HYPOCRITES, INC.

9 07 2011

Intelligence Funds
During Thursday’s Senate hearing, it was revealed that in 2010 alone, the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office released 150 million pesos for intelligence – higher than the AFP’s annual intelligence fund of 124.3 million pesos. Former PCSO General Manager Rosario Uriarte defended the disbursement of the amount saying the PCSO was able to neutralize Communist rebels, Muslim extremists, and the Abu Sayyaf Group.

PCSO General Manager Rosario Uriarte revealed that the letters of request for intelligence funds totaling 325 million pesos from April 2008 to Feb. 25, 2010 were approved by then President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Uriarte was certain those were GMA’s signatures because she was just one foot away from her when she signed the documents.

JV vs. Mikey
Amid the PCSO fund controversy, former president Joseph Estrada’s son, San Juan Rep. JV Ejercito traded barbs with former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s son, Pampanga Rep. Mikey Arroyo. Here’s their fiery Twitter exchange:

@TheRealJVEjercito
For the reason that they have taken advantage of the Filipino people, they should be sentenced with life imprisonment.

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Palibhasa neophyte ka sa Kongreso kaya wala kang paggalang sa kapwa mo kongresista. Publicity lang ang habol mo.

@TheRealJVEjercito
Correction! Hindi publicity ang habol ko. Ang habol ko, maipakulong kayo!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Wow, ang linis. Sino bang na-sentensyahan ng life imprisonment dahil sa plunder? Eh ‘di ba ‘yong ama mo?

@TheRealJVEjercito
Hoy! For your information hindi pera ng gobyerno ang kinuha ng tatay ko!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Ah oo nga naman, jueteng money ‘yon. Pera ng tao. Eh ‘di mas malala!

@TheRealJVEjercito
May mas lalala pa ba sa pandaraya sa eleksyon ng ina mo!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Ina mo rin! Tapos na ang isyung ‘yan. ‘Wag mo nang ungkatin. Bitter ka lang dahil hindi nagtagal sa puwesto ang tatay mo! ‘Buti na lang at nabisto ang mga kickback niya sa jueteng!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Ah ganun!? Eh ‘yong kickback ng magulang mo sa NBN-ZTE deal? Kumusta naman?

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Hindi nasangkot ang nanay ko sa murder. Baka lang nalimutan mo, hindi pa sarado ang kaso nina Dacer at Corbito!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Fertilizer fund scam ng ina mo!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Boracay mansion ng ama mo!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Mas kaduda-duda naman ang mga mansion n’yo sa California!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
At least ang nanay ko, walang kabit at hindi marami ang asawa?

@TheRealJVEjercito
Rufa Mae Quinto!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
‘Wag kang mamersonal! Break na kami. Last year pa!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Hahaha! Wala ka nang maisumbat! Naubusan ka na talaga! Loser!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Anong wala? Kapatid mo si Jinggoy!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Eeew. Matagal ko nang tinanggap ‘yon!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Eh bakit s’ya hindi pa?!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Hindi ko na ‘yon problema. Tapos ka na? Ako marami pa! Hello na lang kay Mrs. Lilia Pineda! Tumbok na otsenta, sahod na kuwarenta! Hahaha

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Kung magsalita ‘to, para naman ‘yong ama niya eh hindi kumita sa mga Pineda!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Old issue!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Walang utang na loob! Kung ‘di dahil sa ina ko, nakakulong pa rin ang ama mo.

@TheRealJVEjercito
Walang kasalanan ang tatay ko.

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Babaero at lasenggo!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Rehashed.

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Sugarol!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Recycled.

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Bakla!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Tanga! Baka ‘yong kapatid ko.

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Haha! Addict ka talaga!

@TheRealJVEjercito
Ay siya rin ‘yon! Joooke! You didn’t hear it from me huh!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Sure! So pa’no? Ceasefire muna?

@TheRealJVEjercito
Oks lang. Dahil tomorrow naman ay Linggo, payag ako. Unsolicited advice lang: magsimba kayo!

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Bakit naman pati ‘yon pinapakialaman mo?

@TheRealJVEjercito
Wala naman. Concerned lang. Sa dami ng ibinabatong kaso sa ina mo, hindi lang doble kundi tripleng dasal ang kailangan n’yo.

@MightyMikeyArroyo
Wait, sino nga ulit ang bakla sa mga kapatid mo?

@TheRealJVEjercito
Ha-ha-ha Peace! Logout na ‘ko!
-END OF TWITTER EXCHANGE-

SUV-shops
The good news is seven bishops will return the PCSO money used to purchase their sport utility vehicles. The bad news is starting tomorrow (Sunday), there will be a second collection at the end of Mass.

