GRILLED PORK

14 08 2013

1NAPOLES

EVERYONE’S still talking about the roundtable discussion between alleged pork barrel scam mastermind Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles and the editors and reporters of the Philippine Daily Inquirer. Apparently, Napoles took the term ’roundtable’ literally. Paikut-ikot ang sagot niya.

The Philippine Daily Inquirer published the verbatim transcript of its interview with Janet Napoles. In case you missed it, you’ll find the interview in the Comic Relief section.

According to Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles, her lawyer was not told that she was going to the Inquirer office. Napoles was not told no one’s going to buy that.

Kapunan
Interviewed by GMA News, Jenny Napoles’ lawyer Lorna Kapunan said her client never knew Senators Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla personally – “ever.” Attorney Kapunan may be a tough woman but she can be truly funny sometimes.

In the same interview, Kapunan reiterated that Jenny Napoles derives her income from coal. In the interest of fairness, we will try our very best to get the side of the coal.

Openly attacking the Inquirer which ran a series of stories on the pork barrel scam, lawyer Lorna Kapunan said, “All the things you write in PDI, the same thing you do to Janet Napoles, we can do it to you!” To which the Inquirer replied, “Why? We just (unintelligible) difference (unintelligible) Janet Napoles (unintelligible) the report so (unintelligible) as far as she’s (unintelligible).”

1Cardinal Tagle
The issue of pork barrel scam has moved Cardinal Antonio Tagle Jr. to tears. Of course, if Tagle listens to Napoles or Kapunan, he’ll easily be moved to laughter.

Korina
Janet Lim-Napoles refuses to reveal the name of her coal company in Indonesia saying, Korina Sanchez is already doing a story on that. Korina has also interviewed a business partner of Napoles who vouched for her firm’s legitimacy. On dzMM, Korina also talked to a witness who attacked the character of whistleblower Benhur Luy. So far, Korina is doing a better job than Kapunan.

House Probe
Rumors say a number of lawmakers are either friends or business partners of Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles. Here’s the latest news: as soon as the NBI concludes its probe on the pork barrel scam, congressmen will invite Napoles to a separate inquiry. Unfazed, the alleged pork barrel queen has expressed willingness to attend the hearing. After all, it’s just Congress. Or as Napoles would call it, “safe House.”

In other news…
Asked if he’s dating anyone, House Speaker Feliciano Belmonte told ANC, “At the age of 76, who would be interested?” And Loren Legarda was like, “Don’t be so suuure!”

1Oil Spill
Reports say oil giant Petron Corporation has apologized for the damage caused by the massive oil spill in Cavite last week. The report didn’t state though when will Petron apologize for the damage caused by unjust price increases.

“Decapitated”
In Pasay City, a 34-year-old wife cut off her 51-year-old husband’s penis in a fit of jealous rage. Authorities are reportedly filing a case against the wife. But I seriously doubt if the case will prosper. The evidence would not stand up in court.

Reports say the severed portion of the man’s sex organ has yet to be found. Efforts to reconstruct the penis were all in vein!

Racism in Switzerland?
Oprah Winfrey revealed that while shopping in Zurich, she asked a boutique saleslady if she could see a bag right above her head. The woman replied, “No. It’s too expensive.” Oprah was offended. The next day, she bought Zurich.
————————————————
LAWYER: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.
~ The Cynic’s Dictionary

Sound Bites
“Kuya, bibigyan kita ng picture. ’Wag mo na akong picturan. Pangit ako ngayon.”
~Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles to an Inquirer photographer during the roundtable discussion

“I was encouraged to attend the basketball game, as either Chief Booster and Lucky Charm; and since we didn’t win, perhaps now I am being blamed for [Gilas'] loss.”
~President Aquino

Elsewhere
Rappler.Com: Janet ‘Jenny’Lim-Napoles and a tragic past

Enjoy the rest of the week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

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6 responses

14 08 2013
Nancy Avelino

This is so funny! Again good job!

Sent from my iPhone

14 08 2013
JM T DS

“The evidence will not stand in court.” — that’s what she said :)

14 08 2013
Angry Bird (@AngryBird1905)

saket sa ulo ng mga sagot ni JLN at talagang sinabi nyang mahilig magpainterview si Kapunan. in fairness kayKapunan di lang pala text ni Kris A ang dinededma nya lahat pala naman ng text sa kanya hehehe peace Atty!

ahh pano pala ba basahin to AMWSLAI? :))

14 08 2013
kenkoisanchez

Reblogged this on KENSAN PH.

14 08 2013
geniaestranero

Reblogged this on geniaestranero.

15 08 2013
Manuel "Boy" Mejorada

I find it hard to understand why the President is eerily so quiet about this scandal.

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