NEWS QUIZ

12 05 2011

HAVE YOU BEEN READING or watching the news lately? Find out how much you know about recent and current events by taking this quiz. No Googling please! Don’t cheat. Lawmakers and generals hate competition.

1: Naging paksa ng mga usapan ang halagang 13 pesos and 35 centavos (P13.35) kamakailan. Ano nga ba ito?
A: Presyo ng isang latang sardinas
B: Ang offer na daily wage hike ng mga employers
C: Ang dagdag sa tinatanggap na Emergency Cost of Living Allowance (E-Cola) ng minimum wage earners
D: Limos para sa mga laborers na walang choice

2: To cushion the impact of rising fuel costs, namigay ng Smart cards ang pamahalaan sa mga jeepney at tricycle drivers. Bahagi ito ng Pantawid Pasada program ng gobyerno. Magkano ang laman ng bawat card na tinanggap ng mga jeepney drivers (good for one month)?
A: P1,100
B: ‘Wag nang magreklamo. Ang importante, meron.
C: P1,500
D: Anong sabi n’yo? Maliit? Eh ‘di magreklamo ka sa presidente mong panot!

3: Sino ang babaeng nasa larawan?

A: Ang sinibak na executive ng LTO na si Virginia Torres, shooting buddy ng pangulo
B: Si Marie Peña Ruiz, ang beteranang reporter na ayon sa tsismis ay siya raw bagong apple of the eye ni Pangulong Aquino
C: Si Mary Ruth M. Ferrer, spokesperson ng Sandiganbayan na nagsabing legal ang plea bargain agreement sa pagitan ng Ombudsman at ni retired Major General Carlos F. Garcia
D: Malay ko! Hindi siya sikat!

4: Kung si Antonio Trillanes IV ang poorest senator, sino naman ang second poorest?
A: Tao ba ito? Hiwalay ba sa asawa?
B: Member ba siya ng Noy-Bi team?
C: Galit ba sa kanya si Korina Sanchez?
D: Senator Francis “Chiz” Escudero

5: Sinong public interest lawyer ang abogado rin ng nagsarang Banco Filipino at mortal na kaaway ngayon ng Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas?
A: Atty. Leonard De Vera
B: Atty. Salvador Panelo
C: Atty. Ely Pamatong
D: Atty. Harry Roque

6: Tumaas nang mahigit apat na milyong piso ang yaman ni Pangulong Aquino ayon sa kanyang Statement of Assets and Liabilities and Net Worth. Ano ang paliwanag ng palasyo?
A: “Walang ilegal sa amount na ‘yon. Bahagi ‘yan ng ‘di nagastos na campaign contribution ng kanyang kapatid na si Ms. Kris Aquino.”
B: “The President has always been transparent with his wealth. Wala siyang itinatago.”
C: “Nagbenta ng lote sa Antipolo City ang ating Presidente.”
D: “Apat na milyong piso ang halaga ng Porsche. Public knowledge ‘yan”

7: Isang hapon…
Official No.1: Kaya nga ipatawag natin ang tatlong lider para ma-settle natin kung ano ang deadline.
Official No. 2: Who will set the deadline?
Official No. 1: No, no, no! Of course, we consult them before we set the deadline.
Official No. 2: Nooo! Nooo! Nooo!
Official No. 1: Kaya nagkakagulo eh, ini-insist lang natin ang gusto natin.
Official No. 2 walks out.
Sino ang magkausap?
A: Cong. Mikey Arroyo at BIR Commissioner Kim Henares sa isyu ng deadline sa pagbabayad ng buwis
B: Mga immature na pulitiko at taong-gobyerno
C: Basta! Isa sa kanila Samar; ‘yong isa, Balay! Sure na. Final answer!
D: Makati Mayor Junjun Binay and DILG Sec. Jesse Robredo sa Laperal Compound

8: Kamakailan ay naaresto sa Taguig City si Arabani Jakiran, a suspected member of the Abu Sayyaf terrorist group. Security guard siya sa Pacific Towers Plaza. In defense of Jakiran, isang kilalang tao sa lipunan ang nagsabing more than six years na raw naglilingkod ang suspek bilang guwardiya sa sosyal na condominium. Sino itong personalidad na ito na gusto yatang maging lawyer ni Jakiran?
A: Manny V. Pangilinan
B: Tessa Prieto-Valdez
C: Jaime Augusto Zobel De Ayala
D: Margarita ‘Tingting’ Cojuangco

9: Napag-uusapan na rin lang ang pag-aresto… dinakip ng NAIA security si Enrico Del Rosario Aldaba kahapon, May 11 for alleged possession of prohibited drugs. Patungong Palawan umano ang suspek at nang malapit na ito sa airport security screening area, nilulon daw nito ang isang sachet ng shabu. Matapos dalhin sa himpilan ng pulisya, isang Cabinet secretary ang nagtungo roon. Pinsan pala ng kalihim ang suspek. Sino si Cabinet Secretary?
A: Foreign Affairs Secretary Albert F. Del Rosario
B: Tourism Secretary Alberto Lim
C: Executive Secretary Paquito Ochoa
D: Hindi ako interested kay Secretary. Pero ito lang ang masasabi ko sa suspek: kung nagugutom ka, mag-rice ka! Tanga!

