JUANCE AND FOR ALL

9 12 2012

BREAKING: Filipinos’ hearts.

IT WAS A tough night for boxing legend Manny Pacquiao. He was knocked out in the sixth round by Juan Manuel Marquez and got 25 million dollars! Yeah, tough night.

pacmanManny Pacquiao was knocked out by Juan Manuel Marquez in the sixth round of their fourth (non-title) bout. It was only the second knock down for Pacquiao – since he was knocked out by Darlene Antonino-Custodio in 2007.

Juan Manuel Marquez knocked out Manny Pacquiao in Round 6. The Filipino boxer lay motionless on the canvas for several minutes… prompting Floyd Mayweather Jr to demand that he be tested for sedatives.

Defeated US presidential candidate Mitt Romney met and shook hands with Manny Pacquiao before the fight. That handshake sealed the fate of Manny.

Reports say Mitt Romney initiated the brief conversation with Pacquiao saying, “Hello Manny, I ran for president. I lost.” And Pacquiao was like, “O, sinong nagpapasok dito?”

Mommy Dionisia Pacquiao says Pacquiao’s change of religion was to blame for his recent losses. To which, God said, “Manisi ba?”

JinkeePacquiao’s defeat stunned his wife, Jinkee. Either that, or she just looks stunned.

Just like the rest of her countrymen, Jinkee Pacquiao was shocked. You can tell ‘coz you can see it in her face eyes.

ESPN Stats showed Manny Pacquiao landed more jabs and more power punches. Pacman made 94 while Marquez had 51. In fact, Marquez’ 51 was less impressive than Claudine Barretto’s 68.

Manny Pacquiao got knocked down. I wish he was another congressman (or party-list representative).

c
While Bob Arum was talking about the possibility of a fifth fight, Juan Manuel Marquez was telling the media that he’s not too keen about it. He looks forward to fighting Chris Brown instead.

Almost 30 Filipino congressmen were present at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas during the Pacquiao-Marquez bout. And there was this awkward moment when ring announcer Michael Buffer dared the congressmen to put the RH Bill to a vote.

In the metro, authorities anticipated zero crime rate. Until Round 6.

Manny Pacquiao admitted that he got over confident during the fight. But he’s not giving any excuses. What’s important is he showed his talent and proved that he still got the skills. Despite the fall, he’s safe now. And this just in: He has a new sponsor: Salem bed.

On the eve of the Pacquiao-Marquez fight, Malacañang predicted a Pacquiao victory. Pageant aficionados are calling on Malacañang to NOT predict a win for Miss Universe candidate Janine Tugonon.

BREAKING NEWS: The local government of Mexico City has just announced that Friday is a non-working day in the city. The mayor, in floral shirt, together with one of his sons, and son-in-law will lead the Marquez motorcade.
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“When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.”
~Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

cQuotes of the Day
“Ginawa nating ang lahat, at talaga naman na kailangang tanggapin natin. ‘Yan ang trabaho natin, hindi lahat ng panahon ay panalo.”
~Manny Pacquiao (via ABS-CBN)

“Sabihin ko kay Bob Arum, stop na. Hindi hayop ang anak ko; tao siya. Ayoko na. Ang trabaho niya focus na lang sa pulitika. Iwanan na lang niya ang pag-boxing.”
~Mommy Dionisia Pacquiao (via GMA News)

juanma
No to Corruption
Lest you forget, President Aquino recently declared December 9 as National Anti-Corruption Day! Or as many Customs officials and personnel would call it, “Unfair!”

Have a peaceful and safe week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Jinkee Photo via @cesdrilon/ Meme via @charlestiu]





AND STILL…

13 11 2011

THIS JUST IN: Mexicans believe that the Philippines missed its zero crime rate target today, November 13. They insist that Juan Manuel Marquez was robbed.


Manny Pacquiao scored a majority decision victory against Mexico’s Juan Manuel Marquez. The three judges scored the fight 114-114, 116-112, and 115-113. As expected, Mar Roxas demanded a recount.

The People’s Champ won against Juan Manuel Marquez in their battle for the WBO Welterweight title in Las Vegas. Pacman’s next assignment is much tougher – Jinkee Pacquiao.

Juan Manuel Marquez sustained minor bruises and cuts and is now being treated at a nearby hospital. President Aquino has offered to foot the bill.

Some experts find the results too controversial saying Juan Manuel Marquez should have been declared winner. Susan Roces accused the judges of stealing victory from Marquez’ not just once but twice.

President Aquino congratulated Manny Pacquiao for yet another victory. Rumors say the President himself saw the fight, and he thought Pacman won by a hairline.


Because of the controversial outcome of this epic trilogy, Sen. Lito Lapid is hoping to see a fourplogy.

