V DAY

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

Just so you know, President Aquino is a certified member of SMV: $amahan ng Mamahalin ang Vehicle$.

Rumors say President Aquino wants a palm plant on Valentine’s Day. Wanna know why? ‘Coz that’s the only sure way he could get a date.

This just in! The President has decided to change his relationship status on Facebook: from “Single,” to “So what?!”

On Valentine’s Day, the president’s youngest sister Kris is celebrating her 40th birthday. Kaya sa ating lahat… ingat!

Singlehood
101 Answers to the Question: Why are you still single? Right click to read it here.

Mubarak Resigns
Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has stepped down as leader of Egypt. He left the presidential palace together with his weeping wife and children on a boat via the Nile River.

Egypt’s Hosni Mubarak resigned as president and handed control to the Armed Forces. Following the transfer of power, Egypt’s military generals were each given 50,000 Egyptian pounds as ‘pasalubong.’

Hosni Mubarak is no longer president of Egypt. His critics are now demanding the creation of a Truth Commission.

People power has forced Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak out of Cairo. In six years, expect former First Lady Suzanne Mubarak to seek the presidency of Egypt.

Hosni Mubarak stepped down as president of Egypt, and left Cairo around 12:15 AM on Saturday, Manila time. Minutes later, the Marcoses were on Twitter playing “Senti Sabado.”

Egyptians partied all night as they hailed the resignation of President Hosni Mubarak. Halfway through the celebration, the Black Eyed Peas performed.

Hosni Mubarak has resigned as leader of Egypt after 30 years in power. Asked how he felt for Mubarak, Vice President Jejomar Binay said “I don’t know. We’ve only been in power for 24 years!”

Less than a day after telling Egyptians he was not stepping down, Hosni Mubarak changed his mind and left the presidential Abdeen Palace in Old Cairo. He is now living an ordinary life at No. 1 Polk Street, Sharm el-Sheikh City, Egypt.

Trillanes Flip-flops
Last February 1, Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV categorically stated in front of journalists that former Defense Sec. Angelo Reyes was the “powerful man” behind former military comptroller Carlos F. Garcia. Nine days later, he had an apparent change of mind and claimed it wasn’t Reyes after all. Geez, who do you think are? Hosni Mubarak?

Nine days after telling the whole world that former Defense Sec. Angelo Reyes was the “powerful man” behind retired Major. General Carlos F. Garcia, Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV flip-flopped and stated it wasn’t Reyes but someone else. Nine days from now, Trillanes is expected to reverse himself and say that Reyes has, in fact a reputation to protect.

Rich and Ugly
To marry a non-handsome but rich guy: this was the response of 57 percent of Filipino women surveyed by the Social Weather Stations. Liz Uy wasn’t one of them.

According to a Social Weather Stations survey, 51 percent of Filipinos prefer someone who is rich though ugly. They were described as ‘practical.’ The remaining 49 percent was ‘choosy.’
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“It’s better to be alone for the right reasons than to be with someone for the wrong ones!” – Author Unknown

“Did he really say that?” Moment
“Maganda pero boba! Alam mo kung bakit? Magha-hire ako ng tutor. Ipasok mo sa eskwela. Pag-aralin mo. Natututunan naman ‘yan eh. Kesa naman pangit, araw-araw pag gising mo sa umaga ‘yung mukhang pangit [ang makikita mo]. Iiwan mo rin ‘yun balang araw.”
~ABS-CBN news anchor Julius Babao

Survey Says
Interesado ka na ba ngayon sa football? Manonood ka na ba ng larong ito?
- OO naman. Matagal na. 41.25%
- Hindi pa rin. Wala akong kainte-interes d’yan. 25.31%
- If only for the Azkals, why not? 33.44%

Elsewhere
ABS-CBN News: Robles: Malacañang knew it wasn’t Reyes but did nothing

Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism: The final words of Angelo Reyes

William Esposo (Philippine Star): Haunted by the ghost of Angie Reyes

Newsbreak: The troubled times of Angie Reyes

Manila Standard Today: Tañada vs. Tañada

More Personal
Monday.
Undercard: Heat vs. Boston. #beattheheat
Main Event: Lakers vs. Magic #beattheheat pa rin!
Let’s go Lakers!

Wala Lang
“Oo, inaamin ko, saging lang kami. Pero maghanap ka ng puno sa buong Pilipinas, saging lang ang may puso! Saging lang ang may puso!” – Mark Lapid, “Apoy sa Dibdib ng Samar”

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AZKALS… KAYO NA!

THE PHILIPPINE FOOTBALL TEAM defeated Mongolia, 2-0 in the first leg of their 2012 Asian Football Confederation Challenge Cup pre-qualifying match in Bacolod City. It was all Azkals from start to finish. German coach Hans Michael Weiss described it as “a good game.” Goalkeeper Neil Etheridge described it as “my rest day.”

The national football team paid a courtesy call on President Aquino Thursday. The meeting was fun and informative. The President advised the young Azkals on how to enhance team unity. And the Azkals advised the President on how to ‘achieve’ goals.

The Azkals paid a courtesy call on President Aquino Thursday. When the energetic Azkals arrived, the President cheered, the PSG applauded, and the President’s speechwriter Mai Mislang fainted.

The Philippine football team paid a courtesy call on President Aquino. Upon entering the palace, the youthful Azkals felt so Filipino… while the President felt like a lolo.

The Azkals’ goalkeeper, Fil-Brit Neil Etheridge and President Aquino had a chance to talk Thursday in Malacañang. It was a brief conversation between a single and popular boylet, and Neil Etheridge. #walangkokontra

Reluctant
Reports say President Aquino may not visit the wake of former AFP Chief of Staff Angelo Reyes saying, “We were never close.” When Kris Aquino heard this, she said, “Kapatid nga kita! Aha-ha-ha”

Now Welcome
Mrs. Teresita Reyes, wife of former AFP Chief of Staff Angelo Reyes says critics of her husband including the acerbic Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV are now welcome to his wake. By the way, Trillanes, according to rumors, has also softened his stance on Reyes. He’s now willing to hear him talk.

Underground River
President Aquino is encouraging Filipinos to support the campaign to make the underground river in Palawan one of the world’s New Seven Wonders of Nature. The President visited Puerto Princesa City Wednesday. Asked why he chose to visit the subterranean river, the President said, “We are close.”

Dominguez Arrested
Authorities have arrested suspected carjack ringleader Roger Dominguez. Of course, Dominguez would still be “out there” if he was a senator.

NBI Inmates Escape
Two inmates have escaped from an NBI detention cell in Manila by covering with a face towel the CCTV camera installed at the back of the facility. Frustrated NBI officers are filing obstruction of justice against the towel.

Hi-Tech Confession
Reports say there’s a new iPhone and iPad application that would help Roman Catholics prepare for a confession. The new app costs $1.99 – one dollar for Apple, 99 cents for the Church. Amen!

Overseas…
In the southeast African nation of Malawi, somebody has proposed an Anti-Farting Bill. And everyone was like, “Sa Malawi na nakatira si Lito Lapid??!!?”

Phil si Angel
Via Twitter, Azkal Phil Younghusband has invited actress Angel Locsin for a Valentine’s Day date. Expect Luis Manzano to admit his romance with Angel this coming Sunday on The Buzz.
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“All of civility depends on being able to contain the rage of individuals.”
~ Joshua Lederberg

Briefly Noted
Is that your final answer Mr. Senator? O, magbabago pa ang utak mo two weeks from now?

Survey Says
Dapat bang isisi sa banat ng mga kritiko ni Secretary Angelo Reyes ang kanyang pagpapakamatay?
- Oo. 14.29%
- Hindi. 73.1%
- Medyo. 12.62%

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Personal
Friday. LA Lakers vs. some green team from the east.
Let’s go Lakers!

PERSONS OF INTEREST

THE FILIPINO-CHINESE community will be celebrating Chinese New Year this week. Aside from the usual fireworks display, there will be dancing, drinking, singing, and the most anticipated part of the Armed Forces of the Philippines – “gift giving.”

Rabusa’s Exposé
During a Senate hearing last week, retired Lt. Col. George Rabusa, erstwhile military budget officer revealed that former Armed Forces chiefs allegedly received millions of pesos in “gifts” drawn from military funds. It turned out however that there was really nothing new in Rabusa’s revelation because this tradition in the Philippine military antedates Santa Claus himself.

Former AFP chief Angelo Reyes allegedly amassed more than P100 million during his 20-month tenure plus no less than P50 million “pabaon” when he retired in 2001. In a Senate hearing, an emotional Reyes confronted retired Lt. Col. George Rabusa and asked, “Ikaw na ang magsabi, ako ba’y naging ganid o suwapang?” No sir, that’s not ganid; that’s not swapang. That’s plunder.

Are you familiar with Lt. Col. George Rabusa?? As a former military budget officer, he was used by his superiors to amass millions of pesos from military funds. Today, he is being used by the Estradas to get back at Angelo Reyes. Apparently, he’s getting used to it.

Chaos in Cairo
In the Northern African nation of Egypt, thousands of protesters are camping out against the regime of President Hosni Mubarak. Just so you know, Mubarak has been in power for 29 long years… or as the Binays of Makati City would say, “Bago pa lang.”

Thousands of Egyptians are camping out in Egypt demanding the ouster of President Hosni Mubarak. Demonstrators wanted him out of their country. In case he flees, Mubarak is not sure where to go yet although the 84-year-old leader has received “exile offers” from Israel, France, and Senator Loren Legarda.

Interesting
As authorities continue to hunt down the perpetrators of the bombing of a bus in Makati City last week, the Philippine National Police released Friday computer generated images (CGI) of two men whom they described as “persons of interest” – or as the PNP would say but couldn’t, “Sana ay sila na nga.”

In connection with the recent bombing of a bus in Makati City, the PNP released the CGI of two men whom they referred to as “persons of interest” – otherwise known as “the CHR is watching so let’s just call them as such.”

Authorities have released the CGI of two “persons of interest” in connection with the bombing of a passenger bus in Makati City last week. In an interesting turn of events, starlet Katrina Paula told the media that one of the men was her boyfriend.

Bruno Mars
Filipino-American R&B artist Bruno Mars is facing a court case for cocaine use. If his career takes a major hit because of drugs, he plans to just settle in the Philippines and run for Congress.

Cars
According to a study, a woman’s least favorite spot for sex is the car. Yes Mr. President, that includes Porsche.
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“Who lies for you will lie against you.”
~Bosnian Proverb

This just in!
Carjacking near Ayala. Flooding in Jeddah. Nonstop rains in South Africa. And now, KC and Piolo na? Strange times indeed. Strange times. Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with you…

Survey Says
Naniniwala ba kayong bahagi ng destabilization plot ang isyu ng carjacking at ang naganap na pambobomba sa bus sa Makati?
- No! Kalokohan. 27.56%
- ‘Yong bombing ng bus, posible. ‘Yong, carjacking, hindi. 47.44%
- YES to both! May mga grupong sinusubukan ang kakayahan ng gobyerno. 25%

PERSONAL

Last Saturday, we had so much fun playing another game on Twitter. Tweeps were asked: Ano ang isasagot mo kapag sinabihan ka ni Pangulong Aquino: “Will you marry me?” Check out the list of the funniest entries here.

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Have a safe Monday and enjoy another great week!

MARGINALIZED

Marginalized?
Have you heard the news? Mikey Arroyo is running for Congress again. He is the first nominee of “Ang Galing Pinoy,” a party-list group that claims to represent security guards! You know what their campaign slogan is? “Para sa national security… No ID, No Entry!”

