PUBLICITY

28 01 2010

FYI: the official campaign period for national elective posts won’t kick-off until February 9. Yes, according to the law, official campaigning starts on that day… meaning, those ads you see on TV right now? They’re unofficial. They’re not serious. Don’t believe them.


The race for president heats up as the campaign period approaches. Have you seen the candidates’ latest stunts? Noynoy Aquino tried to rap, Gilbert Teodoro flew a plane, and Manny Villar performed another vanishing act at the Senate.

Noynoy Aquino tried to rap and Gilbert Teodoro attempted to fly a plane. Not to be outdone, Bro. Eddie Villanueva will try to walk on water.

Have you seen Gilbert Teodoro’s latest TV ad where he tried to fly a plane? Here’s an update on that: the owner of the plane has threatened to sue Gibô for using the aircraft without permission.

This just in! While ABS-CBN is backing the candidacy of Noynoy Aquino, its child welfare arm, Bantay Bata 163 has decided to throw its support behind “abused child” Jamby Madrigal.

Villar vs. Enrile
Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile accused Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. of trying to buy his loyalty last August 29, 2009. It took five months for Enrile to expose the alleged bribe try because he had to study the offer carefully.

Villar vs. Enrile II
Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. denied offering a bribe to Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile. While Villar admitted that he met briefly with Enrile, he clarified that he never attempted to bribe him although he remembered telling the Senate president, “I could give you a new house and lot if you’d appear as a contestant on Wowowee.”

Pimentel’s Joke
Senate Minority Leader Aquilino Pimentel Jr. has apologized for a sex joke during Monday’s heated Senate debate on the C-5 road extension project controversy. Pimentel admitted that it was wrong to crack a joke on Korina’s crack.

Priests Confess
Some 5,500 Roman Catholic priests participated in a mass confession Wednesday, January 27. The event marked one of the largest gatherings of hypocrites ever.

Some 5,500 Roman Catholic priests participated in a mass confession Wednesday, January 27. A check on official records showed that the most common terms uttered during the confession were “boys” and “women.”
_____________
“There’s a very fine line between what is considered legal and ethical and legitimate, and [what constitutes] bribery.”
~Randall Eliason

Survey Says
Marlene Aguilar-Pollard is…
Mabuting ina 2%
Kunsintidora! 15%
Nuts! 83%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.





CHRISTMAS AND POLITICS, TOO

24 12 2009

FIRST, some bad news. Mayon Volcano has erupted. The explosion has endangered the lives of Albay residents… prompting President Arroyo to declare martial law in the province.

AGAIN, I would like to apologize for this delayed post. I promise to have regular updates after Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, a number of political personalities emailed me and asked why their own re-creations/re-enactments of the Nativity Scene were not mentioned in the previous post. I told them I was running out of time when I uploaded that particular post last Sunday. Nonetheless, I promised to feature their own Yuletide anecdotes in the succeeding posts.

It’s the holiday season. It’s Christmas! The signs are all over: people flocking to Divisoria; Communist rebels declaring a truce with the government, and Satur Ocampo shaking hands with Bongbong Marcos!

Did you hear what happened when the First Gentleman dressed up like Santa at the palace? When he started talking, his grandchildren said, “You’re not Santa! You’re Santo Niño!”

A Yuletide trivia about the Defensor-Santiagos. Since 1992, Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago and her husband have refused to display Christmas trees in their house. Asked why, the couple replied, “Ganun katindi ang galit namin sa mga puno.”

Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay is perhaps the most consistent local executive when it comes to playing Santa to his constituents. He’s been doing that for 23 consecutive years!

Instead of designating someone to buy stuff for him, Sen. Manny Villar himself did the shopping this year. The most expensive item he bought was Loren Legarda.

Atty. Gilbert Teodoro had a difficult time shopping. So he just let Ronaldo Puno do the work for him.

Something bad happened to the Nativity Scene created by Sen. Panfilo Lacson. The three kings who were traveling at night were mistaken for robbers and were ‘neutralized.’ Lacson accused Erap of masterminding it.

The Liberal Party’s re-enactment of the Nativity Scene was one of the most controversial. Serge Osmeña backed out from playing Jesus when he learned that Ralph and Vilma would play Joseph and Mary.

In Pampanga, the re-enactment of the Nativity Scene at the capitol was ordered stopped by Governor Ed Panlilio. The priest-on-leave canceled the event when Mr. and Mrs. Bong and Lilia Pineda insisted on playing the role of the infant Jesus’ “godparents.”

In fairness to Lakas-Kampi-CMD, they did try to re-enact the Nativity Scene. They just couldn’t really complete the cast.

The Roxas-Araneta family had a lavish Christmas party in which the Nativity Scene was reenacted. As expected, Mar Roxas played Joseph. Korina Sanchez was infant Jesus’ stepmother.

Former senator Jovito Salonga’s favorite Christmas carol is “The Christmas Song.” He particularly likes the line that goes, “And so I’m offering this simple phrase/ To kids from 1 to 92…”

Sen. Ramon “Bong” Revilla Jr. also loves “The Christmas Song.” He gets horny when he hears the line, “Chest nuts roasting on an open fire…”

Senatorial aspirant and retired Army Major Gen. Jovito Palparan doesn’t like people in Santa outfit. He refused to elaborate but said, “I just hate Reds.”

Inquirer columnist Conrado De Quiros is giving away Transformers toys this year. He purchased both sets of Autobots and Decepticons… because he believes in toys that depict the battle between good and evil.

Rumors say Korina was a no-show at the Christmas party of ABS-CBN News and Current Affairs… making it the group’s most enjoyable gathering in recent years.

The Kapuso Network’s party for the press was well thought of. However, network bosses were reportedly alarmed when ABS-CBN’s press party got a higher rating from the attendees!

In terms of variety though, ABC 5’s Yuletide parties top them all. Every year, they celebrate the Holidays with new owners, new bosses, and new officemates.

Finally, for the first time in history, the Philippine Daily Inquirer and the Philippine Star had a joint Christmas party. Thanks to their joint sponsor, Noynoy Aquino.
______
“If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.”
~Charles Schulz

Light Bites
Q: In Maguindanao, an unidentified person donned a Santa costume. He was really unrecognizable. But when he spoke three words, the kids around him yelled, “Andal Ampatuan Jr!” What three words did he utter?
A: Backhoe! Ho! Ho!

Survey Says…
After watching them in a couple of presidential fora, who do you think deserves your vote in 2010?
NOYNOY AQUINO 25%
JC DE LOS REYES 1%
JOSEPH ESTRADA 1%
DICK GORDON 26%
JAMBY MADRIGAL <1%
GILBERT TEODORO 36%
EDDIE VILLANUEVA 5%
MANNY VILLAR 6%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
I’d like to thank Senator Chiz Escudero for the Holiday txt greets. Chiz’ thoughtfulness never fails to amaze me – despite the heckling.

And to everyone who made this year a remarkable and memorable one for The Professional Heckler, Merry Christmas!

To borrow Pacquiao’s line: Maraming salamat sa inyung supurta!

Have a safe vacation!





OF CANDIDATES AND CARNAGE

29 11 2009


LP’s Standard Bearer
Liberal Party’s Noynoy Aquino filed his certificate of candidacy for president Saturday, November 28. Television host Boy Abunda, sister Kris Aquino, Cesar Montano, Gretchen Barreto, Dingdong Dantes, Marian Rivera, Kim Chiu, Enchong Dee, Erich Gonzales, and Coco Martin accompanied Noynoy when he filed his COC. However, they were barred from entering the Comelec office because they were carrying torches.

