CONDOLENCES to Vice President Jejomar Binay. We’re terribly sorry for his loss. The DILG portfolio wasn’t just for him.
President Noynoy Aquino has officially announced the appointment of former Naga City Mayor Jesse Robredo as secretary of the Department of Interior and Local Government. Just so you know, the choice of Robredo for DILG was correctly predicted by Paul the octopus.
Top 10 Messages Left on Vice President Jejomar Binay’s Answering Machine
No. 10: “Hello Jojo and hi to your family! This is Mar. So ngayon, alam n’yo na ang feeling ng isang taong ‘di nakuha ang gusto? Ramdam ko kayo.”
No. 9: “Hi Jojo! si Koring ‘to. You know what I’m saying? Happy shalala It’s so nice to be happy shalalala Everybody should be happy shalala It’s so nice to be happy.”
No. 8: “Hi Mr. Vice President, Conrado De Quiros here. The Hyatt 10, the Firm, and the Liberal Party succeeded against you this time. The battle between good and evil continues. May Noynoy’s force be with you.”
No. 7: “Ginoong Pangalawang Pangulo, si Kabayan ‘to. Maiba nga pala ako. Balita ko rerentahan mo ang Coconut Palace. Bakit ka mangungupahan pa kung kaya namang magkabahay na!?”
No. 6: “Hi Jojo, Koring here again. ‘Tanong ko lang: ano nga bang title ng song na ‘to? And I don’t know how I know it / But I know it somehow/ You’re the answer to the questions/ No one’s answered till now.”
No. 5: “You know who I am, you sonofabitch! Kahit VP ka na, dalawang klase pa rin ang taong may kalyo. Ang isa ay manggagawa: nasa kamay ang kalyo. Ang ikalawa ay ikaw: ang kalyo ay nasa kunsensya! Basta si Mar Roxas, walang kalyo ang kunsensya.”
No. 4: “Inday, si Sir Jojo mo ‘to. Mamaya pa ‘ko uuwi. Kapag tumawag nga pala ‘yung mag-asawang taga-Cubao na sobrang bitter dahil natalo ko sila noong eleksyon, sabihin mo, they can go to hell. Hell ‘yun Inday, hindi hill. Ayusin mo ang pagsasalita para mas matindi, okay?”
No. 3: “Hi Manong! Chiz here. ‘Di man napunta sa ‘yo ang DILG, kakayanin pa rin natin ‘to. Basta sa 2016, Binay-Escudero!”
No. 2: “Hi Jojo, guess who! Hahaha! Taaama! Si Koring nga! Huwag kaligtaang panoorin ngayong Linggo, ang Rated K… with my special guest, ang hinahangaan, iginagalang, minamahal, tinitingala, walang ambisyong maging pangulo ng bansa, hindi nangungurakot, hindi gahaman sa kapangyarihan, at hindi kailanman nakasuhan ng pandarambong, ang bagong kalihim ng DILG Jesse Robredo! Rated K after Goin’ Bulilit. Handa na ba kayo?”
And the No. 1 message left on Vice President Jejomar Binay’s answering machine…
“Hello Jojo, Hi Mrs. Binay, ‘Musta Mayor Junjun… si Noynoy nga pala ‘to. Kayo ba ay nagtiis na sa trapiko para lamang masingitan ng isang naghahari-hariang de-wangwang sa kalsada? Kami rin.”
In Other News…
Former ABS-CBN reporter & ANC anchor Ramon ‘Ricky’ Carandang, and ANC host Manuel L. Quezon III are now officially part of the Aquino administration’s communications group. NBN 4, RPN 9 and IBC 13 are holding a party to welcome their newest sister station, ABS-CBN/ANC! Yehey!
ABS-CBN reporter and ANC anchor Ramon ‘Ricky’ Carandang (who resigned last Friday) will head the government’s communications group. To GMA News, isang malaking good luck!
In Sports…
NBA star LeBron James has abandoned his team, the Cleveland Cavaliers in favor of the Miami Heat saying he wanted to win. If LeBron were Filipino, he wouldn’t be in a basketball court; he’d be in politics.
Breaking News!
LeBron James has just announced he’s signing a contract with Spain… just to experience being a champion. Congratulations Spain for winning the 2010 FIFA World Cup. You may colonize us again (for a week). Wohoo!
——————–
“It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life.”
~Ben Stein
Survey Says
Dapat bang gawing state witness si former Agriculture Sec. Cito Lorenzo sa gagawing probe sa fertilizer fund scam?
Sure, why not? 43.5%
Hindi! Ano siya, sinuswerte? 47.4%
Wala akong alam sa isyu. 9.1%
We have a new survey. Please vote now.
Personal
Congratulations and good luck Ricky Carandang on your new job. The Professional Heckler will try to be ‘nice’ – susubukan ko. Ha-ha! And please, keep tweeting!
The Who: Rated PG
One time, newsperson Kenya Romania went out on a gimmick with friends in a Manila district frequented by men who usually describe themselves as “bi” or “straight-acting.” There, he met another guy who was also “looking for some fun.” And so they decided to spend the night together. The next day, the guy was heard “complaining’ to a friend saying he got “really hurt” the night before because newsperson Kenya Romania was “extraordinary.” Unknown to the guy, newsperson Kenya Romania has always been the topic of ‘not-so-straight’ conversations in and out of the newsroom for being the network’s William Hung. Others even refer to him as “Totoy Mola.” As one of his colleagues once said, “Men come in three sizes: small, medium, and Kenya Romania. Tandaan mo ang sinabi ko!”
Have a safe week ahead!
oooh da who si Kenya Romania? Matanong nga sa mga “nakakaalam”. har3x
PH galing ng Top Ten!!!
Oh my God!
da who: pinanganak bang mabangis yan?
is he from Kapuso or Kapamilya or Kapatid? Clue naman PH
No. 7 Ginoong Pangalawang Pangulo, si Kabayan ‘to. Maiba nga pala ako. Balita ko rerentahan mo ang Coconut Palace. Bakit ka mangungupahan pa kung kaya namang magkabahay na!?” — baka naman mamaya patayo na ng sariling palasyo si Vnay. lol
Ayyyy! This time, interesado talaga ako sa “The Who”!
Sinetch itetch?
di naman si Alvin Elchico yan, hahaha
i don’t know anything about the new DILG Sec but his credentials seemed impressive.
GMA tv can rightfully declare ” walang kinikilingan”
Kenya Romania is —–?
ndi kaya si Ka Ricky (Lo)? echose lang!!!
ala sino si Kenya Romania?!
ahahahaha, hirap na naman
Parang alam ko na… sya ba ay isang produkto ng isang reality game show??
Ito rin hula ko. Tama ba kami Mr PH?
natawa na naman ako sa entry mo PH, i’ve been waiting for your latest post. salamat at dumating na! yahoo!
PH more clues please? =)
Ivan Marina?
“Ricky Karandang” ung tha who! Ang galing ko talaga.
so maliit pala ang dakota harrison hehehe, pinaka malaki si Kenya Romania! hahahaha
ang hirap hulaan ata nyan PH! hehehehe
haha anc sister station na ng mga government owned stations hehe
Ang kulit ng answering machine…
Panalo!!!
Ito na yata ang first “answering machine” Top 10 na hindi ko narinig ang “Hello friendshiiiip!” At least hindi iyon ang ginamit ni Noynoy na greeting, huh.
Also: “You know who I am, you sonofabitch!” WINNER.
naman!!!! more clues please PH. grabe nagising pagkababae ko! di kaya pamangkin ni vic sotto yan at apo ni dolphy? hehhehhe
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
binay-chiz for president and vice-president in 2016? hmmm. both will run. and so will jinggoy and bongbong and the whole kit and caboodle! abangan ang banggaan ng mga senatorial re-electionists sa 2013 — it will be a preview of the 2016 elections.
“NBA star LeBron James has abandoned his team, the Cleveland Cavaliers in favor of the Miami Heat saying he wanted to win. If LeBron were Filipino, he wouldn’t be in a basketball court; he’d be in politics.”
True, but if I were you I’d replace the statement with, “If Lebron was in the Philippines…” because there are notable politicians locally who are the opposite.
Ala ako idea sino si DA HU….nag hirap…
Kenya Romania = Kiko Rustia (Born to be Wild/Survivor)
ricky carandang is hot….is he married? how about manolo…hehehe.
PH ikaw kailan ka magiging media men ng palasyo? cover mo lagi ang mga “the who” sa malakanyang.
ang hirap naman ng guessing game
hiwalay si ricky sa kanyang wife, pero si ricky ngayon yata ang toy boy ni ces drillon…
correct ka diyan! paano na lang ang no bias ng malacanang niyan? may inside info si ces drilon..parating scoop!
nag-out na si manolo sometime ago
[...] Ignored CONDOLENCES to Vice President Jejomar Binay. We’re terribly sorry for his loss. The DILG portfolio wasn’t just for [...] [...]
sana kumuha rin ang malacanang ng tagakapuso o isa man lang tagakapatid para patas ang constitt ng comm team ni P-noy para belibabol ang kanyang…”walang padrino, walang panlalamang.. etc…” na procs speech. but on second thought, hwag na nga lang, baka magkarambulan pa sa newsroom… he he.
sana kumuha rin ang malakanyang ng tagakapuso at tagakapatid para patas ang constitt ng comm team ni P-noy… para “walang padrino… walang manlalamang…” but on second thought, hwag na nga lang… baka magkarambulan pa sa newsroom… gudluck na nga lang mga kafatid at kafuso!
ay mas okay pa kung i-assign ng anc/abs/cbn si ms. ces drilon as resident reporter sa malakanyang! omg! that will be monopoly plus, to the tenth power. o di bah!!?
di na kailangan si ces..andyan na boy toy niya. she can ask in the bedroom
on mayor jesse robredo: over and above everything else, he is a ramon magsaysay awardee. this alone make us all feel somehow confident and trusting. but then, we promdis have a saying: “makita ang isda sa batya”! gets nyo?
Manang Promdi, ano daw po ba ang gagawin ni jesse robredo sa batya?
lalagyan ng tilapia?
ok yan si Robredo, he’s quite capable… wag lang masabotahe…
ay darleng, yung saying namin sa probins… “makita ang isda sa batya…” is kinda fish already in the bag, ika nga. yung huli siya talaga at mapatutunayang hindi siya hazy o remote like in imagination, gaya ng fish na nasa karagatan pa at di pa nahuhuli… in other words…. to see, for real, is to believe, kind of….!
da who??? duda ko Rg Cruz..:)
I’m a Celtics fan but I’ve always thought that Kobe is the best NBA player in NBA today. Sometimes, I even think that he is at par with MJ.
Would like to share this:
When Magic GM Otis Smith cracked, “Is Kobe Bryant retiring?” a reporter joked he was joining the Heat. Smith then said, in a clear reference to LeBron James: “No, [Bryant] proved he can do it on his own. Oops! My bad!” Smith added, “I thought [James] was more of a competitor. The great ones usually stay in one location.”
Miami Herald
wohoo!
Come to think, dapat pa atang paimbestigahan si Lebron. Look at how he played during the championship round. E parang benta laro….
Ervin Ang — which are you replacing the “were” to “was”? If so, tama po ang “were” sa statement na ginamit. Re naman your belief that ” there are notable politicians locally who are the opposite” well, that’s exactly what PH meant. Balimbing.
Kiss_ass dramedy. — alam mo, kung ikaw di nag-eenjoy bumasa sa blog na to, bakeeeet ka nagtityaga? Halleeer? Maghanap ka ng ibang blog o gumawa ka ng iyo at pumirmi ka na dun! Tsupi!
