PINOY POLITICS 2010: Modern Election Terms
Bloc Voting
See Iglesia ni Cristo.
Campaign
A series of planned deception to get someone elected
Celebrity endorser
A prominent tool of deception
Defeated candidate
He who cries fraud
First-Termer
Vulture in the making
Flying voter
A person who exercises suffrage repeatedly as a means of livelihood
Governor
Just recently, an elective official whose term ends two months before the elections
May also refer to a defeated candidate who wins a recount; Duration of term is two months or less
House of Representatives
Crocodile farm
Iglesia ni Cristo
See Bloc Voting.
Maverick politician
What Joker Arroyo has become less of
Miting De Avance
Culminating activity of a circus
Liberal recruit
A turncoat
Mudslinging
What Liberals and Nacionalistas enjoy doing most
Nacionalista recruit
See Liberal recruit.
Noontime show
For politicians, the best place to pop the question to your girlfriend
Padyak (Pedicab)
A campaign tool with cringing effect resulting in disastrous survey performance
Partido Lakas-Kampi-CMD recruit
There’s no such thing.
Permit to campaign
A fund-raising concept in the countryside originated by Jose Maria Sison and his cohorts
Also known as ‘extortion’
Platform
Recycled promises in written form
Political ad
Half-truths presented in creative form
Political party
Source of funds
(The) Poor
Campaign paraphernalia in human form
Pork Barrel
A totally harmless budget with the purest and noblest of intentions until it is allocated to lawmakers
2010 Presidential forum
An organized debate where Villar-bashing has a time limit
Recount
Spend at your own risk
Reelectionist
A politician who has yet to recover the amount he spent in the previous elections
Vegetarian
A lawmaker who doesn’t know the price of “galunggong” and doesn’t eat eggs
———-
IN CASE you haven’t heard, Kris Aquino has been discharged from the Makati Medical Center. She was given a clean bill of health after she slipped in the shower last week. She was confined for almost five days after that fall.
Breaking News! I am now verifying reports that Kris’ brother, Sen. Noynoy Aquino was admitted to the same hospital yesterday… after his trust rating fell.
Pulse Asia Survey
According to a recent Pulse Asia survey, Nacionalista Party standard-bearer Manuel Villar Jr. is the most trusted presidential candidate. Villar is so trustworthy even President Arroyo trusts him.
Pulse Asia Survey II
A Pulse Asia survey revealed that Sen. Noynoy Aquino’s trust rating dropped by 8 percentage points. If it’s any consolation, the trust rating of Baby James is up by 10 points.
Pulse Asia Survey III
The latest Pulse Asia survey said 74 percent of Filipinos wouldn’t vote for a candidate endorsed by President Arroyo… to which Gilbert Teodoro said, “Malas naman ni Villar!”
Light Bites
Q: What did former Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye tell the press when he was asked about the race for president?
A: “The president has two presidential bets: one is real, the other is fake.”
Loren and Manny
The Philippine Daily Inquirer reported that Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. held Sen. Loren Legarda’s hand during an interview prompting the vice presidential bet to quip, “Napaka-sweet talaga ng presidente ko.” Reporters covering the event were surprised to hear the compliment since it marked the first time that Loren uttered such flattering remark to a man below 64 years old.
Warmest Day
Weather experts reported that the hottest day of the year so far was recorded on Feb. 24, Wednesday afternoon at 34.5 degrees Celsius. It was so hot yesterday, Manny Villar went swimming in a sea of garbage!
Warmest Day II
According to PAGASA, the hottest day of the year so far was recorded on Wednesday afternoon at 34.5 degrees Celsius. Rumors say Noynoy Aquino and the Liberal Party are alarmed by the report. With Noynoy’s temperature currently at 36.5, they are now statistically tied.
——————————
“A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.”
~James Freeman Clarke
thanks to your wit, nawal ang stress ko. keep on writing.
Dami tinamaan ah, but this one I like the most…
A: “The president has two presidential bets: one is real, the other is fake.”
been checking your site since morning for new post. as usual, you made me crazy laughing alone again.. thanks..
Accurate talaga yung “crocodile farm”…have a nice day ,PH!!!!
loren and vicky belo are poles apart. loren has hots for lolos while vicky is a cradle snatcher.
care giver and cradle snatcher
care giver and nanny (takot ako!)
Campaign fund
An easy way to get rich, aside from getting married…
Parepost po to and also your future posts…tnx
Effective communication…when “infomercials” are STRONGER than the TRUTH! Look at the VILLAR advertisements…”he will ERADICATE POVERTY because he knows how to do it and because hewas once POOR”!!!
Ebumali — init yata ulo mo. Anyway, magaling ka ba sa math? Paki-check nga kung tama ito:
FACT— VILLAR HAS A MINIMUM OF 40 TV SPOTS A DAY AT A COST OF P10 MILLION EVERY DAY THE PAST 5 MONTHS FOR A TOTAL COST OF P1.5 BILLION – AND THAT IS NOT COUNTING HIS EXPENSES ON RADIO, DOLPHY, WILLLIE REVILLAME ETC, ETC. AND THE ELECTION OFFICIAL CAMPAIGN PERIOD HAS NOT EVEN STARTED – THEY SAY HIS BUDGET IS P20 BILLION AND ALL FOR A JOB THAT PAYS P200 THOUSAND A YEAR!
QUESTION — HE SAYS HE IS A GOOD BUSINESSMAN – AND IF HE IS, I WONDER WHERE HE EXPECTS TO GET HIS RETURN ON HIS AT LEAST P20 MILLION INVESTMENT. WHAT KIND OF RETURN WILL VILLAR EXPECT- GIVEN THE HIGH RISK OF THIS UNDERTAKING, HE PROBABLY EXPECTS A GOOD RETURN – MAYBE DOUBLE OR TRIPLE HIS MONEY IN SIX YEARS SAY, TO P60 BILLION.
QUESTION — WHERE CAN HE GET THAT RETURN —- TOTAL ESTIMATED BUDGET OF THE GOVERNMENT OVER THE NEXT 6 YEARS IS P10 TRILLION WITH ABOUT P1 TRILLION DISCRETIONARY – IF VILLAR MAKES C5 AND TAGA ON THE P1TRILLION OF 20% … HMMMMM.. THAT’S P200 BILLION ON AN INVESTMENT OF P20 BILLION – HMMM VILLAR IS ONE SMART BUSINESSMAN.
QUESTION — WHAT’S THE IMPACT ON THE POOR? – P200 BILLION THAT WILL CONSERVATIVELY BE LOST TO CORRUPTION AS A PAYBACK TO VILLAR’s CAMPAIGN EXPENSES CAN PAY FOR 40,000 CLASSROOMS TO SOLVE THE SHORTAGE PLUS, CREATE A MICRO LENDING FUND THAT CAN GENERATE 3.2 MILLION JOBS – CORRUPTION IS THE CAUSE OF POVERTY!
Your concerns apply to all main presidential contenders because they all spent money. Its just a matter of degree. But it does not follow that those who spent less are expecting less return. That Villar has a huge war chest means that he had a plan and was prepared for this camapign. Hindi namatatayan lang ng kamganak, tumakbo na
Hindi pwedeng ikumpara ang 20billion na magagasto sa campaign sa 200K na sweldo kung maging presidente ka, ang pagtupad sa pangarap ng isang tao ay walang katumbas na halaga. At hindi mo masusukat sa kayamanan ang success ng isang tao.
How can someone proclaim to be pro-poor when he is unwilling to spend the billions of pesos on the poor that he is now so willingly spending to finance his ambitions?
YUN LANG.
“political ad”: Lies, lies, lies, presented in created form!
Yup, if you watched Noy’s ads ranting against poverty, poor governance and money going to the pockets of the rich, you would think he wasreferring to Hacienda Luisita.
love it love it love it
may twitter na si kris. i wonder kung sya talaga yun?
may oras pa ba siya para diyan sa dami ng acivities niya?
dami mong talent mister heckler, to name a few,
composer; fortune teller: sketch artist and now,
ewan ko ano tawag doon sa gumagawa ng mga
word meanings or vocabulary…
paging topdog, pakitulungan mo ako….
pwdeng sumagot ang hindi si topdog? hehe
baka pwede sya tawaging terminoLOIgist ahihi
walang “like” button eh.. pero like ko ang terminoLOLgist
lexicographer?
Anyways, this blogsite has changed the landscape of my morning rituals hahaha
regarding pulse asia survey 111, ang malas naman ni gilbert,
but i like the man more, may prinsipyo, sabi nya, he will rise
or fall with his partido, hindi nya daw kailangan mag drama
para lang manalo, natuto na rin tumira hahaha
but its really sad, akala ko noon ang may ganuong thinking
lang ay ang mga taga squatter or the uneducated, hindi pala…
pero kung tutuusin din, ang around 1,800 respondents ba iyun
is not the whole voting populace kaya may pag-asa pa….
Hahahaha…you are the best !
First-Termer
Vulture in the making !
nice blog as always. i’ve already copied it and forwarded to my friends this morning. anyway, a friend has suggested the ff page: ph.politicalarena.com . i’m not sure if u’ve seen it already. it gives some info abt the candidates particularly on their views/stand on various issues.
Okay sana si Gibo — if not for his record of joining the IMPEACH DAVIDE gang before, and later his wife Nikki’s joining the rest of the crocodiles in the NO TO GMA IMPEACHMENT move. Baka nakakalimot tayo mga darling…
I would like to add:
Infomercials – politician’s ads before election campaign starts.
Election – a tedious process of choosing who among various candidates would most likely be less corrupt for the next six years.
Good Point Pare.. Benedicamus Deus.. Keep posting.
Hehe. Never fails to make my day.
May I contribute, prof?
Pulse asia and SWS – Survey Stalls in Quiapo.
hahaha..di nyo ba napapansin?? whoever financed the survey panalo sya?? yeah..survey stalls sa poquia haha..
magcocontribute dn po ako…
Automated Elections
Most Filipinos don’t know about it
Party-list
Any leftist or pseudo-leftist group formed either to represent a sector or to become an easier way to become a congress(wo)man. See also Automated Elections
Religious Group
Any group with known religious leader expected to endorse a presidential candidate. See also Iglesia ni Cristo, El Shaddai and Kingdom of Jesus Christ
JIL
Religious group whose leader IS a presidential candidate
Surveys
Elections held among 1200 randomly selected people to measure net result of campaigning. May or may not be bought from Quiapo.
noynoy is not his father or mother. and the principle :kung ano ang puno, siya rin ang bunga” doesn’t always apply. look at the other offspring… si Kris.
@Paul – given that Villaroyo has a big war chest, it does not still hide the question on how can he recoup his investments.
It’s but crazy to assume that businessman like Villaroyo won’t think of his ROI. We don’t by his crap na hindi nya babawiin ang ginastos nya, that’s B.S. and I know you know it.
Villaroyo is a billionaire because he was able to use his seat in power to manipulate it in order to benefit his own business…nasa Senado pa lang yan ha. What more pagka Presidente, enough of the B.S. sipag at tyaga..it should be C5 at Taga.
Ah yeah, let’s all trust Villaroyo….but wait..try watching this video
He is very trustworthy indeed and an excellent businessman at that! LOL
All Filipino politicians used political power to pursue their business interests. Even mayors and governors do it. Even Cory Aquino did it for her Hacienda. That is expected whoever will win. Silang lahat babawi at kikita pa.
Oo tama ka paul kaso nga lang ang kaibahan ng ibang pulitiko kay MV mo ay napakalaki na ng kanyang ginastos…ibig sabihin malaki rin ang kanyang babawiin.
Hindi biro ang isang Bilyon, para saan…ang makapaglingkod sa mahihirap? Ika nga, enough of this B.S.
Marcos’ and Erap’s campaign was mostly funded by contributions. But they were also the biggest looters. It is not the amount spent but the amount of greed including that of wives, mistresses and relatives.
Mr. Paul — lahat naman siguro ng mga politiko natin ay magnanakaw or may balak magnakaw, true or false? Pero kung baga sa karera, partida na kasi agad yang bata mo ng ……. ewan kung magkano na as of this writing… ng kukurakutin, gets? Don’t be mad, actually idol na idol ko yang si Nike mo, ay, si Check pala, during Erap’s impeachment na tuloy tuloy sa pagbasa sa resolution matapos magdasal, pero di po talaga malinaw ang explanation niya sa C-5
(hep, wag mo kong ituro sa website detailing his “explanation” ha?) e simpleng sagot lang naman ang gusto namin, na galing sa kanya mismo at hindi kila Remulla at Cayetano. Sana may isang presidential bet na mayroong puso ni Noynoy, talino ni Gibo, appeal ni Erap, spirituality ni Villanueva, at kwarta ni Villar.
Mr. Senior — di po mainit ang ulo ko kay ebumali or kaninuman dito sa bloggers. I wonder why you concluded that. Pakibasa po uli ang aking sinulat. Salamat.
I am just arguing that the amount of personal money spent for election is not directly correlated with the level of corruption committed once in office using historical facts. Even some generals, appointed officials and bishops enriched themselves in their positions without spending a cent in getting these. Please dont get me wrong. I am not defending Villar or any politician or endorsing any of them.
I dont understand the statement on “puso” (after vehemently defending the Luisita massacre), “appeal” (kulilat naman siya sa survey) and “spirituality” (after accumulating tremendous material wealth using the word of God). Mukhang yung talino (bar topnotcher naman kasi) lang at kuarta ( sangkatirbang ariari-an) ang may matatag na ebedinsya
Thanks PH for your blog… inaabangan ko talaga halos everyday ito.. it makes my day really good lalu na pag na share ko pa sa facebook… Keep it up so that we can learn a lot from our goverment kahit ofw lang kami.. means so much to us. God bless…
ofw lang kami? nahh. ako gusto kong maging ofw. wala lang akong time maghanap ng work sa ibang bansa.
wag po hamakin ang pagiging OFW, dapat po ipagmalaki natin dahil tayo ang bumubuhay sa naghihingalong ekonomiya ng bansa.
Religious Boy….are you a famous broadcaster????
Nope, Melo I’m not a famous broadcaster. Just famous, period.
first, thank you mavakes and josef…
secondly, religiousboy, bakit ba uminit ulo mo towards ebumali?
lastly, religiousboy again, sa akin naman, yang mga ‘kasalanan’
ni gilbert ay ‘a dot on the map’ lang, wala namang perfecto…
but he is closest to becoming the ideal president….
si gilbert lang ang magaling at matalino kagayan nina marcos
at arroyo at si gilbert hindi rin corrupt, hindi kagaya nina marcos
at arroyo….
sayang nga lang at, yun na nga….
hi senior60, actually if not for Gibo’s stated loyalty to GMA, he would have made a more palatable candidate. His close association to GMA rings warning bells with me, just as someone spending billions for his campaign rings those very same bells.
@religiousboy
your analysis and computation is good, but be consistent with the units. well, that’s understandable since (i think) it seems like you grew up in the church.
In the Pulse Asia trust rating survey, Villar came out on top. But in the Reader’s Digest
trust survey, Noynoy came out higher than Villar. Ano ba talaga kuya?
One thing I’ve learned from the trust rating suyrveys is – DON’T TRUST SURVEYS!