Butuan Bishop Juan de Dios Pueblos says he is a victim of “character assassination.” Excuse me Bishop, but last time we checked, it was you who asked for “a brand new car, possibly a 4 x 4” for your birthday gift! There was hardly anything left of your character to “assassinate!”

Top 10 Things Overheard at the CBCP’s Bi-Annual Plenary Meeting Held Saturday, July 9, 2011

No. 10: “Ang tigas kasi ng ulo mo! Sinabihan na kita noon pa, lumayo ka na kay GMA. Hindi ka nakinig. O, anong napala mo?”

No. 9: “Sa ayaw at sa gusto n’yo, ibabalik natin! Ito lang ang paraan upang malinis ang pangalan ng Simbahan.”

No. 8: “Bishop, sino sa palagay n’yo ang ama ng ipinagbubuntis ni Andi Eigenmann? Albie Casiño o Jake Ejercito? | Ay! Mas pasok sa plangganang butas ‘yong Jake! In fairness! Forgive me Lord!”

No. 7: “Sino ba ang Elizabeth Angsioco na ‘yan at bakit ‘di n’yo mapatahimik?

No. 6: “Hello? Hello? Medyo chubby po kayo Madam President. Ang labo po ng linya n’yo. Hello? Nasa plenary meeting lang po ako. Let me return your call in a while. Yes Madam President. Yes. Huwag ho kayong mag-alala. Hindi ko kayo ilalaglag.”

No. 5: “‘Yong pito sa inyo na laman ng balita ngayon, umisip na kayo ng ibibigay na eksplanasyon sa Vaticano. Mga hinayupak kayo!”

No. 4: “Ito ay pagsubok lamang sa katatagan ng ating paninindigan laban sa RH Bill. Huwag kayong bibigay sa pressure ng mga kampon ng demonyo.”

No. 3: “Pareng Bishop, atin-atin lang ‘to huh! Nakita mo ba ‘yong binaklas na billboard ng Philippine Volcanoes sa Edsa? Grabe! Hindi ko kinaya. Luveeet!”

No. 2: “After ng plenary, kausapin n’yo na ang mga in-assign sa inyong abogado. Paturo na kayo ng isasagot para hindi kayo tatanga-tanga ‘pag tinanong kayo sa hearing next week.”

And the No. 1 thing overheard at the CBCP’s bi-annual plenary meeting held Saturday, July 9…

“Hindi naman ako ang unang nag-draft ng letter na ‘yon kay GMA eh. Hiniram ko lang ‘yong template ni Bishop ******. Bakit ‘yong sulat ko ang napag-initan ni Margie Juico at ng PCSO?”

Overseas
Last Tuesday, a Florida jury found Casey Anthony not guilty of killing her 2-year-old daughter Caylee in 2008. Anthony wasn’t happy though because just this morning, the DOJ and the NBI announced they had found at least six new witnesses against her.
————————————————————————
“We have two kinds of morality side by side: one which we preach but do not practice and another which we practice but seldom preach.”
~Bertrand Russell

You Have Spoken
Ayon sa ilang obispo, pinag-iinitan daw sila ng gobyerno. Makatwiran ba ang kanilang reklamo?
-Oo nga naman. Unfair ang trato sa kanila. 7.1%
-Hindi ‘no! Dapat lang silang imbestigahan! 85.8%
-Magbabasa muna ako. Huli na ‘ko sa balita. 7.1%

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33 responses

9 07 2011
batang buotan

Astig ang JV vs. Mikey! Parang pagtutuos nga mga nagmamalinis na anghel ni [...] :)

9 07 2011
eddibumangon

‘Wag kang mamersonal! Break na kami. Last year pa!

Hahaha. First!

9 07 2011
eddibumangon

Winner lahat ng exchange ot twits…Mr. PH, sino bang kapatid ni JV ang kabaro namin?

10 07 2011
etchosera

Juicemio Koya! Wiz mo knowingerzzie?

Koya….. meet Ate Judelle!

10 07 2011
Lola Nila

di ba nag-asawa na yun ng isang lopez? sino ba yun si….oo si..judy ann estrada!!!

9 07 2011
eddibumangon

On the subject of hypocrites, I think lahat tayo na nagulat (DAW) at ngayon lang nalaman na gatasan ng mga nakaraang admin ang PCSO, ay guilty. Hindi lang admin ni GMA kundi magmula pa sa panahon ni Cory. Teka, may PCSO na ba sa panahon ni Marcos?

