THE INTERVIEW [Vice and the President]

6 01 2015

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FOR THE FIRST TIME, ABS-CBN’s top comic Vice Ganda interviewed none other than the president of the Republic of the Philippines. It was a hilariously revealing one-on-one between two persons who are very close to Kris Aquino. But they’re different. One is a currently loveless, UAAP follower (with a complicated love life) who has been rumored to spend in exchange for “some fun.” And the other one is Vice Ganda.

The public was divided on President Aquino’s decision to be interviewed by a comedian like Vice Ganda. Fifty percent liked the idea and watched the show – while the other 50 percent slammed the guesting and watched the entire show anyway.

Reacting to negative comments, Malacañang said the GGV interview “showed the lighter side of the President.” Rumors say Senator Trillanes appealed to Vice Ganda to invite Jejomar Binay as guest so he could show “the darker side of the Vice President.”

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Vice Ganda’s interview with President Aquino was a hit. When the episode ended, televiewers were yelling, “More! More!” Vice Ganda was thrilled. The last time he heard people yelling was right after a screening of ‘The Amazing Praybeyt Benjamin.’ They were shouting, “Refund! Refund!”

During the interview, President Aquino revealed that he was once president of his Biology class in high school. He became club president when his classmate and close friend who was targeting the presidency decided to give way.

Another piece of trivia from the President: He actually loves to sing but he prefers doing it “alone.” Otherwise known as “How to avoid a fight.”

Grammy-winning artist apl.de.ap, President Aquino claims, has told him that he’s got a good singing voice. That’s the good news. The bad news? Bamboo, Sarah and Lea disagreed.

Vice Ganda also asked the president about his thinning hair. President Aquino said “tanggap ko na,” and then revealed the brand of shampoo he uses: Mane ‘N Tail. This just in: The sales of Mane ‘N Tail dropped by 10 percent after that interview.

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When quizzed about his love life, President Aquino said he wanted to settle down with someone younger. That explains why he’s been dating younger women. To be fair, he doesn’t have a choice these days.

For the first time, the President admitted that TV host Grace Lee was his former girlfriend. In the interest of fairness, we should get the side of Grace Lee.

According to President Aquino, he’s been single for several months now but without going into details, revealed that he’s currently seeing someone. Our balding, chain-smoking president who is almost 55 years old has a love life. What’s your excuse?

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Top 5 Questions President Aquino Refused To Answer During His GGV Guesting

1: Kung dalawa na lang ho ang kandidato sa pagka-presidente sa 2016, sina Mar Roxas at Jojo Binay at isa lang ang pipiliin n’yo, bakit ho si Mar Roxas?

2: Kung bibigyan kayo ng pagkakataong ikumpisal kay Pope Francis next week ang isang kasalanan, ano ito at bakit?

3: Naniniwala ho ba kayo sa kasabihang “Love is blind?” Kung hindi, explain Grace Lee.

4: Sa inyong palagay, ano ho ang nararamdaman ngayon ng ibang reporters at media organizations na na-scoopan ko?  Galit o inggit?

And finally…
5: Kung sinasabi po ng maraming tao na basura ang pelikula kong ‘The Amazing Praybeyt Benjamin,’ bakit tawa kayo nang tawa habang pinapanood ito?

Bonus: THE PRESIDENT AND THE VICE.
During the 2013 senatorial campaign, Vice Ganda sat down with President Aquino for an interview. The transcript of that conversation was published in this blog: EXCLUSIVE! Click here for the full article. Here’s an excerpt:

Puro ka naman joke Vice. Start na tayo.

I see. ‘Yong lagay na ‘yon eh hindi pa pala tayo nagsisimula! So ano ho ‘tong ginagawa natin? Rehearsal? Jooooke! Sige po, game na tayo. Unahin na natin ang tanong na alam kong hinihintay ng masa: Ano ho bang real score sa pagitan n’yo ni Bianca Manalo?

Real score?

Hindi ho! Fake score. Ano ho ang fake score sa pagitan n’yo ni Bianca? Chos lang. Siyempre, real score.
—————————————————————————————————————–
“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”
~Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

Sound Bites
“Mas bata sana kung puwede para may pag-asa pa naman para magkaanak.”
~President Aquino on settling down with a younger woman

Have a productive week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: ABS-CBN Entertainment /via YouTube; @GGVOfficial AND Roxy Liquigan’s Instagram Account]





EXCLUSIVE: THE PRESIDENT AND THE VICE

1 05 2013

DESPITE HIS tight schedule, the President granted us an exclusive interview on condition that it would be a ‘light’ one. So we opted to send one of your favorite hosts to talk to the Chief Executive.

After his hit one-on-one with senatorial aspirant Nancy Binay, the public asked for more. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, ang kilabot ng mga basketbolista… Vice Ganda!

(Canned applause)

Grabe naman ang intro! Nakaka-tense. Parang pinapalabas namang hayok na hayok sa akin ang mga basketball players. Well… I cannot blame them. Charrrrring! Anyway, excited po ako dahil importanteng tao ang makakausap natin tonight. ‘Wag na nating patagalin pa… ang kapatid ng aking ‘asawang’ si Krissy… President Noynoy Aquino!

SALCEDA
Good evening Vice! Kinakabahan ako ah. Nakakatakot pala rito.

Gano’n ho ba? Eh ‘di sige… ‘wag na lang nating ituloy Mr President. Madali naman ho akong kausap. Ayun ang pinto; makakauwi na po kayo. Mga kaibigan, kita-kita ulit tayo next time dito sa…

Ikaw naman Vice, tampo ka kaagad. Nagbibiro lang ako. Kailan ba kita hinindian?

Kung makapagsalita ka naman Sir parang hinahabol-habol kita. Ang gwapo n’yo lang huh!

Loko ka talaga Vice. O, ano ba’ng atin?

Itinatanong n’yo ho kung ano’ng atin? Ang alam ko lang ho ‘yong akin, malaki. Ewan ko ho ‘yong sa inyo!

Puro ka naman joke Vice eh. Start na tayo.

I see. ‘Yong lagay na ‘yon eh hindi pa pala tayo nagsisimula! So ano ho ‘tong ginagawa natin? Rehearsal? Joke laaaang. Sige po, game na tayo. Unahin na natin ang tanong na alam kong hinihintay ng masa: Ano ho bang real score sa pagitan n’yo ni Bianca Manalo?

Real score?

Hindi ho! Fake score. Ano ho ang fake score sa pagitan n’yo ni Bianca? Chos lang. Siyempre, real score.

Ang totoo Vice, hindi pa ako nakaka-score.

Nagtaka pa kayo?

Anong sabi mo Vice?

Ang sabi ko Mr President, ang tanga-tanga naman ni Bianca! Pangulo na ang lumalapit, parang ayaw pa. Sus! Kung ako ang babaeng ‘yon, magdyowa na tayo ngayon Sir!

I can’t imagine Hahaha

You can’t imagine?! Wow! Hiyang-hiya naman ako sa ‘yo Coco Martin! Anyway, here’s the next question: kumusta naman ho ang inyong sex life?

I think that’s private.

Exactly Mr. President! I am asking about your privates! Hellooow!

Pasensya na Vice. ‘Wag na ‘yan.

Sige na nga! Hmmpf. Ang liit-liit na bagay, ayaw pag-usapan. Moving on… Almost three years na kayo sa puwesto pero hindi pa rin daw kayo tumitigil sa paninisi kay GMA. Hobby n’yo ba talaga ‘to o trip-trip lang?

Alam mo Vice, seryosong usapin ito.

Bakit ho? Sinabi ko bang joke ‘yan? Nagbibintang kayo huh! Masama ‘yan Mr President. Naninisi ka na naman.

Lahat ng masamang nangyayari ngayon ay bunga pa rin ng masamang mga patakaran noon. Kung nababanggit ko man ang nakaraang administrasyon sa aking mga talumpati, nais ko lang ipabatid sa taumbayan na walang magandang maidudulot ang pagiging gahaman at mapang-abuso sa kapangyarihan.

Ang dami namang sinabi. ‘Tinanong ko lang kung trip o hobby, nobela ang naging sagot! Kaloka! Mr. President, malapit na po ang eleksyon, hypothetical lang… kung may isang member ng LP coalition ang sure na matatalo, sino ang gugustuhin mo, and why?

Isa lang??

Hindi ho. Labindalawa! ‘Di ba kasasabi ko lang na isa Mr President? Hindi n’yo ho narinig? Kung ayaw n’yo ng isa, gawin nating labindalawa, para lahat sila… talo! Bahala kayo!

Mahirap eh. Pero kung pipili ako ng isa… ahm, isa lang talaga?

Paulit-ulit??!? Oo nga ho! Isa lang! Ang kulit!

Lahat sila ikinakampanya ko at lahat sila ay napalapit na sa akin. Pero kung ako ang pipili ng matatalo…

Bakit ho si Mrs. Villar?

Sandali! Wala pa akong sinasabi. Saan nanggaling ang Mrs. Villar?

Ay, hindi ho ba siya? Sorry. I thought siya ang choice n’yo dahil noong 2010 grabe ang batuhan n’yo ng putik.

Mahirap sagutin ang tanong mo Vice. Baka may magtampo. Pwedeng ibulong ko na lang?

Sure! Sino ho ‘yon Mr. President?

(Mr. President whispers a name to Vice)

Oh em gee!!!!! Siya?!?! Nakakaloka ka Sir! Hindi ko inexpect na s’ya, promise! May pam-blackmail na ako sa’yo Mr. President… hahaha!

Wala namang laglagan Vice. Sa ‘ting dalawa lang ‘yon.

