QUIZTIONS FOR SENATORIABLES ATBP.

8 04 2013

POLITICAL AND PERSONAL questions that wouldn’t possibly be asked in televised debates and forums. Enjoy!

10nancNancy Binay
You refused to debate Risa Hontiveros and were quoted to have said, “The best forum for us to have the debate – on the Senate floor.” Question: What is the etymology of the word ‘presumptuous?’

Risa Hontiveros
Persistent rumors say you are dating political adviser Ronald Llamas. What is wrong with you?

JV Ejercito
According to the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism, you have a secret account in the British Virgin Islands. Why are we not surprised? Elaborate.

Loren Legarda
You’ve been loveless for seven years now while actress T’ya Pusit, 64 is going to marry her 27-year-old boyfriend next year. Write a 100-word essay on this topic: “Bakit mapagbiro si Mother Nature?”

Ricardo Penson
You had been married four times and separated four times. When will you divorce your current partner?

Antonio Trillanes
Despite being detained at Camp Crame a few years back, your travel expenses were the highest among senators. Tanong: Where did you learn astral projection and how far did it take you?

Cynthia Villar
Complete this line from poet, satirist, and lawyer John Donne: “No man is an… ”
A: Island in the Caribbean
B: British Virgin Islands

1tcTingting Cojuangco
Harper’s Bazaar once named you as one of the world’s 100 most beautiful women. What happened?

Teddy Casiño
What is the relevance, if at all, of the New People’s Army in today’s world?

Ernesto Maceda
Some people describe you as a ‘trapo.’ If recent surveys are accurate, you’re going to lose in the coming elections. How do you want us to celebrate?

Bro. Eddie Villanueva
You’ve lost your presidential bid twice. You’re not performing well in surveys. Why is God doing this to you?

Grace Poe
Phone-in question: Kung nais n’yong ipagpatuloy ang nasimulan ni FPJ, bakit hindi po kayo nag-action star?

Sonny Angara
Your father had been romantically linked to Sen. Loren Legarda. Tanong: Naniniwala ka ba sa kasabihang “Kapag may usok, may apoy?” If not, bahala ka.

ER Ejercito
In a recent interview, you said, “Hindi lang ako governor; artista rin ako. At hindi ako basta-bastang artista; ako si Asiong Salonga at ako si El Presidente!” For 30 seconds, rearrange the letters in the phrase “A DULL NOISE” to form a word that best describes you.

Joseph Estrada and Alfredo Lim
Naging saksi ang publiko sa batuhan n’yo ng putik at nakawiwindang na mga rebelasyon sa isyu ng droga, babae, sugal, krimen, at iba pa. Kung pagtitiwalaan pa rin kayo ng mga taga-Maynila, ano ang problema nila?

Generic Questions for All Candidates
Sa buong buhay n’yo ba ay NEVER kayong nagbulsa unlawfully ni isang kusing mula sa buwis ng taumbayan? Kung hindi, sinong niloko n’yo?

Milyun-milyong piso na ang nagagastos mo sa kampanya. Sa paanong paraan mo ito babawiin? Lagyan ng check ang mga posibleng sagot:
_____ Komisyon sa pork barrel
_____ Drug lords, jueteng lords, illegal loggers, at iba pang criminal elements
_____ Lobby money mula sa mga grupong may vested interests
_____ Big time bonus mula sa Senate president
_____ Wala akong planong bawiin ang nagastos sa kampanya. Patunay lamang ito na tapat ang aking hangaring makapaglingkod sa aking kapwa. Jooooke!

