DEFENSE

13 02 2012

Pangalan: Rey V. Umali
Posisyon: Kinatawan, 2nd District, Oriental Mindoro

Ang Kwento:
Nilapitan daw siya ng “small lady” sa Senate premises at inabutan ng isang envelope na naglalaman ng diumano’y bank documents ni Chief Justice Corona

Ang Sabi ng CCTV:
Walang gan’yang pangyayari. Etchosera ka.

Ang Aksyon:
Siya ay inoobligang magpaliwanag sa loob 24 oras.

Ang Kinaroroonan:
Ewan. Baka nagri-rehearse ng isasagot.

Ang Hamon at Pabuya:
Sinumang makapagbibigay ng impormasyon sa kinaroroonan ng kongresistang ito ay pasasalamatan ng Impeachment Court at bibigyan ng pagkakataong mag-kiss sa Presiding Officer na magdiriwang ng kanyang 88th birthday on Feb. 14, Araw ng mga Puso. Good luck!

SUNNY SATURDAY, rainy Sunday, half-sunny, half-rainy Monday. For the last three or four days, the weather has been unpredictable and weird. Just like Chief Justice Corona’s defense team.


Quoting reliable sources, lawyers of embattled Chief Justice Renato Corona revealed Malacañang was offering 100 million pesos each to senator-judges who will defy the Supreme Court’s order stopping the opening of Corona’s dollar accounts. That’s insane. Anong palagay n’yo sa mga senador, kongresista?!

The defense team of Chief Justice Renato Corona refuses to identify its source. But The Daily Tribune editor-in-chief Niñez Cacho-Olivares believes the source is “a impeachable.”

The defense panel has refused to identify its source. Doing a Rey Umali.

In a hastily called press conference, defense lawyers said, “The President is bent on convicting the Chief Justice at all costs.” Again, tell us something we don’t know.

Grace Lee In Love?
Veteran journalist Ellen Tordesillas wrote that television and radio personality Grace Lee, on her radio show, stated that her relationship with President Aquino was destined for the altar. Close friends of the Korean were not surprised at all. In high school, Grace Lee was allegedly voted “Most Likely to Marry a Geriatric Case.”

Some people are happy to see President Aquino and Grace Lee together. On the one hand, you have a seemingly desperate person who wants to finally get hitched, and on the other hand, you have President Aquino.

This just in:
Grace Lee is accusing Ellen Tordesillas of writing “an article of lies to sensationalize one’s private life.” The future first lady says “I’ve have never said anything remotely close to what her write up says I did. I believe the public deserves an apology from her.” To which, the public said, “Actually, we don’t. And please, huwag mo na kaming idamay.”

Singles
According to a study, there are 13 million single females and 16 million single males in the Philippines today. They are further categorized into two: ‘by choice,’ and ‘no choice.’

RIP Whitney Houston
Pop legend Whitney Houston has died. Apparently, when the Grim Reaper arrived, the bodyguard wasn’t there.

Investigators confirmed Whitney Houston was found in the bathtub of her room at Beverly Hilton Hotel. In her final moments, she was probably singing in the shower.

ABS-CBN and GMA 7 will pay tribute to Whitney Houston… by not letting Anne Curtis and Maxene Magalona sing any of her songs.

On Day 16 of the Corona Impeachment Trial, the impeachment court paid tribute to Whitney Houston. Impeachment players performed songs popularized by the Grammy winning artist.
Sen. Frank Drilon with prosecutors as backup singers: “Count On Me”

Sen. Joker Arroyo with defense lawyers as backup: “Saving All My Love For You”

Guest performer ex-senator Kit Tatad and CJ Corona: “I Know Him So Well”

Cong. Niel Tupas: “How Will I Know”

Sen. Ed Angara and Sen. Loren Legarda: “I Believe in You and Me”

Sen. Chiz Escudero: “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?”

Retired Justice Serafin Cuevas: “Exhale (Shoop, Shoop)”

Sen. Bong Revilla: “So Emotional”

Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile: “One Moment in Time”

Sen. Manny Villar and Sen. Bongbong Marcos: “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”

Sen. Lito Lapid: “I Have Nothing”

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago: “Queen of the Night”

Cong. Rudy Fariñas: “When You Believe”

Sen. Kiko Pangilinan and Sen. Segio Osmeña III with prosecutors as back up: “Run to You”

PSBank Robbery
A group of men breaks into a PSBank branch in Lipa City, Batangas. The group leader was identified as Niel Tupas.

Sen. Ping Lacson: “I’m Every Woman”

Vicki-Hayden Break Up
It’s over between Vicki Belo and one-time porn-videographer Hayden Kho Jr.  The controversial cosmetic expert is single again! You’ve been warned Zaijian Jaranilla!
————————————————————————————
“Every man has the price, I will bribe left and right.”
~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Quote of the Day
“My birthday message to PNoy: I hope that the spirits of his parents, who did well for our country, will continue to guide him and that he will always be conscious of their high expectations—perhaps too high expectations—because it’s so difficult to be a president. Frankly, if the presidency is offered to me now on a silver platter at my age, after all my experience, I will politely decline it. I will be flattered, but I will decline it. It’s extremely difficult to be a president. Let us all wish him a happy birthday, in a sense that he might gain peace of mind and serenity.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago via Twitter @senmiriam

Have a great week! Stay in love!

