LET THERE BE LIGHT (2013)

12 04 2013

ANOTHER DOSE of light bulb jokes for the weekend. Enjoy!

LB
Q: How many Franklin Drilons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and one to hold the ladder. (Careful!)

Q: How many President Aquinos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and one to slam the previous administration for the old, overpriced bulb.

Q: How many Toby Tiangcos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one but on condition that you’ll first identify the group who paid for the new bulb.

Q: How many Jackie Enriles does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and one to shoot the old bulb.

Q: How many Nancy Binays does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. She’s not qualified to do so.

Q: How many Teddy Casiños does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and one to criticize the government for approving the power rate hike.

Q: How many political dynasties does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They won’t. They’ll insist that there’s nothing wrong with the bulb.

Q: How many politicians and DPWH officials does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: one to change it, another to change it again, and one more to change it for the third time even if the bulb is still working.

Q: How many Juan Ponce Enriles does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. But he’ll ask the other senators to do it in exchange for bonuses.


Q: How many JV Ejercitos, Imee Marcoses and Manny Villars does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Secret.

Q: How many Migz Zubiris does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one but he’ll quit the job halfway.

Q: How many Aga Muhlachs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Is he even a resident of the house?

Q: How many Aquino sisters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four: one to change it, two to speak against the old bulb, and one to just quietly sit there and wonder why the changing of the bulbs has to be aired live on TV.

Q: How many Ongpaucos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Q: How many Supreme Court justices does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifteen: 7 to change it, and 8 to reverse it.

Q: How many Catholic bishops does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They refuse to accept change.

Q: How many South Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who needs artificial light when you have thousands of Moons and Suns?

Q: How many Mindanaoans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What for? They don’t have electricity.

Q: How many Tito Sottos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Bakit pa? Wala naman silang kuryente.

Q: How many Ricky Los does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Why not change it yourself?

Q: How many PUP students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and one to burn the old bulb.

Q: How many UST students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it, one to write an editorial praising UST’s superiority over Ateneans and La Sallians when it comes to changing light bulbs.


Q: How many Kiefer Ravenas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to assist and one to change it.

Q: How many UP students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100: one – to lift another so he could change the light bulb, and 98 to cheer them on.

Q: How many La Sallians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: “I’m sorry pare but I’m busy with my new car eh. What’s a light bulb pare?”
——————————————-
“You have to find what sparks a light in you so that you in your own way can illuminate the world.”
~ Oprah Winfrey

Sound Bites
“Before I die, I want to say that the one who killed my son is Jackie Enrile.”
~Retired Navy Capt. Ernesto Lucas, father of 19-year-old Ernest Jr. who was allegedly killed by Jackie Enrile in 1975

Have a great weekend!

[Photos: YahooPh]

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11 responses

12 04 2013
Fernando Fausto

FUNNNNY.

________________________________

12 04 2013
angreenmolester

Ay. Akala ko iuutos ng La Sallian kay Manong eh. :)
Buo na naman araw ko Mr. PH! :)

13 04 2013
Libertas

Q. How many congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Nobody knows. They won’t release their SALN ( Screwing-in A Lightbulb Number).

Q. How many Biazons does it take to change a light bulb.

A. One. But he needs more time. He has lost the new bulbs

Q. How many escuderos does it take to change a light bulb.

A. Three. One to change it. One to hold the bottle of whisky. One to make a cheesy comment about heart being the light in his life.

Q. How many kris aquinos does it take to change a light bulb.

A. None. She gets a dumb basketball player to attempt it, but it doesn’t need changing. All a ruse.

13 04 2013
Anonymous

How many light bulbs to see Jejomar Binay

13 04 2013
Ching

We know naman what a light bulb is pare, we’re just too busy with our new cars and gadgets. ;)

13 04 2013
Libertas

How many marcoses does it take to change a light bulb.

None. Too busy dressing up as drag queens, and gender swapping.

( amusing true story. Mark Peel who is the chef/owner of campanile in los angeles. – great restaurant by the way — said he had to be stopped from throwing imelda marcos out of his restaurant for her obnoxious behaviour.
You can take the marcoses out of the philippines, but not the jungle monkey out of them. True story.

P.s do filipinos go anywhere else except los angeles and las vegas

17 04 2013
senior60

and when did mark told you libertas about the marcoses?

13 04 2013
Libertas

Q. How many tingting cojuangcos does it take to change a light bulb?

A. No, Don’t. In light she scares the children. She looks her best in a blackout.

14 04 2013
iramzb

Q: how many professionalheckler does it take to change a light bulb?
A:One: to change it with xmas lights para kulorful n ang buhay politika :) haha..

15 04 2013
Andrew Pardillo ♫♪♫ (@andrewpardzko)

Q: How many Mindanaoans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What for? They don’t have electricity.
MADE MY DAY. HAHAHA

15 04 2013
Failure Equation

“Q: How many Kiefer Ravenas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to assist and one to change it.”

Three, actually. Third one would be flopping to change the bulb.

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