CODE NAME: BABOY

6 09 2013

WHISTLE-BLOWERS in the multibillion peso pork barrel scam are in possession of five notebooks reportedly containing evidence of Janet Lim-Napoles’ alleged transactions with lawmakers. According to the Philippine Daily Inquirer, one of the notebooks contains Napoles’ contact persons and their phone numbers. In totally unrelated news, Smart and Globe reported a surge in sales of new SIM cards.

1KAlias
According to the whistleblowers, Janet Lim-Napoles is using code names for some lawmakers she’s having transactions with. The alleged pork barrel queen uses the alias “Pogi” for Bong Revilla. Sought for reaction, Revilla said he would hire a beauty expert to verify if he’s really pogi.

The witnesses say there are two code names for Jinggoy Estrada. One is “Kuya” – which is self-explanatory. And another is “Sexy” – which tarnishes the witnesses’ credibility.

According to two witnesses, Janet Napoles’ code names for Jinggoy Estrada are “Kuya” and “Sexy.” They didn’t say though if one was pang-araw and the other’s panggabi.

Juan Ponce Enrile has been repeatedly linked to Janet Lim-Napoles. In fact, she allegedly uses the code name “Tandâ” for him. When Enrile heard this, he said, “Inuulit ko, hindi ko kilala si Pangit.”

Alyas Pogi
Bong Revilla will reportedly deliver a privilege speech to defend himself against pork barrel scam allegations. We can’t wait to listen. In these trying times, the public badly needs something to laugh about.

Typhoon Nakaw
A petition asking PAGASA to name typhoons after corrupt politicians has been launched online. But the weather bureau rejected it because there’s not enough typhoons to accommodate all names.

The Client
On GMA NewsTV’s State of the Nation, news anchor Jessica Soho asked Atty. Lorna Kapunan, “Do you think Napoles is clean, and not a corrupt person?” Kapunan replied, “I think I need a lawyer.” I think you answered it well.

Asked by Jessica Soho if she believed that Janet Napoles was clean, and not a corrupt person, Lorna Kapunan answered, “I think I need a lawyer.” The Napoleses replied, “I think you need a new client.”

The camp of Janet Lim-Napoles is asking authorities to allow her to have a yaya inside the detention facility. Apparently, Kapunan wants a sideline.

janet 1

Gotcha!
During a pivotal Congressional hearing on Syria, US senator John McCain was caught by a camera playing poker on his phone. To be fair to McCain, it was Senator Enrile who started the trend.

Annulment
Former beauty titlist Jewel May Lobaton, estranged wife of Sen. Koko Pimentel has formally asked the court to annul their marriage. Saying the senator is “psychologically incapacitated,” Lobaton’s lawyer Salvador Panelo reveals, “In their 12-year marriage, Koko never uttered the words ‘I love you’ to Jewel.” I wonder if Anthony Golez did.

Top 5 Words Often “Uttered” by Koko Pimentel During His 12-Year Marriage to Jewel Lobaton (That May Have Offended the Beauty Queen)

No. 5: Dinaya ako ni Migz.

No. 4: Dinaya ako ni Migz.

No. 3: Bes, gutom ako. Nagluto ka na ba?

No. 2: Dinaya talaga ako ni Migz.

No. 1: Sabi ko, gutom ako! ‘Di mo ba ako narinig ‘teh?!?

Google
The co-founder of Google, Sergey Brin and his wife have reportedly called it quits. Brin is now searching.

Claudine vs. Raymart
At the Marikina Regional Trial Court Thursday, Claudine Barretto was asked about Raymart Santiago. The actress said, “‘Wag na nating pag-usapan. Hindi naman siya importanteng tao at hindi rin siya sikat.” To which Raymart replied, “Ayaw ko na pong mag-comment sa sinabi ng nag-iisang Superstar slash Megastar slash Star for All Seasons ng Pilipinas. Thank you.”

