WHISPERING HOPE

18 05 2010


LP Not Giving Up
In a press conference Monday, the Liberal Party claimed that based on 88 certificates of canvass (81 percent) obtained by the party, Mar Roxas led Jejomar Binay by 137,404 votes. LP stalwarts did not reveal though whose idea was it to publicly give Roxas… false hopes.

During Liberal Party’s press con last Monday, May 17, PAGASA reported that temperature in Metro Manila sizzled at 37.3 degrees Celsius. Now you know why Binay’s lead over Roxas evaporated.

Based on official tally though, Mar Roxas is losing the vice presidential race to Jejomar Binay. Roxas and the Liberal Party are shocked. They couldn’t believe that Binay and even Erap would actually be this strong. In fact, the Binay-Erap tandem has become LP’s second strongest competition… next only to the tandem of Conrado De Quiros and William Esposo.


Questions and Answers
Q1: “Senator, hindi ba kayo naaawa kay Governor Salceda? Sunog na sunog na eh.”
A1: “Sus! ‘Di naman halata. Hayaan na natin. ‘Tsaka, nag-sunblock lotion ‘yan kanina.”

Q2: “Senator, bakit kayong lahat naka-yellow pero ‘yung mama sa likuran naka-blue?”
A2: “Naku! Hayaan mo na siya. Basta ang iboboto ng pamilya namin, ‘yung laging naka-dilaw!”

Q3: “Meron po bang ‘B?’”
A3: “Alam mo, taga-IBC 13 ka na nga lang, ikaw pa ang malakas mang-intriga! Next question pls!”

Q4: “Senator, kung mananalo po kayo at matatalo si Mar Roxas… why not?”
A4: “Lokohan na ‘to! Tama na! Aalis na kami.”

Vocal Local
In Quezon City: Actress and defeated vice mayoral candidate Aiko Melendez is reportedly filing a petition before the Comelec against what her camp alleged were “preprogrammed” PCOS machines. A shocked Melendez claimed she got zero votes in her bailiwicks… something that if proven true will finally disprove the popular notion that many Quezon City residents are idiots.

In Manila: After being trounced by incumbent mayor Alfredo Lim in the May 10 polls, mayoral candidate Lito Atienza filed an election protest claiming that some PCOS machines may have been “preprogrammed” to make Lim win even in some known Atienza bailiwicks. Asked if he took the cue from Quezon City’s Aiko Melendez, Atienza replied, “Definitely not! I can spell ‘bailiwick.’”

Accompanied by his loyal supporters, defeated mayoral candidate Lito Atienza went to the local Comelec office Monday and filed an electoral protest. But tension rose outside the office when Kuya Kim Atienza suddenly appeared, and told his dad’s supporters, “Maaaadlang pipol…. vote mo, show mo!”

In Quezon Province: Outgoing Governor Rafael Nantes was killed when his private chopper crashed in Lucena City Monday. Supporters of the defeated re-electionist were quick to deny rumors that the chopper crashed because of“shipment” overload.

Remember Rafael Nantes? The former congressman and outgoing Quezon governor who had been linked to the illegal drug trade was killed in a plane crash Monday. Probers are now checking on reports that Nantes’ private pilot was flying ‘high.’

And finally, in my home province of Batangas: Actress Vilma Santos was re-elected governor… making her the first gubernatorial candidate to win against a corpse.

Kris Stays
Amid calls for her to fulfill a promise, incoming presidential sister Kris Aquino announced Sunday that she’s not leaving the country… disappointing the 22,000plus members of the Facebook group, ‘Kris Aquino’s Despedida,‘ her brother’s critics, and James Yap.

————————-
“Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.”
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Briefly Noted
Did you read Conrado De Quiros’ two-part column “about” and “against” the Hyatt 10, The Firm, and Mar Roxas diehards in the Liberal Party? Geez, these people must be debating among themselves now: who should draft the rejoinder? Will there be a Korina Sanchez vs. Conrado De Quiros Part 2? Abangan!

Survey Says
Sino ang dapat sisihin sakaling matalo si Sen. Mar Roxas?
Ang ‘Team Noy-Bi’ sa Liberal Party 27%
S’ya mismo at ang mga campaign strategists niya! 46%
Wala. It’s his fate to lose. 27%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
My sincerest apologies to Mark Tare of the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism. His group requested for an interview prior to Election Day but due to a tight sked, I failed to grant their request. Anyway, here’s PCIJ’s online article on political humor: Joke the vote, pun the bets

More Personal
My LA Lakers massacred Los Suns in Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals. Kobe Bryant dropped 40. Wohoo!





STAR(FRUIT) FOR ALL SEASONS

15 04 2010

IT’S THE DAY’s BIGGEST NEWS.
Albay Governor Joey Salceda who called an emergency caucus of Lakas governors at Discovery Suites in Pasig City last April 6 to conduct a loyalty check on Lakas members has bolted the ruling coalition! Apparently, Salceda got so busy checking out his party mates’ loyalty; he totally forgot to check out his.

Just so you know, Noynoy Aquino and Joey Salceda were classmates at the Ateneo de Manila University from the late ‘70s to the early ‘80s… or as their flirty female classmates would say, “unlucky years.”

Joey Salceda revealed that he and Noynoy Aquino were seatmates in the English class in Ateneo. They were not that close then although one time they plagiarized some compositions together.

According to Albay Governor Joey Salceda, Noynoy Aquino was his seatmate in the English class in Ateneo some 30 years back. Salceda will never ever forget the young Noynoy… mainly because he was the only one who owned a lighter then.

Albay Governor Joey Salceda who called an emergency caucus of Lakas governors at Discovery Suites in Pasig City last April 6 to conduct a loyalty check on Lakas members has bolted the ruling coalition! It was like Dinky Soliman leading the Arroyo cabinet in singing “If We Hold On (Together),” and then calling for her president’s ouster the succeeding week.

After calling on his party mates to rally behind Gilbert Teodoro, Albay Governor Joey Salceda has bolted the party and announced his support for Noynoy Aquino. Lakas stalwarts were reportedly shocked by Salceda’s announcement because they expected him to support Danton Remoto’s “Ang Ladlad” instead.

Bugtong:
Higit sa isa ang mukha
May payat at may mataba
Berde kung hilaw
kapag hinog ay dilaw.
Ano ito?
Sagot: Balimbing (or Starfruit; Averrhoa carambola)

At ilan sa mga kilalang berde na pilit nahinog nitong mga nakaraang buwan ay ang mga balimbing sa larawan. Nasa inyo na ang pagpapasya kung sila ay inyong pipitasin sa darating na halalan.

Bawat isa sa kanila ay may ibinigay na dahilan kung bakit nila iniwan ang kanilang partido. Natatandaan mo pa ba kung ano ang kanilang “excuse?” Alamin sa pamamagitan ng pagsagot sa pagsusulit na ito.

Panuto: Isilid sa isang hinog na balimbing o ponkan (depende sa partidong nilipatan) ang titik ng tamang sagot. Tandaan: gumamit ng hinog na balimbing o ponkan lamang: bawal ang hilaw at bawal ang manibalang. Narito ang halimbawa ng tamang pagmamarka sa napiling sagot:

May sampung minuto ka upang sagutin ang tanong: Bakit nga ba sila lumipat?

1: Dating NEDA Director General Ralph Recto:
A: “Natalo na ‘ko noong 2007, ayokong matalo uli ngayon. Masakit sa bulsa. ‘Di pa nga ako nakakabawi eh!”
B: “I think you have a good team in the LP under the leadership of Senator Noynoy and Senator Mar.”
C: “’Package deal’ kasi. Nang alukin ng Liberal si Vi, siyempre damay na ko. What is marriage for?”
D: “Hindi ko kailangang mag-explain sa ‘yo. Ano ka, si Serge Osmeña? Kung ‘di mo ako kayang tanggapin, umalis ka!”

2: Former Ilocos Sur Governor Luis ‘Chavit’ Singson:
A: “Si Erap nga na parang kapatid ko na, tinraydor ko pa. Si Gilbert Teodoro pa kaya na ‘di ko man lang nakainuman o nakasama sa casino?”
B: “Kung kanino si Manny Pacquiao, doon ako.”
C: “Mas matagal na kasi sa politics si Villar. Mas marami siyang kilala. ‘Tsaka siya ang gusto ng mga kababayan ko. Sino ba ko para sumalungat sa kanila?”
D: “God knows Hudas not stay!”

3: Mandaluyong City Rep. Neptali Gonzales III
A: “Dating back to the ‘60s, our relationship with the Aquinos and the Roxases is something na hindi ko puwedeng talikuran.”
B: “Ang tagal ng pondo. Nainip na ‘ko.”
C: “Hinintay ko lang ang latest survey at tiniyak kong lamang pa rin si Noynoy para sure.”
D: “Bakit ba kayo nakikialam? Taga-Mandaluyong ba kayo?!?”


4: Albay Governor Joey Salceda
A: “Deep in my heart, hindi ko kayang ikampanya ang isang La Sallista. Bali-baligtarin man ang mundo, kahit ano pang mangyari, halata man o hindi, Atenista pa rin ako.”
B: “Titigan n’yo ang picture sa ‘taas. Kuha ‘yan nang samahan ako ni Gibô sa pagpa-file ng aking certificate of candidacy. Napilitan lang akong mag-smile d’yan!”
C: “I accepted the challenge of my Ateneo classmate Noynoy to become the Bicol regional chairman of the Liberal Party. My task is to make him win in Bicol on May 10.”
D: “Matagal na akong nagtitiis bilang berdeng caterpillar. Panahon na upang iwagayway ang aking mga dilaw na pakpak bilang paru-paro! To paraphrase Ricky Martin, ‘I am a fortunate butterfly!’ Promise!”

5: Quezon City Mayor Feliciano Belmonte
A: “Kung mananatili ako sa Lakas, hindi ako magiging House Speaker. Career move ‘to.”
B: “Enlightened, dependable, trustworthy and morally upright: All of these qualities of Cory, I see in our new champion, Sen. Noynoy Aquino.”
C: “Naunang lumipat ang anak kong si Joy eh. Tatay lang ako. Kung saan siya masaya, suportahan ko siya.”
D: “Noynoy and I have a lot of things in common. Single ako, single siya. Umuulan ng celebrities sa aking siyudad; bumabaha ng celebrities sa kanyang ad.”

6: Surigao Del Norte Governor Robert Ace Barbers
A: “Wala lang. Trip ko lang.”
B: “Ang Nacionalista kasi ang susunod na pinakamalaking political party after the 2010 elections.”
C: “Pati ba naman taong nananahimik dito sa Surigao, napansin pa ng punyetang Professional Heckler na ‘yan? Baka gusto niyang matulad siya kay Mike Enriquez?!? ”
D: “Puwede bang kantahin ko na lang? 1-2-3! Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap/ Si Villar ang tunay na may malasakit!”

7: House Speaker Prospero Nograles
A: “Even as a senior officer of the party, I hardly know what’s happening because they make decisions without the courtesy of even briefing us. I don’t even get any text saying hi or hello from our party standard-bearer.”
B: “Delikado kasi ‘yung mayoral bid ko sa Davao. ‘Yung Duterte Death Squad, este Duterte family, suportado ni Noynoy. Kailangan ko ng mas malakas na backer like Villar.”
C: “Lilinawin ko lang! Hindi totoong iiwan ko ang partido! Hindi totoong ako ay balimbing! At hindi totoong tumakbo ako nang nakahubad sa isang hotel! Damn it! Kailangan ko pa bang ulit-ulitin ‘yan?”
D: “Who says I’m leaving Lakas? Puwede ko namang ikampanya nang palihim si Villar kahit ‘di ako Nacionalista ah. Si Presidente nga kinakaya… ako pa?!”

8: Bukidnon Governor Jose Ma. Zubiri
A: “Nagpasya akong lumipat kay Villar dahil… hindi ko sure kung mag-o-offer si Noynoy.”
B: “Memoryado ng aking mga apo ang “dagat ng basura” ad ni Villar. Mahal ko ang aking mga apo. Mahal nila si Villar. Mahal ko na rin siya.”
C:I cannot stomach Lakas’ alliance with Kampi.”
D: “Napagkasunduan namin ‘yan ng aking mga anak. Sina Migs, mananatili sa Lakas; ako naman, sa Nacionalista. Mas maraming partido, mas maraming pondo.”

9. Batangas Governor Vilma Santos
A: “Akala n’yo ba walang matibay na dahilan ang aking paglipat? Akala n’yo lang, wala! Pero meron! Meron!”
B: “Katulad po ng sinabi ni Ralph sa question No. 1 sa taas… masakit matalo. Malaki-laki rin ang nawala sa amin sa kampanya noong 2007. Ayaw na naming maulit ‘yon.”
C: “I think Noynoy can give us that inspiration because of the inspiration instilled to us by his parents.”
D: “Bakit ako lumipat sa Liberal Party? Hmmm, alam n’yo po, matagal kong pinag-isipan ‘yang desisyon na ‘yan. I prayed hard for guidance. Hindi po madali sa akin ang iwan ang Lakas. Pero isa lang po ang tinitiyak ko sa aking mga kababayan sa Batangas: matagal kong pinag-isipan ang desisyon kong ito and I really prayed hard for guidance. Dahil sa totoo lang, hindi po madaling iwan ang Lakas. Thank you!”
—————————-
“Unless you can find some sort of loyalty, you cannot find unity and peace in your active living.”
~Josiah Royce

Survey Says
Ayon sa ABS-CBN: “Mula sa Nacionalista Party ang pekeng ‘psychiatric report’ ni Noynoy.” Ang sagot ng Nacionalista Party: “Sino sa amin? ‘Di totoo ‘yan!”
Ang tanong: dapat bang ibunyag ng ABS-CBN ang source nila sa NP?
Ang resulta ng survey:
DAPAT LANG! 70%
HINDI NA KAILANGAN! 25%
HINDI KO ALAM ANG ISYU. 4%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Trivia:The 1955 Academy Award-winning film Oklahoma! was shot entirely in Arizona because producers believed that Arizona looked more like Oklahoma than Oklahoma did!

Sa nangyayaring exodus ng Lakas members sa Liberal Party at Nacionalista Party, hindi na ako magtataka kung ang LP at NP ay mas mag-asal-Lakas kaysa sa orihinal na Lakas pagkatapos ng eleksyon. Good luck sa ating lahat!





RACE ROUNDUP

4 12 2009

IN DECLARING her bid for a Congressional seat in Pampanga, President Arroyo said, “Public service is emblazoned on my DNA.” Geneticists who were monitoring the announcement on TV almost believed Mrs. Arroyo’s claim about the quality of her DNA… until they saw Mikey Arroyo.

Contrary to initial reports, President Arroyo is running against three opponents in next year’s elections. They were identified as… Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao.

A day after Joseph Estrada filed his certificate of candidacy, former congressman Mark Jimenez filed his own CoC. Two ex-convicts are now running for president. Welcome to the Philippines!

Sen. Richard Gordon has joined his nephew, Olongapo City Councilor John Carlos “JC” Gordon De Los Reyes in the presidential derby. With neither uncle nor nephew expected to give way, observers predict a very tight race… for fifth place.

Former MMDA chairman Bayani Fernando, who has been very vocal about his presidential ambitions has decided to run for vice president instead. He is now seeking the endorsement of the Pink Sisters.

Joseph Estrada reportedly got pissed when Nacionalista Party’s Manuel Villar Jr. used his trademark “orange” as official campaign color. This prompted Estrada’s advisers to adopt ‘tangerine’ instead as their new color – a move that further incensed the former president who found it hard to spell ‘tangerine.’

