FATE

16 05 2010

IT’S BEEN A WEEK since the country held its first ever automated elections. At press time, Noynoy Aquino and Jejomar Binay are leading the PPCRV and the Comelec tally. This is understandable though since both candidates were supported by the INC. Aquino, by the Iglesia ni Cristo, and Binay, by the Iglesia ng Cojuangco.

With both Jejomar Binay and Mar Roxas claiming victory, the race for vice president is far from over. Analysts believe we wouldn’t be in this situation if the Liberal Party didn’t field two VP candidates.

Noynoy’s candidacy according to Inquirer columnist Conrado de Quiros is destiny. He is fated to win. The same is true for Jejomar Binay and Mar Roxas. Binay is destined to be this nation’s vice president; Roxas is destined to be Korina’s husband.

While many people would agree that Noynoy Aquino has secured the presidency, the battle for vice president remains tight. The only thing tighter is Korina Sanchez’ face.

Noynoy’s Oath Taking
Insisting that he’ll never recognize a Chief Justice appointed by President Arroyo, Noynoy Aquino says he’d rather take his oath before a barangay captain. Malacañang says it respects Aquino’s decision and adds that he can swear before anyone, anywhere. In fact, Mar Roxas has successfully done that. He swore before rallyists in Ayala.


Joint Press Con
Did you hear the news? Noynoy Aquino and Mar Roxas held a joint press conference during a wake at a funeral parlor in Tarlac City last Friday. The Liberal Party was quick to clarify though that the wake was for a slain LP supporter, and not for Roxas’ political career.

Top 5 Things Overheard at the Liberal Party Headquarters

No. 5: “Sabi ko na sa inyo eh. Hindi dapat pagtiwalaan ang hilatsa ng pagmumukha ng Peping Cojuangco na ‘yan.”

No. 4: “Hindi ka kasi nakinig! ‘Di mo dapat isinama si Korina sa concert ng Tears for Fears.”

No. 3: “Wala ka nang choice. ‘Tapos na eh. So Plan “B” ka na lang. “B”untisin mo na lang ‘yung misis mong broadcaster.”

No. 2: “Akala ko ba, atin ang ABS-CBN? Bakit sa exit polls nila, lamang si Binay?”

And the No. 1 thing overheard at Liberal Party headquarters…

“Usapang lalaki ‘Noy. Magsabi ka lang ng totoo, hindi sasama ang loob ko. Si Binay ba talaga ang ibinoto ni Kris?”

Jamby MADrigal
Sen. Jamby Madrigal is furious. She couldn’t understand why she got fewer votes than disqualified presidential candidate Vetellano Acosta. Sought for comment though, Acosta was even more furious. He couldn’t understand why a lot of people now call him ‘Teacher Neric.’

Goodbye Kris?
Remember Kris Aquino’s promise that she would leave the country with her kids if Noynoy would win and she would cause stress for him? Well, after Noynoy posted a huge lead in the election tally, a Facebook group called “Kris Aquino’s Despedida” emerged, and has since been asking Kris to live up to her promise. Guess who was its first member? James Yap.

“Kris Aquino’s Despedida,” a Facebook group whose members are asking Kris to fulfill her promise of leaving the country if Noynoy won as president has become immensely popular. To give you an idea how popular it has become… according to the latest count, it now has more supporters than Nicanor Perlas, JC De Los Reyes and Jamby Madrigal.

Imelda on Marcos
Congresswoman-elect Imelda Marcos says she is abandoning plans to bury her husband at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. The former First Lady realized the usefulness of her husband’s body when Ilocos Norte experienced rotating brownouts last month. You know, candles.

http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs441.ash1/24326_107426049294043_107392702630711_64332_7398297_s.jpg Priest Defeated
Among Ed Panlilio lost his re-election bid for the gubernatorial post in Pampanga. He has since returned to priesthood. In fact, he celebrated his first mass today, May 16. His homily was about the parable of the prodigal son.

Congressman Pacman
Boxing champion Manny Pacquiao is now a member of the House of Representatives. An athlete, an action star, and a politician who cannot speak straight English: Sarangani is the new California.

