PAGE 2014: A YEAR-ENDER

27 12 2014

A LOOK BACK at the year’s unforgettable moments: triumphs, tragedies and controversies, and the people – good or bad – who made the headlines.

This is… Page 2014: A Year-End Report

1arrest
Story of the Year
The unprecedented arrest of three senators: Bong Revilla, Jinggoy Estrada,
and Juan Ponce Enrile for the crime of plunder

1binays
Exposé of the Year
The alleged anomalies in Makati City involving Vice President Binay,
his family and associates

The Top 7 of 2014

1WWinners
1: The Filipino taxpayers – “Jail to the thief!”
2: Ombudsman Conchita Carpio-Morales and her staff
3: Justice Sec. Leila De Lima and her staff
4: President Aquino – ends the year with the highest trust/approval rating among the top government officials
5: The signing of the Comprehensive Agreement on the Bangsamoro
6: The proponents and supporters of the Reproductive Health Law – upheld as constitutional by the Supreme Court; the proponents of the ‘The Graphic Health Warnings Law’
7: Michael Christian Martinez, the first Southeast Asian figure skater to qualify in the Winter Olympics
Special Mention:
The Voice Kids finalists: Darren, Lyca, Juan Karlos, Darlene
Teen basketball phenom Kobe Paras
Youth Olympics gold medalist Gabriel Luis Moreno (Archery)
The NU Bulldogs and its sports program
Princess Mary Superal, winner of the U.S. Girls’ Junior Golf Championship in Arizona
Alyssa Valdez and the Ateneo Lady Eagles #HeartStrong

1MRTLosers
1: Jinggoy, Bong, Enrile
2: Vice President Binay: Trust and approval ratings plummet / Binay chickens out of debate
3: Janet Napoles and sacked Sandiganbayan Associate Justice Gregory Ong
4: Budget Sec. Butch Abad and other DAP proponents as SC rules: It’s unconstitutional
5: The MRT (Controversies, glitches, accidents, long lines, etc)
6: Arrested: Communist Party of the Philippines Chairman Benito Tiamzon and wife Wilma Tiamzon; retired Major General Jovito Palparan and Globe Asiatique’s Delfin Lee
7: Raided and transferred: Rich inmates at the New Bilibid Prison

1Villains
1: Cedric Lee and friends
2: US Marine Private First Class Joseph Scott Pemberton
3: Tau Gamma Phi Fraternity members for the reported hazing and death of a College of St. Benilde student in June, and another neophyte in Tagkawayan, Quezon last November
4: The SUV driver who hit and dragged an MMDA constable eventually killing him
5: The police-suspects in the EDSA-Mandaluyong robbery-abduction case, and the Biñan cops involved in the ‘Wheel of Torture’ game in a Laguna jail
6: Maserati driver Joseph Russel Abacan who punched and dragged another MMDA constable
7: Daily monstrous traffic in the metro

1bongWTF Was That?!?
1: Bong Revilla’s toy truck (First privilege speech)
2: Bong Revilla’s music video (Second privilege speech)
3: Bong Revilla’s ‘Bible-quoting’ shirt on the day he was arrested
4: ABS-CBN’s #MisteryosongSakit sa Pangasinan report: Hoax alert!
5: Manuel “Boy” Mejorada on his case against Drilon: “Based on Wikipedia” AND Atty. Renato Bondal on the price of Makati cakes: “Hula-hula lang!”
6: Ako Bicol Party-list Representatives Christopher Co and Rodel Batocabe’s “Bawal Sumingit sa Linya” bill
7: Lito Atienza’s proposed measure seeking to ban the airing of Koreanovelas on primetime TV

1NBAgaw-Eksena!
1: Nancy Binay’s gown
2: DILG Secretary Mar Roxas to a staff member of the Wack Wack Golf and Country Club: “’Tang-i*@! Kailan pa nagkaroon ng ganyang rules!?! ’Tang-i*@! Walang bawal-bawal sa akin!”
3: Anne Curtis to Sam Concepcion: “Why are you here? Who invited you? You are not classy enough to be here!”
4: Mommy Dionisia’s voodoo act vs. boxer Timothy Bradley
5: Bonfire! The UP Fighting Maroons put an end to a 27-game losing streak in the UAAP men’s basketball
6: The sprawling Philippine Arena of the Iglesia Ni Cristo in Bulacan, the largest of its kind in the world
7: Billy Crawford goes berserk in a police station

mirThis Is War!
1: Vice President Binay vs. Sen. Antonio Trillanes, Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano, and Sen. Koko Pimentel
2: The Binays vs. former ally, ex-Makati Vice Mayor Nestor Mercado
3: Antonio Tiu vs. the Senate blue ribbon sub-committee
4: Tacloban City Mayor Alfred Romualdez vs. rehab czar Panfilo Lacson
5: Vhong Navarro vs. Cedric Lee
6: Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago vs. Cancer
7: Sharon Cuneta vs. her weight

LEILAAhnyareh?
1: The highly-touted Gilas Pilipinas in the Asian Games
2: The Kris Aquino-Herbert Bautista Romance
3: Manny Pacquiao, the basketeer and head coach
4: Nonito Donaire
5: TV5 [Big-name talents like Nora, Sharon and Aga have decided to leave]
6: News anchor Paolo Bediones puts the “bedio” in Bediones
7: BIR’s Shame Campaign

