WINNERS, LOSERS II

16 05 2013

THE TRANSMISSION of election returns has slowed down. To give you an idea of how slow it has become, when the counting started, Chairman Brillantes didn’t have a single strand of white hair.

And when the counting started, the Philippines and Taiwan were still friends!

PCOSPrediction
Last month, Comelec Chairman Sixto Brillantes Jr. predicted that 12 winning senators would be proclaimed in 48 hours after the polls. In making the bold prediction though, Brillantes failed to disclose something – he was of Mayan descent.

Winners All
In the 2013 midterm elections, Grace Poe emerged as the biggest winner. She was closely followed by ABS-CBN and GMA Network.

Lucky
Losing in the initial tally, reelectionist Mayor Mariano Malones Sr. of Maasin, Iloilo conceded defeat to his opponent Elben Malaga only to win by FIVE votes after the final count. Malaga is filing a case against Malones for giving him false hope.

Also reelected was the controversial Albay governor Joey Salceda. Bongga!

Camarines Sur’s youngest governor Migz Villafuerte vows to continue the Villafuerte legacy. Cam Sur is still one of the poorest provinces in the country. You might want to reconsider that hijo.

After serving time for drug possession, Ronald Singson is back in Ilocos, back in politics, and back in Congress. He refuses to go back to Hong Kong though.

Atty. Leni Robredo scored a landslide win against Nelly Villafuerte, the matriarch of the influential Villafuerte clan and dynasty of Camarines Sur. Robredo got 102,694 votes while Villafuerte got embarrassed.

Annabelle Concedes
Trounced by former lawmaker Raul Del Mar in Cebu’s north district, talent manager Annabelle Rama tweeted, “I shall return.” Cebuanos replied, “Don’t bother.”

After conceding defeat in Cebu, Annabelle Rama tweeted, “Its not the end of my political career.” Correction: It ended before it began.

Addressing her Twitter followers, defeated congressional candidate Annabelle Rama said, “Its not the end of my political career.” Netizens replied, “It’s.”

PCOSCelebs Win/Lose
Winning in the initial count, actor Aga Muhlach is now losing to Wimpy Fuentebella by a slim margin. “Now you know the feeling.” – Richard Gomez

Anjo Yllana won as councilor in Quezon City’s fifth district. It turned out that voters in that area in QC were former residents of Parañaque City.

Joey Marquez was unsuccessful yet again in Parañaque. In recent years, he’s been losing elections in the city. One more loss and he’ll just transfer to QC.

In Batangas, award-winning actor Christopher De Leon placed a distant third in the Congressional race while Joko Diaz failed to win as Board Member. Boyet and Joko couldn’t believe they lost – while voters couldn’t believe they’re from Batangas.

Imelda Papin lost her bid for a Congressional seat in San Jose Del Monte City in Bulacan. In related news, Papin has a new single: “Isang Linggong Hinagpis.”

Manny Pacquiao was reelected representative of the lone district of Sarangani. He was unopposed. Nobody’s interested to challenge Pacman anymore. Not the Chiongbians, not the Marquezes, not the Mayweathers.

Newly-proclaimed Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada says his top priority is fixing the problem of ‘peace and harmony.’ To prove his sincerity, he’ll start with Jinggoy and JV.

Actor E.R. Ejercito won the gubernatorial race in Laguna. And we don’t care. Period.
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“Win without boasting. Lose without excuse.”
~Albert Payson Terhune

Sound Bites
“We had a dynasty, that I don’t deny. But no law states that is wrong.”
~Romeo Jalosjos of the Jalosjos dynasty of Zamboanga. Only 2 of 6 family members won in the last elections

Elsewhere
AFP: A rogues’ gallery of election winners

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.





‘KAMPANYA SERYE’ AND OTHER STORIES

28 04 2013

MAALAALA MO KAYA’s ‘Kampanyaserye’ featured the life story of Juan Ponce Enrile – father of senatorial candidate Jackie Enrile. Apparently, it’s a two-part series. One for Pulse Asia and one for SWS.

mmk
Two weeks before the campaign period, multi-awarded drama anthology ‘Maalaala Mo Kaya’ featured the story of senatorial candidates Alan Peter Cayetano and Grace Poe. Two weeks before the elections, they’re featuring Enrile. Television shows have its highs and lows. This is MMK at its lowest.

To be fair, ‘Maalaala Mo Kaya,’ is not insulting its viewers’ intelligence. MMK is assuming they don’t have any.

Binay, Victim?
Senatorial aspirant Nancy Binay says she’s a victim of cyber bullying. That claim is highly debatable. But since she won’t debate on this issue anyway, let’s just move on.

Maceda Falls
Bad news from the UNA campaign trail: former senator Ernesto Maceda lost his footing and stumbled as he inched his way toward the stage. But the veteran politician recovered quickly, regained his composure and eventually won first runner-up.

Papin Is In
Last week, the Commission on Elections reversed its earlier ruling, and allowed Imelda Papin to run for a Congressional seat in Bulacan. Isn’t that a bit unfair to her? It’s already April 28. Papin has only 14 days left to prepare for a loss.

Windfall
ABS-CBN Corporation says it expects to earn at least 1-billion pesos from political ads. And that’s just for ‘Maalaala Mo Kaya.’

As in previous elections, ABS-CBN Corporation expects huge revenues from candidates. To which the New People’s Army said, “Kami rin.”

mmkNothing Romantic
President Aquino has denied reports he’s courting Bianca Manalo. Sought for comment, the former beauty queen said, “Thank God!’

Consul In Trouble
Philippine consul general to Vancouver Jose Ampeso is in hot water after a video of him berating an OFW surfaced online. Ampeso was reportedly drunk. The government has asked the intoxicated consul to come home, explain, and consider an offer to become Executive Secretary.

Gun Control
According to a Pulse Asia survey, 75 percent of Filipinos support a policy of gun control in the Philippines. The rest are idiots.

SALN Deadline
Government officials and employees including politicians have until Tuesday, April 30 to file their statement of assets, liabilities and net worth or SALN. If you’re a politician, you have absolutely nothing to worry about as long as you possess truthfulness, honesty, and undetected secret accounts in the British Virgin Islands.

Poverty Level
Data gathered by the National Statistical Coordination Board showed poverty level in the country has remained unchanged since 2006. President Aquino doubted the results of the study. See? Even the reaction of the sitting president is unchanged.

mmkThe Barrettos
Have you been following the controversial Barretto family feud? Inday Barretto spoke against daughter Gretchen and son JJ for saying nasty things against their youngest sibling Claudine. I mean, with family members like that, who needs the Tulfos?

In a letter published by columnist Ricky Lo, Mommy Inday Barretto defended daughter Claudine against her sister Gretchen. Latest rumors say Gretchen texted Claudine, “If you want a fight, I’ll give you one – anytime, anywhere.” And Claudine replied, “Sure! Tomorrow, NAIA Terminal 3.”
———————————————————
“The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.”
~ George Orwell on propaganda

Sound Bites
“It makes me squirm when I watch on television a cleric mouthing a political vocabulary. It makes my toes curl.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago on the so-called ‘Catholic vote’

“I offer my sincerest apologies to everyone I have ever badgered to register, but I take nothing back. The fact that I have failed to exercise this responsibility myself does not make me wrong about any of that. Although admittedly, it makes me all kinds of stupid.”
~Comelec spokesman James Jimenez admitting that he cannot vote since his registration had been deactivated

Have a fun week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.








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