THE EX-FUTURE FIRST LADY

5 09 2009

mar_korina Top 10 Messages Left on Korina Sanchez’ Answering Machine

No. 10: Hello ‘nak, si Nanay Cristy Fermin mo ‘to. Isaisip mo sa tuwina, ang Poong Maykapal ay hindi nagbibigay ng pagsubok na hindi kakayanin ng Kanyang nilalang. Malalampasan mo ‘yan ‘nak. Teka lang, ‘nak, ‘yong pangako mong sobre, ‘di ko pa natatanggap.

No. 9: Hi Korina, sa ABS-CBN newsroom ‘to. We’re all here! Guys, altogether now. One… two… three! Ang saya-saya!

No. 8: Hello Korina, Cynthia Villar here. I don’t expect you to believe me but… ramdam kita. Andun ka na eh! Todo-effort ka na eh! Nag-leave ka pa nga ‘di ba? ‘Tapos, biglang uurong?! Ang sakiiiiiiit! Ang sakit-sakit! Tisyu! Penge akong tisyu!

No. 7: Hi Ma’am, si Abby po ito, secretary ni Dr. Palayan. Gusto pong malaman ni Doc kung gagamitin n’yo pa ang luma n’yong pisngi. Naiwan n’yo raw kasi sa clinic last week.

No. 6: Korina, this is Mel. Yup, Mel Tiangco. Wala lang.

No. 5: Hi Korina, si Sharon ‘to. What you said about Kiko was hurtful. You were never his partner. You are not his wife! Kaya ‘di mo siya nirerespeto. Madrasta ka lang! Madrasta!

No. 4: Hi friendsheeeeeep, this is Kris. Alam mo, I heard your interview sa radio last week and in fairness to you huh, may potential ka sa drama. Promise! Sabi ko nga kay Ms Charo, i-guest ka sa MMK eh. O sige, need to go. Nangungulet na si Josh eh. Humihingi ba naman ng one gallon of ice cream. Gosh, he’s consumed two gallons already ‘noh. Ahah-ahah-ahah! Bye sis! And give my regards to Vice President Mar.

No. 3: Korina, it’s Conrad De Quiros of Inquirer. I just realized, I might have erred in saying that Mar was power hungry. He’s not. But you are!

No. 2: Hon, alam kong nandiyan ka. Alam kong nakikinig ka. Sagutin mo naman ang tawag ko oh. Bakit ba ayaw mo ‘kong kausapin? Ilang beses na ‘kong nag-sorry sa naging decision ko ‘di ba? ‘Tsaka sabi mo sa press, okay lang sa ‘yo ang nangyari. Hon, hello? Hon? Tang-ina hon, ‘pag ako napikon si Noynoy ang papakasalan ko.

And the No. 1 message left on Korina Sanchez’ answering machine…

Hello Korina! Apologies for what happened last week at Club Filipino. Nagmamadali kasi ako kaya nabundol kita. Siyanga pala, si Karma ‘to.

Light Bites: First Ladies
Imelda Marcos: Imeldific
Cynthia Villar : Cynthetic
Korina Sanchez: Cosmetic

Enjoy your long weekend!

____________
Kung gaano kataas ang lipad, ganoon din ang lagapak ‘pag bagsak.
~Kasabihang Pilipino

From the Inquirer’s Gossip Section: September 6, 2009
Hated News Diva

Former staffers of News Diva are reportedly rejoicing that her dream of social prominence has hit the skids.

A source says disgruntled former co-workers earlier prepared a white paper, with video support, detailing ND’s crimes and misdemeanors and portraying ND as the rudest, most hated personality in mass media.

Alas, since ND’s ambition was nipped in the bud, the hate video remains hidden until further notice.

Grabe! Ang hirap namang hulaan! Hahaha

Personal
Try to catch “Kimmy Dora” in a theater near you. Eugene Domingo is insanely funny in her latest project. A really entertaining film. Another comedy that I hope to see soon in theaters is “Last Supper No. 3,” the best picture in the 2009 Cinemalaya Film Festival. .

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88 responses

5 09 2009
watdapak

hahahaha, pede na ko matulog ng nakangiti, i love it!,
1st na naman ako dto, wala bang prize? joke, keep it coming!! those power hungry corrupt humans will not know what hit em’ :)

5 09 2009
myrna

Masterpiece ito! One of your best! Sobrang exactamento!

5 09 2009
Náy Cristy

@PH: Panó mo ná–wiretap ang answering machine ni Koring? Bataan ka ni Ramos, ano?!

Buti’t naisumbong sa akin ni KANDONG ang tungkol dito! Lab you, Nák! :roll:

5 09 2009
kandongKANTANOD

Welcome Náy! Thank you rin po’t di ninyo idinawit si Almonte! :mrgreen:

5 09 2009
chiwee

Dang Korina. i never liked her ever since she turned her back to doctors, the ones who gave her back the glory of her pre-accident-disfigured faced. Talk of a dog boting the hand of her master that feed her. Sarili lang nya ang iniintindi nya.

His atty father was so okay though sa Merville. Ang layo ni Korina sa parents nya. It’s a case I guess of too much feeling-star gone into her head.

5 09 2009
chakiwaki

OMG! galing galing mo talagang writer.
may i add these?

question: why did noynoy have to pray for discernment even after mar withdrew from the presidency?

answer: because in their meetings, mar said package deal ang first lady.

NEWS FLASH: Aspiring First Lady Korina Sanchez has decided to let the Liberal Party decide in a convention who will be her husband.

5 09 2009
leo.mercado

hello, ate koring? si soledad po ito. manok ko hindi atat kanya ayun. belaaaaat!

p.s. solid sharonian ako kanya mas type ko si kiko na running mate ni noy.

belaaaat again!!!!!

6 09 2009
Du

Aray, ang sakit ng tama. Ramdam na ramdam ko!

6 09 2009
pinoygossipboy

Haha. Ngayon nya mapapatunayan kung talagang mahal sya ni Mar. :)

6 09 2009
kandongKANTANOD

Ano ka? Éh di ba nga’t nitong isang araw ay dinala pa ni Mar si Korina sa libingan ng kanyang lolo’t tatay? Yún nga lang – nakapaģisip–isip at nakapaģhunos–dili si Mar! :mrgreen:

1 01 2010
eufems

ipamumulto daw sa kanila pag inaway xa ni News Diva

13 09 2009
FE

@pinoygossipboy:
Hindi kaya mas angkop ito:

Ngayon makikita ni Mar kung talagang mahal siya ni Korina, at kung gusto pa siyang pakasalan nito, considering na mukhang walang prospect na magiging future first lady siya kung si Mar ang asawa niya.

Ngehehe

6 09 2009
jpeb

funny and mean. lol

6 09 2009
nhix

Whoah! Another masterpiece heckler! Grabe khit nmn ano sbhin ni Korina, alam ng lahat ng Pinoy n tlgang nsaktan lng siya dhil hindi n siya ang future First Lady!

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BEHLAT KORINA!

Nga pala guys at Mr.Heckler, nrinig nyo b ung blita n sinuporthan ni Manny Pacquiao c Chavit sa kaso nya sa pambubugbog sa asawa nya?! GRABE! Isa lang patunay na HINDI TALAGA MARUNONG MAGISIP TONG C PACMAN! Mabuti nga gnwa nya un, pra mgcng gcng nmn mga taong SAKALING boboto sknya!

BISET! :))

13 09 2009
December

Grabe talaga comments ng mga tao. Kawawa naman mga kababayan ko, dahil sa katiwalian sa gobyerno, nababaliw na ang mga mamamayang Pilipino. Nakakaawa talaga, wala na sa katinuan mga tao.

6 09 2009
batang buotan

Kawawang first lady, future pa lang naging ex-first lady kaagad!

6 09 2009
senior60

be kind naman to korina, kayo ba ang muntik

ng magiging first lady ng dalawang beses kung

hindi rin ba kayo hahagulhol

6 09 2009
i'm no angel

another masterpiece from PH….
I do think Korina should be put in her proper place…
not in Malacanang!
baka next time ikaw naman ang banatan ni Korina sa radio

6 09 2009
chakiwaki

ang prublema sa babaeng iyan, eh kung bumanat sa kung sino sino, ganun ganun na lang. tapos pag siya babanatan, aaray siya. Pikon pala eh.
Kapal ng mukha. Hirap sa kaniya pag pabor sa kaniya, mamamahayag siya.
pag hindi na, pulitiko o asawa ng pulitiko siya.

that woman stifles dissent. tapos gagawin siyang fist lady?
Pustahan tayo, mas masahol pa siya kila Mike Arroyo at Imelda Marcos Combined.

Imelda and Mike werent this bad at this point in their spouse’s political careers.
she’s the power hungry bitch that she really is.

sana nga yung mga kalaban niya ilabas na ang baho niya para makilatis ng lahat itong babaeng ito na akala ng lahat eh kung sinong santo.

6 09 2009
yas

unang entry pa lang wala na…hindi ko na mapigilan tawa ko!

6 09 2009
layna

bwehehehe. let us be happy that korina will not be first lady….. for now. they say the third time’s a charm…..OMG! HEAVEN FORBID!

PH, one of your best posts. I lurve it!

6 09 2009
layna

to senior60: 3rd time’s a charm. baka sa pangatlong pagkakataon, maging first lady na cya……ni jamby!!!! :-)

6 09 2009
senior60

hindi layna, lightning strikes thrice daw,

same category….

6 09 2009
acinerov

LOL, I loved this. Nagising ata ang diwa ko sa kakatawa.
Just goes to show na meron talagang “karma”.

7 09 2009
Horhe marinero

Once again I started a dismal day but this blog brightened it! Di ko alam na may makukunan pa pala ako ng humour these days but this blog did it…
Also I am standing for Master Conrado, that’s surely what’s running inside his brilliant head right now.
Nobody barks at my idol Conrado d*m#et!
Thanks Master PH!

7 09 2009
Dinah

uy, ang sasama nyo ha! ha ha ha.

7 09 2009
toni

hahahaha..gling! sobra!

7 09 2009
earthlingorgeous

winner! mabuhay ka!

7 09 2009
Pinoyuzisero

The blog in the universe. Nga pala nabalitaan nyo na ba yung blunder na ginawa ni Mike enriquez sa 24 oras. instead of saying Iglesia ni Cristo , sinabi ni mike ay Iglesia ni Manalo. nag explain na si Mike, pero hindi nag sorry.

7 09 2009
loi da chihuahua

sobra naman ang photoshop na ginawa sa mag cover na yan, ba’t ang liit ng braso ni koring jan eh sa totoong buhay eh parang giant chorizo de bilbao ang mga brazos nya. at saka sinobrahan din ang photoshop sa jawline nya ha! mandaraya talaga! ayoko naaaaa!

13 09 2009
FE

@loi da chihuahua:

Palagay pinakyaw na lang talaga bale yung pag retoke sa kanya.

7 09 2009
Smile

I hope Mar calls off the wedding. he’s walking around with a vote-repeller. in all honesty, i like Mar. but the only reservation about installing him in Malacanang is the wife he is about to bring with him. can u imagine Korina as a bedfellow? yaiks.

7 09 2009
bradfeet

di kaya mag ala …BASILIOOOO…SISSSAAAA si koring? makuliling sa sinapit na
dalamhati.. ginatungan nyo pa..este natin pala .. hehehe

7 09 2009
purpleesh

exquisitely witty! kudos to you heckler!

7 09 2009
miguel

Dapat siguro magsama si Koring at Kris A pareho silang tactless and rude. Hehehe

18 09 2009
Anonymous

ano bang ginawa s inyo ni korina at ganyan kyo makacomment?

8 09 2009
kwag

mabuting tao cla mar at korina., plastic nga lang

8 09 2009
Worried Pinoy

“The business is ver good, The Office is very big, and the bank, is very nice!” hahaha… Si Korina sa katawan ni Kimmy. hehehe…

8 09 2009
Bevie

Yun na. Apir!

8 09 2009
juanaganda

Bravo! PH, your visual counter-part is Jon Santos’ recent show, did you watch it? wasak din si Korina ‘dun…….’love the “Karma” part, well, she truly deserves all the bashings she’s getting now.

8 09 2009
anonymous

kunwari lang nag back out si Mar para bumango pangalan nya. Hindi pa naman kasi surekung tatakbo si Noynoy

8 09 2009
melo

Ang masasabi ko lang eh HI,KORINAK…SANA DI NA RIN MATULOY ANG KASAL!!!! MAGSAMA KAYONG DALAWA NI WILLIE REVILLAME…YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER!!!

8 09 2009
Jenny

loved it! hope u dont mind my re-posting it over FB ;-)

8 09 2009
Anonymous

Galing mo pre, idol talaga kita, pag di natuloy ang kasal, he, he, he,… para siyang bagoong na 5 years old in an oak barrel,.. ang alat.

