EXCLUSIVE: KRISSY RETURNS!

10 11 2012

10:30 AM Friday
November 9, 2012
Somewhere in Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City


OH, HELLO THERE! You look at me when I say hello there! There! Na-miss n’yo ‘ko ‘no? Aminin! Well, I’m baaaack. I’m here for an interview. I don’t know nga kung bakit wala pa si Heckler. Grabe, siya na ang nakiusap, siya pa ang late. Kaloka! Anyway, while waiting for him, let’s chat muna. This December, my film fest entry will… oh, he’s here. Gosh, you’re sooo late!

Sorry po, traffic.

It’s Friday! What do you expect? Hay naku! Darla, retouch muna nga. Be thankful kay Darla at sa KrisTV staff, naghintay sila. As in, they’re here for like 35 minutes na, promise.

Guys, thank you. Again, sorry Ms Kris. Shall we start?

So minamadali mo naman ako? Iba ka!

Nooo! No… take your time. Sorry po. How’s Bimby?

Close tayo? Helloooo.

Ok.

Aha-ha-ha. Namumula ka! I was just kidding. Baka itsismis mo inaapi kita. Gosh, I’m not like that. Alam ‘yan ng staff and crew ng show ko. ‘Di ba Darla?

(‘Di narinig ni Darla; No reaction)

Hoooooy sumagot ka! Aha-ha-ha! Support me naman! Anyway, let’s start na nga. Bilisan mo dahil may shooting pa ako. Go!

How’s your sex life?

NAKAKALOKA KA! ‘Yon talaga ang unang tanong? Helllooo. FYI, baka lang ‘di mo pa alam, baka lang naman, I am single right now! Sex is the least of my concerns. Unless…

Unless what…

Ayokong sabihin. Aha-ha-ha Magagalit na naman sina Ate Ballsy at Ate Pinky. My gad. I’m sure ‘pag nabasa nila ‘to tatawagan nila ako, “Kris, you and your big mouth again!” So quiet na lang ako. Basta, I am single and happy. Let’s leave it at that.

Nami-miss mo ba si James… ‘pag gabi?

From sex to James?!? Gano’n talaga ang segue? Hindi kita kinakaya. Aha-ha-ha We’re friends. Not friends na super friends but we’re ok. Pwede bang change topic na? Nag-move on na ako. Move on na rin kayo.

Two months mong co-host si Chiz sa KrisTV. Hindi ka ba niya niligawan?

Ano ka ba?!? May girlfriend na ‘yong tao! Nakakahiya kay Mrs. Ongpauco at sa chain of Barrio Fiesta restaurants!

Rephrase na lang, hindi ka ba nanghihinayang na napunta siya kay Heart?

Hellooooo! Look at me. LOOK AT ME! Ito ba? Ito ba ang mukhang nanghihinayang?

Bakit parang nandidiri ka?

Noooo! You’re making me pahamak! Gosh. Nakakahiya. If you’re reading this Chiz, that’s not what I meant. And thank you again for guesting. I learned a lot.

So hindi mo lang talaga siya type?

Let’s put it this way. Alvin Patrimono, Philip Salvador, Joey Marquez, James Yap. Venti! Venti! Venti! Venti! And then biglang Chiz… hmmm, tall. Masisira ang pattern aha-ha-ha.

Are you saying na maliit ang…

I’m saying na you shut up. You’re putting words into my mouth! Grabehhh!

Ok, sorry. Punta naman tayo sa brother mo. Wala ka bang balita sa lovelife niya?

Hay naku! Pagdating sa lovelife, ayoko nang makialam. Lovelife ko nga, ‘di ko maasikaso! I did my part na. Nag-recommend ako ng stylist para tulungan siyang imake over. May wardrobe consultant pa. Kung wala pa ring epek, ipagpapasa-Diyos ko na lang.

Hopeless case na ba?!

You’re so bad. Wala akong sinabing ‘hopeless.’ Noy, you know I love you. But you’re 52. Keri mo na ‘yan. Hanap lang nang hanap! Hellllo! Hugh Hefner got married again at 85.

Si Hugh Hefner talaga ang peg?