Mexicans are furious. They insist that Marquez won the fight. To which Pacquiao said, “Eh ‘di magsumbong kayo sa lolo n’yong panot!”

By beating Marquez, the People’s Champ sustained his amazing winning streak. He’s been scoring wins for like, forever. In Makati, they have a term for that: Binay.

Manny Pacquiao edged Juan Manuel Marquez on a very tight decision. The only thing tighter was Jinkee’s face.

Even Vicki Belo who watched the fight at the MGM Grand Garden Arena appeared shocked by the decision. Either that, or it’s her natural look.


After his controversial win, Pacquiao will have to convince the fans that he deserved it even as he needs to convince Jinkee that he didn’t do “it.”

Everyone is now talking about the fight between Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez. Take that Genelyn Magsaysay and Bong Revilla!

A day before the controversial bout, Manny Pacquiao and wife Jinkee allegedly figured in a nasty fight inside their suite at the Mandalay Bay Resort Hotel and Casino. All three judges scored the fight 116-112 in favor of Jinkee.


YouTube discovery Maria Aragon sang the Philippine National Anthem while fellow Filipina, American Idol alumna Thia Megia performed “The Star Spangled Banner.” There was this brief commotion though when Anne Curtis suddenly appeared and insisted on singing another song.

After the singing of the national anthems of the Philippines, Mexico and the United States, the introduction of both fighters followed. I’m not really sure but I think I heard Michael Buffer said, “In the blue corner, from the nation with the world’s largest crocodile, the fifth most hated airport, and 1 of the 7 wonders of nature, Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao!”

In a pre-fight poll conducted by the Philippine Daily Inquirer, 74.3 percent predicted that Manny Pacquiao would win. The rest are still in shock.

Manny Pacquiao earned $22M from the fight. Juan Manuel Marquez earned our respect.

Breaking News: Lintang Bedol has reportedly sent feelers to the World Boxing Organization saying he wanted to testify against the three judges.
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“Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.”
~Wilma Rudolph

Quotes of the Week
“It’s very clear I won the fight.”
~Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao

“Marquez is your Joe Frazier.”
~Host Mario Lopez to Manny Pacquiao after the controversial fight

You Have Spoken
Sang-ayon ba kayo sa alok ni Pangulong Aquino na gobyerno ang gumastos sa biyahe ng foreign doctor na dadalhin sa bansa upang tumingin kay GMA?
-Oo naman. Humane na, sure pang ‘di matatakasan ang kaso. 8.68%
-Huh? Bakit?!? Sakit niya, gastos niya! 31.4%
-Kung gusto ng Pangulo, pera niya ang gastusin ‘wag pera ng bayan. 59.92%

Have a great week ahead! Congratulations Manny Pacquiao!

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I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.





CHICKEN CROSSING (VERSION 2008)

19 03 2008

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Here’s why according to controversial Filipino personalities (government officials, politicians, prominent businessmen, and local celebrities):

21: Lolit Solis: “Ma at pa! Basta! Sure ako sa aking nakita! Tumawid ang manok na ‘yan at may kasama pa siyang isa. Hinding-hindi ako magre-retract.”

20: ABS-CBN: “Somebody manipulated the chicken into crossing the road and we believe that the manipulator comes from another network.”

19: GMA 7: “We strongly condemn the insinuation that we were involved in the manipulation of the chicken. We will take this baseless allegation to court to clear our name.”

18: Juan Manuel Marquez: “To do some unfinished business.”

17: Manny Pacquiao: “I don’t agree. For me, business is over.”

16: Tim Yap/The Gucci Gang: “To party! (And snort some stuff.)”

15: Bb. Pilipinas-World Janina San Miguel: “Oh I’m sorry. A-ha-ha. I’m only 17 years old. I did not expect that the chickens is a tough hens.”

14: MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando: “Pano’ng di tatawid ‘yan eh wala nang madaanan sa sidewalk. Okupado ng vendors!”

13: Joseph Estrada: “A legal study shows that the chicken can still cross the road even if it has failed to complete its first attempt to get to the other side.”

12: Albay Gov. Joey Salceda: “The important thing is the chicken didn’t get run over. Such a lucky bitch!”

11: Cory Aquino: “Why did the chicken cross the road? Let us all pray so that the truth will come out.”

10: President Arroyo: “I reiterate: my government is focused on the economy. We will not be bothered by the noise created by some fowls marching in some streets.”

9: CBCP: “We are also for the truth and we believe that no one should prevent witnesses from talking. But please, leave the chicken alone and let it finish its journey to the other side!”

8: Sen. Joker Arroyo: “Don’t mess around with my chicken!”

7: Sen. Jamby Madrigal: “Let’s subpoena the chicken and ask why. If it refuses to talk, I will expose its secrets.”

