WHAAAPAC!

8 12 2008

De La Hoya Pacquiao Boxing
The Dream Match
Manny Pacquiao was credited for landing 224 of 585 punches to just 83 of 402 for De La Hoya. Again, Pacquiao, 224 and De La Hoya, 83! Eighty-three! To give you an idea how lousy De La Hoya was… in a recent fight with Manny, Jinkee Pacquiao landed 85!

Odd makers predicted a De La Hoya victory yesterday. Some analysts say it was mismatch. But Manny Pacquiao defied the odds and proved them all wrong. Before the final bell sounded, the Golden Boy became the Swollen Boy.

De La Hoya Pacquiao Boxing Vice President Noli De Castro ran toward a euphoric Manny Pacquiao and hugged him as soon as the People’s Champ was officially declared the winner. Filipinos who were watching the delayed telecast were wonderin’ how in the world did Noli sneak past Chavit Singson to make it into the ring.

Post fight interviews – in English – revealed a more articulate Manny Pacquiao. In fact, he now speaks better English than the vice president.

Sports analysts say Manny Pacquiao continue to validate his status as the world’s top pound-for-pound fighter. When Vice President De Castro heard this, he said, “Teka, Pilipino siya, hindi British. Dapat peso-for-peso fighter!”

mpac_chavit2
After the bout, deputy national security adviser Luis “Chavit” Singson did not climb into the ring as he did during Manny’s previous fights. His conspicuous absence fueled rumors he actually placed a huge bet on Oscar De La Hoya.

Reports say two people suffered fatal heart attacks while watching the historic Pacquiao-De La Hoya bout. But sorry to disappoint you guys, both fatalities were neither named Jocelyn nor Jose Miguel.

Hours before yesterday’s fight, former Philippine Daily Inquirer sports editor Al S. Mendoza, now a jabloid columnist, spoke with certainty on radio that De La Hoya would demolish Pacquiao because the Golden Boy, he said was “bigger, stronger, and a better fighter.” The Professional Heckler tried to get his reaction after the fight around 1pm but I was told that Mr. Mendoza was still finishing his hefty meal. You know what he had for lunch? His words.

GMA 7’s actual telecast of the Pacquiao-De La Hoya bout ended shortly before 4 o’clock in the afternoon. So delayed was the telecast that before it could even finish, De La Hoya’s cuts and bruises have all healed.

mpac_dio Mrs. Dionisia Pacquiao vowed to keep praying from the opening bell until such time that Pacquiao was declared the winner. She started at 11:30 am and finished at around 4… because she mistakenly thought GMA7′s telecast was live.

Because of the huge crowd at the MGM Grand Arena in Las Vegas, Karylle Padilla Tatlonghari admitted feeling very nervous while singing the Philippine National Anthem. She felt even more nervous when she saw Wilma Galvante in the crowd exchanging dagger looks with Annabelle Rama.

Briefly Noted
DZMM’s morning commentators (yup, those high-profile hecklers) are taking potshots at Pacquiao’s historic win, even insinuating the fight was fixed. Guess who was interviewed by Korina and Ted to give credence to their suspicion? Al Mendoza! Well, birds of a feather…

__________
I never expect to lose. Even when I’m the underdog, I still prepare a victory speech.
~ H. Jackson Brown Jr.

marky4 In Memoriam
Condolences to the family of young actor Marky Cielo who reportedly died in his sleep Sunday morning. He’s such a nice kid, genuinely nice. Our show will miss you Marky. He was only 20. Sigh. What a waste. Saludo na talaga ako kay former senator Ramon Revilla Sr. Ang tatag! (Oops, sorry. You’ve just been heckled!)





THE DREAM MATCH

6 12 2008


WHO SHALL WIN IT? The Golden Boy or the Pacman? That’s the million dollar question that’ll be answered tomorrow as Mexican-American Oscar De La Hoya and General Santos City’s pride Manny “Pacman” Peck-yow (as Michael Buffer would say it) duke it out in tomorrow’s Dream Match.

But wait, there are other questions albeit trivial ones that Filipinos (I for one) would love to know the answers as the two boxers face off in Las Vegas. So here goes the…


Top 10 “Other” Questions You Want Answered Before, During and After Tomorrow’s Dream Match

10: How would a heartbroken Karylle sing the Philippine National Anthem? Would she render a subdued version as Kyla did or would she do a Lani Misalucha who almost bungled the “Lupang Hinirang” in an apparent attempt to impress her “birit-loving” fans? Will the cameras pan in on Dingdong Dantes who is expected to watch the fight?

9: What special programs will ABS-CBN air to avert a looming Sunday ratings massacre?

8: How many hours will Nanay Dionesia Pacquiao spend praying the rosary?

7: Will there be a motorcade in Manila this time if Pacquiao wins the fight or will he continue to snub Mayor Alfredo Lim?

6. In the event that Manny Pacquiao wins it, how many members of the Atienza family will surround him as he grants television interviews when he returns to Manila?

5: How many product logos will be printed on Manny Pacquiao’s trunks?

4: What time will GMA 7 start airing the main bout: (A) 1pm (B) 2pm (C) Nakikipanood ka lang, nagrereklamo ka pa? (Since GMA 7 is not a member of the Kapisanan ng mga Brodkaster ng Pilipinas, is there another governing body or agency that ought to monitor, if not penalize commercial overloading?)

3: If Pacquiao wins and President Arroyo makes a call to congratulate him while he’s still in the ring, how many televiewers will turn off their television sets?

2: Lawmakers and other elective officials have probably spent hundreds of thousands of pesos in taxpayers’ money traveling to Las Vegas to watch the fight. So, excluding this large-scale larceny, what will be the nationwide crime rate tomorrow?

And the No. 1 “other” question you want answered before, during, and after tomorrow’s Dream Match…

1: Of the estimated 50 to 60 million Filipinos who are going to watch the telecast, how many will throw invectives at deputy national security adviser Luis “Chavit” Singson when he climbs up the boxing ring after the bout?

Survey Question:
If a Pacquiao loss would trigger First Gentleman Mike Arroyo’s heart attack, would you pray for a De La Hoya victory? Now that’s a tough one! Your nationalism is at stake. Think about it.

Good luck Manny!

_________
Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat.
~Vince Lombardi








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