JUAN DAY IN YOUR LIFE

21 10 2010

THIS JUST IN!
Reports say Afghanistan and Iraq are the second and third most dangerous places for OFWs today. Topping the list is Gulf Air GF Flight 154.

Typhoon Juan: The Aftermath
President Aquino is very pleased that the government has survived the strongest typhoon to hit the world this year. Sayang! Hindi umabot sa First 100 Days!

Reports say President Aquino is very pleased with how government agencies responded to the latest disaster. Because of the government’s preparedness, risks were mitigated, loss of life was minimized, and media attention was diverted from Rico E. Puno.

In his official statement released Tuesday, the President said, “The thorough preparations of all concerned agencies are in marked contrast to the official helplessness of the past.” And Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was like, “Ako! Ako! Lagi na lang ako!”

President Aquino is pleased that the Philippines survived this latest disaster. In fact, Typhoon Juan was the second strongest storm that the country has experienced this year… next only to the Manila hostage crisis.


President Aquino has praised PAGASA for its accurate and timely forecasts. To give you an idea of how ‘timely’ PAGASA has become, Donald Tsang just called. He thanked President Aquino for PAGASA’s advance forecast for Hong Kong.

Here’s the bad news: PAGASA revealed yesterday that another cyclone is developing over the Pacific Ocean and will likely take the same path as that of typhoon Juan: tuwid na daan patungong Northern Luzon. Shoot!

Typhoon Juan has left the Philippines. The ‘super typhoon” was here for like 96 hours…. the same amount of time it takes DepEd officials, PAGASA forecasters, and news reporters to finish saying the acronym for National Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Council. [Altogether now: N-D-R-R-M-C!]

Anti-Aquino Group
Have you heard the news about this anti-Aquino group that calls itself S4? When I first heard the name, I was like, “Oh, no. Not another K-Pop group please!”

Insisting that the May 10, 2010 election was “unconstitutional” because a foreign corporation (Smartmatic) administered it, the anti-Aquino group S4 has declared all elective positions vacant. Now we know what the ‘S’ in S4 stands for. Sick.

Locating Lacson
According to Justice Secretary Leila De Lima, the government’s failure to locate fugitive senator Panfilo Lacson has embarrassed her. When Interior Undersecretary Rico E. Puno heard this, he asked, “What’s embarrass?”

Allies of fugitive lawmaker Panfilo Lacson say the senator refuses to surrender because he hates the very idea of being in handcuffs… unless of course he’ll be allowed to bring with him his nail file.

Deles and Dimaporo
Secretary Teresita “Ging” Deles is still at odds with Lanao del Norte Rep. Fatima Aliah Dimaporo. The Presidential Adviser for the Peace Process is at war.

Caparas Charged!
The Bureau of Internal Revenue has filed 64 counts of tax evasion against controversial National Artist Carlo J. Caparas. When Caparas heard the news, he blurted out, “God, why me?!”


Oldest Galaxy
Astronomers claim they have found the oldest galaxy in the universe. It was also the favorite star of Senator Enrile when he was a kid.

The President’s Lovelife
Presidential Communications Group Secretary Ricky Carandang says President Aquino “can date not just once a month” because he’s single. I so agree with Ricky. In fact, if the President wants to be the next Dolphy… go ahead! As Senator Enrile would say, “Gusto ko, happy ka!”
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“There are two big forces at work, external and internal. We have very little control over external forces such as tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, disasters, illness and pain. What really matters is the internal force. How do I respond to those disasters? “
— Leo Buscaglia

Survey Says
Pabor ba kayo sa “conditional cash transfer program” ng gobyerno kung saan P21.9-billion ang ipapamahagi sa pinakamahihirap na Pilipino?
– OO. Bahala na sila sa matatanggap nilang cash. 6.57%
– HINDI! Hanapbuhay ang ibigay, hindi limos. 89.04%
– Honestly, hindi ko alam ang isyu. 4.38%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Briefly Noted
Ano ang kulang sa unang linya ng teksto ng poster na ito?

Kung isasalin sa Ingles: ‘Books are read. Not read.’
Yikes!
Oo. Gano’n ang magiging salin nito dahil hindi gumamit ng tuldik o diacritical mark na circumflex o pakupyâ ang artist.

“Ang libro ay binabasa. Hindi binabasa.”
Ang una ay malumay. Ang pangalawa ay maragsa.
Dahil wala ang angkop na tuldik [^], wala tuloy pagkakaiba ang bigkas sa dalawang salita.
Ito ang dapat nakasulat: “Ang libro ay binabasa. Hindi binabasâ.”

Sana ako ay tamà. Ha-ha.

Enjoy the rest of the week!

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