KRISSY/MANNY

18 05 2011

“HELLO THERE! I’m baaaaack! Gosh ‘di na ‘ko sanay! More than one year din kasi akong natengga ‘di ba? Remember, I left ‘The Buzz’ before the 2010 elections. Feeling ko tuloy, talunang Liberal Party candidate ako. Oooops, how mean of me to say that! Ayaw ni Ate Koring ng ganyan! Aha-ha-ha! Anyway, na-miss ko ‘to! Shobra! Kasi naman, ‘yong ‘The Price Is Right,’ parang wala lang ‘di ba? Hindi pa nag-rate. Aha-ha-ha. At least, honest ako! Promise, hindi talaga siya nag-rate!

Anyway, babalik na po ang Today With Kris soon! It will be called “KrisTV.” In fairness to me huh, ‘yong mga morning talk shows sa kabila, nawala nang lahat pero ako pabalik pa lang. Winner ‘di ba? Aha-ha-ha!

Before I introduce my special guest sa mock episode na ito ng ‘Today With Kris,’ gusto ko lang kumpirmahin sa mga followers ko sa Twitter… yup, my brother is dating again. And yes, I know the girl! Hay naku! The Inquirer kasi was so kulit so I was compelled to make kwento. The girl is Bunny Calica. Gosh, sorry Noy. Here I go again. ‘Di bale, promise last na daldal ko na ‘to. Basta, they’re dating and my sons Bimby and Josh have met her na in Malacañang when I made iwan the kids to Noy. She’s so pretty in fairness. I love her na – as of press time! Aha-ha-ha. But you know what? Magaling siya. Magaling siyang yaya. Aha-ha-ha I’m just kidding.  Love, love, love! Baka mamisinterpret na naman ako. Alam mo na! ‘Yon lang muna. Okay? Enough na! Magagalit na naman sa akin si Noy. Move on na tayo mga Kapamilya!

Just like everyone else, super excited po ako sa una nating guest! Naloloka ako sa dami ng issues sa kanya! Did you hear what he said the other day? “Go to the world and multiply!” Aha-ha-ha! Hindi ko siya kinaya! Go to the world talaga??? Where in the world? Aha-ha-ha! I’m sure excited na kayong lahat na makita siya! Ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome… the 2-timing, 8-time world champion, Sarangani Representative Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao!”


Manny Pacquiao (MP): Maraming salamat Kris! Salamat po sa inyong lahat. Maraming maraming salamat. Think you. Think you.
Kris Aquino: Grabehhh, opening line mo pa lang, napaisip talaga ako! Think ako nang think! Aha-ha-ha! Kaloka ka! Anyway, mabuti naman at pinayagan ka ng kabila na mag-guest dito sa ABS-CBN Congressman.
MP: Uki lang. ‘Di naman nila alam. Kaya pag napanood nila itu, tiyak kasu ang aabutin mu! Hihihi Juks lang.
Kris: In fairness, hindi ka amusing.
MP: Uki lang! ‘Di ko naman alam kung ano ‘yong amusing. Hihihi Juks lang!

Kris: Hay naku Congressman, puro ka biro. Let’s go straight na nga lang sa mga issues! RH Bill. Bakit ayaw mo sa RH Bill?
MP: Siyimpri.
Kris: What?
MP: Ayaw ni Miyor Atienza eh. So ayaw ku rin.

Kris: Nabanggit mo sa TV interviews na labag sa kautusan ng Diyos ang RH Bill??? Is that so?
MP: Oo, is that so.
Kris: May sinabi bang gano’n si Lord?
MP: Uu naman. Kasi, sabi ng Mahal na Panginuun sa Bible, “Go to the world and multiply.” Bakit? Sinabi ba ng Panginuun na “Go to the world and RH Bill?” Wala naman ‘di ba?
Kris: May point ka! Aha-ha-ha
MP: Is that so? Hihihi

Kris: Sa isang interview noon kay Jinkee, inamin niyang gumamit siya ng pills para ‘di mabuntis. Si Jinkee ba, pro- o anti-RH Bill?
MP: Anti-RH si Jinkee.
Kris: Ano ba ‘yong RH? Rhanillo? Rhufamae? Rhamina? Aha-ha-ha! Joke lang!
MP: You’re not a muse sing! ‘Di ba nakatatlong lalaki ka rin naman?
Kris: Excuuuuuuuse me! Isa lang ang pinakasalan ko.
MP: Eh panu, kasal pa sina Feelip at Joey noong maging boylits mu. Hihihi

Kris: You know what? Nakakainis ka! Balik na nga lang tayo sa isyu. Have you ever used a condom?
MP: Ay hindi. Ayuku ng cundum. Walang fillings.
Kris: Are you sure? Never ka pang gumamit ng condom kahit sa ibang babae?
MP: Sekkkkrit, walang clue. Hihihi

Kris: What do you think of sex education?
MP: No. I don’t think of six education.
Kris: Ohhhh-kay.

Kris: Nag-threaten ang ilang anti-RH Bill groups na ‘di sila magbabayad ng tax once the RH Bill is approved. Susuportahan mo ba ang panawagan nila?
MP: Hindi! Madaya naman ‘yon. Ang laki-laki ng tax na ibinibigay ko ‘tapos sila hindi magbabayad? Wala sa Bible ‘yon!

Kris: Sabi ni Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago, stick to boxing and do not meddle with the RH Bill issue. Any reaction?
MP: Niririspito natin ang mahal na sinadura piro sana, maintindihan n’ya na wala naman ako sa meddle. Nasa tabi nga lang ako at nakikinig. Mali man siya.
Kris: Hinahamon ka rin niya ng suntukan.
MP: Uki lang. ‘Wag lang Inglisan. Baka ma-knock out tayo dun. Hihihi

Kris: Iwan na natin ang RH Bill dahil medyo mabigat na usapin ‘yan. Let’s talk about Jinkee. Ibang-iba na raw ang hitsura niya? Ano bang secret beauty regimen niya?
MP: Ano ba ‘yong regimen? Puwidi, mag-Tagalog na lang tayo Kris kasi nasa Pilipinas naman tayo?
Kris: Aray ko! Kasi naman ‘yung mga writers ng show, English ang nasa cue card! Na-lektyuran tuloy ako! Aha-ha-ha Ganito na lang: ano ang sikreto ng kagandahan ni Jinkee?
MP: Siyimpre babai.
Kris: Babae? What do you mean?
MP: Ganitu kasi ‘yan Kris. Kapag may tsismis na may babai aku, wala ‘yang ginawa kundi mag-Bilo. Bilo siya nang Bilo. Hanggang nabago na ang mukha niya at kamukha na nga siya ni Kristine Hirmusa. Kaya ‘yun tinigil ku na ang pambababai ku. Mautak din ang asawa ku ‘di ba?


Kris: Alam ng lahat Manny na noong nakaraang eleksyon, magkaiba tayo ng sinuportahan sa pagka-presidente. Inaway pa nga kita sa Twitter ‘di ba? Gosh, nagba-blush ka!
MP: Eh kasi, passed is passed. ‘Wag na nating ungkatin ‘yon.
Kris: Hindeee kasi gusto ko lang itanong sa ‘yo: nagsisisi ka ba sa pagsuporta mo sa talunang kandidato?
MP: Alam mo Kris, wala man akung pinagsisihan sa mga ginawa ku. Piro kung tatanungin mu aku kung tama ba ang nanalung kandidatu… taumbayan na lang ang huhusga. Piro sa akin, ang importante magkaisa tayu, magtulungan tayo para mawala ang kahirapan.
Kris: May tama ka! If you would allow me please Congressman, I’d like to take this opportunity para magpahatid ng mensahe sa mga naninira kay Noy dahil mababa daw ang ratings niya. Well… inggit lang kayo dahil never n’yong naabot ang 80 plus percent na approval and trust rating ng kapatid ko. ‘Yon lang! And pleaaaaaaaase! Alisin ang inggit sa katawan, okay?

Kris: Before we end, we’ll have a game. Siyempre, isa lang naman ang paboritong laro ng bayan ‘di ba? I’m sorry Tita Cory Vidanes pero I must say this. Hangga’t may ‘Pinoy Henyo’ ang ‘Eat Bulaga,’ hindi ito matatalo ng ‘Happy Yipee Yahoo…’ or something like that. Sorry talaga! Mariel, Pokey, friends ko kayo pero tanggapin natin, ‘Eat Bulaga’ is ‘Eat Bulaga!’
MP: And Anna Dezon is Anna Dezon!
Kris: Nakakaloka ka Congressman! Aha-ha-ha Kilala mo rin si Anna Dizon?
MP: Hindi. Piro lagi kung naririnig ‘yang linyang ‘yan. Tika, anu bang game?
Kris: Ayyyyy! Not listening. We’ll do Pinoy Henyo nga. Huhulaan mo ang isang word or phrase by asking Yes, No, or Puwede questions. Audience and everyone at home, the Henyo Word is (word appears on television screen): “Condom.” Kayo lang ang nakakaalam. Si Pacman, hindi. So Manny… we have 2 minutes. Go!

Manny: Tao ba ‘to?
Kris: Hindi!

Manny: Bagay?
Kris: Oo!

Manny: Makulay?
Kris: Oo!

Manny: Rainbow?
Kris: Hindeeee!

Manny: Kinakain?
Kris: Ahmmm… ‘di ko pa na-try. Gosh! Gusto kong mag-blush!

Manny: Anu ba talaga? Ang gulu mu! Kinakain ba?
Kris: Hindi!

Manny: Isinusuot?
Kris: Kurek!

Manny: Sa taas?
Kris: Hindi!

Manny: Sa gitna?
Kris: Oo!

Manny: Brief!???
Kris: Puwede!

Manny: Puwiding brief? Ahm.. boxer?
Kris: Hindi!

Manny: Boxers?
Kris: Sabi nang hindi!

Manny: Suot ko ngayon?
Kris: Hindi ko alam! Aha-ha-ha

Manny: Malaki ba ‘to?
Kris: Depende!

Manny: Kung isusuot ko ba, kakasya ang large sa akin?
Kris: Gosh! Naloloka na ako! Hindi ko sure! Aha-ha-ha!

Manny: Matigas?
Kris: I swear, hindi ko kinakaya ‘to! Naalala kong bigla si James. Aha-ha-ha

Manny: Isinusuot mo ba ‘to kay James?
Kris: Touch lang. Pero suot? Noooooo!

Manny: Masarap ba ‘yon?
Kris: Sometimes.

Manny: Sometimes when you touch? Hihihi Nako, ang hirap naman.
Kris: Sige na! Guess ka pa! 10 seconds to go.

Manny: Ayoko na! Pastilan!
Kris: Ay.. kainizzz. Siret ka na?
Manny: Ano bang sagot? Baka Inglis ‘yan huh.
Kris: You almost got it eh! Sayang. It’s a condom. Sorry. You won nothing. Awwhhhhh.
Manny: Ngik! Kaya pala ‘di ku alam eh. Cundum pala. Wala naman sa Bible ‘yan. Sus!

Manny: Puwidi na lang bumati?
Kris: Sure!
Manny: Unang-una sa lahat maraming salamat sa Panginuun, ‘tapos sa mga fans at sa mga kababayan nating walang sawang sumupurta sa akin. Kung wala kayo, wala si Manny Pacquiao kaya think you. Salamat din sa supurta nina Atty. Felipe Gozon, Mr. Jimmy Duavit…
Kris: Oh my God! I think we need to pause for a break…
Manny: Kunti na lang. ‘Wag n’yu pung kalimutan Shumi Damani tuwing Linggo pagkatapos ng…
Kris: I’m so dead. Enough na talaga!
Manny: Pagkatapos ng Kap’s Amazing Stories! ‘Tapos nasa ‘Party Pilipinas’ ako sa Linggo. Maraming salamat! Maraming maraming salamat.
Kris: I’m sorry Ma’am Charo! Mga Kapamilya… ganyan po talaga kapag live show. You’ll never know kung anong mangyayari! Despite that, any final message Congressman?


Manny: Katulad nga pu ng sabi sa Bible, “Go to the world and multiply.” Huwag po nating suwayin ang utus ng Panginoon. Hindi po sinabi ng Diyos na ikuntrul ang anak sa dalawa. Wala po ‘yun sa Bible. Kaya Kris, sundan mo na sina Bimby at Jushua!
Kris: Idinamay pa talaga ako? Iba ka talaga Manny! Ayoko nang manganak ‘no! Expensive at masakit magpa-lipo!
Manny: Lipo? Naku masama talaga ‘yan.
Kris: Why? Naranasan mo nang magpa-lipo?
Manny: Hindi! Nasa Bible ba ‘yan!

-End of Interview-
—————————————————–
“Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.”
~Mark Twain, Notebooks, 1935

You Have Spoken
Ano ang stand mo sa nakabinbing RH Bill sa Kongreso?
Ipasa! 81.26%
– Ibasura! 10.3%
– Pag-aaralan ko muna. 8.43%

Elsewhere
Newsbreak: PNoy’s new date?

Philippine Daily Inquirer: MVP in the NBA

The New York Times: In Philippine Newsrooms, the Women Rule

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Enjoy the rest of the week! Stay away from trouble. Be safe!

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123 responses

18 05 2011
Nomad

bwahahahahahahaha panalo!

18 05 2011
etchosera

Think you!

18 05 2011
Baidu

Think u! think u! PH!!! isang makalaglag panga na interview!! HAHAHA!

18 05 2011
anon

great interview with ‘the 2-timing’ congressboy.
he is already learning to be a hypocrite. will do well.
and he is also learning that you buy other congressmen with free trips, fight tickets and gambling weekends.

18 05 2011
promdi

the best LOL of all times!

19 05 2011
senior60

i second and third the comment

18 05 2011
anon

Message from Malacanang

Health wealth & happiness.

Went for bike ride to promote health (& mar)
10 mins was enough. Needed rest and cigarette. I am a puffing hero. Next week a hotdog eating contest! That reminds me – went to see band Hotdog in concert – subliminal attraction? -with new girlfriend. Made me feel like a 21 year old. Anyone know where i can find one. Hehe

My wealth is increasing without even working. Thank you mummy and daddy. Yes, i will spend it wisely. Next stop – Lamborghini dealer.

Sex can be bad for your health. Especially if your wife finds you with your mistress and you exit from 2nd floor window. You could run but not jump. Sammy wanjiru – R.I.P.

Reproductive health. I have the answer. Give every woman a brick. Have sex standing up with man on the brick, and when she sees his eyes roll kick the brick from under his feet. Voila.

This week Don Gorske from Winsconsin ate his 25,000th Mcdonalds burger. His cholesterol is normal, but not his OCD. Next week i will have my 25,000th pack of Marlboro.

Pacman is getting too big for his gloves. Stick to gambling & womanising, or take up chess boxing. Queen takes bishops pawn. Checkmate.

Attended ASEAN meeting – All Sex & Entertainment At Night. Nice reporters but no takers, and no Sabrina.

Went to US aircraft carrier. Lots of men in uniform with big guns. Heaven.

Being president is like being 14 again but with no-one to tell you when to go to bed, and with a lot more attention.

Must go. I smell hotdogs.

18 05 2011
ovalboy

overheard in a conversation between two men in a Gensan bar…
boogalo: type mo yung naka red?
customer: yes. magkano ba yan?
boogalo: three five
customer: ano? ang mahal naman!
boogalo: nanggaling na yan kay mani pakyaw…
customer: ganun? kapag dumaan na kay mani tumataas na ang asking price?

18 05 2011
etchosera

Ano po ba ang dapat na reak dito?

19 05 2011
mani pacute

think you

18 05 2011
gasti

ayos ka heckler, dapat sa iyo SCRIPTWRITER!

18 05 2011
phreddox

script writer nga yan. isa kang alamat!