Noynoy Aquino’s girlfriend Shalani Soledad was also outside the Comelec office when he filed his COC. While she was not carrying a torch, she was also refused entry by the security guards who claimed they merely acted on orders from Kris Aquino.

A huge crowd accompanied Sen. Noynoy Aquino when he filed his certificate of candidacy for president last Saturday, November 28. According to newspapers, 2,000 people came out. According to cops, 1,500. According to the Social Weather Stations, 60 percent.

Mar Files COC
Sen. Mar Roxas has officially filed his certificate of candidacy for vice president. Korina Sanchez is now an official candidate for Second Lady.

Mikey’s Plans
Speaking before some 200 local officials from Pampanga who serenaded President Arroyo at Malacañang Palace, Second District Rep. Mikey Arroyo said he was more than willing to give up his House seat for his mother, President Arroyo. And while on vacation, Mikey plans to study the correct procedure in declaring his statement of assets, liabilities and net worth.


Ano ang nararapat na caption, deskripsyon, o pamagat sa larawang ito?
A) “Kung hindi manguna sa survey ng Pulse Asia, manguna man lang sana sa tindig at porma.”

B) Sa ating lahat na lumaki sa “Batibot,” handa… awit!
“Pagsama-samahin ang pare-pareho
Ang magkakatulad ay ating igrupo
Kay sayang libangan, kay daling gawin
Ang pare-pareho, pagsamahin natin.”

C) “TG Guingona was here.”

D) “The boat is sinking. Group yourselves into… 6!”

E) Buhay na buhay ang tsansa nilang manalo… hanggang sa mamatay si Cory Aquino.

Ampatuan Jr.
Datu Unsay, Maguindanao Mayor Andal Ampatuan Jr. was brought to Manila aboard a chopper last Thursday night. Unknown to many though, it took several hours before Ampatuan Jr. was convinced to ride the helicopter… because he insisted on riding a backhoe instead.

Ampatuan Jr. II
Datu Unsay, Maguindanao Mayor Andal Ampatuan Jr. was separated from other inmates at the NBI jail because he was considered a high-risk prisoner. Since being airlifted to Manila last Thursday, sources say Ampatuan Jr. has been restless, and keeps looking for his wives, his children, and his political party.

Ampatuan Jr’s Foe
When Buluan, Maguindanao Vice Mayor Ismael Mangudadatu saw Andal Ampatuan Jr. during the inquest proceeding at General Santos City last Thursday, Mangudadatu said, “Gusto ko siyang kainin!” But the grieving vice mayor changed his mind when Ampatuan Jr. revealed, “Ipinaglihi ako sa baboy.”

GMA’s Spokesperson
Deputy presidential spokesperson Lorelie Fajardo dismissed the Maguindanao massacre as a mere “incident between two families.” She added, “I don’t think the President’s friendship with the Ampatuans will be severed.” The president is now studying recommendations to sever her ties with Fajardo.

Battle Cry
OBAMA: “Change? Yes, we can!”
AMPATUAN Jr.: “Murder? Yes, I can!”
____________________
“We need a law that will permit a voter to sue a candidate for breach of promise.”
~Anonymous

Stay safe. Have a productive week ahead!





MR. & MRS. PADYAK

28 10 2009

marco_wedding_hands LET ME BEGIN THIS post by saying that I am genuinely happy for ex-future president Mar Roxas and his ex-girlfriend, the ex-future First Lady Korina Sanchez, who is now a certified madrasta.

Congratulations, best wishes, and most importantly, good luck!

Unknown to many, I was one of the hundreds of uninvited folks who endured the smoldering heat outside Sto. Domingo Church in Quezon City to witness the event dubbed by local media as the “People’s Wedding” and “Kasalan ng Taon.” Dozens of politicians attended the ceremony, probably the reason why it was hotter inside the church.

The truth is: Conrado De Quiros and I were sent wedding invitations by Senator Roxas. However, Korina insisted that we apologize first before security personnel could allow us inside. In short, “No Sorry, No Entry.” De Quiros replied, “I’d rather wait for Noynoy’s wedding.” But the PDI columnist admits he doesn’t have any idea if it will ever happen since “Sa lahat ng pulitikong may girlfriend, si Noynoy lamang ang hindi atat na atat mag-asawa.”

marco_wedding_TAO As for me, I opted to be a spectator outside. Thanks to the giant video wall that was installed in front of the church for ordinary people to see the wedding. If it’s any consolation, I was beside the GMA 7 news team. You just have to admire those guys. They were so prepared for the special coverage! In fact, they brought their 3G phones in case the video wall suffered technical glitches!

The ceremony was pushed back to 4 o’clock because the bride wasn’t around yet at the originally-scheduled 3PM rites. It turned out that from the Intercon Hotel in Makati, Korina first went to Heritage Memorial Park in Taguig City to pay respects to her departed parents – in her bridal gown! She plans to do the same this coming All Saints Day.

marco-wedding-telon
Trivia: Ano o sino ang nakikita n’yo sa larawan?
A: Parada ng santong sikreto pa ang identity
B: Prusisyon ng mahiyaing birhen!
C: Si Korina ‘yan. May GMA 7 crew kasi sa labas kaya pilit itinago!
D: Duh! Basta ang alam ko kamukha ni JV Ejercito ‘yung lalaking naka-blue

Deviating from the norm, Korina Sanchez did not wear a veil to cover her face. It was a personal and tactical request, as she wanted to make sure that neither Sen. Francis Pangilinan nor reporter RG Cruz could go near her.

As the Inquirer reported, politics took a backseat at the celebrity-studded event. Everyone was there: from the stalwarts of the Liberal Party to members of Erap’s company and even allies of the ruling Lakas-CMD-Kampi. The only VIP missing was Loren Legarda who reportedly got sick because of climate change.

The almost nonagenarian, former Senate President Jovito Salonga, a principal sponsor was present. Loren Legarda would have enjoyed talking to him.

marco_wed_noy Among the guests, presidential aspirant Noynoy Aquino was greeted with the loudest applause. The only other time he received such applause from the public was when he told his sister Kris Aquino to “shut up.”

Congressman Teofisto “TG” Guingona III almost didn’t make it to the occasion. Good thing he resigned from the Nacionalista Party on time.

During the offertory, former Chief Justice Artemio Panganiban, a principal sponsor offered chalice and wine. Another principal sponsor, Rosa Rosal offered blood.

Reports say Sen. Mar Roxas wrote his own wedding vow… which was a good thing. Imagine if people behind his TV ads were tasked to write it! Baka nag-back out ‘yung bride!

marco_wed-vows But an awkward moment happened during the exchanged of vows. After Korina stated that Mar was the fulfillment of everything she ever wanted in a husband; Roxas slipped, and said that Sanchez was the fulfillment of everything he ever wanted in a political endorser.

Yet another awkward thing happened at the reception. When relatives of the groom conducted a survey and asked guests if they wanted the couple to have a baby before the elections, 30 percent chose YES while 10 percent chose NO. The remaining 60 percent chose Noynoy Aquino!

A minor commotion ensued during the traditional tossing of the bridal bouquet. When Korina Sanchez tossed it, the bouquet landed on Vicki Belo’s face, and P100,000 worth of Botox squirted out.

marco-wedding-kiss2 According to the Philippine Star, at the end of the matrimonial ceremony, “Mar and Korina kissed for 11 seconds.” But the Philippine Daily Inquirer said, “the couple kissed for three minutes according to a reliable source who requested anonymity.” The Manila Bulletin merely described it as “a beautiful kiss” while Abante Tonite’s banner headline said, “Nasarapan sa halikan!”