1ERGoing… Going… Gone!
1: PNP Chief Alan Purisima
2: ER Ejercito
3: Naturalized Filipino Andray Blatche [formerly] of Gilas Pilipinas
4: Former Benhur Luy lawyer Levito Baligod
5: Willie Revillame
6: Flappy Bird
7: Nokia, the brand name was ditched by Microsoft from its new smartphones

1MarThe Bashed! [They have become magnets for (online) criticism.]
1: Korina Sanchez and Mar Roxas
2: Nancy Binay
3: Manny Pacquiao, the politician
4: Chicser (a local boy group)
5: Charice
6: Kris Aquino
7: Coach Lea Salonga during the blind auditions

1wed
YES! (Proposals and Weddings – Showbiz Style)
1: Sen. Chiz Escudero and Heart Evangelista
2: Dingdong Dantes and Marian Rivera
3: JC Intal and Bianca Gonzalez
4: Aiza Seguerra and Liza Diño
5: John Prats and Isabel Oli
6: Solenn Heussaff and Nico Bolzico
7: Chito Miranda and Neri Naig
Special Mention:
Yeng Constantino and Victor Asuncion
Nyoy Volante and Mikkie Bradshaw

1MH17
One World
1: Malaysia Airlines’ ill-fated Flights 370 and 17
2: Ebola outbreak
3: The ISIS Attacks
4: Hong Kong’s Umbrella Revolution
5: The Sochi Olympic Games
6: Robin Williams
7: FIFA World Cup

122
#Trending, Fads and Faves
1: Makeup Transformation
2: Ice Bucket Challenge
3: All of Me by John Legend
4: Spotify
5: Flappy Bird
6: Loom Bands
7: The Kramers: Doug, Cheska, Kendra, Scarlett and Gavin
Special Mention:
Paolo Ballesteros

1BWBuzz Words and Phrases
1: Boom panes!
2: Hugot
3: World-class
4: Hacienda Binay
5: Parking Building
6: Bae
7: Nognog

1AIIt Figures
38: The number of women with whom Senator Enrile had had an affair according to his wife, Cristina Castañer-Enrile

13 percent: Vice President Binay’s alleged kickback from each infrastructure project in Makati City according to former close friend, and ex-Makati City vice mayor Nestor Mercado

19: The number of high-profile Bilibid inmates transferred to the NBI headquarters following a recent raid at the NBP

P306.75: The cost of each cake given to birthday and anniversary celebrators in Makati City according to city hall officials

14: The number of days Kris Aquino and Herbert Bautista were “officially” an item.

7: The final rank of Gilas Pilipinas in the Incheon Asian Games; the country’s worst men’s basketball finish ever in the quadrennial meet

21: The age of Ai-Ai De Las Alas’s current boyfriend – Gerald Sibayan, a former badminton varsity player in DLSU-Manila; she’s 50

indexMore! More!
1: Cases vs. corrupt politicians
2: Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago’s witticisms
3: Sen. Grace Poe-Llamanzares
4: Performances from Rachelle Ann Go
5: Peabody, Emmy and other international recognition for original Filipino TV programs
6: Aquino & Abunda Tonight
7: Comedian Boobay of the game show Celebrity Bluff
Special Mention:
The Legaspi Twins: Mavy and Cassy

Enough Already!
1: “News” articles that should fall under the category, “This should be news because?”
1enzo

1rmt

1CloseSilaOwsDiNga

2: ABS-CBN News.Com’s trademark “Why [insert name of celeb here] trended online” | SERIOUSLY, who gives a flying fuck?!
1Trend

3: Vacuous, pointless, and mostly, bot-generated “trending” topics on Twitter Philippines
1insipid

4: The PMPC Star Awards – unless they institute reforms
4.1 A dime a dozen “media awards” given by just about every school, college, or university in the galaxy to radio/TV programs and personalities

5: That song called Boom Panes.

6: Gullible people who ferociously react to fake news items online, and then re-post it. Think before you click idiots.

7: Toby Tiangco. Period.
Special Mention:
The comedy-commentary part of dzBB’s daily morning newscast

1InMemoriam
In Memoriam: Notable Deaths
1: Entertainment: Mark Gil, Myrna “Tiya Pusit” Villanueva, Tado Jimenez, Roy Alvarez, Roldan Aquino, Ramil Rodriguez, Sampaguita Pictures owner Azucena Vera-Perez, Elaine Gamboa Cuneta, former EB Babes Maico Bartolome (drowned/Bulacan field trip)

2: Sports: Ely Capacio, former UP Maroon and PBA player Bryan Gahol, Olympian Anthony Villanueva, Kurt Bachmann, racecar driver Enzo Pastor

3: Government: Sen. Juan Flavier, Justice Serafin R. Cuevas, Jerry Barican, Raul M. Gonzalez, former senator Vicente Paterno, former NBI Chief Epimaco Velasco, former House Sec. Gen. Roberto P. Nazareno, Jesus T. Tanchanco Sr., Raul I. Goco

4: Media: veteran newscaster Harry Gasser, Manila Bulletin Publisher Don Emilio T. Yap, columnist and radio host Alvin Capino, Johnny “Johnny Midnight” Joseph, Raffy Marcelo

5: Fashion: Paul Herrera, Kenneth Chua, Aureo Alonzo

6: National Artists: Abdulmari Asia Imao, Ildefonso P. Santos, Jr., Francisco Feliciano

7: Claudine Barretto’s showbiz career

Sound Bites: The Quotable Quotes of the Year

1jinggoy
“Malinis ang kunsensya ko. I can look straight into your eyes Tita Ruby, you never brought any money to me.”
~Jinggoy Estrada