Joke lang Sir. Sa mga readers, heto ang clue sa name na ibinulong sa akin ng pangulo: May letter A sa full name! Good luck sa panghuhula. Back to you Sir… alam kong napanood n’yo ang interview ng TV Patrol sa apat n’yong kapatid na babae. Ano ang masasabi n’yo kay Ma’am Viel?

Actually s’ya nga lang ‘yong tinext ko nang makita ko silang apat sa TV eh. Sabi ko kay Viel, “Si Alison Krauss ka ba?”

I’m sure, nagtanong si Ma’am Viel, “Bakit?”

Kasi… you say it best when you say nothing at all. Boom!

Pucha naman! Ang korni mo Mr President! Sarap mong sipain! Syet. Anyway, iniintriga ho ngayon si Albay Governor Joey Salceda. Kasi naman, LP leader siya pero inendorso daw niya sina Nancy Binay at Jack Enrile. Ano ang masasabi n’yo sa bruhang ‘yon, I mean sa pangyayaring ito?

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Joey called me the other day at nagpaliwanag naman. Naging “extra hospitable” daw lamang siya nang mangampanya sa Albay ang UNA.

Echosera! Hindi ako naniniwala Mr President! Malakas ang radar ko sa Salceda na ‘yan! In 2010, nilaglag din niya si Gilbert Teodoro at lumipat sa LP. I’m sure, sa 2016… ta-traydurin naman niya ang Liberal! Watch out!

LP member ka ba Vice? Kung magsalita ka kasi parang regional chairman ka. May galit ka ba kay Joey?

Sinasabi ko lang ang totoo Mr President. At wala akong galit kay Salceda. Excuse me, ang layo ng ganda ko sa kanya!

Saang school ka nga galing Vice?

FEU! Morayta!

Si Joey Salceda… Atenista.

Hindi halata! Tse!

Namemersonal ka na. May tanong ka pa?

Marami hong nag-aalala, kasama na kami ni Krissy, sa balitang bumibigay na ang katawan n’yo sa matinding kampanya. Paulit-ulit ho ang payo ng Philippine Medical Association, mag-quit na raw kayo sa pagyoyosi. Any reaction?

Paulit-ulit ko ring sasabihing ang paninigarilyo ang stress reliever ko. Mahirap bang unawain ‘yon?

Kayo pa ang galit Mr. President?? Wow. Sorry naman sa concern! By the way, alam n’yo bang ayon sa isang recent study, nakakaliit ng t*ti ang smoking?

Ang bastos naman ng bibig mo Vice! ‘Tsaka ‘di dapat pinaniniwalaan ang mga ganyang study. Sus! Sa ibang bansa lang ‘yan! Paano ba mag-quit?

‘Yun na! Pag-usapan natin ‘yan mamaya Sir. Tapusin muna natin ‘to. Kung tomorrow na isasagawa ang presidential elections, sino ang iboboto mong pangulo?

Siyempre, isa lang. ‘Yong taong nagpaubaya sa akin noong 2010 – ang matalik kong kaibigang si Mar.

Bakit Mr. President, handa na ba ang publiko sa kanya?

Mas dapat yatang tanong mo Vice: handa na ba ang publiko kay Korina?

Ay! Parang may laman ang statement na ‘yan! May pinaghuhugutan? Before I forget, congrats nga pala Mr. President for being one of the 100 most influential people in the world ng TIME magazine.

Siyempre, nagpapasalamat ako sa pagkilala. Nakatataba ng puso ang mapasama sa nasabing prestigious list.

Oo nga eh. Kasama n’yo sa listahan si Kim Jong Un.

Si Kim Jong Un ng North Korea?!!!!!?

Hindi ho! Si Kim Jong Un ng Belgium o kaya Kim Jong Un ng Tuvalu. ‘Di bale Mr President… ang importante, influential ka!

Thank you Vice! Matagal pa ba ‘to?

Ay, minamadali n’yo ako?? Ano bang sked n’yo today: trabahong pampangulo o trabahong pam-partido?

Are you implying something?

Wala ho. Sabi ko ho, ang sipag-sipag n’yo. Sige po… dahil campaign period naman ngayon at bilang pasasalamat sa inyong pagpapaunlak sa aming invitation… you can pitch for your candidates. I am giving you 1 minute.

One minute?

Ah hindi! Kung gusto n’yo… 1 week. Sige, simulan n’yo na’t baka abutan pa kayo ng eleksyon. Go!

Pwede ko nang simulan?

No Mr. President. Tapusin mo na! Kaloka ka!

-End of Interview-
———————————–
“I do not believe that any political campaign justifies the declaration of a moratorium on ordinary common sense.”
~Dwight David Eisenhower

Sound Bites
“I courteously held the hands of Nancy and Jack but did not raise (them).
~Albay Governor and LP regional chair Joey Salceda on his endorsement of UNA candidates

Have a productive month of May!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.








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