EARTH DAY 2012

THE 42ND EARTH DAY was observed worldwide on April 22, 2012. In the Philippines, prominent Filipinos and organizations joined the celebration.

1: First, let me tell you that this global warming/climate change thing is not a myth. If you’re still not convinced, please be informed that this morning, Vicki Belo’s face allegedly started to melt. We should be alarmed.

2: Yesterday, Communist Party of the Philippines founding chairman Jose Maria Sison slammed Communist China over its “imperialist” stance on Scarborough Shoal. I told you. Climate change is real!

3: Oh, it’s Earth Day! Happy birthday to retired Justice Serafin Cuevas and Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile!

4: In observance of this annual event, Cuevas and Enrile vowed to never use disposable diapers again.

5: To celebrate Earth Day, SM Baguio cut down 10 pine trees only instead of 200 as originally planned.

6: People are now talking about the possibility of a strong earthquake in the Philippines. In fact, the US Geological Survey has recorded several mild tremors in the country. The earth is moving! Supposedly, this movement is the reason why Aga Muhlach is suddenly a resident of Bicol and Joseph Estrada of Manila.

7: A list of “anti-environment” personalities was made public for the first time today. Topping the list were Vicky Belo and Manny Calayan who were accused of turning celebrities into ‘plastics.’

8: The prosecution panel in the Corona impeachment trial made a pledge on Earth Day. They’ll continue to dig up dirt on the Chief Justice.

9: Senator Kiko Pangilinan’s wife, Sharon Cuneta admits she can only do so much for Mother Earth. She promises to choose among these three environmental activities: Reduce, Reuse or Recycle. Guess what she picked. #AlamNa

10: Rumors say even President Aquino and Grace Lee observed Earth Day. To save energy, they didn’t speak to each other.

11: The lowest temperature ever recorded at the surface of the Earth was −89.2 °C at the Soviet Vostok Station in Antarctica on July 21, 1983. Wow! That was really cold! The second coldest was recorded between Noynoy and Corona just recently.

12: And finally, In an effort to preserve clean air, Annabelle Rama and Cristine Reyes opted to keep quiet on Earth Day.

Save our planet!
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“Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money.”
~ Cree Indian Proverb

Mother Earth, when will you introduce us to Father Earth?

Have a great week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

TRAFFIC & MORE LIGHT BULB JOKES

CNNGo.Com named Manila as the world’s third worst city for driving. That is totally unfair. Manila should have at least placed second.

MMDA chairman Francis Tolentino doubted CNN’s report and questioned its basis. CNN immediately issued a rejoinder saying it respects Tolentino’s in denial stance on the matter.

(Not So) Panatag Shoal
Are you monitoring the news on Scarborough Shoal? China has been sending its state of the art vessels in the disputed sandbar. Meanwhile, the government sent the 47-year-old BRP Gregorio Del Pilar and the M/Y Saranggani, a Philippine archaeological vessel. And then something awkward happened. The Philippines was compelled to pull out BRP Gregorio Del Pilar because the Chinese mistook it for an artifact.

Savings
The first Consumer Finance Survey conducted by the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas revealed 78.5 percent of Filipino families do not have bank deposits.The rest were politicians.

Court Order
SM Baguio refused to accept a court order that sought to stop the uprooting of trees in Luneta Hill where SM intends to build a parking lot. BREAKING: SM Baguio is reportedly changing its name to “Leila De Lima Mall.”

Erap is 75
Happy birthday to former president Joseph Estrada who turned 75 on April 19. Joseph Estrada: Today… a name; tomorrow… a Manila resident.

Reports say former President Joseph Estrada, a resident and former mayor of San Juan will run for mayor of Manila. And Arnold Clavio was like, “Hindi ka naman taga-Maynila eh. Nagkukunwari ka lang Manileño!”

Nora vs. Vilma
Bacolod Rep. Anthony Golez proposed that Nora Aunor be declared a National Artist. Quezon Rep. Erin Tañada proposed that Vilma Santos be declared a National Artist too. The public proposed that these congressmen attend to more important matters.

Robinsons Robbery
One of the two suspects in the Robinsons Galleria mall robbery last March 28 was arrested in Iloilo. He was immediately brought to Manila where he was positively identified by one of the witnesses, the “snake.”

Let There Be Light (2012) II
Q: How many Juan Miguel Zubiris does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But he will quit before the job is done.

Q: How many Loren Legardas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to blame global warming for the short bulb life.

Q: How many Leila De Limas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change it, one to file a complaint against the manufacturer of the old bulb, and one to issue a hold departure against the same manufacturer. (Wait, there’s a fourth one: to hold a press conference and update the media on the case.)

Q: How many Greenpeace members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to recycle the burnt bulb.

Q: How many Felipe L. Gozons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one… but at the right price.

Q: How many Manny V. Pangilinans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. He’ll pay someone to do it for him.

Q: How many presidential spokespersons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it and another to tweet about a job well done.

Q: How many lawyers from ‘The Firm’ (Villaraza Cruz Marcelo & Angangco) does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Depends. How many can you afford?

Q: How many Joseph Estradas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it, and three to shout, “Mabuhay si Presidente Erap!”

Q: How many Hayden Kho Jrs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another to secretly videotape what’s happening.

Q: How many Lito Lapids does it take to change a light bulb?
A:

Q: How many Lito Lapids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: “What’s a light bulb?”

Q: How many Tourism secretaries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s more fun in the dark!
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“Life is too short for traffic.”
~ Dan Bellack

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.