February 27th
On this day in…

1846: Davao was in chaos. Governor-General Claveria authorized former Tondo Judge Jose Oyanguren to begin the pacification of the province. Oyanguren eventually failed. Davao only achieved peace and order after the formation of the Davao Death Squad.

1892: French luggage maker Louis Vuitton dies. One of the most moving eulogies during the requiem mass is delivered by Kris Aquino.

1912: Kusumagraj, an Indian writer is born. He has no father.

1956: For the first time, the Egyptian government allows women to vote. After voting though, female voters are marked with indelible ink on all of their 10 fingers.

1980: Chelsea Clinton is born… nine months after Bill Clinton began the only appropriate relationship he had in his entire life.

1984: Carl Lewis sets a world indoor long jump record of 8.675 meters. Twenty-two years later, Kris Aquino would set an indoor fall record of showbiz proportions.

1985: Farmers converge in Washington to demand economic relief. But the protest develops into a riot prompting Western Police District commander Alfredo Lim to order his men to shoot at the farmers.

1993: In his weekly radio address, President Bill Clinton vows to find the person responsible for the huge explosion at New York City’s World Trade Center. Seventeen years later, the US government is still searching for Osama Bin Laden

1998: The Federal Bureau of Investigation arrests suspected serial killer Tony Ray Amati, their 10th most wanted. The 11th most wanted starts celebrating… his automatic promotion.

2004: Abu Sayyaf terrorists bomb a Superferry ship killing at least 116. But that was nothing compared to the death toll in succeeding Superferry mishaps.

Thanks to the National Historical Institute, Any Day in History and Wikipedia.

Have a safe weekend!

TRUST

PINOY POLITICS 2010: Modern Election Terms

Bloc Voting
See Iglesia ni Cristo.

Campaign
A series of planned deception to get someone elected

Celebrity endorser
A prominent tool of deception

Defeated candidate
He who cries fraud

First-Termer
Vulture in the making

Flying voter
A person who exercises suffrage repeatedly as a means of livelihood

Governor
Just recently, an elective official whose term ends two months before the elections
May also refer to a defeated candidate who wins a recount; Duration of term is two months or less

House of Representatives
Crocodile farm

Iglesia ni Cristo
See Bloc Voting.

Maverick politician
What Joker Arroyo has become less of

Miting De Avance
Culminating activity of a circus

Liberal recruit
A turncoat

Mudslinging
What Liberals and Nacionalistas enjoy doing most

Nacionalista recruit
See Liberal recruit.

Noontime show
For politicians, the best place to pop the question to your girlfriend

Padyak (Pedicab)
A campaign tool with cringing effect resulting in disastrous survey performance

Partido Lakas-Kampi-CMD recruit
There’s no such thing.

Permit to campaign
A fund-raising concept in the countryside originated by Jose Maria Sison and his cohorts
Also known as ‘extortion’

Platform
Recycled promises in written form

Political ad
Half-truths presented in creative form

Political party
Source of funds

(The) Poor
Campaign paraphernalia in human form

Pork Barrel
A totally harmless budget with the purest and noblest of intentions until it is allocated to lawmakers

2010 Presidential forum
An organized debate where Villar-bashing has a time limit

Recount
Spend at your own risk

Reelectionist
A politician who has yet to recover the amount he spent in the previous elections

Vegetarian
A lawmaker who doesn’t know the price of “galunggong” and doesn’t eat eggs
———-

IN CASE you haven’t heard, Kris Aquino has been discharged from the Makati Medical Center. She was given a clean bill of health after she slipped in the shower last week. She was confined for almost five days after that fall.

Breaking News! I am now verifying reports that Kris’ brother, Sen. Noynoy Aquino was admitted to the same hospital yesterday… after his trust rating fell.

Pulse Asia Survey
According to a recent Pulse Asia survey, Nacionalista Party standard-bearer Manuel Villar Jr. is the most trusted presidential candidate. Villar is so trustworthy even President Arroyo trusts him.

Pulse Asia Survey II
A Pulse Asia survey revealed that Sen. Noynoy Aquino’s trust rating dropped by 8 percentage points. If it’s any consolation, the trust rating of Baby James is up by 10 points.

Pulse Asia Survey III
The latest Pulse Asia survey said 74 percent of Filipinos wouldn’t vote for a candidate endorsed by President Arroyo… to which Gilbert Teodoro said, “Malas naman ni Villar!”

Light Bites
Q: What did former Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye tell the press when he was asked about the race for president?
A: “The president has two presidential bets: one is real, the other is fake.”

Loren and Manny
The Philippine Daily Inquirer reported that Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. held Sen. Loren Legarda’s hand during an interview prompting the vice presidential bet to quip, “Napaka-sweet talaga ng presidente ko.” Reporters covering the event were surprised to hear the compliment since it marked the first time that Loren uttered such flattering remark to a man below 64 years old.

Warmest Day
Weather experts reported that the hottest day of the year so far was recorded on Feb. 24, Wednesday afternoon at 34.5 degrees Celsius. It was so hot yesterday, Manny Villar went swimming in a sea of garbage!

Warmest Day II
According to PAGASA, the hottest day of the year so far was recorded on Wednesday afternoon at 34.5 degrees Celsius. Rumors say Noynoy Aquino and the Liberal Party are alarmed by the report. With Noynoy’s temperature currently at 36.5, they are now statistically tied.

——————————
“A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.”
~James Freeman Clarke

AYON SA MGA BITUIN, TOO

The Stars and the
Vice Presidential Candidates

NAGAGALAK ang mga bituin sa matagumpay na first installment ng kanyang mga hula sa siyam na kandidato sa pagkapangulo.

Patunay ng tagumpay ang pagkalat ng artikulong “AYON SA MGA BITUIN” sa iba’t ibang blogs, Internet forums, social networking sites katulad ng Facebook, sa isang political TV talk show, at lalung-lalo na sa e-mail. Maging si Professional Heckler ay tumanggap ng naturang email mula sa isa niyang kamag-anak sa ibang bansa na may ganitong Subject: “Basahin mo ‘to ‘insan, nakakatawa!” Sumagot si Professional Heckler: “’Insan, are u insane? Mas patawa ka! Sa aking blog nanggaling ‘yan! Tanga!”

Sa kabila ng pagkalat at pag-ikot ng artikulong ‘yan sas cyberspace (na kadalasa’y wala man lang attribution sa orihinal na author), malaki pa rin ang pasasalamat ng mga bituin sa inyong walang sawang pagtangkilik.

Dahil diyan, nabuo ang “AYON SA MGA BITUIN, TOO” – matapang na mga hula para sa mga kandidato sa pagka-pangalawang pangulo.

Ngunit bunsod ng patuloy na pag-init ng panahon, mainit din ang ulo ng mga bituin. Prangka sila ngayon. Unahin na natin si…

Jejomar “Jojo” Binay
Puwersa ng Masang Pilipino
Born: November 11, 1941
Sign: Scorpio
Isa ka sa pinakamapalad na pulitiko sa Pilipinas ngayon. Mula 1986 ay nasa kapangyarihan ka na at ang iyong pamilya. Sinong mag-aakalang nine years old pa lamang ang unico ijo mong si Junjun nang una kang maluklok sa Republika ng Makati? Intact pa ang balat sa “junjun” ni Junjun nang magsimula ang iyong paghahari. Fast-forward to 2010, biyudo na si Junjun ngunit nasa puwesto ka pa rin. Lupet! Siguro Energizer ka, “It keeps going and going and going.” O baka naman Banco Filipino, “Subok na Matibay. Subok na Matatag.” Pero dahil ikaw ay pulitiko, malamang na-inspire ka ng Sprite, “Obey your thirst.”

Dalawampu’t apat na taon ka nang sinusuwerte. Hindi ka nakakaranas ng pagkatalo. Ngunit sabi nga ng mga kaibigan kong planeta, “There is always a first time.” At mararanasan mo ‘yan ngayong darating na Mayo.

Jose “Jay” Sonza
Kilusang Bagong Lipunan
Born: September 20, 1955
Sign: Virgo
Kung sinumang nag-udyok na ika’y tumakbo sa pagka-bise presidente ay may lihim na galit sa ‘yo. Huwag itong palampasin. Hanapin siya at papanagutin.

Mabibigo ka sa darating na eleksyon ngunit muling aangat ang iyong career sa telebisyon. Maging ang kapartido mong si Imelda Papin ay hindi rin papalarin sa pagka-senador. Bago matapos ang taon, magsasama kayo sa isang talk show, ang “Mel and Jay.”

Paalala lamang ng mga bituin: huwag na huwag huhubarin ang suot na salamin upang ‘di paghinalaang ikaw at si Binay ay iisa.

Dominador Chipeco
Ang Kapatiran Party
Born: Feb 14, 1943
Sign: Aquarius
Nahihirapang basahin ng mga bituin ang iyong kapalaran. Hindi pa sila pamilyar sa iyong personalidad. Maging ang galaw ng mga planeta ay hindi sapat upang mabigyan ka ng payo o babala kaugnay ng nalalapit na halalan. Gayunpaman, may nais iparating na mensahe sa ‘yo ang mga bituin at planeta: Belated Happy Birthday! ‘Yun lang.

Perfecto “Jun” Yasay
Bangon Pilipinas Movement
Born: Jan 27, 1947
Sign:Aquarius
Napag-alaman ng mga bituin na hindi ka raw naniniwala sa horoscope katulad ng standard-bearer mong si Bro. Eddie Villanueva na isa ring Born-Again Christian. Really?

Naku, huwag kang magsinungaling. Baka tamaan ka ng kidlat!

Bayani “BF” Fernando
Bagumbayan Party
Born: July 25, 1946
Sign: Leo
Magtatalo kayo ng kapartido mong si Richard Gordon sa mga susunod na araw. Hindi kasi siya sang-ayon sa mungkahi mong mag-install ng pink urinals sa kahabaan ng Maharlika Highway o Pan-Philippine Highway.

Magkakaroon din ng iringan ang inyong respective wives. Pagtatalunan nina Mayor Kate Gordon at Mayor Marides Fernando kung sino ang karapat-dapat gumanap bilang Megan Fox sa out-of-town campaign ng Transformers.

Eduardo “Edu” Manzano
Lakas-Kampi-CMD
Born: September 14, 1955
Sign: Virgo
Kung suwerte ang pagbabatayan, pumapangalawa ka sa kaaway mong si Jejomar Binay. Imagine, magkukunwari ka lang vice presidential candidate pero anim na beses na mas malaki ang iyong TF kumpara kay Dolphy! Saludo ang mga bituin sa ‘yong mautak at praktikal na desisyon.

May isang payo lang sa ‘yo ang mga bituin: Ingatan ang madalas na out-of-town sorties kasama si Gilbert Teodoro. Alam ng mga bituin ang iyong weakness: madali kang mag-fall. Baka ma-tsismis kayo. Ayaw ni Pinky Webb ng ganyan.

Lorna Regina “Loren” Legarda
Nationalist People’s Coalition/Nacionalista Party
Born: January 28, 1960
Sign: Aquarius
Career-wise, malabong makamit ang ambisyong maging bise-presidente sa darating na Mayo o kahit sa taong 2016 o 2022. Balewalain ang sulsol ng isang matandang senador na minsan na ring nagbitiw sa ‘yo ng linyang, “Don’t give up, love.” Unang-una, hindi birong matalo sa dalawang sunod na eleksyon. At pangalawa, may asawang tao na ang senador na ‘yun. Anong love, love ang pinagsasasabi niya d’yan! Tumigil s’ya!

Dahil sa bigong kandidatura sa ilalim ng NPC/NP alliance, mapapaluhod, mapapapikit, at mapapausal ka ng ganitong panalangin: “Lord, promise, last na talaga ito. Huwag sana kayong magalit. Gusto ko namang itry ang Partido Liberal.”

Manuel “Mar” Roxas II
Liberal Party
Born: May 13, 1957
Sign: Taurus
Maraming vibrations ang mga stars tungkol sa pagsasama n’yo ni Madam Korina. Ngunit baka hindi mo magustuhan ang mga ito at masabihan mo pa ang mga bituin, “I demand that that be removed from the horoscope section! That is an affront to my wife.“

Delikado. Baka mag-demand na naman ng apology si Korina.

So ito na lang: Mag-ingat ka sa pro-Binay faction sa Liberal Party. Tumitira sila nang patalikod. Unless, trip mo ‘yun.
—————————-

At sa inyong lahat, laging tandaan ang paalala ni Zenaida “Syzygy” Seva:
“Hindi hawak ng mga bituin ang ating kapalaran. Gabay lamang sila. Meron tayong free will, gamitin natin ito.”

Ulitin natin. Pero mas malakas. “Hindi hawak ng mga bituin ang ating…”

Aba, aba, aba at talagang uulitin mo nga. Masunurin ka talaga.

Tama na.

Have a safe and productive week!

Photos were taken from the Facebook accounts of the candidates.
———-
Survey Says
Ilang kandidato sa pagka-senador ang iyong iboboto sa May 10?
12, para sulit ang boto! 36%
Hmm, less than 6. 27%
Wala! Punyeta silang lahat! 36%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal
Maraming salamat sa lahat ng kumentong iniiwan n’yo sa blog na ito. Positibo man o negatibo, go lang nang go! I rarely reply to your comments but that doesn’t mean na balewala sa akin ang inyong reaksyon. I appreciate you more than I appreciate our bishops. (Ano raw?) Go Secretary Cabral!

February 22nd
On this date in…

1512: Amerigo Vespucci, the Italian explorer who discovered the New World dies at 57. The cause of his death has yet to be discovered.

1561: William of Orange is appointed viceroy of Burgundy. He then weds Wendy of Violet who was recently appointed vicereine of Magenta.

1630: English settlers in America discover how to make popcorn. In the hope of earning profit from their new discovery, the settlers begin to discover how to make movie theaters.

1774: The English House of Lords rules authors do not have perpetual copyright. The Ilocos Times agrees.

1903: Due to drought, the US side of Niagara Falls runs short of water. Angelo Reyes then warns of rotating brownouts. Two days later, he flip-flops and assures that there will be enough power supply in the country.

1971: Award-winning Filipina singer and actress Lea Salonga is born. Baby Lea’s first cry surprises everyone in the room because it had an American twang.

1980: Afghanistan declares martial law… after a fake ambush on Juan Ponce Enrile in Kandahar.

1986: An estimated two million people begin converging at the historic Epifanio De Los Santos Avenue or Edsa as the bloodless People Power Revolution in the Philippines begins. The gathering of people at Edsa results in a ginormous traffic jam – a problem that will remain unsolved by the MMDA 24 years later.

1997: Scientists in Roslin, Scotland announce that an adult sheep named Dolly has been successfully cloned.
1997: Scientists in Roslin, Scotland announce that an adult sheep named Dolly has been successfully cloned.
————————————
“The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
~ William James

Thanks to BBC On this Day, Any-Day-in-History, and Wikipedia.