10: May bagong advocacy si Cong. Manny Pacquiao. Anong organisasyon ang napili niyang maging partner?
A: CBCP! Siyempre, anti-RH Bill si Manny!
B: Bantay Bata
C: Gawad Kalinga
D: GMA Kapuso Foundation! Obvious naman ‘di ba? (‘Nood kayo lagi ng Shumi Damani!)

Bonus Questions
No. 1: Ano ang bagong pamagat ng programa ni Willie Revillame sa TV5?
A: “Wil Time, Big Time”
B: “Cashiyahan Para sa Bayan”
C: “Willing Wilyonaryo”
D: “Malay Ko, Pakialam Ko!”

No. 2: Ano ang nangyari sa reporter na ito ng ABS-CBN na si Niko Baua?

A: ‘Yan ang bagong uniform ng ABS-CBN News and Current Affairs kapag demolisyon ang iku-cover. Astig!
B: Tinamaan ng bato na inihagis ng mga squatters na pinapalayas sa Laperal Compound
C: Nakipagsapakan sa reporter ng GMA7 na si Ivan Mayrina dahil sa agawan ng puwesto sa kinu-cover na demolition ng squatters. Itinago ng dalawang networks ang balita. Now you know!
D: Wala lang. Trip lang n’yang ibalot sa malamig na tela ang kanyang ulo. Kasi naman, sobrang init talaga ng panahon ngayon.

No. 3: Sino ang babaeng ito?

A: Ang dating yaya ni Prince William na si Lillie Piccio
B: Ang alleged illegal recruiter na si Tita Cacayan
C: Si Rosel Jakosalem Peñas, ang hina-hunting na bilas ni Pilar Pilapil
D: Dating showbiz scribe na si Portia Ilagan na tauhan na ngayon ni Sen. Bong Revilla

No. 4: Para “Oras-oras, alam mo…”
A: Magbasa ng Libre, ang free newspaper ng Philippine Daily Inquirer
B: Tumutok sa GMA News TV
C: Makinig sa Tambalang Failon at Webb sa dzMM
D: Mag-enrol sa Gapuz Review Center

No. 5: “Nagdaan na naman ang isang araw ng pagbabalita. Isang araw na bahagi ng kasaysayan. Sa ngalan ng bayan sa ilalim ng nag-iisa nating… “
A: Saksi
B: Watawat
C: Aksyon
D: Bandila

Modernong Talasalitaan
Makabagong kahulugan ng mga salita, parirala o pangungusap batay sa mga kaganapan sa ating kapaligiran. Ang kahulugan ay maaaring madagdagan, mabawasan, o maiba depende sa mga susunod na pangyayari.

>Indirect Bribery: Ang pagnanakaw ng mahigit tatlong daang milyong piso mula sa kaban ng bayan. See “plunder.”

>Plunder: Wala nang gano’n. Hindi na uso ‘yan. Kapag nagnakaw ka ng limampung milyong piso o higit pa mula sa kaban ng bayan, ibalik mo lang ang kalahati at ayos na ang butu-buto. See “indirect bribery.”
——————————————————————
“Never awake me when you have good news to announce, because with good news nothing presses; but when you have bad news, arouse me immediately, for then there is not an instant to be lost.”
~Napoleon Bonaparte

You Have Spoken
Ano ang masasabi n’yo sa napipintong pagpasok ni former Senator Mar Roxas sa pamahalaan?
– Great! Kailangan ng gobyerno ang kanyang husay at talino. 15.65%
- Lalong titindi ang tensyon sa pagitan ng Samar at Balay groups. 53.06%
– Let’s see. 31.29%

Enjoy your weekend! Ingat!
Los Angeles Lakers for life!

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ANAK NG WEDDING!

30 04 2011


The Royal Wedding
Prince William and Kate Middleton wed at Westminster Abbey in London Friday. The wedding ceremony was calm, peaceful, and orderly. However, the mass was briefly interrupted when the Archbishop of Canterbury ordered RH bill supporters to leave the Church because “it’s useless”.

Britain’s Prince William and his wife Kate, Duchess of Cambridge ride in a landau to Buckingham Palace after the Royal Wedding in London Friday. The newlyweds were supposed to ride a Porsche but William feared that doing so would pull down his approval and trust ratings.

Friday’s event in London was dubbed as a fairytale wedding. You have a future king, a future queen, and of course, a wicked witch. I’m not saying who. By the way, did you notice Camilla Parker Bowles’ hat?

Observers say the William and Kate romance is a Cinderella story. In fact, if you were watching closely, you would have noticed the pumpkin during the wedding. Here’s the photo.


Why Her?
Prince William and Kate Middleton got married Friday in London. A few weeks earlier, William proposed to Kate live on Wowowee.

Asked why she chose Kate, Prince William – to the surprise of the international media answered in Filipino, “Siya yung nagpatigil sa pagka-binata ko.”

