DANGEROUS

28 12 2010


2011 Budget
On Monday, President Aquino signed into law the P1.645-trillion General Appropriations Act of 2011… drawing praise and a loud applause from lawmakers who couldn’t wait to reimburse their expenditures last election.

Firecrackers!
According to the Department of Health, the top causes of injury on New Year’s Eve are (in order): 1) piccolo 2) kwitis 3) five star 4) whistle bomb 5) boga, and 6) triangle. Surprisingly missing from the list are ‘katigasan ng ulo’ and ‘katangahan.’


Instead of firecrackers, the use of pots and pans to make noise on New Year’s Eve has been recommended by the Department of Health. Or you could also try any Kris Aquino movie.

Last weekend, a 44-year-old woman from Bulacan committed suicide by swallowing piccolo firecracker. It was the second suicide try by the woman. In her first attempt, she tried to swallow pots and pans.

According to the DOH, even ‘torotot’ is dangerous for kids. Yeah, we know. They have to become adults first before they engage in that.

MMFF Awards
Several people are questioning the results of the MMDA-organized Metro Manila Film Festival Gabi ng Parangal. But that’s totally unfair. Awards are subjective. Besides, why expect too much from the very same people who run the metro’s traffic system?

Palace spokesman Atty. Edwin Lacierda headed this year’s MMFF board of jurors. Ignoring criticisms, Lacierda insisted that the list of winners was “fine-tuned” before being made public.

Top 10 Things Overheard At the Recent Dinner in Malacanang When President Aquino Arrived with Stockbroker Maria Elena ‘Len’ Lopez

http://professionalheckler.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/lenlopez.jpg?w=284&h=170
No. 10: “’Yan ba ang bagong chick ni Presidente?!?! Wehhh?”

No. 9: “O Ricky, ‘yong promise mo huh. ‘Wag mo munang ili-leak sa ANC.”

No. 8: “’Asan ba ‘yong number ni Victor Agustin ng Manila Standard Today? Ah, here. 0918-904-3826 Send! Bingo!”

No. 7: “In fairness, mukha namang palaban. Good luck kay Kris!”

No. 6: “As agreed in last week’s Cabinet meeting: no cameras, no cell phones, no videocams, nothing! Paki-deposit na lang sa reception.”

No. 5: “Ano kayang ipinakain sa kanya?”

No. 4: “Kinain kaya niya? Eeew!”

No. 3: “(Whispering) Pare, tuloy ang pustahan huh. Basta hula mo, hanggang mid-January lang. Sa ‘kin, feeling ko tatagal ‘yan hanggang birthday niya sa Feb. Deal?”

No. 2: “Oo ngaaaaaaa! Mas maganda nga siya kesa kay… Rico E. Puno!”

And the no. 1 thing overheard at the recent dinner in Malacanang when President Aquino arrived with stockbroker Len Lopez…

“Good evening. Ang sinumang magkukuwento sa media na nandito ngayong gabi si Len ay automatikong kasama sa Cabinet revamp next month. Maliwanag?”
————————————
“Kung ako ang may tindahan, lahat ng tao except for you, bebentahan ko nang mura. Sa ‘yo lang ako magmamahal.”
#chizcurls #kesongputi #chizescudero

Survey Says
Forty-two years na ang Partido Komunista ng Pilipinas. Any message?
5.24% – Mabuhay kayo! Ituloy ang pakikibaka para sa tunay na pagbabago sa gobyerno!
73.80% – Forty-two? Hayyyy, sad. Stop na kasi! May ibang paraan pa upang makamit ang pagbabago.
20.96% – Wala akong pakialam sa kanila.

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Have fun! Stay away from drugs. Don’t party too much!
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41 responses

28 12 2010
timpaul

Ahem!

28 12 2010
rojan88

ayus ah, nice year ender PH. kahit talo ang lakers naten, at least may pambawing pampasaya. hehehe. ayus na ayus to “No. 2: “Oo ngaaaaaaa! Mas maganda nga siya kesa kay… Rico E. Puno!””. hahaha. kelan kaya masisibak ang Puno, sana matapunan ng paputok ngayong new year para matupok. hahaha. #jokelanbakamagkatotoo

28 12 2010
oman

First sa wakas! ;)

28 12 2010
oman

im afraid of firecrackers, maybe i shud try watching Sukob or Feng Shui. HAHAHAHAHA..

28 12 2010
Poppy Fields

Besides, why expect too much from the very same people who run the metro’s traffic system?

You hit the nail in the head!

3 01 2011
etchosera

ayyyyyy! saan po ba talaga ang ulo ng kuko?

28 12 2010
jde

updated ka talaga PH. Happy new year, sana tahimik ang bagong taon mo :)

28 12 2010
dan

i2 tlgang mga lawmakers natin, publicity-hungry. lahat ng opportunity tlgang grab nilang lahat. have you noticed something s pix ng signing? prang lahat naka-cheeze smile.

tignan nyo ung laging mga naka-buntot kay PACMAN. pro ni isa wlng pumansin sa kalagayan ni NAVARETTE ngayon kung nabaliw na ba o tumino pa.

hay naku, philippine politics nga naman.

PH, tlagang kinarir muna ung pagsisipag sa holiday ha?

28 12 2010
blueheart

dangerous c mr. president..hehe

28 12 2010
bjpred09

nakakatawa ang DOH firecracker report hahaha! i’ve always loved PH’s posts and i’ve been following him for years, even before he transferred his blog to wordpress… wala pa ring kupas! kudos! :)

29 12 2010
professionalheckler

buwisit ang blog-city eh. sinisingil ako ng dollars. utot! eh wala nga akong kinikita rito. :-) thank u! happy new yr!

28 12 2010
senior60

uuyyy mukhang inspired ka mister heckler, mahabahaba na

ang parting words mo….

28 12 2010
senior60

siguro hindi maliwanag ang sinabi ni noynoy dahil

nalaman din ng media ang pagsama ni lyn sa party,

hala ka kung sino ka man, kasama ka na sa revamp…

28 12 2010
senior60

para sa akin, para sa akin lang ha, ewan ko sa inyo,

kanyakanya naman tayo ng, para sa akin, ‘ katigasan

ng ulo ‘ ang top cause of injury on new year’s eve..

28 12 2010
aj

ayos!

28 12 2010
Xxx

Di ko nagets no. 8

29 12 2010
professionalheckler

vic agustin was the (political gossip) columnist who first wrote about that issue (LEN LOPEZ attending the palace dinner). so malamang may source sha sa loob ng palasyo kaya nalaman niya

28 12 2010
promdi

Kris Aquino movie to make noise on New Year’s Eve? Weeeeeh! Squeeeaaak! walang sinabi ang judas belt. he he he!

28 12 2010
promdi

hay! bakit kailangang magsama ng chicks sa dinner sa Malacanang? Sabagay, normal sanang tingnan kundi lang…. haay! mukhang desperate ang arrive sa akin eh! sori poooh!

30 12 2010
esa

Ang tawag diyan, kakulangan ng decorum on both P-Noy and that stockbroker…Hmmm…stockbroker…hmmm…sayang connections…Hulaan na lang up to when magtatagal. Between P-Noy’s arrival from the U.S. trip…break-up daw k Shalani, and 3 different girls in a row in a period of 3 months. He’s 50 years old…Hay!!! Work mode nga muna siya. He had 20-30 years behind him to have spent finding the right woman for him. Sabi ng inner circle niya, talagang ganyan daw si P-Noy, never serious in any relationship. Pa-fling-fling lang. Puwes, magtrabaho muna siya ngayon at asikasuhin ulit ang fling-fling after his presidency.

28 12 2010
wang

first! yipppeeehhhh…

28 12 2010
promdi

MMFF Awards list, fine-tuned? ewaaan! sinu-sino bang nag-fine tune? tanong ko lang. bakit hindi nominated man lang ang ilang obviously good ang papel sa ilang winning films? kasi kailangan top 3 lang daw sa botohan ng mga sino? Kaloka!

28 12 2010
promdi

HI, PH, HABOL KA PA NANG HABOL SA NEW YEAR HA?! sabagay, this is that part of year wherein a lot of “miracles” happen, and we know we and you have to be watching. Anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 TO YOU PH, and to all the other prolific suki hecklers of this blog!

28 12 2010
Pokerface

Nice one ph, kahit man lang sa heckling eh nakakabawi tayo sa mga politicians….of course dahil yan sa talent mo…..best of luck sa 2011, continue to make us laugh :)

28 12 2010
manay_ichu

mas guwapo kaysa Rico E. Puno hahaha.
Happy New Year PH

29 12 2010
FightingLeftOvary

Kahit malungkot ako ngayon dahil nalaman ko lang kahapon na pumanaw na isang kaibigan ko nung Pasko, enjoy ako sa mga posts mo. Masaya ka basahin. Walang kakupas-kupas. Palagi kong pino-post sa FB wall ko mga blogs mo para ma-share ko with friends. Sana hindi mawala ang humor. Magaling ka kasi rumesbak sa politics at mga politikong walang kakwenta-kwenta. Salamat. Malignong, este, Manigong Bagong Taon! :)

29 12 2010
Maxlip

Happy New Year PH!!
Magsusulat ka rin ba bukas? Hehehe. Demanding much…

29 12 2010
Paul

The survey result shows that the CPP has lost all its moral force. To many of us it is just gang of bandits and extortionists who flagrantly violate all international conventions including on use of child soldiers. Lowly cadres take the bullet as Joma Sison is partying in Europe

30 12 2010
esa

May his (Joma’s) tribe decrease or at best, disappear!

29 12 2010
the watcher

panalo as usual. on mmda handline the mmff yun palang joke na eh. jejeje.

29 12 2010
king

nyahahaha tambak na naman ang lakers nyahahahaha…

30 12 2010
Jackass of All Trades

Willing Willie rivals the sakit sa tenga level of KA movies. :D

Torotot is dangerous for both kids and adults. Especially when you swallow. =))

30 12 2010
maliititik_O

subukan ko nga yung mga pelikula ni kris sa gabi ng putukan. with all my frustrations baja mas malakas pa sigaw ko sa inis kesa sa paputok…. joke lang krissy baby

30 12 2010
Rome

Who is the guy (in Barong with chinese collar) standing behind the President ? Ang taray ng bangs! hee hee

30 12 2010
esa

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO THE PROFESSIONAL HECKLER, MR> LOI REYES LANDICHO> KEEP IT COMING….AND MANY THANKS FOR A WONDERFUL 2010 THAT YOU BROUGHT TO YOUR FANS READING YOUR BLOG POSTINGS.

30 12 2010
esa

MR. LOI REYES LANDICHO, I MEAN. :-) Happy New Year Hijo!

30 12 2010
iroppoi

happy new year,ph!
happy new year den sa mga milyun-milyon
taga-hanga ni ph!!!

30 12 2010
Thel from Florida

Thank you very kindly for a whole year of brilliant posts! HAVE A HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR !! Bless your heart always.

30 12 2010
professionalheckler

Happy New Year!

3 01 2011
TOMADOR

Mga Lecheng komunistang yan…sana mawala na sila..wala naman nagagawang yang mga punyetang yan sa bansa natin. BWISET! F U COMMUNISTS!!!!

In Fairness, maganda ang intention ng MMFF. It gives some relief to the local movie industry to strut their stuff, UNFORTUNATELY the movie makers and producers are not keen on improving the QUALITY of their production. Maka ilang shake rattle and roll, tanging ina, enteng kabisote pa ba ang kailangan nila ipalabas??? walang ka kwenta kwenta..isama mo na din dyan..father jejemon?? WTF!!! The only movie IMO worthy of a watch is Rosario as far as the feedback of other movie buffs are concerned

4 01 2011
Anonymous

ay ang cute ng cheezy quote!!! lol pa share sa FB! i’ll acknowledge you poromise hehehe… di naman ako SC Justice eh. hehehee

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