IMPARTIAL AND OFFICIAL

11 05 2010


May 11, 2010
Makati City

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.

I congratulate Sen. Benigno Simeon “Noynoy” Aquino III on his victory.

I accept the will of the people.

I encourage every Filipino to work side-by-side with our new president… with the exception of those who are allergic to second hand smoke.

I would like to thank the readers of this blog who volunteered to disseminate the information that I maintain a Twitter account. I may have failed to update my blog on Election Day but people were able to monitor my activities by following me on Twitter.

Today, I concede. Yes, I concede that Noynoy Aquino is a more entertaining subject than Manuel Villar Jr., Joseph Estrada, or any other presidential candidates.

His victory is just the beginning. There’s so much work to do. There’s a lot of Noynoyisms to write about.

Let us celebrate democracy and let the heckling flourish even more under his administration.

Mabuhay ang sambayanang Pilipino! Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

Signed:

The Professional Heckler

—————————

In the news today…
Conceding defeat to Noynoy Aquino, Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. apologized to the people whom he may have hurt during the campaign. He apologized to his opponents, to their supporters, and to his critics. He didn’t say though when is he going to apologize to his mother.

Speaking before the press Tuesday morning, Manny Villar conceded defeat to Noynoy Aquino. In accepting his sorry loss, Villar vowed to support the Aquino administration… by not releasing any psychiatric reports anymore.

Sen. Manny Villar has conceded defeat to Noynoy Aquino. There’s no word yet though if Willie Revillame is also conceding defeat to Jobert Sucaldito.

Gordon and JC, Too
Reports say Sen. Richard Gordon was the third presidential candidate to concede defeat. That’s according to news reports. But according to SWS and Pulse Asia, he’s the sixth candidate to do so.

At press time, Sen. Jamby Madrigal is in 8th place in the presidential race. But the feisty senator is not about to concede defeat saying, “Hindi ako kumakain ng pride.”

Trailing his eight rivals in the official counting, Ang Kapatiran Party standard-bearer JC De Los Reyes has also conceded defeat. K.


Gilbert Throws in the Towel
Lakas-Kampi-CMD standard-bearer Gilbert Teodoro has conceded defeat to his second cousin, Sen. Noynoy Aquino. Unfortunately for Gilbert, he failed to make it work. I mean, “Mind over mother.”

In accepting his defeat, administration candidate Gilbert Teodoro said, “I did not fight for a political position for myself but for an idea. Winning or losing is secondary. We fight for an idea.” Monitoring Gibô on ANC, Noynoy Aquino inexplicably had a nosebleed.

Administration candidate Gilbert Teodoro lost the presidency. Pastor Apollo Quiboloy’s “God” lost its credibility. Boo!

Mar and Binay
Jejomar Binay is reportedly winning the race for vice president despite getting junked by the INC; snubbed by Quiboloy, and dumped by his own running mate. Now that’s what you call ‘failure of rejection.’

Outgoing Makati City Jejomar Binay looks headed for an upset win over Sen. Mar Roxas. Sought for comment, Roxas said, “Masakit. Para akong tinadyakan ng dark horse.”

As Jejomar Binay leads the counting for vice president, Noynoy Aquino denies reports that some Liberal Party stalwarts have started to abandon his running mate, Mar Roxas. Dissatisfied with Noynoy’s denial, Joey Salceda suggested a loyalty check.

Ex-presidential contender turned vice presidential candidate Mar Roxas is losing his bid for the vice presidency… making ex-future First Lady Korina Sanchez the leading candidate for ex-future Second Lady.

Partial, unofficial tally shows Sen. Mar Roxas is trailing Jejomar Binay in the vice presidential race. When he saw the partial results in the news, Roxas said, “Basta! Alam ko na kung sino ang hindi ko isasama sa repeat concert ng Tears for Fears!”

Erap and Binay
Videos and photos have revealed that Joseph Estrada did not vote for a vice presidential candidate. But Estrada’s running mate, Jejomar Binay was unfazed by the reported alleged rejection. After all, he’s got his ‘other’ president.

Noynoy Wins
Results of the partial, unofficial count show that Sen. Noynoy Aquino has won the presidency. Finally, he’s got something to write under the column “Achievements” on his curriculum vitaé.

Noynoy Aquino has confirmed reports that Dinky Soliman has accepted his offer to become DSWD secretary. Aquino has earlier vowed to reward Soliman with a cabinet post on condition that she won’t sing “If We Hold On (Together)” again.

Photo of the Weak

Ano ang pinag-uusapan ng dalawang lalaki sa larawan?

A: “Natatandaan mo pa ba noong magpunta tayo minsan sa isang girlie joint doon sa QC? Sinundan pala ako ng Tita Ellen Binay mo. ‘Buti na lang, madilim sa kuwarto. Hindi ako nakita!”

“Ha-ha-ha! Pati ba naman ‘yun natandaan n’yo pa? Para tuloy gusto kong bumalik.”

B: “Sa tingin mo ‘Noy, iinterviewhin pa kaya ako ni Korina kapag bumalik siya sa DZMM?”

“Ha-ha-ha! Kabahan ka na Manong! Pero ‘wag ako ang tanungin mo d’yan. ‘The Buzz’ lang at ‘SNN’ ang hawak ko.”

C: “Puwede bang maghati tayo ng term? First three years, ikaw ang presidente, ako ang bise. ‘Tapos, last three years, ako naman ang presidente at ikaw ang bise. Sige na, pumayag ka na. Subok lang!”

“Ha-ha-ha! Nautot naman ako sa sinabi n’yo. Tanungin ko muna ang Pink Sisters.”

D: “Nagbabasa ka ba ng column ni Conrado De Quiros ng Inquirer? Paborito ka no’n! You think, magugustuhan n’ya rin ako?”

“Oo naman! Kayo pa!? Alam n’yo bang mahilig sa analogy ng ‘good & evil’ si De Quiros? Eksakto! Good ako. Evil kayo! I luveeeet!”
————–
Note: This is just a partial dose of my post-elections report. The results from the local voting are next. Plus, a special article on our new president.
————–
Battle of the Networks
Did you see GMA News’ use of a “hologram” in their election coverage? Award-winning journalist Howie Severino became the first Filipino to be beamed in “a hologram” on live TV. But the feat didn’t impress Noynoy Aquino that much saying he’s seen the same stuff in his favorite PC games.

