JUST SO YOU KNOW, last May 22, the International Day for Biological Diversity was celebrated in 11 countries around the world – from Algeria to the Philippines and from Ecuador to the United Kingdom. During the celebration, Ecuador opened its largest protected wildlife zone; Algeria reported the discovery of a new reptilian species, and the Philippines confirmed that koalas were no longer endemic to Australia.
Have you been following the investigation being conducted by the Lower House on the revelations of “koala boy” as regards the alleged poll fraud? Several defeated candidates from Luzon to Visayas and Mindanao divulged that unidentified men offered to rig the automated polls in their favor for a fee. But the candidates rejected the offer because the purported ‘koala boys’ wanted the payment to be made in Australian dollars.
This just in: Feisty senator Miriam Defensor Santiago has dared “koala boy” to reveal his identity. If not, the senator will reportedly unmask the political operator behind him. Malakas umano ang kutob ng senadora na si “koala boy” ay nagtatago ngayon sa isang “puno.”
Top 5 Revelations in “Koala Boy’s” New Video Allegedly Coming Out Soon
No. 5: That the original plan was for him to appear in a gecko suit but “it’s too hot in there”
No. 4: That homosexual voters actually voted in bloc but Comelec 2nd Division Commissioners Elias Yusoph, Nicodemo Ferrer, and Lucenito Tagle shaved off thousands of votes from ‘Ang Ladlad’ and Sen. Jamby Madrigal
No. 3: That an altered version of his video exposé will be released to discredit him. Wearing only black briefs and a red bandana tied around his head, the video shows ‘koala boy’ gyrating to Justin Bieber’s remake of ‘Careless Whisper’
No. 2: That he’s willing to reveal his true identity in Congress on condition that Makati City Rep. Teddyboy Locsin won’t call him “son of a bitch” on live TV
And the No. 1 revelation in “koala boy’s” new video allegedly coming out soon…
That Smartmatic’s Cesar Flores and Comelec Commissioner Gregorio Larrazabal are “partners in crime” adding that both men fondly call each other “papa bear” in private.
In Other News…
Defeated Davao City mayoral candidate, and outgoing House Speaker Prospero Nograles has filed an electoral protest citing conspiracy on the part of his rival Sara Duterte and local poll officials. Saying he’s not sourgraping, Nograles insists he’s just after the naked truth.
Not Quitting
Noynoy Aquino says he won’t quit smoking because doing so might affect his decisions. Did you know what happened the last time he tried to stop smoking? He decided to run for president!
President-apparent Noynoy Aquino said he would not quit smoking because doing so might affect his decisions. For instance, this morning, he tried NOT to smoke. As a result, he had to grasp for an answer when his maid asked him, ‘Ser, iskrambol po ba o sony side up?”
Noynoy Aquino says he is not going to quit smoking because doing so might affect his decisions. For instance, on the day that he decided NOT to quit smoking, he was trying to quit smoking!
Top 5 Things to Tell Noynoy Aquino To Make Him Quit
No. 5: Kapag ‘di ka tumigil sa paninigarilyo, ibubunyag nina Korina Sanchez, Diana Zubiri, Bernadette Sembrano, at Barbara Milano kung bakit sila nakipag-break sa ‘yo!
No. 4: Kapag ‘di ka tumitigil sa paninigarilyo, hindi kayo puwedeng mag-computer games ni Joshua.
No. 3: Kapag ‘di ka tumigil sa paninigarilyo, magagalit si Papa Jesus!
No. 2: Kapag ‘di ka tumigil sa paninigarilyo, ibabalik sa ‘yo ni Mar Roxas si Korina Sanchez!
And the No. 1 thing to tell Noynoy Aquino to make him quit…
Kapag ‘di ka tumigil sa paninigarilyo, ikaw ulit ang presidente from 2016 to 2022!
MVP and Meralco
Effective July 1, 2010, PLDT Chairman Manuel V. Pangilinan will become chief executive officer of the country’s largest power retailer Manila Electric Company. So don’t be surprised if you and your neighbors would have similar if not identical billing statements.
Effective July 1, 2010, PLDT Chairman Manuel V. Pangilinan will be the CEO of Meralco. Also on July 1, Meralco’s tagline, “May liwanag ang buhay” will be replaced with a new slogan, “Go, Meralco! One Big Light!”
Survey Says
Should President-apparent Noynoy Aquino appoint members of the Hyatt 10 or The Firm in key government posts?
SURE. They’re capable. 18.4%
NO! TAMA NA! They’ve had their time. 63.4%
Bahala siya sa buhay niya! 18.2%
We have a new survey. Please vote now.
Elsewhere
Newsbreak: Noynoy’s ‘little president’
A Manila Standard Today Lifestyle columnist came up with his own list of the most admired TV journalists
Some people have suspected that “koala boy” who exposed the alleged poll fraud in the May 10 automated polls could be the infamous whistleblower Ador Mawanay. But suspicions slowly fizzled out when they realized that only a horse-shaped mask would fit on him.
2010 Census