18 05 2011
hikatalomato

hindi nya kamukha ang kanyang panganay.

18 05 2011
bob

itanong mo kay buboy fernandez kung bakit…

…kung bakit sya ang kamukha! :D

19 05 2011
derdo

who’s buboy fernandez?

18 05 2011
andrei

think yu..

18 05 2011
Mar

@anon, heto na ang pinaka-paborito mong idol congressman pacman. hahaha

19 05 2011
anon

” what he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity”
source unknown

19 05 2011
senior60

unknown ka dyan, si anon ang maysabi…

i don’t think so that pacquiao is lacking in intelligence
just because he was not able to interpolate, who is he ba
compared to titans in politics like miriam and edcel..

his fault though is coming to war unprepared but that does
not make him less intelligent, his billions can attest to that..

18 05 2011
anon

@senior60
whilst it is on my mind,
I would like to make a personal comment and observation which applies to many, apart from a reply you made to me in a previous posting.
Critical comments by anyone, anywhere are often dismissed by – ‘ you are envious’ and that would seem to be the sole defence and extent of the intellectual argument.
Does that mean that rich people couldnt possibly want to criticise other rich people, and that poor people only comment because of jealously and therefore that their opinion is worthless. Either scenario takes the fragile state of free speech backwards.
Disagree by all means, but an erroneous premise and an irrelevant comment achieves nothing.
Please take this in the spirit it is intended.

18 05 2011
anodaw

Hindi talaga. Ingit ka lang. Nyahahaha!

18 05 2011
karaangbugoy

Oo nga!

19 05 2011
senior60

But you are indeed envious anon, of pacquiao’s wealth,
if not, why keep on picking at them regarding money
matters.

And i still maintain my doubt that you are a woman.

19 05 2011
anon

@senior60
don’t let the truth or facts get in the way of predudice.
must go. it’s back to begging on the streets.

19 05 2011
Mar

totoo yan senior.

21 05 2011
anon

am a cross dressing lesbian. confused. me too.

21 05 2011
anon

i may not have as much but can still pay 3 million per year to educate my children at one of the worlds best schools and i prefer to do that than buy more hermes items.

18 05 2011
lowela

PH…good job!

18 05 2011
mimi

Kris: Sabi ni Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago, stick to boxing and do not meddle with the RH Bill issue. Any reaction?
MP: Niririspito natin ang mahal na sinadura piro sana, maintindihan n’ya na wala naman ako sa meddle. Nasa tabi nga lang ako at nakikinig. Mali man siya.
Kris: Hinahamon ka rin niya ng suntukan.
MP: Uki lang. ‘Wag lang Inglisan. Baka ma-knock out tayo dun. Hihihi

* TRueness itech :) nosebleed ang abot nya dun

18 05 2011
Joey in Dubai

Medyo serious lang ang critique ko ngayon ha. Anyway, regular reader naman ako and I’ve always commended you for your posts. Actually, hilarious ang post mo and I had a good laugh. Pero pansin ko lang, mahaba ang post mo ngayon at parang nag-wane yung hilarity dun sa part ng “Pinoy Henyo”. Parang nawalan ng momentum ang humor doon. Parang na-blangko utak mo dun sa Pinoy Henyo. Anyway, magaling ka pa rin…ikaw pa rin ang da best Pinoy political satirist. Maganda itong Krissy/Manny but I don’t think it’s not in the level of your “GMA” interview which I think remains as the best of your posts.

19 05 2011
Paul

Thankful if you can send in your version of that part you are referring to so that we can see how it looks like with that “momentum”.

19 05 2011
kalokah

what? are you sirious?

20 05 2011
promdi

didn’t see any blank, nay, waning of so-called hilarity. it’s LOL, actually, head to toe… pex man!

18 02 2013
Eissej Olleb

I think ung penoy henyo was just as great

18 05 2011
Weh

ang galing! like! mr. ph maglagay ka kaya ng fb like buttons sa articles mo. heheh.

18 05 2011
mc lovin

Pacman should know which battles to fight.

Sure ako di niya pa nababasa lahat ng provisions ng bill and di siya makakagawa ng decent and logical argument against the bill. Malamang i-quote niya ulit ang bibliya gaya ng ginagawa ni Pabling Garcia.

18 05 2011
bingmalambing

hahaha…one of ypur best….madami magrereak dito.

18 05 2011
El kapitan

Ipupusta ko ang singko ko, nadala lang yan sa sulsol ni Atienza. Nakana mo PH!

18 05 2011
Anonymous

dunt wuri fuckyaw madami ring magaling mag english sa mintal huspital ahihihi.

18 05 2011
marja

aha..ha..ha…yur da bist talaga Mr PHiEtch!!!! Think yu!

18 05 2011
JC

LOL Loved the way she introduced Manny: “Ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome… the 2-TIMING, 8-time world champion” HAHA!

18 05 2011
autumnleaf

ahaha! this made my di (day). viry funny ka talaga, mr ph. you’re the best. so witty. how i wish there were more of you who well gu out to the wurld and moltiply. thinks you viry miny for the lafftir lol…

18 05 2011
Paul

Great Post. How funny and at the same time tragic are the consequences if one ventures into something outside his area of expertise or electing into office somebody with no expertise in making public policy.

19 05 2011
anon

definition of insanity
“repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”
einstein

i.e. if people keep voting for idiots and hypocrites then they should not expect things to improve.

20 05 2011
senior60

mali ka naman dito paul, gusto mong mangyari na

hindi na tayo pipili ng mga bago, yong mga luma na

lang election after election dahil sila na ang may

expertise in public policy, at, huwag na tayong lumayo,

si pacquiao halimbawa, kailangan mag boxing lang siya

hanggang sa dako pa roon, ganuon

20 05 2011
Paul

If they want to be public policy makers, then they should study the science and the art to be fair to the people how choose them. This is what Recto (background economics) and Pangilinan (background:law) did. Even Binay. Vilma Santos and Herbert Bautista took up public administration in UP. If we leave policy making to the clueless, the result will similar to a heart operation done by a mason

20 05 2011
promdi

in fairness, senior; maalala ko lang; dun ba sa mga elected congressmen, and some senators, me napatayo na ba silang ospital, mga simbahan, at school” me mga iskolar ba silang pinapaaral na mahigit man lang sa 300 kahit paulit-ulit silang tumatakbo at nauupo sa pwesto, pero hanep sa Ingles at paggawa ng mga batas na di naman naiimplement? paki sagot lang senior, hane? wala ako care kay MP, di nya ako kilala. miron lang ako at mahilig mang-amoy; and, in fairness, fair naman ako where fairness is due!

21 05 2011
Paul

Provision of infrastructure and social service is an executive not a legislative function under the structure of three government branches . As a secular state, no government money should be spent promoting any religion like building catholic churches.

21 05 2011
senior60

sa totoo lang, yang policy making is just common sense,

you don’t have to study anything, you and anon for example

can be good policy makers only that you are not congressmen

and senators

21 05 2011
senior60

loud and clear promdi, taaaama ka, sama ako sampo ha

21 05 2011
Paul

If policy making is common sense, please tell me what provisions of the Indigenous Peoples’ Act, or the Clean Air Act or even the Local Government Code which were just a result of off-hand opinion and not of some rigorous study and consultations so we can trace back to their documentation during policy making

20 05 2011
hikatalomato

ñor perhaps you remember what i’ve said during election period: “the uglier the politician is, the more he will do no good”

see, it’s true.

21 05 2011
senior60

ibig sabihin hikata, gwapo si lagman?

aaaat maganda si miriam? hindi nga

18 05 2011
mara

the best ka talaga ph….tumatawa na naman ako mag isa…
ikaw ang dapat na mag ‘go out to the world and multiply’ :)
nga pala ph, how true na inindian ni pnoy si pakyaw, kasi di ba may courtesy call si pakyaw pagdating nya sa manila, kaso pnoy chose to visit the US carrier .

18 05 2011
rojan88

hahaha. the best ka idol PH, nakana mo na naman..kakatuwa talga to si Pacaman eh, double knockout nung press con sa CBCP, naka-culur parpol na tie na (which is the color of pro RH), si Jinkee pala eh nagpills pa. huli ka pacman, 1-2 punch.hahaha.
Mukhang ginawa lang talga syang Mukha ng anti-RH, para masabi lng na mas sikat din na tagasuporta ang anti-RH. halata naman di pa nya nabasa yung bill eh. wala tuloy sya laban kay Rep. Lagman..kung madami na syang negro na pinatuba sa boxing, 1 negro lng pala from Bicol ang makakaknockout sa kanya sa congress. hehehe.
keep it up idol PH. you’re the man. :-) #lakersforlife. :-)

CONGRESSMAN can be anybody but LAWMAKER should be somebody. :-)

http://rojan88.wordpress.com

19 05 2011
hikatalomato

watch your language man.

their skins may not be as white as yours, but their d*ck is 10X bigger than yours.

19 05 2011
Anonymous

kris is back the talking va*ina.ay ang laswa.kuling mommy dionisia.

19 05 2011
senior60

how hilarious naman this lagman, hindi naman pala
compulsory ang pagpapatupad ng bill kung sakali,
bakit pa magkaroon ng katakottakottakot na debatehan,
at tsaka, mayroon palang ganuon? na hindi compulsory
ang batas?

mabuti naman ang layunin ng rh bill, pero, why not instead
information dissemination ang gagawin, one sure effective
way is by flooding television where almost everybody has
access to, and many other ways

one thing is for sure, this will be another source of corruption
once approved, from top down to the barangay level

19 05 2011
Paul

The central tenet of RH in all open societies is always education and universal access and not compulsion. Its about imbibing individuals with capability to make informed choice and carry this out rather than being dictated by self-righteous persons of authority like the bishops

19 05 2011
TOMADOR

Not necessarily lolo

The RH Bill in effect(amongst other provisions) would require LGU’s to provide their local constituents free access to contraceptives and seminars pertaining to family planning.

Currently, if say the Mayor, Governor of a town or Province is “the conservative type” or more or less follows the teachings of the RCC he disallows such services to his/her constituents effectively robbing them of their right to free access to family planning advise and contraceptives. And in my opinion is WRONG, why? Hindi lang naman Romano Katoliko ang mamamayan ng Pilipinas…bakit impose ng isang LGU head ang kanyang religious beliefs sa mga tao na hindi naman kaparehas ang relihiyon…that is a form of discrimination already.