Postscript: In case you missed snippets of the wedding on TV, just follow Inquirer columnist and Liberal Party supporter Manolo Quezon on Twitter. He tweeted a detailed account of the event: blow-by-blow. Good job!
___________
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.”
-Zsa Zsa Gabor

chiz-announce IN OTHER NEWS
SENATOR FRANCIS JOSEPH ESCUDERO has announced his resignation from his party, the Nationalist People’s Coalition shocking not only his party mates but the members of the press as well who expected him to declare his presidential bid in a hastily-organized press conference at Club Filipino Wednesday morning. Before dozens of his cheering supporters, the 40-year-old father of twins delivered a speech in Filipino, the original draft of which reached the Professional Heckler. Will be posting it on Friday.

Matapos mag-resign si Chiz sa partido, sinong kandidato ang susuportahan ng NPC? Tatakbo pa ba si Chiz sa pagka-pangulo? Ikunsidera niya kaya ang pagka-bise presidente? Ano ang mangyayari sa plano ni Loren Legarda? Sino ang magiging presidential running mate niya? At ang pinakamahalagang tanong na kamakalawa pa gustong malaman ng publiko: Bakit walang belo si Korina Sanchez sa kanyang kasal?

Survey Says
Should Noynoy Aquino marry Shalani Soledad in case he wins the presidency?
OO, Para may First Lady: 19%
NO. Ayusin muna niya ang bansa. 27%
I don’t give a damn. 54%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
Newsbreak Magazine advises presidential aspirant Manny Villar: You don’t stand judges up

Francis Escudero’s political adviser Lito Banayo insists the senator is seeking the presidency

Loren Legarda’s statement on Chiz Escudero’s resignation from NPC

Morbid but true: Memorial pages on Facebook





PARTNERS

25 10 2009

LOREN_DECL
Loren Declares Bid
Sen. Loren Legarda who has officially declared her bid for the vice presidency is reportedly looking for a presidential running mate. In particular, Legarda wants a partner who is “Beyond 70,” “Married,” and “Adventurous.”

Loren Declares Bid II
Did you catch Sen. Loren Legarda’s speech last Friday detailing her “green’ platform of government? After listening to her speech, I was convinced that the lady senator’s the best candidate and the most qualified to become this country’s next… environment secretary!

VILLARWOWOWEE Villar on Wowowee, Again
Presidential aspirant Manny Villar was on the game show Wowowee again last Saturday, and gave away houses and lots to six overseas Filipino workers. If in the next survey he’d still trail Noynoy Aquino by more than 20 percentage points, Villar vows to give away an entire subdivision.

Puno Quits VP Race
DILG Secretary Ronaldo Puno, who has withdrawn his bid for the ruling party’s vice presidential nomination in 2010 says he’s “fed up with politics” to which politics reportedly retorted, “the feeling is mutual.”

Mar & Korina’s Wedding
Sen. Mar Roxas told Senate reporters that he’s “very excited” about his forthcoming wedding with Korina Sanchez. The lady broadcaster is “equally thrilled” but admits she’s been fervently praying that on their wedding day, Roxas won’t give way to Noynoy.

Top 7 Things Korina Sanchez Wouldn’t Want to Hear on Her Wedding Day

No. 7: “And now for the latest update. Tropical storm Santi is now a super typhoon and is expected to make landfall in Southern Luzon and Metro Manila on Tuesday afternoon…”

No. 6: “Akala mo bading, ‘yun pala hindi! Akala mo for show, ‘yun pala for real!”

No. 5: “For the First and Second Reading, may we call on Ms. Mel Tiangco and Mr. RG Cruz.

No. 4: “In fairness huh, ang ganda ng mukha, hikaw, at kwintas. Parang totoo!“

No. 3: “Huwaaat??? Inatake sa puso ‘yung pari??!!”

No. 2: “This senator will self-destruct in five seconds. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1!” (Wedding March then starts playing)

And the No. 1 thing Korina Sanchez wouldn’t want to hear on her wedding day…

“Mabuhay si Noynoy! [Mabuhay!]

_________
“The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.”
~Anonymous

Survey Says
Who should be our next vice president?
Jejomar BINAY; 8%
Loren LEGARDA: 4%
Ronaldo PUNO: 1%
Mar ROXAS: 42%
None of the above: 44%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.





SURVEYS

17 10 2009

NOYNOYsws
SWS Survey
The latest Social Weather Stations survey showed that a whopping 60 percent of Filipinos wanted Sen. Noynoy Aquino to succeed President Arroyo in 2010. Again, that’s 60 percent! In a related story, a global study has revealed that Filipinos are the most sympathetic people in the world.

SWS Survey II
According to the latest SWS survey, 60 percent of Filipinos wanted Sen. Noynoy Aquino to replace President Arroyo in Malacañang next year. An even higher 80 percent wanted Joshua Aquino to replace Mikey Arroyo in Malacañang next year.

SWS Survey III
Liberal Party’s Noynoy Aquino got an uber-impressive 60 percent rating in the latest SWS survey. Noynoy is so popular, he actually placed second to Obama in the Nobel Peace Prize balloting.

SWS Survey IV
Sen. Noynoy Aquino obtained a ginormous 60 percent rating in the latest SWS survey. Again, that’s a whopping 60 percent! To give you an idea how much 60 percent is, think of the Op-Ed section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer. Of that section’s five regular weekday columnists, only Belinda Olivares-Cunanan and Neal Cruz won’t vote for Noynoy. That’s what 60 percent is!

SWS Survey V
Asked by the SWS to name leaders who should replace President Arroyo in 2010, 5 percent of the respondents picked Sen. Loren Legarda while 4 percent chose Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro. Six percent actually answered, “I don’t know.” To at least outrank Legarda, Teodoro is now locating that “6 percent” so he could introduce himself.

Top 3 Questions Asked In the Latest SWS Survey Topped By Sen. Noynoy Aquino

No. 1: Anak siya ng isang dating pangulo at ng isang bayani. Sino ang iboboto mo sa pagkapangulo sa 2010?
A: Manny Villar
B. Joseph Estrada
C. Gilbert Teodoro
D: Wala sa A, B, and C. Malamang nasa E.
E. Oo nga. Nandito nga! Noynoy Aquino! Now na!

No. 2: Ayaw ng Pilipino sa mandarambong. Ayaw ng Pilipino sa nandodoble ng budget sa road project. Ayaw ng Pilipino sa bata ni Gloria. At ayaw ng Pilipino sa batang trapo. Sino ang nag-iisang kapatid na lalaki ng TV host na si Kris Aquino?
A: Boy Abunda
B: Bambi Fuentes
C: Tsokoleit
D. Jobert Sucaldito
E. Noynoy Aquino

No. 3: Gusto mo bang maging First Lady ang nasa larawan? Kung oo, sino ang dapat mong iboto sa 2010?
shalaninoy
A: Feeling ko si Congresswoman Cynthia Aquilar-Villar ang nasa larawan. Siyempre, si Mr. Sipag at Tiyaga ang choice ko.
B: Ito ang larawan ni former Sen. Loi Estrada bago ang botched cosmetic procedure. Kaya ang iboboto ko ay si Erap.
C: Kilala ko siya! ‘Yan ang former Nikki Prieto na ngayon ay kongresista at maybahay ng iboboto kong pangulo sa 2010, si Secretary Gibo Teodoro.
D: Hoy, A, B, at C: ang dami n’yong daldal! Ang tatanga naman ng sagot n’yo! Si Cristine Flores ‘yan na wife ng ating magiging presidente sa 2010… si Chiz Escudero!
E. Siya si Valenzuela City Councilor Shalani Soledad – ang babaeng makakakuha ng pwestong dating inasam at pinangarap ng isang lady broadcaster. Noynoy Aquino for president!

IN OTHER NEWS…
gmaHOTT GMA is Hot!
A foreign blog listed the 172 “hottest heads of state” and our very own president, Madam Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo placed 9th. President Arroyo is so hot… her 20-year-old breast implants melted!

GMA is Hot! II
According to a foreign blog, President Arroyo is the 9th hottest among 172 heads of state! The president is so hot, militants are blaming her for climate change.

GMA is Hot! III
Of the 172 “hottest heads of state” listed in a foreign blog, President Arroyo impressively ranked 9th! The president is so hot, even the First Gentleman refuses to touch her.

GMA is Hot! IV
According to a blog, President Arroyo is the 9th “hottest head of state.” The president is so hot… when she visited hell recently, she thought it was winter season there.

GMA is Hot! V
A foreign blog listed the 172 “hottest heads of state” and our very own president, Madam Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was in 9th place. But the ranking is expected to change… as soon as Noynoy Aquino officially declares his bid for the title.

mar_k Mar & Korina’s Wedding
It’s a go for the wedding of Sen. Mar Roxas and Korina Sanchez on October 27. As I have mentioned before, since Mar has given way to Noynoy, the wedding coordinator will no longer set up a ‘presidential’ table. The lavish event has also been scaled down in deference to the nation’s recent catastrophic typhoons. The only unchanged plan is the traditional “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.” In fact, the bride didn’t even have to exert effort to complete all four. Everything’s in her face.

SPIDER Rare Find
Biologists have found the world’s first known vegetarian spider in Central America. Amazing! But that’s nothing compared to the world’s first “bitch” that made the list of the 10 “hottest heads of state.”

Newspaper Survey
According to the latest Nielsen Media Index study for the first half of 2009, the Philippine Daily Inquirer was the choice of 48 percent of Filipinos in National Urban Philippines. But the study is being questioned by the Philippine Star because the remaining 52 percent chose Noynoy Aquino.
________
“Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold.”
~Will Rogers

Survey Says…
I am just curious, and please don’t lie: how young are you?
12 – 18 years old: 4%
19 – 30 years old: 47%
31 – 45 years old: 31%
45 – Above: 19%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.





ONDOY’S ONSLAUGHT

28 09 2009

Warning: Due to the latest tragedy that struck the country, The Professional Heckler will not be in his usual mean (and funny) self. Apologies.

APTOPIX Philippines Flooding Exodus
Concerned for their survival, one by one, hopeless and worried people started leaving. They were trying to save themselves. Nope, I’m not talking about typhoon victims. I’m referring to members of Lakas CMD-Kampi.

Philippines Flooding Record-Breaking
Weather specialists were stunned at the volume of water brought by tropical storm Ondoy. So powerful was the storm that Bayani Fernando was finally forced to come out of his weeklong seclusion.

Philippines Flooding Devastation
According to news reports, because typhoon Ondoy has caused massive destruction in the country, PAGASA might delete the typhoon’s name from the official list of future weather disturbances in the country. In bigger news, the National Historical Institute is studying if it could delete the names Marcos, Estrada, and Arroyo in the official list of Philippine presidents.


Several political personalities and controversial celebrities reportedly used Twitter to express their thoughts on this latest tragedy. Here are samples of unverified posted tweets.

President Arroyo: “Sabi nila knee-deep lang!? It was chest-deep! Puñeta!”
about 34 hours ago from web

Sen. Mar Roxas: “Ramdam ko kayo. Promise, totoo na ‘yan.”
about 12 hours ago from web

Sen. Manuel Villar: “I am worried about C5 road.”
4:30 AM Sep 25th from web

Sen. Noynoy Aquino: “Will have to meet with the Pink Sisters before deciding on which evacuation center to visit first.”
about 28 hours ago from twitterfeed

Cebu Rep. Antonio Cuenco: “Half of the members of the Lower House will join Noynoy’s planned relief drive.”
about 30 hours ago from web

Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “God Save the Philippines from typhoon Ondoy!”
5:30 PM Sep 25th from UberTwitter

Sen. Jinggoy Estrada: “Baka akala mo porke’t bumagyo, nakalimot na ako. Hindi pa tayo tapos Mr. Panfilo Morena Lacson.”
10 seconds ago from web

Bro. Mike Velarde: “Baligtarin n’yo ang inyong mga payong! Tikatik, liglig, at umaapaw na… ang baha!”
10 AM Sep 25 from Uber Twitter

Pampanga Rep. Mike Arroyo: “My advice sa mga nawalan ng bahay at gamit: pakasal ulit kayo para may magregalo sa inyo.”
2 seconds ago from web

NPA leader Ka Roger Rosal: “Basang-basa dahil sa bagyo at nanginginig sa sobrang lamig. Ka Joma, kung nababasa mo ‘to, magli-leave ako for one week!”
1900 hrs Sep 25 from mobile phone

Vicki Belo: “Just got home after driving around the metro. Ang daming nagkalat na plastic.”
about 27 hours ago from web

Kris Aquino: “Gosh, did you see Marikina and Cainta? I swear, kailangan nila ng makeover!”
about 30 hours ago from web

Annabelle Rama: “May nagtext sa ‘kin dong. Kasabwat ni Ondoy si Wilma Galvante dong!”
3 minutes ago from web

Korina Sanchez: “Rain or shine, tuloy ang kasal!”
7:30 PM Sep 25th from twitterfeed

Headline of the Weak:
hataw
___________
“Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.”
~ Bill Watterson

Elsewhere…
Philippine Daily InquirerWorst floods in the Philippines

GMA News.TVList of verified relief centers for ‘Ondoy’ victims

27092009418 Personal: I Survived!
This street in Makati City used to be submerged in chest-deep floodwaters – the first time it happened in eons! I had to wade through it last Saturday night before three men pushing a tryke-kuliglig hybrid vehicle offered me a 300-peso(!) ride to our house at the end of the road. Two monoblock chairs were placed on the sidecar so i could stand on them. I had to raise my hands (a la-Pacquiao holding his WBC belt) to protect my bag with laptop. Para akong santong ipinaparada sa binagyong fluvial procession! Kulang na lang may magsabit sa ‘kin ng dried everlasting. It was Bocaue Pagoda tragedy meets MMFF Parade of Stars meets Manny Pacquiao victory motorcade! Insane! Ganito kami sa Makati, paano pa kaya ‘yung mga taga-Cainta at Marikina City?

Take care everyone!





SIDEKICK

20 09 2009

villar-st
Villar’s Running Mate
Liberal Party stalwart Franklin Drilon says presidential aspirant Manny Villar is running out of options for vice president. But Villar’s staunch ally, Gilbert Remulla dismissed Drilon’s observation and said, “Si Senador Villar mauubusan ng VP?!? Hello!?! Kung gusto n’yo doblehin pa niya eh!”

Villar’s Running Mate II
According to the Philippine Daily Inquirer, presidential aspirant Manny Villar will choose either Senator Francis Escudero or Sen. Jinggoy Estrada, or even Makati Mayor Jejomar Binay as possible vice presidential candidate. Villar is reportedly looking for a running mate who has the most experience, and the least asking price.