Gosh, stop using that term please! I hear that everyday sa studio. Irritating! Darla, sino ba ‘yong guest natin na nagsabing peg niya raw ako? Nakakairita! After talaga ng taping, sinabihan ko ang writers. Bawal gamitin ang “peg” kapag kaharap ako kung ayaw n’yong masira ang mood ko! Ayun, natahimik ang mga beki. Natakot ‘ata sa akin. Aha-ha-ha

Nasabit ang name mo sa away ng mga party-list groups. Kasi raw, ‘yong Akbayan na kinukuwestyon ang pagiging kinatawan ng marginalized sector, tumanggap pala ng 10 million pesos mula sa ‘yo noong 2010 elections. Anong masasabi mo?

You know what, that issue was blown out of proportion. Please lang, ‘wag n’yo kong idamay sa away-pulitika n’yo. Nananahimik ako. Kung may naiinggit sa Akbayan, hindi ko na fault ‘yon. Besides, that’s just 10 million pesos! What’s 10 million?! Helllllooo!


Speaking of Akbayan, may lumabas na item sa ABS-CBNNews.Com tungkol sa pagkaka-link ng brother mo kay Akbayan senatorial candidate Risa Hontiveros. May alam ka ba ‘don?

Heto na naman tayo. Hay naku. Risa is just Noy’s friend. Nang mabasa ko nga ang item, it felt weird. Parang, helllooo, they’re parang magkapatid lang. ‘Yong mga unverified reports, ‘di dapat nilalabas ‘yan eh. Alam mo naman ang News. Ayoko na lang magsalita. We’ve had an issue before at ayoko nang maungkat pa. Basta. Sana lang, kung news… news talaga. Ayoko na lang magsalita. Dapat kasi may malinaw at credible sources hindi ‘yong basta-basta naglalabas ng balita. Ayoko na lang magsalita. Kung hindi confirmed ang report, ‘wag munang iupload, ‘di ba? Ayoko na lang talagang magsalita. Ayusin naman sana ang trabaho kasi presidente ang involved rito. Basta! Ayoko na lang magsalita.

Puwede ako naman ang magsalita?

NAKAKALOKA! And’yan ka pa pala. Gosh, sorry! Akala ko umalis ka na. Feel na feel ko pa naman ang monologue ko! Ano ka ba naman Darla, hindi mo sinabi!

Moving on… last 2010 very vocal ang pamilya ni Ms Annabelle Rama na hindi nila iboboto si Noynoy. Remember Ruffa’s walkout sa “The Buzz?”

Ruffa who?!

Gano’n?

Of course I’m kidding! Hellloooo! Hi Ruffi! Miss you na! Wala ka raw trabaho d’yan sa kabila? Aha-ha-ha Ano nga ulit ang question?

Next year kasi tatakbo for a Congressional seat si Ms Annabelle Rama. Hypothetical lang, iboboto mo ba siya kung nakatira ka sa distrito niya?

I’m glad I’m not. Aha-ha-ha

So that’s a ‘no?’

Darla, what time ulit ang call time ko? We’re running late right? Ay, sorry Heckler, may tanong ka pa?

Mainit na isyu ngayon ang political dynasty. Ipinagbabawal daw ito ng Constitution pero bakit tuloy pa rin ang pagtakbo ng magkakapamilya. What’s your take on political dynasties?

Alam mo, I will be biased kasi our family has been ruling Tarlac for like seven or eight decades or maybe, longer. Pero one thing I can assure you, my mom was not corrupt, my brother is not corrupt, and my cousin Bam Aquino is not corrupt.

How about your uncle Peping Cojuangco?

Darla, are we late na for the shoot? Do we need to leave na?

Sandali lang po, two questions na lang. Very active ka sa Twitter and I’m sure nababasa mo rin ang controversial tweets ni Ms Sharon Cuneta.

I don’t follow her.

Oh, you don’t?

Ayokong ma-stress aha-ha-ha But I follow KC.


As a social media personality, ano ang maipapayo mo kay Ms Shawie na laging napapaaway on Twitter?

Ignore and move on.

Move on?

Yes! Kasi naman 2012 na! Magwa-one year na ang break up ng anak niya at ni PJ. Nag-move on na ang lahat ng Pilipino, siya na lang ang hindi pa. Wait, pwede bang off the record ‘to? Ayokong magalit si Sharon eh. Ang haba pa naman niyang mag-tweet. Nobela talaga ang peg. Eeew why did I use that term. Kainis! Aha-ha-ha

Are you endorsing anyone this coming elections?

I’m not sure. Baka! BAKA lang.

Mamimigay ka ulit ng ₱10 million?

Nakuuu! Hindi na ‘noh! Ayaw ng Bayan Muna at Anakbayan ng ganyan. Aha-ha-ha

If elections were held today, sinu-sino ang iboboto mo for senator. Top 3 lang muna.

If elections were held today, I’m sure ‘di pa ready ang Comelec. Kaloka ka! Aha-ha-ha

November 11 is the birthday of Vice President Binay. Alam kong close ang Aquino family sa pamilya niya. Any message for him?

Hi Tito Jojo! Grabe! I still remember those days na pumupunta ka sa bahay to meet with my mom and dad. I was was just 5 or 6 then at naloloka ka kapag sinasabihan kita ng, “Negro! Negro!’ Aha-ha-ha Who would have thought na mararating mo ang kinatatayuan mo ngayon? We’re happy and proud of you. Ignore mo na lang si Ate Koring. Isa pa ‘yon, ‘di pa nakaka-move on. Anyway, happy happy birthday and may the good Lord continue to shower you with blessings. Happy birthday!

Kumusta na nga pala kayo ni Mayor Junjun Binay?

We’re okay! I think he’s also very busy, and last I heard may girlfriend na raw yata. I’m not sure.

Hindi ka nagseselos?

Hellllooooo! LOOK AT ME again. Ito ba ang nagseselos?! Ito ba?!? ‘Tsaka why would I?!

Hindi mo siya type ‘no?

Ano ka ba?!! Walang gano’ng isyu between us. Imposibleng maging kami! Unless…

Unless VENTI s’ya?

Nakakaloka ka! Darla tara na! Aha-ha-ha!
———————————————————-
“I don’t like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.”
~Delta Burke

Quote of the Day
“Sa mga nanunulsol, tigilan n’yo na kung may malasakit talaga kayo sa aming pamilya. Hindi nakakatulong ang mga nanggagatong.”
-Cong. JV Ejercito on his reported rift with half-brother Sen. Jinggoy Estrada (Via Radio dzRH)

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.





EARTH DAY

23 04 2009

April 22 is Earth Day: a chance to promote love of nature: plants, animals, and the environment. In celebration of this event, the Supreme Court issued a ruling expanding the country’s largest crocodile farm. It allowed 32 additional party-list representatives to sit in Congress.

Of course, the Lower House was in Earth Day mood too. As if the same farm was not big enough, a House of Representatives panel approved yesterday a measure raising the maximum number of lawmakers from 250 to 300.

Likewise, Sen. Mar Roxas observed Earth Day. I know what you’re thinking. But no, he didn’t go for a pedicab ride to work. Instead, when he saw a guy threw garbage at Edsa, minura niya ito.

Former congressman Ted Failon whose wife was cremated yesterday observed Earth Day in advance. Last week, he had his house cleaned up.

Additional House Members
Because of a Supreme Court ruling, the Lower House now has a record number 55 party-list representatives. Isn’t that ironic? While the Lower House is adding 32 more… our senators are killing one another.

House Speaker Prospero Nograles says 32 additional solons means an additional 2.57 billion pesos in pork barrel allocation. That’s 2.57 billion pesos! Or as Sen. Manuel Villar would describe it, “Budget for 10 C-5 road projects.”

The Lower House has 32 additional party-list representatives and controversial retired Major General Jovito Palparan Jr. is one of them. The country has so many party-list groups… even human rights violators are represented.

palparan Retired Major General Jovito Palparan Jr. of the anti-Communist group Bantay is now a member of Congress. When Jose Maria Sison heard this, he immediately ordered the deployment of additional security for Satur Ocampo, Teddy Casiño, Liza Maza, Luzviminda Ilagan, and Rafael Mariano.

Loyalists of Joma Sison in Congress vowed to block the entry of retired Major General Jovito Palparan Jr. to the House of Representatives. They described him as “a butcher, a killer, and a human rights violator” – traits that qualify him for a post in the NPA leadership.

Retired Army Major Jovito Palparan Jr. of the anti-Communist party-list group Bantay is now a member of the House of Representatives. Asked what excites him the most as a congressman, Palparan replied, “ambush interviews.”

pacquiao-hatton-promo300 Pacquiao-Hatton Fight
Reports say seats for the Manny Pacquiao-Ricky Hatton fight on May 3 (Manila time) are almost sold out. In fact, there are more available seats now at the House of Representatives compared to the MGM Arena.

Wilma Galvante vs. Annabelle Rama
Talent manager Annabelle Rama appealed to her fellow Visayans to join her in a rally outside GMA 7 to demand the resignation of her “enemy,” GMA 7 Senior VP for Entertainment TV Wilma Galvante. But Rama was forced to cancel the rally… when only Cerge Remonde showed up.

For the aborted rally against GMA 7 executive Wilma Galvante, talent manager Annabelle Rama announced on TV a hotline where her fellow Visayans could call her. The toll free number: 1-908-1-SCHIZO.

Quote of the Weak
“Satanas ‘yang Wilma na ‘yan! Satanas ‘yan! At hindi ako titigil hangga’t malaglag ‘yang bruha sa GMA! Walanghiyang bruha na ‘yan!”
~Talent manager Annabelle Rama talking about her adversary, GMA 7’s Senior VP for Entertainment TV Wilma Galvante in a radio interview

(Note: The Professional Heckler has just received information that Annabelle Rama usually eats garbage for merienda. ‘Yan po ang dahilan kung bakit ganyang kabaho ang lumalabas sa bibig niya.)

But in all fairness to Ms Rama, the feisty mom observed Earth Day yesterday… by not opening her mouth for one hour.

Personal:
Two readers of this blog have informed me that Philippine Star columnist Federico Pascual re-printed my post CHICKEN CROSSING today, April 23 in Phil Star but attributed the write-up to someone else. Grrrrr.

Elsewhere…
Where in hell did Loren and Angara go? These senators made me laugh. (Thanks to Rem for sending me the link.)

_________
“We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.”
~Native American Proverb





FIGHTERS

20 04 2009

notter Notter Is Free
International Committee of the Red Cross member Andreas Notter is finally free. It just goes to show that good things do happen when the hostage prays, the military pursues, and Richard Gordon shuts the f*ck up.

flash Twin Victories!
Nonito Donaire and Brian Viloria scored convincing victories in their respective bouts Sunday. GMA 7 and Solar Sports aired a super delayed telecast of the event but boxing-obsessed fans still waited to see both fights. To give you an idea how obsessed have we become with boxing… yesterday… at the Senate, Manny Villar and Ping Lacson tried to knock each other out.

villarlacxon Being probed by Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s ethics committee on the alleged C5 road double funding, Sen. Manuel Villar delivered a fiery and emotional privilege speech yesterday. He took a swipe at Lacson’s alleged links to murders; Miguel Zubiri’s alleged cheating in the elections; Jamby Madrigal’s questionable ethics, and Mar Roxas’ “girlfriend na bira nang bira.” Later in the evening, Villar’s staff discovered that the senator inadvertently read the draft of a speech intended for next year’s “miting de avance.”

marko Mar and Korina
Did you hear the news? Sen. Mar Roxas reportedly introduced Korina Sanchez to his relatives on his mother’s side during a recent reunion of the filthy-rich Araneta clan in Bago City, Negros Occidental. It marked the first time in his political career that Roxas formally introduced to close family members… a potential election endorser.

Mar Roxas told the press, “Korina is so much a part of my life and so much a part of my heart, it’s only natural for her to be here also.” Of course, it was just coincidence that all these things are happening months before his biggest political battle.

Something awkward happened when Mar and Korina attended the Aranetas’ reunion in Negros the other day. When Roxas was told that he must introduce Korina to some 1,200 members of the Araneta family, he yelled, “Put*ng inaaa… ang dami naman!”

Something more awkward happened at the Aranetas’ reunion in Negros recently when a research team sent by SWS conducted a survey on the 1,200 family members. When the results were tallied, Mar Roxas placed sixth!

But the most awkward moment actually happened last year when Mar introduced himself to Korina’s relatives. Mar said, “Good evening everyone. From the beautiful city of Bago, Negros Occidental, I am Manuel Roxas II and I believe in the saying ‘If there’s a wheel, there’s a pedicab!’ I thank you!”

persida2 The PAO Chief
Talking about introductions, remember PAO Chief Atty. Persida Rueda-Acosta? When she heard the news that Ted Failon’s wife was shot, she rushed to Ted’s house and said, “Hi I am Attorney Acosta of PAO. I am not making promises but I will try my best to convince the president to grant you a pardon… just in case.”

I am sure you know Atty. Persida Rueda-Acosta of the Public Attorneys Office. She’s the one who fought for the release of Ninoy Aquino’s murderers. She was also photographed with priest killer Roberto Manero when the latter was released a few years back. Reports say Acosta cried when Justice Sec. Raul Gonzales called her “crazy” following her “legal counseling” of Ted Failon. Asked if Gonzales’ allegation was true, Acosta who was then crying, smiled… and then cried again, and then smiled.

rama2 Annabelle, Again
Annabelle Rama reportedly watched Sunday’s “The Flash and the Furious” boxing event. After watching both fights, Rama told the press, “Dong, ridi na ko! Iharap mo sa ‘kin sina Joanne Maglipon at Wilma Galvante dong.”

Breaking News!
It’s official! Annabelle Rama has replaced Kris Aquino as the Filipinos’ favorite pastime.

__________
“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.”
~Spencer Johnson





CHICKEN CROSSING (2009 EDITION)

19 04 2009

THEY MADE guesses in 2007. They gave their two cents’ worth in 2008. This year, they will again try to answer the age-old question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Here’s why according to some local political personalities, government officials, and celebrities:

1: Joseph Estrada: “Binantaan ko ang manok. Kapag hindi kayo nagkaisa ng iyong mga sisiw sa pagtawid… ako na mismo ang tatawid at iiwan ko kayo sa kabilang side ng kalsada.”

2: Sen. Manuel Villar: “What road? C5 or Carlos P. Garcia Avenue?”

3: Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “I absolutely had nothing to do with it. My conscience is clear.”

4: Sen. Manuel Villar 2: “What chicken?! Itik ‘yon!”

5: VP Noli De Castro: “Bakit ka lilipad pa kung kaya namang maglakad na?

6: Cong. Jose De Venecia: “I will not testify even if the Senate conducts a probe on that matter. I’ve already corroborated the statement of my son who saw the chicken when it crossed the road.”

7: Sen. Mar Roxas: “Put*ang inaaaaaa! Ano bang tanong ‘yan?! Paanong ‘di maglalakad ‘yon eh hindi naman siya marunong sumakay sa padyak?!”

8: First Gentleman Mike Arroyo: “I don’t care about the chicken. I am more concerned about the road. I think it needs repair. When is the bidding?”

9: Satur Ocampo: “Bilang protesta sa pang-aabuso sa karapatang pang-hayop ng mga multinasyonal at dayuhang korporasyong katulad ng KFC, Texas Chicken, Kenny Rogers, at McDonald’s.”

10: Ted Failon: “The chicken was having some problems. It tried to commit suicide by crossing that very dangerous road.”

11: Quezon City Police: “We’re not sure yet if it crossed the road or not. The path where it allegedly crossed was apparently cleaned up thereby contaminating the evidence.”

12: ABS-CBN: “Let us respect the privacy of the chicken.”

13: DOJ Sec. Raul Gonzales: “That chicken is crazy!”

14: Sen. Richard Gordon: “I was able to talk to someone from the other side of the road and he confirmed that they’re holding the chicken hostage. There’s proof of life.”

15: Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro:The good senator is endangering the life of the chicken. He should let the task force do the talking.”

16: Bro. Eddie Villanueva: “Jeremiah Chapter 9, Verse 10: I will weep for the mountains and wail for the desert pastures. For they are desolate and empty of life; the lowing of cattle is heard no more; the birds and wild animals all have fled.”

17: HK Magazine columnist Chip Tsao: “You’re a nation of chickens!”

18: Public Attorneys Office Chief Persida Rueda-Acosta: “Why not? It has served its minimum sentence. Allow it to walk free!”

19: Subic rape victim Suzette “Nicole” Nicolas: “To marry!”

20: Alabang Boys: “To parteE!”

21: Pampanga Gov. Ed Panlilio: “To quarry!”

22: DOJ State Prosecutor John Resado: “I will answer that question only if you deposit 1.6 million pesos to my BDO account.”

23: Fashion designer Boyet Fajardo: “Mga leche kayo! Hindi n’yo ako kilala? Ako si Boyet Fajardo! Fashion designer ako, hindi sabungero! At ‘yang put*ng-inang manok na ‘yan ay walang kuwentang hayop!”

24: Manny Pacquiao: “ABS-CBN lawyers made the chicken do it.”

25: Annabelle Rama:Ang kapal ng mukha ng manok na ‘yan. Matapos kong bigyan ng patuka, siniraan pa ako sa mga alaga kong sisiw! Idedemanda ko siya dong! At sasampal-sampalin ko pa ‘pag nakita ko! Sinimulan n’ya ‘yan… tatapusin ko!”

26: Wilma Galvante: “I helped the chicken cross the road yes, but I categorically deny asking for eggs in return. Hindi kami nasusuhulan dito.”

27: Dr. Hayden Kho: “I am not exactly sure why but I do have proof that the chicken crossed the road. I videotaped it secretly.”

28: Dr. Vicki Belo: “I told the chicken: if you want to look like Piolo Pascual or Dingdong Dantes, stay with Belo. But if you want to look like Boy Abunda, go to other side of the road.”

29: Madam Auring: “Nakikita ko… nararamdaman ko… gaganda ang buhay ng chicken this year. Mangingitlog pa siya nang marami.”

The next day…

Tabloid headline: “Manok… nasagasaan, patay!”

And due to insistent public demand, I’d like to belatedly add another answer to the question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

30: Sen. Lito Lapid: “All of the above!”

Have a productive week ahead!

Survey Says…
Who’s got the worst TV ad?
All of them were bad: 63%
Roxas: 27%
Villar: 6%
Lacson: 4%

We have a new survey question. Please vote now.





‘SENSYA NA… TSAO LANG!

1 04 2009

“The ‘servant’ is a sacred term. A Hong Kong government official is a civil servant. We are all servants to God, right? I’m now aware that I’ve crossed the line and I offer my public apology.”
~Chip Tsao’s apology aired over ATV Television Tuesday night

Postscript to a “Chip” Column
Parañaque City Rep. Roilo Golez has challenged HK Magazine columnist Chip Tsao to one round of boxing. His wife calls it “courage.” His supporters call it “nationalism.” I call it publicity.

Interviewed on ATV Television, HK Magazine columnist Chip Tsao apologized for calling the Philippines “a nation of public servants.” Dissatisfied with the apology, the president is sending “super maids” to Hong Kong “to teach” him a lesson.

Remember Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago’s statement during the NBN-ZTE deal probe that the Chinese invented corruption? Chip Tsao said, “Not true! We did not invent corruption. We invented satire!”

The Filipino consul in Hong Kong revealed that “Luisa”, the Filipina domestic helper identified in Tsao’s column was being treated well in the Tsao household. To give you an idea how well she’s being treated, “Luisa” admitted that she’d rather work for Chip Tsao than work for Princess Revilla.

chip_immig The Bureau of Immigration has ordered airport authorities to prevent Chip Tsao from entering the country, to which the controversial Chinese columnist said, “Duh! Do they even have airplanes there?”

Rumors say Sen. Panfilo Lacson has flown to Hong Kong to hunt down Chip Tsao. He wants to personally thank the columnist for diverting media attention from the Dacer-Corbito murder case.

In Other News hostages1
DILG Sec. Ronaldo Puno says the three Red Cross volunteers held hostage by Abu Sayyaf terrorists are still alive. Puno adds government soldiers, with their tanks and mortars have surrounded the Abu Sayyaf lair in Sulu. They’ve also invited Cong. Roilo Golez in case the kidnappers prefer hand to hand combat.

Alma Marries Mayor
Parañaque City councilor Vanessa Lacsamana a.k.a. Alma Moreno wed Marawi City Mayor Fahad Salic in a Muslim rite two Saturdays ago. Alma is now officially the city’s Fourth Lady.

Parañaque City councilor Alma Moreno has married Marawi City Mayor Fahad Salic who, according to reports, has three other women. But that didn’t bother Alma who was previously married to another mayor with twice as many.

glvanannae Annabelle Rama Sued
GMA executive Wilma Galvante has sued talent manager Annabelle Rama for libel. She also asked the court to order the Bureau of Food and Drugs to test Rama’s mouth for salmonella “dahil sobrang dumi ng lumalabas dito.”
________________
“A stiff apology is a second insult. The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.”
~G.K. Chesterton





THE FIGHT IS ON

30 08 2008


Pacquiao vs. DeLa Hoya
Reports say Manny Pacquiao and Oscar De La Hoya are scheduled to meet on December 6 for the 100 million dollar-welterweight fight. Both camps have agreed to push through with the eagerly-awaited bout which stands to benefit De La Hoya and Pacquiao… as well as GMA7 and Solar Sports.

Annabelle Rama vs. Wilma Galvante
According to talent manager Annabelle Rama, GMA7 senior vice president for entertainment Wilma Galvante is “a devil.” Galvante opted to ignore Rama’s potshot but made it clear that if provoked again, she might retaliate… with her pitchfork.

Cruz and Condom
Lingayen-Dagupan Archbishop Oscar Cruz said the use of condom is not 100 percent effective versus HIV. To prove his claim, he’s now gathering statistics on the number of HIV-positive sacristans.

MJ Turns 50
Michael Jackson who turned 50 years old on August 29 says he is very proud of his achievements… particularly, his uber-successful transformation from a cute, black American boy to a scary white American girl.

MJ Turns 50 II
Yesterday, August 29 Michael Jackson turned 50 years old… or just a few more years before he finally completes the world’s first ever case of reverse evolution.

Check this out: The History of Michael Jackson’s Face





GAME OVER

25 08 2008


Mindanao Conflict
Reports say the military has captured at least 15 camps of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front in Central Mindanao. The largest of the 15, located in Maguindanao is known as Camp Vietnam and is equipped with watchtowers and an obstacle course… further fueling speculations the rebels are now secretly training their own contingent for the 2012 London Olympics.

Postscript to Beijing
The Beijing Olympics is officially over. London is preparing now for the staging of the quadrennial games in 2012. Michael Phelps is preparing to equal his eight gold medal-haul; Usain Bolt is preparing to break his century dash record, and Peping Cojuangco of the Philippine Olympic Committee is preparing for the barrage of criticisms, insults, and backbiting when he arrives in Manila.

Pacquiao on Pinoy Athletes
Manny Pacquiao is reportedly saddened by our athletes’ monumental failure in the Beijing Olympics… but is nonetheless relieved that nobody would collect his promised incentive of one million pesos.

Good Work
The Chinese government praised its entire police force for keeping the Beijing Olympics secure and peaceful. The cops find the commendation unusual because normally, they only receive praises when they shoot Tibetan protesters.

Briefly Noted:
The Inquirer and the Flag Carrier

Yesterday, August 24, Inquirer sports editor Teddyvic Melendrez wrote that Miguel Molina was “robbed” of the chance to carry the Philippine flag during the opening of the Beijing Olympics. Melendrez had written a week ago that Molina was “unceremoniously dispossessed of the honor by Manny Pacquiao.” The rest of the world is talking about winning medals and yet, Filipinos are still bickering over who should have carried the flag. Petty.

Tabloid Offices Robbed
At least 10 unidentified motorcycle-riding men brandishing handguns and shotguns robbed the offices of two tabloids – Remate and Tiktik in Port Area, Manila before dawn today. The robbers carted away P160,000 from Tiktik, P20,000 from Remate… and from both offices, the final drafts of several sleazy advice columns that were scheduled to be published next week.

Annabelle Rama vs. GMA 7
Feisty talent manager Annabelle Rama is fuming mad over GMA7’s decision to stage the post-birthday blowout show of Marian Rivera and Dingdong Dantes on Wednesday, August 27 at the Araneta Coliseum, the same day her son Richard and KC Concepcion’s movie will open. Rama has threatened to transfer his sons Richard and Raymond to ABS-CBN to which Gabby Lopez allegedly said, “Richard? Sure, why not? Raymond? Hmmm… Piolo, Sam, Uma, Eric Santos, Jed Madela… let me check huh if we still have room for one more.”








Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 113,840 other followers

%d bloggers like this: