UNANIMOUS

14 04 2014

THE CHRISTIAN tradition of Holy Week has officially started. It’s that week of pain, penance, and suffering. Or as MRT riders would say, “everyday.”

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As in the previous years, the Senate will stage its own version of the senakulo. Bong Revilla and Jinggoy Estrada were unanimously chosen to play the role of the two thieves crucified with Jesus.

Of course, someone’s going to wash his hands during the play. Guess who’s invited to play Pontius Pilate? MRT General Manager Al Vitangcol.

Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus was rewarded with 30 pieces of silver. No one among the 24 senators was willing to play the part when they were told by Kim Henares that the reward was taxable.

The Senate has invited actress Anne Curtis to play Mary Magdalene. Anne insists on playing a part in the Last Supper scene. She can’t wait for the wine to be served.

President Aquino has taped his Holy Week message to Filipinos. In the 45-second video, he blamed GMA for the arrest and crucifixion of Jesus.

The annual exodus of Filipinos to the provinces for the Holy Week has begun. To avoid long lines in bus terminals, palace spokesman Sonny Coloma has a brilliant suggestion. Ride an airplane.

While Filipinos are on vacation, oil companies are reportedly implementing oil price increases. It’s their way of observing ‘Mahal na Araw.’

11Pacquiao Scores
Manny Pacquiao reclaimed the WBO welterweight title with a unanimous decision victory over Timothy Bradley. With the win, Pacquiao believes his journey as a boxer will continue. Here’s hoping that his journey as a politician will soon end.

The fight lasted 12 rounds. For two judges, it was 116-112 and for another, 118-110 – all in favor of Mommy Dionisia.

Timothy Bradley is undefeated no more. For the first time in his professional career, he tasted defeat. Bradley has realized that nothing in this world is permanent – except for Chavit Singson’s presence in every Pacquiao fight.

After watching the multimillion dollar world title fight, Manny’s wife Jinkee was overcome with emotion. While her husband was celebrating inside the ring, Jinkee was crying as she thought about the hardwork, the perseverance, and the BIR.

Online reports say Jinggoy Estrada watched the Pacquiao-Bradley fight at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. He almost stole the show.

1BongHaydenHoly Trip!
Last week, Hayden Kho and Bong Revilla bumped into each other in the Holy Land – which probably explains the reported sudden drop in the level of holiness of that land recently.

Bong Revilla is back from a trip to the Holy Land. The embattled actor says he “expects to be arrested anytime.” To which, Filipino taxpayers said, ‘Hopefully.’

Lotto
The PCSO has denied online allegations it rigged the P250M Grand Lotto draw recently. A Muntinlupa City resident was declared the lone winner in that draw. I’m not sure about the rigging but for me, the worst thing about the lotto is that I haven’t won the jackpot.
———————————————————
“The only vice that cannot be forgiven is hypocrisy. The repentance of a hypocrite is itself hypocrisy.”
~William Hazlitt

Sound Bites
“Habang nagbabakbakan sila, nagpi-pray ako. Ipinagdadasal kong pabagsakin ni Manny si Bradley.”
~Mommy Dionisia

Poll Results
Anong evening newscast ang madalas mong pinapanood?

TV Patrol 30.21%
24 Oras 24.26%
State of the Nation (SONA) 9.57%
Depende sa content. Minsan, iba’t iba, 9.57%
Solar Network News 9.15%
Aksyon (TV5) 7.02%
Bandila 4.26%
Others 3.4%
Saksi 1.49%
Solar Nightly News 0.85%
Pilipinas News (TV5) 0.21%
News+ (Studio 23) 0%

Have a safe vacation/staycation!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Agence France Presse, Hayden Kho]





“HE’S BACK!”

24 11 2013

napoles
CONGRATULATIONS Manny Pacquiao! You were impressive in that sparring session.

Boxing analysts lauded Manny Pacquiao for his speed. Some typhoon victims wished he was the government.

Did you guys watch the fight? Manny Pacquiao is back! Unfortunately, so is Chavit Singson.

If you looked closely at Manny Pacquiao’s blue trunks, you would‘ve noticed some prominent labels such as No Fear, LBC, Café Puro, Motolite, Ricoa, and Office of the Vice President.

Brandon Rios was simply outboxed. Of the 502 punches thrown, Rios landed 138. But President Aquino told Christiane Amanpour the figure was “too much.”

According to CompuBox, Brandon Rios landed 138 punches. He’s one lucky guy. In the Philippines, people could only dream of punching a lawmaker.

Compubox statistics showed Manny Pacquiao landed 281 punches. But Rios only landed 138 – prompting Korina Sanchez to quip, “hindi mo alam ang ginagawa mo.”

An irritated Rios replied, “You should have visited Macau and watched the fight yourself. I’m sure your husband has the means to arrange a flight.”

