STATE OF WAR

30 03 2013

NORTH KOREAN leader Kim Jong-Un has threatened to attack the United States by launching rocket missiles aimed at crippling American bases in the US and the Pacific. If Kim Jong Un seriously wants to hurt Americans, he should cripple Facebook and Twitter instead.

1k
North Korea declared that it had entered a “state of war” with South Korea and threatened to attack its neighbor. But Seoul is unfazed by the threat since a majority of South Koreans are safe… in the Philippines.

Kim Jong Un threatened to strike the US mainland just a couple of weeks after the visit of Dennis Rodman. For the US, it’s on to Plan B: Ron Artest.

Apparently, Kim Jong Un considers the United States his number 1 problem. In close second is his weight.

Kim Jong Un is reportedly a heavy drinker. In fact, this problem was publicly denounced by the parents of his wife, Heart Jong Un.

SWS Survey
It’s 9-3 for Team PNoy according to the latest Social Weather Stations survey. But according to the Vice President, the results were “incredible” and” “unbelievable.” In short, “Nancy Binay!”

The latest SWS survey showed a huge drop in Chiz Escudero’s numbers. The survey was commissioned by Heart Evangelista’s parents.

jomaJoma’s Message
Communist Party of the Philippines founding chairman Jose Maria Sison slams President Aquino and the “US regime” for government policies that do not benefit the “masses.” The message was sent straight from the ‘80s, I mean, the Netherlands.

It’s 2013. I can’t believe Joma Sison is still giving orders to the CPP-NPA from Europe.

1crossHoly Week
More than 20 Filipinos had themselves nailed on the cross on Good Friday. Those men say it’s “tradition.” I say it’s guilt.

I wonder how those Filipinos would reenact the suffering and death of Jesus if he was condemned to die by firing squad.

According to the story, on the third day, Jesus rose from the dead. Had he risen on the fourth or fifth day, he would have missed the season premiere of Game of Thrones. Great timing!

Happy Easter everyone! Always remember, Jesus Christ died for our long vacation.

Pinoy and Marriage
According to the National Statistics Office, fewer Filipinos are getting married. Those Filipinos are called smart.
————————————————
“Tradition is a fragile thing in a culture built entirely on the memories of the elders.”
~Alice Albinia

Sound Bites
“If they make a reckless provocation with huge strategic forces, we should mercilessly strike the US mainland, their stronghold, their military bases in the operational theaters in the Pacific, including Hawaii and Guam, and those in South Korea.”
~North Korea

Have a great April ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photos: Rappler/Associated Press/AFP/Fox News]





SINGLE

24 04 2011

Aquino & Cruz
President Aquino still refuses to comment on Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz’ advice for him to stay single. When it comes to romance, the President listens to Mother Mary – the only virgin he trusts.

Easter Message
In his Easter Sunday message, CBCP president and Tandag Bishop Nereo Odchimar called on the public to “not be selfish as to deprive others of their right to live.” And then, in his personal Easter text message to Archbishop Cruz, he asked him to “not be selfish as to deprive Noynoy of his right to love.”


Maundy Thursday
President Aquino and his Cabinet staged a modern version of the Last Supper last Thursday. DSWD Secretary Dinky Soliman fed the apostles. Executive Sec. Paquito Ochoa drank all the wine.

Easter Sunday
The Philippine National Police and the NBI played Easter egg hunt on Sunday. As expected, they failed to locate the eggs.

Visita Iglesia
With more than 130,000 page views, the CBCP’s Visita Iglesia website was a huge hit. That’s not surprising though since it’s the only place where Catholics could mute or stop a bishop during a sermon.

According to the CBCP, more than 130,000 joined Visita Iglesia online. Catholics actually liked the experience. They had the chance to reflect between tweets.

Pacquiao’s Single
Sarangani Rep. Manny Pacquiao is training hard to punish Sugar Shane Mosley on May 7. But before that, he is set to punish us all with the global release of  “Sometimes When We Touch” on April 28.

Singer/songwriter Dan Hill says Many Pacquiao’s recording of “Sometimes When We Touch” “was like wow!” To put that in perspective, Hill was paid millions of dollars  in royalty.

Congressman Manny Pacquiao is releasing the single “Sometimes When We Touch” globally on April 28. Your days are numbered… Rebecca Black!

Bieber Blunder
During a concert in Malaysia last April 21, international teen pop star Justin Bieber greeted the crowd, “Hello Manila!” To be fair to Justin, he thought he was in Sabah.
————————————-
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
~Emo Philips

April 24th
On this day in…

1982: Kelly Clarkson was born. The attending physician said Kelly was in her element. And her first cry… was perhaps the best cry of the night in that hospital. She really made it her own.

1942: Barbra Streisand was born. Baby Barbra weighed 5 lbs… and that was her nose alone!

1998: ABC confirmed that it was canceling the TV series “Ellen.” Ellen DeGeneres then met with GMA 7’s Felipe Gozon for a possible transfer but TV5’s Manny Pangilinan had a better offer.

2005: Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was inaugurated as the 265th Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. After the inauguration, he went straight to a street party and performed on stage with his college friends.

2005: Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was inaugurated as the 265th Pope. Everyone was invited to the inaugural… except for Chief Justice Renato Corona.

2005: Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was inaugurated as the 265th Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. The event started a bit early so the Vatican had to ask Noel Cabangon to sing a couple more songs.


You Have Spoken
Ano ang reaksyon mo sa rekomendasyon ng Ombudsman na kasuhan sina Bolante, Lorenzo, atbp kaugnay ng fertilizer fund scam?
Puwede na rin ‘yon. At least, kakasuhan. 25.27%
Bakit ngayon lang? Huli na! Gimmick lang ‘yan. 69.35%
Wala akong pakialam. 5.38%

Bonus!
Narito ang pampasuwerteng hula para sa inyo ngayong Easter Sunday! Right click here.

Share this on Facebook or Twitter: Add to FaceBookAdd to Twitter
You may also follow me on Twitter. Let’s have fun!

Have a wonderful and safe week ahead!








Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 115,505 other followers

%d bloggers like this: