ASK.FM (YOU ASK, I ANSWER)

15 01 2013

LATVIA-BASED Ask.fm, an anonymous question and answer platform is becoming more and more popular here in the Philippines. A number of people have started sending me questions via this hit social networking site. I’m posting some of them here with my answers.

humpydumpy_5
Hi Heckler! Ang mga jueteng operators ba sa Pilipinas, hinuhuli?

Hindi. Nagpapatayan sila.

* * * * * * * *

Nakukuba na ako sa kakatrabaho. Maliit pa rin ang suweldo ko. Meron ka bang maipapayo?

Maging miyembro ka ng Senado.

* * * * * * * *

February 12 pa pala pwedeng mangampanya ang mga kandidato sa pagka-senador ayon sa batas. Pero bakit bumabaha na ang political ads?

Ikaw naman, masyadong mapanghusga. Hindi political ads ‘yon. Ang tawag do’n awareness drive. Pero hindi sila nangangampanya. Bakit naman sila mangangampanya eh bawal nga ‘yon? ‘Kaw lang naman ang nagbibigay ng masamang kahulugan sa mga napapanood mo eh. Matitino ang mga pulitiko natin. Sobra. Never silang lalabag sa batas.

* * * * * * * *

Uy, kapatid pala ni acting Cebu governor Agnes Almendras-Magpale si Secretary Jose Rene Almendras. Anong masasabi mo?

Hashtag AlamNa!

* * * * * * * *

Sabi ng SWS, 54 percent daw ng mga Pilipino ay itinuturing na mahirap ang kanilang mga sarili. Hopeless ba ang tawag sa kanila?

Hindi. Realistic.

* * * * * * * *

Nabasa ko nga pala sa diyaryo, plano raw irelocate sa June ang mahigit 100,000 squatters na nakatira sa tabing-ilog at mga estero. Bakit hindi na lang ngayon? Bakit pa sa Hunyo?

Sayang ang boto.


Sabi ng PCSO, ang bago nilang proyektong ‘Loterya ng Bayan’ daw ang papatay sa illegal na sugal na jueteng. Naniniwala ka ba?

‘Yan din ang sabi nila sa STL.

* * * * * * * *

Si Lance Armstrong, umamin na sa pandaraya. ‘Yong isang senador kaya, aamin sa pangongopya?

Hashtag Asa Pa!

* * * * * * * *

Nabalitaan mo na ba? Tuloy na tuloy na raw ang Pacquiao-Marquez V!

‘k.

* * * * * * * *

Kinansela ng UST ang isang forum with senatorial aspirants dahil may mga dadalo raw na pro-RH Law candidates. Tama ba naman ‘yon?

Hayaan mo na sila. That’s their right. Unawain mo na lang. Minsan talaga, kapag bigo, ‘hirap mag-move on. Maghintay ka lang, matatanggap din nila. Siguro, mga 400 years.

* * * * * * * *

Ayon sa year-end sex survey ng FHM, 94 percent daw ng mga lalaking Pinoy, nanonood ng porn. May mensahe ka ba sa 6 percent?

Hiyang-hiya naman ako sa inyo.

dana_417259
Sa tingin mo, buntis si Sarah Lahbati?

Sa tingin mo, may pakialam ako?

* * * * * * * *

Ang choices: magka-boyfriend si Kris o magka-girlfriend si President Aquino? Ang tanong: Ano sa tingin mo ang mauuna?

Mauuna siyempre ang TV ad ng UNA. Walang tatalo. First honor.
———————————–
“There are always answers. We just have to be smart enough.”
~ John Green, Looking for Alaska

band

Enjoy the rest of the week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

['Jueteng' Cartoon from PDI Website]





BONUS!

10 01 2013

I BELIEVE that each person is unique. For example, I like tinola very much. And you’re a corrupt politician. Unique!

Let’s have another example: I’m a typhoon Pablo victim who begged for a kilo of rice for Noche Buena. And you’re a senator who got 1.6 million pesos for Christmas. Unique!

wginedex
According to the World Giving Index 2012 by British organization Charities Aid Foundation, when it comes to generosity, the Philippines is 17th in the world. At No. 1 is Juan Ponce Enrile.

Happy
The Philippine Daily Inquirer reported Wednesday that Senator Juan Ponce Enrile gave 22 senators a total of almost 30 million pesos last Christmas. The Department of Tourism was right! (It’s) more ‘funds’ in the Philippines!

Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile played Santa last Christmas and gave almost 30 million pesos to his fellow senators. Again, that’s 30 MILLION pesos – or as the Senate President would call it, “foiled coup attempt.”

Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile gave almost 30 million pesos to 22 senators last Christmas. Sought for reaction, the real Santa Claus said, “Hiyang-hiya naman ako sa kanya!”

Last Christmas, Senator Enrile gave 22 senators a total of almost 30 million pesos. Quoted by the Inquirer, a lawmaker described it as “unconstitutional” and “unconscionable.” The lawmaker refused to be identified but the consensus was, “It’s definitely not Lito Lapid.”

car2Manantan/Atimonan
Reports say the leader of the group of police that killed 13 people in an alleged “shootout” in Atimonan, Quezon had been involved in several high-profile “shoot outs” leaving no less than 45 people dead. Right now, Superintendent Hansel Manantan has a better shooting record than the Los Angeles Lakers.

Supt. Hansel Marantan is being linked to illegal gambling. He was also involved in controversial operations in which not a single person survived. Or as Manantan would say, “jackpot!”

Police officer Hansel Marantan is being accused of rubout. Senator Panfilo Lacson defended the cop saying, “Instead of demonizing him, he should at least be given the benefit of the doubt.” To which, Marantan said, “Idol!!!”

Terror Teacher
Have you seen the viral video of Narciso Varona, the teacher who was caught verbally and physically attacking his student? It’s a hit.

Montessori Professional College International school teacher Narciso Varona has been dismissed from service after he was caught on cam verbally and physically hitting a female student. Now unemployed, Varona is reportedly applying for a job at Philip Morris.

noyLovelife 2013
According to psychic Danny Atienza, this year, President Aquino will finally meet the woman he’ll definitely fall in love with. When the woman heard the prediction, she went into hiding.

Psychic Danny Atienza described President Aquino’s future girlfriend as “bright,” “of good breeding,” and “really beautiful, really, really beautiful.” In short, “false hope.”
—————————————–
“I get so tired listening to one million dollars here, one million dollars there, it’s so petty.”
~ Imelda Marcos

Sound Bites
“He returned my biscuits, so I returned his cash. You don’t like my biscuit, I also don’t like your money.”
~Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago on Senator Enrile’s cash gift of quarter of a million pesos. Prior to that, she gave Enrile a bag of biscuits from Iloilo but the Senate President had it returned

Personal
Happy New Year and thank you again Antony Atkinson of Davao. Mabuhay!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo/President Aquino: PCIJ]








Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 111,818 other followers

%d bloggers like this: