Fifty Baseless Facts About the Government and Political Figures
No. 1: Joseph Estrada was a virgin when he married Luisa Ejercito.
No. 2: Manny Villar was so poor, his parents were only able to have him circumsized when he was already 16.
No. 3: In high school, Renato Corona was voted “Most Likely to Get Away With Anything.”
No. 4: On a scale of Lito Lapid to Miriam Defensor-Santiago, the average Senate IQ is Tito Sotto.
No. 5: Serafin Cuevas helped craft the Code of Hammurabi.
No. 6: Niel Tupas hated math in grade school. He’s poor in counting.
No. 7: The Imelda Marcos we see in Congress today is not the real Imelda Marcos. The former First Lady died in New York in 1999 at age 70.
No. 8: Juan Ponce Enrile can recite pi to 500 digits.
No. 9: The all-time favorite movie of Koko Pimentel’s ex-wife, Jewel May Lobaton is “Unfaithful.”
No. 10: By the time a congressman completes his first term, his net worth has increased by 85 percent.No. 11: Loren Legarda’s first ‘crush’ was her 25-year-old neighbor. She was only 10 then.
No. 12: President Aquino has nocturnal enuresis.
No. 13: Until 2010, Mar Roxas didn’t know how to ride a bicycle.
No. 14: Panfilo Lacson sleeps with a gun under his pillow.
No. 15: Grace Lee is allergic to second-hand smoke.
No. 16: Toby Tiangco finished first runner-up in the ‘Mr. Xavier School’ pageant in 1985. The title was won by sophomore student Jose ‘JV’ Ejercito.
No. 17: Lawyer Karen Jimeno was born male.
No. 18: Ricky Carandang has a secret account on Twitter.
No.19: A recent study revealed 10 out of 5 opinion columnists of the Philippine Daily Inquirer believed Chief Justice Renato Corona would be convicted.
No. 20: Jejomar Binay switches to 24Oras whenever Korina Sanchez is reading the news on TV Patrol.
No. 21: Bong Revilla converted to Islam in 2002.
No. 22: Next to Revilla, Edgardo Angara is the most sexually active member of the Senate.
No. 23: Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is taller in the afternoon.
No. 24: Lawyer Ferdie Topacio worked as a standup comic to finance his post-grad studies.
No. 25: Under ‘Assets,’ Ronald Llamas declared in his SALN some 1,750 DVDs, VCDs, and CDs.
No. 26: DFA Secretary Albert Del Rosario, the richest cabinet member has 85 dollar acounts.
No. 27: Franklin Drilon has tried at least three diet programs in the last three years: Atkins, Cohen, and South Beach.
No. 28: A classified report showed 8 in 10 Customs officials/employees have accepted bribes and other gifts from smugglers.
No. 29: Mommy Dionisia noticed Manny Pacquiao’s homosexual tendencies in high school. She forced him to try boxing.
No. 30: Since DLSU joined the UAAP in 1986, DepEd’s Bro. Armin Luistro has never missed a single La Salle Archers game.
No. 31: Feeling insulted, Butch Abad rejected an endorsement offer from Svenson.
No. 32: Lito Lapid is undergoing therapy for epistemophobia.
No. 33: The Black and White Movement is the most dominant political party in the country today; in close second, Akbayan.
No. 34: Prospero Pichay eats all kinds of vegetables except for pechay.
No. 35: ETC Channel has offered the Basa sisters a reality show.
No. 36: The date of release of SWS and Pulse Asia surveys is subject to the approval of the Presidential Communications Group.
No. 37: Paquito ‘Jojo’ Ochoa is Chief Justice Renato Corona’s ‘eyes & ears’ in Malacañang.
No. 38: Jules Ledesma can speak Latin, Greek, and Sanskrit all at the same time. He is also ambidextrous, a somnambulist and a contortionist.
No. 39: Malacañang has postponed the release of the new 2,000-peso bill that promotes motherhood. The denomination features Kris Aquino, Josh, and Bimby..
No. 40: At least three senators admitted they have had ‘experience’ with the third sex, two during college and another, “just recently.”
No. 41: Kim Henares and Dinky Soliman are first cousins.
No. 42: When Mar Roxas lost the vice presidency, Judy Araneta-Roxas texted Korina Sanchez and said, “Jinx!”
No. 43: Jamby Madrigal was a national arm wrestling champion in grade school.
No. 44: In no particular order, the three government officials with the highest Temple Run scores are Tesda’s Joel Villanueva, MMDA Chairman Francis Tolentino and Health Undersecretary Dr. Eric Tayag.
No. 45: Manoling Morato did the styling (including hair and make up) of co-host Maggie De La Riva in the controversial PCSO program “Dial M.’’
No. 46: Viel Aquino-Dee was bullied by Kris Aquino when they were young. She has yet to recover from the trauma.
No. 47: Conchita Carpio-Morales was a piranha in her past life.
No. 48: On the average, Sharon Cuneta-Pangilinan tweets 850 times a day: 500 replies to her bashers, and 350 Biblical quotes.
No. 49: Abigail Valte spends 45 minutes fixing her eyebrows daily.
No. 50: Chiz Escudero has a twin sister named Villa.
*Rumors, Facts and Humor was also the title of a defunct local showbiz talk show.
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“There are no facts, only interpretations.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Photo of the Weak
Caption this!
Quotes Quiz. Who said:
“What is clear between us is that the [reported] third party was not the reason for the separation.”
A: Sen. Koko Pimentel
B: Jewel May Lobaton (Pimentel)
C: Sen. Chiz Escudero
D: Christine Flores (Escudero)
You Have Spoken
Ano ang nais mong maging hatol ng impeachment court kay CJ Corona?
-Acquit! 35.63%
-Convict! 54.45%
-Problema na nila ‘yon. Wala akong pakialam. 9.91%
I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.
Answer to Quotes Quiz: B.