Energy Sec. Angelo Reyes is also seeking a Congressional seat. Reports say Reyes is a nominee of the party-list group 1-UTAK, a coalition of jeepney drivers and operators. Reyes representing jeepney drivers is not surprising though considering that he has gotten used to accepting jobs he absolutely knows nothing about.

El Shaddai leader Bro. Mike Velarde is reportedly running for a Congressional seat via the party-list elections. He is a nominee of the pro-life group Buhay. Personally though, I think Velarde would do better as BIR Commissioner. He’s really good at collecting revenues.

Reports say Bro. Mike Velarde decided to be one of Buhay’s nominees because of the government’s distribution of condoms. If that’s his only reason, he should have just sought the chairmanship of the CBCP instead!

Can you believe it? El Shaddai leader Bro. Mike Velarde is running for Congress too! His supporters believe he’ll make a good “Speaker.”

Top 5 Things You Wouldn’t Want to Happen if Bro. Mike Velarde Becomes the Next House Speaker

No. 5: The House of Representatives will celebrate its founding anniversary in Luneta.

No. 4: As an icebreaker during marathon sessions, he’ll ask congressmen to stand up and sing “Alive, alive, alive forevermore…”

No. 3: Before and after each session, collection baskets will be passed around.

No. 2: The official House uniform will be “anything checkered.”

And the No.1 thing you wouldn’t want to happen if Mike Velarde becomes House Speaker…

During a vote, he’ll ask his fellow congressmen, “Those who are in favor… say Amen!”

Marginalized, Too?
Dermatologist Manny Calayan is also running for Congress. He is a nominee of the party-list group Alyansa ng Media at Showbiz. Critics believe though that a Calayan victory will further deteriorate the quality of House members. Lalong dadami ang “plastic.”

Backers
Unconfirmed reports say the religious bloc-voting sect Iglesia ni Cristo and the Catholic charismatic group El Shaddai Group are supporting the presidential bid of Nacionalista Party standard-bearer Manny Villar. If it’s any consolation, Noynoy Aquino has the CBCP.

CBCP and a Revolution
Caloocan Bishop Deogracias Iňiguez Jr. was quoted to have said that members of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines would join a revolt in the event of a failure of elections. Skeptics doubt though the ability of bishops to win a revolution since they couldn’t even score a victory against Health Sec. Esperanza Cabral.

Gordon On Video
Presidential bet Richard Gordon who once declared, “I don’t need celebrity endorsers,” has appeared on a music video on YouTube with his celebrity endorsers, Moymoy Palaboy. Gordon even danced on that video. When Manny Villar saw Gordon’s video, he asked him to perform live at a Nacionalista Party rally for a fee.

Have you seen the latest Moymoy Palaboy video featuring presidential bet Richard Gordon? They were so lovably cute I thought I was watching the Oompa-Loompas.

Photo of the Weak:
Ganito Kami sa Makati
Outgoing Makati City Rep. Teddyboy Locsin will be succeeded by his wife Louie, if she’d be lucky in the coming elections.

Ano ang akmang deskripsyon, caption, o pamagat sa larawan?
A: Ang noo’y mahigpit na kalaban ng tambalang Sharon at Gabby: ang kilig na loveteam nina Teddyboy at Louie.
B: Gamit na gamit na naman ang mga graduates
C: Kung tapos na ang termino ni lalaki, patakbuhin si babae
D: Parang mag-ina lang.
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“I’ve had a tough time learning how to act like a congressman. Today I accidentally spent some of my own money.”
~Joseph P. Kennedy

Survey Says
Batay sa resulta ng recent senatorial surveys, ano kaya ang nangungunang batayan ng pagpili ng mga botante?
KASIKATAN. Kilalang mga pangalan. 62%
KAHUSAYAN. Track record. 16%
PAREHO LANG. 22%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.