APOLOGIES

Tiger Woods’ Apology
Golfer Tiger Woods, who has been pilloried by the press for his extra-marital affairs has made a public apology. The opening line of his 14-minute statement was: “Four whores and seven years ago…”

Did you catch CNN’s live coverage of Tiger Woods’ public apology Friday night? Reading from a prepared statement, the golfer repeatedly apologized. He said sorry to his wife. He said sorry to his kids. He said sorry to his fans. He said sorry to his mother. He said sorry to his sponsors. He said sorry to everyone. In fact, he also said sorry for talking to an unnamed Comelec official and called it a lapse in judgment.

Three months after a car crash outside his Florida home, golfer Tiger Woods has made a public apology… after which, his staff gathered around him, and with Dinky Soliman leading, they sang, “If We Hold On (Together).”

Golf superstar Tiger Woods makes a televised public apology for his “irresponsible and selfish behavior.” Woods decided to finally break his silence on the issue of cheating on the advise of the civil society.

Tiger Woods finally breaks his silence and makes a televised public apology. But despite his “I am sorry” speech, Woods was abandoned by the Hyatt 10.

Light Bites
Q: What’s the difference between Tiger Woods’ “I am sorry” statement and President Arroyo’s “I am sorry” speech?
A: Woods admitted to cheating

In Other News
The El Niño Phenomenon
PAGASA says Luzon dams are nearing critical levels due to El Niño. To give you an idea how alarming the situation has become, even Sen. Manny Villar was compelled to revise his “dagat ng basura” ad. It now goes…
“Natutuyot na nga ang dagat ng basura
Maligo ka na lang sa tubig ng labada
‘Yan ang hamon namin
Kaya ko ‘yan, kayanin mo rin!”

Fishkill
The Bureau of Fisheries and Aquatic Resources is looking into reports of fishkill due to the El Niño phenomenon. The reported fishkill has alarmed congressmen and senators except for Jamby Madrigal who’s “a vegetarian.”

Pampanga Polls
I am not sure where the news originated but some quarters are claiming that actor Mark Lapid actually won the 2007 gubernatorial race in Pampanga. You now have three people claiming victory: Among Ed Panlilio, Lilia Pineda, and Mark Lapid – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Belated!
Earlier this month, Sen. Noynoy Aquino turned 50 years old. Fifteen more years, and Loren Legarda will find him “interesting.”

Q&A No. 1: Ito ang kanilang sagot.

Ano kaya ang posibleng tanong:
A: Dapat bang patalsikin sa Senado si Sen. Manny Villar?
B: Dapat pa bang paniwalaan ng mga tao si dating pangulong Joseph Estrada?
C: Naniniwala ba kayong vegetarian si Sen. Jamby Madrigal?
D: Totoo kayang bading si Piolo Pascual?

Q&A No. 2: Ito ang kanilang sagot.

Ano kaya ang posibleng tanong:
A: Tama ba ang public perception na pro-Noynoy Aquino ang mga Lopezes at ang ABS-CBN?
B: Naniniwala ba kayong friends na nga sina Kris Aquino at Shalani Soledad?
C: Kung mananalo kayo bilang pangulo, will you prosecute GMA?
D: Dapat bang paniwalaan ang tsismis na regular ang pagpapa-botox injection ni Senator Villar?
E: Mag-on na kaya sina Kim at Gerald?

——————————–
“True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive.“
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Survey Says
On the reported Noynoy-Villar one-on-one debate. Your take:
Exciting ‘yan! Can’t wait! 22%
Bakit sila lang? Sila lang ba ang kandidato? 38%
Sige… magsiraan kayo! 40%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

February 18th
On this date in…

1899: American forces bombard and occupy the province of Iloilo. Every revolutionary leader is captured except for Miriam Defensor-Santiago who was fortunately in Capiz at the time… campaigning with Manny Villar and Loren Legarda.

1930: American astronomer Clyde Tombaugh discovers Pluto. Originally considered as the Solar System’s ninth planet, in 2006, the International Astronomical Union decided that Pluto is not a planet… and that Tombaugh is neither American nor an astronomer.

1951: Three basketball players from the City College of New York admit to game-fixing. Following their expulsion, they transferred to the College of St. Benilde along Taft Avenue in Manila.

1985: Pop duo Wham’s single “Careless Whisper” tops the charts. The song became an instant favorite of then five-year-old Hayden Kho.

Thanks to Filipiniana.Net, BBC On this Day and Brainy History.

1-ON-1

FEBRUARY 17, Ash Wednesday marks the first day of Lent. So don’t be surprised at Napocor’s announcement that power rates are set to soar. Simula na ng Mahal na Araw.

One on One
Have you heard of the planned face-off between presidential candidates Noynoy Aquino and Manny Villar? The Liberal Party and the Nacionalista Party refer to it as a debate. I call it trending.

Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. has accepted Sen. Noynoy Aquino’s challenge for a one on one debate. However, the two parties couldn’t agree on the venue for the planned showdown. Noynoy wants to do it at SCTEx; Villar prefers C-5 Road.

Sen. Noynoy Aquino has dared Sen. Manuel Villar to a one on one debate. Villar accepted the challenge and asked Noynoy to “name the place, name the time, and I will be there” – to which Gilbert Remulla, Adel Tamano and Alan Peter Cayetano chorused, “Ows? Promise?!?”

Sen. Jamby Madrigal has also expressed interest in joining the highly anticipated debate. The lady senator reiterates she’s ready to debate anytime with anybody… except for Judy Ann Santos.

Noynoy Cries ‘Bias’
Sen. Noynoy Aquino accuses debate moderator, journalist Antonio Lopez of bias for Sen. Manny Villar during Tuesday’s presidential forum organized by the Philippine Chamber of Commerce and Industry. An awkward moment ensued when an annoyed Noynoy asked Lopez, “Who do you think you are, Ted Failon?”

Top 5 Signs that Moderator Antonio Lopez Was Biased Against Noynoy Aquino During Tuesday’s Presidential Forum

No. 5: While Villar was answering a question, Lopez interrupted him twice and said, “That’s right!” and “Exactly!” While Noynoy was answering a question, Lopez interrupted him twice and said, “Yeah right!” and “Whateverrrr, bitch!”

No. 4: After asking a question, Lopez would inform Noynoy, “You have two minutes to answer.” After asking a question, Lopez would inform Villar, “Take your time and think of an answer.”

No. 3: During his opening, Lopez introduced Villar as “the next president” and introduced Noynoy, as “the next rap star.”

No. 2: During his closing, Lopez praised Villar for his humility; applauded Gordon for his honesty; commended Gibô for his wits, and envied Noynoy for his new Berluti shoes.

And the No. 1 sign that PCCI forum moderator Antonio Lopez was biased against Noynoy…

Whenever Noynoy has answered a question, Lopez would ask the crowd, “Naniniwala ba kayo?” And whenever Villar has answered a question, Lopez would ask them, “Wala ba kayong mga kamay?”

In Other News…
Trillanes Can Post Bail
A Makati City judge has granted the request of detained senator Antonio Trillanes for temporary liberty. No wonder, security has been heightened at The Manila Peninsula.

DOH and Condoms
Volunteer health workers from the Department of Health distributed free condoms last Valentine’s Day weekend. Despite criticisms from Catholic bishops, the health workers continued to give away free condoms last Monday… until they were abducted by military men and brought to a safe house in Morong, Rizal.

Photo of the Weak

Ano ang iyong magiging reaksyon kapag nakasalubong mo siya at inabutan ka niya ng kanyang infamous bracelet?
A: “So, ito pala! Ito pala ‘yung ‘pinamudmod mo noong libing ni Tita Cory?”
B: (Sings) “Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap. Si Villar ang tunay na may malasakit!”
C: “How sweet of you madam! Matutuwa si Brownie. May bago na naman siyang toy.”
D: “Hindi ako kumakain ng bracelet! I’m a vegetarian.”
_____________
“A politician’s goal is always to manipulate public debate. I think there are some politicians with higher goals. But all of them get corrupted by power.”
~Dean Koontz

Survey Says
Should celebrity endorsers (including actors & mass media personalities) take a leave from work during the campaign period?
DAPAT LANG. 47%
HINDI NA KAILANGAN. 39%
I DON’T CARE. 14%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

February 16th
On this date in…

0600: Pope Gregory the Great decrees saying “God bless You” is the correct response to a sneeze. Pharmaceutical firms oppose the decree and insist that the correct response should be “Sa panahong ito, bawal magkasakit.”

0923: Islamic historian Abu Dja’far Mohammed Djarir al-Tabari dies at 83. His family wanted to inscribe an epitaph on his tombstone or plaque but the space was just enough for his name.

1834: The inventor of the life boat, Lionel Lukin dies. He drowned.

1888: From Hong Kong, Jose Rizal writes a letter to his good friend Ferdinand Blumentritt citing the circumstances and reasons for leaving the Philippines. Rizal says he is “a victim of a conspiracy of whispers between the government and the stooge in the Department of Justice.” He insists “flight is not an indication of guilt” and vows to return to the country when a new leader is sworn in.

1945: World War II event: American forces land on Corregidor island in the Philippines. They were warmly welcomed by the residents of the island who actually prepared a “fiesta” for the visitors. Helping them out with the preparation was Kristie Kenney.

1945: Venezuela declares war on Germany… just minutes after Miss Germany won the Miss Universe title edging out first runner-up Miss Venezuela.

1959: Fidel Castro names himself Cuba’s premier after overthrowing President Fulgencio Batista. The ousted president fled Havana and pursued a career in wrestling, a legacy he would pass on to his grandchildren.

1986: The National Assembly declares Ferdinand Marcos as the winner of the February 7 snap presidential elections. Seconds after the declaration, Kris Aquino denounced the National Assembly on Twitter and said, “If it’s wrong to care about my mother and practice my constitutional right to free speech and my freedom to contest the vote, then jail me and let’s go back to the dark days of Martial Law!”

2007: Britney Spears creates a stir when she shaves her head. A few days later, the public would shift its interest to photos of Britney’s shaved vajayjay that circulated online.

Thanks to Filipiniana.Net, Wikipedia, PageScope Systems, and BrainyHistory.com.

VALENTINE TWEETS

The Professional Heckler gathered some Valentine tweets posted by political figures and some famous celebrities on Twitter. Enjoy!

MrPalengke ang hirap pala kapag lagpas singkwenta na. nakaka-trentang padyak na ‘ko, wala pa rin. sorry hon.
45 minutes ago from API

RatedK @MrPalengke: i understand hon. try ulit natin later.
less than 35 seconds ago from web

Noynoy @MrPalengke ang daya mo naman. usapan natin, mangangampanya today ‘di ba? ba’t di ka pa umaalis ng bahay?
43 minutes ago from Tumblr

MrPalengke uyyy, may naiinggit! mag-asawa na kasi ang isang tao d’yan!
42 minutes ago from Tumblr

Noynoy @Shalani punta ka na rito. safe na. umalis na si kris.
30 minutes ago from TweetDeck

Shalani @Noynoy ‘di ba sabi ko dito na lang sa house namin? you know naman how difficult it is when she’s around
39 minutes ago from twitterfeed

MannyVillar scheduled to meet with pidol and sarah g. today for the full payment of their endorsement fees
42 minutes ago from UberTwitter

BoyAbunda wants to know what went wrong with the noynoy ads that kris and i did. @krissy remind ko lang our meeting with campaigns & grey’s yolly ong
about 1 hour ago from TweetDeck

Krissy @Boy pls, ikaw na lang ang makipag-meet kay tita yolly ong. it’s my birthday today, i don’t wanna ruin it.
about 1 hour ago from UberTwitter

Krissy @Boy pls, ikaw na lang ang makipag-meeting kay tita yolly ong. it’s my birthday today, i don’t wanna ruin it. BoyAbunda wants to know what went wrong with the noynoy ads that kris and i did. – SABI NA NGA BA EH! SOMEBODY ELSE’S CAMPAIGN IS IN DISARRAY. WOHOO!!!
Retweeted by gilbertremulla, adeltamano, alanpetercayetano, and 10 others

YollyOng_Campaigns&Grey i just read The Professional Heckler’s latest post. just want you to know that i didn’t post that tweet. he is not following me on twitter.

JustJamby had another fight with eric after i caught him eating “itlog na maalat” again in our bedroom! ang kapaaaaaaal! sa mismong kwarto pa namin!
about 2 hours ago from web

EricJeanClaudeDValade @JustJamby Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)? You said no. C’est vraiment de ta faute! (It is so your fault!)
about 90 minutes ago from Echofon

GilbertRemulla @EricJeanClaudeDValade hahahahahahhahhahahaa! You’re so funny Frenchman!
about 80 minutes ago from UberTwitter

JustJamby @Gilbert Remulla ‘wag kang makialam dito bakla! kapal ng mukha mo! land grabber! corruption king ng cavite! vas te faire encule!
about 10 minutes ago from HootSuite

GiboTeodoro woke up on valentine’s day with nothing but my necktie. my wife is so pilya. i just love her. wanna know what she’s wearing? nahhh.
about 1 hour ago from TweetDeck

JustJamby @GiboTeodoro wala lang. will just wait for your next tweet.
about 1 hour ago from twitterfeed

EdongAngara happy valentine’s day to my wife, gloria. i love u mumu.
about 1 hour ago from UberTwitter

GloriaAngara @EdongAngara awww. i love u pupu.
about 30 seconds ago from Tweetdeck

Loren4VPLegarda whateverrrr!
about 20 seconds ago from Tweetdeck

BrotherEddie magkakaroon lamang ng tunay pag-ibig sa sanlibutan kung ipagbubunyi natin ang Diyos at mamahalin natin ang ating bayan. kitakits mamaya sa free concert ni gary valenciano. Amen!

JojoBinay happy hearts day to my loyal friends in the liberal party. can’t blame you guys for supporting me. sa ngalan ni tita cory, walang iwanan!
about 1 hour ago from API

Noynoy @JojoBinay manong naman, ‘wag n’yo nang gatungan. magulo na kami eh.
about 30 seconds ago from TweetDeck

ErapParasaMahirap buwisit! valentine’s day na naman. problema ko na naman kung sinong uunahin. nakakasawa rin pala.
2 minutes ago from API

LiliaPineda dis is my happiest valentine’s day ever. thank u comelec.
about 2 hours ago from Tumblr

LiliaPineda @BongPineda valentine’s day naman, pagbigyan mo na ang request ng mga kababayan natin na magkaroon ng special valentine’s day draw. mmmmwah!
about 80 minutes ago from Tumblr

AmongEdPanlilio @LiliaPineda Eeew. patawarin ka sana ng Diyos.
30 minutes ago from web

BulacanGovernorJonjonMendoza andito pa rin kami sa kapitolyo. baka may gustong magdala ng pagkain dito.
25 minutes ago from web

ObetPagdanganan @BulacanGovernorJonjonMendoza ‘Wag mo nang pahirapan ang sarili mo. Valentine’s Day gift mo na lang sa akin ang natitirang three months. Bumaba ka na diyan!
23 minutes ago from UberTwitter

BulacanGovernorJonjonMendoza @ObetPagdanganan ULOL!
18 minutes ago from web

KBLVetellanoAcosta twinter ba ito o facebook. sensya na, bago lang. araw ng mga puso ngayon kaya spreading love everyone!
3 minutes ago from Seesmic

IlocosTimes The Ilocos Times intercepted some Valentine tweets posted by political figures and some famous celebrities on Twitter. Read them in our online edition. Enjoy!
5 minutes ago from UberTwitter

PingLacson ‘musta na kayong lahat d’yan? see you in june!
7 minutes ago from web

GMA maligayang araw ng mga puso sa inyong lahat. dis will be my last valentine’s day with you as president. pero ‘wag kayong mag-alala. hindi ako makakalimot kahit house speaker na ako… noh?
10 minutes ago from web

Senator_LitoLapid QWERTY ASDFGHJKL ZXCVBNM TINAMAAN NG LINTIK! SIRA NA NAMAN YATA ANG KEYPAD NG COMPUTER KO. BAKIT CAPITAL LAHAT NG LETRA? PUNYETA NAMAN OO!
About an hour ago from web

Twitter_Administrator @Senator_LitoLapid Your Twitter account has been temporarily suspended for reported abuse.
30 minutes ago from UberTwitter

Senator_LitoLapid @Twitter_Administrator EH NAWALAN NGA NG SMALL VERSION ANG CAPITAL LETTERS EH! PAK OP!
20 minutes ago from web

DickGordon @ProfessionalHeckler O, bakit ‘di napasama ang tweets namin ni Bayani? Kulelat na nga kami sa survey, pati ba naman sa blog mo, kulelat pa rin? That’s unfair!
3 minutes ago from twitterfeed

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

WINNERS AND LOSERS

CONGRATULATIONS to the Luzon resident who became the lone winner of the 201.473 million-peso jackpot prize in last night’s Super Lotto draw. Prior to that, two other Luzon residents were also declared winners: Roberto Pagdanganan and Lilia Pineda each won a province in a special draw supervised by the Commission on Elections’ Second Division.

Former Pampanga Board Member Lilia Pineda has won her recount petition against incumbent Governor Ed Panlilio. After the promulgation, the priest-on-leave’s allies said, “Para kaming binagsakan ng langit,” while Pineda’s supporters exclaimed, “Para kaming tumama sa jueteng.”

In Bulacan…
The provincial capitol now has two governors. Isang atat at isang tuko.

Reports say Roberto Pagdanganan, who was declared winner against incumbent governor Jonjon Mendoza after the recount of votes, is temporarily holding office at the provincial museum. Mendoza accused his nemesis of being “too greedy for power and position” after Pagdanganan concurrently assumed the post of curator.

On The Campaign Trail:
The TV Ads (First of A Series)
Noon: Nanonood tayo ng sitcoms o gag shows para matuwa
Ngayon: Nag-aabang tayo ng political ads para mangutya (at matuwa)

Ang Buwaya, Bow!
TG Guingona’s TV Ad (Liberal Party)
[Right click here to watch the ad before reading further]

Inspired by this hilarious anti-corruption campaign advertisement, here’s one for you TG. You know the melody.
Nakaligo ka na nga sa dagat ng buwaya
Nagpaskong mga bwitre ang ‘yong kasa-kasama
‘Yan ang alam namin
Dahil ikaw ay congressman din.

Superman, Batman, Spiderman… tumabi kayong lahat dahil narito na si…
Justiceman!
[Right click here to watch the ad before reading further]

Apat na tanong para sa kagalang-galang na dating kalihim:
1: Bilang Justiceman, ano po ang balak n’yong isuot na costume?
Pangalawa: Katulad nina Batman at Superman, nasa labas din kaya ang iyong brief?
3: Ano po ang inyong taglay na superpowers?
At pang-apat: Lalaki po kayo pero bakit “Bebot” ang iyong nickname? Follow up question: Ano po ang tawag sa inyo ng ninong o ninang ng mga anak n’yo: “Mare?”

Lakas-Kampi-CMD’s Pride?
Who needs a mascot if you have…
Binalonan, Pangasinan Mayor Ramon Guico, senatorial candidate
[Right click here to watch the ad before reading further]

Limang tanong para sa kagalang-galang na mayor:
Una: Sino po ang nagsabing karapat-dapat kayong tumakbo dahil kailangan kayo sa Senado?
2: Naniwala naman po kayo?
Pangatlo: Sabi po sa ad n’yo, “Paid for by friends of Ramon Guico” You mean, ginastusan na pala ang naturang ad nang lagay na ‘yun?
4: Kung hindi po kayo mananalo bilang senador, gusto n’yo bang mag-showbiz?
At panlima: Paano po kayo maglilingkod sa bansa nang tapat at totoo kung ang mismong buhok po ninyo ay peke?

Madrigal’s Market Tour
TV cameras followed filthy rich senator Jamby Madrigal as she toured the metro’s markets. She never complained about the unpleasant smell but a fish vendor heard her whisper, “Mabuti pa ang market, wet.”

Sen. Jamby Madrigal toured the metro’s markets on Day 2 of her official campaign and plans to visit more this coming week. This just in! Without a party to back up her candidacy, Madrigal considers abandoning her ambition to win the presidency and shift her focus instead to becoming the new “Mr. Palengke.”

KBL’s Candidates
Kilusang Bagong Lipunan vice presidential bet, broadcaster Jay Sonza claims he is not familiar with his party’s presidential bet, Vetellano Acosta. Sonza is wondering why Acosta is running for president, why he refuses to campaign, and why his name is uniquely spelled that way.

The Fair Elections Act
Citing a provision in the Fair Elections Act, the Commission on Elections ordered “Any mass media columnist, commentator, announcer, reporter, on-air correspondent or personality endorsers” to take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, ABS-CBN operations will be crippled.

The Comelec ordered “Any mass media columnist, commentator, announcer, reporter, on-air correspondent or personality endorsers” to take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, the Inquirer will lose Conrado De Quiros and Manolo Quezon for three months.

According to the Fair Elections Act, “Any mass media columnist, commentator, announcer, reporter, on-air correspondent or personality endorsers” must take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, Malaya and the Daily Tribune will have to shut down operations for 90 days.

The Comelec has ordered celebrity endorsers to take a leave of absence from their work during the campaign period. If strictly enforced, TV5 would lose its only star, Dolphy – even before he could start working.

Lacson’s Case
Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s lawyer, Alex Avisado insists that the senator is not yet a fugitive from justice. He’s just a tourist.

The National Bureau of Investigation has intensified its global manhunt for Sen. Panfilo Lacson. The NBI’s intensified search has sent chills down the spine of male OFWs in Qatar.

———————–
“A great ad campaign will make a bad product fail faster. It will get more people to know it’s bad.”
~William Bernbach

Survey Says
Three months before the elections, have you decided for certain who you will vote for president?
Meron na! Sure na ako. 54%
Wala pa rin. Still thinking. 34%
Hindi ako boboto. 12%

Elsewhere
ABS-CBN Exclusive: Some groups within the Liberal Party are secretly pushing for an Aquino-Binay tandem.

Newsbreak: Guess who broke La Salle’s no-politicking rule

Have a great weekend!

February 10TH
On this date in…

1899: President Emilio Aguinaldo is informed that American invaders have captured the town of Caloocan. Aguinaldo is displeased when he learned that while the fall of Caloocan was happening, town mayor Recom Echeverri was shopping in Hong Kong with town councilor Marjorie Barretto.

1923: Nobel Prize Laureate and German physicist Wilhelm Conrad Röntgen dies. To mourn his demise, hospitals and clinics all over the world turned off all X-ray machines for one minute.

1940: MGM releases Tom & Jerry created by Hanna & Barbera. Years later, Philippine politics would give birth to a similar tale: Jamby and Manny.

1998: First in history: a man is convicted of committing a hate crime in cyberspace. The college dropout who emailed threats to Asian students would eventually become the inspiration for society columnist Malu Fernandez’s OFW articles.

2005: The engagement of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles is announced. Camilla is very very ecstatic but the structure of her face prevents her from showing her happiness.

