DENIALS

22 09 2010

BREAKING NEWS: Charo Santos has canceled her plan to feature the life story of DILG Undersecretary Enrico Puno on the next episode of “Maalaala Mo Kaya.” The creative team is having a hard time drafting the script because, apparently, walang maalaala si Usec Puno.


The Senate Hearing
In Tuesday’s Senate hearing, DILG Undersecretary Enrico Puno failed to identify the jueteng emissaries (some of whom were even his “friends”) who approached him saying he couldn’t remember any of their names. For the next hearing, the Senate plans to invite a doctor to determine if jueteng can cause amnesia.

Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz named DILG Undersecretary Enrico Puno as one of the “ultimate recipients” of jueteng payola, allegedly receiving as much as 8 million pesos a month. Sought for comment, Puno said he couldn’t remember if he got 8 million pesos or less, or if he even got any.

Amid calls for his resignation, Undersecretary Puno told reporters, “Wala pa naman akong ginagawang mali.” Well, wala ka pa ring ginagawang tama!

For those who missed Tuesday’s Senate hearing, here are some excerpts:

Senator Enrile: Sinu-sino ang mga lumapit sa ‘yo na nagtangkang makipag-set ng appointment?
Usec Puno: In passing lang naman po ang pagbanggit nila. Pero wala pong direktang pag-uusap tungkol sa jueteng.
Senator Enrile: Kaya nga! Name names!
Usec Puno: Sa sobrang dami nga po, wala na akong maalala. Basta, sobrang dami nila.

Senator Legarda: Sabi mo kanina, friends mo sila. So dapat kilala mo. Gusto naming malaman, sinu-sino sila?
Usec Puno: Actually, friends ko lang po sila sa Facebook kaya hindi ko na maalala ang mga pangalan. Talaga pong napakarami nila.
Senator Enrile: Sinu-sinong jueteng operators ang nagpadala ng emisaryo sa ‘yo?
Usec Puno: Ang dami kasi nila. Wala na rin po akong maalala.
Senator Enrile: Nakakapikon ka na! Kung cross-examination ito, talo ka na. Ako, lawyer ako. Ikaw lawyer ka ba?
Usec Puno: Hindi po. Ako po’y isang farmer.
Senator Enrile: Okay. Sige. Ito na lang ang tanong ko: anu-anong mga halaman na ang naitanim mo?
Usec Puno: Naku, sobrang dami na po. Hindi ko na maalala.
Senator Legarda: Kahit isang uri ng halaman, hindi mo na matandaan?
Usec Puno: ‘Yon nga po eh. Napakarami po nila. Talagang ‘di ko na maalala.
Senator Enrile: Sabi mo sa ANC, very close ka sa ating Pangulo at ikaw ang hingahan niya ng problema. Ang tanong ko: bakit ‘di ka kasama ni Pangulong Aquino sa Amerika?
Usec Puno: Sino po ‘yon? ‘Di ko na siya maalala.
Senator Enrile: Usec Puno, I’m reminding you that you are under oath!
Usec Puno: Talaga po?? Sorry, ‘di ko naalala.
Session Suspended.
End of transcript.


More Revelations
According to Archbishop Cruz’ report on jueteng, DILG Undersecretary Rico Puno, former PNP Chief Jesus Versoza, and retired Senior Supt. Rey Cachuela were collectively known as the “Three Kings” – which was really ironic because they’re the ones who receive gifts.

Jueteng-free?
Pampanga Governor Lilia Pineda, wife of jueteng lord Bong Pineda claims there is no jueteng in her province. This woman has a future in comedy. To say that there’s no jueteng in Pampanga is like saying there’s no Mayon Volcano in Albay.


Pangasinan Governor Amado Espino Jr., Baguio City Mayor Mauricio Domogan, and Isabela Rep. Paul Dy who were also identified by Archbishop Cruz as jueteng operators all denied the allegation and insisted that there’s no jueteng in their respective areas. Oo na! Sige na! Maniniwala na kami. Hindi totoo ang jueteng. Gawa-gawa lamang ito. Kathang-isip. Isang ilusyon. Bunga ng malikot na imahinasyon! Kabalintunaan! Walang jueteng! Wala! O, masaya na kayo?

Tony Boy’s Request
Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz revealed that four days before the hearing, President Aquino’s second cousin, businessman Antonio “Tony Boy” Cojuangco told him to “go easy” on his jueteng exposé. The archbishop said he didn’t promise to accede to Cojuangco’s request. Instead, he advised Tony Boy to tell his partner Gretchen Barretto to “go easy” on Botox.

Postscript: Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz has denied rumors that before senators were given a copy of his report on jueteng, a copy was submitted first to the Chinese Embassy.


The IIRC Report
Malacañang did not release the full report of the Incident Investigation and Review Committee on the August 23 hostage crisis. But anyone who wants to have a copy of the complete report may personally go to Malacañang. Just present a Chinese passport.

The IIRC recommended the filing of charges against DILG undersecretary Enrico Puno for mishandling the August 23 hostage crisis. Sought for reaction, Puno said, “Hostage crisis? Kelan ‘yon?”


Did you see Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim’s outburst on TV? That was classic. Apparently, the mayor has learned a lot from his vice mayor.

Defending his deputy, Mayor Lim said, “Ang pakiusap ko lang ho, alisin n’yo na lang si Vice Mayor Isko Moreno sa idedemanda. Ako na lang ho ang idemanda n’yo.” Reacting to Lim’s statement, Moreno said, “Kapag nakulong siya, magpapakulong din ako. Magsama na lang kami sa oblo (loob).” At that moment, the blood pressure of Manila’s No. 1 councilor shot up due to excitement.

On Mayor Lim’s statement, Vice Mayor Isko Moreno said, “Kapag nakulong siya, magpapakulong din ako. Magsama na lang kami sa oblo (loob).” Dahil dyan, may nag-texxxxxt! “Akala ko ba ako lang?! Hmpf! – Kuya Germs.”

In a press conference Tuesday, a very emotional Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim contested the report of the IIRC that conducted an investigation into the August 23 hostage incident. But before members of the press could ask some questions, Lim excused himself and said, “Hindi pa kasi ako nagla-lunch.”
———————————-
“Gambling is the son of avarice and the father of despair.”
– French Proverb

Survey Says
Sa inyong palagay, matitigil kaya ang jueteng sa ilalim ng administrasyong Aquino?
– Oo naman. Political will lang ang kailangan. 15.59%
– Imposible! Sus, asa pa! 56.44%
– Legalize it na lang! 27.97%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

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74 responses

22 09 2010
mel

i think it would have been better if USec Puno just kept quiet… It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt – quote

22 09 2010
maki

classic!

22 09 2010
derdo

“Amid calls for his resignation, Undersecretary Puno told reporters, `Wala pa naman akong ginagawang mali.’ Well, wala ka pa ring ginagawang tama!” – haha. Applies to some others, no?

22 09 2010
Jane

I want to name names wag nalang. :))

27 09 2010
eddibumangon

Jane, hwag ka nang mahiya. Tumbokin mo na na si Pnoy tukoy mo. Malay mo manalo ka pa sa jueteng. :-)

22 09 2010
Lola Nila

sa walang ma-ala2 si puno, eh. ano pa ba ang magagawa natin.. :D kya hirap si Lola Charing na igawa ito ng kwento sa ma-ala2 mo kaya…ba’t ndi na lang gawing magna cum laude si puno na naging dancer sa gaybar… dyan naman magaling si Lola Charing sa mga kwentong kutsero :D

22 09 2010
charesma

nakakaloka! lols

22 09 2010
waranabatokwa

haha.. this made my day.. pwede na ako matulog.. :D

22 09 2010
eddibumangon

Finally 1st!!!

…walang Mayon Volcano sa Bicol…

hahaha. i love all but this especially. :-)

23 09 2010
etchosera

Naku Koya Eddi, totoo nga po yun na walang Mayon Volcano sa Bicol!

eto sabi ni PH, “To say that there’s no jueteng in Pampanga is like saying there’s no Mayon Volcano in Albay.”

IN ALBAY! uulitin ko…. IN ALBAY!

Time to consult your optometrist! May tagas na ang imong pandinig!

24 09 2010
eddibumangon

hahaha. akala ko iisang probinsya lang ang bicol at albay. :-(

26 09 2010
patawa

@ eddibumangon: Ang Bicol ay Region kung saan part ang Albay. So may Mayon nga sa Bicol. hehehe!

@ etchosera: Kelan pa naging doctor sa pandinig ang optometrist???

26 09 2010
eddibumangon

@patawa: salamat sa iyong paliwanag, tama din pala ako. nga pala, nagpapatawa lang yang si etchos, paraprosdokian ‘ata tawag sa style niya. pero hintayin mo lang at babanatan ka rin nyan. :-)

26 09 2010
etchosera

Ayan Koya Eddi, may-i-exflen tuloy ang lola patawa!

Nawyonu.

27 09 2010
eddibumangon

yes etchos. now i know that albay is a province in the bicol region, and that mayon volcano is in albay and not in bicol. mali pala si PH, sabi nya kasi walang mayon volcano sa albay. ;-)

22 09 2010
roch

hooray! XD

22 09 2010
marklester

nice one….dito din s batangas me jueteng, d b kasama s expose un…..

22 09 2010
achu

kapal nman ng mukha ni puno. inamin pa niya na madami yung lumalapit sa kanya. d nman cguro cla lalapit basta-basta kung alam ng mga jueteng operators na wlng aasahan sa kanya…tsk tsk

22 09 2010
jana

professional heckler, you just made my day (again!)… :-)

22 09 2010
ali

i was waiting for USEC Puno to say “na’san ako….?…sino kayo….?..sino ako….?wla akong maalala!!!!”wheeew..it made my day..thank you PH..

22 09 2010
Kiko

no jokes about the stupid plan of noynoy to create another review committee to review the findings of his first review committee?

25 09 2010
BAROK

nyahahaha!

22 09 2010
notchfilter

putulin na ang punong yan!

22 09 2010
attyarj

Dang! I’m not chinese! So, i guess no IIRC report for me.
Pero in fairness, ang gwapo ni Vice Mayor Isko. Boss Vice, yung rice subsidy ko nga pala, pa-follow up. Pwede paki-release bago ka sumama sa oblo kay Mayor Lim =)

22 09 2010
exboywonder

oscar cruz’s accusations are all hearsay. sinisiraan na kagad nya yun tao pero wala pang ebidensya. anyone can do that. the only difference is he has somehow some command of the media kaya nagiging big deal. kawawa din yun mga naaaccuse kasi they have to defend themselves sa tsismis.

23 09 2010
etchosera

Naku naman exboywondergirl, bakit naman kawawa?

Sige, gives mo rin ako ng 8M a month, kahit araw araw, gabi gabi (by Didith Reyes) mo akong akusahan, okey lang…… pramis!

26 09 2010
Mousmous

Asus naman, hearsay kamo? Maling akala yan!

Totoo sabi ni ph na to say there’s no jueteng in pampanga is like saying there’s no mayon volcano in albay.

Ilang mga kamag-anak ko ang naging kubrador ng jueteng dun kaya hindi ako nananaginip kapag naribig kong buhay na buhay ang jueteng dun!

Isa pa, Hindi ilalaglag ng mga kapampangan ang jueteng lord dun dahil takbuhan din nila si bong at lilia pineda kapag kelangan ng mga tao dun ng financial assistance.

22 09 2010
Lawrence_Patola

Si Isko ba at si Kuya Germs?

23 09 2010
etchosera

Mr. Lawrence Olivier Gourd, kelan ka ba ipinanganak ng Ate mo, ha?

OO, si Isko at si Kuya Germs nga………… ay MAGLOLO!

Di pa ba obyus sa apelyido nila? Yun lang, di mo pa ma-gets?

Next time, try mo naman magtali-talinuhan kagaya ko, okey?

Ahihihihihihi!

22 09 2010
Lawrence_Patola

Ang boboplaks kasi ng mga taga-Isabela. Nakatakas na nga sa mga Dy, nagpa- hostage na naman!

23 09 2010
etchosera

Sabihin mo sa kanila, try din nilang magtali-talinuhan! Try lang kamo!

Wag lang kamo nilang seryosohin, okey?

22 09 2010
Lawrence_Patola

Tingnan nyo yung mukha ni Lilia Pineda sa picture… ang tigas na makintab ang balat…parang marmol!

22 09 2010
kaye

LOL @ going easy on botox. Come to think of it, may nakakagalaw pa ba sa muka ni La Greta?

at si USec Puno, in fairness, consistent…consistent ang pagkakaron niya ng alzheimer’s. Hehehe.

23 09 2010
etchosera

Ayyyyyy! Botox? Ako din! Ako din!

Sabi kasi nila, bagay sa akin ang tight fitting Levis Jeans kasi…….

ANG GANDA GANDA DAW NG BOTOX KO!

Sila maysabi nun, ha?

24 09 2010
kaye

ahahahah! botox pala ha… makapag levi’s fitting jeans din nga. ;-)

22 09 2010
shaoie

hmmm.. ano nga ba cocomment ko??? DI KO MAALALA… :)

23 09 2010
etchosera

Aylaykette!

22 09 2010
Wilfred

tawa ako ng tawa dito! hahaha, ang sweet talaga nina mayor lim and isko. parang love team lang.

and by the way, im still proud to be Kapampangan, though hindi ko idedeny yung jueteng allegations dyan. hehe

22 09 2010
Sheila

Hahahha dapat na talaga mag resign si Puno!

Kaso baka di na rin niya maalala paano gumawa ng resignation letter!

22 09 2010
jde0218

I think sasama din sa loob si Kuya Germs :)

22 09 2010
Eagle_Eye

The more Usec Puno opens his mouth, the more he looks stupid in the eyes of the public. It would been better if he made this never ending line for every query ” I have the right to remain silent your honor”

Blahhhh

22 09 2010
chumitasaurus

masyado nman protective sa friends si usec puno..loyal. :)))

22 09 2010
RAVJ

kaw ba naman ang magkamal ng PHP 8M a month, ewan ko lang kung di ka maging protective sa benefactors, este, sa friends mo.

Too bad for Aquino III, ang source pala nga alingasaw eh right under his nose… or baka naman immuned na sya sa amoy ng shooting buddy nya kaya di nya namalayan…

23 09 2010
boongaii

Sobrang insulto naman sa ating lahat yang si Puno na yan. Ganun ba tayo ka-mangmang sa tingin nya? Hanep!

23 09 2010
etchosera

correction daw ‘Teh……. sayo lang daw siya nakatingin, sabi ni Tree!

Ahihihihihihi!

23 09 2010
boongaii

uhmm… i doubt it. kasi kung sa akin sya nakatingin baka di lang memory loss ang abutin nya sa sobrang bomalabs nya. hehehe…

24 09 2010
Paul

Ask PNoy. He planted this tree in the government reflecting the quality of his judgement

23 09 2010
TOMADOR

kahit sinong presidente…basta may puno..may problema tsk tsk tsk

natawa ako dun sa may nag text…from kuya germs…boytoy nga pala nya si isko dati lol

tigas ng mukha ni lilia pineda…wala daw jueteng sa pampanga? jueteng capital of the Philippines ang Pampanga noh!

Isa pa yan si Espino….sinungaling amp!

23 09 2010
maxlip

PH, Thanks for the post. Btw, how is Usec Puno related to former DILG Sec. Ronnie Puno? Bakit laging may puno sa bawat administrasyon, di naman namumunga…

23 09 2010
professionalheckler

he admitted that they’re related. he even said, “lahat ng puno ay related.”

23 09 2010
maxlip

thanks ph. no wonder miriam santiago is on fire again. parang ayaw yata sya tigilan ng mga puno.

25 09 2010
etchosera

Totoo ba ito, maxlip? Nasunog na naman si Senator Miriam?

Eh bakit wala sa news?

23 09 2010
miketest

Pnoy: brad iba amoy mo ah….
Usec Puno: talaga? bakit bro?
Pnoy: basta parang iba e.. parang amoy tinapay ka..
Usec Puno: talaga? anong tinapay?
Pnoy: Putok…hehee..

23 09 2010
senior60

mister heckler, you must have volumes of books

of proverbs and quotations, galing talaga, bawat

topic may appropriate quotes…

23 09 2010
iroppoi

classmates kc sila ni pnoy…
sa sped!!!

23 09 2010
Vicky L.D.