——————–
“It makes no difference who you vote for – the two parties are really one party representing four percent of the people.”
~ Gore Vidal

Briefly Noted
The election victory of both Manny Pacquiao and Imelda Marcos was mentioned on CNN. One who became famous for his footwork, and another who became infamous for her footwear.

Survey Says
Should Associate Justice Renato Corona decline his appointment as Chief Justice?
YES, Kung may delicadeza siya. 68.5%
NO. Tama ang proseso. 24.6%
Hindi ko alam ang isyu 6.9%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
Philippine Star’s Chair Wrecker wrote ‘Mar was a victim’

Newsbreak: Peping camp campaign for ‘Noy-Bi’

Another from Newsbreak: GMA abandons Gibo in Pampanga

Have a great week ahead!





WINNERS AND LOSERS

12 02 2010

CONGRATULATIONS to the Luzon resident who became the lone winner of the 201.473 million-peso jackpot prize in last night’s Super Lotto draw. Prior to that, two other Luzon residents were also declared winners: Roberto Pagdanganan and Lilia Pineda each won a province in a special draw supervised by the Commission on Elections’ Second Division.

Former Pampanga Board Member Lilia Pineda has won her recount petition against incumbent Governor Ed Panlilio. After the promulgation, the priest-on-leave’s allies said, “Para kaming binagsakan ng langit,” while Pineda’s supporters exclaimed, “Para kaming tumama sa jueteng.”

In Bulacan…
The provincial capitol now has two governors. Isang atat at isang tuko.

Reports say Roberto Pagdanganan, who was declared winner against incumbent governor Jonjon Mendoza after the recount of votes, is temporarily holding office at the provincial museum. Mendoza accused his nemesis of being “too greedy for power and position” after Pagdanganan concurrently assumed the post of curator.

On The Campaign Trail:
The TV Ads (First of A Series)
Noon: Nanonood tayo ng sitcoms o gag shows para matuwa
Ngayon: Nag-aabang tayo ng political ads para mangutya (at matuwa)

Ang Buwaya, Bow!
TG Guingona’s TV Ad (Liberal Party)
[Right click here to watch the ad before reading further]

Inspired by this hilarious anti-corruption campaign advertisement, here’s one for you TG. You know the melody.
Nakaligo ka na nga sa dagat ng buwaya
Nagpaskong mga bwitre ang ‘yong kasa-kasama
‘Yan ang alam namin
Dahil ikaw ay congressman din.

Superman, Batman, Spiderman… tumabi kayong lahat dahil narito na si…
Justiceman!

[Right click here to watch the ad before reading further]

Apat na tanong para sa kagalang-galang na dating kalihim:
1: Bilang Justiceman, ano po ang balak n’yong isuot na costume?
Pangalawa: Katulad nina Batman at Superman, nasa labas din kaya ang iyong brief?
3: Ano po ang inyong taglay na superpowers?
At pang-apat: Lalaki po kayo pero bakit “Bebot” ang iyong nickname? Follow up question: Ano po ang tawag sa inyo ng ninong o ninang ng mga anak n’yo: “Mare?”

Lakas-Kampi-CMD’s Pride?
Who needs a mascot if you have…
Binalonan, Pangasinan Mayor Ramon Guico, senatorial candidate
[Right click here to watch the ad before reading further]

Limang tanong para sa kagalang-galang na mayor:
Una: Sino po ang nagsabing karapat-dapat kayong tumakbo dahil kailangan kayo sa Senado?
2: Naniwala naman po kayo?
Pangatlo: Sabi po sa ad n’yo, “Paid for by friends of Ramon Guico” You mean, ginastusan na pala ang naturang ad nang lagay na ‘yun?
4: Kung hindi po kayo mananalo bilang senador, gusto n’yo bang mag-showbiz?
At panlima: Paano po kayo maglilingkod sa bansa nang tapat at totoo kung ang mismong buhok po ninyo ay peke?