“The truth will set you free, as they say. So I decided to tell the truth so I don’t have to fear anyone. I don’t have to hide.”
~Socialite Ruby Tuason, close family friend and former Estrada aide

“Wala po akong pakialam kung murahin ako ng buong Pilipinas. Hindi ko kailangan ang palakpak ng buong taong bayan. ‘Di ko kailangang maniwala sila sa akin. And ‘di ako tatakbo sa politics, ‘di ko kailangan ang boto nila. ‘Di rin po ako mag-a-artista o magsho-showbiz, murahin nila ako kung gusto nila.”
~Businessman Cedric Lee

“If this guy would go to Davao and start to unload, pag nakita ko siya in the commission of a crime, I will gladly kill him. Siyempre hihintayin ko siyang lumabas. Pag lumaban ito and he puts up a good fight, I will not hesitate. I will do it for my country.”
~Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte on alleged rice smuggler David Tan/Davidson Bangayan

5
“I feel like a real champion.”
~Filipino Winter Olympian Michael Christian Martinez moments after making it to the Top 24

“I don’t think it’s an affair anymore. It’s a necessity.”
~Cristina Castañer-Enrile on the reported affair of her husband Juan Ponce Enrile with his chief of staff Gigi Reyes

“So kasalanan lahat ng mga babae? Walang kasalanan si senator kasi lalaki lang siya, natural lang. Gano’n ba?”
~Lawyer Gigi Reyes reacting to Cristina Enrile’s revelations

“Mrs. Enrile has her own reasons for muddling the facts, painting her own picture of her marriage and laying the blame on women, who, she said, were the ones who ‘offered themselves’ to her husband. Excuse me, I certainly did not offer myself to him.”
~ Again, lawyer Gigi Reyes reacting to Cristina Enrile’s revelations

“I apologize if we couldn’t act even faster.”
~President Aquino on the slow government response to Typhoon Yolanda

“Ako, gusto ko ring mag-cleansing sa Senado, kung pwede lang ba dahil non-educable nga sila. Naging propesor ako sa UP but I’ve never seen such a group so resistible to education as the Philippine Senate.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago

3
Melanie Marquez: Apart from love, what else do you think we need?
Candidate: Thank you so much for that wonderful question. I think aside from love, all we need is beauty. Well, beauty is not about physical appearance alone. It is about what is inside of you. It is how you share, how you inspire other people, and through that we can achieve unity and it goes on and on and on.
~Bb. Pilipinas 2014

“Why are you here? Who invited you? You are not classy enough to be here!”
~A drunk Anne Curtis to Sam Concepcion

“It’s a triumph of reason over superstition.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago reacting to the SC’s decision on the RH Law

“Kris is too good looking to be dating Herbert. That’s all I have to say about it.”
~Former Makati representative Teddyboy Locsin

“And if the lines are long, we sincerely apologize to our fellow citizens about this difficulty. We are in the process now of acquiring the coaches.”
~Palace spokesman Edwin Lacierda to MRT riders

“’Yong MRT lang ba ang puwedeng sakyan doon sa mga rutang dinadaanan nito? Baka naman puwedeng matuklasan ‘yong iba pang mga options. Hindi naman siksikan ‘yong mga bus na ‘yon.”
~Palace spokesman Sonny Coloma

“Bakit ako magli-leave of absence? Malinis ang aking konsensya. Wala akong kasalanan. Wala akong ninakaw sa taumbayan.”
~Jinggoy Estrada

“Those are suspicions of a wife,”
~Senator Enrile on his estranged wife, Cristina Enrile’s claim that he had an affair with 38 other women

Untitled
“’Tang-i*@! Kailan pa nagkaroon ng ganyang rules!?! ’Tang-i*@! Walang bawal-bawal sa akin!”
~DILG Sec. Mar Roxas berating a staff of the Wack Wack Golf and Country Club

“Alam ko kapag sinusunug-sunog ka, humahaba ang buhay mo. Ok lang. Keri! I must be in a good place right now, so they can burn me. Go ahead!”
~Kris Aquino reacting to protesting Hacienda Luisita farmers who torched her effigy

“Nagalit na naman ang aking kapatid. Sabi n’ya, nagpapapogi lang ako at his expense. I’ll have to be honest. Jinggoy and I are not close. He’s always furious with me.”
~JV Ejercito after signing the Senate’s pork scam report

“You say you’re happy? I don’t see that. With your face all botoxed and all, I don’t see that.”
~Claudine Barretto to sister Gretchen

“I am astounded to learn that I was supposed to have received a birthday gift from her one time 10 years ago in 2004. This never happened. I did not receive any such gift, in cash or kind, from Ms Napoles or her company nor through emissaries then and up to now.”
~Korina Sanchez

“I vehemently and in the strongest of terms deny knowing Janet Napoles at all and just as strongly deny receiving any gift in whatever form from her.”
~Mike Enriquez

“My God! Kung alam ko lang na ‘yong computer eh Napoles, hindi ko na tinanggap ‘yon. Kaliit-liit naman no’n.”
~Sen. Cynthia Villar whose name was mentioned in the Napoles affidavit

V
“Well sa akin, ‘yong internal bleeding, mahirap idahilan ‘yon; kailangang ipakita din ‘yon.”
~Sen. Sonny Angara on Janet Napoles

“Our patient is human; she has her urges.”
~Dr. Efren Domingo, Janel Napoles’s personal doctor

“Bata pa lamang ako ay natuto na akong maghanap-buhay. Sa biyaya ng Diyos, sa aking tiyaga, sipag at pawis, at sa tulong ng mga taong nakilala ko, ito ay aking napalago hanggang sa aking narating ngayon.”
~Janet Lim-Napoles (Affidavit)