U had it agen PH! 1st sentence pa lang nwala na migraine ko. ang nakakatakot kay usec Puno bka bgla na lang maisip na nsa shooting range sya at itarget si Pnoy. kawawa nman si Shalani.
PH proud ako to be a Kapampangan pero di ako proud sabihing talagang talamak jueteng sa Pampanga. Kung si usec Puno ngkaron ng alzheimer’s, bka ang prov’l moder namin ay lumabo mata. mas mahirap makakita ang nagbubulag-bulagan ksa sa talagang bulag at mahirap din makarinig ang nagbibingihan ksa sa talagang bingi.

23 09 2010
ranjit

panalo na nman PH!

23 09 2010
professionalheckler

is your surname shahani? just kidding.

23 09 2010
Sir MJ

walang jueteng sa Pampanga —> byuda na ba si Lilia Pineda? hehehe!

23 09 2010
ovalboy

They’rrrrrrreeeeee bacccckkkk!!! Kamaganak Inc. are here to stay. 100 million pala ang campaign contribution ni Tonyboy. So 100 million divided by 8 million per month equals 12.5 months.
Mga kababayan ko… pagbigyan na natin si Tonyboy… isang taon lang naman eh bawi na nya ang investment nya (yan ay kung di sya hihingi ng tubo).
Senior 60, kahit murahin mo ako ngayon dahil ibinoto ko si PNoy eh payag na ako.
Tama ka senior 60. Tama ka.

24 09 2010
maxlip

Yung iba hindi na sumisipot dito. Naliligaw yata sa sobrang tuwid ng daan, di alam saan patungo.

26 09 2010
eddibumangon

Nandito lang sila, kaya lang di nila kaya mag “I am sorry” sa pagboto nila sa incompetent na pang-gulo.

24 09 2010
niknok

Oo na! Sige na! Maniniwala na kami. Hindi totoo ang jueteng. Gawa-gawa lamang ito. Kathang-isip. Isang ilusyon. Bunga ng malikot na imahinasyon! Kabalintunaan! Walang jueteng! Wala!

–HAHAHAHA!! Nice one PH! :)

24 09 2010
heck626

PH galing mo talaga. bago lang ako nagbabasa ng site mo, kaya minsan di ko makuha agad ang humor lalo pag di ako updated sa balita; buti na lang laging buntot ang tira mo sa balitang totoong nangyari. at marami sa commentors mga matinik na hecklers din.

25 09 2010
BAROK

Feel sorry for mayor lim…but justice should have a blind eye regardless of what your stature in society.

25 09 2010
mang cruz

Tutoo po bang di na matutuloy ang pag-resign ni Puno? Inako na raw po ni PNoy ang kasalanan ni Puno? Tutoo po ba ito? Tutoo po ba?

25 09 2010
Jenny

hahaha…daig pa niya ang may amnesia ah
this is so funny, he should have keep his mouth shut or postpone muna ang senate’s hearing until he can remember and name names to those who are involved

25 09 2010
RLTJ

ibig mong sabihin may amnesya ang Usec? My gosh. :-)

25 09 2010
kate

PH . . . may picture ka ba ni Senior supt Rey Cachuela . . . he’s our neighbor di ko lang alam kung sya ba yung kasama sa 3 jueteng kings

26 09 2010
promdi

ha ha ha! walang jueteng, walaaaa! ako nga pala si sisa. ako’y may dalawang anak; si basilio at si crispin… subalit… madilim, wala talagang jueteng, dito po sa ameeen! ha ha ha!

26 09 2010
senior60

uuyyy ovalboy saan ka ba galing, mukhang naalimpungatan ka yata

galing sa mahimbing na tulog wake up wake up hahaha

pero bakit nga ba napasama si, sino ba yon? yong bf ni gretchen?

ah oo nga pala, dahil sa campaign contribution, bayad-utang ba….

27 09 2010
eddibumangon

Puna ko lang senior, laging naliligaw comment mo. Hit mo kasi muna ang reply para naka-ayos ang wake up call mo. :-)

27 09 2010
etchosera

Naku Koya Eddi, ganyan na talaga ang lolo, pag walang umaakay sa kanya eh kung saan saan napupunta.

Pasalamat na lang tayo at kahit ganyan na yan eh maayos pa naman ang pag-iisip……. kita mo, ang lakas lakas pa rin sa chikahan….. kaya keri na!

27 09 2010
rltjs

People have the right to remain silent. I think Usec Puno should be digged in on some of the things he uttered out.

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