Sen. Manuel Villar has topped both the latest surveys conducted by the Social Weather Stations and Pulse Asia. When Sen. Jamby Madrigal and her lawyer Ernesto Francisco Jr heard the report, they asked each other, “Haven’t we done enough?!?”
Sen. Manuel Villar has zoomed to the top of two surveys on presidential aspirants. Eh mamudmod ka ba naman ng mga bahay at lupa sa Wowowee, paanong ‘di ka magta-top n’yan!
In the latest Pulse Asia survey, Jesus is Lord founder Bro. Eddie Villanueva got only 1 percent while Father Ed Panlilio got 0.4 percent. Pulse Asia said these figures have once proven that God was trying its best to stay neutral.
Presidential aspirant Mar Roxas placed 5th and 6th in the latest Pulse Asia, and SWS surveys, respectively. Alarmed by the results of the surveys, Roxas is urging Korina Sanchez to marry him this weekend.
Top 5 Unsolicited Pieces of Advice to Mar Roxas For Him to Fare Better in the Next Survey
No. 5: Do a Doy. Give way to Noynoy.
No. 4: Prove to us that you’re not part of a big show: reschedule your October 2009 wedding after the elections.
No. 3: You and Korina must stop professing your undying love for each other on TV, radio and print. She’s 45; you’re 52. Hindi kayo sina Kim at Gerald.
No. 2: Stop acting. Those kids in your political ads deliver their lines a lot better than you do. So drop the crap that “ramdam ko kayo” because we know and you know that you don’t! Bitch!
And the No. 1 unsolicited advice to Mar Roxas for him to fare better in the next survey…
Totally stop the airing of your TV ads. Anyway, they don’t say much about your accomplishments or your concrete plans for the Filipino people. And if the members of your own staff are afraid to articulate the truth, heto… makinig ka Mar: Nakakasuka ang mga TV commercials mo!
Deposed president Joseph Estrada will definitely run again for president in 2010. He promises to reveal in October: his picks for the Senate, his bet for VP, and his choice for First Lady.
Carlo J for Senator?
Controversial director Carlo J. Caparas is reportedly running for senator next year. Asked about his number 1 qualification, he replied, “Mas marami akong alam na English words kaysa kay Lito Lapid.”
An 18-year-old boy in Leon, Iloilo was arrested after he was caught in the act of having sex with a goat… to which the wife of the House Speaker said, “What’s the big deal?!? I’ve had sex with a crocodile!”
Bizarre Behavior II
An 18-year-old boy in Iloilo was nabbed after he was caught in the act of having sex with a goat. But that was nothing compared to President Arroyo who shares her bed with a vulture.
“People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.”