JANET LIM-NAPOLES… LIVE!

8 09 2013

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SIX CLOSED-CIRCUIT television (CCTV) cameras were installed in and out of Janet Lim-Napoles’ bungalow-type detention facility at Fort Sto. Domingo in Sta. Rosa, Laguna. The Philippine National Police says live footage will not be made available to the public – but there will be hourly updates from Toni Gonzaga and Bianca Gonzalez.

Lawyer Lorna Kapunan says her client’s detention is not a “reality show.” Napoles is having a hard time accepting that what’s happening right now is real.

Members of the PNP Special Action Force are monitoring the CCTV feed. Last night, they were a bit shocked when MTRCB Chair Toto Villareal suddenly appeared on the screen and said, “Responsibilidad nating lahat na bantayan ang pinapanood ng pulisya. Para mas enjoy tayo sa pinapalabas at hindi… pinalalabas.”

BREAKING! A CD was sent to this blogger by an anonymous source from Fort Sto. Domingo. It contained tapped conversations between Jenny Napoles and a mystery man. He are some excerpts.

VOICE: Janet, lumabas ka sa sala. Dalhin mo ang iyong unan, at ihanda ang sarili sa susunod na task.
JLN: Sige po Kuya.

Maupo ka Janet.
Salamat po Kuya.

Ano ang naramdaman mo ngayong nag-iisa ka na rito?
Nakakatakot po Kuya pero wala naman akong choice, ‘di ba? Pinasok ko ‘to.

Janet, libu-libo ang nag-audition para sa slot mo. Ano ang feeling na ikaw ang napili?
Nagulat po ako Kuya kasi puwede namang iba na lang ang nasa puwesto ko. Siguro nga, minalas lang po ako Kuya.

Habang narito ka Janet, marami kang pagdadaanang tasks at challenges. Ano ba ang expectations mo?
Kasi po Kuya, gusto kong maging winner. Bata pa lang ako sa Basilan, ambisyon ko na talagang maging winner. So ‘yon po, sana manalo ako.

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Dr. Randy Dellosa (Resident Psychologist): Dapat nating unawain ang sitwasyon ni Janet. Lumaki kasi siya sa hirap kaya’t nasa puso’t isipan niya ang ambisyon, ang hangaring makaahon. Hindi nakapagtatakang when she saw an opportunity, sinamantala niya ‘yon. Underscore ‘sinamantala.’

Pati ba naman dito, may eksena ka pa rin Doc Randy? Anyway, Janet, alam mo ba ang kantang “Pinoy Ako” ng Orange and Lemons?
Opo Kuya.

Alam mo na ang gagawin mo Janet. Anytime na patugtugin ‘yan sa Fort Sto. Domingo compound, sasayaw ka. Maliwanag ba?
Kailangan po ba talaga ‘yon Kuya?

Gano’n talaga Janet. Kailangang magmukha kang tanga. Marami nang gumawa niyan sa telebisyon. Kasama ‘yan sa rules.
Ok po Kuya.

Sanga pala Janet, lahat ng pumapasok sa bahay na ito, may ginagamit na alias. Halimbawa: ‘Kilabot ng Caloocan,’ ‘Pretty Pasaway ng Pasig’ o kaya ‘Dashing Debonaire ng Davao.’
Parang pang-teen edition naman ‘yan Kuya. Wala po bang ibang examples?

Meron Janet. Ilan sa mga kilalang taong nakulong na rito ay gumamit ng mga alias na “Kudeta Kid,” “Monster ng Mindanao” at “Anak ng Jueteng.” Anong alyas ang gusto mong gamitin?
Pwede po bang “Innocent Beauty of Basilan” Kuya?

Hindi ko mapapayagan ‘yan Janet. Baka maakusahan ako ng special treatment.
Sige po Kuya. Iba na lang. Pwede na ba ang “Poor Darling of Discovery Suites?”

Lalong hindi pwede Janet. Hindi ka poor.
Kayo na lang po Kuya ang mag-suggest. Wala na po akong maisip.

Fine! Mula ngayon Janet, ang gagamitin mong alias ay “Bathtub Babe ng Basilan.”
Grabe ka naman Kuya. Masyadong judgmental.

May reklamo ka Janet?
Wala po Kuya.

Mabuti! Sige, bumalik ka na sa iyong kuwarto at matulog. Mas mahirap ang task mo bukas.
Ano pong task Kuya?

Magsasabi ka ng totoo!
Diyos ko naman Kuya! Sobrang hirap naman no’n! Wala po bang iba?

Sige, Option 2: Ikaw ang magmi-make up sa iyong abogado!
Ay! Option 1 na nga lang ulit Kuya. Magsasabi na lang ako ng totoo.

Good night Janet.
Good night po Kuya.

- End of Conversation –

1KThe Truth
Lawyer Joel Bodegon says, “like anyone else,” his client, Bong Revilla “is interested to know the truth.” To which the ‘truth’ replied, “We already know each other.”

According to lawyer Joel Bodegon, his client Bong Revilla is doing his own investigation “of all the allegations against him.” I’m sure it will be a fair and impartial probe.

Joel Bodegon says the allegations being leveled against his client, Bong Revilla are “lies.” Related: Did you know that the term “honest lawyer” is an oxymoron? Ask your English teacher.

Rich, Richer
Records obtained by Rappler showed Jinggoy Estrada’s net worth grew by 133 percent in just six years. In other news, public disgust for him grew by 1,000 percent in just two months.

Global Prayer
Pope Francis has led a global prayer for peace in Syria. He should lead another global prayer for honesty in the Philippine government.

Lipstick Warning
The Food and Drug Administration warned the public against 13 unregistered lipstick products in the market that contain high levels of lead. Attention: Attorney Kapunan.
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“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”
~ Voltaire

Sound Bites
“Makati is not bound by Secretary Roxas’ flawed interpretation of the law. He should not play politics here. As a government official, he is bound by his obligation to respect the law and the decisions of the court.”
~Makati City Mayor Junjun Binay reacting to DILG Sec. Mar Roxas’ statement that the police must observe status quo, i.e. Fort Bonifacio is still part of Taguig City

Have a safe and productive week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.








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