Reelectionist senator Ramon “Bong” Revilla Jr. of Lakas-Kampi-CMD is a guest candidate of at least four other political parties: Partido ng Masang Pilipino, Nationalist People’s Coalition, Nacionalista Party, and Laban ng Demokratikong Pilipino. But that was nothing compared to Sen. Mar Roxas who used to be a guest on at least five: Wowowee, A.S.A.P., The Buzz, SNN, and Rated K.

While other presidentiables filed their certificates of candidacy with throngs of supporters, nobody (not even her husband) accompanied Sen. Jamby Madrigal when she filed her CoC. Jamby was a ‘one-man team.’

Former senator and Dangerous Drugs Board chairman Vicente “Tito” Sotto III will run for senator under the banner of the Nationalist People’s Coalition. He is also a guest candidate… on Eat Bulaga – daily.

The ruling Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party announced Tuesday that lawyer Raul Lambino would be one of its senatorial candidates in the 2010 polls. Two days later though, he was dropped from the slate after he tried to change the party’s charter.

The Commission on Elections has announced that it has discovered a simple but sure way of determining the precise number of morons in the country through next year’s elections. Thanks to the re-election bid of Sen. Lito Lapid.

Ateneo De Manila University professor Danton Remoto will run for senator as an independent candidate. He is open to alliances though but as to which party, he doesn’t know yet. He’s confused.

Television reporter Alex Tinsay is running for senator under Bro. Eddie Villanueva’s ticket. Tinsay, a veteran reporter on GMA 7 has opted to quit his career in broadcast journalism… after getting tired of pretending he’s got one.

According to Comelec, 75 percent of those who filed for national posts were not serious. To illustrate: say, you have Jamby, Erap, Ely Pamatong, and Mark Jimenez… remove the 75 percent and you’re left with Ely Pamatong.

THIS JUST IN!
The latest Pulse Asia survey showed that 43 percent of respondents would “surely not vote for” a presidential candidate endorsed by President Arroyo. Asked if he’d still seek GMA’s endorsement, Gilbert Teodoro said, “Sino ‘yon?”

In Local Politics…
Incumbent Batangas governor, Vilma Santos is seeking re-election. Her husband, former senator Ralph Recto is seeking redemption.

Former First Lady Imelda Marcos is making a political comeback. She just filed her certificate of candidacy for representative of Ilocos Norte’s second district. Her campaign slogan? “The shoe must go on.”

President Arroyo’s staunch ally, Mrs. Lilia Pineda will try her luck again in Pampanga’s gubernatorial race against re-electionist priest-on-leave Among Ed Panlilio. Asked about her chances of winning, a very confident Pineda answered, “Katorse/sais! Tumbok ng otsenta/sahod ng beinte.”

Former Presidential Chief of Staff Mike Defensor is running for mayor of Quezon City against outgoing vice mayor Herbert Bautista. Herbert is keeping the location of his headquarters a secret for fear that Defensor will conduct a raid to “rescue” the actor’s supporters.

Jejomar Erwin “Junjun” Binay Jr., son of outgoing Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay is running for mayor in 2010 – a move that surprised Makati voters who thought that the Binay family [rulers of the city for 23 years now] would endorse their very loyal vice mayor Nestor Mercado for the post. Asked why he refused to give way to Mercado, Junjun Binay said, “because public service is emblazoned on my DNA, too.”

For the first time in the history of Makati City and perhaps, the country’s local politics, the two frontrunners in the mayoral race are both black.

Still in Makati, Cong. Teddyboy Locsin and former congressman Butz Aquino have severed ties with Mayor Jejomar Binay. The Binay family’s control of Makati is now down to 98 percent.

The People’s Champ, Manny Pacquiao made true his promise (or threat) to file his CoC for representative of the lone district of Sarangani Province. To articulate his vision for the province, Pacman has named an official spokesperson: Michael Buffer. [Altogether now: Leeet’s get ready to rumble!]