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:mJ36rUydTNpjdM:http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gtSfm_RwwMk/SsDbCwpjpEI/AAAAAAAADHY/PNHWQHMquhs/s400/6296_252672835159_661605159_8259272_3663568_n3.jpg Madrigal’s Market Tour
TV cameras followed filthy rich senator Jamby Madrigal as she toured the metro’s markets. She never complained about the unpleasant smell but a fish vendor heard her whisper, “Mabuti pa ang market, wet.”

Sen. Jamby Madrigal toured the metro’s markets on Day 2 of her official campaign and plans to visit more this coming week. This just in! Without a party to back up her candidacy, Madrigal considers abandoning her ambition to win the presidency and shift her focus instead to becoming the new “Mr. Palengke.”

KBL’s Candidates
Kilusang Bagong Lipunan vice presidential bet, broadcaster Jay Sonza claims he is not familiar with his party’s presidential bet, Vetellano Acosta. Sonza is wondering why Acosta is running for president, why he refuses to campaign, and why his name is uniquely spelled that way.


The Fair Elections Act
Citing a provision in the Fair Elections Act, the Commission on Elections ordered “Any mass media columnist, commentator, announcer, reporter, on-air correspondent or personality endorsers” to take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, ABS-CBN operations will be crippled.

The Comelec ordered “Any mass media columnist, commentator, announcer, reporter, on-air correspondent or personality endorsers” to take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, the Inquirer will lose Conrado De Quiros and Manolo Quezon for three months.

According to the Fair Elections Act, “Any mass media columnist, commentator, announcer, reporter, on-air correspondent or personality endorsers” must take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, Malaya and the Daily Tribune will have to shut down operations for 90 days.

The Comelec has ordered celebrity endorsers to take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, TV5 would lose its only star, Dolphy – even before he could start working.

Lacson’s Case
Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s lawyer, Alex Avisado insists that the senator is not yet a fugitive from justice. He’s just a tourist.

The National Bureau of Investigation has intensified its global manhunt for Sen. Panfilo Lacson. The NBI’s intensified search has sent chills down the spine of male OFWs in Qatar.

———————–
“A great ad campaign will make a bad product fail faster. It will get more people to know it’s bad.”
~William Bernbach

Survey Says
Three months before the elections, have you decided for certain who you will vote for president?
Meron na! Sure na ako. 54%
Wala pa rin. Still thinking. 34%
Hindi ako boboto. 12%

Elsewhere
ABS-CBN Exclusive: Some groups within the Liberal Party are secretly pushing for an Aquino-Binay tandem.

Newsbreak: Guess who broke La Salle’s no-politicking rule

Have a great weekend!





2009 IN RETROSPECT

30 12 2009

IT’S THE END OF 2009. Time to hand out special awards to some of the year’s newsmakers who kept readers of this blog talking, arguing, and yes, heckling one another even.

For some of the categories, there will be a winner and a runner-up. Remember: the role of the runner-up is very important. If for any reason, the winner declines his or her award, the runner-up takes over to fulfill the responsibilities of the winner. Are you ready?

In no particular order, The 2009 Heckler’s Choices are…

“Suicide Bomber” of the Year Award
Winner: Sen. Francis ‘Chiz’ Escudero for dropping a bomb in a gathering of his supporters at Club Filipino. He quit his party and abandoned his presidential bid
“Sa aking paniniwala, sinuman pong nagpaplanong tumakbo bilang pangulo ng bansa, wala dapat partidong kinabibilangan. Ang partido lamang dapat niya ay Pilipinas at ang kanyang mga kapartido ay lahat ng Pilipino.”
Whatever Chiz, whatever!

“In Memoriam” Award
Winner: Sen. Mar Roxas’ quest for the presidency in 2010
– Disgusting political ads + Korina Sanchez + Wowowee appearances: the trifecta of a disastrous premature political campaign
– He languished in presidential surveys until he withdrew his presidential plans. For his supporters, it was a “supreme sacrifice.” For the Professional Heckler, it was a “graceful exit.”
Runner-up: Korina Sanchez’s bid for First Lady
– After praising her then fiancé’s “selfless act,” she went ballistic on radio, demanded an apology from Inquirer columnist Conrado De Quiros, and lambasted Sen. Francis “Bum Ka Lang sa UP nang Bigyan Kita ng Trabaho sa Dos’” Pangilinan. Ah, bitterness.

“Napilitan Lang Po” Award
Winner: Sen. Noynoy Aquino
– His mother and his sisters were against the idea. He lacked ambition. He lacked determination. He lacked leadership. But he’s got all the stars! That makes him the man to beat next year. Vilma Santos has a term for that: Lucky.
Runner-up: Edu Manzano
A last-minute replacement for Ronaldo Puno, the tv host is facing an uphill climb on his vice presidential bid. If it’s any consolation, there’s a chance that he’ll get more votes than Jejomar Binay, his tormentor in Makati City

“Laglagan Na” Award
Winner: Sen. Panfilo Lacson for his series of anti-Erap privilege speeches
– “God, save the Philippines from Joseph Ejercito a.k.a Joseph Estrada,” Lacson said.
– God knows whatever happened to your exposés Ping! Ano nga ba?
Runner-up: Sen. Jinggoy Estrada for unmasking the “real” Panfilo Lacson as he took the cudgels for his father
– A month-long ‘bangayan’ that exposed both camps’ misdeeds – allegations that were probably true.

“Me and My Stupid Mouth” Award
Winner: Cong. Mikey Arroyo for his incriminating statements during his live guesting on GMA 7’s “Unang Hirit.”
– He redefined the concept of idiocy.
Runner-up: Cerge Remonde on GMA’s breast implant
“As I said, res ipsa loquitur (the matter speaks for itself). Just look if the President had a breast implant. That’s a private matter. It’s obvious if women have had breast implants. The sexy actresses with (unbelievable) boobs, they’re the ones who underwent breast implants. We can’t say the same thing of the President.”
Aha! Bakit mo alam? Lagi kang nakatitig ‘no?

“Agaw-Eksena” Award
Winner: The H1N1 Virus
– It was the beginning of humanity’s end. Not!
– People avoided public places and commuter trains. Classes were suspended. La Salle Taft became a ghost town. And Asia’s first H1N1 fatality was from the House of Representatives. When the dust settled, Safeguard posted quadruple sales. Hindi kaya pakana lang ng Procter & Gamble ang H1N1 panic?
Runner-up: Former Pagsanjan, Laguna Mayor Abner Afuang
– It was neither Katrina Halili nor Maricar Reyes who showed the nation how to make Hayden Kho wet in mere seconds. It was a fuming ex-cop. And it happened during a Senate hearing.

“Opportunity Knocks Only Once” Award (Also known as ‘Oportunista’ Award)
Winner: Sen. Loren Legarda
-She changes parties faster than she changes panties. Ooops, sorry. An adversary of Sen. Manny Villar during the C5 hearings, she is now his running mate. Why are we not surprised?
Runner-up: Satur Ocampo and Liza Maza
-Initially, they ditched the Nacionalista Party because of Bongbong Marcos. But look where they are now? Rubbing elbows with the dictator’s unico ijo. Whatever happened to ideology?

“Nakausap Ko Si Lord” Award
Winner: Pampanga Gov. Among Ed Panlilio
– In announcing his presidential ambition in July 2009, Panlilio claimed God wanted him to seek higher office. He failed to warn us though that God was fickle-minded.
Runner-up: Bro. Eddie Villanueva
– He’s been saying that the Lord wants him to run. In 2004, God did endorse him but God also voted for another candidate.

“My Lips Are Sealed…” Award
Winner: Sen. Manny Villar
– To the consternation of Senators Jamby Madrigal and Panfilo Lacson, Villar refused to testify on the C5 road project double insertion fiasco at the Senate hearing. The ploy worked for Mr. Sipag at Tiyaga. He maintained his lead in presidential surveys… until Cory Aquino died.
Runner-up: Maricar Reyes
– One of the lead actresses in Hayden Kho’s indie film, Reyes stole the limelight from Katrina Halili when she bagged the Best Actress in a Single Performance Award from the public. Unfortunately, up to this day, she refuses to deliver an acceptance speech.

“Walang Makakaagaw ng Award na Ito Sa Akin” Award
Winner: National Artist Cecile Guidote-Alvarez
– She is the executive director of the National Commission for Culture and the Arts, one of two agencies tasked to search for National Artists. ‘Tapos, siya mismo nanalo?!?!?!?! FYI lang po Ms. Alvarez: naimbento na po ang konsepto ng delicadeza!
Runner-up: National Artist Carlo J. Caparas
– National Artist for Visual Arts and Film?!? Visual Arts na, Film pa? Sa’n ka pa!?!

“Sorry… Tao Lang Po” Award
Winner: Fashion designer Boyet Fajardo for his outburst in a Duty Free Philippines outlet in Parañaque City
– Fajardo’s credit card didn’t bear his signature. When the cashier asked for another ID, he got possessed, and told the staff: “Mga leche kayo! Hindi n’yo ako kilala? Ako si Boyet Fajardo! At itong putang-inang babaeng ito at ang baklang ito ay mga walang kuwentang tao! I want them fired!”
– Until now though, people are still wondering, “Sino ba ang punyetang Boyet Fajardo na ‘yan?!?”
Runner-up: HK Magazine columnist Chip Tsao for bullying his Filipina maid and calling the Philippines “a nation of public servants”
– The sad thing? It’s true.
[Fajardo and Tsao subsequently apologized but not after getting pilloried by bloggers, columnists, and some opportunist politicians.]

“WTF!” Award
Winner: President Arroyo’s Breast Implant
– Who would have thought that our diminutive president had a boob job some 20 years back? Really. Kudos to the doctors and staff of the Asian Hospital in Alabang, Muntinlupa City for leaking her medical records. Wish ko lang may magtiwala pa sa inyo. Good luck!
Runner-up: Former presidential spokesperson Lorelei Fajardo
– Whenever she spoke, I wanted to believe that she’s been “planted” by the opposition to destroy the president. For chrisssakes, tell me: how on earth was she appointed spokesperson of the world’s once 4th most powerful woman?

“Saksakan ng Kapal ng Apog” Award
Winner: Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
– From cabinet secretary to senator to vice president to president to congresswoman! What’s next? Barangay Tanod?!?
Runner-up: Andal Ampatuan Jr.
I need not elaborate. The man is a beast.

“Testing Lang… Baka Makalusot” Award
Co-Winners: Manny Pacquiao and ABS-CBN
Weeks before he fought Ricky Hatton, Pacquiao rescinded his existing deal with Solar Sports and signed a contract with ABS-CBN. Threatened with lawsuits, Manny decided to junk the Kapamilya Network and honored his contract with Solar.

“Bolahin Mo ang Lolo Mong Panot” Award (Also known as “Saan Naman Nanggaling ‘Yung Linyang ‘Yun?” Award)
Winner: Joey De Venecia’s radio political ad
“Ang buhay ko, laging may banta. Hanapbuhay inipit. Kanegosyo, tinakot. Pero lahat ng ito kaya kong tiisin makasama ko lang kayo sa pagsulong ng pagbabago at pag-angat sa kahirapan. Palabra de Honor. Delicadeza. De Venecia.”
Yeah right!
Runner-up: Mar Roxas’ “Padyak”
-“Sama-sama tayo. Hindi ko kayo pababayaan. Lalaban tayo!”
Akala ko ba lalaban tayo? Eh, bakit ka umurong?

Special Citations
1: Worst Dancer in a Political Ad Masquerading as an Information Campaign for a Government Agency
Winner: Augusto “Tito Buboy’ Syjuco for TESDA

2: Corniest Protest Paraphernalia a.k.a. “‘Pag ‘Di Pa Kami Napansin, Ewan Ko na Lang” Award
Winner: The Liberal Party’s “Bawang Wreath and Necklace” during the Anti-Con Ass rally in June 2009

FINALLY…
Quotable Quote of the Decade:
“Hello, Garci?”
_______________
“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”
~ Bill Vaughn

Survey Says
In general, how was your 2009?
Great! 23%
Good! 27%
Okay lang! 29%
Punyeta! 21%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
Have a great 2010 everyone! Again, thank you keeping me company during the past 365 days. The Professional Heckler looks forward to seeing you back here. Stay safe, healthy, and full of love. Peace!





STICKERS

23 07 2009

gma
Anti-GMA Bumper Stickers
1: Life’s A Bitch, And So Is the President
2: Pekeng Pangulo na may Pekeng Suso
3: Hindi Lahat ng Gloria ay Masarap


Anti-Mar Roxas Bumper Stickers
1: Good Politician, Better Actor
2: ‘Padyak Mo’ng Mukha Mo! Ulol!
3: Mar Roxas: Bi Now, Gay Later


Anti-Manny Villar Bumper Stickers
1: Manny Villar: Harapin Mo Kami Duwag!
2: Always No. 1 in SWS Surveys He Himself Funded
3: C5 at Tiyaga: Kung ‘Di Nabisto, Panalo!

eddie
Anti-Brother Eddie Villanueva Bumper Stickers
1: Brother Eddie: Whom the Gods Wish to Destroy…
2: Ka-sekta mo nga Nireject ka, Kami Pa!
3: A Vote for Brother Eddie is a Vote for Morality (You’ve Been Warned!)

loren
Anti-Loren Legarda Bumper Stickers
1: Loren Loren Sinta ni Edong Angara
2: Madame (Political) Butterfly: Papalit-palit, Palipat-lipat
3: I’m Male. 70. Married. (Definitely, your type!) Can I Be Your First Gentleman?

noli
Anti-Noli De Castro Bumper Stickers
1: If Noli De Castro Is Qualified, So Am I
2: Big Voice Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Big Brains
3: Noli De Castro: Kung Takot Kami Kay Gloria, Mas Takot Kami Sa ‘Yo!

among
Anti-Among Ed Panlilio Bumper Stickers
1: Among Ed Kinausap ng Diyos: Mehhh Ganun?!?
2: God Knows Hudas Talk to Him
3: Another Kapampangan in Malacañang?! Are you nuts?

erap
Anti-Joseph Estrada Bumper Stickers
1: Kung Naloko Mo Kami Noon, Hindi Na Ngayon
2: Joseph Estrada: Re-elect At Your Own Risk
3: If You Can Read This, You’re Not Erap
_________
Survey Says…
Should Father Ed Panlilio run for president?
NO: 53%
YES: 35%
I Don’t Care: 12%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.





THE RUNNING PRIEST II

21 07 2009

amonged

Among Ed
Officially announcing his bid for the presidency in 2010, Pampanga governor Fr. Ed Panlilio says God wants him to run for president… to which God said, “Ako! Ako! Ako! Lagi na lang ako!”

Father Ed Panlilio is reportedly leaving priesthood to seek the presidency in 2010. Panlilio insists God wants him to seek higher office… to which God said, “Heller! Brother Eddie ikaw ba ‘yan?”

Pampanga governor Ed Panlilio is leaving priesthood saying, “God is calling me to run for the presidency.” In a related development, the Devil is reportedly having a hard time deciding which candidate to support because there’s just too many qualified bets to choose from.
____________
“If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.”
~ Thomas Szasz

Top 10 Messages Left on Among Ed Panlilio’s Answering Machine Following His Declaration that He Would Seek the Presidency in 2010

No. 10: “Father, this is Jeff Shedlarz from Pfizer. How much do you need for your campaign?”

No. 9: “Father Ed, this is Archbishop Cruz. Ang tigas talaga ng ulo mo!”

No. 8: “Put*ng-ina Father, sigurado ka ba sa gagawin mo? Si Mar nga pala ‘to.”

No. 7: “Among Ed, si Lito Lapid po ito, ang inyong cabalen. Itatanong ko lang sana kung sino ‘yong bastos na babaeng sumagot sa telepono. Imagine, kausap ko na nga siya tapos sabi ba naman, ‘Leave your message after the tone.’ Walang breeding!”

No. 6: “Father Panlilio, si Brother Eddie ‘to. Ang lakas naman ng loob mo! Bakit? May 5 million followers ka ba?”

No. 5: “Father Eddie, si Erap ‘to. Sabihin mo lang kung kailangan mo ng First Lady. May ire-refer ako.”

No. 4: “Father, si Brother Eddie ulit ‘to. The Lord is my shepherd and he has promised me his endorsement. You better drop your plans.”

No. 3: “Among Ed, Archbishop Cruz again here. Bakit? Ano pa bang nagawa mo aside from increasing revenues from quarry operations? Meron ba?”

No. 2: “Father, si Isabela Gov. Grace Padaca ‘to. Ano bang middle name ni Archbishop Cruz: Lapid o Pineda? Parang ang laki yata ng galit niya sa ‘yo?

And the No. 1 message left on Among Ed Panlilio’s answering machine…

“Guessh who!??? Shige Among Ed, tumakbo ka! Shabi nga ng aking namayapang ama, ‘Do what ish right. Do what is bessht. And Mikey will take care of the ressht… sa kapitolyo.”
_________

Personal
I’ll be attending Kobe Bryant’s live show at the Phil Sports Arena today. I was lucky to snag a couple of courtside tickets from Nike’s Creative Agency. Thank you so much Ogilvy!

Newsbreak Online has an item on a veteran PR guy who bolted the camp of presidential contender Manny Villar.

Does Sen. Mar Roxas read The Professional Heckler? I think so. Here’s a February 2009 blog post of Prof. Danton Remoto.

ForbesTraveler’s list of the world’s most astonishing landscapes includes Bohol’s Chocolate Hills.





THE RUNNING PRIEST

19 07 2009

among Among Ed
Pampanga governor, Father Ed Panlilio has declared his intention to seek the presidency in 2010. If elected, he vows to improve the government’s tax collection… by opening more quarry sites in different parts of the country.

Among Ed II
Last Saturday, Father Ed Panlilio said he was willing to give up his priesthood to be able to run in the 2010 presidential election. Today, Mar Roxas said he’s willing to give up his manhood for the same purpose.

Mar Roxas, Again
Have you seen the sequel to Mar Roxas’ premature political ad “Padyak?” The new one is called “Ramdam.” In the ad, the presidential wannabe told a group of impoverished folks, “Ramdam ko kayo. Huwag kayong matakot. Lalaban tayo.” It wasn’t the first time he said that though. Those were the exact words he told his sperm cells the first time he slept with Korina.

Cory Aquino
To focus on her ailing mother – former President Corazon Aquino, Kris Aquino said she’ll stop making movies for a while. Don’t you just admire Tita Cory? Even in pain, she’s still doing us a huge favor.

myrna First Ms U Delegate
Myrna Sese Panlilio-Borromeo, the first Binibining Pilipinas to the Miss Universe pageant [She failed to make it to the next round.] has died from cardiac arrest. During her funeral, a Bb. Pilipinas Charities representative gave a short but somber three-word eulogy: “Thank you girl.”

LIFE-US-BRITAIN-MAN-OLDEST World’s Oldest Man
Henry Allingham, the world’s oldest man died at the age of 113 in London. Allingham had five grandchildren and 12 great-grandchildren, 14 great-great grandchildren and one great-great-great grandchild. The cause of death: extreme exhaustion after reading children’s stories.
______
“It is Hell, of course, that makes priests powerful, not Heaven, for after thousands of years of so-called civilization fear remains the one common denominator of mankind.”
~Henry Louis Mencken

Elsewhere…
The Philippine Daily Inquirer is operating a radio station now. Read here.

Is Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay really incorruptible? A COA report says otherwise.

Survey Says…
Who’s gonna win this year’s UAAP cage wars?
Cheering na lang: 33%
La Salle: 26%
Ateneo: 26%
UST: 5%
FEU: 5%
UE: 3%
Adamson: 1%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.








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