Villar’s Running Mate III
Presidential aspirant Manny Villar’s running mate is reportedly a choice among three people: Chiz Escudero, Jinggoy Estrada, and Jejomar Binay. The good, the bad, and the …mayor. [Ang sama ng iniisip n'yo!]

Mar and Noy _9.03 It’s Noynoy and Mar!
Sen. Mar Roxas has accepted Sen. Noynoy Aquino’s invitation to run as his vice-president. Roxas says he will make the official announcement at Club Filipino today, September 21 because it’s a historic day. In fact, there will be two major announcements: One, that Roxas has finally decided to run for vice president, and two, that Korina Sanchez has finally decided to give way to Shalani Soledad.

Estrada vs. Lacson
Reports say deposed president Joseph Estrada is ready to listen to the second privilege speech of Sen. Panfilo Lacson scheduled tomorrow, September 22 . To give you an idea how well prepared Estrada is for the second speech, his lawyers have already drafted a second libel complaint against the Inquirer.

eraplibel Top 5 Predicted Surprises in Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s Second Privilege Speech About Former President Joseph Estrada

No. 5:

No. 4:

No. 3:

No. 2:

And the No. 1 predicted surprise in Senator Lacson’s second privilege speech about former president Joseph Estrada…

No. 1:

amikey In Other News…
House committee on energy chairman and Pampanga Rep. Mikey Arroyo assured there would be no blackout during the 2010 elections. Asked by reporters how sure he was, he replied, “Nagdududa kayo? Then, sue me!”

Noli Heckled
Of course you’ve heard the news. Vice President Noli De Castro had an outburst last week when leftist protesters interrupted his speech during the awarding of land titles to homeless people in Los Baños, Laguna . He refused to apologize to the protesters whose leader was later identified as Kanye West.
________
“There is nothing so likely to produce peace as to be well prepared to meet the enemy.”
~George Washington

Elsewhere…
Newsbreak asks “Is Bayani Fernando gearing up for legal battle?”

Philippine Sunday Inquirer’s editorial on Lakas CMD-Kampi standard bearer Gilbert Teodoro

Survey Says
On Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s exposé on former President Estrada:
I believe him: 76%
Lies!: 7%
Let me study the allegations further: 17%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.





EXPOSED!

15 09 2009

Laxon_expose
Lacson vs. Estrada
In Part 1 of his three-part privilege speech titled “Ang Dalawang Mukha ng Sining,” opposition senator Panfilo Lacson exposed Joseph Estrada’s extensive links to illegal gambling, smuggling, extortion, and other abuses during his term as president including the convicted plunderer’s possible involvement in the abduction and murder of PR practitioner Bubby Dacer and his driver Emmanuel Corbito. Sought for reaction, Estrada said, “Bakit ako matatakot sa 30 percent pa lamang na exposé? Mas nakakatakot ang kay Noynoy, 50 percent!”

Sen. Panfilo Lacson delivered an explosive speech linking former president Joseph Estrada to illegal gambling operations, big time smuggling, extortion, and other abuses during his presidency including his possible involvement in the gruesome murder of PR man Bubby Dacer. Observers believe this could have been the year’s most shocking political story… had not Sen. Mar Roxas proposed to Korina live on Wowowee.

manyuch Filipino-Chinese tycoon Alfonso Yuchengco confirmed Senator Lacson’s exposé that he was coerced to selling his PLDT shares to Manny Pangilinan in 1998. Asked to comment on Yuchengco’s revelation, Pangilinan said, “Chika lang ‘yun! Promise!”

jingg After Senator Lacson’s privilege speech, Sen. Jinggoy Estrada took the floor to denounce what he called “a clear vilification drive against my father” and warned, “If this gentleman does not stop spreading lies about my father, I will tell the truth about the person of Senator Lacson.” Inspired by Jinggoy’s reaction, Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. rose from his seat, looked at a surprised Sen. Jamby Madrigal and threatened, “If this lady does not stop spreading lies about C5 road, I will tell the truth about the person of Senator Madrigal.”

In Part 1 of his three-part exposé on former president Joseph Estrada titled “Ang Dalawang Mukha ng Sining,” Sen. Panfilo Lacson detailed his former boss’ involvement in illegal gambling, smuggling, extortion, and other abuses during his short-lived presidency. After listening to Lacson’s speech, every single person in the Estrada household was reportedly stunned. In fact, former senator Loi Ejercito was so shocked… for the first time in several years, her face moved!

estrada_family
Top 5 Rejected Working Titles for Senator Panfilo Lacson’s Upcoming Privilege Speeches Against the Estrada Family

No. 5: “Ang Dalawa’t Kalahating Baba ni Jinggoy”

No. 4: “Ang Walong Kabit ni Erap”

No. 3: “Ang Nawawalang Leeg ni JV”

No. 2: “Ang Dalawang Katauhan ni Jude”

And the No. 1 rejected working title for Senator Panfilo Lacson’s upcoming privilege speech against the Estrada family…

“Through the Years: Ang Apat na Ilong ni Senator Loi Ejercito”

noys SWS Survey
Reports say Sen. Noynoy Aquino topped the latest Social Weather Stations survey conducted in major regions of Luzon earlier this month. Noynoy got 50 percent; the other 50 went to the Pink Sisters.

SWS Survey II
The latest SWS survey showed that the Noynoy Aquino-Mar Roxas tandem was the most preferred by voters in Luzon. The least preferred was the Mar Roxas-Korina Sanchez tandem.

GMA’s US Trip
President Arroyo has canceled her scheduled trip to New York. The president made the decision after getting information that not a single solon was willing to foot the bill at Le Cirque this time.

kabaya Noli’s Decision
The Philippine Daily Inquirer reported that Vice President Noli De Castro has rejected the offer of Lakas-CMD-Kampi to join the party. Sought for comment, De Castro explained, “Bakit ka kakandidato pa, kung sa offer pa lang ni Villar ay panalo na!”
__________
“Revenge is a confession of pain”
~Latin Proverb

korina_rg Elsewhere: RG Cruz vs. Korina Sanchez
I received a letter three days ago but opted to verify its authenticity first before writing about it lest I be accused again of spreading black propaganda against a certain Korina Sanchez.

Just so you know, there’s an ongoing “war” between a certain Korina Sanchez and RG Cruz, a journalist from ABS-CBN.

Reports say a certain Korina Sanchez, through an open letter, has asked her superiors at ABS-CBN to probe RG for his not so flattering Facebook comments about the ex-future First Lady. [Pati ba naman Facebook status, patulan?!]

A portion of the ex-future First Lady’s letter to management menacingly reads:
“So to you, RG Cruz, I say, I hope that — as your Facebook entry narrated — as you were “eating chocolate” and indulging your gastronomical cravings while events at Club Filipino on the 2nd of September 2009 were unfolding and all you could think of and delight in, as written in your Facebook, are your cruel attacks, pettiness, inanities and insensitivities to the sacrifice of others and, horror of horrors, make these public — you will, henceforth, attempt to save yourself from the very real prospect of disappearing, leaving this world without a trace, no better and even worse than when you found it.”

Here’s the letter in full as posted in the blog of lawyer Marichu Lambino.

Da Who?
Very reliable sources say a lawmaker who has “links” to showbiz is hooked on prohibited drugs. Because of the addiction, he is frequently absent in sessions. A TV show is currently working on the story but I seriously doubt if the lawmaker would grant an interview… unless he’s prepared to lose in the 2010 polls. Hint: Check out your calendar.

Survey Says…
Who should be the standard bearer of the administration party?
Noli De Castro: 8%
Bayani Fernando: 22%
Ronaldo Puno: 1%
Gilbert Teodoro: 14%
I don’t care: 55%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.





