HERE LIES

23 10 2011


IN OBSERVANCE of All Saints Day and All Souls Day 2011, here’s the updated version of my original post titled “Predicted Epitaphs of Political and Entertainment Figures in the Philippines.”

President Aquino: “Ibalato n’yo na lang sa akin ang katiting na privacy kong ito!”

Vice President Jejomar Binay: “Nasa tahimik na lugar. Sana ganito rin sa inyo.”

DOTC Sec. Mar Roxas: “Ramdam ko kayo!”

Cong. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo: “Kagagawan ito ng administrasyong Aquino.”

Atty. Mike Arroyo: “Watch list? What watch list? Goodbye!”

Joseph Estrada: “That’s all Polk!”

Cong. Manny Pacquiao: “He had gone to the world and multiplied. Mission accomplished. You know.”

Jinkee Pacquiao: “Ako, Legal Wife.”

Batangas Gov. Vilma Santos: “MALIGAYANG PAGDATING SA AKING PUNTOD: VILMAWOOD!”

Chief Justice Renato Corona: “Petition to extend life has been denied with finality. So ordered.”

Kris Aquino: “And then there was silence.”

Sen. Tito Sotto: “Give me liberty or give me death… certificate.”

Manny V. Pangilinan: “He just lost… one big fight.”

Boy Abunda: “And this is the bottomline!”

Sharon Cuneta: “Looking forward to losing weight.”

Charo Santos: “Maalaala Mo Sana”

Shalani Soledad: “No comment po.”

German Moreno: “Sa wakas, nakatulog rin.”

Cong. Winnie Castelo: “RIP: Winnie Castelo Proponent of the Anti-Death Bill in Congress”

Christopher Lao: “Here lies Chris Lao. For your information.”

Political Adviser Ronald Llamas: “Gun too soon.”
—————————————————————————————————-
“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”
~George Carlin

Donaire Wins
Congratulations to Nonito Donaire! He outclassed Argentine pug Omar Narvaez in a 12-round bout. I mean, sparring session. Boo!

Fans and boxing analysts described the Donaire-Narvaez fight as boring. It would have been a lot more exciting if Donaire fought against Annabelle Rama.

Quote of the Week
“Suwerte ko I’m the original, not the other woman. I love my husband very much. I trust him, because he promised he will not get involved with anyone anymore, after Krista. I will deal with him after the fight.”
~Jinkee Pacquiao (as quoted by Philboxing.com) reacting to rumors that Cong. Manny Pacquiao fathered a child with a culinary student

Have a great week ahead!

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41 responses

23 10 2011
etchosera

Bwahahahaha!

Sa wakas, nakatulog din si Koya Girms!

Juicemio! Walang…, gisingannnnn! Ipagpatuloy na lang ang pagtulog!

23 10 2011
danny

…Juan Ponce Enrile – “At last I’m dead, Yeheey!”

…President Noynoy – “Dead Hair”

…Manny Pacquiao – “Am Did, You know”

23 10 2011
HERE LIES « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[...] More here: HERE LIES « The Professional Heckler [...]

23 10 2011
HERE LIES « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[...] Go here to see the original: HERE LIES « The Professional Heckler [...]

23 10 2011
libertas

Congratulations to donaire – another VP/President in the making.

Looking forward to the next big fight
The Hermes ho’ vs The Dior doormat.
Handbags and insults at the ready.
All proceeds to the pro-RH campaign to prevent illegitimate births.

23 10 2011
bimbiya

i just your quotes
swahk na swahk!
ay bakit wala si dilema? mahilig din luminya yun
part 2? :P

23 10 2011
bimbiya

hindi nagregister yung love,
i just love your quotes!
sobrang swak

23 10 2011
libertas

Vicky belo
‘ she did not frown in the face of death’

This epitaph is sponsored by belo botox – ‘laugh at life -permanently!’

‘ here Arroyo lies. In death, as in life!’

23 10 2011
thepiaya

Kris Aquino: “And then there was silence.” LOL!

23 10 2011
brianitus

My favorite: “Cong. Winnie Castelo: “RIP: Winnie Castelo Proponent of the Anti-Death Bill in Congress”

LOL

24 10 2011
Anonymous

kaya boring ang donaire-narvaez fight ay sa

kadahilanan na, walang patutsadahan/asaran/

pataasan ng ihi before the fight kaya hindi gigil

na gigil ang isa’t-isa…

25 10 2011
etchosera

okey po.

24 10 2011
senior60

kaya boring ang donaire-narvaez fight ay sa kadahilanan

na walang asaran/patutsadahan/pataasan ng ihi before

the bout kaya hindi gigil na gigil ang isa’t-isa…

25 10 2011
etchosera

aba! Okey na nga… inulit pa?

25 10 2011
senior60

hahaha kasi akala ko hindi na register ang first one

24 10 2011
barbiegel

idol, curious lang, ‘pag yung sa ‘yo naman, ano nakalagay? hehe, joke lang po!

24 10 2011
GhostEmployee

Congress Woman Arroyo : She can never cheat death.. “I am sorry”!

24 10 2011
Anonymous

Jinkee: Here lies her mess

24 10 2011
libertas

Euphemisms in the jinkee/kat PR spin

PR spin – lying for money

Culinary arts student – works at mcdonalds
( what is the difference between kat and mcdonalds? – she serves more customers)

Guest relations officer – hooker

Congressman – liar and cheat

I’m the original – old and past it

I will deal with him after the fight – another handbag and new car. Sex ban doesnt apply. Now i know why

I trust him – i am stupid

Legal wife – i have my name on the bank account and the houses

I love him – i am also greedy, and maybe not that stupid

I support him – show me the money

Godfather – damn, i should have used a condom, and will now never get membership of the polo club.

Boyfriend in dubai – need a better PR company

Meeting paris hilton – try to show class! Jersey shore cast would be more appropriate

24 10 2011
manny

bat ba takot pnoy,milf?,samantalang sobrang tapang sa china,may plano pa ngang gawin souviner item ang 25 na small boat ng china

25 10 2011
hikatalomato

sa lahat ng tribu sa failipinas, ang ilonggo lang po ang di takot sa mga moklo. sila lang kasi ang:

kumakain ng anay
“kaon ta anay!”

kumain ng tae
“kaon ta e!”

at ang pinakamalupit sa lahat……. kumakain ng bala
“kaon ta bala!”

and their battle cry goes like this:

ilonggo strong
kaon bagoong
tulog sa gab-i
otot kabagrong

25 10 2011
senior60

hahaha ulit…

ano meaning ‘kabagrong’

25 10 2011
etchosera

Hulat anay kay ga-claff man aketch!

Claff claff claff!

Aylaykette!

25 10 2011
barok94

bwahahaha! pwede pa repost nito ^^

25 10 2011
checkmate

nakakalungkot man isipin pero kung mismong sa mga mamamayan ng Pilipinas mo maririnig/mababasa ang mga salitang ganyan, parang di na kailangan ng Pilipinas ng kaaway…

pabiro man o hindi, para po yatang nasosobrahan na kayo sa ED…

wag nyo po sanang masamain…

26 10 2011
senior60

checkmate, ano meaning ED

26 10 2011
hikatalomato

i mean “gabagrong” not “kabagrong” sorry for the taypu.

27 10 2011
senior60

ay hindi ko rin alam gabagrong, ano meaning hikata…

ay teka lang muna, mabantot pala dahil otot…

bakit kaya hindi ko kaagad naisip yun ano? ikaw

etchos, alam mo?

26 10 2011
hikatalomato

ñor, ED is where you find the most reliable and most accurate no bullshit information about things around you.

27 10 2011
senior60

saan yun hikata, pagpasensyahan, mahina
talaga kalaban..

psssst hikata paki whisper lang at marinig tayo
ni libertas at paul, mahalata ako hahaha hindi
bale na kung si etchos lang dahil cowboy este
cowgirl pala yon…

25 10 2011
kalokah

is the kid’s name really “king arthur”?

25 10 2011
Anonymous

http://www.athensreport.com/2011/10/lara-bohinc-refused-to-send-kate-moss-a-freebie/#.TqXGaNw5hVk.twitter

sori prof, makiki-take advantage po sa blog mo with your multitudes of followers, to “propagate” my hate (sic) to this shameful woman who once again had made a disgusting comment regarding our identity…

25 10 2011
etchosera

Susmarroxas! Pwede ba, wag papatulan ang mga ganyang issues?

do you really think she cares of what you think of her?

Remember this: she doesn’t deserve the attention you’re giving her. Pag pinatulan mo yan, lalo lang maha-highlight ang issue, sisikat pa ang fotang yan.

We all have our right to self expression, and so does she. As long as alam mo kung ano ka at ang pagkapinoy mo, issues like these does not really matter..

Juicemio! Kung tayo tayo ngang mga pinoys eh nagbabangayan din? At marami din sa atin ang akala mo eh perpekto na at over makapanghusga sa kapwa at sa ibang lahi din.

Stop the hatred. Ano naman ang mahihita mo sa ganyan?

Just spread the love!

26 10 2011
senior60

uuyyy serious mo ngayon etchos, machongmacho
ang dating..

nahawa ka yata kay noynoy sa kanyang, ‘no to all out war’
‘yes to all out justice’

sa iyo naman, no to all out hatred, yes to all out love

so, ano na ngayon, bahala na si batman kung ano ang
gusto nilang ibato sa atin, sasaluhin na lang natin ng
walang imik, ganuon…

25 10 2011
Paul

What is wrong with being a maid? Like any profession, it is honest and honorable. I have read a number of articles referring to the nationality of the maid as French, Spanish or Latin and I do not see the description derogatory. Why should it be in this case?

26 10 2011
senior60

foremost, what does that woman bitch dislikes,
the maid being a filipina or the filipina being a maid….

whichever and whatever, the issue here is not being
a filipina maid but how it was delivered, with sarcasm
i bet, sarap sapakin sa mukha…

is she even sure that the filipina maid will wear it?
hindi no, siempre mahiya din yon, hindi bagay sa kanya,
baka sabihin pa noon sa woman bitch na, isaksak mo
yan sa baga mo…

libertas, i suggest you get an interpreter because there
are just words that can be best appreciated if written in
tagalog like, isaksak sa baga, that’s not, stab the lung ha,
this early i’m telling you because your interpreter might
interprete it that way hahaha ano ba…

26 10 2011
libertas

oversensitive and over-reaction, me thinks.
an old joke to calm you down

Heaven in Europe is a place where the
British are the policemen, the French are
the cooks, the Germans are the engineers,
the Italians are the lovers and the Swiss
run the place.
And hell is where the British are the cooks,
the French are the engineers, the Germans
are the policemen, the Swiss are the lovers
and the Italians run the place.

25 10 2011
libertas

arroyo lies here in a state of wax – no state burial for you, either

arroyo – ‘FJP has taken my spot’

arroyo – ‘where’s the money buried’

aquino – ‘ GMA is to blame’

aquino – ‘ Puno, where are you’

kris a – ‘ i hope my neighbour is young’

25 10 2011
libertas

Kris aquino – not the first time down under

The pope – i will write it later

Atheist – if i was wrong, then i am in big trouble

Oprah – lets get this paaarteee started

Death row convict – he bribed, he lied, he was tried, he fried

Arnie schwarz. – i won’t be back

P-noy – where are the vestal virgins

Thomas eddison – who switched off the lights

Pacquaio – here lies pacquaio – part time congressman, full time babymaker and father of
Queen elisabeth
Prince henry
King arthur
The knights of the round table
Princess beatrice
Duchess daisy
Lord fontelroy
Tom
Dick
Harry
..Continued on other side..

Korina sanchez – here is the news – am dead

Ricky caradang – for once i am not lying

26 10 2011
senior60

hahaha wala lang

26 10 2011
libertas

watching conrad murray trial – final one, maybe obvious but

michael jackson – ‘this is it’

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