DID YOU MISS PART 1 of QUIZTION SENATORIABLES EDITION? Click here.
—————————————————
“Popularity should be no scale for the election of politicians. If it would depend on popularity, Donald Duck and The Muppets would take seats in the Senate.”
~Orson Welles

Sound Bites
“Ang cedula ay isang bagay na hindi na kailangan ngayon. Spanish time pa ‘yan! Pwede kang kumuha ng cedula at any time sa ilalim ng tulay, kung saan-saan at minsan nakakakuha ka pa ng cedula na walang pangalan, at hindi filled-up.”
~BIR Commissioner Kim Henares

Have a productive week!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

[Photo Credit: Philippine Daily Inquirer, Blogger Manila, Philippine Star]

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17 responses

8 04 2013
Libertas

Astral projection, my favorite john donne quote, and stinging harpers bazaar usage. Kudos; and if only you were a guest on harapan 2013 – where is lynda jumilla when you need her – ah, another freebie trip.

Serious question for bam aquino.

I notice you are using “harvard educated”, and “harvard alumnus” in ‘media press releases’.
Since when did harvard allow attendees at a 2 week paid public course to use that terminology, or particularly to become/call themselves alumni. Not as far as i know. ( please do not blame volunteers, or GMA).

As an Oxford alumnus, i take great exception at someone exaggerating their academic abilities with a clear intent to deceive. Shades of hapinoy again (you know what i mean), and clearly some inherent character flaw.
A grain of truth is built into an unquestioned lie thanks to a compliant media. Disgraceful. What next, Plagiarism. Copycat – ah, already doing that.

8 04 2013
Nancy V. Avelino

Grabe! Super nakakatawa! Congrats to the genius known as professional heckler!

8 04 2013
Goyo

Napanood ko kagabi ‘tong si Ricardo Penson sa Siete. Sa sobrang tulis at purol, hindi kasya ang isang minuto kung paano lulusot sa isyu tungkol sa pagiging babaero at usaping pang-senado.

8 04 2013
Loney Lonski

Grace Poe: the best! loool :))

9 04 2013
edwin binalla

Ricardo Penson
You had been married four times and separated four times. When will you divorce your current partner?

My question sa FB ad nya: “How true is it?”

The Professional Heckler
professionalheckler.wordpress.com
“The problem with political jokes is they get elected.*”
about an hour ago · Like · Remove Preview

Reply ni Ricardo Penson “Ask chiz, ask Koko, ask Pia, ask Loren, ask anybody & they will tell you the same thing- it’s non of your business. Hope you’re happy.”

12 04 2013
butch

they’re looking for a rare form of sex ? Or have they got it now with their
recent flings ?

9 04 2013
HappinessisNotaDisease

“Ang cedula ay isang bagay na hindi na kailangan ngayon. Spanish time pa ‘yan! Pwede kang kumuha ng cedula at any time sa ilalim ng tulay, kung saan-saan at minsan nakakakuha ka pa ng cedula na walang pangalan, at hindi filled-up.”
~BIR Commissioner Kim Henares

EXACTLY!!!

9 04 2013
Coleen

Where’s Escudero ? ah,i guess his drunk :) he’s good at it :)

9 04 2013
BibiGandangHari

I love chiz escudero cause he’s not afraid to tell all the people that he’s GAY :)

9 04 2013
Don J

A DULL NOISE = delusional… hahaha… nice one!

9 04 2013
Paul

DELUSIONAL hahaha

10 04 2013
che

“a dull noise” very apt….DELUSIONAL! LOL!

12 04 2013
senior60

dapat silang lahat above ay mag “write a 100-word essay” sa mga questions na nakatuka sa kanila

i am especially interested sa sasabihin ni bro. villanueva

14 04 2013
senior60

alam ni nancy na talo siya sa debate kay riza kaya sa senate floor na lang siya makikipag dahil hindi naman sila magkita doon

14 04 2013
senior60

what is wrong nga ba with risa? beautiful, brainy and popular, pero even without llamas parang matatalo pa rin sya, try kaya nya to get away with her signature bandana na nakasampay sa kanyang balikat

26 04 2013
sairusuthevairusu

You, Heckler will always be a writing and blogging inspiration! Keep up the oh-so-amazing work! :)

11 05 2013
passporttorainbows

Goodness! If half the people running have as much wit as this blogger, we’d have better choices. :)

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