NOYNOY

9 09 2009

noyprez
Noynoy for President
Sen. Benigno Simeon “Noynoy” C. Aquino III has officially declared that he is running for president in 2010. In announcing his bid, Noynoy vowed not to steal; vowed not to cheat; vowed not to lie, and vowed not to hire the services of Mar Roxas’ ad agency.

MARKORINAeeeew Noynoy Declares Bid II
Sen. Noynoy Aquino has officially declared his bid for the presidency. But his choice of running mate, Sen. Mar Roxas is having a hard time deciding whether or not he would seek the post of VP… mainly because his bride-to-be has yet to drop her bid for First Lady.

Top 5 Rejected Slogans for Noynoy Aquino’s Presidential Campaign

No. 5:
Ex ni Korina, Ex ni Barbara, Ex ni Diana
Pinagsisihan ko na silang lahat, ‘wag kayong mag-alala!

No. 4:
Noynoy Saves: Dahil sa pagtakbo n’ya… naligtas kayo kay Korina

No. 3:
Kung sawâ na kayo sa bad na ARROYO,
Oras nang iboto ang bald na AQUINO!

No. 2:
Problema ng bansa ay malalampasan
Basta’t may Pink Sisters na malalapitan!

And the No. 1 rejected slogan for Noynoy Aquino’s presidential campaign…

Para sa inyong lahat: Isang tunay na reporma…
[‘Wag n’yo lang pakialaman ang aming hacienda!]

Philippines Aquino Son Kapapasok Lang!
Naluha ang mga relihiyosong taga-suporta ni Senador Noynoy Aquino nang ideklara nito ang pagtakbo sa pagkapangulo sa susunod na taon. Partikular na nagalak ang Pink Sisters na malaki ang paniniwalang ang kandidatura ni Noynoy ay nasusulat… nasusulat sa mga columns ni Conrado De Quiros.

binay In Other News…
Makati Mayor Jejomar Binay has dropped his presidential bid to support the candidacy of Noynoy Aquino. A pro-Binay group is now pushing for a Noynoy-Jojo Binay tandem… to which Korina Sanchez said, “Bakit n’yo ba ako pinagtutulungan?”

Manalo: RIP
Dozens of politicos attended Monday’s interment of Iglesia ni Cristo executive minister Eraño “Ka Erdie” Manalo who died last August 31. The burial rites were very organized and solemn except for a minor commotion. During the 21-gun salute for Manalo, the honor guards aimed their guns at the politicians.

eraplax Erap vs. Lacson
On Monday, Sen. Panfilo Lacson will reportedly drop a bombshell on deposed President Joseph Estrada. When Erap heard this, he said, “Gago ba siya? Hindi ako takot sa bombshell. Hindi ako takot sa kahit anong klaseng babae!”

BF for President
MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando is reportedly keen on running for president in 2010. BF will officially announce his bid after consulting with the Pink Urinals.
_____________
“Competing at the highest level is the greatest test of one’s character.”
~Russell Mark

UPPEP Elsewhere…
What’s the sequence of performance in this year’s UAAP Cheerdance Competition scheduled Sunday, September 13? Find out here.

Check out RP’s ranking in the Global Competitiveness Report 2009-2010.

Survey Says
Will you vote for Mar Roxas if he runs for Vice President?
Ayoko pa rin: 50%
Definitely: 30%
I will think about it: 20%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.





THE EX-FUTURE FIRST LADY

5 09 2009

mar_korina Top 10 Messages Left on Korina Sanchez’ Answering Machine

No. 10: Hello ‘nak, si Nanay Cristy Fermin mo ‘to. Isaisip mo sa tuwina, ang Poong Maykapal ay hindi nagbibigay ng pagsubok na hindi kakayanin ng Kanyang nilalang. Malalampasan mo ‘yan ‘nak. Teka lang, ‘nak, ‘yong pangako mong sobre, ‘di ko pa natatanggap.

No. 9: Hi Korina, sa ABS-CBN newsroom ‘to. We’re all here! Guys, altogether now. One… two… three! Ang saya-saya!

No. 8: Hello Korina, Cynthia Villar here. I don’t expect you to believe me but… ramdam kita. Andun ka na eh! Todo-effort ka na eh! Nag-leave ka pa nga ‘di ba? ‘Tapos, biglang uurong?! Ang sakiiiiiiit! Ang sakit-sakit! Tisyu! Penge akong tisyu!

No. 7: Hi Ma’am, si Abby po ito, secretary ni Dr. Palayan. Gusto pong malaman ni Doc kung gagamitin n’yo pa ang luma n’yong pisngi. Naiwan n’yo raw kasi sa clinic last week.

No. 6: Korina, this is Mel. Yup, Mel Tiangco. Wala lang.

No. 5: Hi Korina, si Sharon ‘to. What you said about Kiko was hurtful. You were never his partner. You are not his wife! Kaya ‘di mo siya nirerespeto. Madrasta ka lang! Madrasta!

No. 4: Hi friendsheeeeeep, this is Kris. Alam mo, I heard your interview sa radio last week and in fairness to you huh, may potential ka sa drama. Promise! Sabi ko nga kay Ms Charo, i-guest ka sa MMK eh. O sige, need to go. Nangungulet na si Josh eh. Humihingi ba naman ng one gallon of ice cream. Gosh, he’s consumed two gallons already ‘noh. Ahah-ahah-ahah! Bye sis! And give my regards to Vice President Mar.

No. 3: Korina, it’s Conrad De Quiros of Inquirer. I just realized, I might have erred in saying that Mar was power hungry. He’s not. But you are!

No. 2: Hon, alam kong nandiyan ka. Alam kong nakikinig ka. Sagutin mo naman ang tawag ko oh. Bakit ba ayaw mo ‘kong kausapin? Ilang beses na ‘kong nag-sorry sa naging decision ko ‘di ba? ‘Tsaka sabi mo sa press, okay lang sa ‘yo ang nangyari. Hon, hello? Hon? Tang-ina hon, ‘pag ako napikon si Noynoy ang papakasalan ko.

And the No. 1 message left on Korina Sanchez’ answering machine…

Hello Korina! Apologies for what happened last week at Club Filipino. Nagmamadali kasi ako kaya nabundol kita. Siyanga pala, si Karma ‘to.

Light Bites: First Ladies
Imelda Marcos: Imeldific
Cynthia Villar : Cynthetic
Korina Sanchez: Cosmetic

Enjoy your long weekend!

____________
Kung gaano kataas ang lipad, ganoon din ang lagapak ‘pag bagsak.
~Kasabihang Pilipino

From the Inquirer’s Gossip Section: September 6, 2009
Hated News Diva

Former staffers of News Diva are reportedly rejoicing that her dream of social prominence has hit the skids.

A source says disgruntled former co-workers earlier prepared a white paper, with video support, detailing ND’s crimes and misdemeanors and portraying ND as the rudest, most hated personality in mass media.

Alas, since ND’s ambition was nipped in the bud, the hate video remains hidden until further notice.

Grabe! Ang hirap namang hulaan! Hahaha

Personal
Try to catch “Kimmy Dora” in a theater near you. Eugene Domingo is insanely funny in her latest project. A really entertaining film. Another comedy that I hope to see soon in theaters is “Last Supper No. 3,” the best picture in the 2009 Cinemalaya Film Festival. .





RAMDAM

3 09 2009

markorn
Rated K
It’s September! Yup, the “ber” months are here. The world’s longest Yuletide celebration has just been started by Filipinos… with the exception of Korina Sanchez whose observance of Lent began Tuesday.

An obviously hurting Korina Sanchez lashed out at perceived critics of Mar Roxas in a radio interview Wednesday. At one point, Sanchez even demanded an apology from Inquirer columnist Conrado De Quiros for calling the current crop of presidential aspirants, “atat sa kapangyarihan.” Reacting to the demand, De Quiros promised to stop calling Roxas “power hungry” if Korina would stop acting like a First Lady.

MAROSA Korina Sanchez insisted that she cried not because Mar Roxas dropped his bid for the presidency but because of some people who expressed doubt about her boyfriend. Eh mag-propose ka ba naman ng tanghaling tapat sa game show ni Willie Revillame, paano ka ba namang ‘di pagdududahan?!?

A fuming Korina Sanchez wept openly during her DZMM interview yesterday. For those who missed out on that rare moment, Sanchez is doing a repeat performance live on Wowowee soon.

Reports say the scheduled wedding of Sen. Mar Roxas and Korina Sanchez will push through on October 23. However, because of recent political developments, the caterer has decided not to set up a “presidential” table.

mikeyigan
Mikey’s Millions
Cong. Mikey Arroyo told Unang Hirit’s Arnold Clavio and Prof. Winnie Monsod that his assets ballooned from a mere P5M in 2002 to P99M in 2008 partly because of gifts from wedding sponsors. Challenged to show proof, Mikey took out a wedding invitation that says, “Paid for by sponsors of Mikey and Angela.”

Mikey Arroyo’s net worth in 2002 was P5M. In 2005, his net worth rose to P76.9M. His suspicious wife is now checking on reports he got married thrice in three years.

Mar and Noy _9.03
Noynoy Retreats
Sen. Noynoy Aquino is currently on a four-day retreat in Mindanao to pray for spiritual guidance as he decides whether or not he would run for president in 2010. Meanwhile, Mar Roxas’ fiancée, Korina Sanchez is going on a two-week retreat to pray that Noynoy declines the endorsement.

Sen. Noynoy Aquino left Manila on Thursday for a four-day retreat in Mindanao to pray for divine guidance as he decides whether or not he would run for president. Actually, Noynoy wanted to pray for five days but God would be too busy on Monday as He is scheduled to talk to Among Ed Panlilio.

Villanueva Won’t Withdraw
Amid praises for Mar Roxas’ decision to give way to partymate Noynoy Aquino, Born Again Christian leader Bro. Eddie Villanueva says he will not back out of the presidential race in 2010. To give you an idea how determined he is in running and winning the presidency, he has started to court the endorsement of Iglesia ni Cristo.

chetiongson Singson Beats Wife
A case was filed against deputy national security adviser Luis “Chavit” Singson by his live-in partner Rachel “Che” Tiongson after he allegedly beat her up for committing adultery. Something awkward though happened at the Quezon City RTC where the case was filed. When the case was being raffled off, Singson placed a bet.
_________
“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”
~ Anthony Robbins

Survey Says…
Will you support Joey De Venecia’s senatorial bid?
Sure, why not: 50%
No, way!: 42%
Joey who?: 7%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.





SAVING FACE

2 09 2009

Tabloid Headline, September 2, 2009

Dalawang prominenteng pamilya sa Pilipinas lumuluha
Ka Erdie Manalo, pumanaw;
Sen. Mar Roxas, umayaw!

sukonako Roxas Withdraws
Sen. Mar Roxas has dropped his bid for the presidency next year. If he could only turn back time, he would have prayed much harder for Tita Cory’s recovery.

Mar Roxas has announced his decision to drop his presidential ambition in 2010. Joseph Estrada lauded Mar’s statesmanship. Chiz Escudero hailed Mar’s selflessness. And Manny Villar praised Mar’s performance… in the SWS and Pulse Asia surveys.

Presidential aspirant Mar Roxas, who’s been trailing in recent surveys, will no longer seek the presidency in 2010. His family and supporters call it an “act of sacrifice,” otherwise known as “graceful exit.”

Mar Roxas will no longer run for president in 2010. He has also adopted a new slogan, “Lacson, hindi ka nag-iisa.”

Last week, Pampanga governor Among Ed Panlilio declared that he was willing to forego his presidential ambition if Noynoy Aquino would seek the presidency. Panlilio will reportedly make a formal announcement as soon as he gets a go signal from God. ‘Di pa niya kasi nakakausap ulit.

mar_korina_eeeeew In a press conference held last night, Mar Roxas announced that he has dropped his plans to become president in 2010. Fighting back tears, he said, “Bayan bago ang sarili. Maniwala man kayo o hindi, ginagawa ko ito para sa bayan.” And just to prove his love of country, he is also dropping his plan to become a groom next month.

Presidential aspirant Mar Roxas said withdrawing from the 2010 presidential race was the hardest decision he has ever made in his entire life… next only to his decision to marry Korina Sanchez.

Broadcaster Korina Sanchez was seen crying while Mar Roxas was making the important announcement at Club Filipino. Apparently, hindi siya handa.

marnoy2009 In an emotional speech at Club Filipino, Mar Roxas expressed support for Noynoy Aquino’s candidacy for president. He promised, “Hindi kami maghihiwalay ni Noy.” Korina Sanchez cried even more.

The good news is Mar Roxas has officially announced that he shall give way to Noynoy Aquino in 2010. The bad news is Korina Sanchez still refuses to give way to Shalani Soledad.

Presidential aspirant Mar Roxas made two important decisions yesterday, September 1. First he changed his mind and dropped his bid for president. Second, he changed his Friendster status from “In a Relationship to “It’s Complicated.”

mar_pedicab Mar Roxas has canceled his bid for the presidency in 2010. An hour before he made the announcement, he canceled his contract with the ad agency that created his TV commercials. He told them, “’Tang-inaaaaa! Ano ba ‘tong ginawa n’yo!?”

Mar Roxas is no longer running for president. He now seriously considers accepting ABS-CBN’s offer to replace Willie Revillame on Wowowee.

Top 7 Movie Remakes About Sen. Mar Roxas’ Decision to Drop His Bid for the Presidency

No. 7: Kung Fu Malya (Sa Surveys)

No. 6: I, Lowbat

No. 5: My Best Friend’s Quitting / Look Who’s Quitting

No. 4: Race/Off

No. 3: Ganito Kayo ni Korina Noon, Paano Kayo Ngayon?

No. 2: Kung Mangarap Ka’t Magising… na Wala Kang Tsansang Manalo

And the No. 1 movie remake about Sen. Mar Roxas’ decision to drop his bid for the presidency…

We’re Not Just that Into You

In Other News
Reports say former First Lady Imelda Marcos is pushing her son Bongbong to run for president in 2010… to which the Ilocos Norte representative quipped, “Sure! Pero sa isang kondisyon: mamatay ka muna.”

manalo Ka Erdie, 84
Iglesia ni Cristo executive minister, Eraño ‘Ka Erdy’ Manalo passed away Monday, August 31. The INC leadership has released a memorandum circular calling on all members to observe bloc mourning.

Senate Hearing on ZTE
In yesterday’s Senate hearing on the canceled ZTE NBN deal, businessman Joey De Venecia insisted, “I am a victim of this anomalous contract.” Ulol!
_____________
“A good sacrifice is one that is not necessarily sound but leaves your opponent dazed and confused.”
~Nigel Short





MOTIVES

30 08 2009

NOYNOY_MAR Mar & Noy
In a radio interview Saturday (August 29), presidential aspirant Mar Roxas said he is now willing to slide down to the VP race if his best friend, Noynoy Aquino decides to seek the presidency. In making that statement, Roxas hopes to solidify their friendship, cement party unity, and boost his ranking in the next presidential survey.

Mar & Noy II
Presidential aspirant Mar Roxas, who previously insisted that he wouldn’t slide down to the VP race has just announced on radio that he would give way to Noynoy Aquino if the latter decides to run for president. Mar’s latest pronouncement was hailed by everyone in the Roxas household… except for Korina Sanchez.

In the News: Mar Roxas at Noynoy Aquino, mag-uusap na!
Bad News: Live! Sa The Buzz!

In the News: Para sa kaibigang si Noynoy, Mar Roxas handang magparaya!
Bad News: Sa isang kondisyon: siya ang First Lady!

Party Wants Noynoy
The Aksyon Demokratiko party of former presidential candidate Raul Roco+ has formally endorsed Noynoy Aquino as its standard-bearer for the 2010 elections. Noynoy is reportedly enthralled by the support of Aksyon Demokratiko… mainly because her Mommy Cory and the said party have something in common – they’re dead.

In the News: Mga miyembro ng Aksyon Demokratiko, suportado si Noynoy Aquino
Bad News: Aksyon Demokratiko, iisa ang miyembro

GMA & Noli
Short of anointing Vice President Noli De Castro, President Arroyo, in a statement released Friday said she regards Kabayan “as a leader imbued with decency, capability, dedication to public service and genuine sensitivity for the Filipino masses that will make him a good President.” The Inquirer said the message was sent to the vice president through text message. And if rumors were to be believed, De Castro had a very prompt, very short, and very honest reply: “Madam President… what’s ‘imbued’?”

GMA’s Trips
Malacañang is now mum on President Arroyo’s upcoming foreign trips but the Department of Foreign Affairs says she may be in Libya as early as tomorrow, August 31. To avert another potential scandal, an advance party has been sent to Tripoli to scout for a carinderia.

In the News: Pangulong Arroyo, patungong New York at Libya
Bad News: Palasyo, naghahanap ng manlilibreng kongresista

RP’s Richest
Forbes Magazine reported that presidential aspirant Manuel Villar is the ninth richest Filipino today. He would have ranked a notch higher if the Comelec imposed a ban on premature political advertisements.

Elsewhere…
Albay Governor Joey “She’ a lucky bitch” Salceda strikes again. Check out this column.

An Inquirer letter-sender shares his views on Mar Roxas’ political advertisements. Read the letter here.

jdv3 Briefly Noted
Have you heard the radio (political) ad of Joey “Back Off” De Venecia? It goes:

Si Joey De Venecia…

“Natigil natin ang anomalya ng ZTE. Napigil ang kurakot.”

Pero ang bwelta ng pamahalaan kay Joey napakalupit.

“Ang buhay ko, laging may banta. Hanapbuhay, inipit. Kanegosyo, tinakot. Pero lahat ‘to kaya kong tiisin makasama ko lang kayo sa pagsulong ng pagbabago at pag-angat sa kahirapan.”

Palabra de honor. Delicadeza. De Venecia.

Oh, come on Joey! All of sudden you wanted to be “with” us?! That’s a lot of bull! You’re just as rotten as those guys who were involved in the scandalous ZTE-NBN deal so drop that shitty impression that you’re some sort of a hero because you’re not. And please, stop using the people for your own selfish ends. Who do you think we are… Jarius Bondoc?!?

jdv33 A more believable JDV III radio ad…

Si Joey De Venecia…

“Nawalan ako ng kontrata. Natigil ang pasok sa akin ng pera.”

Napagtanto ni Joey, mahirap pala kapag ‘di na House Speaker ang kanyang Daddy.

“Kompanya ko, sa bidding… natatalo. Hanapbuhay ko, apektado. Umaatras na rin ang ilang kasosyo. Pero lahat nang ‘to kaya kong lampasan dahil may papasukin na akong bagong negosyo – kayo! Tatakbo ako sa senado upang makasama ko ang mga tao sa pagsulong ng pagbabago at pag-angat sa kahirapan.”

Pork Barrel. Droga. De Venecia.
_________
“The public may be willing to forgive us for mistakes in judgment but it will not forgive us for mistakes in motive.”
~Robert W. Haack

Survey Says…
Who has a better chance of winning the presidency?
Noynoy Aquino: 42%
Mar Roxas: 7%
Neither. Iba na lang.: 51%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.





THE WEDDING

18 08 2009

marko wedding Mar & Korina’s Wedding
According to Sen. Mar Roxas and Korina Sanchez, every detail of their October 23 wedding will be documented and shown in a two-hour special on ABS-CBN. The couple is asking for an extra 30 seconds from the network… to document their honeymoon.

Mar & Korina’s Wedding II
Mar Roxas’ cousin Margarita Fores has reportedly drawn up the menu for the wedding dinner. Just to make sure that high-end guests will appreciate the food, Fores consulted Congressmen Danilo Suarez and Ferdinand Martin Romualdez.

marko_2 Mar & Korina’s Wedding III
Reports say Mar and Korina want to hold their wedding at the Sto. Domingo Church in Quezon City. But they also consider holding it at the air-conditioned Manila Cathedral. If there’s no decision yet by October 1, they’ll just divide the whole ceremony into two: the first half happens at the Sto. Domingo Church, and then, with ABS-CBN cameras documenting the event, hold a procession towards Intramuros via Edsa and Ayala ‘til they reach the Manila Cathedral for the second half of the wedding rites. [A shower of confetti along Ayala is optional.]

Mar & Korina’s Wedding IV
Every detail of Mar and Korina’s wedding will be documented and shown on ABS-CBN 2. Three months after the wedding, Star Cinema will start shooting its latest Judy Ann Santos flick inspired by the couple’s story. The movie’s working title: “Kasal, Kampanya, Kandidato.”

Mar & Korina’s Wedding V
A two-hour special on Mar & Korina’s wedding will be shown on ABS-CBN in October. The network is reportedly looking for a host, and everyone in Channel 2 is being considered… except for Karen Davila.

jet Presidential Jet
President Arroyo has reportedly dropped plans to purchase a new presidential jet. When she learned that it would cost 1.2 billion pesos, she told her cabinet and allies in Congress, “That’s a lot of money. Ikain na lang natin!”

Anti-Torture Bill
The congressional bicameral conference committee has approved a reconciled bill criminalizing torture. When the bill is enacted into law, television networks will not be allowed to air Sen. Mar Roxas’ political advertisements.

franc Jamby’s Lawyer
Presidential aspirant Jamby Madrigal’s lawyer Ernesto Francisco Jr. couldn’t hide his excitement over a temporary restraining order issued by the Manila RTC against the advertisements of Health Sec. Francisco Duque. To celebrate his latest victory, Francisco is raffling off, among his staff… 1000 original Jamby bracelets.

Da Who?
Remember our item on a government official who’s been blatantly using his post to advance his political ambition in 2010? This government official approached another network for a guest appearance on a game show. Here’s his idea of that guesting: his “subordinates” will play against one another in one whole episode of the program. When a subordinate is called on the hot seat, Mr. Government Official will serve as his “savior” in case he didn’t know the answer to a particular question. Apparently, the suggested treatment for the game show did not materialize. Do I have to give a clue or do you want to use a lifeline?

Elsewhere…
Columnist Antonio Abaya answers two questions: Why and how did our elders fail?
__________
“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.”
~Anonymous








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