Share this on Facebook and Twitter:Add to FaceBookAdd to Twitter
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.





A WHOLE NEW WORLD

15 12 2010


FIFTEEN YEARS after he and six others were imprisoned for the massacre of three Vizconde family members, Hubert Jeffrey Webb, son of former Senator Freddie Webb was acquitted by the Supreme Court Tuesday, December 14. Shortly after his release, one joke that circulated online said Hubert was astonished to learn that 15 years later, Mara Clara is still being shown on TV.

But wait, there’s more. Here goes…

Hubert Webb’s Top 10 Reactions/Questions After He Got Home Following His Release From the New Bilibid Prisons

No. 10: “Whaaaaaaat? Single pa rin si Kris?!”

No. 9: “Does Kabayan ever get tired? He’s been doing TV Patrol for like… forever!”

No. 8: “Can you turn the radio on to Campus Radio please? I wonder what’s the new No. 1 song on Triggerman’s Top 20 at 12.”

No. 7: “Thoss, Peek, Pennisi, Seigle, Norwood, Weinstein, Hatfield, Carey, Dillinger. Geez! Dad, did the PBA change its name to Fil-Am Basketball of the Philippines?”

No. 6: “Sandali! Hindi kita maintindihan Joshua. Again, what’s LOL, LMAO, STFU, BRB and GTG?”

No. 5: “Mom, bakit nakatayo ang mga newscasters?”

No. 4: “Wait lang! You mean, ‘yong interview sa ‘kin kanina ni Ms Mel Tiangco was aired not on ABS-CBN but on GMA 7?

No. 3: “I always hear the name P.Noy? What’s that Pinky? A new cartoon strip like A. Lipin of the Inquirer?”

No. 2: “I don’t get it Jason. Are they insulting me or are they just pulling my leg. Do I really look fashionable? Kasi people keep saying things like, I am a hot trending topic daw. Trend? Jesus, I’ve only sported an orange shirt for the last 15 years. What trend?”

And Hubert Webb’s No. 1 reaction/question when he got home following his release from prison…

“I can’t believe this Fritz! Did Ernie Baron undergo plastic surgery? Seriously! And why the use of a screen name?!? “Kuya Kim?!?” Funny bro!! Ha-ha-ha!
——————————————
From my all-time favorite courtroom drama, The Practice:
Ellenor: Can’t let an innocent man go to jail.
Rebecca: We don’t even let our guilty ones go there.

Alfaro In Hiding?
Jessica Alfaro has reportedly gone into hiding. Rumors say the controversial former NBI agent turned massacre state witness has sent word she’d rather die than surrender. Bakit? Anong akala mo sa sarili mo, senador?

After receiving news that Hubert Webb and six others had been released, Vizconde massacre state witness Jessica Alfaro had reportedly gone into hiding. In order to evade detection and dodge identification, Alfaro has decided not to wear dark glasses.

Hayden Wins
A Pasig City RTC judge has dismissed sexy actress Katrina Halili’s case against Hayden Kho Jr. for “insufficiency of evidence” – a decision that baffled the young actress who asked, “Ano pa bang evidence ang gusto niyang makita? Lahat-lahat, ipinakita ko na!”

Briefly Noted
Presenting: the Metro Manila Development Authority’s Traffic Transport Management Office (TTMO) uniform…

Ano ang sasabihin mo kapag hinuli ka ng traffic enforcer na ito?
A: “Bastos!”
B: “Lagay ba ‘ka mo? TTMO!”
C: “Mr. TTMO… malaki ba? Malaki ba ang babayaran ko dahil sa violation?”
D: “Wait lang sir. Dudukot lang ako ng PPKo (Pera sa Purse Ko)!

[TTMO photo courtesy of Tina Panganiban-Perez]
—————————————————-
“I’m like a shooting star
I’ve come so far
I can’t go back to where I used to be”

~“A Whole New World”
From Walt Disney’s Aladdin

Survey Says
Nakapag-Christmas shopping ka na ba?
- Yup! Done. Ready na sa Pasko! 12.31%
- Hindi pa pero hahabol! Inaayos lang ang budget. 46.25%
- Walang pera. Walang plano. Walang pakialaman ng Pasko! 41.44%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Share this on Facebook and Twitter: Add to FaceBookAdd to Twitter

LABINDALAWANG TULOG NA LANG: the Christmas showdown between Kobe Bryant and the championshipRing-seeking, title-wanting, self-proclaimed “king” LeBron James. Go Lakers!

Enjoy the rest of the week!








Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 72,068 other followers

%d bloggers like this: