ITO ANG SIMULA

President Noynoy Aquino’s Inaugural Speech:
Top 15 Rejected Opening Lines

No. 15: “I’d like to acknowledge the presence of my brother-in-law, James Yap. ‘Tol, kaya mo ‘yan!”

No. 14: “Now, for the most awaited part of my speech… drum roll please. And the DILG portfolio goes to…”

No. 13: “To all the girls I’ve loved before, ‘kala n’yo huh! Eat your hearts out!”

No. 12: “(Pssst! James! James! ‘Yun o! Third row, second from left. ‘Yung naka-sleeveless na yellow at white mini-skirt. Sexy! Kunin mo naman ‘yung number.)”

No. 11: “Gusto n’yo bang kumanta ako tonight sa street party? Gusto n’yo ba?! Wala akong marinig! Gusto n’yo bang kumanta ako tonight sa street party?!”

No. 10: “Hindi po totoong break na kami ni Shalani. Sa katunayan, nandito po siya ngayon. Ayun o! I love you Cupcake!”

No. 9: “Katulad po ng aking naipangako noong kampanya, pag-iisahin ko ang ating bayan. At bilang simula sa pagtupad sa pangakong ‘yan…. please welcome on stage, Sen. Manny Villar to draw the names of five lucky guests who shall win a house and lot each!”

No. 8: “I’d like to take this opportunity to clarify some things about the status of my lovelife. But first, thank you Kuya Noy for allowing me to speak here. You’re so bait talaga, promise.”

No. 7: “Opo, handang-handa na akong palaguin ang kita ng ating pamahalaan. Kayo po? Handa na ba kayo sa 15 percent na E-VAT?”

No. 6: “I’d like to thank Paul Cabral for my outfit and Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make up.”

No. 5: “Kasi naman eh! Bakit ‘di n’yo agad sinabing ‘No Smoking’ area ‘to?!?”

No. 4: “Everyone, your attention please! See that person beside Mar? Let me say this again. I did NOThave sexual relations with that woman!”

No. 3: “Mga kababayan… gusto n’yo bang magkabalikan sina Kris at James?”

No. 2: “Let’s have a roll call first. Hyatt 10? (Present!) The Firm? (Here!) Kamag-anak Incorporated? (Nandito! Kumpleto ulit!)”

And the No. 1 rejected opening line of Noynoy Aquino’s inaugural speech…

“Hello mic test, mic test?! Para sa ikakapanatag ng loob nating lahat: Team Roxas, please occupy the left side of the field. Team Binay, go to the right side. Thank you!”
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“Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between.”
~Alfred E. Neuman

Light Bites
Have you seen the Noynoy Aquino inauguration souvenir miniature dolls? I just heard the wife of a losing VP candidate has bought a dozen… plus a set of needles.

Survey Says…
If you were Chief Justice Renato Corona, would you attend Noynoy’s inauguration?
SURE, why not? 42%
NO, thanks. 47%
Let me think about it. 11%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
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