Kris
“Tama na po ang awayan, tigilan na ang pulitika ng paghihiwalay. Tama na ang pambebengga.”
~Bong Revilla, June 9, 2014. Privilege Speech 2

“Kung mayroon man akong hindi napaligaya sa aking privilege speech, tayo ay humihingi ng paumanhin sa kanila. Iyong awitin na iyon ay inihandog ko sa 20 milyong kataong sumuporta sa akin.”
~Bong Revilla to critics of his privilege speecg with music video

“Papaano tayo makakatakbo kung nakakulong tayo? Pero malay mo, for the first time nakakulong pero nanalo pa.”
~Bong Revilla on running for president in 2016

“Lalabas ang katotohanan at maaabswelto tayo dito.”
~Bong Revilla, Imus, Cavite 6.19.2014

“We’re accomplishing what some people said was a near impossible task: to have these big personalities who are perceived as untouchable finally prosecuted.”
~Justice Sec. Leila De Lima

Kris
“The mere fact na makukulong na naman ako, tumatayo ng balahibo ko e. Iniisip ko ang mga anak ko.”
~Jinggoy Estrada

“Wala pala talagang somewhere down the road para sa inyo and you can’t stop crying because ‘yong future na inakala mo, ‘yong pinagdarasal mo, that future that kept you going, that dream just disappears.”
~Kris Aquino

“We are going to pursue all those people who are instrumental in the heinous murder of this particular individual. This should not continue.”
~Palace spokesman Edwin Lacierda on the death of a CSB student due to hazing

1wed
“I’ve said it before, I say it again now. It is stupid, katangahan and kabobohan to allow your body to be beaten to a pulp by so-called brothers who had you convinced they will care for you the rest of your life. Our young are falling prey to and are being devoured by their quest for power via a brotherhood that is fake.”
~Inquirer Ma. Ceres P. Doyo, Frat torturers and their victims are weaklings

“I’ve never been unfaithful.”
~Former senator Kiko Pangilinan when asked by ‘Walang Pasaway’ host Mareng Winnie Monsod if he ever cheated on Sharon Cuneta

“Yes! I have cancer. Now I am entering another dimension of human life.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago

“I did [ask Dad] at dineny niya sa akin. Wala daw siyang ninakaw na halagang maski piso daw po.”
~Jack Enrile

“You are shameless. You slept with a man who is not even your husband.”
~ Fr. Romeo Obach to an unwed, teenage mom during a baptismal ceremony in Mandaue City

“I have decided not to accept his resignation. To accept his resignation is to assign to him a wrong and I cannot accept the notion that doing right by our people is wrong.”
~President Aquino on Sec. Butch Abad

“For the past 100 years, itinuturo po ng aming simbahan ang kusang pagkakaloob. Ito naman po ay walang pilitan. Kung anuman ang aming nakalap ay nagagamit lamang para sa mga pangangailangan ng simbahan.”
~Bro. Edwin Zabala, INC spokesperson

1BIN
“Hindi n’ya ho ka-level si Senator Trillanes. My father will not stoop down to his level.”
~Sen. Nancy Binay

“Dito sa Davao, maraming babaeng hipon. When I say Hi, you say pon!”
~Comedian Ramon Bautista hosting an event in Davao City

“Kawawa ang kapatid ko. The senators have the upper hand. Trial court ba ito? Ang feeling ko kulang na lang, ‘yong mga kasamahan ko ukitan ako dito sa noo ko ng M, magnanakaw.”
~Sen. Nancy Binay

“There’s no truth to it. It doesn’t affect me.”
~Sen. Grace Poe on rumors that Ferdinand Marcos and Rosemarie Sonora (Susan Roces’s sister) are her real parents

“It’s world class.”
~Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay on the allegedly overpriced Makati City Parking Bldg.

1JC
“Me, in Binay’s pocket? I will have my head chopped off before a live audience by anyone who can prove that! Life is too short to waste on sucking up to a dynasty that I’m bent on crushing. No to Binay in 2016! Quote me, please!”
~Activist Mae Paner a.k.a. Juana Change

“Siguro that’s their opinion, ‘di ba? ‘Di ba, parang beauty din ‘yan eh. It’s in the eyes of the beholder. Siguro ganoon din yun sa building, ‘di ba? Para sa kanila, hindi ganoon kagandahan pero sa amin maganda na yan.”
~Sen. Nancy Binay

S’yempre, I’m honored, but also I’m relieved that I wasn’t made ninong, ‘di ba?”
~President Aquino on being Chiz Escudero’s best man

I can’t contain myself if I’m under the influence of alcohol.”
~Billy Crawford

“’Wag naman nating lahatin na kasama sa criminal gangs at criminal activities. Ninety nine percent, the overwhelming majority of the police forces, ay ginagawa ang trabaho nila sa mabuting paraan.”
~DILG Sec. Mar Roxas

“Sabi niya ‘Ma’am, natanggap ko na ‘yong cake, ang sarap ng cake.’ Parang hindi ko tuloy alam, idi-deny ko ba eh parang tuwang-tuwa s’ya sa cake. Pag deniny ko, baka hindi na matuwa sa akin dahil hindi pala ako ang nag-bake no’n.”
~Sen. Nancy Binay

“Hindi ko hinanap ‘to talaga, hindi ko hinanap. Dumating na lang siya talaga sa buhay ko.”
~Comedienne Ai Ai delas Alas on her 20-year-old boyfriend from DLSU

