MACHO, METEOR, MURDER

16 02 2013

THE SEASON OF LENT officially started last February 13, Ash Wednesday. Some people are giving up something for Lent. For example, a friend is giving up meat… while Senators Miriam Defensor-Santiago and Panfilo Lacson are giving up ‘peace.’

ml
Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago threatened to expose Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s “sexuality.” But Lacson fired back. Using strong words like “lunatic” and “insanity,” he defended his sexuality saying, “Kung ako bakla, baka wala nang macho sa mundo.” And those guys in the gym were like, “Hindi rin!”

Reacting to Senator Santiago’s “lunatic” insinuation that he’s gay, Sen. Panfilo Lacson said, “I am not gay and I don’t intend to be one.” To which former Senator John Osmeña said, “Harsh!”

According to Senator Lacson, Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago spent a portion of her pork barrel to erect a cockpit in Pasig City. Santiago reacted and questioned Lacson’s interest in her cockpit.

Interviewed by Rappler, senatorial candidate Jamby Madrigal said, “I can feel what Senator Lacson is feeling.” Hashtag ‘Yun na ‘Yun!

A defeated presidential candidate in 2010, Jamby Madrigal says gender is “a non-issue” but admits “There were some not exactly masculine senators way, way in the past.” And former Senate President Maceda said, “O, ba’t naman ako nadamay d’yan?!”

Loveless Loren
For the nth time, Sen. Loren Legarda denied rumors she had an affair with Sen. Edgardo Angara. For the nth time, we’re not convinced.

Loved
A recent Gallup poll showed the Philippines was the world’s ‘leader in love’ with 93 percent of Filipinos “reported feeling love.” The remaining 7 percent was President Aquino.

nancyBiggest Gainer
In the latest Social Weather Stations survey, senatorial aspirant Nancy Binay, described by the Philippine Daily Inquirer as “unqualified” zoomed past seven other candidates to place 4th. The survey had a margin of error of plus or minus Jejomar Binay.

pistorBlade Gunner?
South African Olympian Oscar “Blade Runner” Pistorius was formally charged with murder for allegedly shooting his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp four times in his home in Pretoria on Valentine’s Day. Initial reports say Pistorius mistook her for a burglar. Prosecutors said it was premeditated murder. Atimonan checkpoint police said it was a shootout.

Double amputee Oscar “Blade Runner” Pistorius allegedly shot his girlfriend inside his home in Pretoria, South Africa on Valentine’s Day. The Olympian admitted he was in the house that day. But Juan Ponce Enrile insisted Pistorius wasn’t there.

The annual Academy Awards happens two Mondays from now. I wouldn’t be surprised if presenters would say, “And the Oscar goes to… prison.”

nancy2Meteors!
More than 1,000 people were injured in Central Russia when a meteor exploded in the sky. Or as God would call it… “preview.”

Sarah Palin said she could see the Russia meteor from her house.

A meteor just hit Russia… prompting tabloids to give it a name: ‘Chris Brown.’

Breaking: North Korea admits misfiring rocket; apologizes to Moscow.

A massive meteor exploded over Central Russia. And the Mayans were like, “Told yah!”

A meteor shower that injured a thousand and then an asteroid. Apparently, Pope Benedict XVI’s decision to quit didn’t sit well with God.

And this just in: Meteor fragments gathered by scientists in Russia were found to have traces of horse meat.
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“My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.”
~W. Somerset Maugham

Sound Bites
“We dated but we were very good friends. We went out a couple of times but I think she’s kinda very strong and she’s really a different character.”
~San Juan Rep. JV Ejercito on TV host Kris Aquino

“Kung ako bakla, baka wala nang macho sa mundo.”
~Sen. Panfilo Lacson

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.








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