ANONYMOUS

18 05 2012

Half-Filipina Jessica Sanchez is through to the finalé of American Idol Season 11. Two weeks back, Manny Pacquiao declared that she would win the title “in Jesus’ name.” I hope Pacman was not misquoted. Good luck Jessica!

“Ako ay natutuwa at nagpupugay sa tagumpay ng kababayan nating si Jessica Sanchez. Ang kanyang talento ay tunay na ikinararangal nating lahat. Nawa’y makamit niya ang titulo sa susunod na linggo. Karangalan siya ng ating bansa. Mabuhay ka Jessica!”
~ (Insert politician’s name here)

ANONYMOUS, an impeachment trial regular granted this blog a quick interview via Facebook chat. But ‘Anonymous’ remains evasive despite his/her newfound fame. Here are excerpts from the exclusive conversation.

Kumusta ka na?

Heto, malihim pa rin.

Sino ka ba talaga?

Secreeeet.

Sige, kung ayaw mong ‘pakilala, ano na lang ang gender mo?

Depende. Minsan, nag-aanyong small lady ako. Minsan naman, presidente ng bangko. Depende talaga sa sitwasyon eh. At depende sa kukuha ng serbisyo ko.

Saan ka ba nakatira?

Depende rin. Pero lately, napapadalas ako sa mga gate.

Gate nino?

Depende pa rin. Pwedeng gate ng kongresista o kaya gate ng civil society leader. Walang permanente eh.

Last Wednesday, galit na galit sa ‘yo si Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago. Nabulyawan tuloy si Harvey Keh. Anong reaksyon mo?

Naloka nga ako kay senadora. Talak nang talak. For a brief moment, akala ko a-appear si Mon Tulfo to take photos. ‘Buti na lang, wala siya sa Senado. Otherwise, baka may naganap na namang bugbugan. Kaloka.

“Naloka” ka? A-ha! Babae ka ‘no?

Secreeet!

Ipapadampot ka raw ni Senator Santiago sa PNP at AFP.

Ha-ha-ha Bakit? May ideya ba sila sa hitsura ko? Eh ‘yun ngang Palparan at Joel Reyes na nasa diyaryo halos araw-araw ang mukha, ‘di nila mahuli-huli, ako pa kaya? Isang malaking good luck!

Marami ka raw alam tungkol sa bank accounts ni Chief Justice Corona? Saan mo ba kinuha ‘yong mga impormasyon na ‘yon?

Depends. Iba’t iba ang source ko eh.

Are these verified sources?

Depends.

Anong depends? Either your sources are credible or not!

I will not rely on dubious sources! Your assertion is totally baseless.

You are now arguing with the blogger/interviewer!

I’m sorry. Mea culpa.

Apology accepted!

Noted.

Noted your face! Sumasagot-sagot ka pa! Gusto mo talaga ikaw ang may last word. Now, let me reform my question. Kilala mo ba si Congressman Umali, si Harvey Keh o si Bolet Banal?

No.

Kung ‘di ka nila kilala, bakit tumanggap sila ng envelope mula sa ‘yo?

I am not competent to answer that question.

Sinungaling!

Kung ‘di ka pala naniniwala sa akin, eh ‘di tapusin na natin ang interview na ‘to!

Again, you’re arguing with the interviewer/blogger!

I’m sorry. Mea culpa again.

Apology accepted again at ‘wag kang maka-noted-noted dahil hindi ka si Kiko Pangilinan!

‘K.

Any final message sa mga nagbabasa ng panayam na ito…

Mga kababayan, unawain po ninyo kung bakit hindi ako makalantad. Kailangan ko ng seguridad. Ayokong ma-Alfred Mendiola alias Bading. Sa tamang panahon, malalaman n’yo rin ang tunay kong katauhan.

Siguro bading ka rin ‘no?

Leviticus 18:22 “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.”

Homophobic! Humanda ka sa LGBT!

Oh, I’m sorry. Mea culpa.

Apology accepted.

Nota! I mean, noted!

-End of Interview-

From the Tabloids!

PNoy at Grace Lee, friends na lang
> Katulad ng inaasahan

PNoy kay CJ: Walang personalan
> Silang dalawa, ‘di ba pwedeng magkaibigan?

Pacman hinamon ng suntukan ng mga beki
> Ah ito talaga, ‘di pwedeng friends

Pagbatikos ni Manny sa mga bakla, oks sa CBCP
> The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Pacquiao: Hindi ako galit sa mga bading
> CBCP nawalan ng kakampi

Mga bakla at tomboy sa gobyerno pinalalantad
> Ayaw nila; takot sila kay Pacquiao

Mga bakla at tomboy sa gobyerno pinalalantad
> DepEd secretary pumalag

$12M ni Corona ‘di kasinungalingan – Ombudsman
> Baka “gawa ng demonyo?”

Kulang sa sukat, puwedeng mag-pulis
> Sukat ng t’yan?

Dahil sa titig, sekyu patay
> If looks could kill, it will

Turistang Intsik sa PH, pinauuwi na ng China
> ‘Yong mga drug traffickers na Intsik, isama n’yo na!

Claudine, handang bigyan ng ‘psychological treatment’ ng Gabriela
> Psychologically ill s’ya?

Ex-PGMA magpapasuri sa puso
> Nagli-leak ulit? Ooops, puso pala. Akala ko s*so. Mea culpa

Batas vs premature campaigning ikakasa
>Bong, Chiz, Cynthia Villar at Joel Villanueva ng Tesda, naalarma

Good News: Ate Shawie, ‘di na napipikong tawaging balyena
> Bad News: Mga balyena, napikon nang tawaging Shawie!

Helen Gamboa, takot sampalin si Susan (Roces)
> Si Sharon na lang daw, pwede?

Bong, pinayuhan si Alma sa pagpasok sa Senado
> Ang maniwala sa sabi-sabi, walang bait sa sarili

Lani Mercado, ‘di tatakbong senador
> Thank you!

Alma Moreno tatakbong senador
> No, thanks.

(Thanks to Remate, Abante Tonite, Abante, Hataw, Pilipino Star Ngayon, Pinoy Parazzi)
———————————————-
“The problem with losing your anonymity is that you can never go back.”
~ Marla Maples

Quotes Quiz: Who said…
“Final three na! Go Jessica Sanchez! Make our country proud! Meanwhile, if CJ Corona testifies truthfully, final episode na rin… :)”
A: Cong. Sonny Angara
B: Cong. Miro Quimbo
C: Cong. Erin Tañada
D: Atty. Edwin Lacierda

Have a great weekend!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Quotes Quiz Answer:
C: Cong. Erin Tañada via Twitter

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18 responses

18 05 2012
libertas

“People are like a box of crayons. Each crayon has a different stroke of colour, and each layer brings with it its own identity.”
Donna summer – R.I.P
Gay icon, disco queen, and model of tolerance.

Pacquaio take note.

19 05 2012
senior60

si pacquiao na naman, lagi na lang si pacquiao

18 05 2012
Maribel Angodung

Hahaha! I am at the parlor and my manicurist might think I’m going nuts. Laughing na mag-isa:) Anonymous et al….. Partylist!

18 05 2012
jay kanu

haha..vastly entertainment! nota! i mean noted

18 05 2012
William

thanks for this :)

18 05 2012
libertas

Jessica Sanchez – lesson.
Talent has more chance of success in other countries.

Media mafia take note.
Give home grown talent like Sabrina a chance

good luck jessica – for your talent and hard work

19 05 2012
senior60

sabrina who? from abs? you mean, you are already following

tagalog shows?

21 05 2012
libertas

i know Sabrina.
look her up – wikipedia

18 05 2012
libertas

When someone has sawdust between their ears then it is better they just continue looking at comic books rather than try reading and thinking.
And not even the gays in congress or tv are as narcissistic or up their own a#se as much as thickman.
What a plonker.

18 05 2012
jasper

wish ko lang…………….jessica sings the pampansang awit sa laban ni pacman.

21 05 2012
etchosera - nagtatanong lang po

di ba mas maganda kung yung Pambansang Awit ng Pilipinas ang kantahin nya sa American Idol?

19 05 2012
Mel

i believe as one of the rules/policy of AI management contract…jessica or any of the 11 or 10 finalists cannot sing to any shows unless it’s allowed by the AI management. She has a contract with them for a year and if she sings outside the realm of AI’s approved venue or not within the AI Concert’s contract, she will be fine or disqualified or both! Hence, if Pacquiao ever to fight Mayweather after her contract with AI, then perhaps she might just be be able to do that.. if she’s willing to do it though…

19 05 2012
senior60

hindi kaya si anonymous ay si anonymous na poster mo mister heckler na ewan ko kong mag-isa lang ba siyang anonymous or marami sila

21 05 2012
Anonymous

kanang anonymous nyor, mao na ang yawa nga kaistorya ni heckler sa mga previous interviews.

21 05 2012
senior60

hahahahaha pastang alegreha daghana gyud diay mga bisaya uy , adto bitaw ko sa manila, gikan sa pier abot sa bisan diin na lang, mga bisaya kadaghanan, hala asa na man ko, nakalimot noon ko sa yawa da, maayo ra sad

19 05 2012
Anonymous

There was a time Claudine was “under medication” — naalala nyo yun?

22 05 2012
Anonymous

yung pumunta sya sa thailand? hehe…

21 05 2012
Nonoy

Sana matuto na ang mga babae na wag pagamit sa mga PR strategies ni Noynoy. Kawawa sila. Umaasa. Pero walang pag-asa. Dahil ang totoo, ang gusto ni PNoy ay… ay… di babae. Dahil ang gusto ng president ay … ay.. la..la..la.. (kanta yan). Ang gusto ni PNoy ay.. baril. Putokan na! hahaha.

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