Howie Severino became the first Filipino journalist to be beamed on live TV in “a hologram” – or as Pastor Apollo Quiboloy would describe it, “a vision.”

GMA News and Public Affairs ushered in a first on Philippine television. Howie Severino became the first Filipino to be beamed in “a hologram” on live TV. But rumors say it wasn’t really Howie but his boss, Jessica Soho who was supposed to be beamed first during the coverage. There wasn’t just enough ‘beam’ to make it possible.


How about ABS-CBN’s high-tech equipment? Did you see the huge Philippine map that was projected right in front of the news anchor? Viewers were treated to a rare spectacle when some of the islands on the map started to disappear on live TV – during high tide!

ABS-CBN’s comprehensive coverage of the May 2010 elections utilized a new broadcast technology called “augmented reality,” which combines computer-generated imagery in live-video streams as a way to expand the real-world. Or as Lito Lapid would say, “Higanteng touch screen lang ‘yan!”

Finally… another rumor has it GMA News was not the first news organization to use the idea of “a hologram” to make it appear that a news person is actually there in person while fellow news persons pretend to be in awe while talking to her. That’s exactly what happens every time Korina Sanchez drops by the ABS-CBN Newsroom.
——————————
“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.”
~ Marilyn vos Savant

Survey Says
Neck-and-neck ang labanan. Kung dalawa na lang ang maglalaban sa pagka-bise presidente, sino ang iboboto mo?
Jejomar BINAY 28%
Mar ROXAS 48%
Wala! Ayoko sa kanilang dalawa! 24%

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167 responses

11 05 2010
Tsoknat

Korina as ex-future Second Lady… Hahaha! Winner!

11 05 2010
chiwee

First?

Kung di ako first, okay lang. Basta’s sure ako, si Noynoy ang FIRST. :-)

17 05 2010
wichee

First sa PUSO mo? How sweet!

11 05 2010
chiwee

What happened to the promised 6 million voters of Pastor Quiboloy? Na-hologram? :-)

11 05 2010
phreddox

They went the same way as Eddie Villanueva’s 5 million?

11 05 2010
Pekeng Ipis

Na- Ponzi scheme sila .. niyahahahahah!

12 05 2010
me_tama

awaiting transmittak
napagod ang machine…
wait ka lang in 2014
mas updated hologram na ang gamitin
pag pumalpak me teegram namang backup tyak yonn

12 05 2010
checkmate

so much for God’s appointed son? hehehe

11 05 2010
hecklerlover

First! :D

12 05 2010
buboy

hehehehe! kala mo lang yun!

11 05 2010
chiwee

Now it can be told. Villar’s widely popular tale of “bathing in a sea of garbage” is only a prelude to his present “bathing in a sea of swamp cabbage”.

Tagalugin na. Base sa election results, siya ay naliligo ngayon sa dagat ng kangkungan.

12 05 2010
Deal Masen

Now that’s a pun. Haha

12 05 2010
qwerty

ah, cabbage pala yung kangkong? kala ko repolyo

12 05 2010
qwerty

i-edit ko na, baka supalpalin pako neto eh.

kangkong pala yung cabbage, kala ko repolyo. hehehe

di naman ako masyado nagtataka sa choice of candidate mo. gets mo?

12 05 2010
mando

FYI: “swamp cabbage” yun yung kangkong

12 05 2010
lorna

kangkong is actually swamp spinach, cabbage is repolyo. just for info

12 05 2010
chiwee

na-confuse na ako a. :-) all the while, akala ko swamp cabbage lang ang english ng kangkong. checking the other term from lorna just now, i think swamp cabbage and water spinach are both correct.

for water spinach:

http://www.bangkokpost.com/life/improvement/24025/add-a-little-tenderness

for swamp cabbage:

http://www.filipinoherbshealingwonders.filipinovegetarianrecipe.com/kangkong.htm

13 05 2010
checkmate

hehehe whatever ^^

11 05 2010
Joey in Dubai

I love the ‘good and evil’….

11 05 2010
Orocan

Nag concede na rin si Loren. Plastic pa din ang dating.

11 05 2010
rian

so true! magcoconcede na lang, nagtry pa din mag invest for future elections.

12 05 2010
me_tama

hindi na nga pumila e..na atat din magconcede ke binay di kay mar
baka magmilagro…pagliwanaag nang araw.. makita si binay na shadow ni mar..
balewe.baleweek ni mar di pa na bilang…sure ka..5 million pa di bilang..bka yoong ang nasa vision ni Mr. Q…
nakapadyak pa ang mga bei..dadating din yoon bago mag 2014

11 05 2010
john

present! :)

11 05 2010
malinaw

I was expecting Jamby to be a gentleman and concede.

12 05 2010
mando

hehehe..ok to ah…”expecting Jamby to be a gentleman” hehehe

12 05 2010
checkmate

hehehe ayos sa mga puchlines sir ^^

11 05 2010
Jethro

Nothing on how Noy took an eternity to to shade his ballot? And how Karen Davila was incredibly HYPER (I refrain from using the D-word, no need to be sued haha)?

11 05 2010
Dark Horse

sabi ko na nga ba hindi si Obama ung nakita ni Quiboloy sa dream nya. Si Binay!

12 05 2010
suskupo

Nice..nice…

13 05 2010
sdramos

@DARK HORSE…. LOL! to the max!

13 05 2010
BAROK

LOL!!!

11 05 2010
caps22

“Mind over Mother”. hai nku..hahaha

11 05 2010
Pekeng Ipis

Sir PH .. this one is down right awesome!!!
/*
{ “Howie Severino became the first Filipino journalist to be beamed on live TV in “a hologram” – or as Pastor Apollo Quiboloy would describe it, “a vision.”” }
*/
Hologram !.. puwede gamitin ng mga kulto para pabilisin ang second coming. .Kanino kaya image ang gagamitin if ever? Just a thought ..puwede ding gamitin hologram para mag-hagis ng binasbasang itlog.. LOL

11 05 2010
akosistella

PF umamin ka…ikaw din si @PCOSmachine anu? ;p

12 05 2010
professionalheckler

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

11 05 2010
mommy

Nice Post PH! Super galing ng post election observations and analysis.

We fight for an idea.” Monitoring Gibô on ANC, Noynoy Aquino inexplicably had a nosebleed – AGREE!

Ha-ha-ha! Kabahan ka na Manong! Pero ‘wag ako ang tanungin mo d’yan. ‘The Buzz’ lang at ‘SNN’ ang hawak ko.” – Am sure, stars who endorsed kuya Noy and helped in the nationwide campaign will receive praises from Krissy and Tito Boy during the weeks ahead.

Hi PH, hope your next multiple choice would be about what Loi’s and Jinggoy’s reaction to Erap and Guia Gomez kissing LIPS to LIPS on national TV.

12 05 2010
me_tama

kung ke binay yon…black propaganda na naman

13 05 2010
myvineyard

that kissing scene of E&G is the most spine-tingling, offensive video clip ever viewed by mankind on tv this season… remember that infomercial a long time ago by a milk company that showed adults in some series of no-no scenes each ended by the punchline… “ang ginagawa ng matanda, (aakalaing tama!)…baka gayahin ng bata… naykupuuu! dapat nilagyan ng ganyang tagline yung video, di ba? o kaya, plasteran na lang ng nagmumurang “parental guidance” sa ibaba!

13 05 2010
promdi

ay mommy, ako na lang muna magrereact sa kissing scene… bad taste to the nth degree! pero spontaneous yun at unscripted, di ba? acting on honest impulse lang ng forever in love na si erap… sa kanya natural lang yun! (at kahit sa mga walong milyon nang bumoto sa kanya, tsk,tsk!), nalimutan may camera for public affairs coverage, hindi taping sa teleserye, ha! kaya di rin pwede black propaganda. sory na lang sa moralist pinoy… na kumokonti na talaga! huhuhuuuu!

11 05 2010
mel

o yan kasi, gaya gaya lagi ang pinoy sa amerika, ngayong eleksyon puro “change” naman ang bukambibig… si ‘burak’ obama tuloy ang naging bise natin.

11 05 2010
melo

Jamby,hindi kumakain ng pride hahaha,panalo ito,PH!!

11 05 2010
jianne

nice one. and with noynoy’s win, mukhang makapagblog na si PH everyday. :)

at pang-star trek ang dating ng GMA. galing

And here’s a trivia. Expect this in any news feature or in your inboxes days from now. Of course, given their clout in the media, expect his blanks to be sugar and spice and all things nice. :))

A Coincidence?
US 15th President, a bachelor, a _____ and considered to be one of their ____ presidents. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Buchanan

The Philippine’s 15th President, also a bachelor, a _____ and prematurely considered to be one of the country’s ______ presidents.

12 05 2010
Zalds

nice one jianne.. galing ng research mo ah :)

12 05 2010
checkmate

conspiracy!!!!! joke lang ^^

12 05 2010
checkmate

i just finished buchanan’s article on wikipedia, wag naman sana matulad, kawawa pilipinas ^^
all out support na lang sa mga bagong namumuno ^^

12 05 2010
myvineyard

hi ph, who’s in the title pic; can’t seem to recognize. nahihirapan ako i-identify. hawig siya with one soon to be president? pero wala namang mapa sa dibdib! me bubble gum ba cya while shading the bilog hugis itlog? it appears something’s wrong somewhere, hanapin mo kaya! – lolaVi

12 05 2010
professionalheckler

erap yan.

12 05 2010
myvineyard

ay, naalala ko na… si joshua sya, di ba?

12 05 2010
qwerty

LOL

12 05 2010
jasper

did korina contribute to mar’s sputtering in the homestretch?

12 05 2010
suskupo

Yes

12 05 2010
Anonymous

nanood nood pa kasi sya ng tears for fears concert! hahhha

13 05 2010
brianitus

LoL. That Boo in the Tears for Fears concert did Mar in! hahaha.

12 05 2010
senior60

mister heckler, sabi ni tomador, wala na daw sour graping,
papaano pa mag flourish ang noynoyisms mo….

ang ” mind over mother ” is in its highest form of heckling…

chiwee, ang hinahanap mo ay na offset ng kay manalo…

seriously now, ang presidente ay hindi dapat nagbabasa ng mga
sasabihin lalo’t sa napaka simpleng pagpapasalamat laang…

bakit kaya naisipan ni noynoy si dinky soliman, siguro dahil sa
kanyang signature streak hair, buhay pa kaya yung streak? at sa
palagay ko, nagsisi si dinky ng bigla syang nag jumped ship dahil
tingnan naman, nag survive pa si arroyo for several years, sana
marami pa syang mga tours with arroyo and picture picture….

12 05 2010
darkcheron

Ang nakakatakot nyan, whose going to stop GMA from being the evil queen. I’m still frustrated by how it turned out pero I’m gonna have to accept it eventually. Ang nakakatawa nito, mga Pinoys mahilig sa drama. They were in a hurry to create a hero and kinatapusan nito sila din ang una na tatawa/maninira/magpapabagsak dito. Now I know how the Americans felt when Bush won. In fairness, lalawak pa lalo ang material ng mahal nating si PH. Nakikinita-kinita ko na rin na kung dati ay nauso ang ERAPTION na joke book sa panahon ni Erap, ngayon ay may lalabas na panibago at baka nga Noynoyism ang itawag. O PH ikaw ang nauna ha dapat may royalties ka na matanggap for coining it.

The real challenge now is how we can help the new president remain in power if the SHE-DEVIL makes her move…

12 05 2010
checkmate

sir senior60, move on na po tayo, iba yata ung nakita ni pastor quiboloy nyo 1m+ lang ung bumoto kay gibo out of 6m supposed members ni appointed son of God. ang dapat na pinaguukulan nyo ng pansin eh ung mga uupo sa congress at senate ngayon plus ung sinabi ni gma na pwede syang kasuhan ng susunod na pangulo hehehehe kahit gaano nya itago, nakikita ko pa rin sa mukha nya ung mga salitang “Come and get me if you can!” nyahahaha

12 05 2010
timpaul

Hindi na nga shinade si binay, may dirty finger pa!!! Haay erap.

12 05 2010
qwerty

Ano ang pinag-uusapan ng dalawang lalaki sa larawan?

C: “Puwede bang maghati tayo ng term? First three years, ikaw ang presidente, ako ang bise. ‘Tapos, last three years, ako naman ang presidente at ikaw ang bise. Sige na, pumayag ka na. Subok lang!”

“Ha-ha-ha! Nautot naman ako sa sinabi n’yo. Tanungin ko muna ang Pink Sisters.”

Isang karima-rimarim na foreshadowing ni TPH. ba’t naisip mo to? sinaniban ka ba ni jojo acuin?

12 05 2010
jaime

i’m worried about noynoy being identified with the likes of erap, lito lapid and bong revilla (the clueless group/type) through jokes. Shouldn’t we joke about his policies and not his supposed mental incapacity? afterall, he’s our president. just thinking… hehe.

12 05 2010
john

you mean, real president? :)

12 05 2010
brunix

Epic fail ng ABS Virtual Presence sa link na ito: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9EAGqI-YXo

Ano kaya ang naisip ni Failon pagkatapos niyang magyabang sa TVP? Haha!

12 05 2010
Kangkungan ni Mar

Mind over Mother tops ‘em all! Bwahahaha!

With Mar’s impending loss, we now expect Noynoy to work 100% of the time. No more delegation of 50-80% of his power.

Fearless forecast for Noy’s cabinet:

DOF: R. D. O. (Secretary during the time of Ramos)

DSWD: Dinky (as announced in the news)

DTI: C. P. (Gloria’s ex-secretary)

DFA: Amb. D. R. (Cory’s ex-secretary)

Customs: Abangan! When this is announced, let me remind everyone of Noy’s battlecry – Kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap!

13 05 2010
sdramos

Much I wanted GIBO to win… ano kaya kung sia uli ang Secretary of Defense? and Gordon as back to Secretary of Tourism? didn’t they both have these positions before?

13 05 2010
jashe

Gordon for Ombudsman?

15 05 2010
checkmate

tama, ombudsman naman sana si gordon, astigin yun ^^

12 05 2010
religiousboy

Di po makakatulong sa bansa natin yang mga “Joshua-joshua” comments ng iba diyan. In fact yang mga komentong yan gaya ng fake psychiatric tests ang lalong nagpapanalo sa ayaw ninyong manalo. Sa issues na lang po sana. Salamat.

And while we’re at it, nananawagan po ako sa mga kagaya kong maka-Mar po diyan, dagdagan pa natin ang dasal na sana mag-milagro pa. Diyos na mahabagin, especially after reading this voter’s comment (below) dito mismo sa PH: Taga-Makati po ako. Akala ko sa mga cake lang at sa one-condo-unit-before permit at cut-for every-gasoline station-permit lang ang kurakot, mukhang marami pa palang iba. So kung si Binay ang ma-proclaim, gagawin niya ba ito di lang sa Makati, kundi sa buong bansa? Oh, no!

“With a senior citizen’s birthday cake worth only at most P300 but written in city hall’s books as P1,000 apiece, with billions in unremitted withholding taxes, with his daughters going to the u.s. just to give birth, with overpriced city hall furnishings, with his farms, condo units, even laborers digging up streets to get good quality steel used in yabut’s time and bringing these steel bars to his farm, with the one-shot deal for the mayor’s seat already done with his vice mayor then dumping the guy because his missus said the vice mayoral seat is not good enough for her son, how can it not be Mar?”

(P.S. Yung bakeshop, sa kanya rin daw.)

12 05 2010
paranoid

sabik na sabik mag president si Binay kaya bk mangyari niyan in effect sya ang magiging Phil president at si Aquino nsa kuwarto lang niya naninigarilyo at nagpi-PSP.

13 05 2010
brianitus

So, who put Binay there in the first place?

12 05 2010
suskupo

Ang tanong…uuwi na ba si LACSON??

12 05 2010
TOMADOR

@Senior60, sourgraping is different from heckling so wala dapat problema si PH. yung mga hirit mo, ayan puro sourgraping….Talaga naman basta may masabi lang hahahahahaha! get over it! Move on! [b]Life is short[/b], ask Nanay Curing.

12 05 2010
religiousboy

Napansin mo din pala Tomador. Hayaan mo na sila kung ayaw pang mag-move on, kahit yung talunang manok nila nakapag move-on na. Ha-ha-ha!

12 05 2010
reviewer22

Admit it PH, the results of the election would catapult you to greater heights. Sabi mo nga, “The problem with political jokes is they get elected.” Well more material for you I guess. Nandiyan yung mga nanalo sa senate and the new batch of celebrities gracing our congress.

Kakatuwa ang hologram sa GMA 7. At yung mga “conceding supporters” ay kahit paano na tuwa nung na beam down na si Noynoy at kinain ng sahig. Joke lang.

ABS didn’t have the hologram tech so they went for the next thing: Noynoy Palaboy. Unfortunately, it made Bernadette Sembrano uneasy. Kamukhang kamukha kasi ng totoong Noynoy that she wouldn’t even entertain a playful kiss from Willie Nep.

Anyway, great blogs.

12 05 2010
Zalds

tama ka dyan rev.

NICE ONE PH! marami ka talagang maging material at star-studded ang kongreso ngayon. can’t wait na for july 26 para sa kauna-unahang SONA ni noynoy. with a congress like that (lalo na kung speaker si GMA at senate president si villar), it will be a big spectacle na kaabang-abang, hahahaha

13 05 2010
Jaime

Whoa.Talk about spectacle. I hope your sentiment isn’t reflective of the whole country’s. Anong kaabang-abang dun? Won’t it be better if we hope (and work) for good things to come?