8 09 2009
Rachel

Panalo! wahahahaha!

9 09 2009
Smile
9 09 2009
The Lady in Green Ruffles

ive already watched kimmy dora. lols..

9 09 2009
9 09 2009
Clancy

super galing po! ^^,
i agree that comedy films like Last supper no. 3 and other films in the cinemalaya should gain mainstream acceptance! yes to sensible films!

9 09 2009
rico san diego

may polio ba sa kanang braso si Koring? tignan ninyo sa picture sa itaas.

10 09 2009
Pestocheesesticks

Tama lang yan sa kanya. Eh di ba, years ago, na headline siya because she maltreated her maid. Lalo na pag naging first lady yan. Saka there are reports na abusive din daw some of her siblings. Nakarma din ang lola!!!

11 09 2009
Aling Coring

Si Korina nag-aambisyon na maging first lady? Tse, itsura mo~!

11 09 2009
mikmik

sobra naman kayo. masyado kayo magaling. di naman kayo sikat. :))

11 09 2009
victor

in no time, she will be the ex future mrs. mar roxas

11 09 2009
chiz executero

si korina ang weaknes mga politicians aquinos, failon, lopez, roxas

13 09 2009
FE

@ chiz executero:

Puro ba niya mga ex na ang mga iyon?

hehehe

Nagtatanong lang.

11 09 2009
aeilababe

Garapalan kung magkomento sa ibang tao, tapos nasaling lang ng konti eh grabe na kung mag react with matching tears pa?!
Palagay ko nasaktan sya sa sinabi ni Conrado de Quiros!!! Di para kay Mar, kundi dahil sa totoo, mas atat pa sya sa di lang atat! As in Atat na Atat!!! Atat nga… may Karma talaga!!!

11 09 2009
kambaltuko

have mercy naman to Korina..akala ko nasa side daw kayo ng ‘good’ yun pala’evil ‘ din..d ba sabi noynoy nyo may pangarap na ang pilipino pag sya manalo…actually Korina gets what she deserves the way she treated her housemaid and getting away with it…

11 09 2009
kambaltuko

from the very start wala naman chance c mar roxas manalo ,,so korina will always be the ex-future first lady..pareho lang sila ni mar ..trying hard talaga..they deserve each other..

11 09 2009
aya

this came out in cocktales.ph …http://cocktales.ph/?p=1803

12 09 2009
Tessa

I have a feeling their wedding may not push through this October.

10 11 2009
Anonymous

It did . . ok

12 09 2009
angelica

hahahahaha! so fuuny! serves her right! masyado kasi e… atat! nasayang na pangarap… oh malacanang… see you when i see you!

12 09 2009
jacky honta

Mar: Koh- moos-tah!!!
Korina: %@?# , kumustahin mo sarili mo!!!

12 09 2009
Smile

in all honest to goodness weighin and matching, Korina’s match is Willie R.

really.

13 09 2009
Marina

Breaking news!!!! Mar Roxas, nakipag-break na kay Korina Sanchez!!

13 09 2009
FE

@chakiwaki:
Naalala ko tuloy yung bali-balita noon.
Binanatan daw ni ex-future first lady sa media ang mga doctors in general, from an unfair and twisted angle, kesyo mga puro walang alam daw at mas magaling daw ang mga doctor sa abroad, ata. Then, nagkasakit daw ang nanay ni ex-future first lady at kailangang ipa-konsulta sa doctor. Ang balita e wala raw ni isang doctor na gusto lumapit at mag-asikaso sa nanay ni ex-future first lady; ang payo ata noon ay dalhin na lang niya abroad ang nanay niya kasi andun ang mga mgaling na doctor. Bali-balita rin na mahirap ng sila ang mag-asikaso dun sa nanay niya kasi raw baka hindi magustuhan ni ex-future first lady ang pag-aasikaso ng doctor at mabanatan pa sila tuloy sa media. As in papalabasin ni ex-future first lady na puro sila mga tanga at walang mga alam, etc.
Magtanong-tanong ka na lang kaya baka may magpa-totoo kung nangyari nga talaga ang nabalita na ito noon.

14 09 2009
haha!

Lolo: Marami ng dumaan dito.. ikw lang ang tumigil at nakinig sa amin.
Mar: ?????????
Lolo: Mar? Mar? Mar?

14 09 2009
haha!

Estudyante: Gusto ko snang ipagpatuloy ang aking pag-aaral…

Mar: Lalaban tyo!

Ale: Mar, kulang ang nabili ko pag 2 lang pero 5 kakain.

Mar: Lalaban tyo!

bakit ang layo ng sagot nya sa tanong, LALABAn tyo!

15 09 2009
tuko

Pakasalan na lang ni Korina si Noynoy para matuloy ambisyon nya na maging First Lady

16 09 2009
HALANG BITUKA

kung gusto nya maging first lady, matoto na syang magbalat elepante ng sa gayon di sya maging balat sibuyas! asus… masyado syang OA.

16 09 2009
scorpion

Buti nga sa kanya! I wanted to vote for Mar but because of her, hwag na lang. Ang press release niya eh she comes from a middle-class fam. Eh bakit ganun kalaki bahay nya? Saan kaya nanggaling perang pinagpatayo nun? Saka sabi ng maid ko, meron daw syang friend na nag-work sa kanya eh talaga daw masama ang ugali. Ang tanging mahal lang daw eh si aso nya!

17 09 2009
Kandingga

Nakakatakot isipin ang isa pang posibilidad..Kung manalo si Noynoy at wala siyang asawa, si Kris Aquino ang First Lady nya waaahhhh…

18 09 2009
Smile
19 09 2009
Meow

Ahaahha ayan kung bakit kasi nakipag break ka pa kay NoyNoy….

21 09 2009
ole

galing! musta ka na sir?

22 09 2009
twiva

masyado naman kasi sya nag mamadaling maging first lady, ayan tuloy napurnada. may nabalitaan nga ako sa friend ko sa government ang sabi dapat 2 yang pinag pipilian ni mar na maging rumored girlfriend si kris daw at si korina . kasi nga tatakbong presidente si mar pagdating ng panahon kaya kelangan na nya kumuha ng babaeng malakas sa tao, kaso nagkamali sya ng napili …. malakas nga sa tao kasi laging laman ng mga kontobersya gaya ng pananakit sa mga katulong. ano ba yan, daig pa nya ang amo sa middle east namamalantsa ng katulong.. grabe… buti nga sa kanya… sayang ka, Mar!

29 09 2009
FROM ABS

what you said about korina’s attitude inside the newsroom is so untrue. she may not be close to everybody but we acknowledge that she is our best news anchor and deserves all the credit

9 10 2009
KABAYAN « Ramblings of a Believer

[...] columnist Victor Agustin a.ka. “Philippine Daily Inquirer’s pain in the ass” is misinformed. That post about the ex-Future First Lady was not written as a “chain mail” as he just claimed. People who read the post just started [...]

29 10 2009
Vven de Lamas

Abangan ang pelikulang “Pahiram ng Pisngi” at “Mayo na ng Hinugot: God Save Her” directed by yours trulili.

6 11 2009
blahblah

PANALO!!! die korina! die!!!

9 12 2009
Matteo

Hahaha! Even if I read it all over again, I still find myself laughing. THE BEST!

Eto ang isa sa maraming dahilan kung bakit naka-bookmark ang website na ito. Hahaha!

7 01 2010
orlymacaroni

hahahahaha…this is really funny…. tama lang na sabihang ambisyosa si Koring kasi naman noh, feeling nya ubod na ng galing ng asawa nyang si MAR, eh bakla naman,, i am wondering pag natutulog sila naka “kamison” rin ba si mar.. bwhahahaaha….

13 04 2010
Jazz

ang gandang babasahin sa isang medyo malamig na summer morning! kumpleto na araw ko. hehehehe

13 04 2010
The Lady in Green Ruffles

dami mong sideline no..sama mo naman ako o..hehe
by the way..SHE’s my boss..hehe

16 06 2010
Shaina

a staff told me that right after what happened to St. Luke’s.. she said.. “I am Korina Sanchez!” and didnt pay the hospital bill!

11 11 2010
Ceiloh

There are also rumors that she (korina) pour a cup of hot coffee to a practicum student (journalism) just bcoz the coffee is not of her standard taste…hello, the student is a future journalist not a coffee maker!!! If she don’t like the taste, she should have say it. Why pouring it to the helpless student?! My God, she’s a sadist!

3 07 2011
A D R I F T

[...] is very hilarious. I just found this from professional heckler while randomly surfing on the net. Too political, but who doesn’t enjoy political jokes every [...]

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