And finally, Aiko Melendez, Roderick Paulate, Ara Mina, Alfred Vargas, Arnell Ignacio, Isko Moreno, Daisy Reyes, Lani Mercado, Rico J. Puno, Jestoni Alarcon, Cesar Montano, Richard Gomez, Anjo Yllana, Joey Marquez, Alma Moreno, Gian Sotto, Dan Fernandez, Marjorie Barretto, and Jigo Garcia all filed their CoCs for various posts in next year’s elections. The number of celebrities who came out last Tuesday was so huge, Comelec officials thought Noynoy Aquino was shooting another TV ad.
_________
“An election cannot give a country a firm sense of direction if it has two or more national parties which merely have different names but are as alike in their principles and aims as two peas in the same pod.”
~Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Postcript: Sa gitna ng piyesta at karnabal na nagaganap ngayon sa bansa dahil sa eleksyon, ang tanong ng bayan: meron pa ba tayong bise-presidente? Please lang po. Sakaling may impormasyon kayo hinggil sa taong nasa larawan, ipagbigay-alam lamang sa pinakamalapit na presinto. Marami pong salamat.

Survey Says
Your take on President Arroyo’s decision to seek a Congressional seat in Pampanga:
It’s her right. Hayaan na natin. :15%
Immunity from suit ang habol niya! 67%
Who cares, Care Bears? 18%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

I’ve Got Mail!
From Philippine Star columnist Billy Esposo:
US Ambassador Kristie Kenney: “After several years, our people recovered from 9/11.
I pray that the Filipino people will soon recover from the 4’11.”

Have a great weekend!





SENTIMENTS

26 09 2009

OFWsgma GMA Is Back
After a three-nation tour, President Arroyo arrived home Thursday with some 121 distressed overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) who were stranded in Saudi Arabia. Photos of the president with the repatriated OFWs saw print in several newspapers Friday… prompting presidential aspirant Manuel Villar to accuse Mrs. Arroyo of shamelessly copying his signature stunt.

Solons for Noynoy?
Cebu Rep Antonio Cuenco, a Lakas-Kampi stalwart claimed that based on an informal survey, half of the members of the Lower House preferred Sen. Noynoy Aquino. This just in! An informal survey among Lakas-Kampi members showed that half of them wanted to kick Cuenco out of the party.

Solons for Noynoy? II
Cebu Rep. Antonio Cuenco who conducted an informal survey that showed half of the members of the Lower House preferred Noynoy Aquino claimed that only pork barrel considerations were keeping other congressmen from openly supporting a non-administration candidate. A check on House records showed, Cuenco has received his allocation in full.

ebdane Ebdane for President, Too
Did you hear the news? Aside from cabinet members Bayani Fernando and Gilbert Teodoro, Public Works and Highways Secretary Hermogenes Ebdane Jr. has also declared his intention to run for president in 2010! In bigger news, an informal survey among Cabinet members showed that half of them actually wanted to run for president!

danton Ang Ladlad in the House
Ateneo professor Danton Remoto, chairman of Ang Ladlad, the gay advocacy organization seeking accreditation from the Comelec as a party-list group, says his group aims to provide lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders a legal representation in Congress. Rumors say Ang Ladlad wouldn’t be this too keen on making it to Congress if only Jules Ledesma were doing his job.

Ang Ladlad in the House II
Prof. Danton Remoto says Ang Ladlad has a nationwide gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender membership of 22,000. Of this figure, 21,999 are ordinary, marginalized people while 1 is a senator.

vilma-sarah Pichay on Ate Vi
Defeated 2007 senatorial candidate and Lakas CMD vice president Prospero Pichay says Batangas governor Vilma Santos is the Philippine version of former Alaska governor and Republican vice presidential bet Sarah Palin. They’re both beautiful, they’re both popular, and they’re both married to losers.

Pichay on Ate Vi II
Lakas CMD vice president Prospero Pichay says Batangas governor Vilma Santos is the Philippine version of Sarah Palin “but with substance.” Santos is reportedly flattered by the comparison but vehemently denies that she is into drugs.

lanib Congresswoman Lani
Sen. Bong Revilla’s wife, actress Lani Mercado, a defeated mayoral candidate in Bacoor, Cavite in 2004, will run for a seat in Congress next year. A number of Cavite residents have asked the Commission on Human Rights to investigate reports that torture has been legalized in the province.