13 05 2010
checkmate

sir jaime, siguro po ang kaabang-abang na sinasabi ni sir zalds ay yung tungkol sa mga ‘pangako ni noynoy’ nung campaign period na walang corruption na govt nya, gusto siguro ni sir zalds malaman kung kaya nga ba talaga ni noynoy tuparin ung sinasabi nya…

12 05 2010
meetah maid

anu ba yan, hanggang sa pagshe-shade ng ballot nakanganga pa din?

malamang hanggang sa oath taking nakanganga pa din yan.

12 05 2010
chiwee

:-)

ke naka tuwad pa yan or naka hubad, pabalik baligtarin at pagulung gulungin man sa dagat ng balota, wala na tayong magagawa but to accept the fact that the bird cannot fly without a fak fak.

e yung US nga, lugar ng mga puti, itim ang presidente. big deal ba?
yung brazil, japanese si fujimori, big deal ba?

it’s weird we filipinos cry out loud over “discrimination” from other countries, e.g., tsip hao, british comedy over a filipino maid, us show making derogatory remarks over our doctors who allegedly have spurious diplomas, a us talk show host over filipina mail-order brides, the inclusion of filipina as “maid” in a british dictionary …. yet most of us are more discriminating to our own countrymen.

13 05 2010
TOMADOR

tapos sila pa yung malakas magsabi na ang bobo ng mga bumoto sa hindi nila kandidato! hahahaha lot of hypocrites!

13 05 2010
Jaime

I couldn’t agree more. I voted for Gibo but please, it’s time to move on.lol Unless you really like eating your own sh*t.

13 05 2010
Pekeng Ipis

Very true.

12 05 2010
irropoi

ph, mukhang magiging sobrang busy k,
kc c noynoy n ang president!!!
parang super daming katatawanang mangyayari s gobyerno!!!
add mo pa ang nakababatang kapatid n c kris
at ang pamangkin c josh at c baby james.
exciting!!!!!!!!!!!

12 05 2010
paul

The circus will surely continue with these clowns. We will have a good laugh and a good cry

13 05 2010
Jaime

A real Filipino there!

12 05 2010
Anonymous

….siguradong mamamayagpag ka lalo PH kase nanalo si Noynoy at wika nga..”interesting subject” siya…heheheheh!!!!

12 05 2010
gibo_but_not_teodoro

i honestly think heckling noynoy at this point will not be good for the country.

i agree with another post here, baka ma associate natin sya with erap and his eraptions effectively undermining his presidency.

am just crying out loud, this site is very popular but pero this brand of humor will likely be a disservice to our country and our hope for change. i can also see that those whose “manok” lost are venting their disappointment here. tolerating this mr heckler is irresponsible.

congratulations to all pinoys worldwide.

12 05 2010
professionalheckler

YOU SAID:
“i can also see that those whose “manok” lost are venting their disappointment here. tolerating this mr heckler is irresponsible.”

I TOLERATED both pro- or anti-Noynoy raves/rants before the elections. i tolerated every comment as long as walang invectives.

unfair naman na i-censor ko ang mga kumento ng ibang tao dahil hindi mo ito nagugustuhan.

as for your fear na “this brand of humor will likely be a disservice to our country and our hope for change,” –
-That’s flattering. C’MON. As long as matino ang pamamalakad ng gobyernong maluluklok sa susunod na mga taon, ano ba namang magagawa ng isang hamak na political humor site as this one.

12 05 2010
gibo_but_not_teodoro

hope you won’t get me wrong i actually appreciate your site HP, been reading this for a while. I even have this site bookmarked on my mobile phone.

yes, you are right it would be unfair to censor anyone’s opinion, that is the very essence of the “true democracy” that we are all fighting for.

you said – “As long as matino ang pamamalakad ng gobyernong maluluklok sa susunod na mga taon, ano ba namang magagawa ng isang hamak na political humor site as this one.”

you are too modest, you are already very popular! denying it is futile. LOL. However, I think you would agree with me that some of the jokes and subsequent comments here are not in any way relevant to the performance of politicians. Noynoy is an interesting character actually even funny, and It is from there that I draw my fear- of Noynoy being stereotyped or worst lampooned before he even starts day 1 as president.

thanks for taking time out to reply to my post, will remain as one of your avid readers.

Cheers!

12 05 2010
professionalheckler

YOU WROTE:
“However, I think you would agree with me that some of the jokes and subsequent comments here are not in any way relevant to the performance of politicians.”
——————–
NGUNIT ako ay hindi obligadong sumulat ng tungkol sa iisang aspeto lamang ng buhay, lifestyle, o paraan ng pamumuno ng isang pulitiko o opisyal ng pamahalaan. If you would just watch Leno, Letterman, O’Brien or Jon Stewart, u would notice that one of their running jokes is about House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s physical features. In particular, they would always make fun of her botox injections.

I see your point na sa panahong ito ay dapat tulungan ang bagong pangulo dahil sa kinakaharap ng bayan. But to deviate from being what i really am, who i really am, and what i ‘should’ write about as The Professional Heckler would be unfair to my readers who have been both supportive and critical for half a decade now.

12 05 2010
john

i agree. nag wish ako na sana manalo si Noynoy and i don’t care what people say, pero ngayong sya ang magiging presidente siguro mas lalo tayong maging mapag-matyag at tutukan ang gagawin nyang pamamalakad.

12 05 2010
Malinaw

This site is about seeing the funny side of things. Ganoon kasimple. Huwag na nating pakumplikaduhin. TPH is no different from a newspaper column, only it’s more entertaining (and more balanced, even). And no one is forcing anyone to read the entries here.

12 05 2010
notchfilter

I don’t think your site is just “hamak na political site” lang.
You’ve got powers PH.

Sa tagal ng panahon mong nanghe-heckle walang msasabi sa impartiality mo. I share the sentiments of the other two… Some people might use your jokes to undermine noynoy’s presidency. Just look at all the people here that just can’t move on. Who just couldn’t wait to see the new president fail.

it’s nice to see that there are others who are mature enough to support the new leader even if their bets lost. Dapat ganyan tyo.

12 05 2010
ranjit

well said heckler!

12 05 2010
paul

Carry on heckling and hit Noy real hard. Its part of the territory. If he cannot take the heat, he should get out of the kitchen

12 05 2010
Pekeng Ipis

PH’s blog site is way cool , it’s heckling with class. So let’s just enjoy it to the full and yeah ..pang-tangal na din ng stress dahil napapatawa tayo at naki-heckle na din ! Looking forward for more blogs from PH.

13 05 2010
Jaime

@ Gibo-but-not-Teodoro:
I think there’s no problem with Heckler’s choice of jokes. I could feel that he is nationalistic and all – and that he advances issues more than ‘perceived’ physical defects of persons concerned. I have always felt that this blog is ‘above’ other humor sites because of the author’s ‘sense of justice’ and ‘pupose’. The problem is more about how some of his readers ‘take’ the jokes. :)

Heckler, I want to believe that you are not heckling for heckling’s sake. That in one way or another you are here to douse a bottle of cold water to our collective consciousness as Filipinos. But of course, I maybe wrong. Or that i am expecting too much from you.

(sorry for rationalizing too much.hahaha)

12 05 2010
timpaul

Oh, simon (C’mon) , nagsasaya kami dito, ba’t kami pakikialaman. Kun sabagay, maimpluensya ka na talaga, prof. Alam ko na bakit friends kayo ni Chiz. hehe! Sorry, near-sighted nga pala sya.

12 05 2010
checkmate

awts, di pa nagsisimula magkalat si noynoy, umaangal ka na, kung gusto ni noynoy na wag maisulat dito, dapat bantayan nya ikinikilos nya at ayusin nya ung pamamalakad nya. besides, naghangad sya maging presidente ng pilipinas plus ung campaign nya na daang matuwid, sana naisip nya na mataas expectations ng mga tao sa kanya ^^

saka last one, eto na nga lang ang di bias na pinagbabasahan ko ng current events, gusto mo pa mawala? grabe naman ‘PR’ people ni noynoy, di pa nagsisimula, gusto na kaagad masuppress ang freedom of expression…

12 05 2010
DEL

Don’t visit this site if you can’t take the humor. He is just making fun of what actually happened, it may be satirical, but this is not editorial, you know(pacman accent).

12 05 2010
Zalds

oh come one gibo_bnt..

masyado ka namang seryoso.

aaminin ko, ang boss ko ay isang favorite subject ni PG dito (btw PH, ayaw mo talagang tantanan si bosing ha, binanggit mo pa rin above, hehehe.. pero ok lang.. newsmaker naman talaga nung campaign.. kaya nga runner-up sa isang award mo eh)

going back, kahit anong tirade sa kanya (ni PH atbp) it did not undermine his position.. bcoz he performs well the duties our constituents tasked to him.

Nasa performance yan boss.. kung magaling ka, non-issue na yang “undermining”

12 05 2010
LIVINGSAINT

Naku, if you don’t want to be criticized or made fun of, then you should not be in limelight. Given na yun, that if you are in public, people will scrutinize and heckle your every move. And c’mon, we are all intelligent(assuming! hehehehe) beings here. we know the difference between a satire and a fact.

12 05 2010
The Amateur Heckler

si bill clinton magaling na presidente (professionaly), pero grabe jokes sa kanya. magmumukhang corny si PH kung compare mo ung mga hecklings sa kanya.

saka mga pinoy tayo. tumatawa kahit ano mangyari. neck deep floodwaters na nga, nagtatawanan pa.

ok lang yan! tawanan na!

13 05 2010
jianne

gibo_but_not_teodoro, gawa ka na lang kaya ng anti-PH site or Prof Heckler buster?

Anyway, tingnan nyo nga pala to, puro INC ba taga Montalban? Almost 100% votes ni Noy, ni Mar and his party lists. The rests 0. Nada

http://electionresults.ibanangayon.ph/res_reg5808111.html

http://electionresults.ibanangayon.ph/res_reg5808112.html

http://electionresults.ibanangayon.ph/res_reg5808113.html

http://electionresults.ibanangayon.ph/res_reg5808114.html

13 05 2010
professionalheckler

gusto kong bumisita sa rodriguez, rizal. lahat yata sa kanila, INC. pero, hahanga ka rin sa kanila. talagang masunurin!

14 05 2010
checkmate

so much for God given freewill, buti na lang hawak ko pa pag-iisip ko hehehe ^^

12 05 2010
Belisema

Sa mga gustong tumakbo next eleksyon……..

….sa Ladlad na kayo magpa-endorse. Tingnan nyo…Winona Ryder sina Noynoy at Binay na kapwa loves ng Ladlad…at talbog ang endorse ni Pstr Quiboloy (Gibo-Mar) at INC (Noy-Mar), CBCP (JC sino ba yun?), El Shaddai (secret bet si Manny V), Jesus is Lord (Bro Eddie) at Jehovah’s Witness (Dick Gordon…eh kaso bawal boboto ang mga jehovah’s)…at hunger strike party (Jamby Madrigal)….

at please…wag na kayong mag-propose ng kasal sa wawawi…. or mamigay ng bahay sa wawawi….dhil pagtataksilan kayo ng panahon…..Luz Valdez kayo sa eleksyon!!!

12 05 2010
buboy

flukok!

12 05 2010
checkmate

nyahaha kulet ng comment ni sir/maam belisema ^^

12 05 2010
Smile

waaahahahahahahahahahahaha….
enjoy.

12 05 2010
kalokah

maybe you’re @pcosmachine.
me interview si @pcosmachine with tjmanotoc this morning on ch23 ata.

sayang di ko mapanood. if ikaw nga yun, pls post d interview on youtube.

12 05 2010
armie of words

Haha. I fell off the chair laughing! Nice, nice. Hahaha. In the next few years of media coverages, reporters would be sitting in the newscasters’ bench or that bullets from terrorists will pass through the network crew. Winner! :D

12 05 2010
kalokah

i really thought you are @pcosmachine.
after following @pcos… i finally conlude (see pic):

or here – http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1276/4600186279_29fd8370e_o.jpg

12 05 2010
Worried Pinoy

Proceeding to PLAN B. Ayusin na ulit ang Migration papers…

12 05 2010
i'm no angel

i’m so flabbergasted as to why many voters still chose those useless movie stars in the senate. hindi na ba tayo madadala?

