MR. RO-ROxas

Secretary Mar
Defeated vice presidential candidate Mar Roxas has been appointed DoTC secretary. Roxas was reportedly the unanimous choice – of the members of the Samar Group.

Former senator Mar Roxas has finally accepted the top post in the DoTC. Executive Secretary Jojo Ochoa is throwing a victory party.

Mar Roxas will no longer be appointed presidential chief of staff. Jojo Binay’s winning streak continues.

Before he was named DoTC secretary, Mar Roxas was supposed to be appointed presidential chief of staff. It was a choice between a vacant post and an imaginary one.

Following his appointment, incoming DoTC secretary Mar Roxas said he’s picked a theme song, “Trains and Boats and Planes” by Dionne Warwick. Meanwhile, his subordinate in the LTO – Virginia Torres has also chosen her theme song, “Babalik Ka Rin.”

Reports say President Aquino and Mar Roxas had a heart-to-heart talk lasting three long hours Monday night. The meeting would have not lasted that long if it was a mind-to-heart talk.

Reports say President Aquino had a heart-to-heart talk with Mar Roxas Monday night. After three long hours, he accepted his offer – the first time in more than a year that someone actually said “yes” to the President.

The following tweets were intercepted minutes after President Aquino announced the appointment of former senator Mar Roxas:

MrPalengke
Mula Presidente to VP to Chief of Staff to DoTC? Hanggang kailan ako magpaparaya?
11 minutes ago

RatedK
@MrPalengke Ewan ko sa ‘yo! Maghanap ka ng katabi mo tonight!
7 minutes ago

TheRealNoynoy
@MrPalengke What’s with the tweet? We’ve talked about this right?
7 minutes ago

SayChiz
Binabati ko ang bagong kalihim. Ipinapangako ko pong bibilisan namin sa Commission on Appointments ang pagkumpirma sa kanya. (Baka magbago pa ang isip n’ya, mahirap na!)
6 minutes ago

DeQuiros_Inq
A very bad choice. For several reasons. (Watch out for my column on this subject tomorrow.)
5 minutes ago

Official_Samar
Congratulations team! To 2016 and beyond!
3 minutes ago

Jojo_Ocho_Ocho
Inuman naaaaa!
2 minutes ago

Rambotito_B
@Official_Samar @Jojo_Ocho_Ocho Uy! Hintayin n’yo muna akong makauwi. Sama ako d’yan!
2 minutes ago

Official_Balay
May araw din kayo!
1 minute ago

OnTheVerge_Torres_LTO
@MrPalengke eow powz! paramdam lang. zee you zoon zir!
30 seconds ago

MommyD
@ Jojo_Ocho_Ocho Malaswaaaaa!
20 seconds ago

Breaking News!
There’s an emerging player in the real estate industry. The Bureau of Corrections!

ARMM Elections
Voting 13-7, the Senate has approved a bill postponing this year’s ARMM elections to 2013. Incumbent officials will be replaced though by officers-in-charge to be appointed by Malacañang. President Aquino is expected to hold a jobs fair in August for qualified Liberal Party members only.

The Senate & the Lower House have voted to postpone the ARMM elections. Disappointed with the outcome of the voting, socialite Tingting Cojuangco has left for Tunisia where elections are expected to happen soon.

Overseas…
New York Representative Anthony Weiner finally admitted that he sent a lewd photo of his underwear-clad crotch to a young woman over Twitter. But Weiner says he will not resign… although he is close to accepting an offer to become the next IMF chief.

Despite admitting that he lied about sending lewd pictures to women, New York Rep. Anthony Weiner refuses to resign. The embattled solon is prepared to face all the charges that may be leveled against him. That’s according to his spokesperson, Elena Bautista-Horn.
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“Power, like a desolating pestilence,
Pollutes whate’er it touches.”
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

You Have Spoken
Full military honors para sa dating pangulo at diktador na si Ferdinand Marcos. Your take:
- Puwede na ‘yon. 30.08%
- Insulto pa rin sa mga biktima ng Martial Law. 61.65%
- Wala akong pakialam. 8.27%

Elsewhere
Manila Times: Why Ping de Jesus was sacked, the inside story

Newsbreak: Our Beijing envoy

What the Fox! Fox News uses Tina Fey picture for Sarah Palin story

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HOLY STORMS!

Narito ang updated na talaan ng mga bagyong pumasok, papasok o kasalukuyang nasa loob ng Pilipinas:

Bagyong Mar Roxas
Inaasahang papasok sa Philippine area of responsibility sa darating na Hunyo. Nangangamba ang marami sa posibleng pagsasalubong nila ng Bagyong Jojo Ochoa. Maaari daw itong magdulot ng dobleng peligro sa bansa.

Bagyong Jojo Ochoa
Tahimik lamang ang bagyong ito ngunit malalaman mong paparating na siya dahil pasuray-suray ang pagtahak niya sa kanyang dinadaanan.

Bagyong Edwin Lacierda
Matapos manalanta, sinisi niya ang forecast ng PAGASA. Mali-mali daw ang facts at figures na inilalabas ng weather bureau.

Bagyong Leila De Lima
Napakatapang na bagyo. Matatalim na kidlat at kulog ang dala ngunit walang gaanong ulan kaya’t minimal ang pinsala. May isang obserbasyon nga lang ang mga kritiko ng Bagyong Leila: kung saan-saang lugar daw siya pumapasok.

Bagyong Panfilo Lacson
Kahit moderno na ang instrumento ng pamahalaan, nahirapan pa rin silang ma-detect ang galaw ng bagyong ito. Hanggang ngayon, palaisipan pa rin kung sang bahagi ng mundo siya nagmula.

Bagyong Manny Pacquiao
“Jeremiah 23:19 Narito, ang bagyo ng Panginoon, ang kaniyang kapusukan, ay lumabas, oo, ipu-ipong bagyo: babagsak sa ulo ng masama.” You know.

Bagyong Mommy Dionisia
Pinapayuhang mag-ingat ‘yong malaswa, ‘yong mga taong malaswaaaaa!

Bagyong Juan Ponce Enrile
Pinakamatagal sa puwesto; hindi gumagalaw. Dumaan na ang iba pang sama ng panahon, nananalasa pa rin siya.

Bagyong Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
Siyam na taong nanalanta sa Pilipinas. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa tuluyang nakakabangon ang bansa sa pinsalang kanyang idinulot.

Bagyong Tingting Cojuangco
Nabigla ang mga weather forecasters sa ikinilos kamakailan ng sosyal na bagyong ito. Matapos manalanta sa Central Luzon noong early 1990s, nagpaparamdam ito ngayon sa dakong Mindanao bilang isang weather disturbance. Gayunman, wala pang katiyakan kung siya ay magiging ganap na bagyo.

Bagyong Imelda Marcos
Dekada sesenta pa nang ito ay unang manalasa sa bansa. Libu-libo ang nasawi, nasugatan, at hanggang ngayon ay nawawala dahil sa kanyang bagsik. Inalis na ang kanyang pangalan sa opisyal na talaan ng mga bagyo ngunit sa ‘di maipaliwanag na pangyayari, matagumpay siyang nakabalik at patuloy pa rin sa pananalasa.

Bagyong Ernesto Diokno
Matapos magdulot ng pinsala, tumanggi siyang akuin ang responsibilidad at ipinasa ito sa mas mahihinang bagyo. Sinisi rin niya ang mga nagdaang sama ng panahon. Bagamat bahagyang humina, nananatili pa rin ito sa puwesto dahil malakas daw ang kapit kay Lord.

Bagyong Antonio Leviste
Ang inisyal na forecast ay stationary lamang ito ngunit marami ang nagulat nang ma-detect siya ng ABS-CBN News Weather Bueau sa dakong Makati at Maynila. Iniimbestigahan na ang mga awtoridad sa kabiguan nilang ma-monitor ang galaw ni Bagyong Leviste.

Bagyong Manny V. Pangilinan
Mayaman sa ulan at hangin. Tuwing kumukulog at kumikidlat, nawawalan ng signal ang Globe!

Bagyong CBCP
Matagal-tagal na rin ang ginagawa nitong pananalanta sa Pilipinas. Sa tuwing magrereklamo ang mga tao sa dala niyang pinsala, nagbabanta ito ng walang tigil na pag-ulan at pagbaha upang lipulin ang “masasama.”

Bagyong Jejomar Binay
Napanatili nito ang maximum strength na sinimulang ipunin noong 1986. Lalo pang tumindi ang kanyang gustiness after 2010. Bagamat matindi ang dulot na pinsala, hindi ito gaanong napapansin dahil marami din namang natulungan ang dala niyang ulan. Matapos tumama sa Kamaynilaan, nakatutok naman ang mata ng Bagyong Binay sa mas malawak at mas matinding pananalanta sa iba’t ibang panig ng bansa sa 2016.

Bagyong Noynoy Aquino
Tuwid na direksyon ang tinatahak ng bagyong ito ngunit napakabagal at may katamaran. Tanghali na kung ito ay kumilos kaya’t inaabot nang madaling araw ang pananalanta. Walang gaanong ulan ngunit malakas ang hanging bumabayo kaya’t binansagan din itong ‘tuyot na bagyo.’
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“Life is like a rainbow. You need both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear.”
~Author Unknown

Today’s Forecast in Sports
“The Miami Heat will beat the Dallas Mavericks in June. They will be crowned 2010-2011 NBA champs and LeBron James will finally receive his first ever championship ring.” — American Christian radio broadcaster and preacher Harold Camping

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NEWS/CASH

STARTING MONDAY, November 8, a former vice president, a former congressman, and a former senator’s wife will anchor ‘TV Patrol.’ Apparently, there was ‘politics’ in the drastic change.

TV5 is unfazed by the changes on ‘TV Patrol.’ On ‘Willing Willie,’ it will field an ex-future First Lady.

Valenzuela City Councilor Shalani Soledad said she was persuaded to accept the co-hosting offer of TV5 because she’ll be doing “public service.” When NBN4 executives heard this, they said, “Sayang! Had we known, inoffer sana namin sa kanya ang ‘Damayan!’”

Shalani Soledad has joined TV5 as co-host of Willie Revillame’s game show. This confirms her break up with the president.

In an interview, Willie Revillame said Shalani Soledad reminded him of the late Princess Diana. Shalani returned the compliment by telling Willie he reminded her of Princess Punzalan.

Radical changes are being implemented by ‘TV Patrol’ and ‘Willing Willie.’ Meanwhile, GMA 7 is monitoring both stations, beinte-kwatro oras.

‘TV Patrol’ has two new anchors; ‘Willing Willie’ has a new co-host… and ’24Oras’ has a new plug.

Meanwhile…
Sources say Karen Davila has yet to decide on her next move after being annihilated from ‘TV Patrol.’ Karen dismissed rumors she’s joining ‘Pilipinas, Win na Win.’

To give way to Julius Babao, Henry Omaga Diaz was removed from the late-night newscast ‘Bandila.’ He has since been given a ‘morning’ assignment.

Ces Drilon, the significant other of a Presidential Communications Group secretary will remain on ‘Bandila.’ This info was leaked to the press even before an official announcement was made.

The popular children’s show ‘Batibot’ is also making a TV comeback via TV5. Remember Big Bird on ‘Sesame Street?’ Rumors say ‘Batibot’ will have a similar female character. To give you an idea of how she would look like, right click here.

Light Bites
Elizabeth Barrett Browning:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”

President Aquino to Mar Roxas:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the null votes.”

President Aquino to Interior Undersecretary Rico E. Puno:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the guns.”

Vice President Jejomar Binay to “brod:”
“How do I love thee? Let me count the defense lawyers.”

Supreme Court to UP Law:
“How do I love thee? Let me copy some ways.”

Mai Mislang to Vietnam:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the pogi.”

Gabby Lopez to Noli De Castro:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the cash.”

Congressman Kapalmuks to pork barrel:
“How do I loot thee? Let me count the ways.”

CBCP to LBTG Rights advocates:
“How do I loathe thee? Let me count the gays.”

Exec. Secretary Paquito ‘Jojo’ Ochoa to Vina Morales:
“How do I love thee? Let me drink to that!”

ABS-CBN to Willie Revillame:
“How do I loathe thee? Let me count the suits.”

First Philippine Industrial Corp. (FPIC) to West Tower Condominium residents:
“How do I ‘leak’ thee? Let me count the pipes.”

Karen Davila to ABS-CBN:
“How do I leave thee? Let me count the offers.”

Hayden Kho to Vicki Belo:
“How do I love thee? Let me count the surgeries.”

Councilor Shalani Soledad to President Aquino:
“How do I spite thee? Let me count on Willie.”
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“When television is good, nothing is better. When it’s bad, nothing is worse.”
~Newton N. Minow

Survey Says
Sinibak ka sa TV Patrol, ano ang gagawin mo kung ikaw si Karen Davila?
- Wala lang. Deadma. Tanggapin ang Bandila. 22.65%
- Masakit. Baka sundan ko ang aking mister sa TV5. 51.22%
- Mag-iisip muna ako. Relax lang. 26.13%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

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