Hanep ang Breaking News mo PH… “you may colonize us again (for a week)”
Congrats Spain!!!
parang alam ko tong da who… hmm, malaki din ba ang ilong ni Kenya Romania? hahaha! guys, wag nyo tantanan hanggat di nyo nahuhulaan ang da who, ok? hehe
Ayyyyyy! si Franklin Drilon ba? ILONGgo siya Toto!
kelan pa naging journalist c franklin drillon?
YESSSSSSSSSSS! i know who KENYA ROMANIA issssssssss! [ang sarap ng feeling pag nakahula ng blind item, LOL]
Ikaw po ba ang totoong si Ms Lynda Jumilla? parati akong nakikinig ng show niyo ni Alvin sa dzmm, at pi no promoto mo ‘tong blog na to. congrats sa “new” show. love your radio program!! love this blog!.
[with heckler's indulgence]
yes jay, ako ang totoo. thank you for listening to me and alvin on S.R.O. sa DZMM mondays to fridays, after TV Patrol. may plugging talaga.
Ayon kay Paul the Octopus, hahaba pa ang airtime ng programang ito. Soon!
hoi, lynda…yung kababayan mo raw na taga Davao…na dating news reporter ng kapamilya na naka-away ng asawa ni ate mar …. ay dyutay daw… sus, sayang..ka-gwapo na laki pero gamay…
complete na ba tauhan ni noynoy?
sila na ba ang the best and the brightest sa bansa?
sa dinamidami ng tao sa pilipinas, how many ba, more than
90 million of us, bakit dalawang ochoa at dalawang abad ang
nakapasok? wala ng ibang mas karapatdapat?
ayyy oo nga pala, it’s noynoy’s prerogative nga pala…
well, good luck to us….
senior60 – takbo ka bilang presidente sa 2016, mukhang magaling ka naman yatang magpalakad ng bansa kasi base sa mga sinasabi mo you can do so much better LOL, better alternative is present yourself kay Noynoy at mag apply for a cabinet position at magpakitang gilas ka, malay mo piliin ka nya because it is and always will be his prerogative and NOT YOURS! LOL
waaaa…. attack the message not themessenger, please. you’re getting personnal!!!!
Onga, senior, I agree with Tomador. At kung di ka palaring mapansin ni P-noy, balita ko nag-rerecruit ng gabinete si former DND sec. Gonzales sa shadow cabinet niya. Parang iisa pa lang yata ang miyembro niya, si Gen. Bangit. Kaya tiyak ko may lugar pa sa iyo dun. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
But joking aside, sa palagay mo ba, kung nanalo si Gibo mo, perpektong perpekto as in, ang mga magiging desisyon niya as president? Or lalong susuplayan ng armaments ang mga Ampatuan? Remember, yung mga nadiskubreng armas sa mansion nila Ampatuan ay may tatak na DND, which was under the watch of your idol at that time. Di ba nga pinuntahan pa niya si Mangundadatu para payuhan na mahirap makalaban ang mga Ampatuan? Anong klaseng DND sec. kaya ang ganun? Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha uli!
bitter pa din po? peace
PUEDE’NG IBOLONG NIYO NALANG SA AKIN KUNG SINO ITONG DA HU? AKO’Y NATUTULIRO NA SA KAKA-ISIP.. HAHAHAHA…
parang kinikilig si Lynda Jumilla a…….
anong kinilig lang, nag-water2 na nga..at i am sure basa ang kanyang pechay!!!
kaloka itong si lynda…
Ate Bell, bakit nga ba laging pechay ang monicker nyan?
di ba mas fitting ata eh …… durian?
Ahihihihihi!
another migraine for me prof…but you provide the best medicine too.
D ang first letter ng name ng newsperson na ito. TAMA ba PH?