_____________
Thank you GMANews.TV for this informative entry. Meet your candidates. All of them!

BAKBAKAN NA!

Notes from a Debate
Did you catch the Inquirer-sponsored presidential debate in UP? Me neither. But I was able to read some interesting notes about the event. For example, Sen. Manny Villar arrived as a candidate and left as a punching bag.

The “Inquirer First Edition: Presidential Debates” was organized by the Philippine Daily Inquirer and co-sponsored by Globe Telecoms and the UP College of Mass Communication. A total of 27 questions were asked each candidate separated into 3 categories: (1) Law and Governance, (2) Social Services, and (3) Economics and Business. A fourth category was added during the debate proper, Sen. Manny Villar’s political ads.

Puwersa ng Masang Pilipino standard-bearer Joseph Estrada was a no-show at the debate. That’s not surprising though since he always boycotts the Inquirer anyway.

Kilusang Bagong Lipunan’s Vetellano Acosta was also absent. That wasn’t surprising either because he was not invited.

Jamby Jeered
When Sen. Jamby Madrigal was booed for failing to give an accurate answer to the question, “Would you know the current price of “galunggong,” she explained, “I’m a vegetarian.” But when asked to name the third vegetable mentioned in the folk song “Bahay Kubo,” she insisted, “I’m not a singer.”

Defending her failure to answer accurately the question on the price of “galunggong,” Sen. Jamby Madrigal said, “I’m a vegetarian.” Again, that’s “vegetarian” NOT “vagitarian” as others insist they heard her say.

Senator Madrigal’s woes didn’t stop with the “galunggong” question. When asked if she knew the cost of salted eggs (itlog na maalat), Jamby shook her head and replied, “I also don’t eat eggs.” We know.

During the Inquirer debate in UP, Senator Madrigal said she didn’t know the price of “galunggong” because she’s “a vegetarian.” She wouldn’t know the cost of salted eggs because she “also doesn’t eat eggs.” Because of these answers, Jamby automatically wins two advance year-end special citations from this blog, (1) “Baka Makalusot Lang” Award, and (2) “Vegetarian Mo’ng Mukha Mo” Award. Congratulations!

If elected president, Senator Madrigal says she won’t let her husband, Eric Jean Claude Dudoignon Valade engage in any business deals… or else, “I will cut his head & his tongue,” to which the Frenchman said, “Etchosera!”

Now you know. Senator Madrigal has a husband and his name is Eric Jean Claude Dudoignon Valade. ‘Yung pangalan niya, kasinghaba siguro ng kanyang pasensya.

Campaign Period Starts
The official campaign period starts today. Reports say President Arroyo won’t be attending the official campaign kick-off of administration bet Gilbert Teodoro. Mrs. Arroyo would have wanted to attend the event if not for her prior commitment to join Sen. Manny Villar’s kick-off rally.

The Liberal Party began their campaign with a mass in Concepcion, Tarlac at 9:30 am. There was one awkward moment though after the first reading. Tension flared up when the camp of advertising bigwig Yolly Ong (the head of Noynoy’s ad campaign) and the camp of Boy & Kris argued on who should read the Responsorial Psalm. (Note for Ms. Yolly Ong: This is a joke, ma’am.)

Sen. Jamby Madrigal started her campaign by attending mass in Quiapo Church. After which, she went outside, shook hands with Quiapo vendors… and inquired about the price of “galunggong” and “itlog na maalat.”

Sen. Richard Gordon and Bayani Fernando today unveiled a campaign truck fashioned after the Transformers’ ‘Optimus Prime.’ But something bad happened even before the truck could leave the duo’s campaign headquarters. A passerby mistook it for an MMDA urinal and pissed on it.

Bro. Eddie Villanueva kicked off his campaign rally by unfolding a huge Philippine flag. An overwhelmed preacher announced, “Ang pinakamalaking bandila sa buong Pilipinas ay iniladlad sa banal na lupa ng Luneta Park.” He then miraculously walked on top of the flag from end to end without losing balance.

Bro. Eddie Villanueva’s supporter reportedly spent 10 million pesos for that huge flag. To give you an idea how much 10 million pesos is: tatlong prayer rally lang sa Luneta, bawi na ‘yan!

Senatorial bets of the Nacionalista Party kicked off their campaign with a motorcade in Calamba City, Laguna. They went straight to Laguna De Bay where thousands of supporters patiently waited for them. At sa harap ng nagpapalakpakang mga residente sa paligid ng Laguna de Bay, ang mga kandidato ni Senador Villar ay sabay-sabay na naligo – sa dagat ng basura.

Lacson, Too
Though in hiding, Sen. Panfilo Lacson has joined the frenzy. His “Wanted” posters were distributed by an anti-crime group in Metro Manila.

No to Gibô
Asked about her preferred candidate for president, Gretchen Cojuangco, wife of business tycoon Danding Cojuangco, and aunt of administration candidate Gilbert Teodoro, was quoted to have said, “Anybody but Gibô.” Mrs. Cojuangco’s answer elated Sen. Ana Consuelo Madrigal whose aunts and uncles are voting for “anybody but Jamby.”
__________________________
“I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.”
~Oscar Wilde

Survey Says
Rumors say Sen. Manny Villar is the ‘secret candidate’ of Mr. and Mrs. Jose Miguel Arroyo. Your take:
TRUE! 38%
IMPOSIBLE! 19%
Hmmm, baka nga. 43%

Personal:
Trying to Get Away With It
Remember my previous posts about The Ilocos Times? For the benefit of those who didn’t get to read the articles, here’s what happened: The Ilocos Times reprinted my two Christmas-themed blog posts as an Editorial in the paper’s January 11 to 17, 2010 issue and attributed the article to their columnist, Juan L. Mercado. Apparently, the editors have discovered that the item was not actually written by their beloved Mr. Mercado. I checked their online version today and voila! The controversial editorial was gone. Instead, they replaced it with the editorial from the January 18-24 issue. In short, they have two different issues with the same editorial. Wow! And they did not bother to issue even an insincere apology.

Do you really think you could just get away with it by deleting the online version of the copied material? Kapal. [Yup, I am angry now. Sorry.]

Shame on you The Ilocos Times! Shame on you!

Light Bites
The camp of a presidential candidate sent someone to ask soon-to-be dad Paolo Contis (whose Italian father recently died) if he’s free and willing to endorse the candidate. Paolo’s reply:
“Sabihin mo, oo! Go! Kahit kumanta pa ‘ko habang lumalangoy sa dagat ng basura! Go!”

Funny guy.

Pahabol: Make it a habit to watch STRICTLY POLITICS on ANC. Hosted by Ms Pia Hontiveros, it airs every Tuesday@8PM.

February 8th
On this date in…

1834: Russian chemist Dmitri Mendeleev is born. On his birth certificate, the midwife strangely entered the following information:
Group/Family: Mendeleev
Period: 1834
Atomic Weight: 9lbs.
Properties: White, mainly solid but emits liquid matter

1928: Scottish inventor John Logie Baird demonstrates color TV. Shortly after the demo, the Chinese started to mass reproduce fake color TV.

1942: Japanese invaders land on Singapore… and are surprised to discover that the number of Japanese soldiers is larger than the entire Singaporean population

1960: Benigno Simeon “Noynoy” Aquino is born. Baby Noy did not cry after birth, something that bothered the hospital staff. When the doctor tried to slap his behind to make him cry (a method widely-believed to help clear the newborn’s lungs), a protective Mommy Cory intervened and said, “Please be patient. Give him some time to think and decide when to cry.”

1978: Deliberations at the US Senate are broadcast on radio for the first time… but listeners begin to tune out when a biased Ted Failon started to annotate the proceedings.

2007: Tabloid sensation Anna Nicole Smith dies at age 39 but her boobs continue to live for the next seven days until her autopsy.

THE FUGITIVE

PAGASA says summer is almost here. It’s getting hotter and hotter outside. No wonder, Sen. Panfilo Lacson refuses to come out.

Ping Lacson
Sen. Panfilo Lacson’s staunch ally, Archbishop-emeritus Oscar Cruz says  the senator’s decision to flee is “justifiable” saying “Sa tingin ko, hindi niya magagawa ang ibinibintang sa kanya.” Cruz’ statement has fueled speculations that he’s quitting the priesthood to become a lawyer.

There have been conflicting reports as to the whereabouts of fugitive senator Panfilo Lacson. Some say he’s in Australia. Others insist he’s still in Hong Kong. And then, some believe he’s at the basement of Marlene Aguilar’s house.

Authorities tried to serve the warrant of arrest Saturday by visiting Lacson’s residence in Ayala, Alabang. Then, they went to the house of Lacson’s son, Panfilo ‘Pampi’ Lacson III and his wife, actress Jodi Sta. Maria in BF Homes, Parañaque City. They also visited his parents’ home but Lacson was never found. Apparently, they haven’t searched the house of Archbishop Cruz yet.

Sen. Gringo Honasan, who himself was a fugitive from the law on several occasions in the past said Senator Lacson should “master the art of disguise.” Honasan advised him to “maximize costumes” – prompting Lacson to read articles on Lady Gaga.

Reports say Senator Lacson will surface only after the May 10 polls when a new president is elected. Unless of course, it’s Manny Villar.

Top 8 Movie Remakes Starring Sen. Panfilo Lacson

No. 8: Ping Shui

No. 7: Duwag the Dog

No: 6: Look Who’s Hiding

No. 5: Chickened, Ran

No. 4: Coward’s End

No. 3: I Know What You Did Last November 2000

No. 2: Harry Dacer and the Prisoner of Alabang

And the No.1 movie remake starring Sen. Panfilo Lacson…

You’ve Got Jail

In Other News…
The Commission on Elections held mock polls Saturday. Topping the race for president was Dr. Jose Rizal… prompting the PR group of Sen. Noynoy Aquino to make changes in their campaign strategy.

In the mock polls held Saturday, Dr. Jose Rizal emerged as the top pick for president besting closest rival Emilio Aguinaldo. However, Aguinaldo refused to concede and vowed to immediately file an election protest.

In the mock polls held Saturday, Dr. Jose Rizal emerged as the top pick for president. The Liberal Party accused Rizal of being the “secret candidate” of the Spanish Governor-General.

Marcelo H. Del Pilar won the vice presidential race in the mock polls held Saturday. The next day, Korina Sanchez was on radio blaming Conrado De Quiros and Kiko Pangilinan for her husband’s loss.

Noynoy Aquino’s Camp Reacts
The Professional Heckler received an email from the head of Sen. Noynoy Aquino’s advertising campaign, Ms Yolly Ong of ad agency Campaigns and Grey as regards the recent post titled “EVEN NOW.” It was sent through Philippine Star columnist William ‘Billy’ Esposo, an online friend of The Professional Heckler. Click here for details.

Survey Says
According to the latest survey, Noynoy and Villar are statistically “tied” now – because…
Villar has more ads than Noynoy 31%
Villar’s ads are more effective than Noynoy’s 42%
I don’t care! 27%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere…
This is really cute. Have fun!

February 5th
On this date in…

1564: In a memorandum, officials of the Augustinian order assign priests to join the voyage of Miguel Lopez de Legazpi to the Philippines. Barely a year after the priests arrived, the country’s population doubled.

1917: US Congress passes the Immigration Act, which restricts the influx of Asians. On the same day, Filipinos coined the acronym ‘TNT’

1937: President Roosevelt proposed increasing the number of Supreme Court justices… a proposal rejected by Father Joaquin Bernas, and the political opposition.

1947: Bolewet Beirut becomes president of Poland. A week later, Wenceslao Warsaw becomes president of Lebanon.

1977: The song “Torn Between Two Lovers” by Mary MacGregor topped the charts and stayed there for 2 weeks. It would also become one of Sen. Loren Legarda’s all-time favorites.

1986: Two days before the snap presidential elections, Corazon Aquino & Ferdinand Marcos appeared on ABC’s “Nightline” hosted by Ted Koppel. Although she read from a prepared opening statement, analysts noticed an improvement in Mrs. Aquino’s performance during the debate.

Thanks to the NYTimes On this Day; Filipiniana.Net and Scope Systems.

EVEN NOW

THE RACE FOR PRESIDENT is indeed heating up. Three surveys conducted nationwide last month showed that Richard Gordon, Jamby Madrigal, Vetallano Acosta, JC De Los Reyes, Nicanor Perlas, and Bro. Eddie Villanueva were statistically tied for last place!

Pulse Asia Survey
According to Pulse Asia, Senators Noynoy Aquino and Manny Villar are now statistically “tied” for first place. Either Villar’s ads were that good or the Senate majority’s ‘job’ on Villar was that bad.

Liberal Party spokesman Quezon Rep. Lorenzo “Erin” Tañada III admits that they are concerned about the results of the latest Pulse Asia survey. Noynoy was reportedly so bothered, he even requested his advisers to verify rumors that “nabili lang sa Divisoria ang naturang survey.”

Liberal Party spokesman Erin Tañada admits that Noynoy Aquino’s ads (which were handled and conceptualized by Kris Aquino and Boy Abunda) haven’t had a strong impact. In fact, after the release of Noynoy’s latest “rap ad,” Baby James got a higher rating than him.

The head of Noynoy Aquino’s advertising campaign, Yolanda Ong of ad agency Campaigns and Grey says because of the decline in Noynoy’s ratings, there will be major changes in his campaign strategy. It will start with the exclusion of Kris and Boy in brainstorming sessions.

[Here's a rejoinder from Ms. Yolly Ong.]

Liberal Party spokesman Erin Tañada admits that the so-called “Cory Magic” that catapulted Aquino as the favorite to win the presidential race may already be wearing off. Unfortunately for Noynoy, Cory’s “babang-luksa” or first death anniversary is still six months away.

Top 10 Messages Left on Senator Noynoy Aquino’s Answering Machine After the Release of the Latest Pulse Asia Survey

No. 10: “Hi Noy. Korina here. Have you heard the news? Mar has been pulling away in the vice presidential surveys. I’m so very happy for my husband. Are you?”

No. 9: “Senator, this is Mayen Austria. Alam ko pong may problema kayo ngayon sa survey ratings n’yo, pero wala na po talaga akong mapagsabihan ng problema ko sa aking boyfriend eh. Nagpalit na kasi ng number si James.”

No. 8: “Noynoy, si Jamby ‘to. I’ve done every possible thing against that corrupt and evil candidate of the Nacionalista Party. Tell me, saan ako nagkulang?”

No. 7: “Mr. Senator, this is the SWS. Quiapo pala huh. Ayan ang napala mo!”

No. 6: “Hi Noy. Si Korina ulit ‘to. Nasabi ko na ba sa ‘yo na ang taas-taas ng rating ngayon ni Mar? Boom-boom pow! Boom-boom pow!”

No. 5: “Noy, this is Mar! Pagpasensyahan mo na si misis. Mukhang may sapi na naman eh. Intindihin mo na lang. At huwag kang mag-alala, hindi kita pababayaan. Magsasama tayo. Lalaban tayo.”

No. 4: “Hi Noy, sa campaign headquarters ‘to ni Senator Villar. Guys, sabay-sabay… “Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap. Si Villar ang tunay na may malasakit. Si Villar ang may kakayahan at gumawa ng sariling pangalan…”

No. 3: “Hello Noy, this is Conrado De Quiros of the Inquirer. Your candidacy will deliver us back to the beginning of things, or thrust us back to the time where myth and history meet or the place where life and legend intersect. The time or place of the great fight between Good and Evil: Between Cory and Marcos, between Obama and Bush, between the Fellowship of the Ring and the Eye of Mordor, between Luke Skywalker and the Evil Empire. Use the Force, Noy.”

No. 2: “Senator Aquino, hindi na mahalaga kung sino man kami. Basta, sa palasyo ‘to at naka-tap ang phone mo. Pakisabi kay De Quiros, ang OA niya huh!

And the No. 1 message left on Senator Noynoy Aquino’s answering machine after the release of the latest Pulse Asia survey…

“’Noy, don’t worry ok? Next week, susugurin ko ulit si Mayen, pero sasampalin ko na siya para mas pag-usapan. ‘Tapos, makikipaghiwalay ulit ako kay James, hindi lang two days but five. Pero help me naman with Ate Ballsy para may malipatan ako pansamantala. Nahihiya na ‘kong makitira kay Ate Pinky eh. ‘Tsaka… wait lang huh, ‘tawag ako ulit. Gosh, Joshua, ano baaaa! Huwag mong sakyan si Baby James!”
___________________
“There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up and the kind you make up.” ~Rex Stout, Death of a Doxy

Survey Says
On the country’s first ever automated elections:
I’m optimistic. Kaya natin ‘yan! 53%
Kinakabahan ako. Baka pumalpak. 47%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Enjoy the rest of the week!

FEBRUARY 3rd

1867: Fourteen-year-old Prince Mutsuhito becomes Emperor Meiji of Japan. Just minutes after the news of his rise to power is announced, he receives thousands of “Friend Requests” on Facebook.

1927: Blas F. Ople, Filipino politician and government official is born. It took three days of intense pain before baby Blas finally came out. Years later, he would become the Minister of Labor.

1930: The Communist Party of Vietnam is established. To celebrate the historic event, party leaders orders the bombing of several cell sites.

1986: Pope John Paul II meets Mother Teresa, head of the Missionaries of Charities order, in Calcutta and visited her refuge for the sick and dying. The next day, paparazzi photos were splashed across gossip tabloids calling them “an item.”

1989: A military-backed uprising overthrows Alfredo Stroessner, president of Paraguay. He was tried and convicted but was immediately pardoned by his successor. He is now seeking reelection with the campaign slogan, “Alfredo para el pobrecito.”

Thanks to BBC On This Day, Scope Systems, and Wikipedia.

THE CLIMB

THE LATEST Social Weather Stations survey conducted from Jan. 21 to 24, 2010 is out. On Page 1 of the SWS report is a disclaimer that states, “No portion of this study was obtained in or near Quiapo.”

According to the latest SWS survey commissioned by Business World, Sen. Manny Villar has narrowed the lead of Sen. Noynoy Aquino to seven percentage points. To avert a further decline in his rating, Noynoy will release a rap version of his “Hindi Ka Nag-iisa” video.

From 15 percent in December, pardoned plunderer Joseph Estrada’s rating is down to 13 percent in January. The SWS believes there’s a modest decline in the prevalence of idiocy in the country.

In the latest SWS survey, Gilbert Teodoro got 4 percent; Sen. Richard Gordon and Bro. Eddie Villanueva, each got 2 percent, Kilusang Bagong Lipunan standard bearer Vetellano Acosta, 0.3 percent; Ang Kapatiran’s JC Delos Reyes, 0.2 percent; and environmentalist Nicanor Perlas; 0.1 percent. The SWS did not release the rating of Sen. Jamby Madrigal. She won’t believe the results anyway.

StratPOLLS Survey
In the latest survey conducted by StratPOLLS, Gilbert Teodoro jumped into double-digit figures for the first time. He got 11 percent. Partida pa ‘yan huh. Nakaw pa ang ginamit na ad jingle n’yan!

Jamby on Villar
Interviewed by the Philippine Daily Inquirer, Sen. Jamby Madrigal described Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. as “an evil candidate.” Villar vowed to give a reaction tomorrow on radio station dzRH, 666 kHz.

Where is Lacson?
Sen. Panfilo Lacson admits fleeing the country last Jan. 5 or two days before the Department of Justice recommended the filing of murder raps against him for the murders of publicist Salvador “Bubby” Dacer and his driver on November 24, 2000. The majority senator who failed to attend the Senate plenary on the C-5 road extension controversy issued a statement saying he left the country out of his concern for his “own personal safety and security” to which Sen. Manny Villar said, “I agree. Mabuti pa nga d’yan ka na muna.”

Signal Jammer
The Commission on Elections says reports of people planning to use jammers to disrupt telecommunication signals and sabotage the automated elections on May 10 should be taken seriously… although poor telecom signal is neither new nor alarming if you’re a Sun Cellular subscriber.

Signal Jammer II
Even Liberal Party standard-bearer Noynoy Aquino has expressed alarm over reports that some people may use signal jammers to sabotage the elections. Noynoy adds, “Nabibili lang kasi ‘yan sa Raon District sa Quiapo.”

Senate’s Big Spender
According to the Commission on Audit, detained senator Antonio Trillanes IV is the third biggest spender among Senate members in 2008 incurring expenses of 17.224 million pesos. Under the category, “local travel expenses,” Trillanes spent 247,404 pesos! Bakit?!? Kasinlaki ba ng UP campus ang detention cell niya at kailangan niyang magsakay?

Senate’s Big Spender II
As per COA’s report for 2008, detained senator Antonio Trillanes IV spent 247,404 pesos for “local travel.” Does Philippine law now allow spending for astral travel?!

In Entertainment…
‘Comedy King’ Dolphy, a Manny Villar endorser, has left ABS-CBN and inked a deal with Manny Pangilinan’s TV 5. Maricel Soriano, another ABS-CBN talent, and Dolphy’s daughter in the defunct sitcom “John & Marsha” has also transferred to TV5. To prove that his newly-acquired station is dead serious in competing with GMA and ABS-CBN, Manny Pangilinan is initiating talks with Nida Blanca.

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“Eeach candidate behaved well in the hope of being judged worthy of election. However, this system was disastrous when the city had become corrupt. For then it was not the most virtuous but the most powerful who stood for election, and the weak, even if virtuous, were too frightened to run for office.”
~Niccolo Machiavelli

FEBRUARY 1st

1650: Philosopher Rene Descartes who originated the statement, “Cogito ergo sum” dies. He stopped thinking.

1814: Mayon Volcano erupts killing 1,200 people. The figure could have been higher if not for the outstanding disaster management program implemented by the Albay governor who happened to be the great-great-great-great grandfather of Joey Salceda.

1965: Peter Jennings, 26, becomes anchor of ABC’s nightly news. A month later, he receives a juicy offer from Manny Pangilinan to transfer to TV5.

1978: After pleading guilty to charges of having sex with a 13-year-old girl, director Roman Polanski skips bail and escapes. He fled to Zamboanga Del Norte where he befriended Romeo Jalosjos.

1979: Exiled religious leader Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, who was imprisoned by the Shah in 1963 for his opposition to reforms, has made a triumphant return to Iran after 14 years in exile. To celebrate the momentous event, a motorcade was held in the streets of Tehran. Kohmeini was joined on the float by Lito Atienza and son, Ali.

2003: Seven astronauts perish as Columbia breaks up on re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere leaving NASA and the world in a state of disbelief. One of those who saw the event live on TV was Vicki Belo whose face would never recover from the initial shock.

Thanks to BBC On This Day, Scope Systems, and Taga-Ilog News.