SHE WILL SURVIVE

PRESIDENT ARROYO has formally declared her intention to seek a Congressional seat in her home province of Pampanga in next year’s polls. This parody of a Gloria Gaynor hit was inspired by Mrs. Gloria Arroyo’s latest declaration.

Note: Before you start singing, please click this link for musical backup.

GMA:
“First, I am not afraid
I’m not petrified
Kept thinking I could always live
with immunity by my side
Though I spent so many nights
thinking I did nothing wrong
I am strong
I learned how to carry on

So I’ll go back
to my old place
’Though I walked out to find you all
with that mad look upon your face
I should replace my stupid son
I’d soon be their congresswoman
If I had known it’s quick and easy
I should’ve just run for VP

THE PEOPLE:
Go on now go, walk out the door
just disappear now
’cause you’re not welcome anymore
weren’t you the one who tried not to bid your post goodbye
you think you’d Con Ass
you think we’d let you even try

GMA:
Oh no, not I
I will survive
oh as long as i know how to bribe
I know I will stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my cash to give
and I’ll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to fight
the media, the Left, and all bishops
and I spent oh so many nights
rehearsing how to perfect lies
I will not cry
I will hold my head up high

And you’ll see me
in Congress soon
I will not be that stuck-up person
who refused to hold press cons
I now hope for charter change
In twenty-ten, yeah, hopefully
I’ll be saving all my power
for what else? Prime Ministry!

THE PEOPLE:
Go on now go, walk out the door
just disappear now
’cause you’re not welcome anymore
weren’t you the one who tried not to bid goodbye
you think you’d Con Ass
you think we’d let you even try

GMA:
Oh no, not I
I will survive
oh as long as i know how to bribe
I know I will stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my cash to give
and I’ll survive
I will survive hey hey

_________
“Doesn’t the fight for survival also justify swindle and theft? In self defense, anything goes.” ~Imelda Marcos

Survey Says
Who should be 2009’s “Filipino(s) of the Year?”
Efren Peñaflorida and his “Kariton Klassroom” group :31%
Manny Pacquiao for his 7th world title :5%
Ordinary Filipinos/volunteers during the onslaught of twin typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng :64%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

OF CANDIDATES AND CARNAGE

LP’s Standard Bearer
Liberal Party’s Noynoy Aquino filed his certificate of candidacy for president Saturday, November 28. Television host Boy Abunda, sister Kris Aquino, Cesar Montano, Gretchen Barreto, Dingdong Dantes, Marian Rivera, Kim Chiu, Enchong Dee, Erich Gonzales, and Coco Martin accompanied Noynoy when he filed his COC. However, they were barred from entering the Comelec office because they were carrying torches.

Noynoy Aquino’s girlfriend Shalani Soledad was also outside the Comelec office when he filed his COC. While she was not carrying a torch, she was also refused entry by the security guards who claimed they merely acted on orders from Kris Aquino.

A huge crowd accompanied Sen. Noynoy Aquino when he filed his certificate of candidacy for president last Saturday, November 28. According to newspapers, 2,000 people came out. According to cops, 1,500. According to the Social Weather Stations, 60 percent.

Mar Files COC
Sen. Mar Roxas has officially filed his certificate of candidacy for vice president. Korina Sanchez is now an official candidate for Second Lady.

Mikey’s Plans
Speaking before some 200 local officials from Pampanga who serenaded President Arroyo at Malacañang Palace, Second District Rep. Mikey Arroyo said he was more than willing to give up his House seat for his mother, President Arroyo. And while on vacation, Mikey plans to study the correct procedure in declaring his statement of assets, liabilities and net worth.

Ano ang nararapat na caption, deskripsyon, o pamagat sa larawang ito?
A) “Kung hindi manguna sa survey ng Pulse Asia, manguna man lang sana sa tindig at porma.”

B) Sa ating lahat na lumaki sa “Batibot,” handa… awit!
“Pagsama-samahin ang pare-pareho
Ang magkakatulad ay ating igrupo
Kay sayang libangan, kay daling gawin
Ang pare-pareho, pagsamahin natin.”

C) “TG Guingona was here.”

D) “The boat is sinking. Group yourselves into… 6!”

E) Buhay na buhay ang tsansa nilang manalo… hanggang sa mamatay si Cory Aquino.

Ampatuan Jr.
Datu Unsay, Maguindanao Mayor Andal Ampatuan Jr. was brought to Manila aboard a chopper last Thursday night. Unknown to many though, it took several hours before Ampatuan Jr. was convinced to ride the helicopter… because he insisted on riding a backhoe instead.

Ampatuan Jr. II
Datu Unsay, Maguindanao Mayor Andal Ampatuan Jr. was separated from other inmates at the NBI jail because he was considered a high-risk prisoner. Since being airlifted to Manila last Thursday, sources say Ampatuan Jr. has been restless, and keeps looking for his wives, his children, and his political party.

Ampatuan Jr’s Foe
When Buluan, Maguindanao Vice Mayor Ismael Mangudadatu saw Andal Ampatuan Jr. during the inquest proceeding at General Santos City last Thursday, Mangudadatu said, “Gusto ko siyang kainin!” But the grieving vice mayor changed his mind when Ampatuan Jr. revealed, “Ipinaglihi ako sa baboy.”

GMA’s Spokesperson
Deputy presidential spokesperson Lorelie Fajardo dismissed the Maguindanao massacre as a mere “incident between two families.” She added, “I don’t think the President’s friendship with the Ampatuans will be severed.” The president is now studying recommendations to sever her ties with Fajardo.

Battle Cry
OBAMA: “Change? Yes, we can!”
AMPATUAN Jr.: “Murder? Yes, I can!”
____________________
“We need a law that will permit a voter to sue a candidate for breach of promise.”
~Anonymous

Stay safe. Have a productive week ahead!

SAVAGE II

FIFTY-SEVEN PEOPLE MURDERED. It’s hard to write a funny blog entry when the week’s biggest issue involves not just a family of political warlords but a clan of savage beasts.

Photos of the Weak

Ano ang angkop na caption, pamagat, o deskripsyon para sa mga larawang ito?
A) “Zoo Warning: Huwag lumapit sa hayop. Pumapatay.”

B) “Hindi ako natatakot! Si Siegfred Fortun ang abogado ko! Abogado yata ni Erap ‘yun!”

C) “Humanda kayong lahat paglabas ko rito!”

D) “So, ganyan pala ang hitsura n’yong mga journalists kapag buhay kayo. ‘Sensya na huh! ‘Yung huling grupo kasi ng mga journalists na nakita ko, nakapikit lahat eh.”

E) “Hindi po totoong pinatalsik kami sa Lakas-Kampi-CMD. Plano talaga naming lumipat sa Liberal Party!”

