LAPSES

14 07 2011

DID YOU MONITOR the Senate Blue Ribbon Committee’s hearing on the PCSO fund mess Wednesday? The hearing was attended by several bishops plus, of course, their savior, the senators.


At least eight bishops and a dozen senators converged Wednesday in the Senate. It was a face-off between pretentious, holier-than-thou, self-proclaimed devout Catholics, and bishops.

PCSO chair Margie Juico apologized for saying that the bishops received “Pajeros.” Sen. Jinggoy Estrada lectured Juico, and said “As a devout Catholic, it pains me to hear that our bishops are involved in anomalies here in our country.” To which, the bishops replied, “The feeling is mutual.”

Butuan Bishop Juan De Dios Pueblos admitted that he made a “lapse in judgment” when he asked for “a brand new car.” And in a move that shocked both the bishops and senators, Virgilio Garcillano issued a statement saying he never gave Pueblos a car.

Reading from a prepared opening statement, controversial Butuan Bishop Juan De Dios Pueblos admitted that he made a “lapse in judgement” in asking for “a brand new car” from former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. As soon as he was done reading, the other bishops held hands and started singing, “If We Hold on Together.”

Actress Susan Roces who was watching Bishop Pueblos on TV was like, “Ang sinungaling ay kapatid ng magnanakaw! You wrote that letter not once, but twice!”

Zaldy
Former governor Zaldy Ampatuan revealed that ex-president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was involved in the election fraud in Maguindanao in 2007. Likewise, he  revealed that Jose Rizal was killed by the Spanish; the Earth revolves around the sun, and John Lennon was shot by Mark David Chapman.

Apparently, Zaldy Ampatuan wants to turn state witness. Against Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

Zaldy Ampatuan has initiated court proceedings to change his last name. He is seeking a little compassion and empathy from the public. Hopefully, the judge would grant his petition to use the surname Mangudadatu.

Lintang Bedol
Former Maguindanao election supervisor Lintang Bedol has surfaced and accused the Arroyos of masterminding the election fraud in Maguindanao in 2007. Oh, I thought Lintang Bedol was dead. Well, now he is.

Lintang Bedol has exposed the alleged massive poll fraud in Maguindanao in 2007. Following his revelation, Bedol expressed fear for his life while Miguel Zubiri expressed fear for his post.

With his revelations against the Arroyos and other officials of the previous administration, Lintang Bedol has expressed fear for his life. He now considers changing his name.

De Lima’s Lovelife
Interviewed on ANC’s Strictly Politics, Justice Secretary Leila De Lima, whose marriage was annulled in 2001, admitted that she has a boyfriend. The 51-year-old single mom refuses to identify the guy nor his background but reveals she has six (new) witnesses to prove her claim.

Justice Secretary Leila De Lima has a lovelife. Take that Mr. President!

Absent!
Among congressmen with the most number of absences in sessions, Sarangani Rep. Manny Pacquiao placed fourth. In other words, he’s not present when solons deliberate on important issues. How are they able to tell?

Ang Galing Pinoy party-list Rep. Mikey Arroyo topped the list of absentees in the House of Representatives. In May 2011 alone, Mikey failed to attend a single session of the chamber. In totally unrelated news, Rufa Mae Quinto topped the list of absentees among “Showbiz Central” hosts for the month of May.
——————————————————————————————-
“Men of ill judgment ignore the good that lies within their hands, ‘til they have lost it.”
~Sophocles

Quote of the Week
“Manny’s a good friend, I actually love him. I love his tenacity, I love his competitiveness. So, Manny’s my guy.”
~NBA superstar Kobe Bryant on Manny Pacquiao

You Have Spoken
Dapat bang ipagbawal ang billboard ng mga naka-underwear na modelo/celebrities??
-Dapat lang. Offensive! 35.36%
-Hayaan na lang! Karapatan nila ‘yan. 26.15%
-Big deal? Ke meron o wala, wala akong pakialam sa mga ‘yan. 38.49%

Kobe! Kobe! Kobe!
It was an awesome experience – as always. Kobe’s fourth visit to Manila was the most attended. Araneta Coliseum was filled to the rafters. Laker and non-Laker fans trooped to the Big Dome Wednesday to see the Black Mamba.