12 05 2010
muntingtinig

oo nga. parang ikaw si pcos machine! :D

12 05 2010
raul

`Trailing his eight rivals in the official counting, Ang Kapatiran Party standard-bearer JC De Los Reyes has also conceded defeat. K.´

Natatawa naman ako dito, parang halos hindi na pansin ang pagconcede. too bad, what happen to CBCP endorsement?!

12 05 2010
checkmate

nyahaha kulet ng usapan nina noynoy at binay ^^

sana naman ngayong may achievements na si noynoy, madugtungan naman sana yun ng accomplishments ^^

12 05 2010
Anonymous

” Monitoring Gibô on ANC, Noynoy Aquino inexplicably had a nosebleed.” – hahaha, winner !!!!

12 05 2010
Joe Seguerra

With the victory of Noynoy, we could write a book with suggested titles:

1. For every death, a victory
2. For every death, a presidency

Sa pagkamatay ni Ninoy, naging presidente si Cory.
Sa pagkamatay ni Cory, naging presidente si Noynoy.

12 05 2010
paul

Naku pagnamatay si Noynoy, si Josh na presidente.

13 05 2010
checkmate

nyahaha ^^ guys hinay-hinay daw sa joshua jokes, may mga nababasa ako na umaangal, siguro meron silang kapamilya na special, intindihin na lang natin…

12 05 2010
etchosera

sa pagkamatay ng kuko ko sa paa, di na ako makapag-chinelas. Hmmmp!

13 05 2010
promdi

perfect, joe! pangtext ito!

14 05 2010
paul

Its no Joke. People voted for noy and erap. They will surely vote fot Josh when his time comes.

15 05 2010
checkmate

nyahahaha yun lang, siguro naman wala na ako sa pilipinas pag nangyari na yun ^^

12 05 2010
imbe

Prof.Heckler,I don’t know if this will be a Sad news for you but…..

Kris will leave the country “Daw” if ever Noynoy wins…..

12 05 2010
Haide

Hello Mr. Heckler!

Parang napapanahon na para sa part 2 ng Top 10 messages left on Korina Sanchez’s answering machine!

=)

12 05 2010
professionalheckler

soon!

12 05 2010
timpaul

Prof, wag kalimutan, may answering machine din si mar ha? at si villar, si ecv, si gordon, at yung dalawa pa nakalimutan ko.

12 05 2010
professionalheckler

hahahahahha! sige. will keep that in mind. thanks.

13 05 2010
Anonymous

waiting for this also!

12 05 2010
The Amateur Heckler

NOY-MAR na talaga ! NOYnoy & jejoMar !

12 05 2010
michelle rivera

pcosmachine in twitter is Yves Randolph Gonzales bartopnotcher 2009

12 05 2010
Joma

as always, your humor and wit are tops Mr. PH.

i received this text message:
si Erap di pa daw nagcconcede kasi he believes siya ang nanalo kasi sabi ng PCOS machine, Congratulations!!!

12 05 2010
buboy

Parang nakikini-kinita ko si Kris talking to Korina,

“Sana, nung pinapalitan mo ang pisngi mo, eh pinatanggal mo na rin ang balat mo sa puwet. You’re so malas, Mare! Aha aha aha!”

12 05 2010
kristetaklesa

first lady na sana sya ngayon kung pinatos nya lang si Noy noon.

12 05 2010
magz

acosta can kick jay sonza’s butt for kicking him out of the party. he’s earning more votes than sonza. hehe

in fairness, we should thank you PH. aside from the entertainment, you’re giving us a favor by keeping an eye to these government officials behaving badly and foolishly. although, I sometimes think they do that on purpose, just so they will end up in your blog. free publicity nga naman. =)

12 05 2010
Zalds

PH, this is for your reference in your future articles. Isa ito sa mga basehan ng angal ni Binay ngayon na “dinadaya or dadayain” daw sya

http://electionresults.ibanangayon.ph/res_reg5808111.html

go to president and vice president’s results :)

12 05 2010
professionalheckler

thanks zalds!

13 05 2010
Zalds

ur welcome sir :)

let the “bidding” begins, kung wala kang pera.. umangal ka na lang sa media, hehehe

12 05 2010
mbw

talagang hilarious ka, PH…Congratulations as the PCOS machine wrote :-D Help me get over Gloria’s latest shenanigan!—Corona-ng itim! Grabe!

12 05 2010
otakujade

I loved the hologram thingie on GMA actually better, performance-wise than the one at ABS pero sure in few days or even weeks they’ll be able to catch up. Actually, minsan mas exciting pa yung war of the networks kesa politics.

As for the landslide win of Noynoy, well I just hope he’ll be able to justify the confidence of those who voted for him during his term…

12 05 2010
mae23md

buti na lang NOynoy ran and won or else si erap uli president natin!

13 05 2010
BAROK

Yep…dami pa rin ____ sa atin.

12 05 2010
mel

mas enjoy siguro panoorin yung mga “hologram” effects ng dos at syete kung naka star wars costume yung mga lalabas. imagine pinky webb as princess lea (naka iron bikini). si jessica soho … pwede jaba d hutt.

13 05 2010
jashe

har! har! har! :D

13 05 2010
edong_makabayan

napansin ko lang sa picture ni noynoy habang nagsusulat nakabuka ang bunganga niya….bakit????

wala bang magpapatunay na magaling na pinoy IT na wala talagang daya ang pcos machine at ang ginamit na mahiwagan memory card??? me possibilities na me magic ito dahil gawa sa ibang bansa ang machines at doon namanipulate…lahat na dadaan sa pera.

sure sang katutak na heckling ang mangyayari dahil very interesting subject si noynoy at ang kanyang bagong administration plus ang lumang administration ni congresswoman gloria and peoples champ congressman pacquiao.

13 05 2010
john

hello edong,

yang iyong mga katanungan eh pagkagaganda! kaya lamang eh mali ka yata ng nagpagtatanungan… isangguni mo muna kaya ang mga yan sa iyong kapitan barangay. maliban nalaang kung iaasa mo pa ang mga sagot niyan kay PH. :)

13 05 2010
checkmate

parang may kilala akong ganyan ang choice of words at use of punctuations…^^

13 05 2010
BAROK

Si Worried_Pinoy ata…

13 05 2010
senior60

nasabi na nila ang lahat kaya, wala na akong masabi..

aayy mayroon pala, kaunti….

sa lahat ng mga noynoy die-hards…

huwag kayong ma offend/magalit if noynoy gets criticized
because this will help him become a greater person, let us
be the equalizers, hindi mabuti yung palagi tayong papuri
ng papuri, baka akalain ni noynoy tama lahat ng kanyang
ginagawa….

actually, there are things that may seem trivial but of utmost
importance, like for example, he should learn how to speak
spontaneously sa mga easy subject matters at tsaka huwag
syang palaging nagnganganganga….

sana may nagbabasa dito na mga advisers ni noynoy para
makakakuha sila ng ideas on which aspects noynoy needs
improvements, personality aspect specifically, so that when
he gets out of the country, he will make our country proud…

13 05 2010
senior60

uuyyy worried pinoy, saan ka pupunta, ngayon pa na

nanalo na si noynoy at let us give him ample time to lead

us to a brighter tomorrow…

pero, kung talagang hindi ka na mapipigilan, ang importante,

don’t forget to blog kahit saan ka pa dadalhin ng kapalaran

mo…

later na ang mga good lucks and best wishes if you are already

leaving, just keep us posted…

13 05 2010
Worried Pinoy

Dont worry senior60, Ang blogsite na ito ang unang makakaalam pag wala na ko dito sa “Pilipinas kong mahal”. Hindi naman sa pagiging negative pero come to think of it, Bong Revilla tops the senatorial race, Jinggoy Estrada?? LITO LAPID???? TITO SOTTO??????? Gloria is now a congresswoman??? kasama na si Imelda Marcos. We know for a fact kung ano ang purpose ni Gloria pero si IMELDA, ano gagawin nun sa congress???? They are the same people that will supposedly uphold and create new laws for the country. Mangmang na lang ang naniniwala sa kanila and the sad part is, milyon pa sila. Nyeta na yan, ginawa na talagang showbiz extension ang gubyerno.

13 05 2010
Leilani

My first visit here.
Hilarious, entertaining, and reading between the lines
gave my atrophying senses a jolt, haha! Election has
left me needing to catch up on some sleep. You just
kept me from getting more today. So worth it!

So I have preface what I am about to say with lacking sleep
so me excuse kung baga…..

Correct me, please…but here goes:

I heard last that Erap is trailing by 5million votes and that
there are still 6million votes to be factored in. Granted, widespread
cheating has not happened. Bantayan. Desperate peeps resort to
desperate measures. Now the moled goblin is fixing to
appoint one of her minions, Corona to replace Puno who is retiring
on 5/17?? What the hey>??!!! Garapal to the nth degree…

Best from California,
Leilani

13 05 2010
professionalheckler

welcome to my world leilani! thanks for the visit

13 05 2010
Leilani

ooopppss excuse I meant “PREFACED”

13 05 2010
waraywaray

Before election day, I received a sample ballot along with bills amounting to 700 pesos. (Yes vote buying is very much rampant in Region 8 and can even go up to P10,000 per voter, but that’s another issue.) The big surprise was, the sample ballot was bearing the names of local Lakas-Kampi candidates but the president and vice-pres were Manny Villar and Loren Legarda along with some non-Lakas senatoriables as well.. hmmm

13 05 2010
suskupo

Sana hindi madaya si Binay! Kumakalat na ang galamay ni Roxas…dadayain si Binay!

13 05 2010
brianitus

Mr. PH, any plans on taking your material sa TV? Maiba naman ang humor on TV.

13 05 2010
professionalheckler

there have been offers. but that’s a long story. :-)

13 05 2010
brianitus

Gawin na lang short story. :)

Cheers!

Keep on Heckling!

13 05 2010
religiousboy

La namang perpektong tao. We who voted for Noynoy knew he was far from perfect but we had our own reasons for voting for him, just like what you had with yours. Will Noynoy live up to our every bit of expectations? We also don’t know!

Pero kung gusto niyo ng perpektong kandidato para sa pangulo — matalino, hindi corrupt, talagang galing sa mahirap, aalagaan ka, makadiyos, hindi nakanganga, gagawin LAHAT ng pinangako niya, walang kapatid na taklesa, etc. etc. ang iboto niyo sa susunod….. isang monk or santo! Jejeje….

13 05 2010
brianitus

Ngayon ko lang napansin kung sino yung kamukha ni Noynoy sa pics nya sa post ni PH. Kung may nakakaalala dun sa kumakalat sa email dati na mga pictures na “Lockjaw” yun ang kamukha ni Noy.

13 05 2010
JR Lopez Gonzales

Oo nga naman, PH.
That would surely be great.
If reporters would cite you in some of their blah-blahs, why would you not have your own show?

The Professional Heckler Show.
Wow, that would surely be great.
Political satyre (and heckling) at its best. :-)

13 05 2010
checkmate

sir ph parang naguguluhan ako sa survey question mo about sir corona…

14 05 2010
senior60

religiousboy

dalawa lang naman ang ipinangako ni noynoy sa atin,

ang dalhin tayo sa the land of promise and to go after

arroyo, kaya sa palagay ko matutupad nya ito dahil, yun

na nga, dalawa lang…

14 05 2010
senior60

worried pinoy

kung hindi mo pa naumpisahan plan b mo, huwag mo na

lang kaya umpisahan, kasi, nararamdaman ko, nararamdaman

talaga, na, mahal mo ang pilipinas mong mahal, so, why leave?

remember, there is no place like home, like the philippines,

the pot of gold you are looking for is right here, sa tabi-tabi mo

lang….

huwag mo ng intindihin ang showbiz gov’t, natin, andyan na yan,

wala na tayong magagawa but to live with it, mga voters din naman

ang may kasal-anan kung bakit sila nandoon….

17 05 2010
ngekngek

Who was Quiboloy talking to really when he got the mandate from heaven? Did God make a mistake or was he talking to someone else?

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