Kenya Romania is Kobe Ryant!
hahaha ang dalawang warriors ni noynoy nagka agreehan….
dapat isa sa inyo napili din ni noynoy dahil isa ito sa mga
criteria for judging, ang nakatulong sa kanyang kampanya…
ako naman, papansinin kaya ako ni noynoy? bakit, ako ba
ay isang kakilala from way back? isang kapartido? naka
pagsilbi ba ako under ni cory? may na donate ba ako sa
kanyang kandidatura? naging magkaklase ba kami? may
gusto ba akong paboran na senador?
pero, sabi nga ng adage, there is no harm in trying daw
kaya, masubukan nga mag apply, how many palms, baka
palarin na mapasok sa prerogative ni noynoy hahaha
magpayo na rin doon sa mga tatakbo sa darating na halalan
2016, siguraduhin nyo lang na wala ni isa mang anak ni
ninoy at cory ang tatakbo or else alam nyo na….
ayyy ako pala sinabihan ni tomador na tumakbo, yun na nga,
sisiguraduhin ko na………..
ikaw naman religiousboy, naman naman, alam mo naman
na before gilbert came into the picture, panahon pa ni
kupongkupong, the ampatuans were already armed to the
teeth, ika nga, ano ka ba…
tungkol sa payo ni gilbert, depende, bakit, masama ba magpayo
na mag-ingat? hindi naman siguro ibig sabihin ni gilbert na
huwag kakandidato si mangundadato, but, yun na nga, ingat….
did mangundadatu heed gilbert’s payo? the rest is history….
hahaha. simply jess(i)e FTW!
@coach – im just heckling LOL…bago ka lang dito??? hahaha
@religiousboy – hayaan mo na si lolo..tulad din ni topdog yan..can’t let go and can’t accept na natalo (BIG TIME) ang manok nila LOL
The Who – Mark Salazar?
yehey papaalis na si basyang…..
of course coach alam na natin na pag namersonal na,
ibig lang sabihin noon, isang big time talo……
huwag mo ng idamay si topdog tomador, nanahimik na
yon, hindi katulad ninyo ni religiousboy, kambal-toko
ba kayo? hahaha
kung bakit kasi react ng react, bakit, hindi na ba ako
pwede mag comment? at anong comment gusto nyo,
purihin ko si noynoy? na napakabuting presidente dahil
hindi gumagamit ng wangwang? hindi nagka counter-
flow?
pero ito ha, ewan ko kung dapat ba syang purihin dito,
namigay sya kanina ng relief goods sa mga nasalanta
ni basyang kasama si woman with streak hair….
at bakit naman kaya hindi ko ma accept na natalo si
gilbert, bakit, kaanoano ko ba sya….
May nakahula na ng The Who. Take note of the way PH gives his clues and the way he names his characters. May clue na agad dun kung ano name nya.
By the way, I almost had an “encounter” with Kenya Romania years ago. Sayang pala, di kami natuloy. HEHEHE
hahahahahahhahaha!
tama ba ko? hehe
Ang hirap naman ng “The Who”… more clue naman jan….
Uy! Sa kuwento pa lang naman siguro alam niyo na kung sino si Kenya Romania….
Di ba,Sir Ricky Lo?
kenya is in africa. romania is in europe.
tama ba?
ph and lj: tawa ako ng tawa sa mga hula, nakakatuwa.
hahahahahhaaha! quiet na rin lang ako. bahala na sila.
ke arnold clavio o martin andanar man ang sabihin nila… na-ah. my lips are sealed. 
ikaw, j. francisco, ang higit na nakakaalam ng sagot. alam na ba ni heckler kung bakit? LOL!
hahahahhaah! ‘yan ang intriga!
just got home from my work and need to sleep but have to delay it a bit because all these hints & guesses for DA WHO has gotten me curious…
@bleukite: I don’t think tama yung hula mo. May ibang nakahulala.
@PH: Have you tried watching Juicy and Paparazzi’s blind item segments? RIOT! Giveaway na ang clues! HAHA!
Oh, by the way, sayang din nga at di kami natuloy ni Kenya Romania. Though I had an encounter w/ a colleague of KR. hehehe
kenya romania?
ah..eh…yun na..
makapunta nga ke belo at makapagpalaki ng ilong….:)
Kainggit naman si Kenya Romania…
Parang narinig ko na yung about dito. Si Mark Salazar yan. 80% sure. maybe not. haha.