9 07 2011
amateur heckler

and i thought your next blog would be “A 2nd hand Helicopter!” but i guess the issue didn’t cause too much lift…

10 07 2011
Pongster

Only our Supreme Court appears not be supreme. With a DOJ Secretary (re Webb) and a PCGG Chairman (re Danding) questioning supposedly final decisions. Moreover, both the Secretary and the Chairman are attorneys-at-law, who as officers of the court are within the disciplinary jurisdiction of the SC justices.-

10 07 2011
Anonymous

Nailed it..!! Excited na ko makita magisa tong mga obispo sa senado… Mangungumpisal sila ngaun sa…. Oh! that’s awkward…

10 07 2011
etchosera

It is!

10 07 2011
carelesshush

hhahaha aliw un twitter exchange!

10 07 2011
Luna Miranda

the best post evah! Intelligence funds from PCSO–merong ganon?! ang galing, ito kasi yong di na kailangan ang resibo.:p

10 07 2011
HYPOCRITES, INC. « The Professional Heckler | Pnoy Talks

[...] here: HYPOCRITES, INC. « The Professional Heckler This entry was posted in Gloria, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo and tagged 2010-were, documents, gloria, [...]

10 07 2011
Anonymous

Hahahaha. LOL!!!!! I can just imagine the faces of JV and Mikey while they are having these exchanges. and those of the bishops, really really funny!!!!!

10 07 2011
El kapitan

You are the best satirical blogger in the Phils PH! May your tribe increase

10 07 2011
professionalheckler

maraming salamat po/!

10 07 2011
etchosera

Truthness!

Natumbok nyo ng otsenta, kabig siyento-bente!

Ang komontra…. ipapa-duterte ko!

Ahah ahah ahah!

10 07 2011
bituing marikit

the interchange between m.a. and j.e. is hilarious…but the implications are not…

10 07 2011
etchosera

Ayyyyy!

What about Alabang, Sucat and Bicutan interchange……. what can you say about their implications?

10 07 2011
danny

No. 3: “Pareng Bishop, atin-atin lang ‘to huh! Nakita mo ba ‘yong binaklas na billboard ng Philippine Volcanoes sa Edsa? Grabe! Hindi ko kinaya. Luveeet!”

…hehe galing!!! sbi ng mga moralista [read as mayors gatchalian & abalos] e hindi raw visually encouraging ung mga billboards kya pinatanggal, i have a question though, which is worst — making your children believe that a rat can be an excellent chef and tamed a fiery critic or telling your children that those are “athlete male models wearing underwears to make the Filipinos cognizant of the rugby sport other than rugby for “singhot boys” in the streets of Cubao?

10 07 2011
etchosera

May isa ngang juding na blogger ang nagtanong (sori po talaga, di ko matandaan kung kaninong blog yun):

Bakit daw pag babaeng nakabikini at parang nakalupasay (hello Ruffa?)ang nasa billboard, okey lang,…. pero pag mga bulkan (Philippine Volcanoes, gagah!) ang nakahubad, eh mahalay sa tingin ng mga mujeres, este mayores na ini?

Hmmmmmm! I fish something smelly!

10 07 2011
danny

…kapal ng mukha ni mickey o, taas noo pa talaga.

…prang proud pa na sabihing: “e ano ngayon kung mandarambong ang mommy ko?”

10 07 2011
etchosera

Koya naman, kelangan talaga taas noo, kasi dahil nga sa kapal na ng mukha niya…….di na siya pwedeng yumuko!

Ahah ahah ahah!

10 07 2011
GhostEmployee

Mickey, ano pa ba mga tinatago mo? Hmmm.. ano ba? paano mo nakilala yung kapatid kong bading., unless “in hiding ka rin”!

10 07 2011
phreddox

Aleeeeew sa twitter exchange! Hahaha

11 07 2011
senior60

wrong ka mister heckler, hindi pera ang isauli ng mga obispo

kungdi sasakyan mismo kaya malamang walang ‘second collection’

kanina

11 07 2011
phreddox

on another note, di ko pa nakikita si anon o si libertas mag comment heheh… strange :D

12 07 2011
senior60

bakasyon grande na naman yon, ayaw daw nya

maistorbo while on vacation

11 07 2011
senior60

bakit walang ka twitter si morato, he is a more

colorful personality

11 07 2011
etchosera

Go Senior!

Send ka na sa twit nya!

12 07 2011
senior60

ayaw ko nga, hindi naman nya ako kilala

11 07 2011
angel jack the devils

PH, another winning piece, keep it rolling sir! sana mag tiger slam ka sa blog awards!!!!

13 07 2011
ovalboy

alam nyo ba na once upon a time ay magjowa si ate juday E. at si cogie D. at alam nyo ba na si nanay cristy ang matchmaker (bugaloo) ????

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