By the way, to those who are asking: there’s no truth to rumors that William is running in the next elections.

Exchange of Vows
Prince William and Kate Middleton exchanged vows at Westminster Abbey Friday morning. Everyone who was invited showed up. Observers noticed though that William forgot to invite some of his… hair.

Prince William and Kate Middleton were declared man and wife at London’s Westminster Abbey Friday morning. Donald Trump – who failed to catch the ceremony on TV refused to believe that the wedding actually happened and demanded that the couple produce a marriage certificate.


This just in: London has reported a 40 percent increase in the sales of hats on wedding day alone.

The World Watched
Fascinated by Friday’s historic London event, Sen. Loren Legarda is reportedly looking forward to having her own Royal Wedding. After all, she’s a monarch… butterfly.

According to the international media, what took place on Friday morning at Westminster Abbey was the “Wedding of the Century.” Just wait ‘til our very own Piolo Pascual and KC Concepcion walk down the aisle! It will be the “Wedding of the Century… tuna.”

In Miami, LeBron James was up early to watch the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. But the Heat star reportedly got pissed and turned off the TV during the exchange of vows. He got jealous of Kate’s ring.

Aquino on William & Kate
Through his spokesman Edwin Lacierda, President Aquino said Prince William and Kate Middleton “must make adjustments so that their marriage foundation can be established.” To which, William and Kate replied:“Thank you Archbishop Oscar Cruz!” .

April 29, 2011 was a historic day indeed. In London, Prince William and Kate Middleton got married. In Manila, Merceditas Gutierrez and the Office of the Ombudsman got divorced.

OMG Resigns
On Friday, April 29, 2011, embattled Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez resigned. She read a prepared statement at a press conference held around 2pm. Unfortunately, she refused to answer questions from journalists, and immediately left… to attend a Royal Wedding viewing party.


Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez’s resignation drew mixed reactions from former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s allies. House Minority Leader Edcel Lagman said, “One who retreats from a good fight does not deserve to be defended or supported.” Quezon Representative Danilo Suarez stated, “Her family could not endure the pressure and I agreed that resignation was her only choice.” Senator Miguel Zubiri said, “Hmpf! I wanted to wear pa naman that magenta toga. Kainezz!”

Professor Harry Roque, one of the first to call for the impeachment of Gutierrez is hoping that her replacement “will embrace the challenge for the Ombudsman to deal with human rights violations.” He then enumerated the human rights violations committed by the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas against his client, Banco Filipino.

News of Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez’ resignation reached Westminster Abbey. Did you know what the wedding guests said? “Hats off!”

Birth Certificate
President Barack Obama has released his birth certificate to prove that he was born in the United States. Critics weren’t satisfied though. They want him to release an alleged psychiatric report from college to prove that he’s fit to govern.


In Washington DC, the White House has released a document that proves that President Obama was born in the United States. Meanwhile, in Manila, Malacañang will release a document that will prove that Jejomar Binay is not the president of the Philippines.

Good News
Palace spokesperson Edwin Lacierda says Malacañang has “good news” on Labor Day but he won’t reveal it yet. Be patient. It would leak.


Top 5 Pieces of “Good News” to be Announced by Malacañang on Labor Day

No. 5: More court cases against former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

No. 4: President Aquino is going out with a new girl… but unlike the ladies he dated recently, this one’s into him.

No. 3: To complement the Pantawid Pasada cards for drivers, the government will distribute Pantawid Kusina cards for housewives, Pantawid Dagat for fisherfolks, Pantawid Kalsada for street children, and Pantawid Aliw for prostitutes.

No. 2: Prince William and Kate Middleton have chosen the Philippines as their honeymoon destination.

And the No. 1 piece of “good news” to be announced by Malacañang on Labor Day…

President Aquino is the son of Ninoy and he’s releasing a copy of his birth certificate to prove it.


Laperal Compound
The demolition of informal settlers at the Laperal compound in Makati City turned violent Thursday. In the morning, stubborn residents clashed with the police. In the afternoon, stubborn mayor Junjun Binay clashed with DILG Sec. Jesse Robredo.

Melendez vs. Meneses
Bulacan, Bulacan Mayor Patrick Meneses has filed a libel suit against his ex-girlfriend, actress and former Quezon City councilor Aiko Melendez for allegedly spreading rumors he’s gay. Meneses then excused himself from the press saying he needs to go home to catch the latest episode of Glee.

In support of their “maligned” colleague, local executives in Bulacan have signed a resolution declaring former Quezon City Councilor Aiko Melendez persona non grata in the whole province. Sought for comment, Melendez says she has yet to consult a lawyer and a dictionary.
—————————————————–
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.”
~Zsa Zsa Gabor

You Have Spoken
Ano ang pinaka-tinututukan mong local all-news channel?
-AksyonTV (TV5) 4.03%
-ANC (ABS-CBN) 33.21%
-GMA News TV (GMA 7) 34.74%
-Depende sa palabas. I switch channels. 28.02%

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Have a safe weekend! Let’s go Lakers!








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