MINUTES TO WIN IT

3 04 2013

CITING “credible sources within the administration,” Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz says Kris Aquino is running for vice president in 2016. If that happens, isang iyak n’ya lang, sira ang kalaban.

I don’t know which was more shocking: Kris Aquino running for vice president or Archbishop Cruz cozying up with administration people.

1krisarch
Citing “sources within the administration,” Archbishop Oscar Cruz, controversial TV host Kris Aquino is running for vice president in 2016. Pilipinas Got Problem.

But the outspoken Archbishop sees “nothing wrong” with Kris Aquino seeking public office saying “it takes so little to qualify for public office.” To which Nancy Binay said, “I know!”

Last Tuesday, April 2, Archbishop Oscar Cruz reported hearing rumors that Kris Aquino’s running for vice president in 2016. If that’s an April Fools’ Day joke Archbishop, you’re a day late.

Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz says he’s heard rumors that Kris Aquino is running for vice president in 2016. And in case you haven’t heard, Archbishop Cruz is the newest member of “The Buzz.”

jvjingg
JV vs. Jinggoy, Again
JV Ejercito declined Jinggoy Estrada’s offer to produce a TV advertisement endorsing his senatorial bid. Hurt by the rejection, Jinggoy declared that he’s entering a “state of war” with JV.

Political Ads
The Commmission on Elections revealed that from February 12 to March 22, UNA’s JV Ejercito was the top TV advertiser among senatorial candidates. Ejercito has consumed 26 minutes of airtime and 70 percent of Jinggoy’s patience.

Since the campaign period started, 17 senatorial aspirants with UNA’s JV Ejercito on top have consumed at least a minute of TV airtime. Surprisingly, Cynthia Villar was nowhere on the list. She has consumed all of 2012.

In local politics, Alfredo Lim and Joseph Estrada have both consumed 20 hours of mindless mudslinging.

As of March 22, Team PNoy’s Grace Poe and Alan Peter Cayetano have each consumed 60 minutes of MMK.

GMA Network had a total of 163.5 minutes of campaign ads – but that’s nothing compared to ‘Gandang Gabi Vice’ which had more than 10 episodes of political promos.

Pulse Asia
The latest Pulse Asia survey conducted from March 16 to 20 is out! Chiz Escudero has bounced back to No. 2. Sorry Ramon Tulfo! Sorry Mr. and Mrs. Ongpauco!

Pulse Asia conducted its survey at the height of the Heart-Chiz controversy. Pulse Asia to UNA: “Sorry talaga but we tried our best.”

The survey’s biggest loser was JV Ejercito who lost 5.2 percentage points. Jinggoy Estrada’s closest friends chorused: “Pa-burger ka naman! Burger! Burger!”

Satisfied
According to a Social Weather Stations survey, 4 out of 5 Filipinos are satisfied with their life.The survey was conducted in Congress.

In a recent SWS survey, 81 percent of Filipinos said they were satisfied with their life. The rest were honest.

Noynoy Vetoes Bill
President Aquino refused to sign into law a proposed measure that would have allowed short people to join the police force. This is all your fault GMA!

Absenteeism
Some senatorial candidates say a stiff fine must be imposed on lawmakers who are always absent in sessions. And Jules Ledesma was like, “Keri lang!”

KJUOverseas…
North Korea has declared war against South Korea. That’s really bad. The only thing worse is Kim Jong Un’s haircut.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un threatens to “dissolve” the United States. Shouldn’t he dissolve his excess fat first?

Born to a former leader, Kim Jong Un is a spoiled, bratty, attention-seeking person who’s reportedly fond of basketball players. Are we sure he’s not an Aquino?
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“Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.”
~Dick Francis, To the Hilt

1ERQuote of the Weak
“Hindi naman ako ordinaryong governor. Artista rin ako. At ‘di ako basta-bastang artista. Ako si Asiong Salonga at ako si El Presidente!”
~Re-electionist Laguna Governor ER Ejercito (Via TVPatrol/Kampanyaserye)

“Some people, when they grow old, they become elder statesmen. Some people when they grow old, they become rumormongers.”
~Palace spokesperson Edwin Lacierda on Archbishop Oscar Cruz

Enjoy the rest of the week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Philippine Daily Inquirer/MPQ3/Mirror-UK/Yahoo-OMGPH]





HISTORIC

13 12 2012

BEFORE DAWN Thursday, the House of Representatives approved on second reading the Reproductive Health Bill. Thank God!