Just go with your conscience and gut feel. Survey companies and celebrity endorsers
can all go to hell!
hello phreddox, sige nga, what are your fears ba kung
halimbawa elected na si gilbert….
ako naman, gusto ko si noynoy as himself lang, pero sa
tingin ko, hindi talaga sya president material, sabi pa nga,
‘we cannot live by bread alone’ so is by not being corrupt
alone, we need more than that or aside from that, we need
a man who can lead at hindi ko yan nakita kay noynoy…
sabi pa nga noong isang noynoy supporter, anyway daw,
marami namang advisers, true, at kahit sinong presidente
mayroon, pero ang importante, at the end of the day, your
decision will prevail na i doubt sa case ni noynoy, mahina
kasi sya at acknowledge ito ng kanyang mga kaalyado,
kaya he will be devoured by those surrounding him…
What I’m afraid of is he will be party to more GMA shenanigans in the future.
Malaki utang na loob nya kay GMA and GMA will be another crocodile in the House of Representatives, with the possibility of being Prime Minister if her she and her allies have their way with the constitution.
I dont doubt his competence. I doubt where his loyalty lies. I dont think it’s 100% for the Filipino people. If he wins, sisingilin at sisingilin yan ni GMA at mga ka-buwaya.
Gibo and Gloria are in the same party. that’s all. whoever is the head of the party will call the shots. si Gibo ang pinuno ng Lakas ngayon.
Besides, what i’m liking about Gibo is the CONSISTENCY of his character, and his willingness to take a stand even against popular opinion. I am confident that Gibo is his own man.
sa LAHAT ng kandidato, sya lang ang nagpapakita nyan…hindi yung mahirap-kunong limpak limpak kung gumastos sa commercials, hindi yung maka-masa na ex-president na nakakakilabot pakinggan, at lalung lalo nang hindi si mister “righteous-kuno courtesy of mommy and daddy” na nakikipag-siraan at nakikipagbangayan din naman sa kapwa kandidato. shus.
Gibo is the only candidate who is confident enough to make his platform and his credits as his selling point in this campaign. he respects his voters enough, to not assume that popularity, starpower, and controversies alone will make a candidate… kahit ang “masa crowd” hindi nya tinatrato ng ganyan. for that he has my utmost respect.
Thats a very simplistic way of putting GMA and Gibo’s relationship.
“Gibo and Gloria are in the same party. that’s all.” Please.
Naive much?
religiousboy, sabi mo kasi, ” Ebumali-init yata ng ulo mo.
Anyway, magaling ka ba sa math? ” pagkatapos nag lecture ka,
kung hindi pa mainit ang ulo mo sa lagay na iyan, ewan ko na
lang, pero , ano ba kasi ang sinabi ni ebumali at uminit ulo mo….
tungkol doon sa hinahanap mo sa isang presidente:
puso= silang lahat mayroon
talino= lamang na lamang si gilbert
appeal= passe na si erap, si gilbert na ngayon
spirituality= galit anak ko kay villanueva, bakit daw
hindi na lang souls ang isalba ni villanueva
kwarta= bakit, pag nanalo ba si villar, gagamitin nya
personal money para sa welfare of the masses…
WALA as in wala phreddox, walang dapat ipagpapasalamat
si glbert kay arroyo, para pa nga itong krus na pinapasan
ni gilbert, puro ka negahan ang dulot sa candidacy ni gilbert,
pagkatapos, pag nanalo si gilbert because of his own merits,
maningil sya? ano sya, sineswerte?
arroyos’ allies had already attempted to have their way with
the constitution last year pero hindi sila nagtagumpay, nasa
pwesto pa si arroyo sa lagay na yan, then pa kaya?
at parang nonsense naman, halimbawa magiging prime minister
si arroyo, ano na ang role ni gilbert, assistant? hahaha
[...] TRUST The Professional Heckler [...]