YOU’VE GOT MALE!

Senate Anomaly?
An obviously scared Panfilo Lacson excluded El Shaddai leader Mike Velarde in his privilege speech on the alleged budget insertions last Monday. But Jamby Madrigal says she is filing a resolution calling for another Senate probe on the matter and assured that Velarde will be investigated. This has just confirmed rumors Jamby’s got more balls than Ping.

Senate President Manuel Villar denied having knowledge of the alleged Senate insertions. Joker Arroyo defended Villar while Alan Peter Cayetano lashed back at Ping Lacson. Asked if she knew anything about insertions, Jamby Madrigal replied, “I wish!”

Sen. Joker Arroyo, a close friend of Senate President Villar, vowed to block any move that will lead to the investigation of the scandal… to which Sen. Mar Roxas said, “’Di bale, bahala na si Korina at ang DZMM d’yan!”

Watching from the sidelines, former senator John Osmeña said he misses Senate debates so much, “especially these days when they’re talking about something I am so fond of and particular with. You know, insertions.”

From Girl to Boy
For proving that her body is manifesting natural occurring male characteristics, a 27-year-old woman named Jennifer was allowed by the Supreme Court to change her gender entries in her birth certificate as well as her name. She is now adopting the name Jamby.

Lozada’s Fight
Despite a recent legal setback, NBN-ZTE scandal star witness Jun Lozada vows to “continue with the fight.” Unfortunately though, he’ll be alone in the fight this time because his fans, the La Salle Brothers will be busy watching another fight – Ateneo vs. La Salle.

Gabby Concepcion vs. Mommy Rose
Actor Gabby Concepcion wants to pre-terminate his five-year contract with talent manager Rose Flaminiano saying he doesn’t really know her that well – the same defense he gave when he terminated his four previous marriages.

Overseas…
A man was arrested in the Nigerian capital of Abuja for allegedly breaking the law when he married 86 women and fathered more than a hundred children. The man vows to defend his case and if acquitted, plans to immigrate to Manila and run for president.

PIGS

Signature Campaign for Erap

Character actor Rez Cortez, one of the initiators of the ERAP 2010 for President Movement vows to gather one million signatures by April 19 to persuade the former president to run for president in 2010. Apparently, Cortez is not aware that Erap’s campaign started the day he was pardoned.

Signature Campaign for Erap II

Character actor Rez Cortez launched a signature campaign to persuade former president Joseph Estrada to run for president in 2010. Erap is exercising extra caution though because the last time Cortez led a similar campaign, his presidential candidate ended up dead.

Bishops and Land Reform

Twenty-nine Catholic bishops, including six archbishops want 1.3 million hectares of haciendas distributed to farmers. Hinay-hinay lang po… buhay pa si Tita Cory.

Bishops and Land Reform II

Six archbishops and 23 bishops want 1.3 million hectares of haciendas distributed to farmers. When Hacienda Luisita owner and former president Corazon Cojuangco Aquino heard the news, the more she wished she’d live longer.

Swine Program Scam?

The Commission on Audit reported that billions of pesos allotted for the government’s swine program were missing. Babuyan na ‘to!

Nograles and Corruption

House Speaker Prospero Nograles is pushing for the passage of anti-corruption bills saying corruption is a “deadly virus.” Virus? Yes. But deadly? May narinig na ba kayong congressman na namatay dahil sa pork barrel?

 Gabby, GMA, and ABS-CBN

Comebacking actor Gabby Concepcion is under fire for signing a movie contract with GMA Films several weeks back and accepting the 1.5 million-peso downpayment. When he returned home though, he opted to become an exclusive ABS-CBN tv and movie talent.  GMA Films is asking Concepcion to at least honor his movie commitment – a plea that would likely fall on deaf ears. How do you expect him to honor a film project when he has failed to honor his commitment to at least three women he married?