President Noynoy Aquino’s Inaugural Speech:
Top 15 Rejected Opening Lines
No. 15: “I’d like to acknowledge the presence of my brother-in-law, James Yap. ‘Tol, kaya mo ‘yan!”
No. 14: “Now, for the most awaited part of my speech… drum roll please. And the DILG portfolio goes to…”
No. 13: “To all the girls I’ve loved before, ‘kala n’yo huh! Eat your hearts out!”
No. 12: “(Pssst! James! James! ‘Yun o! Third row, second from left. ‘Yung naka-sleeveless na yellow at white mini-skirt. Sexy! Kunin mo naman ‘yung number.)”
No. 11: “Gusto n’yo bang kumanta ako tonight sa street party? Gusto n’yo ba?! Wala akong marinig! Gusto n’yo bang kumanta ako tonight sa street party?!”
No. 10: “Hindi po totoong break na kami ni Shalani. Sa katunayan, nandito po siya ngayon. Ayun o! I love you Cupcake!”
No. 9: “Katulad po ng aking naipangako noong kampanya, pag-iisahin ko ang ating bayan. At bilang simula sa pagtupad sa pangakong ‘yan…. please welcome on stage, Sen. Manny Villar to draw the names of five lucky guests who shall win a house and lot each!”
No. 8: “I’d like to take this opportunity to clarify some things about the status of my lovelife. But first, thank you Kuya Noy for allowing me to speak here. You’re so bait talaga, promise.”
No. 7: “Opo, handang-handa na akong palaguin ang kita ng ating pamahalaan. Kayo po? Handa na ba kayo sa 15 percent na E-VAT?”
No. 6: “I’d like to thank Paul Cabral for my outfit and Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make up.”
No. 5: “Kasi naman eh! Bakit ‘di n’yo agad sinabing ‘No Smoking’ area ‘to?!?”
No. 4: “Everyone, your attention please! See that person beside Mar? Let me say this again. I did NOThave sexual relations with that woman!”
No. 3: “Mga kababayan… gusto n’yo bang magkabalikan sina Kris at James?”
No. 2: “Let’s have a roll call first. Hyatt 10? (Present!) The Firm? (Here!) Kamag-anak Incorporated? (Nandito! Kumpleto ulit!)”
And the No. 1 rejected opening line of Noynoy Aquino’s inaugural speech…
“Hello mic test, mic test?! Para sa ikakapanatag ng loob nating lahat: Team Roxas, please occupy the left side of the field. Team Binay, go to the right side. Thank you!”
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“Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between.”
~Alfred E. Neuman
Light Bites
Have you seen the Noynoy Aquino inauguration souvenir miniature dolls? I just heard the wife of a losing VP candidate has bought a dozen… plus a set of needles.
Survey Says…
If you were Chief Justice Renato Corona, would you attend Noynoy’s inauguration?
SURE, why not? 42%
NO, thanks. 47%
Let me think about it. 11%
We have a new survey. Please vote now.
Personal
Catch Usapang De Campanilla with Alvin Elchico and Lynda Jumilla on dzMM, nightly@8.
Surprise Number
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FG’s Book
School and Pacman
Lecturers at the Development Academy of the Philippines plan to orient Jinkee Pacquiao on the role of a Congressional spouse. Jinkee, who joined Pacman at the DAP yesterday, was reportedly shocked when lecturers informed her that wives of congressmen have other things to do aside from shopping.
Net Worth
Noynoy’s Inauguration
Miss U 2008 in RP
Briefly Noted
The Who
World leaders continue to convey their congratulatory messages to President-elect Noynoy Aquino. Also on Wednesday night, Aquino got a call from Chinese President Hu Jintao… who informed him that China has just successfully tapped his conversation with Obama.
President-elect Noynoy Aquino received a call from South Korean President Lee Myung-bak too. President Lee thanked Aquino in advance for allowing half of the South Korean population to stay in the Philippines.
Jose Maria Sison’s Allegation
Stars In Government
1998: More than a million people in Sudan are facing starvation, prompting the United Nations to declare an official famine in the region. Consequently, the UN appoints as special ambassadresses to the region the Olsen sisters, Calista Flockhart, and Nicole Richie.
2002: Antonio Meucci is acknowledged as the first inventor of the telephone by the United States Congress to which Alexander Graham Bell’s stunned descendants said, “Meucci invented the telephone??? Hello!?!”
Ang Tweet Naman! 
Losing presidential reelectionist Joseph Estrada is reportedly writing a book about his life. This early, it is expected to top the list of best-selling Coloring Books.
Losing presidential reelectionist Joseph Estrada told ABS-CBN that he plans to write a book about his life and he’s going to call it “Memoirs: The Life and Loves of Erap.” The first page will be about his life; the rest, about his ‘loves.’
1888: Valerio Weyler assumes office as governor-general. He issues a decree prohibiting the use of any language or dialect, other than Spanish, in all education institutions in the country. Nonetheless, clever Filipinos managed to secretly plot against the Spaniards… by communicating in Jejenese. AnG TÄliN0H TaLâGA NG pInOy~ LOlz!
1898: Emilio Aguinaldo is visited by a promising and talented pianist and composer Julian Felipe, who is asked to play on the piano the ‘Himno de Balintawak,’ a musical composition that Aguinaldo has brought from Hong Kong. One of Aguinaldo’s men uploaded on YouTube the video of the youthful Felipe playing the piano. Two weeks later, he received an invitation to guest on Oprah.
1899: Bodyguards of General Emilio Aguinaldo assassinate General Antonio Luna in Cabanatuan, Nueva Ecija. A special investigating body would later absolve Aguinaldo and his men of the crime, and blame the assassination on a communist hit man.
1977: The first personal computer, the Apple II, goes on sale in the United States. Two days later, China markets a similar product for half its original price.
1982: Filipino actor 
1990: South African troops tried to plunder Nelson Mandela’s dwelling… but found it empty. Scribbled on the wall were these words: 
Noy Rests
CBCP & Cabral
The Who No. 1: A politico who lost in the May 10 polls was offered a job by a major network. But sources say he has declined the offer because losing politico feels that his “short stint” is just a form of “audition” – kapag nag-click, tatagal ka. kapag hindi, umalis ka. Also, he’s ‘friends’ with the person he’s supposed to replace. If ever he’ll accept the job, politico was quoted to have said “Dapat ‘yong TF ko, kapareho ng TF ni ______.” Aba, demanding!
1740: Marquis de Sade, the first known sadist, is born. His mom labored for three weeks before he decided to come out… officially making her his first victim.
1886: Grover Cleveland becomes the first US president to wed during his term… despite vehement objection from his youngest sister who never really approved of his girlfriend, a town councilor
1898: Spanish General Leopoldo Garcia, with 900 infantry troops and 80 artillerymen armed with guns and ammunition, surrenders to the Filipino forces in Cavite… armed with anting-anting, agimat and bertud.
1904: Olympian 
1953: Queen Elizabeth II is crowned at a coronation ceremony in Westminster Abbey in London. But her advisers encountered a problem when, after her coronation, she refused to stay at the Buckingham Palace citing “negative vibes.”
Personal
Inquirer is No. 1