Asked if she’s willing to reconcile with her estranged husband Raymart Santiago, actress Claudine Barretto answered, “Hindi na.” Raymart is throwing a party.
———————————————————
“Leadership is a privilege to better the lives of others. It is not an opportunity to satisfy personal greed.”
~Mwai Kibaki

Sound Bites
“He will go down in history after all his boasting and his preening. ‘Yan, his old age will be his own punishment. Hindi pa siya lusot. His name would be ruined if he is convicted. You no longer have the time to erase that blot in your record.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago on her “best best friend,” Senator Enrile

“Ang ginagawa namin, mula sa PDAF ng mga congressman napunta sa NGOs na peke iyong pera tapos pinambibili namin ng dollar para dalhin sa US, via bank transfer.”
~Former Janet Napoles employee to ABS-CBN News

Happy weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.





GRILLED PORK

14 08 2013

1NAPOLES

EVERYONE’S still talking about the roundtable discussion between alleged pork barrel scam mastermind Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles and the editors and reporters of the Philippine Daily Inquirer. Apparently, Napoles took the term ’roundtable’ literally. Paikut-ikot ang sagot niya.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer published the verbatim transcript of its interview with Janet Napoles. In case you missed it, you’ll find the interview in the Comic Relief section.

According to Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles, her lawyer was not told that she was going to the Inquirer office. Napoles was not told no one’s going to buy that.

Kapunan
Interviewed by GMA News, Jenny Napoles’ lawyer Lorna Kapunan said her client never knew Senators Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla personally – “ever.” Attorney Kapunan may be a tough woman but she can be truly funny sometimes.

In the same interview, Kapunan reiterated that Jenny Napoles derives her income from coal. In the interest of fairness, we will try our very best to get the side of the coal.

Openly attacking the Inquirer which ran a series of stories on the pork barrel scam, lawyer Lorna Kapunan said, “All the things you write in PDI, the same thing you do to Janet Napoles, we can do it to you!” To which the Inquirer replied, “Why? We just (unintelligible) difference (unintelligible) Janet Napoles (unintelligible) the report so (unintelligible) as far as she’s (unintelligible).”

1Cardinal Tagle
The issue of pork barrel scam has moved Cardinal Antonio Tagle Jr. to tears. Of course, if Tagle listens to Napoles or Kapunan, he’ll easily be moved to laughter.

Korina
Janet Lim-Napoles refuses to reveal the name of her coal company in Indonesia saying, Korina Sanchez is already doing a story on that. Korina has also interviewed a business partner of Napoles who vouched for her firm’s legitimacy. On dzMM, Korina also talked to a witness who attacked the character of whistleblower Benhur Luy. So far, Korina is doing a better job than Kapunan.

House Probe
Rumors say a number of lawmakers are either friends or business partners of Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles. Here’s the latest news: as soon as the NBI concludes its probe on the pork barrel scam, congressmen will invite Napoles to a separate inquiry. Unfazed, the alleged pork barrel queen has expressed willingness to attend the hearing. After all, it’s just Congress. Or as Napoles would call it, “safe House.”

In other news…
Asked if he’s dating anyone, House Speaker Feliciano Belmonte told ANC, “At the age of 76, who would be interested?” And Loren Legarda was like, “Don’t be so suuure!”

1Oil Spill
Reports say oil giant Petron Corporation has apologized for the damage caused by the massive oil spill in Cavite last week. The report didn’t state though when will Petron apologize for the damage caused by unjust price increases.

“Decapitated”
In Pasay City, a 34-year-old wife cut off her 51-year-old husband’s penis in a fit of jealous rage. Authorities are reportedly filing a case against the wife. But I seriously doubt if the case will prosper. The evidence would not stand up in court.

Reports say the severed portion of the man’s sex organ has yet to be found. Efforts to reconstruct the penis were all in vein!

Racism in Switzerland?
Oprah Winfrey revealed that while shopping in Zurich, she asked a boutique saleslady if she could see a bag right above her head. The woman replied, “No. It’s too expensive.” Oprah was offended. The next day, she bought Zurich.
————————————————
LAWYER: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.
~ The Cynic’s Dictionary

Sound Bites
“Kuya, bibigyan kita ng picture. ’Wag mo na akong picturan. Pangit ako ngayon.”
~Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles to an Inquirer photographer during the roundtable discussion

“I was encouraged to attend the basketball game, as either Chief Booster and Lucky Charm; and since we didn’t win, perhaps now I am being blamed for [Gilas’] loss.”
~President Aquino

Elsewhere
Rappler.Com: Janet ‘Jenny’Lim-Napoles and a tragic past

Enjoy the rest of the week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.








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