OBJECTION!

23 01 2012

Quote of the Week:
“I would like to take this opportunity to correct the misimpression being peddled by a certain Professional Heckler. Ang suot ko noong opening ng Impeachment trial ay hindi galing sa alinmang branch ng SM. ‘Yan ay isang kasinungalingan. At kung kailangan kong ipa-subpoena sa witness stand si Manay Gina de Venecia at ang iba pang miyembro ng Association of Lady Legislators upang
patunayan ito ay gagawin ko.
~Akbayan Party-list Rep. Arlene Bag-ao of Akbayan,
Member, Impeachment Prosecution Panel

PLEASE ALL RISE. Senate President Kris Aquino Presiding.

Day 2, Moment No. 1:
Presiding Officer Kris Aquino: The impeachment trial of Chief Justice Renato C. Corona is hereby called to order. But before we proceed to the presentation of evidence, I’d like to take this opportunity na magpasalamat sa family court ng Makati City. Kay Judge, love love love na talaga kita. Ayaw ko po munang magbigay na detalye kasi magagalit na naman sina Ate Ballsy at Ate Pinky. Pero thank you so much talaga Judge. Ipagpi-pray kita sa Manaoag next week. Promise. ‘Yon lang. Aha-ha-ha! Okay, let’s proceed. Tito Sen?

Majority Leader Tito Sotto: We are in receipt of a request filed by the prosecution for the issuance of subpoena duces tecum and subpoena ad testifacandum to Chief Justice Renato Corona, his wife, children, son-in-law, yaya, gardener, driver, cook, laundrywoman, electrician, plumber, cable guy, internet service provider, favorite vendor, and neighbors in relation to the instant impeachment proceedings.

PO Kris Aquino: Gosh, ang dami lang. Ok, denied! Aha-ha-ha!

Cong. Niel Tupas: The prosecution submits to the ruling of the Senate President.

PO Kris Aquino: Talaga? I love youuuuuu!

Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano: Madam Presiding Officer…

PO Kris Aquino: The gentleman from Taguig…

Senator Cayetano: I agree with the ruling in so far as the Chief Justice is concerned. But with the wife, children, son-in-law, yaya, gardener, driver, cook, laundrywoman, electrician, plumber, cable guy, internet service provider, favorite vendor, and neighbors I’d like to express my reservations.

PO Kris Aquino: So you’re opposing my ruling, gano’n?
Senator Cayetano: Can we put this into a vote?

PO Kris Aquino: My God, I hate you. Pinapahiya mo ‘ko. Live pa naman tayo! Feeling ko tuloy nasa Day 2 pa lang tayo, grandstanding ka na. Okay fine! Eh ‘di vote.

Majority Leader Tito Sotto: Those who are in favor of the ruling of Madam Chair raise your hands… 1, 2, 3… 14! Those who are not in favor, please raise your hands! 1,2,3, 4, 5, 6. Fourteen-six for the ruling of the presiding officer.

PO Kris Aquino: 14-6? Yeyyyyy! Sorry Alan, I won. Aha-ha-ha Pero wait lang. Kayong labing-apat, lalo ka na Tito Frank, humanda kayo kay Noy! Unless bumawi ka sa Day 3, which I am sure you will… knowing you. Aha-ha-ha. In fairness, kasama sa six ang Nacionalista boys. Ano kayang nakain? Aha-ha-ha. One minute suspension. Tawagan ko lang si Deo for my taping sked.

Trial Suspended.

Day 2, Moment No. 2:
Presiding Officer Kris Aquino: May we start with the presentation of evidence? It’s getting late na. Oily na ‘ko. Please.
Cong. Elpidio Barzaga: Madam Chair…

PO Kris Aquino: Guard, ‘yong driver naligaw sa floor. Paki-guide palabas please.
Cong. Elpidio Barzaga: Madam Chair… I am part of the prosecution.
PO Kris Aquino: Oh gosh. Sorrrrrry! I’m so mean. Sorry po talaga. I honestly thought you were… never mind. Please proceed.

Congressman Barzaga: The prosecution, Your Honor, is reydi to present its evidence and as provided for in the complaint, we shall start presenting evidence in so far…
PO Kris Aquino: Wait lang Mr. Congressman! Matagal ka na bang walang buhok? Is that alopecia?
(Crowd laughs)

PO Kris Aquino: O, bakit kayo tumatawa? Hellooooo. Alangan namang itanong ko, ‘bakit makapal ang buhok’ mo. Kaloka kayo!
Congressman Barzaga: Since early 2000 Your Honor.