Reports say Manny Pacquiao is guaranteed to receive 18 million to 30 million dollars. That’s almost 1.3 billion pesos. Or as Janet Napoles would say, “Maliit!”

Untitled
Mommy Dionisia was at ring side during the Pacquiao-Rios fight in Macau. It was a double victory for Pacman and Pacmom. Aling Dionisia was awarded Best in National Costume.

Jinkee Pacquiao is three months pregnant. According to Manny Pacquiao, God told him (via a dream) he’s going to have a baby boy. Sought for reaction, God said, “Wala akong alam d’yan!”

With Pacquiao’s latest victory, observers predict Mommy Dionisia will probably get a new bag, and Jinkee Pacquiao will probably get a new face.
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“The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That’s real glory. Thats the essence of it.”
~ Vince Lombardi

Sound Bites
“This isn’t about my comeback. My victory is a symbol of my people’s comeback from a natural disaster, a national tragedy. It’s really important to bring honor to my country with this win.”
~ Manny Pacquiao

Have a safe week ahead! Welcome back Pacquiao!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

(Photos: Getty Images, Michael Josh Villanueva)





JUANCE AND FOR ALL

9 12 2012

BREAKING: Filipinos’ hearts.

IT WAS A tough night for boxing legend Manny Pacquiao. He was knocked out in the sixth round by Juan Manuel Marquez and got 25 million dollars! Yeah, tough night.

pacmanManny Pacquiao was knocked out by Juan Manuel Marquez in the sixth round of their fourth (non-title) bout. It was only the second knock down for Pacquiao – since he was knocked out by Darlene Antonino-Custodio in 2007.

Juan Manuel Marquez knocked out Manny Pacquiao in Round 6. The Filipino boxer lay motionless on the canvas for several minutes… prompting Floyd Mayweather Jr to demand that he be tested for sedatives.

Defeated US presidential candidate Mitt Romney met and shook hands with Manny Pacquiao before the fight. That handshake sealed the fate of Manny.

Reports say Mitt Romney initiated the brief conversation with Pacquiao saying, “Hello Manny, I ran for president. I lost.” And Pacquiao was like, “O, sinong nagpapasok dito?”

Mommy Dionisia Pacquiao says Pacquiao’s change of religion was to blame for his recent losses. To which, God said, “Manisi ba?”

JinkeePacquiao’s defeat stunned his wife, Jinkee. Either that, or she just looks stunned.

Just like the rest of her countrymen, Jinkee Pacquiao was shocked. You can tell ‘coz you can see it in her face eyes.

ESPN Stats showed Manny Pacquiao landed more jabs and more power punches. Pacman made 94 while Marquez had 51. In fact, Marquez’ 51 was less impressive than Claudine Barretto’s 68.

Manny Pacquiao got knocked down. I wish he was another congressman (or party-list representative).

c
While Bob Arum was talking about the possibility of a fifth fight, Juan Manuel Marquez was telling the media that he’s not too keen about it. He looks forward to fighting Chris Brown instead.

Almost 30 Filipino congressmen were present at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas during the Pacquiao-Marquez bout. And there was this awkward moment when ring announcer Michael Buffer dared the congressmen to put the RH Bill to a vote.

In the metro, authorities anticipated zero crime rate. Until Round 6.

Manny Pacquiao admitted that he got over confident during the fight. But he’s not giving any excuses. What’s important is he showed his talent and proved that he still got the skills. Despite the fall, he’s safe now. And this just in: He has a new sponsor: Salem bed.

On the eve of the Pacquiao-Marquez fight, Malacañang predicted a Pacquiao victory. Pageant aficionados are calling on Malacañang to NOT predict a win for Miss Universe candidate Janine Tugonon.

BREAKING NEWS: The local government of Mexico City has just announced that Friday is a non-working day in the city. The mayor, in floral shirt, together with one of his sons, and son-in-law will lead the Marquez motorcade.
—————————————–
“When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.”
~Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

cQuotes of the Day
“Ginawa nating ang lahat, at talaga naman na kailangang tanggapin natin. ‘Yan ang trabaho natin, hindi lahat ng panahon ay panalo.”
~Manny Pacquiao (via ABS-CBN)

“Sabihin ko kay Bob Arum, stop na. Hindi hayop ang anak ko; tao siya. Ayoko na. Ang trabaho niya focus na lang sa pulitika. Iwanan na lang niya ang pag-boxing.”
~Mommy Dionisia Pacquiao (via GMA News)

juanma
No to Corruption
Lest you forget, President Aquino recently declared December 9 as National Anti-Corruption Day! Or as many Customs officials and personnel would call it, “Unfair!”

Have a peaceful and safe week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Jinkee Photo via @cesdrilon/ Meme via @charlestiu]








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