F) “Breaking News: Zoologists baffled at captured beast with human-like features”
________
“Violence in any form is evil and to kill innocents is tantamount to blatant savagery.”
~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Survey Says
Note: This poll was posted before the Supreme Court ruled that political advertisements may be aired/shown outside the campaign period.
Should the Comelec allow the showing of the movies of celebrities seeking elective posts in 2010?
YES. 10%
NO. 65%
Whatever. I don’t care. 24%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Have a SAFE weekend.

In Memoriam
(Thanks to Julius Babao for the link to this image)

Elsewhere
Newsbreak Online says ‘Cory Aquino gave Ampatuan patriarch his break’ Interesting. Ano kaya ang reaksyon ni Noynoy Aquino tungkol dito? Let’s see. Baka kailangan munang mag-retreat.

SAVAGE

APOLOGIES for not updating this blog sooner. I am really busy this week.

But thank you for ALWAYS dropping by to check.

It’s a really tough week for me. I have to work in order to survive. But at least I’m not quitting. The last time I checked, my surname was Landicho, not Escudero.

A while back, I was reading the news online and one particular item caught my attention. Scientists have discovered the fiercest and most vicious species of animal in all of Southeast Asia. They named it Ampatuans sp.

However, I started to doubt the scientists’ claim about the viciousness of the newly discovered species when I read this other headline:

Here’s the shocking part. While scientists insist that Ampatuans sp. is a new species, my other sources say the vicious animal has been existent for decades. In fact, Philippine President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo has been breeding the species since she rose into power.

Now, some people are asking: is she not afraid of Ampatuans sp.? After all, they kill. I don’t know for sure but this headline hints that she is:

This just in: To prevent the Ampatuans sp. from harming President Arroyo, her allies have decided to just “release” the animals from the Malacañang zoo.

Warning: The Ampatuans could be anywhere right now. Remember: They kill.

So be vigilant. And don’t be afraid of this vicious species.
May araw din sila.

For your reference:

[Photo released by the Presidential Close-in Photographer's Office]

EFREN PEÑAFLORIDA, HERO

Efren Peñaflorida, the Filipino who started the “Kariton Klassroom” to bring education to poor children in slums and on the streets has been named 2009 CNN Hero of the Year… sending a clear message to the rest of the world that the Philippines is not just a nation of boxers.

Efren Peñaflorida, the street educator who started a “pushcart classroom” has been named CNN Hero of the Year for 2009. The guy is all over the news. He is very popular right now. He has become so famous, Noynoy Aquino’s popularity is expected to drop by another 15 percent.

Filipino Efren Peñaflorida has been named CNN Hero of the Year. I seriously admire the guy. And people are now talking about his accomplishments. They’re really surprised! They couldn’t believe that Efren has a better track record than Noynoy Aquino.

Congratulations to Efren Peñaflorida, CNN Hero of the Year. Until he made the headlines, many people were not aware of his work. And in case you’re still not familiar with the guy, Efren Peñaflorida is a 28-year-old man from Cavite who was giving education to street kids while Manny Villar was giving away houses to game show contestants.

Filipino Efren Peñaflorida has been named CNN Hero of the Year. Everyone is heaping well-deserved praises on him. He is really popular right now. To give you an idea how famous Efren has become, if he decides to run for president, Loren Legarda is reportedly willing to defect to his party.

Efren Peñaflorida, the street educator who started a “pushcart classroom” has been named CNN Hero of the Year for 2009. Everyone is talking about his work and his feat. In fact, he is so popular right now, Pulse Asia’s latest survey shows that he ranks a notch higher than Gilbert Teodoro.

Efren Peñaflorida has been named CNN Hero of the Year. And why not? Efren’s story is really touching: he started the ‘Kariton Klassroom’ to educate street kids. His story is so inspiring, Mar Roxas has decided to ditch the ‘padyak’ for a pushcart in his next TV ad.

Did you see the awards ceremonies online? The moment Efren was announced the winner was so moving I held back tears while watching. And I’m telling you, I rarely shed a tear. The only time I cried this year was when my friend Chiz Escudero announced that he had no campaign funds to pursue his bid for the presidency.

A hero’s welcome awaits Efren Peñaflorida when he returns to the country. In fact, his supporters have prepared tarpaulins to welcome him. They so wanted to hang the tarps in different locations in Metro Manila but the most visible sites have reportedly been reserved for Bayani Fernando.

Filipino Efren Peñaflorida has been named CNN Hero of the Year. Ten finalists were chosen by CNN and the winner was determined through online voting. Some 2.5 million votes were cast and Efren won. Now here’s what bothers me: DILG Sec. Ronaldo Puno claims he is behind Efren’s successful campaign.

Efren Peñaflorida has been named CNN Hero of the Year. When news of his win came out, street kids in Cavite called him and said, “Mabuhay ka Kuya Efren!” President Arroyo told him, “You’re a true hero!” And Joseph Estrada said, “Inuman na!”

CNN has named Efren Peñaflorida of the Philippines Hero of the Year. Already a top 10 finalist, Efren was shocked when CNN anchor Anderson Cooper declared him the winner. And he was shocked even more when, while accepting the award, Chavit Singson went on stage and stood beside him.

In case you didn’t know, CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who handed the award to CNN Hero of the Year Efren Peñaflorida, is gay. Yup Anderson is a homosexual. When the Commission on Elections Second Division heard the news, they urged Efren to return the award because it was “immoral.”
________
“If everybody was satisfied with himself there would be no heroes.”
~Mark Twain

Survey Says
Like Barack Obama, should Noynoy Aquino stop smoking?
YES. :45%
NO. 3%
Do i look like someone who gives a damn? :52%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

A SHOW OF FORCE

THANK CALENDARS IT’S FRIDAY! Manny Pacquiao arrived this morning from Los Angeles. And today marks the start of the filing of certificates of candidacy for the 2010 elections. But you know what the week’s biggest news was? The emergence of a new dominant political party: “Ang Partido Oportunista ng Pilipinas.”

Earlier this week, the Oxford University Press picked “unfriend” as the Word of the Year. To unfriend someone is to delete him or her from your social life – just like what Vilma Santos, Ralph Recto, Recom Echeverri, Mayor Sonny Belmonte, and Herbert Bautista did to Lakas-Kampi-CMD.

National Convention
The ruling Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party held its national convention yesterday at the PICC. Thousands of party members representing each of the country’s geographical regions attended the convention. The atmosphere was relaxed and lively, and attendees were in high spirits. Apparently, everyone was prepared to lose.

In her farewell speech as party chair, President Arroyo claimed that Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party members comprise 72 percent of national and local officials. The farewell speech was written when Cory Aquino was still alive.

In an apparent effort to show that his political party values substance over popularity, Atty. Gilbert Teodoro talked at length about his platform of government. To give you an idea how long Gibô’s speech was, Noynoy Aquino has consumed three packs of cigarettes before he was through.

There have been conflicting reports as to the exact number of attendees in yesterday’s Lakas-Kampi-CMD national convention. The Philippine Daily Inquirer says 3,000. ABS-CBN and GMA 7 say 2,894. Pulse Asia says 2 percent.

In yesterday’s national convention of Lakas-Kampi-CMD, 2,894 people were reportedly present at the PICC: 894 were members of the party; the rest were members of the media.

After Atty. Gilbert Teodoro was proclaimed Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party’s official candidate for president, his wife Nikki Prieto-Teodoro joined him on stage. For a brief moment, Sen. Jamby Madrigal who was watching the live event on TV considered defecting to Lakas.

Lakas-Kampi-CMD members had a show of force in yesterday’s national convention. And despite the recent defections of some prominent members, those who stayed all looked energized. In fact, before the convention started, they eagerly talked about their plans, platforms, and Pinky Webb.

Edu and Pinky
The ruling party’s vice presidential bet Edu Manzano and tv presenter Pinky Webb have called it quits. Rumors say Webb was compelled to break up with Edu when she learned that ABS-CBN was arranging the couple’s live guesting on Wowowee. [Read: Webb did not want to cheapen the romance. Ouch! May tinamaan. Sino kaya?]

Titigan ang larawan. Ano sa palagay mo ang nasa isip ni Edu Manzano nang sandaling iyon?
A) “Sige! Ipamukha n’yo pang single ako. Sige lang!”
B) “Ikaw ngayon, Nikki. Ako, mamayang gabi.”
C) “Hay naku Pinky. Wrong timing ka talaga!”
D) “OA naman ‘to kung makahalik. Parang ‘di 2 percent ang rating!”

Osmeña No Longer a Liberal
Fed up with the “infighting” and “Mafia” in the Liberal Party, former senator Sergio Osmeña III has decided to quit the party. He has also rejected the offer of Erap’s party, and Villar’s Nacionalista Party saying, “My loyalty is to the Filipino people,” to which NPC’s Danding Cojuangco said, “Narinig ko na ‘yan eh.”

Osmeña No Longer a Liberal II
Former senator Sergio Osmeña III has quit the Liberal Party. Noynoy Aquino was unfazed by Osmeña’s decision though, and despite the intrigues, Noynoy said he would never quit the Liberal Party; he would never quit the opposition, and he would never quit smoking.

Ebdane’s VP
Presidential aspirant and former DPWH secretary Hermogenes Ebdane Jr. has vowed to reveal his running mate and senatorial bets on November 29. But first, he needs to inform them that they are his running mate and senatorial bets.

Marcoses Support Villar
Ilocos Norte Rep. Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. says the Marcoses have decided to support Nacionalista Party’s Manuel Villar Jr. in next year’s elections. Bongbong’s elder sister Imee, herself a former member of the Lower House has opted not to seek any elective post and will pursue instead a career in ventriloquism.

Early Bird
Marcos loyalist and controversial lawyer Oliver Lozano today filed his certificate of candidacy for president. He did it ahead of other perceived presidential frontrunners. Lozano insists he ‘plans and thinks ahead of everyone.’ To give you an idea how ‘advance’ Lozano’s mindset was, after filing his COC for president… he filed an impeachment complaint against himself.

Manny Is Back
The People’s Champ Manny Pacquiao arrived in the country today with wife, Jinkee. As if to quell rumors that their marriage is on the rocks, the couple gamely kissed during a television interview. Some described the kiss as “sweet.” Some described it as “awesome.” Others described it as ‘damage control.’
__________
“An organization that is strong and stable and is ready to commit time, money, and patience will be more apt to reap rewards than the quick-hitting opportunist.”
~Richard Miller

Light Bites: From Somewhere
Manny Pacquiao: Pacman
Mommy Dionisia: Pacmom
Krista Ranillo: Pacbet (Pambansang Ka__)

Survey Says
Are gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders marginalized, and therefore, must have representation in Congress?
ABSOLUTELY! :33%
NOPE, They are not! :27%
THEY ARE but no need to be represented in Congress :40%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Enjoy your weekend!

THE SEARCH IS OVER, TOO

SENATOR MANNY VILLAR has formally declared Sen. Loren Legarda as his running mate in next year’s national elections. For helping him find Legarda after weeks of an agonizing search, Villar thanked his partymates, his loyal supporters, his family, and Chiz Escudero.

Things In Common
In declaring her support for the Nacionalista Party’s unofficial presidential candidate, Sen. Loren Legarda said, she and Manny Villar “share many things in common.” They both have the same vision; they both have the same platform, and they both have no other choice.

Nacionalista Party’s Manny Villar has chosen Sen. Loren Legarda as his official vice presidential running mate… prompting game show host Willie Revillame to initiate talks with Sen. Chiz Escudero.

Sen. Loren Legarda has found a new partner. Surprisingly, she picked someone who’s only 60 years old.

Ralph and Vi
Former senator Ralph Recto and his wife, Batangas Gov. Vilma Santos have left the ruling coalition and joined the Liberal Party. Ralph said he decided to leave Lakas and join the LP after a month of consultations with leaders, stakeholders, family, friends and staff. Vilma explained she decided to leave Lakas and join the LP after a month of consultation with Luis.

Pulse Asia Survey
Sen. Noynoy Aquino topped the latest Pulse Asia survey on ‘presidentiables’ with 44 percent. The ruling party’s bet, Gilbert Teodoro got 2 percent. Actually, he got 10 percent in the initial tally but before the final results could be announced, 8 percent of the respondents have already defected to Noynoy.

Comelec vs. ‘Ang Ladlad’
Trying to justify his decision to reject the application for accreditation of “Ang Ladlad” in the party list polls next year, Comelec Commissioner Nicodemo Ferrer says homosexuals are actually “over-represented” in both Houses of Congress. Ferrer vowed to unmask the gay senators and congressmen when he debuts as guest co-host on… “The Buzz.” Su-su-nod!

Comelec vs. ‘Ang Ladlad’ II
Comelec Commissioner Nicodemo Ferrer said there was no need to accredit ‘Ang Ladlad’ because homosexuals were actually “over-represented” in both the Lower House and the Senate… to which Sen. Jamby Madrigal said, “Weh?”

Comelec vs. ‘Ang Ladlad’ III
Comelec Commissioner Nicodemo Ferrer says there’s no need to accredit ‘Ang Ladlad’ as a party list group since homosexuals are “over-represented” in both the Lower House and the Senate. Pressed by the media to identify them, Ferrer answered, “Sinetch sila?!? Wiz ko sila namesung. Baka ma-imbyerna ang mga lola at tsugiin ako. This press con is so over! Babush!”

Nograles for Gays
Taking the cudgels for ‘Ang Ladlad,’ House Speaker Prospero Nograles dismissed the Comelec’s claim that gays were “overrepresented” in Congress. Nograles insisted that ‘Ang Ladlad’ should be accredited since the solons being referred to by Ferrer were members of another group, ‘Ang Tagô.’

Pacman’s Homecoming
The National Capital Region will reportedly deploy 2,000 policemen on Friday to secure Manny Pacquiao. Another group of 3,000 cops will be deployed to secure Krista Ranillo. [Humanda ka sa fans ni Jinkee!]
__________
“The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision.”
~Lynn Lavner

Survey Says
Forget about the money! Who would you rather have as a boyriend:
Noynoy Aquino :37%
Manny Pacquiao :63%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Elsewhere
I was supposed to write about this but Newsbreak already came up with a similar observation: the 2010 polls are a battle of universities, too

What’s the word of the year according to Oxford University Press? Find out here.

Here’s the controversial paparazzi video of Manny Pacquiao and an unidentified girl after the former’s guesting on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

Personal
Ito ay isang panawagan sa National Historical Institute na patuloy sa pagpapaunlak ng panayam sa media kaugnay ng anila’y maling pag-awit ng La Diva sa Lupang Hinirang noong laban ni Manny Pacquiao. If the ladies violated the law, then sanction them according to the written rules and regulations ng NHI. Dakdak kayo nang dakdak noon pa mang Pacquiao-Hatton fight, pero wala naman kayong ginagawang aksyon. Nasaan na si Martin Nievera? Naparusahan ba? If there’s a law, then impose the freakin’ law. Hindi ‘yung putak kayo nang putak, wala naman kayong kongkretong aksyong ginagawa laban sa mga “nagkamali.” Punyeta!

THE LORD OF THE RING

MANNY PACQUIAO has won his seventh title in seven weight divisions. With his latest victory, Pacquiao is expected to reclaim the “Most Popular Guy in the Philippines” title from Noynoy Aquino.

New Champ, New Fight
Minutes after Manny Pacquiao outclassed Puerto Rican champ Miguel Cotto, the crowd chanted, ‘We want Floyd! We want Floyd!” Pacquiao answered, “I want Chiongbian! I want Chiongbian!”

Manny Pacquiao won his bout against Miguel Cotto as a welterweight. His next “fight” will be in May 2010 where he’ll try his luck as a ‘lightweight.’

Miguel Cotto himself has hinted during the fight that he was willing to try politics soon. In fact, even before declaring his candidacy, he had tried to run several times.

Pacman Fanatics
Dozens of Filipino politicians have joined the bandwagon and declared themselves members of Team Pacquiao… except for Sen. Chiz Escudero who refused to join any group and declared himself member of Team Pilipinas.

Pacquiao’s 7th Title
Manny Pacquiao became the first boxer to win seven world titles in seven different divisions. The only other Filipino to achieve an almost similar feat was Ronaldo Puno – operating for three different presidential bets and winning all three elections.

Pacquiao’s 7th Title II
Sen. Loren Legarda congratulated Manny Pacquiao for winning his seventh world title in seven weight divisions. Legarda said she could actually relate to Pacquiao because “2010 will mark my fourth candidacy under my fifth political party.”

More Reactions
Sen. Manuel Villar Jr. congratulated Manny Pacquiao for his win saying, “You inspired our people to keep trying to make the impossible happen…” something that Villar himself hopes to duplicate in 2010.

In a text message to the Philippine Daily Inquirer, House Speaker Prospero Nograles said, “At least for one brief shining moment, we in the Philippines forgot all our problems.” Until Chavit Singson climbed into the ring.

Nacionalista Party’s Pia Cayetano said the win “brings hope to a people badly in need of inspiration.” More importantly, it brings hope to a presidential aspirant badly in need of a running mate.

Muntinlupa Rep. Ruffy Biazon described Manny’s feat as “One win by one man, but a victory for millions of Filipinos.” He then looked at the moon and smiled.

At press time though, presidential frontrunner Noynoy Aquino of the Liberal Party has not issued a statement on Manny Pacquiao’s victory… mainly because the draft of his congratulatory message has yet to be approved by the Pink Sisters.

QUESTION: Sino o ano ang inyong nakikita sa larawan?
A) Makikita sa foreground ‘yong winner; makikita sa background ‘yong loser!
B) ‘Yong nasa unahan, mukha ng bayani. ‘Yong nasa likuran, mukhang babalato.
C) Ahhh, madali lang! ‘Yong nasa unahan, kampeon. ‘Yong nasa likuran, kampon.
D) Anong problema n’yo?!? Close silang dalawa eh, mahirap bang tanggapin ‘yun? Manigas kayo sa inggit!

Cotto’s Millions
Despite losing his welterweight title to Manny Pacquiao, Miguel Cotto still pocketed 7 million dollars – half of which will be spent to reconstruct his face.

Jinkee Was There
Pacquiao’s wife Jinkee, considers herself lucky because she was able to watch the fight at ringside. Starlet Krista Ranillo considers herself luckier because the night before the fight, she was at Manny’s bedside.

Big Punches
Manny Pacquiao landed 276 punches out of 560 attempts or 49 percent while Cotto connected on just 93 of 300 power punches thrown or 31 percent… five percent lower than Jinkee Pacquiao’s monthly average.

Mayweather Jr. Is Next?
Fans and supporters of Manny Pacquiao at the MGM Grand Garden Arena wanted him to beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. next. But fans and supporters of Jinkee Pacquiao are more excited to see her beat up Krista Ranillo first.

Roach is the Best
When Pacquiao demolished Cotto, boxing analysts finally understood the genius of Freddie Roach. Now, if they could only understand what he’s saying.

Crime-Free RP
Authorities say the Philippines registered near-zero crime during the Pacquiao-Cotto fight. Robbers stayed home, NPA rebels and Army soldiers observed an undeclared truce, and the More Islamic Liberation Front delayed the kidnapping of another priest.

Celebrities in Attendance
Spotted during the fight were Hollywood celebrities like Denzel Washington, Will Ferrell, Joe Pesci, Jeremy Piven, Mark Wahlberg, Mickey Rourke, P. Diddy, Paris Hilton, rapper/DJ Jermaine Dupri, Magic Johnson, Shane Mosley and several other prominent figures. For a brief moment, promoter Bob Arum considered playing the song, “Hindi Ka Nag-iisa.”

But an awkward thing happened before the fight began. When TV cameras focused on starlet Krista Ranillo, Manny started humming, ‘Sometimes When We Touch.’

Twelve Rounds
Friends who failed to watch the fight texted me and asked how long did the fight last. I replied: On radio, 12 rounds; on GMA-7, 12 years. [Punyetang mga commercials ‘yan!]

La Diva
La Diva – a trio of virtually unknown Filipino singers was applauded for their rendition of the Philippine National Anthem before the Pacquiao-Cotto bout. I heard they were paid in dollars. They’re now on their way back to the country to buy a career.
__________
“I was actually pretending it didn’t hurt, but it really hurt, you know.”
~Manny Pacquiao during a post-fight press conference

Elsewhere
CNN Sports Illustrated’s Bryan Graham enumerates the “Five things we learned from the Pacquiao-Cotto fight”

Survey Says
Who is your vice president?
JEJOMAR Binay :7%
LOREN Legarda :5%
EDU Manzano :12%
MAR ROXAS :46%
Wala na lang. :30%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

THE SEARCH IS OVER

Gibô’s Running Mate
TV host/actor Edu Manzano will be the running mate of Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party presidential bet Gilbert Teodoro. In making the announcement, Teodoro lauded Manzano for his “experience,” “clean record in local government,” “advocacies for young Filipinos,” and “preparedness to lose big time.”

Gibô’s Running Mate II
Actor Edu Manzano has agreed to become the running mate of Lakas-Kampi-CMD standard bearer Gilbert Teodro. Manzano admits he’s got no plans of seeking a higher elective post… until he received a text message from Lakas-Kampi-CMD stalwart Ronaldo Puno that said: “Earn 50 million in 6 months! Absolutely no cash out. Hurry! Offer’s good until midnight of December 1 only.”

Gibô’s Running Mate III
Actor Edu Manzano has agreed to become the running mate of Gilbert Teodro. Manzano believes that by running for vice president, he would finally have a chance to serve the poor, inspire the youth, and beat Jejomar Binay.

Gibô’s Running Mate IV
Former Game KNB? host, Edu Manzano admitted that he was hesitant to accept the ruling party’s offer to become its vice presidential bet. But when he saw Gibô for the first time in person last Wednesday, “all my qualms went out of the window.” It was love at first sight. (Awrrr!)

Gibô’s Running Mate V
Edu Manzano’s decision to run as vice president of Gilbert Teodoro surprised the Liberal Party. In fact, Noynoy Aquino was so shocked his mouth voluntarily closed for the first time.

Gibô’s Running Mate VI
Edu Manzano’s decision to run as vice president of Gilbert Teodoro surprised the Puwersa ng Masang Pilipino. In fact, Joseph Estrada was so shocked, he uttered his initial reaction in flawless English.

Briefly Noted
ABS-CBN talent Edu Manzano, boyfriend of ABS-CBN news presenter Pinky Webb is the running mate of the ruling party’s presidential bet Gilbert Teodoro. Sen. Loren Legarda, former ABS-CBN news presenter is set to declare her alliance with Nacionalista Party’s Manuel Villar Jr. whose No. 1 supporter is another ABS-CBN talent Willie Revillame. Of course, there’s the tandem of Liberal Party’s Noynoy Aquino, brother of prized ABS-CBN talent Kris Aquino, and Mar Roxas, husband of ABS-CBN chief correspondent Korina Sanchez. And don’t forget Joseph Estrada, father-in-law of a Lopez scion, Beaver. It’s ABS-CBN vs. ABS-CBN vs. ABS-CBN vs. ABS-CBN in 2010. This just in! The Commission on Elections has just declared the network an election hot spot.

Light Bites
Q: Why is Lakas-Kampi-CMD considered an environment-friendly party?
A: Because in choosing its vice presidential bet, it went from Puno to Papaya

In Other News… Clinton in Manila
Authorities went on high alert during the two-day Manila visit of US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Security was so tight police thought they were at the wedding of Mar and Korina.

Comelec vs. “Ang Ladlad”
Citing passages from the Bible and the Koran, the Commission on Elections’ Second Division dismissed the petition for accreditation in the party list elections of ‘Ang Ladlad’ – an organization promoting the rights and welfare of lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender, saying the group “tolerates immorality.” To know more about the decision, the Comelec’s pastoral letter will be read in tomorrow’s Sunday mass.

Losses
Pilipinas Shell claims it has lost 81 million pesos in six days because of the oil price freeze… something that pales in comparison to the experience of the government itself: on Day 1 of Angelo Reyes’ appointment, the government lost him to the oil companies.
_____________

Survey Says
Lakas-Kampi-CMD allies are defecting to the Liberal Party and the Nacionalista Party. Your take:
-Bravo! Matatalino! ‘Yan ang tamang hakbang tungo sa pagbabago!: 6%
-Ang kakapal ng mukha! Mga balimbing! Mga oportunista! :75%
-Wala akong pakialam. :19%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

MR. POGI

Thorn Between Two Lovers

BETWEEN regular posts, I will try to share some juicy blind items on political personalities. For my non-Facebook pals, here’s one from a very reliable source:

The Location
Somewhere up north.

The Scene
Wannabe politician “Pennsylvania Michigan” was canoodling with “RhodeIsland Kentucky” when Pennsylvania Michigan’s other paramour, wannabe politician “Missouri Arkansas” arrived unannounced.

Aides of Pennsylvania Michigan advised Missouri Arkansas to wait in the living room.

After more than one hour, Pennsylvania Michigan and RhodeIsland Kentucky emerged from the room and headed downstairs.

Shocked to see RhodeIsland Kentucky, an irate Missouri Arkansas confronted Pennsylvania Michigan, and yelled: “Pinaghintay mo ‘ko?!? Pinaghintay mo ‘ko ng ganung katagal dahil lang dito? Sino ba ‘to?”

That moment, Pennsylvania Michigan felt like Brad Pitt torn between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston.

Postscript
RhodeIsland Kentucky’s dad is also seeking an elective post in the coming elections.

_______
“Adultery is the application of democracy to love.”
~Henry Louis Mencken

Briefly Noted
I just saw Bongbong Marcos’ new political ad. It says, “Tuloy tuloy… ASIKASONG BONGBONG.” Buhay pa pala siya?!? At bigla raw niya tayong “inasikaso.” Meh ganun?

SEASON’S GREETINGS

Villar’s VP?
Without naming names, senatorial aspirant Adel Tamano of the Nacionalista Party says Sen. Manuel Villar Jr.’s running mate possesses the “3M” qualities: “maganda,” “matalino,” and “maka-kalikasan.” Vice presidential aspirant Loren Legarda who felt alluded to, said her presidential running mate also possessed the “3M” qualities: “masipag,” “matiyaga” and “malapit nang magpanic kapag ‘di pa ako nag-yes sa kanyang offer.”

Gibo’s VP
The ruling Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party has reportedly given up efforts to lure Sen. Loren Legarda into teaming up with Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro. With this development, the ruling coalition’s choice for vice president is now down to two: “John” and “Jane Doe.”

Binay’s Birthday
Birthday boy Jejomar Binay is celebrating his 67th birthday on November 11. Political observers doubt though if he’s really 67 years old… because he’s been mayor of Makati City for like half a century.

Binay’s Birthday II
Last Monday, November 9, Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay and his wife, former Makati City mayor Dr. Elenita Binay hosted a star-studded joint birthday party at the A. Venue Mall in Makati City. Opposition stalwarts and supporters were all present… except for Sen. Chiz Escudero who has made himself clear that he no longer believes in parties.

Binay’s Birthday III
Braving the dangerous traffic and the menacing stare of a Makati traffic enforcer, I personally took a photo of this eye-catching tarpaulin at the corner of Makati Avenue and JP Rizal St. in Makati City around 4pm, Tuesday.

Sampung Katanungang Naglaro sa Aking Isipan Matapos Kong Masilayan ang Tarpaulin ni Jose De Venecia III Para Kay Makati City Mayor Jejomar Cabauatan Binay, Birthday Boy

Una: Bakit kailangang idaan sa tarpaulin ang pagbati?

Pangalawa: Hindi ba niya alam ang cellphone number o landline ni Mayor Binay upang mabati niya ito ng personal?

Pangatlo: Bakit sa panulukan pa ng JP Rizal St. at Makati Avenue inilagay ang tarpaulin gayong pwede naman itong isabit sa harap ng bahay ng mga Binay o kaya ay sa city hall upang mas madaling makita ng may kaarawan?

Pang-apat: Kailangan ba talagang may larawan pa ni Joey De Venecia sa tarpaulin?

Panglima: Hindi pa ba siya kilala ni Mayor Binay kaya’t kinailangan pang i-imprenta ang kanyang mukha?

Pang-anim: Titigan ang larawan at sagutin: Ano ang kahalagahan o kaugnayan ng website ni Joey De Venecia sa kaarawan ni Mayor Binay?

Pampito: Kung nabasa ni Mayor Binay ang naturang pagbati, sa palagay n’yo ba ay magpapagawa din ito ng tarpaulin upang iparating ang mensaheng ito: “Maraming salamat sa iyong pagbati Joey De Venecia III! From Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay www.makati.gov.ph” Kung oo, saang panulukan naman kaya niya isasabit ang tarpaulin?

Pangwalo: Bakit parang galit na galit ako sa naturang tarpaulin? Ikaw, anong nararamdaman mo?

Pangsiyam: Bakit kailangan ko pang magtanong gayong alam ko na naman ang sagot?

At pansampu: Ilang daang “Joey De Venecia III” pa kaya sa iba’t ibang panig ng bansa ang magsasabit ng tarpaulin sa mga lansangan, panulukan, gusali, at poste ng kuryente bago dumating ang halalan?

Santiago vs. Puno
Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago asked the Senate to file plunder charges against former DPWH Road Board Executive Director Rodolfo ‘Dodie’ Puno for the alleged misuse of some P60.5 billion in road users’ tax. Criticizing Puno’s lavish lifestyle, Santiago also threatened to reveal the names of his mistresses and girlfriends… to which Tonyboy Cojuangco said, “That is not a good idea.”

Petroleum Shortage?
Echoing the oil firms’ opposition to the government-imposed fuel price freeze in Luzon, the honorable Angelo Reyes says the country’s inventory of imported petroleum products is just enough for 13 days. But that’s still good news considering the fact that the government has no energy secretary for more than two years now.

Alvin Flores Gang
Remember last week’s raid on the suspected hideout of the notorious Alvin Flores Gang in Bulacan? The raid yielded high-powered guns and ammunitions, grenade launchers, two-way radios, and Alvin Flores’ two used faces.

Alvin Flores Gang II
The doctor who performed cosmetic surgery on Alvin Flores revealed that the notorious gang leader was gay and wanted to look like BB Gandanghari. The surgeon also confirmed a gang member’s revelation that the Rolex heist in Greenbelt was a mistake. Flores’ original target was L’Oréal.
______________
“Leadership has been defined as the ability to hide your panic from others.”
~Anonymous

Just Asking
Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Conrado De Quiros originated it.
Other columnists concurred.
The Liberal Party adopted it.
“The 2010 election is a fight between good and evil,” i.e. Noynoy and the Liberals, the good side; GMA and her allies, the evil side.
Over the weekend, several allies of GMA defected to the Liberal Party, and more are expected to jump ship as the deadline for the filing of the certificates of candidacy nears. Question: Does the shift in allegiance automatically make the turncoats “good,’ or do they remain evil?

Just So You Know
A radio serial drama on the life, love, and rise to fame of MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando is being aired on DZRH 666kHz. The 14-part series is called “Ang Manggagawa.” And this just in! Sen. Chiz Escudero has expressed interest in serializing his life story too. The tentative title, “Ang Mang-nga-ngawa!”

Light Bites
Q: Why did Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago reject the offer of President Arroyo to become DENR secretary?
A: Galit siya sa mga PUNO.

Personal
If you have original “political” images similar to that JDVIII photo above, you may email them to The Professional Heckler: professionalheckler@yahoo.com Pictures taken using cellular phones are just fine. Chosen photos will be used in future blog posts. Senders will be acknowledged. Thank you so much.

Lastly, for featuring yet again this blog on ANC’s Strictly Politics, thank you so much Ms. Pia Hontiveros. Catch her show every Tuesday, 8:00 to 9:00 PM on the ABS-CBN News Channel.

TURNCOATS

FIRST, some weather news. PAGASA’s Nathaniel “Mang Tanny” Cruz today clarified there’s no tropical cyclone coming. He made the clarification after receiving numerous phone calls asking why several people have started to flee… the country’s ruling party.

Mass Exodus
Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim, Governors Ayong Malicsi, Robert Ace Barbers, & Luis Raymond Villafuerte, ex-solon Hernani Braganza, and actor Cesar Montano led the mass exodus of several Lakas-Kampi-CMD allies to the Liberal Party and the Nacionalista Party… prompting President Arroyo to place the entire ruling coalition under a state of calamity.

Lakas Convention
The ruling Lakas-Kampi-CMD Party will hold a national convention on November 19 at the PICC. To ensure a relaxed atmosphere during the convention, the program will start with an icebreaker – a popular parlor game called “The Boat Is Sinking…”

Ebdane Declares Bid
Former Public Works and Highways Sec. Hermogenes Ebdane Jr. has formally announced his bid for the presidency in 2010 under the banner of the Philippine Labor and Peasant Party formerly known as Lapiang Manggagawa. Malacañang lauded Ebdane’s bid for the presidency… mainly because it would help Gilbert Teodoro avert a last place finish.

Oil Price Freeze
Government representatives and industry players will meet today to assess the two-week impact of Executive Order 839, which freezes fuel prices at October 15 levels. The result of the crucial meeting will be made public immediately by the oil companies’ official spokesperson – Secretary Angelo Reyes.

Mindanao Theme Park
The good news is a 1.2-billion peso theme park financed by convicted child rapist and former congressman Romeo Jalosjos recently opened in Mindanao. The bad news is only kids below 13 years old will be allowed entry.

Mindanao Theme Park II
Seven months after he was pardoned by President Arroyo, child rapist Romeo Jalosjos opened a new theme park in Dapitan City and named it “Gloria’s Fantasyland.” Jalosjos vehemently denied that it was named after President Arroyo, a close ally. Nobody believed him though… mostly because one unique attraction in the theme park is called the “Ro-Ro Ride.”

Manny on TIME
Manny Pacquiao is on the cover of the November 16 issue of TIME. In a related story, Mommy Dionisia landed on the cover of ‘Pastime.’
____________
“I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is.”
~Paul Harvey

Survey Says
Your fearless forecast:
PACQUIAO will knockout COTTO. : 55%
PACQUIAO via a unanimous decision :20%
COTTO will win. Period. :25%

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SPECULATIONS

Pacquiao on US Talk Show
Earlier this week, boxing champion Manny Pacquiao guested on US talk show “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” Asked by Kimmel if he was the most popular guy in all of the Philippines, a grinning Pacquiao answered, “I am. You know… until Cory Aquino died.”

Pacquiao on US Talk Show II
Manny Pacquiao was the special guest this week on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” Asked by Kimmel if he was the most popular guy in all of the Philippines, a grinning Pacquiao answered, “Since September, I am only third. First is Noynoy Aquino, and second is Nathaniel ‘Mang Tanny’ Cruz.”

GMA’s New House?
Malacañang refused to comment on reports that President Arroyo is the owner of a newly-constructed 400-square-meter single-story house in Lubao, Pampanga. But Pampanga Rep. Mikey Arroyo said the media should stop speculating because the house was just a gift from his parents’ wedding sponsors.

Vice President Arroyo?
Quezon Rep. Danilo Suarez, a staunch administration ally, suggested that President Arroyo run for vice president in May 2010… to which Pampanga Rep. Mikey Arroyo said, “Bobo ka ba? Eh ‘di nasayang naman ‘yung bahay sa Lubao.”

ABS-CBN’s Corp Com Head
In a phone interview, ABS-CBN Corporate Communications head Bong Osorio dismissed speculations that ABS-CBN was favoring presidential aspirant Noynoy Aquino. Nope, Osorio is not insulting our intelligence. He is assuming that we don’t have any.

ABS-CBN’s Corp Com Head II
In a phone interview, ABS-CBN Corporate Communications head Bong Osorio dismissed speculations that ABS-CBN was favoring presidential aspirant Noynoy Aquino. In a related story, NBN 4 has dismissed speculations it was favoring the government. And this just in: NET 25 has dismissed speculations it was favoring the Iglesia ni Cristo.

SWS Survey
The latest Social Weather Stations survey showed that 53 percent of Filipino families consider themselves poor. The response of the remaining 47 percent was invalidated because they answered “Noynoy Aquino.”

Freedom Survey
A recent study conducted by the London-based Legatum Institute in tandem with Gallup World Poll showed that 85 percent of Filipinos expressed satisfaction with the freedoms afforded to them in their daily lives. Sen. Chiz Escudero was not among the 85 percent because the study was conducted months before he resigned from NPC.

Freedom Survey 2
According to a study conducted by the London-based Legatum Institute in partnership with Gallup World Poll, “Filipinos enjoy excellent freedom of movement, religion, and speech” – the same freedoms enjoyed most by Loren Legarda, Mike Velarde, and Chiz Escudero, respectively.

Bad Weather
I saw the news last night. Apparently, it’s still flooded in many parts of Pangasinan. Plazas are flooded, churches are flooded, and big malls are flooded prompting San Nicolas, Pangasinan Mayor Leoncio Saldivar III to order his bodyguards to shop in Greenbelt 5.

The Mayor and the Heist
Reports say two of the members of the gang that robbed a Rolex store in Greenbelt 5 last month worked for San Nicolas, Pangasinan Mayor Leoncio Saldivar III. But Saldivar denied any involvement in the Greenbelt 5 incident mainly because he expected the group to rob Glorietta 4 instead.

The Mayor and the Heist II
Remember the Greenbelt 5 robbery last month? It turned out that one of the robbers was the first cousin of San Nicolas, Pangasinan Mayor Leoncio Saldivar III. Sought for comment, Saldivar said, “Eh ano naman ngayon kung pinsang-buo ko ‘yung magnanakaw? Si Mike Arroyo nga eh, asawa ng presidente.”

Plastic Surgery
Alvin Flores, the leader of a robbery gang eponymously named after him, reportedly had his face changed through plastic surgery to evade police detection… something that was totally unnecessary if he were a congressman.
__________
“A speculator is a man who observes the future, and acts before it occurs.”
~Bernard M. Baruch

Survey Says
Are you a registered Filipino voter?
PROUDLY, I am. :74%
NOPE, I wasn’t able to register. :21%
I am not a Filipino. :5%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.

Personal: Follow me on Twitter. Wala lang. Kung ayaw mo, ok lang. Enjoy your freedom. Have a great weekend.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS (VERSION 2009)

BEFORE HE TOOK HIS last breath, Ludwig van Beethoven said, “Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.” Sir Winston Churchill, before falling into a coma murmured, “I’m bored with it all.” And facing his assassin Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier, Ernesto “Che” Guevara uttered, “I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.” Locally, how could showbiz people forget the suicide note of ‘80s bold star Stella Strada? Her final words? “This is a crazy planets!”

As a post-Halloween post, here’s an updated version of my 2007 and 2008 article titled…

Top 20 Last Words and Deathbed Statements of Local Political Figures and Celebrities

No. 20: Boy Abunda: “Now na!”

No. 19: Madam Auring: “Nakikita ko, nararamdaman ko, hahaba pa ang aking buhay.” (Then, she dies.)

No. 18: DILG Sec. Ronaldo Puno: “I’m fed up with life!”

No. 17: Annabelle Rama: “Dung, malakas ang kutob ku dung, nilason ako ni Wilma Galvanti dung!”

No. 16: Kris Aquino: “Hay naku Boy, sabi mo sabay tayo? Nag-promise ka kay Mom, remember? Gosh, kainis ka!”

No. 15: Conrado De Quiros: “30.”

No. 14: Sen. Manny Villar: “60.”

No. 13: Sen. Mar Roxas: “Ramdam ko na… ramdam ko na!” (Gasps for air) ‘Tang-i*aaaa! Puwede bang mag-give way na lang ako?”