PO Kris Aquino: See? Honest siya! I’m starting to like you na. May personality ka, promise! Try mo kaya ‘yong shampoo na bigay ko kay Noy last year. Nabili ko sa States. I’ll give you the brand name later after ng session. Effective siya as in. Wait, sorry, I didn’t quite get your name…

Congressman Barzaga: Elpidio Barazaga Jr, Madam Chair, representing the City of Dasmariñas.
PO Kris Aquino: Owwws? Alam ba nilang nire-represent mo sila?

Congressman Barzaga: Madam Chair?
PO Kris Aquino: Joke lang. Aha-ha-ha. Gusto mong lumabas sa sequel ng ‘Segunda Mano?’

Congressman Barzaga: I beg your pardon…
PO Kris Aquino: Wala! Aha-ha-ha. Let’s proceed. As you were saying…

Congressman Barzaga: Your Honor, we shall start presenting evidence in so far as Article 2 is concerned.

PO Kris Aquino: Article 2? Why? Bakit nabago ang sequence?

Congressman Barzaga: Your Honor, it is a basic truism, in so far as the practice of law is concerned that a party presenting evidence has the power to determine what would be the order of presentation of evidence.

PO Kris Aquino: Hay naku! Nakakatatlong “in so far as” ka na, pansin ko lang. Walang ibang phrase? Aha-ha-ha. ‘Tsaka tigilan mo ko ng truism truism na ‘yan. Umamin ka Congressman, hindi kayo ready ‘no? Careful ka sa answer mo, nakatutok si Noy ngayon. Alam mo na!

Congressman Barzaga: Your Honor, marami na kasing lumabas na reports tungkol sa SALN ng Chief Justice. He even said that he’s willing to donate some of his properties na mapapatunayang kanya.

PO Kris Aquino: You didn’t answer my question… promise. I’m getting disappointed with you na guys.

Congressman Barzaga: Madam Chair, can we just postpone the trial for tomorrow?

PO Kris Aquino: ‘Yun na! I swear, Noy is incensed right now. My God! You’re embarrassing my brother. I hate you! (Message alert tone)

PO Kris Aquino: O ‘yan! Trending ka na raw on Twitter Philippines! I’m sure, they’re mocking you na. Nakakahiyaaa!

Congressman Barzaga: Madam Chair, we just want to give the defense an opportunity to prepare for Article 2.

PO Kris Aquino: You’re making palusot naman ngayon! Ewan ko sa inyo! Lagi n’yo namang ka-meeting si Noy, tapos ganito? Hayyyyy! Mag-usap-usap kayo pwede? Try to regroup! You talaga! One minute suspension nga! When we return, we shall rule on a motion filed by another member of the prosecution.

Trial Suspended.

Day 2, Moment No. 3.
Presiding Officer Kris Aquino: I believe there’s a pending motion filed by the prosecution…

Majority Leader Tito Sotto: As a matter of fact Madam Chair, there is. We received a complaint from public prosecutor Arlene Bag-ao of Akbayan. Apparently Your Honor, somebody else, pretending to be the honorable Congresswoman made an appearance on Day 1 of the impeachment trial. Sa katunayan, nakausap n’yo pa siya sa floor.

PO Kris Aquino: Oh my God. May impostor na nakapasok sa impeachment court?

Cong. Niel Tupas: As far as the prosecution panel is concerned, yes Your Honor. As the Majority Floor Leader mentioned, the impostor probably changed his appearance and assumed the form of Congresswoman Bag-ao during the first day of this trial.

PO Kris Aquino: Nakakaloka! May evidence ba ang prosecution?


Cong. Niel Tupas: Exhibit A, Your Honor: ang kontrobersyal na terno! Kung inyong matatandaan, ang sabi ng impostor, nabili lang sa SM ang terno. Ito ay mariing pinabubulaanan ni Congresswoman Bag-ao. Hindi raw nagmula sa alinmang branch ng SM ang naturang kasuotan. Hindi sa Megamall! Hindi sa SM North! Hindi sa SM Centerpoint! At lalong hindi sa mala-palengkeng SM Mall of Asia!

PO Kris Aquino: Wait lang. So dini-deny ni Congresswoman Bag-ao na nabili niya sa SM ang terno? Sandali. Hindi ko ‘to kinakaya. Kailangan talagang ideny? Isyu ba ‘to? Relevant?

Cong. Niel Tupas: Yes, Your Honor. Kongresista nga naman siya. How dare this impostor claim na nabili lang ang terno sa pang-masang mall? The allegation was absurd, preposterous, baseless, and if I may personally add, defamatory.