Thank you again TJ Manotoc for the tickets. I was seated beside two Azkals, Jason Sabio and Simon Greatwich, whom I wrongly identified in my tweet as Rob Gier. Apologies.

Thank you Kobe for the visit. Lakers4ever.

Personal
I have a Twitter follower whose father, Mr. Lory Ordenes is a regular reader of this blog. Magandang araw po sa mga taga-Sablayan, Occidental Mindoro and thanks for reading sir!

Enjoy the rest of the week!

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76 responses

14 07 2011
notchfilter

Mikey’s away talking to his constituents abroad daw!?
Nak ng baka, Lord kunin mo na si Mikey!

14 07 2011
jerrycaidic08

really?!? eh diba ang nirerepresent niya ay mga security guards?

17 07 2011
Anonymous

dami sikyo dyan sa wallmart calif… kaya lang walang trike drivers ako nakita.. sory perstym ko lang don e.

14 07 2011
xxx

galing!

14 07 2011
archangel

what do you have against the catholic religion…I know you are agnostic, but impressing all the time that we, as catholics have a “holier then thou” attitude IS REALLY OFFENSIVE. And please…we do not like Kobe Bryant…no matter what you say

14 07 2011
professionalheckler

Apparently, you didn’t get that particular joke. Re-read it. Thank you. And oh, i am not asking you to like Kobe. So why bother comment on that item on him right? U could have just ignored it.

14 07 2011
Anonymous

ayun at may nang away sa yo e di nagkabuhay din ang blog mo hahaha.good yan.lol.

15 07 2011
Anonymous

Besides, if you’re Catholic and you’re not “guilty” of statements against us Catholics, why be pained? And the dig at Kobe was totally irrelevant.

16 07 2011
professionalheckler

THANK YOU for coming back and reading! Yey!

16 07 2011
danny

…sosyal si Prof. PH hindi alam ung mga lenggwahe ng mga hampaslupa hehehe.

14 07 2011
libertas

better to be an agnostic than a hypocrite and purveyor of little boys

15 07 2011
Anonymous

mga aquino-cojuangco fanatic lang naman nandito lalo na si heckler tignan mo pag kakampi na ni abnoy ang mga pari maganda na rin sinasabi nyan.walang kwentang blog!kunyari tinitira si abnoy pero kinakalantare lang ni kris at abunda yang si heckler.

16 07 2011
professionalheckler

i just hope you’ll have the BALLS to identify yourself. okthxbye oh, btw what”s “kinakalantare?”

17 07 2011
Jef

Oh well, that anonymous is an addition to the burgeoning number of idiots in our country, too bad. Can’t even dig a simple satire. Heckler’s not Voltaire.

14 07 2011
Paul

Against the Catholic Church? hypocrisy, political interference, absence of transparency, no accounting of funds, suppression of information on clerical abuse, living a life too comfortable amid widespread poverty, non-payment of taxes, historical sins including land grabbing and use of forced labor, genocide through during the Spanish period in the building of churches and “reducciones”. ………….What a blighted institution

17 07 2011
Anonymous

@danny ano naman tingin mo sa sarili mo sosyal!hampaslupang pa sosyal!!

18 07 2011
danny

@anonymous:

…hampaslupa ako pero hindi sosyal. kya nga kuhang-kuha ko ung word e.

15 07 2011
hikatalomato

wow this catholic can type and know how to upload comments in the internets.

14 07 2011
Jef

Loi, I recommend you put Google+’s “+1″ button in your site. It’s the “in” thing. =)

14 07 2011
markpere2010

President Arroyo was also the first person to enter my mind when I read about Pueblos’ lapse in judgement statement yesterday. Idol nya yata masyado si Madam Ex President. Kung matatandaan po ng ating mga kababayan, GMA began to really woo the church’s support mula nang pumutok ang Hello Garci scandal six years ago. Nakakalungkot nga lang po sapagkat maging ang mga obispo ay na-corrupt na rin…

http://rightonthemark.wordpress.com/2011/07/10/remembering-how-arroyos-diocese-of-malacanang-started-six-years-ago/

14 07 2011
als85

diba PH pang-apat na nya.pag-bisita dito sa Pinas..

14 07 2011
kapalmukstalaga

“Lintang Bedol has exposed the alleged massive poll fraud in Maguindanao in 2007. Following his revelation, Bedol expressed fear for his life while Miguel Zubiri expressed fear for his post.”

i like. +1

kapalmuks talaga!

14 07 2011
Matt

My biggest fear will these scandals will drag out then phase out of the limelight with no action

14 07 2011
Paul

These striptease is necessary to feed the masses with continuous entertainment. Playing out everything in the media instead putting to in the judicial process is important part of bread and circus strategy

14 07 2011
senior60

dapat si miriam ang pasasalamatan ng mga obispo,

sa pagsasabing, wala naman palang pajero at mga

luma pa nga ang iba…

14 07 2011
jobless

luma na talaga, ilang taon na nila ginagamit?

15 07 2011
senior60

ewan ko lang, hindi ako sure pero siguro, luma na

sya nang ibigay at hindi luma na dahil matagal na ginagamit…

17 07 2011
nong

d ba pera/checke ang binigay ng pcso..
yobn ang pinagbili ng puiack up at montero (aka pajero,, readwikipedia)luma mang pera .. pera pa rin..yaks.
kaya sabi ni juico suli ang pera..di ang lumang sasakyan..problema a auction nyan..
ang tama gawin lang tama.. wag na palusot angbaluktot,.

14 07 2011
senior60

always two sides of a coin, miguel zubiri’s fear and

koko pimentel’s hope

14 07 2011
senior60

re: absent, kahit naman absent si for example paquiao,

isang batallion naman ang pumupunta on his behalf

and later fed the absentee, kaya nga, pag palpak ang

nirepresent, blame the representative

14 07 2011
senior60

and last but not the least, for now etchos ha, hahaha

mister heckler, siempre may picturepicture ka with kobe,

share naman kahit isa lang

14 07 2011
libertas

thug arroyo a no show at congress.
no intellectual loss there then.
the arroyos want to change their name to cockroaches. an insult to cockroaches.

pacquaio a no show at congress – no surprise or intellectual loss there either.
he doesnt want to change his name – just his wife.

and the poison dwarf – aka gma – has alo been absent in amsterdam.
maybe trying out vicki belos new con trick for grannies – the vagina tightener! lets hope we never see before or after pictures.
in fact the queen of tackiness and endorser of all things cheap kris – anytime, anywhere – aquino will endorse it.
” front or back i,ve now got a matching crack – so twice the fun and up my bum. if you likee – just do it”

class, intellect and the aquinos, or arroyos, never sit comfortably together in the same sentence.

14 07 2011
loss.loss

libertas/anon’s absence in heckler’s blog for a few days: no ________ loss there.

@senior60: Please fill in the blank. hehe.

15 07 2011
amateur heckler

she was absent? di nga? … no unecessary loss of overworked neurons there.

15 07 2011
libertas

with such towering intellect you should consider membership of MENSA! ENSA!

15 07 2011
senior60

on the contrary loss.loss, sorry to disappoint you pero
na mimiss ko pag wala si anon, for several reasons,
una ay her unique way of posting or papaano ba sasabihin,
yun bang ang hirap intindihin dahil hindi sya in usual form,
another is, ang dami nyang nalalaman ha, must be a bookworm,
and her fondness of posting just whatever comes into her
mind, from one topic to another, saksak sinagol ba kung sa
bisaya pa…

may i add lang, just in case hindi mo pa nalaman kung bakit
sya nag libertas, sabi nya, ” to confuse senior60″ hahaha

18 07 2011
phreddox

ill give it to anon/libertas, she (he?) does have a unique way of writing… when she changed to libertas, i knew after the first few lines it was anon :D

14 07 2011
LAPSES « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[...] the original: LAPSES « The Professional Heckler This entry was posted in Gloria, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo and tagged chamber, from-former, galing, [...]

14 07 2011
Pantasa

“Likewise, he revealed that Jose Rizal was killed by the Spanish”

maybe you’re referring to the Spaniards :)

14 07 2011
professionalheckler

Hi. “The Spanish” is acceptable.

14 07 2011
checkmate

nyahaha kulet ng not once but twice joke, sabi na nga ba parang napanood ko na dati ung lapse in judgment na yan eh nyahaha ^_^

hehe sana lang talaga may mangyari sa mga hearing hearing na yan, panay pasikat na lang sa tv eh…

naalala ko tuloy ung nabasa ko kay sun tzu na mahirap na kalaban ang desperado, reminders lang, just in case…

14 07 2011
rojan88

hahahah, the best ka talga idol. kaya ang sarap basahin nitong site mo eh. kakawala ng umay. hehehe

“The hearing was attended by several bishops plus, of course, their savior, the senators.”
“At least eight bishops and a dozen senators converged Wednesday in the Senate. It was a face-off between pretentious, holier-than-thou, self-proclaimed devout Catholics,” – hayyy it clearly shows the double standard our society have. bakit pag mga bishop ang kausap nina para silang mga maamong tupa, at todo tanggol, hindi ba talaga pede magkamali ang mga naka-abito. or natatakot lang sila na pag dating ng election eh wala silang endorso. kung maka-cross examine sila sa mga ibang resource person nila dati kala mo lalamunin tas dito. tsk tsk. i am not agaist bishops per se but their actions.
I AM SORRY noon, WE ARE SORRY ngayon, at ang similarity. ung BUTs, nung kay gloria, “I AM SORRY pero hindi ko nman talaga kasalanan, naglapse in judegement lng ako na di pala ko dapat kumausap ng comelec official” tas ngayon WE ARE SORRY pero may excuse din. hayyy same kaya gumawa ng speech nila.
hayyy pero i still believe na titino rin ang pilipinas, malapit na. :-)

15 07 2011
Rex Lor

Uy, kami din sa Dagupan pinag-uusapan blog mo over kape! Kudos PH!

15 07 2011
professionalheckler

MARAMING SALAMAT SA MGA TAGA-DAGUPAN! Pakabait kayo kung ayaw n’yo Dagupan ko kayo! #corny!

16 07 2011
etchosera

the joke is passable, if you ask me!

15 07 2011
Luna Miranda

hay, nakakapikon ang Senate Blue Ribbon committee hearing ng PCSO funds na nandon ang mga bishops. nakakahiya ang mga senador natin, halatang takot sa mga pari! kung wala palang na violate na batas bakit pa sila pinapunta sa hearing? para mag-fashion show?

15 07 2011
senior60

hindi natakot ang mga senador sa mga pari, natakot sila
kay miriam…

parang nabasa ko na somewhere itong fashion show thing,
ikaw din ba yon luna?

sa palagay ko naman, walang batas na nagbabawal na
manghingi ang mga pari ng mga sasakyan, kapritso lang
ng mga senador ang pagpapapunta sa mga pari doon para
maka posing sila, ang mga senador ha, hindi mga pari, at
in aid of legislation as always..

15 07 2011
On being Catholic « Derdo's Weblog

[...] reason behind this post was a reaction I read here. It disturbed me. It [...]

15 07 2011
bierne

idol ko si ph!

16 07 2011
professionalheckler

idol ko ang readers! :-) salamat.

15 07 2011
jeproks2002

The bishops retorted that there is nothing wrong accepting donations even if it came from illegal sources if the donations are used to help the poor. I also read that if a known smuggler donated money one catholic priest commented that he will accept the donation and “will use it to help the poor; money is neutral and it is man, not money, who is equipped with a conscience and morality.”
“If Satan appears to me and gives me money, I will accept the money and spend it all on the poor,” Jaime Cardinal Sin once said. “It is not the practice of the Church to ask donors where the donations come from. Our duty is to make sure all donations go to the poor.”
Asked by Jinggoy if he would accept money from the devil, Bishop Pueblos said he might accept it but perhaps ‘discern more about it’.
Can our church please explain then how there actions are any different from criminals who are now languishing in jail for committing crimes to feed their families? Is it justifiable then to work for the devil if only to save other souls and send them to heaven even if it means you will go to hell for it? Is it justifiable for a mother and father to ask their children to undress before the webcam and engage in cybersex so that the family can have enough money?
What is the Catholic Church teaching us here? I am confused.

20 07 2011
Matt

One message “I shall steal unless caught!”

I shall lie, manipulate and profit from all endevours if it helps me personally, I shall abuse my position of power and ultimately I shall PERSONALLY GAIN at the cost of all.

15 07 2011
jjjjjjjjjoy

i love you too kobe!!! un lang.

15 07 2011
patrick

ano-ano nga pala yum 3 vows ng mga pare? chastitiy, poverty and what’s the last?

16 07 2011
hikatalomato

the 3rd one is obedience

chastity means “don’t f*ck your girlfriend coz she’s mine”

poverty means “live like vagrant jesus by surrendering all your possession to the church”

obedience means “following what i’ve said above”

15 07 2011
The Hopeless Romantic Writer

There was a point in the hearing when Sen. Jinggoy Estrada asked Bishop Pueblos, “Who was Satan in this case?” (referring to the car received from illicit sources i.e., PCSO vs then PGMA).

It would have been much fun if Bishop Pueblos answered (in his melancholic voice), “Ahhh… Uhmmm.. Between PGMA and PCSO? I guess Satan would still be your father. And that makes you…son-of-a-devil.”

Joke! LOL

16 07 2011
bostonceltics

First, I like Kobe Bryant. I am a Boston Celtics fanatic but I a Kobe fan I am and I will gladly tell the whole world about it. Very good PR this kid has.

On the other hand, it does not matter whether the Bishops got a pedicab or a bike. What matter is that they accepted gifts from the PCSO? Saan ba galing ang pera ng PCSO? Sa sugal. Di ba ayaw ng mga pari yan. Against daw sa teaching ng simbahan. Sa ginawa nilang pagtangggap ng regalo galing sa PCSO parang pinakain na nila kaming mga Katoliko ng lason di ba? Since when was Robin Hood an acceptable figure in our lives? Di ba alam ng mga Bishops that there is no thing such as a white lie – there is only the lie. So asan pa ngayon ang moral conviction nila to oppose the government now? Ang plastic naman kung patuloy mo pang kakalabanin ang kamay ng nagpapala sa iyo.

Noon, I was wondering why the church and in particular the CBCP were very quiet and soft with the Arroyo administration. Ngayon, kailangan pa bang ipaliwanag kung bakit sila ganon?

16 07 2011
danny

…very well explained.

…have you also considered reading the blog that Prof. PH linked here? Elizabeth Angsioco’s “The church of the poor?”

…read it and it will pain you if you’re being led by them.

16 07 2011
danny

…very well explained.

…have you also considered reading the blog that Prof. PH linked here? Elizabeth Angsioco’s “The church of the poor?”

…read it and it will pain you if you’re being lead by them.

16 07 2011
hikatalomato

simple lang solusyon sa problema mo dong. tumiwalag ka. just like what i did. eh ngayon, kahit singkong duling walang napapala ang holy family incorporated mula sa akin.

17 07 2011
boston celtics

@hikatalomato , hindi naman solusyon ang pagtiwalag. Sa dami ng hinagpis ko bilang isang Pinoy kasagutan ba ang pagapalit ng passport para mawala ang hinagpis ko bilang isang Pinoy. Kailangan lang naman ay isang malayang talakayan upang maiparating natin ang ating saloobin sa mga kinauukulan. Para sa akin naman, hindi naman lahat ng Pari e gaya nitong ating mga bishops na talaga namang lagpas ulo yata ang kamangmangan. Yung mga nasa lower level na Pari lalo na yung mga kabataang Pari, very dynamic at in-tune with the changing times.

Wala naman problema sa pagiging Katoliko, ang may problema ay ang mga taong nagpapatakbo nito pero hindi naman nangangahulugang kailangan na itong talikuran. Gaya rin ng wala naman problema sa pagiging Pinoy, me problema lang ang ating liderato. I believe that us Filipinos are still work in progress. Uunlad din tayo, siguro hindi man sa ating panahon pero ika nga ni Aiza, Pagdating ng Panahon.

19 07 2011
hikatalomato

boston caltex wrote:

“Yung mga nasa lower level na Pari lalo na yung mga kabataang Pari, very dynamic at in-tune with the changing times”

no wonder there’s plenty of hard-drinking, drug-using, party-loving and sodomizing young priests today.

by the way, do we need to capitalize the name “Pari”?

20 07 2011
bostonceltics

Relax. Masyado kang galit sa mundo.

Lest you are not reading, matagal na ang problema ng predators sa alin mang relihiyon. Kala mo lang mas dumami kasi mas matapang na ang media ngayon sa pagbabalita. Kaya nga noon pa merong Sodom at Gomora, di ba?

Go Boston.

16 07 2011
libertas

@senior60
thank you
but am a him not a her – promise

17 07 2011
senior60

promise ka dyan, basta ako, i have this feeling na girl ka,
aside from other reasons, your 2 usernames, i have a girl
neighbor na pangalan ay anon, at kung boy ka, sana libertos
hehe

ano, tatakbo si pacquiao pagka gobernador and to be a senator
be far behind? huwag naman sana aabot sa palasyo, or else,
basta or else, o anong say mo

17 07 2011
boston celtics

It matters not whether you are a He or a She. But it matter if you write well. And you do write well.

The beauty of being in this site is not only because of PH’s witticism but that so many can write as humorously as he could. To bond together because of laughter, isn’t it a wonderful thing?

18 07 2011
etchosera

Yes it isn’t…noh?

17 07 2011
philcruz

That photo of the Mikey reminds me a lot of Benito Mussolini .

19 07 2011
etchosera

Please remind me also.

17 07 2011
nong

mitsubishi montero o Pajero ..prepreho lang..
si http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitsubishi_Montero

However, since pajero is an offensive term for “wanker” in Spanish,[2] alternative names have been used for many markets overseas. It is known as the Mitsubishi Montero (meaning “mountain warrior”) in Spain, India, and the Americas (excepting Brazil), and as Mitsubishi Shogun in the United Kingdom

facts;

so meron naman pajero a..
na elaborate lang na pickup at montero.
di preparado si juico magsagot..nakuryente sa pajero affiliation sa obispo

me tinanggap na funds
binili ng sasakyan
ang funds pang charity di pang sasakyan (malversation of funds para sa PCSO; unwitting donees?? ang Obisopos)
para sa sambayanan di para sa simbahan

sabi ni meriam ..walang karapatan ang COA to say unconstitutionala ang disbursement..e nagbabasa din ng consti ang COA a…
pero di ba sya nagsabi na walang illegal..,baka ibang consti ang basehan nya..o .. sia na ang sc??
hay buhay pinas.. uns sino madaldal sya pinakingan..

18 07 2011
etchosera

Ayyyyy!

Nahilo po ako Koya Nong. Pwede po bang pakiulit?

At pwede po bang dahan dahan lang para maintindihan ko?

18 07 2011
loss.loss

ano raw?

19 07 2011
Anonymous

anong pinag sasabi ni kuya nong???

20 07 2011
Matt

Any mention of shares in all these schools with high fees? be interesting to see how much of that money get stolen from people on a regular basis. Best result would be to stop going to church and stop supporting corruption. Do one and you do both!

20 07 2011
hikatalomato

you are one of the enlightened ones in this blog

going to church is counterproductive. you’re not only wasting time but also spending money.

27 07 2011
tatiarashid

Ang gulo ng haters no? Bakit nyo binabasa ang blog na to kung umiinit ulo nyo? Di wag kayo magbasa. Wala naman pumilit sa inyo. kakaloka.

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