No. 12: Korina Sanchez: “Ikaw ang minimithi ng aking puso. Ikaw ang napili kong maging kasama at katabi sa buhay. Ipinapangako ko sa ‘yo na ako ay sa ‘yo. Noon, ngayon at bukas, ako’y iyung-iyo… Lord.”

No. 11: Manny Pacquiao: “You know, I am die and I am ready kaya gusto kong ‘pasalamat sa ating mga kababayan at sa Panginoon sa walang sawang pagsupurta sa akin.”

No. 10: Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “Mr. President and distinguished colleagues, before I die, allow me to unmask the real Joseph Ejercito Estrada.”

No. 9: Sen. Lito Lapid: “Puwede bang mamatay na lang? Wala akong inihandang speech eh.”

No. 8: President Arroyo: “God, wala na ba talagang extension?”

No. 7: Sen. Loren Legarda: “I have already made a decision. I am definitely dying with or without a mate by my deathbed.”

No. 6: Defense Sec. Gilbert Teodoro: [See ‘President Arroyo’]

No. 5: Mayor Jejomar Binay: “Sa Makati, libre ang ospital. Sa Makati, libre ang burol. Sa Makati, libre ang libing. Wala akong gagastusin kapag namatay ako sa Makati. Sana, ganito rin sa inyo kapag kayo ang namatay.”

No. 4: Joseph Estrada: “Sinong maysabing hindi ako pwedeng mamatay? Let the people decide! Vox Ernie, Vox Dei. The voice of Manong Maceda is the voice of God.”

No. 3: Sen. Noynoy Aquino: “Hinihiling ko po sa inyo na kung maaari lamang sana ay bigyan n’yo ako ng ilang araw upang makapag-isip at kumunsulta sa Pink Sisters kung dapat na ba akong pumanaw o hindi pa.”

No. 2: Cong. Mikey Arroyo: “O, eto huh! Baka magtaka na naman ang mga investigative reporters at si Tita Winnie Monsod kapag tumaas ang aking net worth sa ipa-file kong Statement of Assets and Liabilities (SALN) next year. Ngayon pa lang sinasabi ko na sa inyo: hindi ill-gotten ‘yan. Galing ‘yan sa magiging abuloy at donasyon kapag namatay ako.”

And the No. 1 deathbed statement of a political figure or celebrity…

Sen. Francis Escudero: “Nais kong ipabatid sa inyong lahat na nagpasya na akong talikuran ang aking pagiging Romano Katoliko dahil naniniwala ako na sinumang nilikha na malapit nang makipagkita sa Panginoong Maykapal ay hindi dapat miyembro o kaanib ng anumang relihiyon, sekta, o kulto upang malaya siyang makapagpasya na siya lang – walang busal sa bibig at walang nagdidikta, alang-alang na rin sa ikakapanatag ng kanyang damdamin at ikaliligtas ng kanyang kaluluwa.”

___________
“With death comes honesty.”
~Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses

Personal
I just wanna share my Facebook status (November 3):
“Binigyan kayo ng isang buong taon upang magparehistro ngunit hindi n’yo ginawa. Sa tatlong daan at animnapu’t limang araw na inilaan sa pagpapatala, kinse minutos lamang ang gugugulin n’yo doon. Pero binalewala n’yo ang pagkakataon. Ngayon, may KAPAL PA KAYO NG MUKHA at TIBAY NG SIKMURA na magreklamo dahil inabutan kayo ng deadline? Kung gusto n’yo ng pagbabago, simulan n’yo sa inyong mga sarili. Puñeta!

Elsewhere
Philippine Star’s William Esposo on Erap and GMA [Note: Before you could even accuse me of being self-serving, sige, aamin na ko. Hahaha You’ll find out later why.] Thanks Mr. Chair Wrecker!

Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Conrado De Quiros on Chiz Escudero, Danding Cojuangco, and political parties

Unlike Esposo and De Quiros, Manila Standard Today’s editor in chief Jojo Robles is apparently not a fan of Noynoy Aquino

Note: A couple of readers have emailed me asking the rationale behind Sen. Manny Villar’s “last words.” I’d like to know if you didn’t get it as well. Why did Villar utter, “60?” Leave your guesses at the comments section.

STAR-STUDDED

All Saints Day
Millions of Filipinos flocked to cemeteries nationwide in observance of All Saints Day. It’s the time of the year when we remember the departed. There have been some notable deaths over the past 365 days. To name a few, young actor Marky Cielo; film producer Espiridion Laxa; rapper-composer Francis Magalona; former president Corazon Aquino, and Francis Escudero’s political career.

All Saints Day II
Over the weekend, the most number of “celebrity sighting” was reported at the posh Manila Memorial Park in Parañaque City. In close second? In Noynoy Aquino’s new TV ad.

New Pol Ad
Congratulations to the people behind presidential aspirant Noynoy Aquino’s music video – the newest premature political ad on television. It was awesome! The best part of the ad was when Noynoy Aquino was not given any speaking lines.

New Pol Ad II
Presidentil aspirant Noynoy Aquino’s new music video has started airing on television. And everyone agreed: the music video was way better than his track record.

New Pol Ad III
Have you seen the political advertisement of presidential aspirant Noynoy Aquino titled “Hindi Ka Nag-iisa?” Here’s a piece of trivia about that music video: 60 percent of Filipino voters were there!

New Pol Ad IV
Rumors say a big amount of money was spent in creating Noynoy Aquino’s political ad. The amount was so huge, it was even bigger than Danding Cojuangco’s promised financial support for Chiz Escudero.

New Pol Ad V
Have you seen Sen. Noynoy Aquino’s music video titled “Hindi Ka Nag-iisa?” Well, Sen. Manny Villar is coming out with his own music video titled, “Hindi Ka Nagdodoble.”

New Pol Ad VI
Sen. Noynoy Aquino’s new music video titled featured actors, actresses, and Purefoods’ James Yap. Well, Erap is coming out with his own music video too featuring actors, actresses, and Burger King’s Wynne Arboleda!

In Other News…
I wonder what will be the hottest issue this week. But I do remember last week’s biggest news: “Another man left Loren Legarda for good.”

Loren’s Running Mate?
Sen. Loren Legarda says she will announce her presidential running mate in two weeks. Actually, she wanted to make the announcement tomorrow. However, she opted to postpone it until the second week of November… after getting assurance from Manny Villar that he wouldn’t bolt the Nacionalista Party.
___________
“Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, and riches take wings. Only one thing endures and that is character.”
~Horace Greeley

Survey Says
Without a party, should Sen. Francis Escudero pursue his presidential bid?
SURE, Why not?: 13%
NO, Sa 2016 na lang siya: 40%
Wala akong pakialam 47%

We have a new survey. Please vote now.