President Noynoy Aquino has officially announced the appointment of former Naga City Mayor Jesse Robredo as secretary of the Department of Interior and Local Government. Just so you know, the choice of Robredo for DILG was correctly predicted by Paul the octopus.
Top 10 Messages Left on Vice President Jejomar Binay’s Answering Machine
No. 10: “Hello Jojo and hi to your family! This is Mar. So ngayon, alam n’yo na ang feeling ng isang taong ‘di nakuha ang gusto? Ramdam ko kayo.”
No. 9: “Hi Jojo! si Koring ‘to. You know what I’m saying? Happy shalala It’s so nice to be happy shalalala Everybody should be happy shalala It’s so nice to be happy.”
No. 8: “Hi Mr. Vice President, Conrado De Quiros here. The Hyatt 10, the Firm, and the Liberal Party succeeded against you this time. The battle between good and evil continues. May Noynoy’s force be with you.”
No. 7: “Ginoong Pangalawang Pangulo, si Kabayan ‘to. Maiba nga pala ako. Balita ko rerentahan mo ang Coconut Palace. Bakit ka mangungupahan pa kung kaya namang magkabahay na!?”
No. 6: “Hi Jojo, Koring here again. ‘Tanong ko lang: ano nga bang title ng song na ‘to? And I don’t know how I know it / But I know it somehow/ You’re the answer to the questions/ No one’s answered till now.”
No. 5: “You know who I am, you sonofabitch! Kahit VP ka na, dalawang klase pa rin ang taong may kalyo. Ang isa ay manggagawa: nasa kamay ang kalyo. Ang ikalawa ay ikaw: ang kalyo ay nasa kunsensya! Basta si Mar Roxas, walang kalyo ang kunsensya.”
No. 4: “Inday, si Sir Jojo mo ‘to. Mamaya pa ‘ko uuwi. Kapag tumawag nga pala ‘yung mag-asawang taga-Cubao na sobrang bitter dahil natalo ko sila noong eleksyon, sabihin mo, they can go to hell. Hell ‘yun Inday, hindi hill. Ayusin mo ang pagsasalita para mas matindi, okay?”
No. 3: “Hi Manong! Chiz here. ‘Di man napunta sa ‘yo ang DILG, kakayanin pa rin natin ‘to. Basta sa 2016, Binay-Escudero!”
No. 2: “Hi Jojo, guess who! Hahaha! Taaama! Si Koring nga! Huwag kaligtaang panoorin ngayong Linggo, ang Rated K… with my special guest, ang hinahangaan, iginagalang, minamahal, tinitingala, walang ambisyong maging pangulo ng bansa, hindi nangungurakot, hindi gahaman sa kapangyarihan, at hindi kailanman nakasuhan ng pandarambong, ang bagong kalihim ng DILG Jesse Robredo! Rated K after Goin’ Bulilit. Handa na ba kayo?”
And the No. 1 message left on Vice President Jejomar Binay’s answering machine…
“Hello Jojo, Hi Mrs. Binay, ‘Musta Mayor Junjun… si Noynoy nga pala ‘to. Kayo ba ay nagtiis na sa trapiko para lamang masingitan ng isang naghahari-hariang de-wangwang sa kalsada? Kami rin.”
In Other News…
Former ABS-CBN reporter & ANC anchor Ramon ‘Ricky’ Carandang, and ANC host Manuel L. Quezon III are now officially part of the Aquino administration’s communications group. NBN 4, RPN 9 and IBC 13 are holding a party to welcome their newest sister station, ABS-CBN/ANC! Yehey!
ABS-CBN reporter and ANC anchor Ramon ‘Ricky’ Carandang (who resigned last Friday) will head the government’s communications group. To GMA News, isang malaking good luck!
NBA star LeBron James has abandoned his team, the Cleveland Cavaliers in favor of the Miami Heat saying he wanted to win. If LeBron were Filipino, he wouldn’t be in a basketball court; he’d be in politics.
LeBron James has just announced he’s signing a contract with Spain… just to experience being a champion. Congratulations Spain for winning the 2010 FIFA World Cup. You may colonize us again (for a week). Wohoo!
“It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life.”
Dapat bang gawing state witness si former Agriculture Sec. Cito Lorenzo sa gagawing probe sa fertilizer fund scam?
Sure, why not? 43.5%
Hindi! Ano siya, sinuswerte? 47.4%
Wala akong alam sa isyu. 9.1%
We have a new survey. Please vote now.
Congratulations and good luck Ricky Carandang on your new job. The Professional Heckler will try to be ‘nice’ – susubukan ko. Ha-ha! And please, keep tweeting!
The Who: Rated PG
One time, newsperson Kenya Romania went out on a gimmick with friends in a Manila district frequented by men who usually describe themselves as “bi” or “straight-acting.” There, he met another guy who was also “looking for some fun.” And so they decided to spend the night together. The next day, the guy was heard “complaining’ to a friend saying he got “really hurt” the night before because newsperson Kenya Romania was “extraordinary.” Unknown to the guy, newsperson Kenya Romania has always been the topic of ‘not-so-straight’ conversations in and out of the newsroom for being the network’s William Hung. Others even refer to him as “Totoy Mola.” As one of his colleagues once said, “Men come in three sizes: small, medium, and Kenya Romania. Tandaan mo ang sinabi ko!”
Have a safe week ahead!