Survey Says
If elections were held today, your choice for president will be. The final results with exact figures (10:49AM, Saturday):
Noynoy Aquino: 476 votes / 37.39%
Manny Villar: 473 votes / 37.15 %
Gilbert Teodoro: 121 votes / 9.50%
None of the Above: 106 votes / 8.32%
Chiz Escudero: 97 / 7.61%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
ThankS to the 2009 Philippine Blog Awards. As I have been telling my Facebook friends, I am not expecting to win but I’ll be very happy if my co-finalists in the Humor category would all lose. Here’s the complete list of finalists.





DOING A JOLIE

28 09 2008

Loren’s Offer to the MILF
Reacting to the Moro Islamic Liberation Front’s appeal to Hollywood actress and UN goodwill ambassadress Angelina Jolie to help negotiate a peace pact with the government, Sen. Loren Legarda said she is willing to fill in for Jolie and help achieve a long-sought peace in the south… an offer rejected by some MILF leaders who said, “How can she help achieve peace in Mindanao when she can’t even help achieve peace at the Senate?”

Loren’s Offer to the MILF II
Sen. Loren Legarda said she’s willing to fill in for UN goodwill ambassadress Angelina Jolie to help achieve peace in Mindanao… an offer rejected by some MILF leaders who said, “How can she talk peace with the government when she couldn’t even talk peace with her husband?”

Loren’s Offer to the MILF III
Sen. Loren Legarda said she is willing to become this country’s Angelina Jolie to help achieve peace in Mindanao. To prove that she’s indeed serious with her offer, she’ll have her lips injected with collagen soon.

Loren’s Offer to the MILF IV
Sen. Loren Legarda said, “I will agree to be like Angelina Jolie but there will be no Brad Pitt,” to which Sen. Edgardo Angara said, “But I told you, I can try!”

MILF Survey Says…
An online survey conducted by the Moro Islamic Liberation Front revealed that North Cotabato Vice Governor Emmanuel Piñol, is the most hated government official by Muslims in the country today. A vocal critic of the canceled MOA on Ancestral Domain, Piñol is also the most hated government official… by the Arroyo government.

MILF Survey Says… II
President Arroyo is the second most hated government official by Muslims according to the online survey conducted by the MILF. Malacañang described the poll results as “unusual” mainly because “hate” lists are usually topped by the president.

GMA is Back null
President Arroyo is back from her five-day visit to the United States but reports say without the “promised investments.” That’s because instead of “selling” the Philippine economy, she sold Miriam Defensor-Santiago.

Vilma Santos and Lani Mercado null
Newsbreak magazine reported that Batangas governor Vilma Santos was being marketed as RP’s Sarah Palin, the Alaska governor and US vice presidential candidate. Now hear this: in last Wednesday’s birthday party of Sen. Bong Revilla, Lani Mercado invited Bong’s “other women” – Rufa Mae Quinto, Ruffa Gutierrez, and Gretchen Barretto. First we have our Sarah Palin, now we have our Hillary Clinton.

BFAD Ban null
The Bureau of Food and Drugs has banned at least 54 milk and milk-based products from mainland China, which the agency said, would be subject to testing for possible melamine contamination. The partial list includes Nestle ice cream, ice cream cones, chocolates, and even noodles. Sharon Cuneta described the ban as “unfairly cruel.”

UAAP Finals: A Postscript
The Ateneo Blue Eagles trounced the De La Salle Green Archers to win the UAAP men’s basketball title. After the heartbreaking loss, La Salle coach Franz Pumaren described Game 2 of the UAAP Finals as the “worst officiated” game ever. In another news dismissed by Pumaren as totally irrelevant, his kids have admitted that their dad loves to read them his favorite bedtime story of late: the Aesop fable “The Fox and the Grapes.”

null Metro Tremors null
Two “moderately strong” earthquakes rocked Metro Manila before noon yesterday. Phivolcs has refused to put the blame on actress Nadia Montenegro and Rose Flaminiano who reportedly squared off the exact time the tremors were felt.








Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 115,500 other followers

%d bloggers like this: