A WHOLE NEW WORLD

15 12 2010


FIFTEEN YEARS after he and six others were imprisoned for the massacre of three Vizconde family members, Hubert Jeffrey Webb, son of former Senator Freddie Webb was acquitted by the Supreme Court Tuesday, December 14. Shortly after his release, one joke that circulated online said Hubert was astonished to learn that 15 years later, Mara Clara is still being shown on TV.

But wait, there’s more. Here goes…

Hubert Webb’s Top 10 Reactions/Questions After He Got Home Following His Release From the New Bilibid Prisons

No. 10: “Whaaaaaaat? Single pa rin si Kris?!”

No. 9: “Does Kabayan ever get tired? He’s been doing TV Patrol for like… forever!”

No. 8: “Can you turn the radio on to Campus Radio please? I wonder what’s the new No. 1 song on Triggerman’s Top 20 at 12.”

No. 7: “Thoss, Peek, Pennisi, Seigle, Norwood, Weinstein, Hatfield, Carey, Dillinger. Geez! Dad, did the PBA change its name to Fil-Am Basketball of the Philippines?”

No. 6: “Sandali! Hindi kita maintindihan Joshua. Again, what’s LOL, LMAO, STFU, BRB and GTG?”

No. 5: “Mom, bakit nakatayo ang mga newscasters?”

No. 4: “Wait lang! You mean, ‘yong interview sa ‘kin kanina ni Ms Mel Tiangco was aired not on ABS-CBN but on GMA 7?

No. 3: “I always hear the name P.Noy? What’s that Pinky? A new cartoon strip like A. Lipin of the Inquirer?”

No. 2: “I don’t get it Jason. Are they insulting me or are they just pulling my leg. Do I really look fashionable? Kasi people keep saying things like, I am a hot trending topic daw. Trend? Jesus, I’ve only sported an orange shirt for the last 15 years. What trend?”

And Hubert Webb’s No. 1 reaction/question when he got home following his release from prison…

“I can’t believe this Fritz! Did Ernie Baron undergo plastic surgery? Seriously! And why the use of a screen name?!? “Kuya Kim?!?” Funny bro!! Ha-ha-ha!
——————————————
From my all-time favorite courtroom drama, The Practice:
Ellenor: Can’t let an innocent man go to jail.
Rebecca: We don’t even let our guilty ones go there.

Alfaro In Hiding?
Jessica Alfaro has reportedly gone into hiding. Rumors say the controversial former NBI agent turned massacre state witness has sent word she’d rather die than surrender. Bakit? Anong akala mo sa sarili mo, senador?

After receiving news that Hubert Webb and six others had been released, Vizconde massacre state witness Jessica Alfaro had reportedly gone into hiding. In order to evade detection and dodge identification, Alfaro has decided not to wear dark glasses.

Hayden Wins
A Pasig City RTC judge has dismissed sexy actress Katrina Halili’s case against Hayden Kho Jr. for “insufficiency of evidence” – a decision that baffled the young actress who asked, “Ano pa bang evidence ang gusto niyang makita? Lahat-lahat, ipinakita ko na!”

Briefly Noted
Presenting: the Metro Manila Development Authority’s Traffic Transport Management Office (TTMO) uniform…

Ano ang sasabihin mo kapag hinuli ka ng traffic enforcer na ito?
A: “Bastos!”
B: “Lagay ba ‘ka mo? TTMO!”
C: “Mr. TTMO… malaki ba? Malaki ba ang babayaran ko dahil sa violation?”
D: “Wait lang sir. Dudukot lang ako ng PPKo (Pera sa Purse Ko)!

[TTMO photo courtesy of Tina Panganiban-Perez]
—————————————————-
“I’m like a shooting star
I’ve come so far
I can’t go back to where I used to be”

~“A Whole New World”
From Walt Disney’s Aladdin

Survey Says
Nakapag-Christmas shopping ka na ba?
- Yup! Done. Ready na sa Pasko! 12.31%
- Hindi pa pero hahabol! Inaayos lang ang budget. 46.25%
- Walang pera. Walang plano. Walang pakialaman ng Pasko! 41.44%

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LABINDALAWANG TULOG NA LANG: the Christmas showdown between Kobe Bryant and the championshipRing-seeking, title-wanting, self-proclaimed “king” LeBron James. Go Lakers!

Enjoy the rest of the week!





JACKPOT

1 12 2010


Lone Winner
According to the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office, a lone bettor has won the P741-M jackpot in the 6/55 Grand Lotto draw Monday night. The winning bet was placed at a lotto outlet inside the Subic Bay Free Port Zone… fueling speculations that Mike Arroyo has relocated to Olongapo City.