“It’s show time!”
~Cedric Lee to Vhong Navarro after his release from jail

1SASA
“Maraming nakikisawsaw, hindi lang Gabriela. Alam naman nating malapit na ang election, sila ‘yong maiingay na naghahanap lang ng issue. Ganoon lang kasimple iyon.”
~Richard Gomez on the controversial Coco Martin number in the annual Bench flesh fest

“Kasi gusto n’ya sikat agad siya, ‘yan ang nasa utak niya. Sarili lang niya ang iniisip niya eh.”
~Former PBA star Ramon ‘El Presidente’ Fernandez blasting Gilas Pilipinas head coach Chot Reyes
“My soul is male, but I’m not going to go through that stage where I’m going to change everything.”
~Charice as interviewed by Oprah

“Malinaw ang misyon ng grupong ito: guluhin ang imbestigasyon ng Senate Blue Ribbon Sub-Committee at ilayo ang pansin ng media sa mga isyu ng korupsyon laban sa pamilya Binay. They picked the name Oplan Maligno since they expect the disinformation campaign to gain traction before the Halloween.”
~LP stalwart and Caloocan City Rep. Edgar Erice

“Mr. Erice, stop looking at the mirror. I’m sure naisip n’ya ‘yon no’ng pagtingin n’ya sa salamin at nakita n’ya ang sarili n’ya.”
~UNA’s Toby Tiangco

“Our place in Batangas.”
~Joanna Marie Binay on Instagram

11BINAY ESTATE3
“Ako ho ang naghamon, wala hong atrasan ‘to kung ako ho ang tatanungin ninyo. Basta’t magkakaharapan po tayo.”
~Vice President Binay

“Ang dahilan ko, mga kababayan, ay dahil marami na akong naririnig. Na siya ay ganito, ako ay mahusay, ako ay debater, ako ay abogado, eh sobra na ang mga salitang ganyan, na kumpirmadong sinabi niya. Eh ayoko naman pong ‘yong pagkakakila n’yo sa akin, mga kababayan, ay mapang-api, mapagsamantala. Na itong isang tao ito ay alam mo namang kawawa, tanga o whatever, pinagsamantalahan ko. So tama na yun. Ayoko na.”
~Vice President Binay

“”For the sake of the country, sana umatras na siya at itigil na ang panloloko sa taumbayan, at kung magtuloy-tuloy siya dahil alam niyang may kikitain siya sa pagka-presidente, sana makita ng mga kababayan natin ang tunay na pagkatao niya.”
~Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV

“Ipinapaalala ni Pangulong Aquino ang kahalagahan ng paggawad ng katarungan para sa marami pang nakabinbing [isyu] bunsod ng diktadurya, kabilang na ang human rights violations at alleged ill-gotten wealth.”
~Palace spokesman Sonny Coloma reacting to Bongbong Marcos’s call for an end to the “feud” between the Marcos and the Aquino families

“Masyado nang malalim ang atraso ng mga Aquino sa mga Ejercito. Tinanggal na ni Cory Aquino si Erap bilang mayor at presidente. Ngayon naman, tinanggal ako saka si Senator Jinggoy.”
~ER Ejercito, unseated Laguna governor

“That’s out of the question. He’s not running for vice president. He prefers to tend to his business than run for vice president.”
~Sen. Cynthia Villar on former senator Manny Villar

“Sana huwag na po nating bigyan ng kulay. Kawawa na nga ho ‘yong tao, nando’n na at sumemplang na nga ho at pasalamat po tayo — pasalamat po kami, at least, hindi ho nasaktan si Secretary Mar.”
~Deputy palace spokesperson Abigail Valte

“All other comments are irrelevant and frankly, reflect more on the people making them.”
~DILG Sec. Mar Roxas reacting to online criticisms

“Based on our study, their removal from the NBP would validate the combined reports of anti-illegal drugs agency that the inmates control the narcotics industry in the country.”
~Justice Sec. Leila De Lima

1MPE
“Walang problema kahit malaki ang sa kanya, maliit lang sa akin; advantage s’ya ok lang ‘yan.”
~Manny Pacquiao on Mayweather’s proposed purse split in the event of a super fight
—————————————————————————————————-
“News is not just about information from media, it’s the current revelation of the two changing worlds of the good and the dark worlds.”
~ Wayne Chirisa

Happy New Year!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Inquirer.Net, PhilStar.Com, Rappler.Com, ABSCBNNews.COm, GMANews.Com, Interaksyon.Com, Gov.Ph, Office of the Vice Presiden, Spin.Ph, Yahoo Philippines, Philippine Entertainment Portal]





PUNCHING BAG

16 10 2012

FIRST, SOME GOOD NEWS. The government has signed a historic peace pact with the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. The Arroyos could only wish they were the MILF.


The peace accord was the good news. And in better news, Ralph Recto has resigned irrevocably as chairman of the Senate ways and means committee.

In a privilege speech last week, Senator Ralph Recto described his version of the sin tax bill as “reasonable, realistic and responsible.” Or as tobacco companies would call it, “Awesome!”

After getting flak for his “watered down” version of the sin tax bill, Sen. Ralph Recto said he had become the “national punching bag of the week.” Recto was supposed to describe himself as the “whipping boy” but he feared Tito Sotto would accuse him of plagiarism.