Provided that this may be a source of corruption, surely it will not be in your local barangay health center(s)

20 05 2011
senior60

tomador, foremost, i know that you are just being
respectful by addressing me lolo, but i would rather
be called just plain, senior, kasi parang nanginginig
na mga tuhod ko pag ganuon hehehe

at ano ang “not necessarily”, ang pag-abot ng corruption
up to the local barangay health centers? kasi ang common
notion is that, corruption must be by the millions, hindi,
ano ngayon ang tawag mo doon sa halimbawa lang, ang
mga condoms and others ay, totoo nga, may distributions
na mangyayari BUT the bulk of it ay hindi, nasasa mga kamay
ng mga namamahala sa centers, right? or left

huwag na natin isali ang mga pari, focus tayo sa bill, na ang
sabi doon parang, para hindi na lolobo ang population, ang
problema dito lalo na sa mga mahihirap, as in, na mahilig
gumawa ng mga bata, papaano nga ang pagpapatupad, how
sure is the mayor that the couple will ano, yun na nga, papaano
kung anak pa rin sila ng anak, pagkatapos, hingi ng hingi ng
contraceptives, ang sayasaya

of course this is just one aspect of the proposed bill…

and i maintain also that there is enough food and room for
everybody including the unborn ones, God already provided
everything for us…

anyway, kung may isisilang may namamatay naman kaya
hindi tayo aabot sa punto na magiging parang sardinas na
tayo, He will take care of that, kaya

NO TO RH BILL, JUST A WASTE OF MONEY

20 05 2011
anon

SAY YES – THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE.

when you knock one out, you dont have to knock her up!

colloquial slang but sure you can figure out the meaning

20 05 2011
Paul

The Philippines has only 5 deaths per 1000 population but 25 births, Please tell your God to provide for the 35 Million Filipinos who are experiencing hunger, 3 million are squatting in MManila and 200,000 of our children are living in the streets and 8 mothers die everyday while giving birth. He might be asleep or maybe we are too close to the Church but too far from God.

21 05 2011
senior60

paul, i have just stated that God already provided
everything for us, don’t tell me that you’d want Him
to come down, cook food for the hungry and build
houses for the homeless, sobra na tayong abusado

“8 mothers die everyday while giving birth” paul, in
His time, all of us must die, in different guises and
one of them is motherhood

in passing, isn’t it weird that children should be taught
how to use contraceptives to avoid unwanted pregnancies?
why not instead instill in them good moral values, the
hazards, the bad consequences of premarital sex

NO TO RH BILL

and YES anon, you have all the RIGHTS, but can’t you
CHOOSE without passing it into a law?

21 05 2011
Paul

Please tell your God to tell these people where to get the food to cook and the money to buy houses. It seems only the the Conjuangcos got all the information. If death is solely on the hands of your God, why is it that in countries like Switzerland barely no mother dies in giving birth and and the life expectancy is 82 versus the PHL’s 68? Does your God like the Swiss more than Filipinos?

20 05 2011
promdi

ay senior; didn’t u get the saddest quote of the day nung unafg sesyon ng debate ni lagman re RH? “We are here to legislate the law of man; not the law of God!” imagine! spine-tingling; kakila-kilabot! very unChristian is mr. lagman! naman, naman! yet he claims he is a Catholic, only one class of Christian. whatever, every well-meaning Christian is of the sole belief that everything in this world is of and by God. Entonces, all human beings, which are a pet creation of God have been equipped with resources and enough wisdom to make laws (to regulate themselves and their acts) but are expected to be obedient to God’s law. Regardless of the RH bill, Mr. Lagman sounded too arrogant to intimate that the Law of God has nothing to do with making the laws of men! when in fact, It is all but the basis of all things worldly?

20 05 2011
Paul

How about us who are not Christians and do not believe on your god? Should the State compel us to follow the Christian doctrines? Is this not a rape of secularism, pluralism and democracy which are the foundation of our society? Or have we moved to theocracy without being informed? Whats next, persecution and massacre of the heretics and non-believers?

20 05 2011
Paul

I’m sure Lagman was still more Christian than Cory Aquino who sat on the front pew for Sunday mass while screwing up the lives of the peasants of Luisita 24/7. Or Bishop Bacani who molested a church worker or these priests charging P10,000 for a mass. Unchristian or inhuman

21 05 2011
senior60

Amen to that

21 05 2011
senior60

paul, nowhere in promdi’s comment did she ever mentioned
that a heretic/non-believer like you will be compelled to follow
the christian doctrines, was only lamenting about lagman’s
statement, he being a professed catholic

your fear about persecution is way way way advance thinking,
don’t worry, this may not and will not happen in your lifetime

22 05 2011
Paul

Providing barriers to non-Catholics to access to RH and denying them the right to choose because the Catholic Church do not like the options is a form of persecution. It forces us to comply to religious doctrines we do not subscribe

19 05 2011
maccallister

hahaha ang galing! hilarious post! more!!!

19 05 2011
timpaul

Si jinkee mukhang si mommy D.

19 05 2011
derdo

Grabe ang effort to write this, I think. Imagine to spell each Manny word as pronounced. Sipag mo. At ang galing. No offense to Manny.

19 05 2011
motorola

Nabuhay naman si Anna Dezon is Anna Dezon :)

19 05 2011
Trust

Ano kaya ang rason for MVP to invest in an NBA team?

19 05 2011
anon

The comedy God blessed the country with the gift of Krissy and Manny but even he thinks that there are enough jokes in philippine politics.

3 Nuns talking

1st Nun; last month i found some pornographic magazine in the priests office.

2nd Nun; what did you do

1st Nun ; i burnt them.

2nd Nun ; well, i found some condoms

1st Nun ; what did you do

2nd Nun; i put holes in all of them

3rd Nun ; Oh !@?^ . I am in trouble.

19 05 2011
als85

hahaha payts kaayo..PH gakasakit akong tiyan cge ug katawa!!
bravo!!

19 05 2011
DEL

Bakit pinalitan yung pinoy henyo? Libelous ba yun, o tinawagan ka, hahaha? Pero parehas na panalo, sayang di nabasa nung mga late nagbukas, hahaha.

19 05 2011
professionalheckler

naisip ko lang na mas ok kung consistent sa theme. nahhh, nobody called me.

19 05 2011
bingmalambing

bakit naiba pinoy henyo?

19 05 2011
dudut

like. nice one

19 05 2011
mallrat

ang kulet!!! one of the best mo ‘to, PH! keep ‘em coming!!! hehehe.

19 05 2011
badong trueasiatik

ang lufet ng usapan ni Manny and Kris..lalo na nung final message na

19 05 2011
Ging

A Cebu daily quoted the Krissy-Manny interview as the real thing. Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

19 05 2011
professionalheckler

Online? Can u provide me the link?

20 05 2011
amateur heckler

i read this quoting your blog but not as the ‘real thing’ interview. i don’t think this is what ging is referring to. http://www.sunstar.com.ph/cebu/opinion/2011/05/20/seares-manny-anti-rh-debater-156466

20 05 2011
Ging

PH is quoted again today (as posted by amateur heckler). The one I mentioned came out in yesterday’s paper. I will look for it when I get to the office.

20 05 2011
professionalheckler

Thanks Ging! :-)

20 05 2011
Ging

PH, i sent the photo to your FB account. i couldnt find the link to your email here.

19 05 2011
kaloigraphy

bravo ph! bravo! think yu! think yu!

19 05 2011
erwgfergrt

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water

19 05 2011
Selle

Len Lopez Facebook account.
Pretty sya…

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=816404347

19 05 2011
TOMADOR

In fairness to Pacquiao, no matter how some see his “meddling” into the RH Bill issue to be out of his comfort zone..it is his duty to dip his fingers into the matter. He is by the way the representative of Sarangani which if I am not mistaken is also one of the poorest province in the PH.

Some criticize him kasi hindi daw nya specialty ang legislation, pero eto lang masasabi ko..at least he is trying to make a difference and not just sit there and watch unlike some celebrity congressmen…where is Lani Mercado? Lucy Torres? dapat sila nga mas maging active not because they are representatives..mga babae sila which is one of the MAIN focus of RH Bill..the health and well being of women.

A couple of posters here feeling magaling, kesyo sa tingin nila hindi kaya nung tao maging effective kasi they are operating outside of their comfort zone but fail to realize the kind of extra effort being performed by the elected individual to make a difference for his constituents and people. Tell me, what have you done lately that helps the plight of our countrymen besides criticize? LOL…. ano pay your taxes? yun lang?

But above anything else…nakaktawa pa din ang “conversation” ni Krissy and Packy LOL

19 05 2011
Paul

If his purpose is to convince other lawmakers and the public to favor the sentiments of his constituents against the RH bill being their representative, his performance during the interpellation seems to have the opposite effect.

20 05 2011
TOMADOR

IMO his purpose is not only to convince the public about his beliefs against the RH Bill, it is his making his own stand against the bill..in tagalog, may paninindigan.

And yes you are correct, the effect of his being outspoken as of late and his attempt at interpolation in congress is akin to watching his previous fight against Mosley.

Don’t take me wrong, I am PRO RH. However Pacquiao like all of the members congress are elected officials who have every right to state their opinions, objections or what have you with regards to this very HOT topic no matter how people perceive it as ineffective or weak.

20 05 2011
anon

agree. pacman is helping the yes vote. and he and jinkee should talk and get theur stories straight. a PR disaster, but what else would you expect when chavit singson is your political advisor and mentor. the chauvinistic wife-beater is the perfect reason why you should use condoms.

19 05 2011
RODAMOT

“Tell me, what have you done lately that helps the plight of our countrymen besides criticize? LOL”

Typical na hirit ng mga Yellow Fanatics. Dilaw na dilaw.

20 05 2011
TOMADOR

ah yes…here come the stereotypes..did I ruffle your feathers?

dilaw, asul, bughaw, pula, itim…wala ako paki alam . Tawag dyan being a realist =P

20 05 2011
religiousboy

Natumbok mo Tomador. At least si Pacquiao kahit matalo sa debate lumaban pa rin at di nahihiya. Pag-akyat kaya nitong issue sa senado si Lapid (remember him?)kaya makakapagdebate din ng even half of what Paquiao has done? Even if I don’t agree with Pacquao, I really give it to him.

20 05 2011
Dilaw

you’re back…

19 05 2011
anon

@senior60
he should learn the ‘7p’ saying

Proper Planning & Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

21 05 2011
senior60

oo nga, sugod ng sugod sa gierra ng walang sandata,

but that is ok, anyway he is a neophyte pa naman, in

no time, he will be good because he is willing to learn,

yong iba nga, mga last termer na hindi pa nakatontong

sa podium…

19 05 2011
Disgruntled Bystander

Brilliant and wickedly funny!

