A MARSUPIAL IN THE HOUSE

21 05 2010


IT WAS A RATHER unusual day at the House of Representatives last Wednesday. A ‘koala’ stole the show from the crocodiles.

The House of Representatives was jampacked last Wednesday when the 30-minute video clip of “koala boy” was shown… making it the biggest single-day gathering of losers ever.

Identified only as ‘Robin,’ a ‘whistleblower’ that resembles a koala because of his mask, surfaced earlier this week and exposed the alleged massive election fraud during the May 10 automated elections. Analyzing his statements though, this ‘Robin’ is starting to sound more like the Joker.

A video of poll fraud whistleblower identified only as ‘Robin’ was shown at the House of Representatives last Wednesday. But Comelec officials began to raise doubts on Robin’s credibility when he claimed that cheating operations shaved off several million votes from presidential candidates Gilberto Teodoro, former President Joseph Estrada and evangelist Bro. Eddie Villanueva… in Gotham City.

Some people have suspected that “koala boy” who exposed the alleged poll fraud in the May 10 automated polls could be the infamous whistleblower Ador Mawanay. But suspicions slowly fizzled out when they realized that only a horse-shaped mask would fit on him.

Comelec officials started to doubt the credibility of the masked whistleblower when they tried to extract some personal information from him. Asked about his residence, the whistleblower replied, “eucalyptus tree.”


Locsin Blows Top
Outgoing Makati City Rep. Teodoro Locsin lost his cool during Thursday’s hearing when Smartmatic-TIM representatives couldn’t clearly explain why poll results transmitted by voting machines had different time stamps that did not reflect the actual opening and closing times of the polls. Locsin shouted, “You sons of bitches!” to Smartmatic representatives… who hastily called a press conference after the hearing to categorically deny that Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was their mother.

2010 Census
Just so you know, the National Statistics Office has been conducting a national census of population and housing since last week. The projected population for 2010 is 94.01 million. But Sen. Mar Roxas refuses to accept the figure and insists that it’s too close to call.

For 2010, the NSO reveals that Philippine population could reach 94.01 million. But the House of Representatives is inclined to conduct a probe after “Koala Boy” surfaced and alleged that some 5 to 6 million was deducted from the 2007 census.

The NSO has been conducting a national census of population and housing since last week. For 2010, the projected population is 94.01 million. The Catholic Church is holding a victory party.

The 2010 national census of population and housing is ongoing. People are being asked about the number of persons in each household… to which Joseph Estrada asked, “Which household?”

Somebody from the National Statistics Office came to our house yesterday. The NSO guy asked for my name, my birthdate, and my educational attainment, and then, to my surprise, inquired if I was on Facebook.

An NSO representative came to our house yesterday. The NSO guy asked for my name, my age, and my educational attainment. And then to my surprise, he offered me grocery items if I would turn my TV on and tune in to GMA 7.
——————————-

Briefly Noted
President-apparent Noynoy Aquino is no longer taking his oath before a barangay captain. The Philippine Daily Inquirer’s headline today, Friday: “Aquino to take oath before lone SC dissenter” Of course, that wouldn’t be the headline if the Inquirer wasn’t a Noynoy diehard. Knowing the Inquirer, the story could have been titled: “Noynoy Aquino flip-flops, to take oath before lone SC dissenter.” But then again, it’s Noynoy. And it’s the Inquirer. Balanced News, Fearless Views, anyone?

Survey Says
Ngayong nakapanumpa na si Chief Justice Renato Corona, dapat na bang kilalanin ni Sen. Noynoy Aquino ang posisyon nito?
DAPAT naman. Peace na! 56%
HINDI pa rin! Never! 29%
Wala akong pakialam sa kanilang dalawa! 15%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

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118 responses

21 05 2010
Belisema

Sana ako na nman ang una..

21 05 2010
Belisema

ako nga ang una…. pwede na akong mamatay. ching lang :)

ay..ganda ng balita..binigyan daw ni noynoy ng tips si pakyaw kung ano ang gawin sa kongreso.. :D ganun?! ang ibig sabihin ay..magbutas lang ng silya si manny sa kongreso, tumanggap ng pork barrel at mag-alaga ng bata tulad ni noynoy..

echosera ka noy! pero vongga ang oath taking mo, ‘teh sa barang-gay cpt tlaga… ang taray ng lola! :D

21 05 2010
etchosera

Kelan at saan po ang lamay? Punta lahat ng PH fanatics.

At paalala lang ng mga bituin….. Ako po si Etchosera, at di po ako abnoy! Yun lang! Hmmmmmp!

21 05 2010
chiwee

wag! no! stop! :-)
ching din :-)

22 05 2010
john

pagka swerte-swerte mo talaga… sguro wala kang ginagawa ano? :)

23 05 2010
Belisima

meron nman..yung nag-aabang kung anong bagong post ni PH… :D

21 05 2010
kale

ako kaya ang no. 1? :)

21 05 2010
john

sge nga kung 1st? :)

21 05 2010
Belisima

ako pa rin ang una…

you are nothing but a second rate…ching lang! :D

21 05 2010
etchosera

Ang shoray ng Ate!

21 05 2010
dede

sabit nalang ako sa panty mo ateng para parang first na din ako, pero yoko pang mamatay huh!

23 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

dede,

mali. huwag sa panty. dapat sa bra.

21 05 2010
Liezl

I think it’s so unfair for koalas to have “koala boy” part of their families. Koalas are too cute, you know. ;-)

21 05 2010
Belisema

cguro hanggang ngayon .. nag-mumura pa rin si Mar…

21 05 2010
dede

idol sya ni teddy boy…pagmumura!

22 05 2010
andrei

teddy boy, koala boy.. whats next? panda man?

22 05 2010
noynoy

Sabi ni Mar…Tangnangyan matatalo yata ‘ko!

21 05 2010
chiwee

first first first?????
pwera usog pwera usog…. :-)

21 05 2010
phreddox

usog jan chiwee heheh

21 05 2010
chiwee

nausog nga. hahaha. 11 minutes ahead si belisema sa akin. di ako pwedeng magpa inom :-)

21 05 2010
chiwee

… the single biggest gathering of losers ever… hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

misery loves company indeed.

this made my day, yo!

21 05 2010
junior60

Why weren’t you in that gathering? :D

21 05 2010
chiwee

ey? should i be there in the first place? haha.

22 05 2010
john

wag mong sabihin anak ka ni Senior60!? :)

21 05 2010
Smile

start quote: “Locsin shouted, “You sons of bitches!” to Smartmatic representatives… who hastily called a press conference after the hearing to categorically deny that Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was their mother.” END quote

NYAHAHAHAHA!

or the Smartmatic dude deflates and asks himself, “do i fucking look like that baffoon whose carcass Mareng Winnie ate with gusto a few months back on Unang Hirit?”

21 05 2010
Broking

Mas guwapo naman sila kesa dun sa carcass na nilapang ni Mareng Winnie! Ha ha ha ha ha1

21 05 2010
eufems

Lalo na yung hunk na si Cesar Flores :)) Haha.

Sabi nga pala ni PCOSmachine via facebook

‘Dear Cussing Congressman:

00100.

Love,
…PCOS machines.’

21 05 2010
dede

First ba ko???

22 05 2010
etchosera

First ka dyan! Gumising ka kasi ng maaga para mauna ka.

Juicemio! Kung anik anik kasi ang pinanggagawa sa gabi eh! hihihihihihihi!

22 05 2010
dede

avah ateng etchosera, ang bilis ko na nga dito sa post nato, kaso mas mabibilis ang mga kumag magcomment kesa sakin!

21 05 2010
topdog

MARSUPIAL? Koala bear? Hahahahahahahaha!

Locsin shouted, “You sons of bitches!” to Smartmatic representatives… who hastily called a press conference after the hearing to categorically deny that Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was their mother.

IT MAKES MY DAY!

21 05 2010
Viva Canada

First! Woohoo!

21 05 2010
chiwee

in your dreams. :-)

22 05 2010
noynoy

PERSMAYASS!

22 05 2010
dede

wohoo ka dyan, nauna pa n ga ako seyo e!

21 05 2010
waraywaray

face pa lang ni koala, doubtful na. hehe

23 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

oo nga, tingnan mo ‘yung hitsura ng kunyari ilong niya. parang binating namamagang itlog. parang pinagsawaan ni joey salceda.

21 05 2010
moveout

FIRST! :D

21 05 2010
chiwee

nausog ka rin po. :-)

21 05 2010
kalokah

mr ph, have you been in baclaran lately?

the sidewalk was very clean and vendor-free.
so clear, the sidewalk looked like you are in a different province.

according to the people around, this is courtesy of mayor bernabe.
he did not win in baclaran area. “sour loser” ba si mayor bernabe? hehe

21 05 2010
professionalheckler

HE WON RIGHT? :-)

21 05 2010
Zalds

Panalo sa akin yung first 2 paragraphs mo PH.. I found it very funny even though I worked in that institution for 4 years :)

Mayor Bernabe won..

.. and so, is that the new formula for ridding the streets of vendors, dapat matalo ang manok nila? hmmm.. interesting.

Paano na kaya ang EDSA now that Bayani has lost?

21 05 2010
kalokah

yes, he won. but he didn’t get the votes of baclaran.
i guess the vendors got the mayor’s revenge. now that’s “sour-graping”.

23 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

no, he left.

because he did not win in baclaran.

he he he heeh.

sarap mang-asar.

22 05 2010
andrei

taking revenge on the sidewalk vendors? you said yourself. the streets are clean.. looked like you are in a different province…..
if having clean streets is the price for sour graping, then bring it on. I would rather have that than a winning candidate who makes deals to protect the welfare of a specific group and sacrifice the welfare of the majority because that specific group has bloc voting.

21 05 2010
moveout

“A ‘koala’ stole the show from the crocodiles.”

— panalo!

21 05 2010
tomador

nice post PH!

21 05 2010
Worried Pinoy

The House of Representatives was jampacked last Wednesday when the 30-minute video clip of “koala boy” was shown… making it the biggest single-day gathering of losers ever..

- What can a koala do when he is swimming in the pool of crocodiles. Not just crocodiles, LOOSER-CROCCODILES! =)

21 05 2010
Worried Pinoy

Gaano ba kalaki ang epekto ng errors na sinasabi ni Koala Boy este Teddy Boy Locsin? Can we just all accept the fact na may nanalo na at talo sya? Move on Teddy Boy! You’ll have your chance next election! Tama na election fever for god’s sake! At ang kapanerang kuba na si Jamby, lintek makapalakpak sa likod ni Teddy Boy ah?! Sarap sampalin sa baba! Nyeta na yan. Parang nanonood ako ng Liar Liar Movie. Buset!

22 05 2010
etchosera

I’m more worried about you!

22 05 2010
dede

dahan dahan lang magalit, bc mga ambulansya, gamit sa bilangan… ng mga kumita!

21 05 2010
rian

“Somebody from the National Statistics Office came to our house yesterday. The NSO guy asked for my name, my birthdate, and my educational attainment, and then, to my surprise, inquired if I was on Facebook.”

—- ayus, kasama na sa info na need nila. 94.01 filipinos, half have facebook. ahahahaha

21 05 2010
Armie

Hahahahaha! Is this evidence to NSO being biased? Kasi bakit yung Twitter, Friendster, Multiply, etc. hindi sinama? Hahahaha.

21 05 2010
ollie

tama nga ba na “VCOS machine” ang term ni koala boy sa mga PCOS machine?

Im wondering kung sino ang nasa likod ng pag labas ni koala.. di man lang tinuruan ng konti.

22 05 2010
etchosera

wala akong nakita sa likod ng paglabas ni Koala boy.

check ko ulit mamaya, baka naman sa harap at di sa likod, okey?

23 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

tinuruan naman.

palpak nga la’ang.

21 05 2010
ollie

@ teddy locsin.. tingin mo eh cool ka na nyan sa pag mumura mo? woot! :P bitter ka lang daw sabi ng nanay ko kasi talo ang wifey mo sa makati.

21 05 2010
reviewer22

Noynoy giving pacquiao tips on being a congressman? Koala bear addressing crocodiles? NSO has a fan page on face book? What was the probability all of this would happen this week? Ahahaha!

another nice post. KB got James Jimenez really mad. dapat confiscate din ang passport ni KB at baka tumakas pabalik ng australia.

21 05 2010
Poppy Fields

Absolute ba ang tubig nila? :D

22 05 2010
etchosera

Weeeeiiianongayon?

21 05 2010
Armie

I didn’t realise robins could transform into koalas. But, “I’m sure koalas would be much tastier than robins, anyway”, said the crocs. Love this post! Hihi.

21 05 2010
Jack

it’s Mawanay no doubt. Check out the eyes. Sya lang trained sa ganyang performance. The guy’s a pro. Kaya nga ganun yung mask para hindi mhalata na mahaba baba…… The bigger question is, who’s the handler this time?

Tanong lang Mr. PH, bakit big deal sa mga readers mo if they are the first ones to comment?

J

21 05 2010
Anonymous

As Belisima stated, kung ma-una ka feeling mo pwede ka nang mamatay!

21 05 2010
cdotraffic

As Belisima stated, kung ma-una ka feeling mo pwede ka nang mamatay!

21 05 2010
viva la lakers

so madaming readers ng blog ni PH gusto na mamatay? nag-uunahan sila mauna sa comment e.

22 05 2010
etchosera

Paulit ulit ulit ulit ulit! Hmmmmmmp!

22 05 2010
dede

bakit ba e type na nga nyang mamatay e bakit ka ba na kontra pa?

21 05 2010
kalokah

kasi ayaw naming pahuli. gets? :D

23 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

hindi dagdag bawas gang ‘yun.

dagdag padding…. ng bra. di ba, dede?

24 05 2010
dede

@tarugo, di ako sure, kassi di ako nagba bra e

25 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

bakit, ano sinusuot mo?

kondom?

21 05 2010
jaype

becoz the second is the first losser.. mahirap kaya magconcede na 2nd ka lang…

22 05 2010
etchosera

Oh yaya Jaype, you’re such a losser!

Umamin ka… member ka ng dagdag-bawas gang, no?

21 05 2010
chiwee

la lang. haffy lang kami sa unofficial pa-contest sinong unang makapag comment kasi mey mutual bonding na yata kami rito, kahit magka-salungat man ang aming mga tots.

sige nga, para maging official na ‘to. sa next blog post, padadalhan ko ng 100 pesos load ang unang maka-comment. for the sake of art lang para mabawasan mga barya ko rito :-)

PH knows my email add naman yata as I include it always when I make comments, so please email him na lang your mobile number so he can inform me thru email and I will gleefully send the first prize to anyone of you who makes it.

no kidding.

22 05 2010
phreddox

painom ka na lang chiwee at 24 hours na karaoke :D

22 05 2010
kale

haha! nice one chiwee :) wala bang higher bidder dyan, hehe. katuwa talaga mga readers dito, for whatever reason ay excited rin akong maging first, no luck yet. basta this blog makes my day every day. thanks ph! :)

22 05 2010
john

bigtime si chiwee… wala kang magtataas ng bid, to… 200 naman? :)

22 05 2010
dede

karaoke 24 hrs na? basta ba wag mo kakantahin yung “my way” at dika aabutin ng 24 hrs my babaril sayo.

23 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

one hundred pesos lang?

sus!

may lahing amerkano ka ano, chiwee?

kunyari intsik.

21 05 2010
irropoi

sabi ni koala bear,5 to 6 millions votes ang questionable…
tanong ni pstr eddie villanueva, san napunta ung boto ng 3 million kong member?
tanong ni gibo kay quiboloy,sa napunta ung boto ng 5 million mong member?
tanong ni villar kay velerde,san napunta ung boto ng 6 million mong member?

ang gulo-gulo nila,promise!

22 05 2010
etchosera

Tapos ka na sa mga tanong tanong na yan?

Ahihihihihihihi!

21 05 2010
kalokah

para mauna kayo, time ang posting ni mr ph.
clue?
basta it’s set on :00. dapat abangan nyo.

21 05 2010
kalokah

nice tweet from @pcosmachine:

Dear Cussing Congressman: 00100. Love, PCOS machines.

fyi, 00100 is binary for… middle finger.

21 05 2010
Joey De Leon

koala boy? si willie revillame yan! pustahan tayo.

21 05 2010
Hay Naku

Gordon pina TRO ang statement ni Koala boy. Hindi kasi sya makapaniwala na hindi binawasan ang boto nya.

TRO lifted na. Inamin din kasi ni koala boy na binawasan din nila ng 50 votes si Gordon.

Gordon, masaya na.

22 05 2010
etchosera

Opo.

21 05 2010
timpaul

last ba ako?

22 05 2010
john

malapit na… malapit ka na sa hulihan! :)

22 05 2010
dede

muntik na tim.

22 05 2010
marshee

“Knowing the Inquirer, the story could have been titled: “Noynoy Aquino flip-flops, to take oath before lone SC dissenter.” But then again, it’s Noynoy. And it’s the Inquirer. Balanced News, Fearless Views, anyone?”

- PA-NA-LO!!! hahaha! susme talaga ang inquirer. i wanna know if they’ll keep on loving noynoy all throughout his 6 years in office, pati na ang abscbn, now that would be good for the incoming administration, noh?

22 05 2010
senior60

chiwee

naman, binigyan mo pa ng additional workload si
mister heckler…

pero itong si teddy boy, since, feeling na yan talaga,
feeling hambug, hindi umubra sa kanya ang katisoyan
ng dalawang taga smartmatic na na tongue-tied…

28 05 2010
checkmate

hehehe parang medyo sigurado na ako sa naiisip ko sir senior60 ^^

22 05 2010
yeontura

So it’s the battle of the “bears”: a teddy vs. a koala.

22 05 2010
reviewer22

Koala boy, anong religious group ka at tinalo pa sina Pastor Quilloboy, Mike Velarde, INC, at ibang mga religious groups sa pagbigay ng mga boto? The word in the street is that you will also be able to get the votes for those vying for the house speakership and senate presidency. nag prepare pa daw ito for the upcoming barangay elections.

22 05 2010
pihikan chronicles

e ano ng manyayari kay MAR ngayon?

22 05 2010
john

Plan B nga daw… ‘B’untisin ang misis nyang brodkaster! :)

22 05 2010
dede

full time husband na ulit sya ni Korina.

23 05 2010
sam

dede,

and question: ti&$gasan ba c mar-imar ke ate koring? kc pareho na cla menopause!

23 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

bakit ba ‘yung paggawa ng bata ang pinag-iinitan n’yo kina kuya mar at ate kuring?

hindi pa naman menopos si ate kuring. malapit pa lang.

24 05 2010
dede

@sam, yan ang malaking tanong.

@tarugo, my umaasa pabang magkakaanak sila?ampon nalang sila ng poodle.

25 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

bakit ba kasi pinipigilan ninyong magkaanak ‘yung dalawa, e sa gusto nila?

kontrabida naman kayo, oo.

ano gusto ninyong gawin nila sa gabi, mag-kiki-litian?

lupit n’yo.

22 05 2010
etchosera

di po kami manghuhula. hmmmmp!

22 05 2010
dede

ateng, obyus na naghihintay kang mauna sa bagong post, gusto na ring mamatay? pag nauna ka sabit ako ha!

22 05 2010
eufems

Koala Boy reminds me of Perry the Platypus…

23 05 2010
mike

una kaya ako?? bakit mas marami pang boto si Lito Lapid kesa kay Gibo? dina mas maraming naglaban labang senador? sa presidentila 8 lang diba? hmmm..la lang..

23 05 2010
senior60

nagtaka naman ako kay noynoy, bakit kaya inoferan nya si

retired chief justice puno na magiging kanyang doj secretary,

si puno na syang nagpatibay para maging new sc chief justice

si corona, na hindi daw nya kikilalanin, another flip-flop on his

part?

nakatikim tuloy sya ng tanggi, akala siguro ni noynoy na lahat

magkukumahog na mapasama sa kanyang cabinete, good move

mr. puno, i salute you for that….

28 05 2010
checkmate

sir senior60, kampanya pa lang po puro flip-flops na si noynoy, sana po masanay na tayo…

23 05 2010
timpaul

Paano yan, prof, si Ms Pedrosa ng STAR believe sa koala? Pabayaan na lang ba natin sya? Can she just get away with it “unheckled”?

23 05 2010
professionalheckler

i do not even read her. waste of time.

23 05 2010
john

PH sya ba yung Pedrosa na dating anchor ng CNN? i remember napanood ko sya may ini-interview at hindi sya maintindihan doon sa tanong nya… nakakahiya kamo sya! simula noon hindi ko na sya nakita. :)

23 05 2010
professionalheckler

not veronica. the mother, carmen.

23 05 2010
tarugong kulotMPR

d’yan pa lang heckled na si pedrosa.

sino ba s’ya?

24 05 2010
chiwee

yah, agree with PH. ish a waste of time reading her. besides, her previous columns against Noynoy had all the shades of almost-fairy tale like. She and koala bear are no diff from each other. Mga fans ni Hans Christian Andersen.

23 05 2010
karaangbugoy

Another good one PH.

Nakakahiya na ang mga congressmen natin. Pati 12 anyos kong anak napatanong sa akin ba’t ang bobo daw nila.

For example, sabi ni Locsin na ang koala bear daw ay galing sa New Zealand. Ozzie po ang koala.

Tapos nakinig sila sa sinasabi ni koala di man lang ginawa ang math. Sa show ni Ted Failon sa ABS, ginawa niya ang math ayon sa sinasabi ni koala. Lumalabas na ang totoong boto na nakuha ni Noynoy ay negative 900,000 something.

PH wag mong ihahambing ang mga congressman sa mga crocodile. Nakakainsulto sa mga buwaya!

23 05 2010
etchosera

di nga? di nga? Nagtanong talaga sayo ang anak mo?

If yes, why not?

23 05 2010
mbw

dito sa Mindoro I heard that tama lang yung mga nanalo…everyone i talked with are happy with the voters’ choice…or the results kaya kung may mag-protesta ay baka masabihan na “sore loser.”

Tanong ko lang…bakit puro whole numbers ang shaving off…kung ako ang mag-she-shave off gagawin kong 5 million and 300 thousand and 2 thousand fifty-four votes for Noynoy chaved off Gibo for instance…wala lang :-). You mean magka-konchaba ang SWS, Pulse Asia kay Koala Boy?

23 05 2010
whatchamakulitz

Locsin shouted, “You sons of bitches!” to Smartmatic representatives… who hastily called a press conference after the hearing to categorically deny that Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was their mother.

Aha ha ha :) panalo.. Wala kang kupas PH, sulit talaga magbasa ng post mo entertaining, educational at pampatanggal ng stress…

24 05 2010
sam

dede,

tumpak. ampon nalang c mar-imar at c ate kuring ng poodle. kamukha ng poodle si ate kuring, ang magsusuklay at magaayos ke poodle e c ate mar!

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