PO Kris Aquino: Wait, where did she buy that ba? Landmark?

Congressman Barzaga: Objection! Relevance?!?

PO Kris Aquino: Aha-ha-ha! Mag-object talaga sa ‘kin? Presiding officer ako Mr. Congressman. I can ask clarificatory questions!

Justice Serafin Cuevas: Madam Chair, may I? Point of order.

PO Kris Aquino: Nyeeeeh! Buhay pa pala kayo Justice Cuevas! Next time nga, ‘wag namang biglaan ang pagpaparamdam n’yo! Nakakagulat lang. Promise. What’s your point of order?

Justice Cuevas: The prosecution is apparently delaying this trial. What’s the point of the manifestation?

PO Kris Aquino: True! In fairness, kahit ako naguguluhan. Mr. Prosecutor…

Cong. Niel Tupas: Ang gusto lang namin, higpitan ang seguridad sa impeachment court upang hindi na maulit ang nangyari sa Day 1. Mahirap nang mabiktima ulit ng impostor. Please lang. Nakakasira ng reputasyon.

PO Kris Aquino: The chair hereby orders the Senate Sergeant-At-Arms to impose a stricter screening of visitors. Likewise, from this day on, lahat ng papasok sa Senado ay tatanungin: “Who are you wearing?” Isulat ito sa logbook para may reference ang media. Bongga ‘di ba? At least, maiiwasan natin ang paglabas ng maling info.

Cong. Niel Tupas: Thank you Your Honor.

PO Kris Aquino: No, this impeachment court should thank the prosecution panel. Your terno-driven manifestation was brilliant, promise. I’m sure matutuwa si Noy. So, thank you. And with that, trial adjourned!

Congressman Barzaga: Your Honor…
PO Kris Aquino: Yes, Congressman Barzaga…
Congressman Barzaga: Are you single?
PO Kris Aquino: Objection! Relevance? Aha-ha-ha!
———————————————————————————————————
“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.”
~Henry Ward Beecher

Quote of the Day
“It took me 44 years to find you. I have found you Shalani. I have found happiness. I will love you forever.”
~Pasig City Rep. Roman Romulo to Valenzuela City Councilor Shalani Soledad

Stay safe people.

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41 responses

24 01 2012
rojan88

wahahaa aabangan ko kung sinong pulitiko naman ang magrereact. wahahaha. ang laking issue ng pinatulan. wahahahaa.

the best ka talaga idol, halimaw ang utak mo. hahaha

—————————————————————————————
http://rojan88.wordpress.com

24 01 2012
jay pe (@jaype_007)

MAS NATAWA NAMAN AKO SA QUOTE OF THE WEEK…

26 01 2012
Anonymous

The impeachment trial could and would have proceeded (and can and will proceed) smoothly if not for the biased intervention of Senator-Judges(?) Drilon, Peter Cayetano and Francis Pangilinan. What was objected by the defense are the contents of the complaint or the articles of impeachment. The aforementioned judges were doing their own (wrong) interpretation of the rules of impeachment (court). It was ruled that the evidences should have been contained in the complaint beforehand; and the Honorable Chief Justice should be tried on his acts as Chief Justice, not the acts before such appointment, as pointed out by Sen. Escudero. With all due respect, the acts of the Chief Justice before his appointment should not be included in this trial since he is tried for impeachment as Chief Justice. Besides, these allegations are not contained in the complaint. These interventions are tainted with bias. The prosecution has gotten a lot of help from the Senator-Judges themselves, which makes this trial all about POLITICS and not based on fair rules.

24 01 2012
markpere2010

Idol, natawa naman ako sa opening text mo dito. So, I checked BlogWatch. Hahaha. Sa iyo ko lang nalaman na “Arlene” pala ang first name nya. Hehe.

Ano naman po ang masasabi nyo sa “split” ni Rep. Edcel Lagman at ni dating Pangulong Arroyo? :)

http://rightonthemark.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/was-edcel-lagman-junked-for-supporting-the-aquino-backed-rh-bill/

24 01 2012
senior60

may nabasa ako somewhere na may kasunduan na

sina lagman at suarez na pagdating ng panahon,

si suarez naman, something like that

24 01 2012
libertas

Over-ruled!

If fashion is a personal signature, then yours is illegible.

When they said the 80’s were back in fashion, they meant the 1980’s, not the 1880’s

I wouldnt say you are a fashion victim, just ensemblelly challenged.

” a dress you can buy, chic you cannot”
Coco chanel

Kris aquino’s favourite chinese rip-offs – guttchi, praba, blueberry, lacostatoomuch. Now that is class money can buy – 3 for 200 pesos, (or a counterfeit of the counterfeit masquerading as an original at all SM concrete piazzas – only 4000 pesos – the additional cost of cutting down trees and destroying the environment has resulted in the need for excessive profit margins)

26 01 2012
maynilaresidence

:)

24 01 2012
senior60

isa lang ibig sabihin sa pag cocorrect ni bag-ao sa

pang heheckle mo mister heckler, binabasa ka na,

ikaw na

24 01 2012
libertas

Congratulations to shalani and roman.
Looked radiant and resplendent. Dress not from SM.

as all 700 guests feasted and celebrated, p-noy enjoyed a dinner for one special from jollibee and re-read napoleon bonapartes speeches. Napoleon was 5′ 6″, dictatorial, and had a complex.
Some of his quotes

” i have tasted command, and i cannot give it up”- (or the marlboro)

“If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing”

“religion is what stops the poor man from murdering the rich, and keeps common people quiet”

“in politics, never retreat, never retract, and never admit a mistake”

“in politics, stupidity is not a handicap”

Next week kris aquino is going to match p-noy with loren legarda – “we need her vote too”

24 01 2012
Lola Nila

Quote of the Day
“It took me 44 years to find you. I have found you Shalani. I have found happiness. I will love you forever.”
~Pasig City Rep. Roman Romulo to Valenzuela City Councilor Shalani Soledad

====
another echoserang palaka !!!
**************************************************

bkit ganun sa kasal ni Shalani wa si Pnoy dhil ang rason naging ex daw nya ito, pero sa kasal ni Mar dumalo si Pnoy. Bakit nga ba??

24 01 2012
senior60

sa tingin ko nila, sa akin lang ha, ewan ko sa sa iyo,

may kaunti pang natitirang feelings si noynoy kay

shalani kaysa kay korina, ganuon

24 01 2012
Lola Nila

sir senior60 ang sabi ko kay Mar ndi Koring :D

26 01 2012
senior60

ngeeekkkk

24 01 2012
Anonymous

Tawag dyan delicadeza. Kung pumunta siya eh di don mafo-focus ang mga balita sa halip na doon sa bride and groom – nakaw-eksena pa. Kawawa naman yung ikakasal kung magkakaroon pa ng tension dahil lang sa bisita nila eh special day nila yon.

26 01 2012
senior60

may double standard? bakit kay mar pumunta, bakit nga ba?

24 01 2012
Lola Nila

Ito naman si Congresswoman Bago-ong, aww Bag-ao akala mo ang ganda ng outfit sa trial day 1 ng impeachment. Pasalamat ka at napagkamalan pa na binili mo yan sa SM.

sa true lang para kang bibinyagan sa kumpil sa damit na yan, at tahi lang yata yan ni Aling Conching dyan sa Kanlaon St., Mandaluyong (yes, katabi sa bahay ni ex-mayor abalos) :D

24 01 2012
sadakups

QotW = FTW

Looks like someone’s taking cues from a certain “nephew” if you know what I mean.

25 01 2012
jphilipg

yeah, like kulang na lang is “i shoul know because my nephew is the salesguy from whom i bought my terno.”

24 01 2012
moonchild117

seriously, nag-react si rep. bag-ao about what you said in your previous post? whoa, i don’t think she knows what your blog is all about na she has to “correct that misimpression.” hellooo! :P

and for that, 1 point for PH! :D

25 01 2012
etchosera

Aylaykyu anak!

Ang cute cute mo talaga!

24 01 2012
onat725

cong bag ao commented on ph’s heckling, hehehe, one pogi point more to mr. ph at least congressmen read his blog. but what’s wrong if the dress she wore came from sm, she must be proud of it cause she could set an example of a people in power living a simple life. the nerve. it only shows two things, mababaw si congresswoman at pinapatulan ang heckling ni ph or sikat na talaga si ph. more for her mr. ph…

by the way, sana masabihan ang mga cameramen ng network stations na pag si cong brazaga na ang kukunan dapat maganda ang angle na di nakakasilaw ang ulo, nakakadistract kasi.

24 01 2012
Lola Nila

so ang ibig mo mangyari sa tuhod o paa na lang cong. brazaga ang kukunan, ganun?

25 01 2012
etchosera

Ayyyy! ikaw din onat, aylaykyu na din!

2 02 2012
eddibumangon

hehehe,da nefew strikes again :-)

24 01 2012
senior60

is kris single? yes na, noong isang araw pa

is kris destined to becoming the president of the philippines?
yes, ayon sa hula and surely, it will be, more fun in the philippines

pa borrow mister heckler ha….Aha-ha-ha

24 01 2012
libertas

Order, order, here comes da judge – kris aquino

” it ain’t the meat, it’s the motion that counts, and the motion is the naked truth – no dressing up, everything on display, unadulterated and raw, no dirty talk, disrespect will not be tolerated, and punished – hard! And remember what napoleon said “Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action comes, stop thinking and go on in.” ….oops sorry, reading the note to my houseboy by mistake!”

There goes da judge

24 01 2012
Anonymous

Aha-ha-ha, ikaw na, hindi ko pa rin napapanood ang Segunda Mano mo.

24 01 2012
Anonymous

Aha-ha-ha, hindi ko pa rin napapanood ang Segunda Mano mo. Aha-ha-ha.

24 01 2012
THE REAL JIDZTERS

promise ansakit ng tiyan ko kakatawa ha ha ha!!

ma-post at ma-forward nga sa lahat ha ha

I love you TPH!

panalo ito:
The chair hereby orders the Senate Sergeant-At-Arms to impose a stricter screening of visitors. Likewise, from this day on, lahat ng papasok sa Senado ay tatanungin: “Who are you wearing?” Isulat ito sa logbook para may reference ang media. Bongga ‘di ba? At least, maiiwasan natin ang paglabas ng maling info.

who are you wearing??? LMAO!

thanks uli.

24 01 2012
jose

can’t wait for Sen Santiago’s involvement! haha

24 01 2012
Nadya Ruiz

binasa ko yung speech ni Rep. Arlene, i thick she was just joking when she mentioned PH’s note on her terno. Kasi it was part of her opening spiel.

Kudos PH, i think they are also following your impeachment updates here ^_^

24 01 2012
youseffmikhael

ano ba to si bag-ao, blog ni heckler pinatulan!

24 01 2012
taklesa_o_prangka

in fairness naman sa SM, hindi nga parang galing sa kanila yung suot ni bag-ao. ang cheap-cheap kaya tingnan! ahahahaha

24 01 2012
jasonon

paneh si kris aquino. hahahahaa

24 01 2012
Lambornos.

To Cng. Arlene – “A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.”
~Henry Ward Beecher … kaya huwag pikon.
By the way, tama si Congresswoman, recently SM Management nagbigay ng statement, denying that they have that Terno in their invertory (all branches), in fairness maybe try some “ukay-ukay outlets” ….

When P-Noys turn comes, ” It took me Half a Century to find you……. By the way Kris shampoo is not working anymore, pasenysa kana honey….”

24 01 2012
Anonymous

Your blogs are always funny especially when Kris Aquino is involved. Just to correct perhaps the perception that Cong. Kaka reacted to your post negatively. She actually found it funny. That is why in her speech before her Akbayan gathering, she also satirized your satire. Hope the readers of your blog will not get “mad” at her. Hahaha. Regards.

25 01 2012
Nadya Ruiz

that’s what i thought also. =)

24 01 2012
libertas

The Honorable Senator Lapid today signed a contract with abs-cbn for a teleserye, and maybe a film after the impeachment trial/vote, if he is a very good boy!! Wow those abs-cbn lawyers sure are busy.

Kris aquino was heard singing ” and another one bites the dust”

“It’s not titles that honor men, it’s men that honor or dishonor titles”
Machiavelli

25 01 2012
Khym D (@KhymaLey)

Quote of the Week:
“I would like to take this opportunity to correct the misimpression being peddled by a certain Professional Heckler. Ang suot ko noong opening ng Impeachment trial ay hindi galing sa alinmang branch ng SM. ‘Yan ay isang kasinungalingan. At kung kailangan kong ipa-subpoena sa witness stand si Manay Gina de Venecia at ang iba pang miyembro ng Association of Lady Legislators upang
patunayan ito ay gagawin ko.

~Akbayan Party-list Rep. Arlene Bag-ao of Akbayan,
Member, Impeachment Prosecution Panel

– – – – –

OH EM GEEH!! WTH! she really reacted to that! my goodness she’s really paranoid is she! She needs to get a life aside from this trial! geez! Para nga naman siang pupunta ng party at hindi korte noh! I hate fake fashionista… grrr !!!

25 01 2012
Nadya Ruiz

she was just joking… =) you should have read the speech, dear.

25 01 2012
OBJECTION! « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[...] More here: OBJECTION! « The Professional Heckler [...]

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