After 14 long years, the Lower House – voting 113 to 104 approved on second reading the Reproductive Health Bill. That was historic! And then Jules Ledesma showed up to vote. That was miraculous!

Members of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines were in full force at the Lower House. But Congress still passed the bill. A historic vote despite the pre-historic presence.

Seated at the gallery was Lipa, Batangas Archbishop Ramon Arguelles who closely monitored the voting. Later, representatives from Batangas province (all 5 of them!) voted AGAINST the RH Bill. The five solons were commended by another anti-RH advocate, alcalde-mayor Vilma Santos.


In defending their votes, a number of congressmen mentioned the Catholic Church, the Apostles’ Creed, Mama Mary, and God Almighty – which prompted God to call and say, “Tigilan n’yo na ang panggagamit sa aking pangalan. Kapag nagnanakaw naman kayo, ‘di n’yo ako naaalala. Okthxbye.”

Sarangani Representative Manny Pacquiao voted against the RH Bill. Pacquiao has now lost three straight.

A congressman was quoted to have said, “If the Reproductive Health Bill was passed in the ‘50s, I’d probably would not be here today.” And his constituents were like, “Sayang!”

In voting ‘no’ to the RH Bill, outgoing marginalized sector representative Mikey Arroyo said, “Hindi ko pwedeng isuko ang aking pagka-Katoliko.” Didn’t you just do that when you married your second cousin?

Iloilo Rep. Augusto Syjuco recited the Apostles’ Creed in defending his vote against the bill. I wonder what prayer he recited when he was charged with plunder.

JinkeePacman Returns
The one, and the only Manny Pacquiao is back. On Wednesday morning, Pacman’s plane landed at round 6, excuse me, around 6.

According to Pacquiao’s assistant trainer, Buboy Fernandez, Manny’s first words upon regaining consciousness after his knock down was, “Boy, nasa’n ka?” To which, Jinkee Pacquio said, “Ah, ganun?! Fine! Hmpf!”

In Ring Magazine’s pound-for-pound ranking, Manny Pacquiao drops to No. 7. Floyd Mayweather Jr. is still No. 1 while Juan Manuel Marquez is at No. 3. The biggest surprise of all was Mommy Dionisia who’s now at No. 6.

From No. 2, Manny Pacquiao has dropped to No. 7 in Ring Magazine’s pound-for-pound ranking. But that was way better than Mon Tulfo who totally dropped out of the list.

Apparently, Canadian pop star Justin Bieber is not a fan of Manny Pacquiao. But I don’t think it’s fair to pillory Justin because of that. You have to understand the kid. In Canada, they only see boxing in hockey arenas.

A congressman has filed a resolution urging the Department of Education to include the inspiring life story of sports icon Manny Pacquiao in the curriculum of grade school pupils. As a sign of gratitude, Pacquiao will file a resolution urging the Commission on Higher Education to include the life story of other congressmen in financial management.

popePope Online
Pope Benedict XVI has finally tweeted. In his first tweet, he addressed his followers as “Friends.” Cool! The next time he uses “Dude,” I’ll be more impressed.

In his sixth tweet, the Pope asked for suggestions on how “to be more prayerful when we are so busy with the demands of work, families and the world.” His followers replied, “BRB, may tatapusin lang.”

Pope Benedict XVI a.k.a. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany is now on Twitter. Beware! Rumors say he’s a grammar Nazi.

nikoSalvaged Online
Atenean cager Nico Salva was criticized and lambasted by netizens (mostly Azkal fans) for tweeting that the football match (Suzuki Cup semifinals) on TV last Wednesday night was boring. I have no idea what Salva was talking about. I fell asleep.

The Azkals lost that match against Singapore. And for the Azkaleros, the last thing you wanna read was a tweet like Salva’s. I totally understand them. Nobody understands the pain of losing more than us, Lakers fans.

Friendster
Apparently, gaming website Friendster is bringing back its social networking features. In other news, Nokia is bringing back 3210.
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“I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”
~ George Carlin

Quote of the Day
“In the dying seconds of my 6th round vs Marquez, a single punch knocked me out. Some thought I was dead. What happened in Vegas strengthened my already firm belief of the sanctity of life.”
~Sarangani Rep. Manny Pacquiao defending his vote against the RH Bill

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.








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