In another privilege speech Monday, Ralph Recto claimed he had become the “national punching bag of the week.” Tito Sotto had also complained of being the favorite “whipping boy.” On behalf of millions of Filipinos who are mired in poverty and who have not eaten a decent meal in months, we would like to apologize to Senators Sotto and Recto. Hiyang-hiya naman kami sa inyo. Aping-api na pala kayo. Patawad po.

Last week, Tito Sotto was quoted to have said that he’s so tired and stressed he might just resign as majority floor leader. And Nike was like, “Just do it!”

More Good News
The Commission on Elections has disqualified 22 more party-list organizations including two groups with incumbent representatives in the Lower House simply because they do NOT represent marginalized sectors. The disqualification was slammed by the groups’ leaders who vowed to rally their constituents – as soon as they find one.

Ex-Allies Fight
Did you hear the news? Akbayan and Anakbayan supporters had a scuffle earlier today. At one point, the shouting match turned violent… prompting the Malaysian Prime Minister to intervene.

Senatorial Bets
The Comelec has approved the candidacy of at least 27 out of 84 senatorial hopefuls. The rest may resume their jobs in the circus.

VP to Vatican
President Aquino picked Vice President Binay to represent him in Vatican City for the canonization of Blessed Pedro Calungsod. Binay accepted the assignment to the Holy See to, once and for all disprove rumors he’s a ‘maligno.’

Handwashing Day
The Global Handwashing Day was observed Monday, October 15… although senators who passed the Cybercrime Law have been doing that for the past three weeks.

Lucy Liu
On ‘The Late Night Show With David Letterman,’ Hollywood actress Lucy Liu said she preferred running indoors than outdoors because, “If I get really dark, I’ll start to look a little Filipino.” Apparently, Liu doesn’t want to look like Filipino… to which many Filipinos reacted, “Kami rin.”

Hot Planet
Astronomers have discovered a planet with four suns. But that’s really nothing compared to Korea, which has thousands.
———————————————–
“Cigarettes are a classy way to commit suicide.”
~Kurt Vonnegut

Quote of the Day
“But this framework agreement, no matter how we object to it, in my opinion is a blessing in disguise to us. This would lead to the demise of the MILF – 17,000 of their armed forces have shifted loyalty to us and many more are coming back to us. None of them will be left. It is like a sinking ship.”
~Moro National Liberation Front Chairman Nur Misuari on the MILF-GRP peace accord

Have a peaceful week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.





COURTESY CALL

19 09 2011


SHAMCEY SUPSUP met with President Aquino and Vice President Jejomar Binay at the NAIA’s VIP lounge Sunday night. The President congratulated her for a strong finish in the Miss Universe pageant. In return, Shamcey congratulated the President for his high approval and trust ratings. She also congratulated the Vice President for Miss Angola’s win.

Miss Universe third runner-up Shamcey Supsup met with President Aquino Sunday night at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport’s VIP lounge before he left for the United States. The beauty queen’s courtesy call on the President took place at the NAIA because of his very tight schedule. The only person with a tighter sked is Shamcey.

Before the meeting was over, President Aquino told Shamcey Supsup he’s looking forward to seeing her again. Vice President Binay told her he’s looking forward to 2016.

Shamcey Supsup has a contract with the Aranetas’ Bb. Pilipinas Charities. Which explains why Vice President Binay hardly smiled during the courtesy call. She’s with the Balay group!

President Aquino and Shamcey Supsup met at the NAIA’s VIP lounge Sunday night. It was like a scene from ‘Beauty and the Geek.’ Then Vice President Jejomar Binay joined them, and it reminded me of ‘Outsourced.’

Aquino in America
Before he left for the United States, President Aquino vowed to showcase the Filipinos’ competitiveness. To prove his point, he’ll start by telling US President Barack Obama, “Let’s talk about our approval ratings. What do you got?”

Smoking Kills
Citing a recent study, anti-tobacco group Health Justice Philippines reported that 10 Filipinos die every hour from smoking-related illnesses. But Senator Tito Sotto says he’ll only believe the study if Health Justice could show him the death certificates of the 10 people who died an hour ago.

Context
Vice President Jejomar Binay insists his statement regarding a supposed plan to run for president in 2016 was taken out of context. He says he is just “aspiring to become president.” He’ll explain himself further in his next text blast. Wait lang.

FG Leaves
Former First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo has left for Munich, Germany for a medical check up again. Take that DOJ!

Jailed
Former military comptroller Carlos F. Garcia will be serving a jail term of two years. Or as Hubert Webb et al. would say, “Ano ‘yon? Overnight?”

Floyd Jr. Wins
Floyd Mayweather Jr. scored a controversial knockout win against Victor Ortiz. The Mayweather-Ortiz fight preceded the evening’s main event: Mayweather vs. 80-year-old ring announcer Larry Merchant.

Boxing fans can hardly wait to see Floyd Mayweather Jr. fight Manny Pacquiao. To which Floyd Jr said, “Pacquiao is only 32 years old. Let me decide within the next 48 years.”

UAAP Semifinals
The Adamson Falcons wasted its twice-to-beat advantage and lost to the FEU Tamaraws in their do-or-die UAAP semifinals match Sunday. Sources say the Falcons were not able to sleep, and for 24 hours, they kept asking themselves, “What has happened to us?” That’s the same question the UP Fighting Maroons have been asking themselves for the last 25 years.
—————————————————————————-
“You can’t just beat a team, you have to leave a lasting impression in their minds so they never want to see you again.”
~Mia Hamm

Angry Bird
An influential and popular talent has threatened to resign from a large network because of a radio personality. Sources say the talent has been the subject of the radio personality’s recent blind items particularly the former’s alleged infidelity. The talent was quoted to have said, “Nasa iisang bubong kami ‘tapos ayaw n’ya akong tigilan. Eh kung maghiwalay kami ng asawa ko?!?”

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Have fun!





THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE WILLIE

14 04 2011


APRIL 15 is the deadline for the filing of income tax return (ITR). President Aquino has reportedly filed his own ITR earlier this week. Under liability, he wrote, “Communications Group.”

Vice President Jejomar Binay has also settled his obligations with the tax agency. His ITR revealed he made more money than President Aquino. Quizzed by the media on the matter, Binay said, “Bakit? Sino bang mas maraming nagawa?!”

Good News, Bad News
Good News: Umento sa sahod ipapatupad sa Mayo ayon sa gobyerno.
Bad News: Aanhin mo ang umento kung wala namang trabaho?

Good News: Pangulong Aquino magtatrabaho daw sa Holy Week.
Bad News: Humihingi siya ng overtime pay! #waley!

Good News: Sabi ng palasyo, “walang krisis sa bigas!”
Bad News: Sabi ng mga tao, “walang pambili ng bigas!”

Good News: Willie Revillame, mawawala nang two weeks!
Bad News: Two weeks lang.

Good News: Willie Revillame, mawawala nang dalawang linggo
Bad News: Atty. Lenard De Vera, papalit daw muna sa show! #toingkz!

Good News: Pangulong Aquino, tahimik sa isyu ng coco levy funds ni Danding Cojuangco
Bad News: Bakit good news? Anong good news do’n?

The News: Pangulong Aquino, tahimik sa isyu ng coco levy funds ni Danding Cojuangco
Bad News: Blood is thicker than hair.

Good News: Kris Aquino, ayaw na raw sa pag-ibig!
Bad News: ‘Pag-ibig’ mas ayaw sa kanya!

Good News: Pangulong Aquino, kasamang nananghalian ang Bb. Pilipinas-Universe na si Shamcey Supsup
Bad News: Shamcey, ayaw ibigay ang cell number! #toingkz!

Ano ang iniisip ng babae/lalaki sa larawan?

A: “Kung makapisil naman ‘tong matandang ‘to, halatang sabik na sabik!”
B: “Wala ka bang planong maging reporter o newscaster?”
C: “Ay, bakit parang malagkit? Ano kaya ang huling hinawakan nito?”
D: “Join me later iha. Joyride tayo.”


CBCP and McDo
McDonald’s has stopped the airing of its latest television advertisement after Catholic Church leaders complained that it was sending the wrong message to children. Last Monday, a statement expressing disapproval of the ad was released by the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines otherwise known as the Advertising Standards Council.

Girlfriend mo na ba ako?
Ayoko nga. ‘Di pa ako ready eh.
Huh?
Demanding ang mga girlfriend. Gusto ganito. Gusto ganyan. Ewan!
Gusto ko lang naman ng fries.
Talaga?

[Pari at sakristan, nag-uusap.]

Polluted
According to the Department of Environment and Natural Resources, the most polluted area in Metro Manila is around the MRT Edsa/Taft station in Pasay City. In second place is radio host Raffy Tulfo’s mouth.

Venus Hurt
Beauty queen-turned-TV host Maria Venus Raj whose hairstyle during the Bb. Pilipinas 2011 telecast was lambasted by critics online admitted that she was deeply hurt by the negative comments on Twitter. Venus declined to elaborate, excused herself and said, “Mauna na po ako. Late na po ako sa prusisyon.”

In Hollywood…
Despite the controversies, criticisms, and ridicule, Charlie Sheen is reportedly making a TV comeback. He couldn’t say no to Manny Pangilinan.

Reports say Catherine Zeta Jones has checked into a mental health clinic. The actress suffered a nervous breakdown following the arrest of her son, Jason Ivler Jones.
————————————————-
“The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away.”
~John S. Coleman on Taxation


April 15th
On this day in…

1999: Former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto & her husband, Asif Ali Zardari were convicted of corruption. Their son, Mikey Bhutto Zardari was charged with tax evasion.

Personal
Congratulations to both GMA7 and ABS-CBN for bagging awards in the 2011 New York Festivals. GMA won a silver and two bronze, while ABS-CBN won a silver and a bronze. Here’s the complete list of this year’s winners.

Yari Ka!
Is the president of the Czech Republic a pen stealer?

You Have Spoken
Dapat bang ma-suspend ang programa ni Willie Revillame dahil sa “macho dancing” incident?
– Dapat lang! 67.92%
– Hindi na. Warningan na lang. 17.55%
– Bahala na ang MTRCB. 14.53%

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(Note: Shamcey Supsup and President Aquino/Official palace photo.)





TOUGH LUCK

7 04 2011


SUMMER NA! Bakasyon na ang mga estudyante. Malapit na rin ang Holy Week. Dahil d’yan, maging ang mga bituing gumagabay sa mga pulitiko at taong-gobyerno ay nasa vacation mode na rin. Pero bago sila mag-break, narito muna ang kanilang payo at babala sa ilang personalidad sa lipunan.

President Noynoy Aquino
Birth: February 8, 1960
Sign: Aquarius

Sa pag-ibig: Huwag ituring na setback ang latest heartbreak. Sanayan lang ‘yan. May ibang babae para sa ‘yo. Ang problema nga lang: baka hindi ikaw ang lalaki para sa kanila. Bahala na.

Sa kalusugan: Ayaw ka naming takutin pero ayon sa pag-aaral, ang average smoker ay umaabot lamang sa edad na 69. Hindi pa huli ang lahat. Tigilan mo na ‘yan.

Sa trabaho: Paramdam ka pa nang konti. Lagi na lang si Binay eh.

Lucky Tip of the Day: Huwag hayaang makawala ang suwerte. Isara ang bibig kapag ‘di naman nagsasalita.

Vice President Jejomar Binay
Birth: November 11, 1942
Sign: Scorpio

Sa pamilya: So far, so good. Lahat ng sinimulan mo sa Makati City, ipinagpapatuloy ng iyong unico ijo. And when we say lahat, we mean lahat! Tuloy ang maliligayang araw.

Sa trabaho: Umanin ka! You are so enjoying this. Ikaw na ang maging bida sa balita araw-araw! Nangangamoy 2016 na!

Sen. Panfilo Lacson
Birth: June 1, 1948
Sign: Gemini

Sa kalusugan: Tataas ang blood pressure mo. Hinay-hinay lang sa pagkain ng adobo’t embotido.

Sa trabaho: Tama ang desisyon mong tanggihan ang alok ng isang giant network na mag-host ng isang cooking show. Hindi kasi ito magri-rate.

Sa pamilya: Isang teen actor ang magki-claim na ikaw ang tatay niya. Huwag maniwala sa kanya. Hindi mo siya anak. Ewan ko lang ‘yong kapatid niya.

Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez
Birth: Unknown
Sign: Delikado!

Sa pag-ibig: Itigil ang ilusyong crush ka pa rin ni Rudy Fariñas hanggang ngayon. Hindi bagay sa ‘yo ang mag-blush. Ang sagwa eh.

Sa trabaho: Ay, meron ba? May ginagawa ka? In fairness, hindi halata.

Sa kalusugan: Habang papalapit ang iyong impeachment trial, magkakaroon ka ng insomnia. Ganyan talaga kapag ayaw patulugin ng konsensya.

Lt. General Jacinto Ligot
Birth: Won’t tell
Sign: Won’t tell

Sa kalusugan: Kakapitan ka ng isang rare disease. Ito ang tinatawag na “Kris Aquino Syndrome.” Kapag ipinatawag ka ng Senado, lahat ng pangyayari sa buhay mo, mabaho man o mabango ay isisiwalat mo sa publiko. Panalo!

Sa trabaho: Hindi na kailangan. Sa laki ng nakamal mong salapi, mag-relax ka na lang. Kapal ng mukha lang ang kailangan.

Sa pag-ibig: Bantayan ang galaw ng iyong misis. Kilalanin ang kanyang dance instructor. Magsaliksik at alamin rin ang kahulugan ng terminong “cougar.”

Willie Revillame
Birth: January 27, 1961
Sign: Aquarius

Sa trabaho: Wala ka talagang kadala-dala. Bitbit mo pa rin sa Singko ang mga natutunan mo sa kabila. Magbago ka na!

Sa pag-ibig: Huwag nang umasa sa babaeng pinopormahan mo ngayon. Kahit langit at buwan pa ang iregalo mo d’yan, hindi ka niya magugustuhan. Manhid ka ba? Hindi ka niya type!

Manuel V. Pangilinan
PLDT Chairman

Birth: July 14, 1946
Sign: Cancer

Sa trabaho: Patuloy na mag-iingay ang ilang kongresista at kukuwestyunin ang acquisition ng PLDT Group sa Digitel/Sun Cellular. Well, dating gawi. Simulan mo na ang pagkukuwenta. Magkano ba sila?

Sa pag-ibig: Kung saan ka masaya, suportahan ta ka. Huwag intindihin ang mga tsimoso’t tsismosa. Hindi mo kasalanan kung “can afford” ka. Inggit lang sila.

Marlene Aguilar-Pollard
Birth: No records available
Sign: 1/4 Ophiucus , 3/4  Unidentifiable

Sa pagsasalita: Engaging ka. In fact, your histrionics unite people. Kapag napapanood ka nila, sama-sama at sabay-sabay silang nagmumura!

Sa pagiging ina: You’re incomparable.

Sa takbo ng pag-iisip: You’re irreparable.

AT SUMAINYO ang isa na namang edisyon ng mga hula at babala ng mga bituin. Kung nais n’yong malaman ang inyong sariling kapalaran, right click here.

German or Jewish?
The Department of Health says 90 percent of Filipino men are circumcised. The rest have partners who pretend to be happy.

Tax Evaders?
The Bureau of Internal Revenue has filed charges against Ang Galing Party-list Rep. Mikey Arroyo and wife, Angela Montenegro for their alleged failure to remit 73.85 million pesos in taxes to the government. But Mikey’s lawyer, Ruy Rondain explains the BIR should have given his client ample time to reply. After all, it’s not that easy to produce fake receipts.
————————————–
“The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.”
~Barry Goldwater

Photo of the Weak

Ano ang sinasabi ng babaeng nakadilaw sa larawan?
A: “Ayaaaan, ssshwak na sshwak ang bago mong pustisho! Ang saya-saya… ‘no?!”
B: “O, ‘wag kalimutan sha 2013 huh! “Arroyo sha balota… ire-elect sha Pampanga!”
C: “Hello there! You smile at me when you say hello there!”

Elsewhere
Newsbreak: It’s over for PNoy & Len

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Personal: Some readers have alerted me that they couldn’t post the article on Facebook and they repeatedly receive a notice that goes: “This message contains blocked content that has previously been flagged as abusive or spammy. Let us know if you think this is an error.”

Hindi ko po alam kung bakit. Pasensya na.








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