6: Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “I have a surprise witness who will tell us why the chicken crossed the road. Ladies and gentlemen… my witness!”

5: Leo San Miguel: “Aba malay ko! Wala akong alam d’yan.”

4: Benjamin Abalos: “Preposterous! I categorically deny na nagbanta akong ipapapatay ang manok na ‘yan kaya biglang tumawid sa kabila!”

3: CHEd Chairman Romulo Neri: “I heard that motorists always try to beat the red light in that street. I believe the chicken crossed the road to moderate their speed.”

2: Jun Lozada: “Kinabahan kasi ang chicken nang lapitan ito ng tatlong tandang na hindi nagpakilala. Naalala tuloy niya ang nangyari noon kina McChicken at Chickenjoy… kinidnap tapos pinatay.”

And the No. 1 answer to the question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

1: First Gentleman Mike Arroyo: “You keep saying that the chicken crossed the road but where is your evidence!? Maglabas muna kayo ng ebidensya!”

HERE’S TWO MORE:
Philippine Daily Inquirer (Banner Story): “Unnamed sources say the chicken crossed the road to lay eggs”

Two days later…

Philippine Daily Inquirer (Erratum): “We would like to apologize to the chicken. It couldn’t possibly lay eggs as what we have previously reported because the chicken was in fact – a rooster!”

Enjoy your vacation!





WHAAAAPAC!

16 03 2008

Victory for Pacquiao

Filipino boxing great Manny Pacquiao won against WBC super-featherweight champ Juan Manuel Marquez, successfully stealing the world title from the Mexican pugilist. First Gentleman Mike Arroyo, Cong. Jose De Venecia, and other Filipino politicians who intently watched the fight, were able to relate with Manny. I mean, not to his winning but – to the “stealing.”

First Gentleman Mike Arroyo, recently tagged as a member of the “Greedy Group,” personally called Manny Pacquiao after the latter’s triumph against Marquez. Rumors say Mr. Arroyo and Pacquiao talked about “the cut.” As of press time though, it couldn’t be determined if the “cut” being referred to was Manny’s wound or “something else.”

In a post fight interview, veteran sports columnist and boxing analyst Recah Trinidad said, “Objectively, Marquez should have won that fight by one point.” It wouldn’t surprise me if the Senate files a resolution calling for a probe.

Manny Pacquiao earned a hard-fought victory against Mexican champion Juan Manuel Marquez sending the whole nation into a frenzy. Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada’s 15 minutes of fame could soon be over.

null Manny Pacquiao won against Juan Manuel Marquez. After winning the title, he was interviewed on live television by an American sports anchor. And believe me, this high school graduate spoke English way better than the Bb. Pilipinas-World titlist who’s a masscom major.

Briefly Noted

null

Almost two hours after Manny Pacquiao won over Juan Manuel Marquez, GMA 7 started its exclusive delayed coverage of the fight. So delayed was the telecast that even before the winner was declared, Marquez has already landed in his hometown in Mexico.

GMA 7 took advantage of its exclusive coverage rights and inserted advertisements in every opportunity. In the singing of the Philippine, Mexican, and the US national anthems alone, the Kapuso network inserted three long gaps for its sponsors – somehow forcing Filipino viewers to set a Guinness record of sorts for the highest number of profanity uttered while watching a single TV special. (“Put*ng ina, patalastas na naman!” “Hayup naman ‘tong channel na to, tambak ang commercials!” “F*ck! Another commercial gap!?” “Sh*t patalastas ulit!” The list is endless.)

GMA 7’s coverage of “Unfinished Business” – the Pacquiao vs. Marquez fight, attracted quite a number of advertisers. In fact, so great was the number of ads that GMA 7’s coverage of the next Pacquiao fight will be dubbed “Unfinished Commercials.”

null Starlet Ciara Sotto, daughter of a former Philippine senator, sang the Philippine National Anthem before the Pacquiao-Marquez fight. Wala lang.

Jinggoy Estrada denied that he left the country to watch Manny Pacquiao’s fight in Las Vegas as erroneously reported by the Philippine Daily Inquirer in its banner story Saturday. Estrada said, “This is another case of malicious news reporting, without checking the facts or even getting the reaction of the concerned individual.” But don’t be too hard on the Inquirer. It’s just being consistent.

Good News: Dahil sa panalo, Pacquiao may pangakong balato sa mga Pilipino
Bad News: Pangakong balato… isang pelikulang bago! (Parang awa mo na, magboksing ka na lang!)

IN OTHER NEWS…

A son of Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim has been arrested in a drug buy-bust operation in Sta. Cruz, Manila Friday night. Apparently, because Lim was so busy spraying other suspected drug dealers’ houses with “Pusher ang nakatira dito,” he didn’t notice that a similar activity was going on in his own home.

Have a great week ahead!








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