FLIPTOP BATTLE: IMPEACHMENT TRIAL EDITION

15 02 2012

IN OBSERVANCE of Valentine’s Day and in deference to Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile who marked his 88th birthday, Day 17 of the Corona Impeachment Trial was adjourned early. The live telecast of the trial was stopped. Unknown to the public though, some of the impeachment players opted to kill time in the session hall while waiting for their respective Valentine’s Day dinner. Some talked about the case. Others debated. The heated exchange led to a fliptop war between the two camps which got too personal. What transpired after the trial was caught on CCTV!

Match No. 1: Retired Justice Serafin Cuevas vs. Cong. Niel Tupas

Justice Cuevas:
Hindi ka naman shirt,’di ka naman pantalon
pero bakit tuwing trial, lagi kang nasasabon?
lahat ay kabado ‘pag tumatayo na si Tupas
‘di ka ba naiinsulto, mas impressed sila kay Fariñas!
Boom!

Cong. Niel Tupas
Mawalang-galang na ‘tanda, ‘di mo ba napansin
tanong ng senadora’y, nasasagot ko rin
good friends kami ni Rudy, ‘wag ka ngang makiangkas
masyado kang intrigero, pwede ka sa ‘The Buzz!’
Suuu-su-nod!

Justice Cuevas:
Ha-ha-ha
Bistado na brod ang inyong pagiging showbiz
ultimo “small lady” ginagawan n’yo ng tsismis
wasak na wasak ang istorya ni Rey Umali
‘di pwedeng isapelikula, iri-reject ni Mother Lily!
Boom!

Cong. Niel Tupas:
Sus!
Hindi naman isyu ang babaeng maliit
ang dapat n’yong sagutin: ‘Did CJ Corona cheat?’
wasak na istorya?!? eh ‘yong kwento n’yo ‘bout bribery
kahit yata gawing indie, ‘di papatulan ni Brillante!

Match No. 2: Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago vs. Cong. Niel Tupas

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago:
May duda akong ika’y lechon, mukha kang chicharon,
everytime I see you kasi, tumataas ang aking presyon
sumasabak kayo sa guerra, wala naman palang bala
pati fishing expedition sa Senado iniaasa!

Cong. Niel Tupas:
Laging ako, ako na lang, ang iyong nakikita
senator-judge ho ba kayo o kasapi ng depensa?
wala namang personalan, wala tayo sa Iloilo
masyado na ho kayong obvious, naloloka ako sa ‘yo!

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago:
‘Wag ka ngang istupido! Hindi ako namemersonal
galit lang ako sa tanga, hindi ka pa ba sanay?
Maiba ako…
‘musta naman ang mansion mo do’n sa Xavierville?
sa’n nga pala galing ‘yon? Katas ng pork barrel?
Joooke!

Cong. Niel Tupas:
Not funny!
Below the belt na po kayo Madam Senadora
tutukan na lang natin ang kaso ni Corona
and please, tigilan na ang pick-up lines n’yong corny
setenta’y sais na po kayo, ‘di na bagay maging horny!
Boom!

Match No. 3: Atty. Miro Quimbo vs. Atty. Tranquil Salvador

Atty. Miro Quimbo:
Kung walang ‘tinatago, ba’t panay ang objection?
niloloko n’yo ang tao, ginagalit buong nation
ang latest: may suhol daw si PNoy sa Senado?
naubusan na kayo ng bala, halatang desperado!
Boom!

Atty. Tranquil Salvador:
Ehem ehem ehem at sinong desperado?
Day 1 pa lang ng trial: evidence n’yo ay zero!
Ansabe ng prosekusyon? Sure sa conviction?
Bakit? Lahat ba ng senador ang last name ay ‘Drilon?’
Boom!

Atty. Miro Quimbo:
Ahh, shut the eff up. Ubod ka nang daldal bro!
pagsalitain mo naman si Karen Jimeno
manang-mana ka kasi sa papansin mong kliyente
may paiyak-iyak pa sa may balkonahe!

Atty. Tranquil Salvador:
Oo na! Ikaw na ang pogi at matinik
No wonder, love ka raw ng Globe Asiatique
Ooops! Sorry, did you find that offensive?
Btw, hello raw from the members of Pag-IBIG!
Boom!

Final Match: Prosecutor/Congressman Rey Umali vs. “Small Lady”

Cong. Rey Umali:
Sino bang lumapit? Bakit ako nasabit?
sa ‘kin hinahanap ang suspek na midget
‘di naman nagpakilala, kay bilis ng pangyayari
hindi ko siya masisi kung wala sa CCTV!

“Small Lady:”
Ulol!
Ako na nga ang ginamit, ako pa ngayon ang sinungaling?
bilib na ako sa ‘yong… “Maang-maangan School of Acting”
ang husay mo naman palang humabi ng istorya
bakit ‘di ka mag-submit ng entry sa Palanca?
Boom!

Cong. Rey Umali:
Tumahimik ka!
Ako ang may likha sa ‘yo
matuto kang gumalang
walang dapat makaalam,
na ika’y gawa-gawa lamang!

“Small Lady:”
Gawa-gawa na nga lang, minamaliit mo pa!
duda tuloy nila ako raw si Gloria
sana man lang, “pretty woman” o kaya “girl in magenta.”
palibhasa, sanay ka nang matawag na buwaya.

Cong. Rey Umali:
Ayoko na ng diskusyon
isa ka lang ilusyon!

“Small Lady:”
Ah gano’n?!
Pwes, maglabasan na tayo ng baho ngayon…
Mr. Presiding Officer… I have a manifestation.

Boom!
—————————————————————————————————————————-
“The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope.”
~John Buchan

Quote of the Day
“You are gathering evidence by requesting a subpoena from this honorable court. And I warn you that this is going to be fatal error on your part.”
~Presiding Officer Juan Ponce Enrile to the prosecution panel
Day 16, Corona Impeachment Trial

Enjoy the rest of the week.
A shout out to everyone at the UP Fair (Diliman & Manila) and the UPLB Feb Fair! Have fun!

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30 responses

15 02 2012
znarfznarfznarf

Gusto ko to! Lakas ng tawa ko dito…

15 02 2012
eedyah

Good thing we have Santiago, Cuevas and Enrile in this impeachment court. Lest, magmumukhang kahiya-hiya na talaga ang mga Pinoy sa global world!!!!

Pinapanood ng buong mundo, at papanuurin pa ng buong mundo sa susunod na henerasyon ang trial na ‘to.
Kaya mga porksecutors, h’wag kayong gago, sobra sobra na ang hiyang binibigay nyo sa natitirang matitino sa sambayanang Pilipino!!!!

15 02 2012
Jenga

Oh ph, you are so good at this. Funny but there’s a lot if truth in these exchange. Keep it coming!

16 02 2012
senior60

another masterpiece

16 02 2012
libertas

“The rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened.” – John F. Kennedy – ‘ and when the rule of law is replaced by political persecution’

16 02 2012
Rey Manalo

good. at least hindi maka CJ Corona ang banat. kakainis na kasi yung ibang comment. pinapaboran pa ang nililitis. parang walang alam na taong-bayan ang biktima ni CJ Corona. Kung walang anomalya sa mga bank account niya, huwag nang pigilan pagsasa-publiko ng laman ng bangko, para tapos ang kuwento, wala ng kaso!

16 02 2012
Lola Nila

Rey ikaw yan? Ano, nag-pray ka na ba bago mag-PH? :D ikaw ano ang naitulong mo sa lindol sa nag-negros? Inuna mo pa kasi ang Grace Lee kuno na iyan eh alam ng buong world na iba ang hanap mo at ndi pechay.

Ang team mo nagmumukhang tanga,,, :D puro kc kayo PSP kaya noong nasa congress at senado ka pa wala kang nagawang batas puro ka pa-pacute, eh ndi ka naman cute :D

Ikaw bakit lumubo din ang SALN mo from 19Million to 50Million?

16 02 2012
senior60

tanong ko lang sa sarili ko, na kung maari masagot
ninyo:

ang SALNs ba ay be all and it all sa paglilitis?

do you think there is any one individual in the government
service who religiously declared his all, in their SALNs?

16 02 2012
Joseph

Yup, it is the be all and end all of this impeachment trial. Following then Justice Corona’s computation for ill-gotten on the case of the Marcoses: (SALN – Properties and Wealth = Ill-Gotten Wealth). All government employees are expected to fill-up their SALN in the best detail as possible, in pain of the BIR hounding up on you or the Ombudsman. In the case of CJ Corona, more so must it be religiously and faithfully (him being a lawyer of all people) declared by people who hold positions of the HIGHEST public trust, eg impeachable officers because there is an underlying assumption of their moral fitness to hold these offices.

18 02 2012
senior60

sorry joseph but you failed to answer my two simple questions

therefore you got a failing grade……….but you did gave a great

explanation

16 02 2012
eddibumangon

kakainis ka kasing mag-comment. gusto mo ang akusado pa ang maglalabas ng evidence para idiin ang sarili niya. 40 years na yang batas na yan, wala sa magagaling na mambabatas ang umimik para alisin o amyendahan ang batas, ngayon ngangal kayo ng 2x. sayang surname mo ‘toy, talunan kang mag-isip.

16 02 2012
libertas

drilon – always using ” we..” all pretence of impartiality now gone, and wanting to be presiding officer as well!

estrada – a lot of talk, but in the end wrote a dud check. maybe.

umali – ” the law is an ass – an idiot” (charles dickens) – ‘because of people like you’

cuevas – still classy and clever

lapid – back in hibernation

tupas – a cocktail of incompetence, inexperience, and a large dash of irritation

17 02 2012
senior60

of all the queer birds, i like cuevas the most…

hahaha nasupalpal siya ni santiago kahapon,
kung wala pa sana si santiago, lusot si cuevas,
though alam nya na may mga exceptions to the
rules, try lang nya, baka makalusot, sa bisaya pa,
pilay palad or how many palms in english hehe

16 02 2012
William

hahaha nice. thanks bro

16 02 2012
libertas

VP binay – ? the future ex vice-president if corona acquitted.

binay as quiet in his support of p-noy as kris aquino is in her support of grace lee.

16 02 2012
senior60

galing mo talaga mister heckler, nakahanap ka na naman
ng appropriate quote fitted to the prosecutors…

ikaw na talaga mister heckler at wala ng iba pa…

16 02 2012
qing dynasty

nice! cuevas in hip hop … talo si boy pick-up nyan! :)

16 02 2012
Anonymous

set aside politics…. the common people and the poor are at stake….let us be true to ourselves….hehehehe… ibigay nalang kaya yong mga perang yan sa government funds at ibayad sa utang ng pilipinas….let justice and truth prevails….

16 02 2012
cecil

Has anybody noticed the bags of Loren Legarda. She is has a collection of Bottega Veneta bags, and their prices in dollars!

17 02 2012
libertas

banalgate
a tall story of a small lady, a big conspiracy, little decency, and no integrity.

what next -
neil tupas is slipped a package by a transgender whilst bending over to tie his shoelaces

presidential bed warmer grace lee calls the youth to the streets in her programme ‘ good times, gay times’

17 02 2012
eddibumangon

I’m not sure if Banal is “small”, but he’s definitely not a lady. How come Umali mistook him for one?

17 02 2012
conquestor

……..some of the women lawyers look pretty sa impeachement….yung lawyer ni tiongson sa PSbank na young laddy….pretty

17 02 2012
conquestor

…lady pa la….ano nga name nya…

17 02 2012
libertas

the impeachment trial

It ain’t about opportunity
It ain’t about integrity

It ain’t about the law
It ain’t about the poor

It ain’t about democracy
It ain’t about decency

So what’s it all for
Not you, thats for sure

It’s about autocracy
It’s about hypocricy

It’s about a political game
It’s about power & fame

It’s about greedy oligarchs
It’s about corrupt sharks

It’s about the money
and the hacienda, honey

18 02 2012
Anonymous

super like this

17 02 2012
Joey Hizon

someday… everything that happened in the impeachment trial will make perfect sense… so, for now, let’s laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding ourselves that everything happens for a reason, that only GOD knows..

18 02 2012
piya

husay ph, kaw na!
kaw lang
ang makakagawa ng ganito kahusay na masterpiece talaga.
nabasa mo ba yung pagmumuryot ni budoy sa dbp? budoy talaga
up fair is still the fairest. sayang inuulan
yoko na magcomment nagbabasa na pla si budoy-penoy nito eh, ginamit pang kamaganak ang lider ng inc.

18 02 2012
senior60

mister heckler may sagot ako para kay joseph kaninang
madaling araw, nasaan na

22 02 2012
Infinite Justice

again i tell you senior60, get a life..this is a blog site not anything else..

4 08 2012
Anonymous

ang ganda……………….haha

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