OF BULLIES AND BREASTS

13 05 2012


HE JIA, a news anchor for China Central Television declared that the Philippines was “China’s inherent territory and the Philippines belongs to Chinese sovereignty.” What’s your take on the issue?

Retired Justice Serafin Cuevas: Objection! No basis!

President Aquino: Walang lamangan. Walang pagnanakaw. Walang wangwang!

Chief Justice Corona: ‘Yan ay malinaw na pakikialam at pagyurak sa independence ng Pilipinas. Hinding-hindi titigil ang ating mga kalaban hangga’t ‘di nila tayo napapabagsak.

Ramon Tulfo: Pilit nga nilang inaagaw eh. Hindi naman ako papayag na kunin nila.

TV5: We will take the issue to court!

Cebu Pacific: We are saddened by this latest development.

What do you wanna tell He Jia?

Cong. Niel Tupas: I submit.

Erwin Tulfo: Saksakan ka ng sinungaling! Huwag na ‘wag kang pupunta ng Pilipinas dahil ‘pag nagpang-abot tayo sa NAIA, tatamaan at tatamaan ka sa akin pati na rin ang asawa mo!

Raffy Tulfo: Sinuwerte lang kayo dahil ang dami n’yo. Hijo de p*ta ka! Tumirik ka na ng kandila mula ngayon, idasal mong ‘wag mag-krus ang landas natin. Put*ng-i*a ka!

Ben Tulfo: Binabangga ko mga kriminal, mga mamamatay-tao, pero kung gusto mo, malaking warehouse na sarado, maga-antay ang mga ambulansya, last man standing, walang lalabas sa loob, magsasara tayo ng pinto, titingnan ko ang galing mo! Tandaan mo ‘to!

Miriam Quiambao: That’s a lie from the devil!

Raymart Santiago: ‘Yong pag-angkin n’yo sa ilang isla sa Spratlys, mapapalagpas ko ‘yon eh. Pero ‘yong iclaim n’yo na pati Pilipinas, pag-aari n’yo, hindi ko matatanggap ‘yon. Na-trauma nga ang mga anak ko nang marinig ‘yan eh.

Claudine Barreto: Kaya nga ilabas n’yo ang mapa. ‘Yong mapa! ‘Yan lang ang makakapagpatunay kung sino talaga ang nagsasabi ng totoo.

Kris Aquino: No comment na lang ako. Promise. Baka sabihin ni Ate Ballsy, “Krissy, nakikialam ka na naman!” So quiet na lang ako. ‘K.

In Other News
NEDA Director General Cayetano Paderanga Jr. reportedly resigned due to personal reasons… otherwise known as “fired.”

Suspended
After hurling threats and invectives on live television last week, TV 5 suspended the Tulfo brothers from appearing on their public affairs show. The program has since been reclassified from SPG to General Patronage.

War Mode?
Amid the Scarborough Shoal standoff, China has reportedly  shifted to ‘war mode’ and is prepared to deploy its military units. Not to be outdone, the Philippines is prepared to deploy the Tulfo brothers.

Alone Again?
Persistent rumors have it that President Aquino and Grace Lee have called it quits after four months of dating. People were shocked. They never expected them to last that long.

Best Time
According to a study, the best time to post or share a link on Facebook is between 1PM and 4PM on Wednesdays – while the best time to share a link on Friendster is never.

Photo of the Week
People are talking about the controversial cover of TIME magazine. A number of readers, including Filipinos were offended by the sight of an almost four-year-old boy sucking on his mom’s breast. The only thing more offensive was the sight of Claudine Barretto on top of Ramon Tulfo.

A survey showed 60 percent of women were offended by the TIME magazine cover… while 90 percent of men wish they were the boy.

I’m not sure if you’ll agree but that cover sucks.

Slogans
US President Obama has unveiled a new slogan: ‘Forward.’ President Aquino, meanwhile will not change his slogan: ‘Previous.’

Headline of the Week
Congratulations ABS-CBN News for sharing with us this exclusive, breaking story in the service of the Filipino people!

“Each of us deserves the freedom to pursue our own version of happiness. No one deserves to be bullied.”
~Barack Obama

Quotes Quiz: Who said…
“I did not ask his age, it did not matter to me. Besides, he looked young. I was really blinded with love. I also told him I will not continue this relationship without love.”
A: Zsa Zsa Padilla on Dolphy
B: Genelyn Magsaysay on Ramon Revilla Sr.
C: Flight attendant Rowena Lopez on Joseph Estrada
D: Loren Legarda on Tony Leviste

You Have Spoken
If you were from Manila, who would you probably vote for mayor next year?
-Joseph Estrada 12.55%
-Alfredo Lim 20.3%
-Thank goodness, I’m not from Manila! 67.16%

Have a productive week ahead!

I am on Twitter: @HecklerForever.

Answer to Quotes Quiz:
B: Genelyn Magsaysay on Ramon Revilla Sr.


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11 responses

13 05 2012
jason

panalo yung headline kay joshua. hula ko sisikat sya. :)

13 05 2012
Nonoy

Di kaya ang ABS-CBN ay in the service of the Aquinos? Just asking. Wala akong pakialam kung mag gain or loss ng weight ang Joshua na yan. Mabuti nga yung sobrang taba ang inalala nila, eh yung milyon milyong Filipino na nagugutom?

Sana, ibabalita rin ng ABS-CBN in the future na si Joshua na anak ng basurero ay nag-gain ng 28 pounds at maraming nang pagkain tulad ni Joshua na anak ni Kris Aquino! Amen!!!!

15 05 2012
etchosera

Grabeeeeee! Super touched talaga ako diyan sa sinabi mo!

Naiyak talaga ako….. pramis!

Ikaw lang po ang nakaisip nyan! It only goes to show na napakalalim nyo pong mag-isip,

I am so very proud of you!

13 05 2012
libertas

P-noy no longer getting his daily dose of kimchi, and clearly prefers a hotdog to cupcakes.

The big L has also lost his hair, hacienda luisita, fight against poverty, his economic manager, and the month isn’t halfway over yet!!

13 05 2012
libertas

Mother knows breast

“There are three reasons for breast-feeding:
the milk is always at the right temperature;
it comes in attractive containers; and the cat
can’t get it.”
Irena Chalmers

14 05 2012
senior60

salamat sa iyo mister heckler for sharing with us this exclusive abs-cbn news, hindi kasi ako nanunuod doon dahil ako ay kapuso hehehe

14 05 2012
hikatalomato

that’s what i called milf

14 05 2012
senior60

iyang sinabi ni obama ay gasgas na gasgas na at syang dahilan kung bakit dumadami na ang mga bakla, nagdudroga, criminal, nangbababae/nanglalalake, mga kurakot, mga walang ganang magtatrabaho etc. dahil doon sila masaya eh

14 05 2012
senior60

am surprised as to why people were offended with a four-year old sucking boy when in fact a mother’s milk is the best milk for them, on the contrary, i thought that the picture would have received positive reactions

19 05 2012
eddibumangon

depende talaga yan sa tumitingin nyor. para sa akin, i find it sexy and erotic.

21 05 2012
senior60

actually, actually talaga haha ang pinag-uusapan dito ay ang nutritious value ng milk at hindi ang kung ano pa man haha ulit

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