A couple of weeks back, while a lot of people prayed to God to win the lottery, Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz declared on radio and TV, “Ipagdarasal ko sa Panginoon na sana ay walang tumama sa Grand Lotto.” Well, guess who got snubbed.

Rizal & Lottery The PCSO says our national hero, Jose Rizal actually won the loteria (Spanish word for lottery) in 1892 while he was on exile in Dapitan, Zamboanga del Norte. Rizal religiously placed bets on the loteria… despite threats from Spanish friars they would pray hard so he wouldn’t win the jackpot.

According to the PCSO, Jose Rizal won P6,200 in a lotto draw in 1892. News of his win spread like wildfire on Facebook, and Rizal’s name became the top trending topic on Twitter.

Top 5 “Dear Lotto Winner’ Statements

No. 5: Dear Lotto Winner: Ang swerte mo! Syet ka!

No. 4: Dear Lotto Winner: Sabi ni Archbishop Oscar Cruz, makabubuti raw na dalhin mo na ang buong pamilya mo abroad. You’ll end up a loser din daw dahil magkakaroon ka ng iba’t ibang problema. Gusto kong malaman ang opinyon mo: bakit kaya sobrang bitter ng paring ito?

No. 3: Dear Lotto Winner: Kung ikaw si Liz Uy, sasagutin mo ba ang presidente? Kung oo, are you nuts? Wala lang.

No. 2: Dear Lotto Winner: Taga-Pampanga ka ‘no!? Aminiiiiiin!

And the No. 1 “Dear Lotto Winner’ statement…

Dear Lotto Winner:
Sana totoo ka.
Sana hindi kami binobola ng PCSO.

This just in! There’s no truth to rumors that the PCSO has released – for the first time in lotto’s history – the photo of the jackpot prize winner. Right click here for the alleged picture of the winner. Again, not true.

Finding Lacson
The Philippine National Police has proposed a P2-million reward for information leading to the arrest of fugitive Senator Panfilo Lacson. To lure informants, a million peso will be added to the total reward money every week.

The PNP wants to put up a P2-million reward for information leading to the arrest of fugitive Senator Panfilo Lacson. However, Lacson’s spiritual adviser Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz is praying that no one gets the reward.

Pulse Asia Survey
According to Pulse Asia, 69 percent of Filipinos support the Reproductive Health bill. Catholic bishops described the figure as scandalous.

The latest survey showed that 7 of 10 Filipinos support the RH bill. The other three were afraid of excommunication.

In the October 20 to 29 Pulse Asia survey, 69 percent of Filipinos expressed support for the Reproductive Health bill while only 7 percent went against it. Catholic Bishops were enraged when they learned that the remaining 24 percent went for Vetellano Acosta.

Results of the latest Pulse Asia survey showed that 69 percent of Filipinos were in favor of the RH bill while a mere 7 percent went against it. The remaining 24 percent, according to Catholic bishops – were in purgatory.

SWS Survey
In the September 24 to 27 survey conducted by the Social Weather Stations, Justice Secretary Leila De Lima got a satisfaction rating of 54 percent. The other 30 percent didn’t give her a rating, while 16 percent were dissatisfied – all of them, APO members.


You know who else feels like a lotto winner these days?
Gerardo Biong, the Parañaque cop convicted in the grisly Vizconde massacre in 1991 was released from prison Tuesday. Before he left his cell, Biong burnt some blankets, bed sheets, clothes, and other pieces of evidence of his incarceration.

De Lima vs. De La Fuente
Justice Secretary Leila De Lima has ordered the indictment of bus operator Claire De La Fuente for failing to remit to the Bureau of Internal Revenue some P148 million in taxes from 1997 to 2004. De La Fuente denied she defrauded the government, and said, “Nagkataon lang na sunud-sunod ang mga years na ‘di kami nakabayad. Pero, hindi sinadya ‘yon.”

ECE Board Exam
At least 15 Electronics and Communications Engineering graduates in the Visayas and Mindanao claimed there had been a leak in the recent board exam in Cebu. The Professional Regulation Commission vowed to investigate the matter even as the Presidential Communications Group denied it was the source of the leak. ———————————
“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
- Woody Allen

Survey Says
Dapat bang limitahan sa PhP500-M ang jackpot sa lotto?
- OO! 19.83%
- HINDI! Hayaang lumaki! 62.47%
- Wala akong pakialam. ‘Di ako tumataya sa lotto 17.7%

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