NEARLY HALF

THE LATEST PULSE ASIA survey conducted from February 26 to March 9, 2012 showed that 47 percent of Filipinos believed that impeached Chief Justice Renato Corona was guilty. The survey has a margin of error of plus or minus 45 properties.

A recent Pulse Asia study on the Corona impeachment trial showed 58 percent of Filipinos would respect and accept whatever the Senate verdict would be. The remaining 42 percent work for Malacañang.

According to the latest propaganda survey, 47 percent of Filipinos were convinced that Chief Justice Renato Corona was guilty. The rest were non-Inquirer readers.

The Pulse Asia survey also revealed that 8 in 10 Filipinos follow the impeachment trial. The other 2 follow Sharon Cuneta’s explosive tweets against Piolo Pascual.

Breaking: A new survey revealed 98 percent of local newspapers and news websites believe that Renato Corona is guilty.

Tupas Says
Grilled anew on the reported list of alleged “45 Corona properties” which was found to be inaccurate, lead prosecutor Niel Tupas on Tuesday said, “I’m not aware of the media…” How dare you Mr. Congressman. That’s not how you treat an ally!

Noynoying
The Wall Street Journal published an article on ‘Noynoying’ – the term coined by militants to describe the Chief Executive’s alleged laidback working style. But President Aquino is unfazed. He vowed to make a statement as soon as he’s done with his coffee, cinnamon roll, and cigarette.

Deadly Game
In Manila, a man was stabbed following a dispute over a popular computer game. And my friend was like, “Holy sh*t, is the President safe?”

Three More
According to the Manila Bulletin, Manny Pacquiao is eyeing three more fights before finally retiring. To which God said, “I thought we’ve talked?!?”

Fire
Here’s the latest on the fire that destroyed Ever Gotesco Grand Central Mall in Caloocan City. After more than 80 hours, the fire and the city fire marshal were both declared “out.” Yey!

Sizzling Sharon
Megastar Sharon Cuneta, wife of Senator Kiko Pangilinan clashed with bashers and Piolo Pascual loyalists on Twitter. An exasperated Sharon threatened to leave the microblogging site. Realizing however that she’s got nothing else to do, she stayed.

Suddenly Bicolano
Reports say Aga Muhlach has registered as a voter in Camarines Sur. A quick survey showed 90 percent of residents were happy to welcome the actor. The survey has a margin of error of plus or minus “2013.”

Overseas…
In Indonesia, an eight-year-old boy smokes more than a pack of cigarettes per day. Observers believe the boy has a chance of becoming president someday.
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“One should perform his deeds for the benefit of mankind with an unbiased approach because bias gives birth to evil, which creates thousands of obstacles in our path.”
~Rig Veda

Quotes of the Day
“If we are to use surveys to convict or not to convict a person charged in our courts, then we do not need the courts. All we have to do is conduct surveys whenever somebody is charged.”
~Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile

“Regardless of what they’re doing, regardless of what they’re projecting, the President is at work. This administration continues to perform its responsibilities.”
~Atty. Edwin Lacierda on ‘Noynoying’

“This award is not for me because before becoming an actor, I am a Filipino first. This is for my country – the Philippines. Mabuhay!”
~ Eugene Domingo accepting her People’s Choice Award for Best Actress in the Sixth Asian Film Awards in HK

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SLAM BOOK: SENATOR MIRIAM

EXCLUSIVE! Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago’s thoughts on love, life, and lawyers through her slam book entries. Have fun!

“Anger is the enemy of nonviolence and pride is a monster that swallows it up.”
~ Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Happy weekend!
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SAY GRACE

PRESIDENT AQUINO has confirmed reports he recently dated TV host and radio jock Grace Lee. For the record, the President and Ms Lee have so far dated two or three times. Or as Niel Tupas and the prosecution team would probably say 45 times.

President Aquino admits he and Korean Grace Lee are seeing each other. The President believes that Grace is his Seoul mate.

Confirmed! TV and radio host Grace Lee, 29 is officially dating President Noynoy Aquino, 52. Again, dating. Not carbon dating.

Grace Lee was quoted to have said that President Aquino was “brilliant, if not the most intelligent man I’ve met in my life.” Apparently, she had met only a few.

From 45 to 24
Despite television footage showing otherwise, lead prosecutor Niel Tupas denied that the prosecution presented to the media documents that would prove Chief Justice Corona owned 45 properties. Tupas said they could only present evidence for 21 to 24. And this just in: Tupas has denied saying that “like Judas Iscariot,” Mr Corona “betrayed God for a few pieces of gold.” He clarified that it’s for a few pieces of rubies only.

From 45 properties, Niel Tupas is now saying Corona owns only 21 to 24 pala. Talk about misdeclaration.

Observers who have been monitoring the Corona impeachment trial say his conviction is sort of a ‘mission impossible’ for the prosecution. And Niel Tupas is the tape that self-destructs every 5 seconds.

First Time
For the first time since the impeachment trial started, Sen. Lito Lapid asked a prosecutor one clarificatory question last Wednesday. That’s a rare spectacle: Lito Lapid and a prosecutor. On the one hand, you have a stupid guy who takes the floor and gets ridiculed, and on the other hand, you have Lito Lapid.

Manila Bulletin
Last February 2, the Manila Bulletin celebrated its founding anniversary. The daily is now 112 years old – making it the next possible candidate for presiding officer in the impeachment trial.

Dissolved
The marriage of James Yap and Kris Aquino has finally been annulled. Congratulations… James Yap!

Kris Aquino has officially announced that she’s single again. Of course, this is the best time to announce it. She can’t just let Grace Lee have all the attention.

Kris Aquino’s lawyers say the ex-couple’s marital problems were rooted in “personality disorders.” James doesn’t have personality; Kris has disorders.

Facebook Timeline
In less than a week, Facebook Timeline will be mandatory for all users. Timeline will show off posts that people might have wanted to forget. Last night, Niel Tupas and Miro Quimbo decided to delete their Facebook posts claiming Corona owned 45 properties.

Facebook Timeline will now be mandatory. Justice Serafin Cuevas is excited to display his posts from as far back as the 18th Century.
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“Lust fades, so you’d better be with someone who can stand you.”
~ The Story of Us

Quote of the Day
“Apparently, the trial outside the courtroom is proceeding faster than the trial inside the court.”
~Senator-Judge Gregorio Honasan

More PickUp Lines
Si Senator Enrile ka ba? | BAKIT? | Kasi… you’re the JUAN! Boom!”

Si Vice President Jejomar Binay ka ba? | BAKIT? | Kasi, gusto kong maging liwanag sa iyong dilim! | Boom!

Si BIR Commissioner Kim Henares ka ba? | BAKIT | Kasi, handa kong IBUWIS ang buhay ko para sa ‘yo! | Boom!

Happy February! Spread the love!

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ATAT

I CAN’T WAIT FOR January 16, the start of Chief Justice Renato Corona’s impeachment trial. I admit, I am really ‘atat.’ The only other person more atat is Congressman Niel Tupas.

The impeachment trial of Chief Justice Renato Corona begins January 16. But the House prosecution panel started presenting its evidence last January 3.

The House prosecution panel showed to the media a deed of sale and two condominium certificates of title to prove that Corona owns a condo unit at The Fort. Cong. Niel Tupas is expecting a guilty verdict from the media soon.

Congressmen are convinced that Corona’s ownership of a posh condo unit is ill-gotten. They should know. It’s ‘familiar territory.’

Getting Worse
According to the Department of Health, New Year’s Day-related injuries are up by 2.2 percent this year. The DOH is now considering suggestions to ban firecrackers and to bar Dr. Eric Tayag from dancing again.

When asked about firecracker-related injuries, the Health Department noted more cases this year, perhaps second only to Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

The Department of Health reported that this year’s New Year’s Day celebration was “the deadliest.” To which Mayans said, “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Palparan
The reward for the capture of retired Major General Jovito Palparan Jr. has been doubled… prompting his landlady to double the rent, or else.

Christmas Still
The Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines reminds the faithful that the Christmas Season is until January 8. Kids have three more days to hunt down their missing ninong and ninang.

‘Bourne’ in Manila
Online reports say the Hollywood flick ‘Bourne Legacy’ will shoot some scenes in the Philippines including a car chase along Edsa. Good luck to that.

MMDA Chairman Francis Tolentino says part of the ‘Bourne Legacy’ script is a car chase featuring Academy Award winner Rachel Weisz. Also being considered for that particular car chase scene is Richard Gutierrez.

Cover
Everybody’s talking about Jinkee Pacquiao’s photo on the cover of MEGA magazine. The half-human, half-science was half-recognizable.
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“If you want an audience, start a fight.”
~Irish Proverb

Quote of the Day
“Wow! Maganda naman ang asawa ko at lalong gumaganda kasi wala na siyang inaalala.”
~Cong. Manny Pacquiao reacting to the latest magazine cover of his wife, Jinkee

Public Service Announcements
- Taxikick: Report abusive taxi drivers in the Philippines.
- You may also directly file a complaint using this LTFRB form.
- January 23 is a special (non-working) day. Find out why here.

@HecklerForever Says (My recent tweets, in case you missed)
- To say that Kris Aquino is the horror queen is an insult to Lilia Cuntapay
- If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, set them on fire.
- Prevention is better than abortion.
- United we stand divided by 5 is undefined.
- The best things in life are online.
- Patience is a virtue. Or a mushy Guns N’ Roses song if you’re a child of the ’90s.
- You only live once. Or in the case of Rustom Padilla, twice.

Enjoy the rest of the week!

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THY WILL BE DONE

TWELVE DAYS BEFORE Christmas, the House of Representatives impeached Chief Justice Renato Corona. Congratulations President Aquino! ‘Gusto ko happy ka!’

Malacañang categorically denied that President Aquino was behind the impeachment of the Chief Justice… mainly because he was at the forefront of the initiative.

Palace spokespersons denied President Aquino had a hand in the impeachment of Corona. He had his ‘whole body’ working on it.

A total of 188 congressmen voted to impeach Chief Justice Renato Corona. Within just minutes, allies of President Aquino have mustered more than enough votes for the ouster move. It was a walk in the pork.

The House of Representatives was able to transmit the articles of impeachment to the Senate in less than five hours. And Judge Jesus Mupas was like, “Gaya-gaya!”

House Justice Committee Chair and Iloilo Rep. Niel Tupas says, “The Chief Justice used public funds for his own personal purposes.” Again, a classic case of “Hello kettle. I am pot. You’re so black.”

Meanwhile, House Minority Leader Edcel Lagman said the impeachment complaint was the “mother of all blackmails.” Hey, you sponsored the same practice before. Why rant against it now?

Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile says senators will vote on the impeachment case based on evidence presented. Spell cliché.

The House of Representatives voted to impeach Chief Justice Renato Corona. From the Lower House, the complaint was transmitted to the Senate. David Stern tried to block the move but failed.

In 2012, we’ll probably witness the trials of former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and Chief Justice Renato Corona. What an exciting way to spend our last year on Earth.

Just Saying. If the proposed Freedom of Information Act, and the 13-year-old Reproductive Health Bill were “Renato Corona,” both would have been approved a long time ago. Kung ayaw, may dahilan. Kung may pork, maraming paraan.

Merry Christmas!

Quotes of the Day
“Malacañang is not privy to the discussions of the Liberal Party in the House.”
~Deputy Presidential Spokesperson Abigail Valte

“President Aquino gave the general direction, we followed because we believe this is the right thing.”
~ Cavite Representative Joseph Emilio A. Abaya, a Liberal Party stalwart

“This is very important, grave and historic.”
~House Speaker Feliciano Belmonte
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“The genius of impeachment lay in the fact that it could punish the man without punishing the office.”
~ Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.

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