20 05 2011
amateur heckler

going over the RH bill i cannot help but wonder about the author’s intent of the law. i am neither pro or anti RH bill at this time since i have a lot of questions about it and i don’t know where to get the answers. hopefully, my questions will be deemed relevant by some congressmen and be taken up when they discuss the bill in the plenary or even in debates on tv. I understand that the RH bill seeks to protect and promote the reproductive health of the people. Discussion is most often focused on the ‘control’ or ‘planning’ of having children. Debate is primarily geared towards the violation of religious beliefs, the freedom of choice, and moral issues. However, does the law also provide help, not only to those who do not want to have children, but to those who want to have children but are incapable of doing so because perhaps of medical problems? Does it offer help by giving appropriation to those who have fertility problems? If so, does this mean a person who has erectile disfunction can seek help under this law? Will this law provide for free, as in the case of those who want condoms or pills, medicine like viagra to those who have ED?

20 05 2011
Dilaw

Ahh, basta… Kung naipasa yung RH Bill, wala ng maghihirap. Katulad nong ano… Kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap. Wag nang madami pang tanong, pumayag na kayo sa RH Bill dahil ito ang daan tungo sa pagbabago. Ito ang tuwid na daan.

20 05 2011
TOMADOR

@senior – O ayan senior na ha para di na manginig tuhod mo hehehe

My example about certain conservative mayors or governors are facts. Nangyayari talaga ang ganyan, one example sa Laguna kahit san health center ka pumunta walang available service for family planning.

Kasi sa kasalukuyang patakaran, hindi obligado ang LGU mag promote ng Family Planning sa constituents nya.

RH BILL would MANDATE the LGU to promote and educate couples especially women. So sa tanong mo na yan, dun makikita ang effectiveness ng measure na ito. And hindi na pag-lobo ng populasyon should be considered as the effect of what the RH Bill is trying to prove.

Realistically ang corruption is inevitable at this day in age, no matter how the Government would push its anti-corruption campaign meron at meron pa din dyan maglalakas ng loob magnakaw sa kaban ng bayan, but that is another discussion.

But seriously, wala naman siguro mag attempt mag hoard at magtago ng condoms at contraceptives para ibenta diba? hehehe marked yang mga yan na not for sale.

22 05 2011
etchosera

Jaena Kuh!

Care ko ba dyan sa debatehan tungkol sa RH bill na yan?

Eh puro magagaling lang naman sa grandstanding at pangungurakot ang mga lintek na mga pulitiko na yan ah!

Sakaling maging batas man yan, eh maipatupad naman kaya ng maayos? At kung maipatupad man yan, may magagawa ba naman yang RH Bill na yan para mabuntis sina Madam Auring at Vicky Belo?

23 05 2011
senior60

iyan ang mabait na bata, makuha sa pakiusap…

ano ba naman yang lugar mong laguna tomador, walang
available service for family planning? ano yan, nasa
kaduluduluhan ng bansa? malapit sa babuyan island?
sa darating na election, huwag ng iboto ulit si mayor…

basta ako, ok lang na maraming bata, masaya nga, they
are God’s gift…

hindi naman problema ang over population, ang problema
lang, ang mga naghihirap, at hindi rh bill ang solution,
maghanap si noynoy ng paraan para sila maiahon sa
kahirapan, yan ang dapat ( ito naman kasing mga mahihirap
ang sipagsipag gumawa ng bata, mga lazy naman )

at ikaw ha, kunwari hindi mo alam na yang mga marked na,
not for sale ay actually for sale hahaha

20 05 2011
edwini

GALING PWEDE KANA mag apply bilang script writer sa Lahat ng station hahaha

20 05 2011
Maxlip

Think you, PH! Para sa masul pin, mag alaxan ep-ar!

20 05 2011
Krissy/Manny (by the Heckler) « Ako si Leah.

[...] day. Hindi pa tapos ang interview na yan. Kung gusto nyong basahin ang buong interview, punta kayo dito. Eto ang bahay ng The Professional [...]

20 05 2011
Leah

This is wickedly FUNNEEEHH!! hehe.. ang galing! PH, hindi ko talaga napigilan ang sarili ko. I gotta share this.. kaya kumopya ako ng ilang parts sa “interview”. Of course, merong link back.

Here’s the link. Salamat! :) http://newstartleah.wordpress.com/2011/05/20/krissymanny-by-the-heckler/

21 05 2011
professionalheckler

No prob. :-) Thanks!

22 05 2011
junil

I like it….so soo funny..hehe

22 05 2011
SuperGulaman

wooahhh..nice one..funny… very funny… :D

23 05 2011
senior60

paul, even if God will turn this place into a paradise,
you’ll still find faults because He is not your god…

by the way, as it is, without the rh bill, before the
statements of the catholic church, who is denying
you the right to choose?

NO TO RH BILL, this will just milk the gov’t of 3B,
naghihikahos na nga..

23 05 2011
senior60

anon, i know you are rich because many times you
had already said so, but what is shocking is your
new revelation that you are a cross dressing lesbian

aannnoooooonnn? hindi nga

11 06 2011
noel

musta na mr landicho

14 08 2011
jepoy suarez

Nice one! Fave ko ang Juks lang!

11 12 2011
arbee cy

super funny! laveeet!

17 05 2012
mikojose

Super funny. LOL. Wala sa bible nyan.

27 11 2013
Nurse Wanderer

“Aha-ha-ha! Hindi ko siya kinaya!” Promise! Honesto.

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